A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Is A Corn Dog A Beef Wellington?

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

Today, Josh and Nicole discuss the common man's wellington also known as a corndog! If hotdogs are sandwiches, are corndogs a beef wellington? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. It's corn! A big lump with knobs! Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know what you're doing. It has a juice! I'm sorry, I'm very confused. This is a podcast about corn dogs and beef wellingtons? What, you want me to do it like in a British accent, like Gordon Ramsay or something? What do you want from me? Do you have that in your bag? Do you have the range? It's corn! A big lump with knobs! It has a juice!

Pretty good. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we take on the world's biggest internet debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaydi, I guess. And Nicole. So much vigor. I wasn't expecting that much vigor. I came in with both vim and vigor today and we didn't have any diet Red Bulls in the fridge and so I'm running off of pure internal vim. Is vim anger? I don't know what vim is. Vim is one of those words that we don't use anymore

except when coupled with vigor and only in like an ironic old-timey way. Vim energy and enthusiasm well i feel like that's what vigor means i feel like vim and vigor is not redundant vigor means physical strength and good health interesting i am vigorous if nothing else um nicole we have a very special podcast today because oh my gosh why the thing happened the thing happened in nature that sometimes happens where people send us a meme so many times on instagram that we are forced to respond to it, even though we vitriolically do not want to. It's ridiculous. And this has now happened. So thank you to everybody who bothered us on Twitter, on Instagram, on Reddit threads.

We're here now. With an infographic that is titled The Wellington Family. Correct. And we now need to respond to this. So we'll put it up on the screen for y'all who are watching on YouTube. If you're not watching on YouTube, we will just describe this to you. The Wellington family. It is the cool uncle slash aunt of the Wellington family. And then you have Pop Tarts, which is the vegetarian of the Wellington family, Nicole. And then you have Hot Pockets, which are the hipster of the Wellington family. And then finally, we have corn dogs, the black sheep of

the Wellington family, typically seen at children's parties trying to fit in. Might be a serial killer. Invented in 1946, according to this infographic. So, today we must answer, are corn dogs a beef Wellington? So, is this like,

we're like, basically, is it called genealogists? Are we genealogists today? Are we like Or like taxonomists? Are we tax I guess if this is a family tree Yeah This is a genealogical

So we're doctors today We're basically doctors Our parents can finally be proud Oh my gosh Which means my parents are alive again Which is great Oh no they're dead I'm sorry

They're so dead Mine are gonna be proud of both of us though That's great I love it Thank you to Morris and Chella No Corndog Okay We have to break down What a beef Wellington is It's so dead. Mine are going to be proud of both of us, though. That's great. I love it. Thank you to Morris and Chella. No, corndog. Okay, we have to break down what a beef wellington is.

Do you have any thoughts initially on whether a corndog is or is not a beef wellington? Well, if this was Nicole from 200 podcasts before, she would say, absolutely not. That's crazy. But now my mind's been opened up to so many possibilities. We're like. So many decisions I can make. If we were like members of a hard progressive rock band in 1963, and they did, like if we're like a Robbie Krieger of the Doors, say, right? They just did so many substances throughout their peak years.

Okay. Right? That 20 years after, their brains are just all turned to mush and they've just fully opened to the world. Like Ozzy Osbourne. It's whatever, man. We're like Ozzy, yeah. Exactly. That's like us now, three years into this podcast. We're just like, is anything anything?

Is the sun raisin bran? Megan's food. All I see is food. This camera, the cameras are food. I can eat this microphone. It's cotton candy. Why is this not cotton candy? Oh, man. There is some weird validity to this. Yes.

There's some weird validity to it. I agree. I agree. And to get. To the bottom of it. To get to the bottom of it, we have to talk about what exactly a Beef Wellington is. So describe to people like the cooking process behind a Beef Wellington,

what it actually is. Well, when I think of Beef Wellington, so you take a big fillet of beef. Fillet. A fillet. A fillet. A fillet. A fillet of beef. Yeah, so basically it's a tenderloin

and then you cut off a manageable piece. I like to think of it like it can be anywhere from the size of your hand to the size of like honestly your forearm. And then you sear it. And then once you sear it, you put a bunch of mustard on it. And then you make a,

what is it called when you chop up the mushrooms? A duxelle. You make a really fine mushroom dux when you chop up the mushrooms? A duxelle. You make a really fine mushroom duxelle which is a bunch of chopped up mushrooms. It's a mushroom mush. Yeah you just cook down into like a mush and then you can use like some wine to like deglaze or whatever and then you take prosciutto and then you take puff pastry. Some people use ham I think. Is that false?

