A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Fried Rice vs. Chow Mein

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

When it comes to fried rice and chow mein, which is the more satisfying side? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. It's a take-out, take-down. When it comes to fried rice and chow mein, which is the more satisfying side? This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Enyedi. And today, wait, what?

Yeah, I have a new last name now. What the heck, had you lost your old one? Yeah, I got a new one. I found it in the recycling bin. You found it in the bastion of true love that is a very lovely and tasteful Jewish wedding ceremony. Yes, I did. I am now, I'm no longer Nicole Hendizadeh. I'm now Nicole Enaidi. You can also call me Nicole Enaiati. You can call me Nicole E.

You can call me Nicole Enaiati. There's like a bunch of ways to say it. I'm going to just call you Nikki. Can I call you Nikki? Absolutely not. That is the worst thing you can do. Do not ever call me Nikki. All right.

Well, that's very fitting because today, Nicole, we are ranking all of the food at your wedding. Now, I thought the decision to go with Yakitori and Brazilian barbecue was interesting because you got two different skewered meats. That's what I said. And it was great. Oh, my God. See, that's what I said, but I was a little bit worried that it'd be too meat forward and I needed some people to eat some veggies, a little bit of carbohydrates because they're going to be drinking so much. Yeah, yeah. No, I had some nice little cella team going on.

You did? I felt very. Was there a shawarma station? There was. Well, they had like kubide. Shut up. I didn't even know. They weren't doing the shaw There was. They had like kubideh. Shut up. I didn't even know. They weren't doing the shawarma live. They had like kubideh and like a steam table. And it was good. It was well done kubideh. But I will say, the

yakitori, the dude was impatient and the wind was blowing the heat on his coals out. And so I did eat a fair amount of straight raw ground beef. I'm so sorry. Well, whatever. No, point is, I'm very happy for you and Mr. Anaiti thank you so much

this is very lovely and someone else has to change your last name on all the company websites not me yeah I know

that's great yeah I already spoke to whoever I have to speak to don't worry about it good good good anyways no we are here

to talk about a very non wedding you did not have a single plate of chow mein or fried rice at your wedding I know

which is it gets points off in my book. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, see, so it's not okay. I got points off. But that is what we're talking about. Nicole. Yeah.

Nicole Enayati. Yes. Enayati. Sorry. It's okay. You need to, you're going to learn. The more that you say it, the more you're going to get used to it. Are you saying the official pronunciation is Enayati?

Enayati. Enayati. Enayati. Enayati. Yes. Nicole Enayati. Yes. Fried rice or chow mein okay so my answer is a little convoluted and i apologize in advance are you saying that this podcast occasionally might get convoluted just a little bit just sometimes so my stance is chow mein is my preference when i am eating at panda express because immediately my mind went to this debate

is about Panda Express food. I don't know why. My brain was like, okay, Panda Express sides, like you're ordering your entrees, you're ordering your like a carb or whatever. And obviously it's always chow mein. It's never the fried rice there ever. But when I'm at home, when I'm at a Chinese restaurant,

when I am ordering takeout, most of the time it's fried rice. Interesting. Yes. That's my take. One of the biggest complaints that we get about this podcast is that Josh talks too much and he generally sucks. That's so mean. I refuse to accept that. I don't believe that.

One of the other biggest complaints that we get is the idea of regionality and that you and I have certain biases growing up on the West Coast, which is, of course, absolutely true. We are all victims to our own biases in some way or another. And our bias here, it is literally a straight Panda Express bias. I guess. Because if you go to the East Coast, right, like Panda Express started in California, East Coast. Panda Inn. You ever had Panda Inn? I've never been.

So the original Panda Inn, a panda express it's like the wolfgang puck express right exactly like it started because there was a full-fledged restaurant called the panda in in pasadena that still does an all-you-can-eat buffet on the weekends yep r.i.p possibly due to covid restrictions boy do i miss buffets but it's so funny because i remember looking up yelp photos and it's literally just like a buffet of Panda Express items at the full restaurant Panda Inn. Yeah. The point is East Coast doesn't have Panda Express. What do they have?

Just tons of mom and pop Chinese restaurants. Like actual cooked by Chinese people. Exactly. It's like how we have, you know, tons of mom and pop Mexican restaurants in California. Makes a lot of sense. You know, now you have New York just getting birria for the first time. That's exciting. And they're like all stoked on it.

But I've had some of it and it's like, ah, this isn't very. You had birria in New York? Yeah, just like, well, it's not good. Oh, well, they'll learn. I think it's a process. Yeah. It's like, you know, bagels on the West Coast.

Anyways, point is there's a lot of mom and pop shops doing things and it's very different from Panda Express, literally down to the name. So I agree with you. When I go to Panda Express, I get chow mein. Fried rice is just not my jam. I enjoy it. I would never turn my nose up at a plate of fried rice. But for me, pretty much anywhere I go, I'm taking the shot on the noodles. I think the noodles to me are almost always more pleasant unless I think you need to keep up a certain sort of sauce coefficient. The other

complaint that I get in this podcast is from Meggie, our producer, saying that I don't know what the word coefficient means. Is that a math term? Is that a math term? Yeah, technically. But I just use it to mean, like, thing. Like a variable. If you're to have a sauce coefficient...

Okay, hold on. Meggie, I've heard that from other people, too. It's not just you, by the way. Actual science people, hit me up. Okay, a coefficient is a Maggie, I've heard that from other people too. It's not just you, by the way. Like it's actual science people hit me up. Okay. A coefficient is a numerical or constant quantity placed before and multiplying the variable in an algebraic expression. Yeah. So I believe in this algebraic expression of take out Chinese food,

you need a consistent level, or I would call it a sauciness coefficient to ride out the entire meal. So say you need a sauciness level of, I don't know, like three parts per thousand. I don't know what the hell this means. I have a, I have like a fifth grade math education. You're not helping me. All I'm saying is if I have saucier mains, uh, fried rice works better for me. But if I have drier mains, then I like to just eat a plate of stir fried noodles.

Yeah. Yeah. Same. Cause to me, to me, rice, like the, the, the strength of rice is to have a saucy component on it, to soak up anything, right? Soak it up. Yeah, yeah. It's like eating rice with koresh.

Exactly. Right? Whereas I don't even need the rice with cabbage. Rice with curry, rice with anything. Yeah. Exactly. But for me, like rice and a drier dish doesn't do much for me. And whenever I go to Panda, I'm typically getting the dried candied meats, right?

The ones that are fried, the ones that don't have sauce, just like oozing off of it. Correct. But if I'm getting like a mapo tofu or something, I love having rice and fried rice absolutely to soak that up. So that's where I'm coming from. Yeah. I don't know why. It's just when I'm at home, I feel like the ease of cooking fried rice is definitely for me. Like it's just you throw things in a wok, you cook it up with whatever veggies you have, whatever protein you have. But whenever it comes

to chow mein, I feel like there's more artistry that goes into chow mein. It's harder to, have you like tried to do a traditional chow mein at home? No, I don't trust myself to make a good chow mein. It's hard because. But I trust myself to make a good fried rice. I think so, so wok cookery, right, is like really big in Chinese food, obviously, and the strength of wok cookery is a ton of surface area and really, really freaking high heat. And that's something that's really hard to get, especially when you're cooking on noodles. Yeah. And so noodles you need to get to get that like chewy texture of chow mein, which Panda Express chow mein is really freaking good. It is so good. All of y'all on the East Coast, get out to the West Coast just to eat our In-N-Out and our Panda Express.

And I'll show you some good taquerias out here, too. But if you don't have that super high heat and a lot of surface area in your own home kitchen, if you're using a saute pan on a burner, then you get steam developing and it overcooks the noodles. We even did this when I did the Fancy Panda Express episode for Fancy Fast Food. We did the chow mein fully from scratch. We made the fresh noodles. And it was fine. Sure, okay. We did the chow mein like fully from scratch, right? We made the fresh noodles. And it was fine. It was good.

But we like, I didn't get the texture of that slight oil crispiness with the chewy bounce on the noodles. It kind of overcooked and steamed together. And so to me, it's like,

I mean, fried rice, people could say the same, right? That you should use a wok for it. Yeah, sometimes fried rice can also get soupy and gross and, you know, it doesn't have that like,

I love a little crisp on my fried rice. A little tajic always makes me happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. also get soupy and gross and, you know, doesn't have that like, I love a little crisp on my fried rice. A little tadig always makes me happy. Yeah. So, yeah, but definitely I feel like noodles have a more intense learning. Like you have to know how to cook noodles. And I think they're worse if you screw it up. Yes.

Like a crappy fried rice is still salvageable. I agree with that. But when you have, you know, limp noodles and like overcooked veggies and the sauce is just sticky and gross, there's no way of saving it. Fried rice, you know, it's like you add a little bit more vegetables, you add a little bit of water to help cut it out, you turn up the heat, you let it crisp a little bit more, you

add an egg if you really, really want to. Yeah, if you just keep, especially if you're doing the proper thing and letting your rice dry out overnight, using leftover rice. For sure. Because if you're using fresh rice then it's going to steam and it's just going to get a gloopy mess. But again Never use fresh rice. Even if you do it because I've done that. I will

talk about the way that I cook at home. People are like that's sacrilege. Never do that. And I'm like I'm not trying to get a Michelin star. I'm trying to make dinner for myself in 20 minutes so I can watch A Handmaid's Tale for the next two hours. Oh I love Handmaid's Tale. I just finished season four. Oh, my gosh.

I found my, it's like, oh, my God, the final episode, incredible. Hello, Depresso? Yeah, but, like, it's, like, Depresso for multiple reasons. Okay, cool, I can't wait. Yeah, violently Depresso. Don't tell me, don't tell me. But that show became a burden on my life. What a brick to the face.

Every episode is just, like, jeez. Yeah, it rocks. I love it. Oh, watching that show with your romantic partner is terrible, too. That's what I do. Oh, I just started apologizing to Julia. Like, I'm so sorry for what we did. Really?

I promised to never start an authoritarian state, baby. Me and David have so much fun watching it. Oh, God. Brutal. We love it. Anyways, point is, when I go to a restaurant, I want to eat something that I can't do myself. That is something that my mom and dad say all the time. Yeah.

Is that why you don't get Persian food at restaurants? No, we do. But a lot of the times they're like, yeah, they're just like, why would we go out and do this when we can do it at home? You know, so I understand that mentality 100%. I'm the ultimate we have food at home guy now. I'm going to be such a good dad. My kids are going to ask me for things and I'm just going to go, no, we have food at home guy now. I'm going to be such a good dad. My kids are going to ask me for things and I'm just going to go,

no, we have food at home. You know what's in my fridge right now? What? Blue moon, water bottles, four Pepsi cans, and the top of my wedding cake. That's what's in my fridge right now.

Mine's actually not far off. It's like six Modellos, 19 condiments, eggs that are past the expiration date, but I still think you could eat. Oh, no. And then some kale. So, yeah, I'm not great now. Very college dorm of you. Oh, super, super, super.

Super college dorm of you. Here's another question. If you had to choose, this might be a good podcast topic for another day, though. Okay. If you could only eat out for the rest of your life versus only cook at home for the rest of your life which would you choose oh man see i'm a new woman now and i don't know if i want to spend so much time cooking when i could just be eating yeah it makes sense no it does i. And I've gone back and forth on this question. I do love cooking, though. I really do.