I don't know. Prosciutto wouldn't make sense because it's Italian. This dish was invented like in 1815. What do people use if they don't use prosciutto? Ham right? I don't know. Prosciutto wouldn't make sense because it's Italian. This dish was invented like in 1815. I don't know, like a ham, right? Like, I don't know. So maybe some sort of ham, some sort of pork. Maybe people didn't use ham back in the day. Maybe that wasn't even traditional.

Maybe some sort of pork product. Maybe it's just prosciutto is like a neologism. Possibly. Okay, and then you would wrap it, and then you would bake it, and then you would slice it, and hopefully you would have a nice medium-rare center. Yeah. And then serve it with a nice little sauce

of sorts, a beef sauce. It's a very fussy dish. So fussy. Which is like one of the reasons people have made it into a celebratory dish,

right? Especially in America. Fancy people. If one of the only times I've had like homemade beef wellington, I was going, it was when I was with my ex

and we flew to her like weirdly posh family who lived in like upstate New York in a very not posh area. But one was dating a very posh man from, like, Australia. Interesting. And he was even so posh that he was a vegan, but he wanted all the posh people to feel posh, so we made everybody Beef Wellington. And actually, Andrew, if you're listening, you did really well, and it was a very well-done Beef Wellington. But that was, like, the first time I'd ever had it, like, cooked at home and not at a restaurant that was trying to do something very fancy.

According to legend, this is another one of those food legends that is probably not true, but it follows so many of the similar legends, even down to like the michelada or mayonnaise, right? They say it was to celebrate the winning of a battle. And so this was the... Oh, okay. Yeah, according to the fact sheet, 1815,

it was in celebration of the first Duke of Wellington, Arthur Wellesley, and his victory at the Battle of Waterloo. Cool. I believe against the French on June 18th, 1815. And so they won the battle, went to a chef, went, ah, make me something to commemorate this. And then all the chef did was he made a French dish that already existed called filet de boeuf en croûte or filet of beef en croûte, which means wrapped in typically like a puff

pastry. Yeah. We made a lot of, uh, what did we make? We made a lot of head cheese en croûte or some sort of like. Why? I don't know. Why head cheese en croûte? Head cheese en croûte or it was like.

Do people know what head cheese is? You should tell people what head cheese is. It's just a bunch of like so basically it's gelatinized pork parts And the gelatin comes from boiling

a whole pork head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically it's like sauce. Have you ever had sauce from Haiti? Sauce? No, I never had

I think it's pronounced sauce. Sauce? Sauce? Sauce? I don't know. So basically you take a whole pig's head

and then you you have like all the little pig bits in there and it's like a very, very delicious cold serving of like soup. But whenever you gelatinize it, you can cut it into like little like blocks. Yeah, you slice it.

Yeah, yeah. Like cheese. Hence the name head cheese. Cheese made from a head. Yeah. But it's not cheese. I've mostly eaten a lot of Vietnamese head cheese, which is like very heavy on the gelatin. And you put it in like bun mee.

But I have had some like really good head cheese. I had this one. I had a head cheese on crud dish. You're right. But it was fried. It was a fried. I had a fried head cheese dish once. Oh, cool.

The point is when we talk about Wellington. We got distracted again being food people. Brain don't work too good no more. Brain mush. Like Robbie Krieger, we have broken through the doors of perception. Pate en croute. That's what it was called.

Pate en croute. That's what it was called in school. And then you would like, you would literally, it was so much fun. You would first bake the croute and then partially, and then you would- Croute means crust, by the way.

That's like what croute means. And then you would fill it with stuff and then you would bake it again and then you would fill it with gelatin again. It was so involved. Oh yeah. All of these en croute things, so involved.

No, they're super hard to make and it makes sense that a lot of this stuff would have come from like western europe in this age where you had all these royals and these demi royals who had chefs and stuff right like uh demi royals i don't know what do they call like like demigods like the minor there's also like oh i'm the duke of lily sasek's and i do my silly little dance. You know what I mean? Lily Sussex. I don't know. They have all these little dukes and duchesses and, like, frog towns and whatever. I don't know what the hell they are, dude. Down with the monarchy.

There is no king except King Lud. That's what the hell I believe, Nicole. Do I need to Google that for later? What is it? Down with all kings except King Lud. It was a rallying cry of the Luddite movement, which was not really just an anti-technological movement,

but more of a pro-labor movement, if anything, neither here nor there. What I'm saying is, a beef Wellington, when you talk about the Wellington family, it's not the Wellington family.

You need to go up a step. You need to travel from like the kingdom to the phylum or whichever one's bigger. Okay. You need to go bigger. Okay.