But it can get exhausting if you do it, like, I don't know, three times a day every day for the rest of your life. And imagine, like, if you wanted, like, a papaya salad. If you want a proper papaya salad, which is a Thai dish, one of my favorite dishes, to make it proper, I you need the thai wooden mortar and pestle to pound it out you need like a special tool to to shave off the green papaya yeah you need to go find green papaya somewhere like that's the thing on that question that trips me out because i agree with you cooking to me is very therapeutic i love doing it doing it all the time certainly gets exhausting sure yeah um but then like if i want a papaya salad, if I want carby jim. Exactly. What are you going to do?

Cook it? Yeah, I'm going to spend three days. No, I want to go somewhere that is making food that I can't do. Some place that has a turbo burner for a wok. Exactly. That can make me beautifully crispy chow mein with a soy sauce just like soaks into the noodles. Yeah. And it's somehow equally like dry and wet at the same time.

And to me, Panda Express does a really good job maintaining that texture. Meanwhile, their fried rice, to me, it's a little bit under-seasoned. It's a little dry. It's a little dry. However, however. But the peas, there's peas in it. There is. I do love the peas.

Oh, that little bag of mixed baby frozen veg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh, girl. Is it frozen or dehydrated? Because sometimes my soul tells me these are dehydrated and reconstituted in water. But maybe they're frozen. It could be frozen don't know i don't know i went to uh a teppanyaki restaurant for the first time in my entire life yeah i know i'm really living i've never i've still never been to a benihana this is an independent place you've never been to a benihana

shout out to miyako on the in margate on Jersey Shore. They were understaffed by about 100 people and the teppanyaki chef came out. Also, it's fascinating because they call it hibachi. What is the difference between teppanyaki and hibachi? So hibachi is like a small grill that has nothing to do with the giant teppanyaki flat top. But I think it was just this kind of misnomer that started happening where people started calling it hibachi and then it stuck. Benihana literally on their website has an explainer being like, hey,'t hibachi hibachi is a small grill this is teppanyaki but also a lot of people say hibachi and so if you want to call us that whatever just come give us your money smart smart did you know that that's steve aoki's dad yeah yeah and devon aoki's dad

wait steve aoki and devon aoki the actress, are siblings? I think so. Can you Google this real quick? Devin Aoki, fantastic in both Sin City as well as Too Fast, Too Furious. Oh, his half-sister is model Devin Aoki, half-sister, half-sister. What a successful family between Sin City, the Hava Nigila house remix with Timmy Trumpet. I was going to say the song Boneless rocks. Anyways, there are other styles of fried rice. Not just like, so what we're talking about is. Sure, I like Hawaiian fried rice. What's Hawaiian fried rice?

I don't know. Whenever I go to the fried rice, whenever I go to Hawaiian restaurants, they have like, it has like spam and like stuff in it. Oh, spam fried rice? Yeah. Yeah. That's good. As far as like, when we're talking about fried rice, like in America, I think we're typically

talking about Cantonese style food. A lot of or Cantonese, Hunanese, Hunanese. OK. Anyways, point is, there are a lot of regional variations on these noodles and also noodles and rice that have very similar names. So if you talk about chow mein on the East Coast, they're likely talking about the crispy noodles that they call Hong Kong style chow mein. likely talking about the crispy noodles that they call Hong Kong style chow mein. I've had Hong Kong style chow mein in San Francisco at a dim sum restaurant. Was it like the kind of crispy, it was like a crispy bird's nest, like a bed.

It was a nest, yeah. Yeah. It was really good. That stuff's great. And they'll put like a Hong Kong style gravy on it. Really good. Oh man, smothered pork chops on the crispy noodles. Delicious, delicious. But if you go to the East Coast, they will call the soft noodles that we're referring

to as chow mein, lo mein. I know that. Yeah. Correct. But if you go to the East Coast, they will call the soft noodles that we're referring to as chow mein, lo mein. I know that. Yeah. Correct. Which is really interesting to me. And it comes from the, I guess, first immigrants on the West Coast to start slaying in noodles

were from Taishan or Taishan. Okay. Which is in Guangdong. And then Canton, so like Cantonese style crispy chow mein, which is somewhat near Hong Kong, is now called Guangzhou. Guangzhou. Yeah.

And so there was this weird little name mix up. So there's like so many freaking styles of noodles. Right. But we only get like a small one. Ditto with the amount of fried rice. Pretty much every culture figured out, yo, fry rice with oil and tasty things. And that is a good dish. What are your favorite other than spam fried rice,

do you have any other favorite fried rice dishes out there? I don't know if I have different fried rices that I really gravitate towards, but I do love, there's one thing I love in not Panda Express chow mein, and that's wood ear mushrooms. Oh, yeah. The wood ear mushrooms and the bamboo shoots that you get. Wood ear mushrooms are the super, they're very like thin and black and almost have this kind of like crunchy. They're like, if you don't like cook them properly, they can be really nasty.

Yeah, I've undercooked wood ears and they're not good. If you've undercooked it, it's like chewing through like rubber bands. But if you get a beautifully cooked chow mein with bamboo shoots and wood ear mushrooms, it like changes the game. Yeah, the wood ear mushrooms, they have this, I would call it like a cartilaginous snap. Correct, yeah. It's almost like the texture you get eating jellyfish or- Or tendon. Or tendon, or what's the chicken gizzards?