Right? From Wellington. Because Wellington is just, it's filet en croute, right? It is just en croute. Yes. En croute literally means in crust. A pie is something that is in a crust, right? That is a common thing.

You would wrap any sort of meat in crust and bake it. That is called a pie. Or an empanada. Empanar means to wrap in bread. That's what the hell we're talking about here. We're talking about empanadas. We're talking about pies. Empanada?

Pan? Bread? You? So, think about en meaning like to like enrobe, to envelop, to do an action to. Josh, you just blew my mind. Empanar means to wrap in bread, right? It literally means like to breadify. Oh, my God.

Empanada, right? Empanada. Oh, my gosh. That's what I'm saying, though. So, a beef wellington, it's just an empanada. It's a pie. Okay. That's what I'm saying though. So a beef Wellington, it's just an empanada. It's a pie. Okay.

That's what we're talking about here. Out of respect for you, I have pulled up, I've pulled up the taxonomy classification. Yes, yes, yes. So it's domain, kingdom. Wait, what's a domain? Like what domain are we?

Can I just do what I was going to do before you interrupt me? Okay. So domain, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. Get that. Okay. Let's try and let's see how smart Nicole and I are. Species.

Homo erectus. Homo sapien. Homo sapien. We are Homo erectus. Homo sapien. Homo sapien. We are Homo sapiens. Homo erectus is our cousin, and then Homo habilis is also our cousin. I was literally just like, I'm pretty erect, like upright.

Like I walk. Like I walk. It's not like that. Okay, we're Homo sapiens, and then what's above that? What's the genus or whatever? Of humans? Primate.

Okay. Maggie, can you look up all the answers to this to know how dumb we are okay we're primates right homo well okay so oh homo sapien yeah then we're just homos and then after that we're we're i'm gonna go primate human order no no no or is it mammal? No, we're primates. Human taxonomy. Just press human taxonomy really quick. And then after primates, we're mammals. Okay, here we got it. Because we don't lay eggs. Okay, we are genus homo.

We are family homonymy. Hominidae? Hominidae. Hominidae. We're ad homonyms. Josh? Suborder. Hepatitis.

Order. Okay, so we're primates. And then we're mammals. And then we're cordata, which means we have a spine. And then we're... And then we're animals. Yeah. And then we're...

And then when I think domain has to do with... Like godaddy.com, you can get your domain name. It has to do with cell structure. So like prokaryotes versus eukaryotes oh no yeah so i believe we are eukaryotes i am the eucharist um what we're saying i hate this you got it i love this podcast so much you gotta go up to like the genus or whatever i didn't learn anything from what we just went through and the gen heck, man? And the genus is pie, right? And then, or the class, the phylum, whatever. The thing above Wellington that it's

an umbrella. It's pie and then beef Wellington is a specific type of pie in the same way. Beef Wellington is a pie? Correct. It's an empanada. It's something wrapped in crust. It's something wrapped in crust and then baked. Okay, I'll hear you out. Right? And then cooked. Or not even baked because you can fry a pie, certainly, and that's still a pie.

Yes. So a McDonald's apple pie. Hand pie. Hand pie. that's still a pie. Yes. So a McDonald's apple pie. Hand pie. Hand pie. A hand pie. Okay. Right? So a McDonald's apple pie is in the same species or genus as a Beef Wellington. Okay. Right? We can agree on that? I can agree with that. I can agree with that.

But now the corn dog throws us for a bit of a loop, because I agree. I agree that a Hot Pocket is also a pie. Right? It's not a sandwich. Yeah, it's a hand pie. It's a hand pie, right? So we're looking at this thing. I believe a pig in Hot Pocket is also a pie, right? It's not a sandwich. Yeah, it's a hand pie. It's a hand pie, right? So we're looking at this thing. I believe a pig in a blanket is also a pie. See, I can't. I can't. Why?

I can't. It's a hand pie. Why is it not a pie? I just can't. I just can't. What is it? I don't know. Well, tell me. You have to tell me. I'm not ready yet to answer. Because it's the same thing.

Nicole, it is the same thing as a Beef Wellington, a pig in a blanket. I understand that it's not necessarily enclosed all the way, but neither is like an open tart, and that's still probably a pie, right? So it's like the... It's like, what's that thing in your stomach that's not a baby yet? Oh, a zygote. It's like a zygote. Maggie, did I know science?

Maggie does computer science. That's science. What's a zygote what's yeah this is like if you can hit zygote or zygotes on triple word score in Scrabble

get that 50 point bump wow especially if you hit Z on like a double letter hitting on the triple word that's huge so I think so I think pigs in a blanket

is like the zygote of zygote of of the family yeah but then that means it's still within the same species. We can agree with that. But you know what I don't agree with

in this Pop-Tart? Pop-Tart shouldn't even exist. It should be a toaster strudel. Well, I think they're the same. I think a Pop-Tart... They are not the same, Josh. I think they're of the same species. Have we done that podcast yet?

Have we done that yet? Have we done that yet? Surely we have. Surely we have. If you haven't done that before, sorry we're leaning on you so much, Maggie. We just really want you to feel included and like loved

and like feel like, you know, you're part of the family. Okay, so we need to do that next week. Yeah. Or something. Yeah, yeah, Toaster Strudels. Okay, Toaster Strudels are way better. Well,

we'll talk about it on the pod. But they're the same thing if you, oh, we did our Pop-Tarts Ravioli, yeah. Yeah, but that's, well, we got into the etymology of like ravioli. It's the same thing. Ravioli means just to wrap in...

Is ravioli also in this too now? No, because I believe dumplings are different than a pie. Okay. Right? Well, how can you say that if you think of pigs in a blanket? Isn't that just like a dumpling?

No, I think a dumpling. No, because you can have leavened dough dumplings. Dumplings are also a pie. But okay, corn dogs. Can I just say, I might be in like the minority, but I hate corn dogs. Yeah, let's talk about corn dogs too. I despise corn dogs. I 99 times out of 100 would rather have a hot dog in a nice bun than a corn dog. Yes, yes, yes.

Even a bad bun. I don't care. Same. However, there are some corn dogs, and there's only one corn dog that I'm really thinking of, and that is Disneyland's corn dog. Oh. It's hand-battered in front of you. It is gigantic.

It is the hardest shattering crisp and crunch, and it is a deep, dense crunch on this corn dog that I really, really love but the hot dog itself is really well spiced um my biggest problem with corn dogs is that you're taking a somewhat sweet batter right the corn meal is very sweet and hot dogs to me don't have the spice to match up to a sweetness right um You can relish in ketchup. That's sweet on a hot dog, but those still have to me like salt.

Well, I've had the pickle dog, actually. The day that I got my marriage license is the day that David and I went to Disney, downtown Disney, not real Disneyland, to celebrate. And we had a pickle dog

to celebrate our union. And it was good. Tell people about the pickle dog, right? Because that's a term that most people don't use. So the pickle dog is a Disney exclusive. It's where you take a hot dog

and you shove it in a pickle. And then you take all that and you deep fry it with that corn dog batter. And then there's a little bit of like crusty stuff on the outside. And then they give you peanut butter on the side. Jesus Christ. Was it actually good? It was okay. It was good.

The pickle juice was really hot and it burned my mouth. And it got down to my elbows and it really burned me. But whatever. But no, like that I like more than a regular corn dog. Yeah. I think it's because what you're saying is there's not enough flavor. But with the hot pickle juice that's a little bit sweet, a little bit acidic, a little bit of everything, salty, it like makes sense. But a standalone, I can't do.

I can't do. But if you were to create like – so for me, the ideal situation of a corn dog would be to take a hot link. Like we're talking about like a Texas Red Hot. Okay. You know? That sounds good, and then take that. But not only like my ideal, if you take like a full, say like a bratwurst, like a thick coarse ground sausage with a natural animal casing on it and were to cook that and then deep fry it on a stick, it'd be too much. The casing would be instructive. It wouldn't serve its purpose. So what you would need to do is you would need to take a Texas red hot mix and you would need to put that into a smaller synthetic casing and then just make an incredibly spiced hot dog to then match up to the sweetness of the corn dog batter.

Okay. To me, that's the only way this works. I don't think it works anyway. I think corn bread should be corn bread and should be treated with respect. Interesting. I don't like the combination of it at all unless it has pickles in it maybe the problem is just that I made a corn dog thing that was really good in here once

do you remember what it was? the kamja hot dog? no, the Korean corn dogs are fun, but Korean corn dogs are not corn it's actually a yeasted dough which makes more sense that I love the Korean corn dogs, they have it down to science and it's done perfectly.

That is the most perfect hot dog on a stick execution. I did a thing where it was our Bisquick battle. I made these like mini corn dog. They were like hush puppies but I put crab

and a bunch of scallion in an old bay. That was so long ago. I know. We were babes back then. That was still one of the better things that I think we've made in here. Oh my god.

What was that? Two and a half, It was probably about three years ago at this point. It feels like yesterday but also like a million years ago. I remember because I took the cornmeal

and I didn't make it sweet. There's no reason that it has to be sweet, right? I took the cornmeal, made it super savory with a bunch of like scallion and crab meat which is really dumb

and then made that a wet batter and then put little smokies which are very heavily spiced. Yeah, that was good. Into that deep fried it. That's really good. So corn dogs don't have to be bad.