Really? Have you ever had chicken gizzards? They got that like this snap to them. I have had multiple times. It's almost a crunch. Really? I've never had a crunchy gizzard. It's funny, I've never had crunchy tendon because every time I have tendon, it's generally

in Vietnamese food and it's like cooked. I don't know. I don't know. But like, I think maybe I've just had undercookedizzard. I've never had crunchy tendon because every time I have tendon, it's generally in Vietnamese food. And it's like cooked. I don't know. But like I think maybe I've just had undercooked tendon. That might be it. But yeah, I don't super, super love egg fried rice. I think it's like a very simple and tasty dish. I love egg fried rice.

Like eggs in the fried rice? Yeah. I mean, like that's like egg fried rice is like what Panda Express. I mean, they're kind of skimping on the eggs a little bit at the Panda Express. But like that's like your classic, you know, egg fried rice. However, if you go to like, say, the Indonesian nasi goreng. Yes. Right.

With what is it? Ketchup manis, which is the sweet soy. I've had a nasi goreng in an all inclusive resort in Mexico. It was really good. Why did you have nasi goreng at a resort in Mexico? Is that what they do? I don't know. I saw it there and I was like, hey, I know that dish.

I've seen it before. I've never been to an all-inclusive resort, but I desperately want to go. I've been once and I never want to go. I just, really? It's not for me. Why? I'm an explorer at heart. So me being cooped up in a resort, albeit it was a gorgeous resort and it was stunning

and I had the most beautiful experience ever. I want to go go out i just want to be taken care of i i explore i like one i like like force david to go on a bike ride with me around and like find a hut i'm like that hut has food i know it does like i'm that kind of did you find food in the hut i found i found uh what was it ceviche negra and it was black ceviche andiche negra. And it was black ceviche. And it was really good. So it was the best thing I had in Mexico was at a little hut. And I just like propped up my bike and it was raining. It was like thunderstorming the whole time and it was really fun. Speaking of Mexican food, you ever had a Mexican chow mein?

Do you mean like Peruvian? Well, no. So I've never had Mexican chow mein. Well, so chow mein is one of those things that spread across the entire world, especially like, you know, in its prepackaged form. Like you can get the little ones that La Choy does the grocery store, you know, chow mein and stuff. Were you a food stylist for La Choy? I feel like you were a food stylist for every brand. That was the one brand I couldn't get under my belt.

Sorry. But so they'll do, actually, I believe it's more popular in Guatemala. They call it like tostadas de chow mein. And chow mein kind of becomes one word. Dude, look up tostadas de chow mein right now. Oh, my gosh. And it is literally just a tostada that has just this very like saucy sweet soy chow mein on it. Oh, yum.

And it is absolutely delicious. And I love the fact that chow mein has such this like big cultural, you know, kind of like touch point to it that is spread across the entire world. And you can have stuff like tostadas at chow mein. For me, I mean, that's the biggest selling point of chow mein is that it traveled the world enough to end up in Guatemala to be on top of a tostada. Beautiful. It's spelled C-H-O-M-I-N, chow mein. Yeah, chow mein. Yeah.

That's amazing. Kimchi fried rice. Oh, my God. To me, that is maybe the elite fried rice dish. I love kimchi fried rice. Holy crap. Yeah. Do I love it more than Chinese fried rice?

No. No? You're not willing to say that? Did I say that with confidence? We don't need to pit two starchy delicious queens against each other. But I'm just saying, like, because if you're talking fried rice versus chow mein, like, are we exclusively talking about the Panda Express, the Chinese, you know,

steam table? I mean, we don't have to be exclusive about it. We don't have to be exclusive about anything, to be quite honest. It's just any fried rice dish versus any of the best, because I mean, like, ch have to be exclusive about it. We don't have to be exclusive about anything, to be quite honest. It's just any fried rice dish versus any of the best. Because, I mean, like chow mein, I think, literally just means either fried or mixed noodle, right? Main is a bastardization of mian from Chinese. Correct. I mean, I'm certainly not pronouncing anything properly, but that's where it comes from. So, like, if we're just talking about any fried rice dish versus like any you know Mian stir fried noodle dish

come on Josh give it to the people they want to know so okay one thing I do love steam table restaurants what's that? so a steam table physically refers to the when you go to say a Panda Express or most Chinese takeout restaurants you know they have this giant

bar that is just filled with hot water. And then you put a metal pan onto a rack, a hotel pan. Yeah. And the steam from the water just keeps the food hot for a long time and keeps it above the FDA regulated temperature. So you can just, you know, shplop it into somebody's plate. And I love just going into a restaurant and being able to see all of my food options available

and they can, I can just point. I want some of that. And then they slop it on there. So the point is, not only do I love the Chinese version of that, but Filipino restaurants. Can you take me? You keep talking about these Filipinos. We got to go. Josh, I'm hurt.

I want to try the Filipino hot dish steam restaurant that you always talk about. We should go to Nani Gloria tomorrow for lunch. Fine, let's do it. Because a rice dish that I prefer to egg fried rice is Filipino garlic rice. Oh, well, yeah, that's danky dank. Yeah. I mean, like, where do we I mean, it's, you know, it's like steamed with the garlic and typically cooked with some broth or MSG.

So you're getting that flavor. Yeah. Because I mean, the other option I used to not trust my brother because he would get steamed rice at Chinese restaurants. And I was always like, why? I would too sometimes though. Just as a change up? No, I mean, I mean, well, my dad. So my dad has a lot of GI issues. So he couldn't always get the fried rice because it made his tummy hurt. So we would just like opt for just steamed white rice.

And also sometimes when you eat like, for example, shrimp with black bean sauce, which is one of my favorite dishes ever to get at a Chinese restaurant. Sometimes you just need that white rice to soak up the sauce so the rice tastes like the black bean sauce. No, I actually, I don't disagree with that. I think there's like definitely something to be said for just steamed white rice as a side to, especially like steamed table, just like the saucier ones because you need that like blank canvas, right? It's like taking a plain piece of bread and just soaking up any flavorful liquid with it.