And again, I'll like eat a corn dog gladly. You know, I just like most of them that we eat are bad. You get the pre-frozen ones. Yeah. They're the bottom tier of frozen. I'd rather have almost any other frozen appetizer. Like see, where else are people getting? Do people go to the state fair all the time?

Dude, yeah. Okay. Shut up. There's literally, Nicole, there's literally a show right now. What the hell is it on? It was on my Hulu, but I don't know what network, yeah. Okay. Shut up. There's literally, Nicole, there's literally a show right now. What the hell is it on? It was on my Hulu, but I don't know what network produced it. Okay. But it was about like, you know, they have like Storage Wars and I don't know, coming

off all that Dog the Bounty Hunter, Michigan. They have that, but for like state fair stand at the Texas State Fair. Some places do like $3 million in business in like a month span. I know, but I'm talking about the average person. How often does the average person eat a corn dog? It doesn't matter how often. It exists and they're moving product at the first. That's all it matters.

I would say in America, people probably eat more corn dogs than they do Beef Wellingtons. Oh yeah, no, you're absolutely correct. Like in America, that makes sense. I mean, yeah, how often do we eat Beef Wellington? Especially outside of the show. We made it for the show recently and it was just like, it was fun and it was good. It was just a labor of love. But yeah, I'm probably eating a wellington once every five years.

That's true. You know? That's true. And even then I'd probably rather just have like a well-cooked steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like a prime rib. Fair, fair, fair. You know what I mean?

Fair. So we're talking about aberrations here, but the point is we have to talk about it. So do you think a corn dog could reasonably be considered a pie? I don't wanna. We look at Beef Wellington, Pigs in a Blanket, Pop-Tart, Hot Pocket. Those all have something in common, which is a pre-cooked filling wrapped in dough and baked. But this one has a stick.

The stick is a complete outlier. Not only the stick, it's a wet batter and it's fried. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so many things. There's so many things.

I think the wet batter makes it completely unique from a beef Wellington. Corn dogs are adopted. Corn dogs are adopted, right? Which doesn't mean that you love them any less. Of course not.

Well, I do because I just don't like them. Oh, I thought you meant adopted kids. Oh, no. I love... Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me? I love adopted kids. More than bio kids? I just love kids. I just love children in general.

I hate all children equally. You're all covered in snot and you're coming up and trying to touch me. Why do you pull on the legs of my pants? Don't do that. One time I was at the farm for my birthday and David and I were kissing and then a little kid came up to us and said, you guys are gross. So that made me hate kids a little bit.

But no, I love kids. I think the corndog is adopted and has been welcomed into the family of Beef Wellingtons. No, you don't agree? I have an upsetting opinion. I'm ready. The corndog is a tamal. F off. What? No, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Think about it corndog is a tamal. F off. What?

No, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Think about it. Think about it. You need to F off. It's like a loose corn-based batter that's cooked around a central filling. You're cooked around a central filling. Am I crazy?

Am I crazy here? Yeah. A corndog shares so many more similarities to a tamal than a wellington. I disagree. I think the corn dog is more related to fried catfish than it is to tamale. I like how I looked at the graphic to see what a corn dog is. Fried catfish, what is that?

You gotta admit, fried catfish in a cornmeal batter is more closely related to the corn dog. But fried catfish isn't typically made with like a wet cornmeal batter, right? Fried catfish- Doesn't matter. What do you mean doesn't matter? You're, yeah, you're wet, dry dredging it in dry cornmeal. This is like a prepared- Josh, if we, if we-

If you- No. Josh, imagine, imagine, imagine, imagine you have, you're sitting at a booth. You're sitting at a booth. You're sitting at a booth. You're sitting at a booth. You have a corn dog in the middle. You have fried catfish on the right. You got tamale on the left.

The world's worst restaurant. They're bleeding cash. They're like, well, our tamale, corn dog, and catfish concept is a surefire hit. And then you tell the average person to say, put the thing in the middle next to the thing that it is most closely related to. Do you really think people would put it next to a tamale? Alexei de Tocqueville. Nicole, Alexei de Tocqueville spoke of...

No, he's like a political philosopher from the 1700s. Oh, of course I know who that is. Alexei de Tocqueville referenced the tyranny of the majority, right? And that they're susceptible to demagoguery. Basically, the average person... Are you calling me a demagogue? Basically, yes. That's a terrible rhetorical place.

Are you calling me a demagogue? You're the demagogue, Josh. Basically, the average person is too stupid to govern themselves, so they need somebody smarter to be able to govern them. And that's how it sort of represents democracy. And is that you? Yes, yes.