Yes, yes, yes. What were you saying? Garlic rice. Okay, yeah, what about it? I'm trying to think of the Filipino word for it. But, but, but, but, I recently went to another Filipino restaurant and I was faced

with the choice. They give you the same choice. They give you pancit or garlic rice. And I chose pancit and then I saw the garlic rice and then I immediately

had to go back and order a separate side of it. And so the noodles versus rice dichotomy does not always work out in your favor if you favor noodles

as I typically do. That's what I'm saying. I like pancit but I feel like it's something that I need to try more so I can just have more variations of pencit. But I do love garlic fried rice. It's Filipino style. It's so good. Let's keep going around the world, though. I mean, like, if you think of the best stir-fried noodle dishes and the best stir-fried rice dishes, like, you got to go to Thailand.

Oh. For me, like, if you had, like, a Thai crab fried rice with the basil in there. No, I haven't. Where can I get that? Night Market Song. Great crab fried rice. I had the pastrami rice there. So many times if I am faced with the choice between noodles and rice, I will almost always

go noodles. There are very few exceptions to where rice to me has proven more beneficial, but also this is definitely like a deeply cultural thing. Maybe, yeah. Right? Like I didn't grow up with, the only rice I grew up with in the home was rice-a-roni.

Yeah, okay. Which was a cheddar broccoli rice-a-roni. Not bad. I don't think it's bad. Also, rice-a-roni started by a Syrian immigrant. I know. You told me a while ago. I was very excited when I learned that fact.

I know. That's why there's the vermicelli in it. I understand. That's the roni in the rice-a-roni. I get it. Why is no one else's mind blown by this? I don't know. You like to repeat this story often. It's rice and macaroni. Rice-a-roni. My dad loves

rice-a-roni in case you're wondering. Really? We have four boxes of the wild rice pilaf at home. Dude, that sets fire. Yeah. He loves it so much. But talking about the cultural affinity of noodles versus rice versus bread, my starch of choice, almost without fail, is a bread.

And typically a flatbread. Interesting. I love going to the Armenian bakeries and just getting those giant sheets of lavash. Stop. I love Armenian. If I could be any restaurant, I would be an Armenian bakery next to the Kaiser Permanente. Is there an actual Armenian bakery next to Kaiser Permanente? Or you just want to put one there?

No, no, no. There's one there. And every time I would go for a blood test, it's next to the place, the religion, Scientology. Oh, fun. It's next to the Scientology Center, which is also next to the Kaiser. And then there's this little bakery called Turan Bakery. And every time I would go get blood tests or checkups and stuff, I would go there, I would get a spicy cheese burek and a Sprite

and then go back and get my test results. It was the bomb. Shout out to Armenian bakeries out there. Get that Ajarian, Lahmajun, Soga, what is it? Matnakash? What's Matnakash? It's this other bread. It's got this trippy pattern to it. It's like

almost like a half-raised like focaccia. But the point is that there's always going to be like cultural biases to the type of starch that people eat, you know? I grew up with rice every single day. White rice was the way to live. If your food did not have white rice next to it, you weren't eating food. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense.

And so for me, it was always just like bread because you just like buy it. It was readily available. Sandwiches were half my meals. Yeah. I remember watching this video that was – is just shows you the YouTube rabbitles. I go down. It was like North Koreans try American barbecue for the first time. Wow.

Yeah. And there was a lot of defectors. Yeah, I think so. I mean, yeah, it makes sense. Yeah. But they were in, you know, South Korea at the time. And someone was eating pulled pork, like just, you know, chock full of American barbecue sauce on it. And they were like, this is very delicious.

The meat is very tender. Oh, they're eating a pulled pork sandwich is what it was. And then they were like, but I don't understand why this would be on bread. Like, why would you not put this on rice? This would be so good on a bowl of rice. And I started thinking about that. And I was like, one, I would absolutely just eat. I've been thinking about, you know, like Hawaiian kalua pork on rice. And I'm like, one, I would absolutely just eat. I've been thinking about, you know, like Hawaiian kalua pork on rice.

And I'm like, oh, that makes sense. But through my lens, it's like, no, this this is like bread sandwich. That's the starch that goes with this. Probably because it's loose meat. Yeah. Yeah. I love loose meat in a sandwich. Yeah.

I've realized that about you since I've known you for a few years. You're a loose meat man. I'm a loose meat man. But that's like, you know, my my thing is I just I didn't grow up with rice. There's certainly rice dishes that i like love love um come tom from uh vietnam it's called broken rice oh like broken rice salad or is that fried rice uh i think that's i think you think of the thai dish nam khao tod which is the crispy rice salad i am i love but no this is like it is a it is a steamed rice dish but it's the rice kernels are actually like broken interesting and

it comes from you know uh you mean broken like it's they they but it's the rice kernels are actually like broken. Interesting. And it comes from, you know. What do you mean broken? Like it's they they break it like the people cultivating it break it or. Yeah. So what used to happen is they used to sift the rice when Vietnamese farmers would, you know, sort of like turn in. This is like the farmers like rations. They would sift the rice and then the broken kernels that weren't whole that they didn't

want to sell. They would like, you know, give back to like the peasant farmers. Okay. And so you like, you know, steam these like broken rice kernels. And it's so cool because they kind of get like slightly unevenly cooked. And it's just like it's almost the couscous of rice. Cool. And it's really freaking delicious.

And then you eat it with like the nook mum, which is like, you know, the fish sauce, the lime. Yeah. And so to me, like, and that's something I grew up a lot. It was like my stepmom's favorite dish. She would bring it home all the time with like the fried pork chop and the pickles and all that. And so to me, like, that's a rice dish I really look back on very fondly. But other than that, I'm not the biggest rice guy.