Nicole, we are cultural arbiters. Like, despite the odds, we have like 160 episodes of a podcast that garner a lot of people to listen to us as authorities. What happens whenever, what did you call us? Demagogues? No, no, the other thing. Corndogs? No, no.

You call us cultural arbiters? Cultural arbiters, yeah. What happens when the cultural arbiters can't see eye to eye? Then what do the people do? What do you do at home? Well, I mean, it happens a lot. Ebert and Roper. Siskel and Ebert.

Siskel, Siskel. Are they all dead? Yeah, I think so. One of them has like jaw cancer. That was Ebert. That was Roper. Are you sure? No, I feel like it was Ebert.

There's Siskel. Siskel's dead. Maggie, Siskel's dead. Siskel's dead. Siskel's dead. And Ebert. Ebert's dead? But Roper. What about Roper? Do you think Roper is dead? Damn, Siskel's dead. Maggie, Siskel's dead? Siskel's dead. Siskel's dead. And Ebert. Ebert's dead? But Robert...

What about Roper? Do you see if Robert is dead? Damn, Siskel and... Okay, so sometimes... And we've been living fine. They're all dead? No, that's a different person. Okay, point is, sometimes...

What happens whenever the authorities don't agree? Then what do we do? Do we just... No, you write a dissent. No, do we just like separate and then go in our different ways? it's important. So like Supreme court, right?

You can write, you can write a dissenting opinion. Isn't that how it works? Like when, when like the Supreme court really bungles something and one of the justices feels that they really bungled it. They just like write a strongly worded letter. They write a dissenting opinion.

You can, we can each write a dissenting opinion here. Roper's alive. Oh, great. Roper, come on the show. Please tell Andy Ebert about that, though. Yes, yes. That was like when I found out that the drummer for Rush, Neil Peart, died. What celebrity death

made you cry the hardest? I've never cried at a celebrity death, but the one that hit me really hard, the only one that hit me really hard was Anthony Bourdain. For me, it was Jack Ritter. Is that his name? John Ritter? John Ritter.

Wow, you're really emotionally connected. John Ritter from Three's Company? Yeah. Cried my eyes out. Why? I mean, you're entitled to your emotions. Come on, knock on our door. Did you watch a lot of Three's Company?

Yeah, of course. I grew up watching Three's Company. Did you not? No. Maggie, did you grow up watching Three's Company with Did you know? No, I don't know. Maggie, did you grow up watching Three's Company with John Ritter? Dude, I don't know. My parents wanted me to connect.

So like in the olden times, they wish they were a part of, I don't know. Corn dogs. Corn dogs. Not Beef Wellingtons. They are not related. They are adopted, but they have been welcomed into the family because it is right to be inclusive and to love everyone equally. Hear me out. What? No, that's a pipe be inclusive and to love everyone equally. Hear me out. What?

No, that's a pipe dream. Nobody loves their kids equally. If one of my kids, I'm absolutely going to have a favorite. Am I ever going to tell them they're my favorite? Oh my God. Are you kidding me? Okay, who do your parents like more, you or your brother? You know.

Oh my gosh, totally my sister. Oh, they like your sister more? But that's what I'm saying. They had a favorite. It was very clear. I was the favorite of my parents. You know, the point is that you're living in a pipe dream. You're living in a world that is never actually going to come to fruition.

Well, Josh, this isn't real. This is just a graphic. It has been manifest real. It's like the way that I don't know if there is an actual deity called God, but I know that every time I sneeze, I say, God bless you. And so that makes it real, right? You say God bless you? I don't say God. There's a silent God

bless you. Or I say God willing. I say inshallah. Inshallah, right? That means that I have presupposed God's existence in some way because I have made manifest via my sort of thoughts and actions. Okay. I think that's the same thing with this. It has now been put out into the world that there is something called the Wellington family and there are aunts and uncles in it. And so now we need to parse through it. I'm telling you.

So corndog is the black sheep of the Wellington family. Yeah. It's the black sheep because it's adopted. And it was made to feel as if it was a black sheep. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. The whole Wellington family, they're all, you know, blonde hair, blue-green eyes, corndog coming in. They're, you know, got jet black jet black hair brown eyes wondering what the hell happened

you know so they yeah there are phenotypic differences between a corn dog and a wellington but we still welcome them we still welcome them because they deserve

to feel welcomed we love them and they're delicious in their own right you hate them not my favorite not my favorite yeah

but that's okay you don't like them and you don't love them but you will treat them with respect always that sounds terrible what do you want me