Well, I'm a rice girl through and through. I love rice. You're a rice queen. I love rice. Best rice dish in the world. I just love carb. I'm not going to lie. I love carbohydrates, man.

Give me a piece of bread. Give me a bowl of noodles. Give me a bowl love carb. I'm not going to lie. I love carbohydrates, man. Give me a piece of bread. Give me a bowl of noodles. Give me a bowl of rice. I will enjoy every single one. But I did grow up with rice more than anything else. To you, like, greatest rice dish in the world. If you had to choose one rice dish to eat for the rest of your life. Oh, my gosh.

It's just Persian rice. I'm sorry. Just straight, like, steamed. A bowl of Persian rice with a little bit of the rice reserved mixed in with some saffron that you brewed with a little bit of water. And then you just beautifully seasoned with salt and a little piece of crispy rice. And I'm happy. That's all I need. That's like a comfort, right?

That's all I need. Yeah. Sometimes you can have some fun stuff in there like some dill and lima beans. You can put some, you know. Talking about bagali polo? Bagali polo, yeah. Sometimes you can put some, you know, raisins and candied orange peel and pistachios. Shirin polos?

And then other times. No, it's great. I'm having so much fun. And then other times you can like put like sour cherries. Albaloo polo? Josh, I'm so proud of you. Bro. Oh my gosh.

Honorary Persian man. But yeah, I just love, I mean, Persian rice, just simple white Persian rice with a little bit of saffron on there. I'm just happy the way it is. Noodles, though. My favorite noodle dish of all time, holy cannoli. Is it pho? Is it?

Is pho a noodle dish or a soup? Oh, so pho, like, technically, I believe, refers to banh pho, which is the cut of the actual noodle. But a lot of Vietnamese restaurants don't use that banh pho noodle for their pho. And so it's kind of a toss up. But I do agree. I mean, I love rice noodles. The version, the thing that you have with that bowl of Persian rice is meat. What you do is you crack open the King's Hawaiian rolls.

You rip one out. Nicole, here's the thing. You wrap it in a wet paper towel, and you put it in the microwave for six seconds. And then you pry it open with your fingers, just a little bit of steam comes out, and you take some margarine, can't be butter, can't be butter, no, no, no, gotta be the Imperial Margarine Stick that costs

79 cents, and you shmear some of that in there, it melts to a very weird annatto seed and turmeric, or not turmeric, just probably yellow food dye, tinge color onto the bread and then it's just a warm hug inside your mouth. Sometimes a little bit of bread and butter

just makes your day. You know what I mean? Just makes your day. Sometimes just a little nibble of bread and butter is all you need just to be reminded of, you know, I'm at peace with myself. And that's beautiful. Also, shout out to the guys at Food Beast

who once just snuck in a pack of tortillas into a Korean barbecue restaurant and then griddled them so they could make Korean barbecue tacos because that's like the most genius move of all time. Oh my gosh, Ken, is that like legal? I don't know. I'm so afraid of being yelled at that I would never do it, but I really want to. Okay, hear me out. We do the same thing, but

we take pita bread and then we make shawarma. We make Korean barbecue shawarma. Let's take pita to the Panda Express to see if they can do a little Beijing beef pita bread and then we make shawarma. We make Korean barbecue shawarma. Let's take pita to the Panda Express to see if they can do a little Beijing beef pita sandwich to go. Alright, Nicole, we've heard what you

and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call Opinions Are Like

Casserole! Oh, I put a little bit of casserole in there. Is your nose stuffy? My nose is a little bit stuffy. First up, we got Nathaniel Garrier. Haitian food is underrated. I think if there were more Haitian businesses, it would rise in popularity. I think that is probably very true because I don't know a ton about Haitian food and I wouldn't even like to eat it.

I only know about picklies and that's about it. I know Soup Jumeau to celebrate Haitian Independence Day, I believe. Very nice. For a successful homegrown slave revolt in history. Haitian revolution is a very awesome part of history and Soup Jumeau is a very awesome part of on history. Haitian Revolution is a very awesome part of history and Soup Jumeau is a very awesome part of that history.

I just don't know much about it and I would really like to because I tend to really love Caribbean food but we don't get a ton in LA. We get, you know.

We have Cuban food. We have some Puerto Rican food. Not a ton of Puerto Rican food. Really? Not a ton of Jamaican. There's like a handful

of Jamaican restaurants. Maybe I've had Ecuadorian food. I don't know. Is Ecuador considered Caribbean? No, Ecuador is just straight South American. Shout out to Rashida

from Bridgetown Roti for making delicious Barbadian food. But yeah, I would love to see more Haitian food. Me too. I believe that it is underrated so I wish I would have

eaten more of it. Very underrated. Would love to try more. So if you are from Haiti or you have Haitian ancestry, please open a restaurant in Los Angeles. Send us your Haitian food. I will eat any food that we get sent in the mail.

Don't promise that. I will. I will do it. Okay. Dutch Ninja Panda says carne adobada. How do I say that? Adobada. Carne adobada is the best. Did I say that right? Adobada. The V turns into like a B. Adobada. It's spelled adobada, but it's pronounced like adobada is the best. Did I say that right? Adobada. The V turns into like a B. Adobada.

It's spelled adobada, but it's pronounced like adobada. Carne adobada. I can't say it. I'm sorry. It's not working. My brain can see the shapes of the letters, but I can't say it. Well, it's like the word vato. It's pronounced like vato, right? Adobada.

There it is. Carne adobada is the best Mexican style meat preparation versus carne asada, carnitas, al pastor, and barbacoa. I like it, but I think I'm more of a carne asada girl. It's really interesting because in Mexico and in Mexican-American food, there's so many regional names. There's so many different things. Desabrada. Desabrada? I had Desabrada last night, actually. I like regional names. There's so many different things. Desabrada. Desabrada? I had Desabrada last night, actually.