to say this analogy is all this analogy i don't like corn dogs i don't know do i have to like them because they're part of a certain family do i have to allow myself to be less than just so i can be inclusive i don't know what you want me to say right now josh what's like a worse product in the freezer aisle than a corn dog? Taquitos. You think taquitos? Dude, frozen taquitos are great. What? I mean, they're not like good,

but it's like a, it's just a toasted corn tortilla filled with like a spiced goo that you can dip in other sauces. I don't care for taquitos. You would rather, no, get the hell out of here. You would rather have like

a Foster Farms turkey corn dog than a Jose Olay taquito. I would rather have, I would rather have a taquito be in this graphic. Ohog. A Jose Olay taquito. I would rather have a taquito be in this graphic. Oh, a taquito is a much better Wellington than a corndog. A taquito belongs there in a corndog. A corndog can come to the party. Sure.

But the taquito is the biological son that disowned the family. Fair. Okay. They taught English in Korea for three, four years. And then they sort of came back and they were like, hey, I realize that family's really important to me. I was very lonely

out there by myself. So that's corn dogs? No, that's taquitos. Oh, that's taquitos. A taquito is a Wellington. A taquito is an empanada. It's not sealed off, but... It still serves its purpose. I actually... God, what...

I was watching a cooking show and somebody... There was a Mexican chef and they made an empanada, but they were making a Oaxacan empanada. Would you have ever had a Oaxacan empanada?

Yes, I have. One of my favorite dishes. Yes, I have. Wait, do you have it at Monte Alban? Monte Alban! Yeah. Hell yes. Underrated Oaxacan restaurant

on the west side of LA. So good. They had an empanada with mole amarillo, the yellow mole. That's good. And it's not like an Argentinian empanada

that we would think of where it's like a crust that is baked, but it's just a big handmade corn tortilla. Freaking delicious. And they just put a lot of just stewed chicken

with yellow mole and they just flap it over and kind of mash it a little bit and it all kind of steams together.ed chicken with yellow mole and they just flap it over and kind of mash it a little bit and it all kind of steams together it's really good you just grab it and eat it but that's an empanada because it is a wellington i was gonna say wrapped in bread empanada right it's like it's the same thing it's a pie it's all you know it's an open-faced pie nicole that's what we're talking about about here. And corn dogs simply don't fit the bill. It's a wet batter that's fried.

It's not the same. It's a tamale. It's not the same. It's not a tamale either, Josh. If you would pick corn dog batter, let it sit. Maybe make it a little

bit less slippery. What if you were making tamales and then someone threw a hot dog in the middle of a tamale? You would punch them in the face. That absolutely exists.

There are definitely... Okay, so you mean to tell me there's tamal de weenie? Absolutely, dude. Absolutely people have made this. I'm looking it up to see if anybody's made this. I don't know if they have, but in the history of the world, somebody

has to have put hot dogs in tamales. Maybe spam. Maybe spam. But it doesn't matter. Tamal is a vessel. And also, a tamal should maybe be the... Also, the word tamale. You know like a tamale is a it's a vessel and also a tamale but tamale should maybe be the also the word tamale you know like the word tamale like that's just like a very weird this is a super pretentious giada de laurentis ass thing i don't know but the word tamale like doesn't exist it's just tamale it's tamale because then the plural is like tamales and the singular

is tamale but then in American adoption of the word somehow tamale became like the thing. And also they're like very American like red hot tamales are like really popular in like the southern delta. I do like hot tamales. Yeah, same. So what do we, what's the consensus

today? If you were to take corn dog batter make it a little bit less liquidy. Or even just let it sit. Let it hydrate for a while. Let the corn soak up and do its thing. Put that in a corn dog batter, make it a little bit less liquidy. Just let it sit. Let it hydrate for a while. Let the corn soak up and do its thing. Put that in a corn husk and steam it. Is it not like a tamal dulce? It's not an extamalized corn.

I get it. It's made of corn. It's made of field corn. It's made of maize. Thank you so much for watching. But then if you take a hot dog... We'll talk about this when the cameras turn off. You stack 15 hot dogs together. I don't think we're going to solve this. You wrap it in phyllo dough. I take a hot dog we'll talk about this when the camera's 15 hot dogs together i don't think let me tell you i don't think we're gonna solve this you're at

the infilo though i call it a hot dog clava i don't think we're gonna i don't think we're going to come up with a consensus today but we have definitely set the groundwork for some other people out there to discuss if a corn dog is a beef wellington and that's the most important thing josh we are shaping people's futures. We are creating discourse for those that cannot. And I think that's really important. Calzone. All right, Nicole.

We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what they're working on. It's time for what we call Opinions Are Like Casseroles. I guess. I'm shy. And before... Nicole's not doing that.