I like that. You like that? That's good. So Desabrada just means like shredded, right? Mm-hmm. And then a lot of people confuse machaca with like Desabrada, which just means like shredded. Yeah. Because machaca is typically shredded, but machaca is actually like sun-dried beef that

has been kind of like almost ground after like shredded and like ground and then sun-dried and reconstituted. But that like speaks to this point of there are a lot of regional names for a lot of things. Carne adobada can refer to a New Mexican dish. And so I don't know if they're referring to this New Mexican dish, which I believe is a braise. Okay. But the adobada, which literally means like it's the adjective form of like adobo, right? Anything marinated in an adobo.

So it's typically a bright red chili mixture with spices and all that. A lot of people say that al pastor and adobada have like the same sort of roots and the same kind of marinade. And some places in Mexico, they do al pastor that doesn't have pineapple on it. And then, you know, some would say that's just adobada. Either way, you take any meat and you marinate it in chilies and spices. And I am absolutely in. But getting down into like the nitty gritty of the differences to me is really cool. And that's where like the spice of life and cooking comes into play.

Agreed. Yeah. 100%. They're like carne asada just means like every recipe that you see on like Food Network that publishes for carne asada is like put cumin and coriander and all this stuff in the marinade. And carne asada is just like it's grilled coriander and all this stuff in the marinade and carne asada is just like, it's grilled meat. It is meat cooked in fire. Yes, very good. At the Kevin Kevin, my mom taught me to add some fish sauce to my ice cream and it's changed

my world. For the better or for the worse? Yeah, that change is, you have not described either positively or negatively. I love adding fish sauce to almost every savory dish that I make. I have made a fish sauce caramel ice cream, and I did not enjoy it nearly as much as I wish I did because fish sauce caramel on braised catfish or pork is delicious. Ice cream, it was not my jam. I don't like miso ice cream either.

A lot of people have been doing that. It's like a cool, funky thing. I've never had miso ice cream, but I've had mis have been doing that. It's like a cool, funky thing. I've never had miso ice cream, but I've had miso in pastries and desserts before, and it's really good. Something about a thought of fish sauce and ice cream makes me unhappy. It's just that umami and sweet

I don't love. I love salty sweet. No, I love umami and sweet, but it's a funk. What sweet umami things do you like? Well, miso and chocolate chip cookies is good. You do love that? Yeah, I do. I like chili crisp and ice cream. Lao Gan Ma, Sichuan chili crisp is good.

But to me, that's like... That's not umami, though, really. It's not umami. Yeah, you get like... I love because you get the toasted chilies and you get the peanut in there. There'll typically be some garlic, which is like cool. But like that works for me. What?

Oh, because I said get the nut. Oh, my God my god Nicole grow up we're talking about actual nuts we're talking about legumes sorry I'm 12 anyways you get the nut

and the cream and it's delightful go on okay real Steve Matt barbecue kebabs are a waste of time and energy

if you put the protein and veggie on the same skewer they cook unevenly and suck separating the proteins and veggies on different skewers helps things cook evenly but by then what's the point just grill a protein and grill a veggie and save yourself the prep time the shish kebab council would like a word uh you have a point and i understand that point completely uh just uh just be chill man like be cool brother be cool yeah be cool bro

i mean like yeah you make a lot of sense but i'm probably i don't even like shish kebabs i don't either i yeah are they even common in in actual like middle eastern food i don't know i've never gone to i mean i i get kebab a lot from persian restaurants and i almost never see the veggies cooked with the meat on the skewers. Yeah, I don't think they do it a lot in, like, Persian cookery. Probably in Lebanese cookery, they might add some onions, some red peppers. Yeah. But, like, I don't know.

Like, I think it's a very, like, Anglicized skewer. Yeah, it's like a thing that you would, I'm imagining, like, 80s movies where the dad's grilling in the backyard. He's like, honey, we got shish kebabs tonight. And, you know, he's got some overcooked steak with some undercooked bell pepper on it. Yeah. I mean. I think there is a valid criticism here.

But also, if you craft it properly, because I've done it at home because it's, you know, it looks kind of cool. And it's easy. And I've done it for meal prep. And it's nice to just kind of throw a stick in my bag. Yeah. But if you use like chicken thigh and then, you know, meats like onion and bell pepper that won't like overcook. Yeah. That is really delightful because chicken thighs, you can't overcook a chicken thigh.

I like firmly believe in this. You can certainly burn it. But chicken thighs are done at 160 degrees. Someone from America's Test Kitchen did this test, found out they actually taste better at about 195 degrees when the protein seizes up more. I've had some kind of like chicken thighs that I've temp checked at like 165 and eaten and they're like, yeah, it's just. It's all that tissue, yeah. Yeah. And so you get that like, you know, internal sort of temp up to break down the connective tissues.

So chicken thigh really works. But if you are someone who like insists on medium rare meat, which we've talked about this before, I mess with well-done beef, especially something like tenderloin. Sometimes, yeah. It's really delightful. So you can do that. But I think you have a shred of a point there. Yeah. At KellenHow99, dipping cucumbers in straight up mayo is bomb.

Yes, sir. I've never done that before. Yes, sir. I don't do that. I might never done that before. Yes, sir. I don't do that. I might never do that. If you would dip cucumbers in cream cheese or dip it in like ranch, mayonnaise is 90% to ranch. But it's boring. It's like five seconds to Mars. No.

90% to ranch. 30 seconds to Mars. What's five seconds? Five seconds of summer. Yeah. But Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars. I can't.

I don't know. Mayo's boring. I need something else with the mayo. Put some cracked black pepper in the mayo, maybe. Then we can talk. Then we can talk. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Spicy mayo. I'll dip my cucumbers in spicy mayo. I don't care. It's funny what a couple drops of hot sauce do to your perception of a food. Very true. It makes it pink. I like pink. Dip it in pink.

Okay. And Hellorella says, tomatoes don't belong on a burger. They're slimy, raw, and slide it on and just make the experience weird. Okay, so I agree sometimes. If your burger is a wet-ass burger, which it probably is if I'm making it, don't put the tomato. It's going to be too wet. It's going to be too sloppy.

Don't do it. If it's a dry burger, like a cookout burger. Even like In-N-Out, I'm making it don't put the tomato it's gonna be too wet it's gonna be too sloppy don't do it if it's a dry burger like a cookout burger like even like In-N-Out I'm thinking right like I mean In-N-Out In-N-Out sometimes I don't do tomato sometimes I do

it depends on my mood yeah I'm just thinking like a thin enough patty to where it's not gonna bleed a bunch of juice yeah if it's a cookout burger

if it's like a homemade burger yeah it's fine you can totally like put a tomato on it but typically I don't know if you realize this but during the burger

the burger myths episode that we worked on I'm familiar yes I didn't put a tomato on it but typically I don't know if you realize this but during the burger the burger myths episode that we worked on I'm familiar yes I didn't put a tomato on it because I didn't want it really? I didn't want it

I didn't need it they could have thrown off the whole science experiment because me here in Mythical Kitchen are committed to science well you're the one who said we should do it

by preference we even made two different burger sauces oh yeah that's right that's right that's right I maybe agree with this. I don't want to take the essentialist stance that say they don't belong in a burger.

More often than not, I have been burned by raw tomatoes on burgers because they make things slide around. And I think that is true. And also they add more juice to the equation where the juice coefficient, Maggie, is too high. Too high of a juice coefficient, you're going to get slidage on that burger. it's too high too high of a juice coefficient you're gonna get slide-age on that burger so what I do

because I love tomato flavor is I roast my tomatoes until they lose all that moisture and then they just not to the point of like a sun-dried tomato but to like lose

a lot of that moisture and they become jammy and almost kind of like a condiment that you can kind of spread and as you're saying Josh why don't you put ketchup on it

I think I already did I already did I did my own ketchup bingo yeah roasted tomatoes on a burger get it at ladybird2223 peanut butter is tastier I already did. I already did. I did my own ketchup. Bingo. Yeah. Roasted tomatoes on a burger. Get it. At Ladybird2223, peanut butter is tastier and more versatile than Nutella.

You are preaching to the choir. Josh, you need to stop. I fully agree. Stop with the burner accounts. I didn't say anything for a few weeks. I have up to 15 burner accounts that I use to advance various political agendas in small microstates. Oh, my God. I saw a document small microstates. Oh, my God. I saw a microstate.

I saw a document about microstates. Oh, did you? That's cool. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I'm trying to foment revolution in Tuvalu. Oh, my God. I know all about Tuvalu. I know all about Tuvalu.

It's sinking. Tuvalu is sinking. It's actually really sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Climate change is real. Tuvalu is sinking, and it's all because of the ice caps. But, okay, the only reason— Okay, I agree that it's more versatile,

but you haven't lived until you've come home from school and you told your mom you got an A on a math test and she gave you a spoonful of Nutella as a reward. You haven't lived until you've tasted sweet, sweet success. I love how there's something so baseline and animalistic about that. It's not like she was like, oh, we're going to go out and get your favorite meal. It was like, you did good. Here is a spoonful of sweet.

Here's just a spoon of sweet in your mouth because Nicole Good, she gets sweet. It's like how you train a dog. And look at you. You're successful now. You host a podcast. Good job, Shala. Good job. You raised a good one with your Nutella bribery.

It worked. All right. At MelodyPond83, gluten-free pretzels are better than regular ones because they crunchier. Stop. I've had gluten-free pretzels and they are quite crunchy. I don't know if I can tell the difference. I've never done a test side by side. Me neither.

But that might be the only case in which a gluten-free thing... Actually, some gluten-free cakes are really nice. I was going to say gluten-free cookies are sometimes really good. If you're a Tate's Cookies person, and if you like thin, crispy cookies, try a gluten-free cookie. Yeah, because you don't need gluten. Gluten obviously helps baked goods rise and stuff.

It makes it like more delicious. But like it's certainly more important for like bread, dough. And so something like a pretzel, like if you're not trying to get that chewy and you just want it crunchy, yeah, gluten-free people, have one with the pretzels. The one joy in your life.

The one joy. Let it be pretzels. Okay, last one of the day. Daniel Wen129794 says, is pizza an open-faced sandwich? One, two, three. Nah. Wait, did you say yeah?

Oh my god, no it's not. Of course it's not. You ever folded a pizza? Yeah, but that's not a sandwich because the pizza dough is cooked separately. Says who? the pizza dough is cooked separately. Says who? The pizza dough is cooked separately? No, I'm saying, no, sorry, the pizza dough is not cooked separately. I'm saying what sandwich exists where the bread is simultaneously cooked with the toppings?

It's not a sandwich. It's a flatbread. A flatbread is its own categorization. This one! This one! Brr! And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the mythical kitchen We got new episodes for you every Wednesday

If you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles You can hit us up on Twitter at mythical chef or and hendy's auto with a hashtag opinion casserole and for more mathematical catch And check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week And of course if you want to share pictures of your dishes hit us up on Instagram at me ethical kitchen And if you want to share pictures of your feet hit us us up at MythicalChefJohn. I'm just kidding. That's a terrible joke. We'll see you next time.