She peed me out. Why? What is this? I don't know. There's something so weird about this that makes me throw up. It's like those NPC streamers who just go like...

You know what I mean? It peed me out. Why is me putting my fingers like in a pointy... It's just got the same energy. Why is my ubu fingers a problem? Before we get to your opinions like casseroles,

we're doing a new little segment that we're calling Review a Review. We're going to give a review for one of the many five-star reviews that we have on Apple Podcasts. And if you want to be

one of the many people who have given us five-star reviews, many people are saying, many people are saying, that's all, many people say that we're the best podcast out there

and so they give us five-star reviews. And so if you want to be one of those many people, you can do it. If you don't, give us a five-star review. Yeah, stroke want to be one of those many people, you can do it. If you don't give us a five star review. Yeah, stroke our egos and then we'll congratulate you for stroking our egos.

Does it do anything material for us? Absolutely. Do we get more money? Do we get more advertisers? I don't think so. I don't believe so. We need it. We need it.

But hey, it's a new segment. It's an extra two minutes to talk. And I know how valuable those two minutes can be. For in here, we need it. So this is Night's Alchemy, titled Fun. I don't personally know much about food, but it's still enjoyable and I learn a lot, I think.

Night's Alchemy, I'm going to give you a four and a half out of five stars for this review. Yeah, and be sure to rate and review this podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and Apple Podcasts. And leave us a comment on YouTube about what you want to hear us debate next.

Because I love that they gave us five stars. What I don't like is they seem unsure of themselves. They say they think they learn a lot and they don't know much about food. I'm really thirsty. Can I have some of your drink? Thank you. Sorry. I finished all my drink and I'm dying of thirst. I thought you were about to launch into a weird advertisement.

I was very confused. I was just thirsty. Hey, buy one of our m thirsty. I don't get it. Hey, buy one of our mugs. We don't sell them. No, we don't sell them. But buy them from us. Just send me an offer.

It says, don't talk to me until I've had my hot dog water. Because it's funny. Hot dog water. Funny. I'm going to do that whenever we actually sell these. Yeah, funny. All right, let's get into our first spinion. Shalom. that whenever we actually sell these yeah funny all right let's get in our first opinion shalom so i don't know why this took me 30 years of the existence to discover but about five minutes ago i dipped like a salty hot baked russet potato and some yellow mustard

and it was probably the best snack i've ever had in the moment. Hashtag drop food. Blessed. See y'all later. Bye. What is their accent? I love it. I don't know. It sounds hardened. What do you mean? It's like a hardened accent.

Like it was hardened by like an industrial area and snow. True grit. Like they're from either like Montana or like Pittsburgh. But they're kind of the same things to me. It's just like harder than here.

Okay. You know, is what it sounded like. Sounds good. Hot salty potato, yellow mustard. Yum. You know what this is? Give me that. Any time.

Controversial statement. Any time one culture sort of like diffuses. What is this? Is that a big mocha cycle? Anytime one culture sort of diffuses across many country lines some weird things kind of happen to it

and it can sort of dilute itself in a way. So you take like a German potato salad with like nice whole grain mustard and you know other aromatics and things folded in like potatoes and mustard

is a thing that makes sense sure it feels very Germanic to me okay and then you travel that across the ocean and you just end up eating the baked potato

with just yellow mustard on it it's it's ingredients for something greater than it can be true okay you know

or like if like spaghetti napolitan in sure in Japan right you take napolitan in japan right you take napolitan neapolitan spaghetti right and then that turns into like ketchup spaghetti and hot dogs yes you know a delightful dish in its own right ditto with this you know russet potato and yellow mustard potatoes are a completely blank slate you get acid salt and you get that mustard funk

there's nothing wrong with that. Nope. You know what I mean? This sounds good. But it is a bit of an Uncanny Valley dilution of something that has existed. I don't think food can be in the Uncanny Valley. I think it can.

No. I think, you ever see the hot dogs that are sliced to look like octopuses? That's not Uncanny Valley. That's Cute Aff. Dude, that's Uncanny Valley. Dude, that's Cute Aff.

Or they make like the rice balls that look like a bear. Okay, Josh, you just don't like cute things. I don't like cute af. Dude, that's uncanny valley. Dude, that's cute af. Or they make like the rice balls that look like a bear. Okay, Josh, you just don't like cute things. I don't like cute things. I'm not a very kawaii person. I love cute things. Maggie laughs. Hi, my name's Cece. Hi, Josh and Nicole. Hi, Cece. Hi. So, my

food hot take is that the best all-purpose shredded cheese to keep in your refrigerator is Monterey Jack. I'm not saying it's the best cheese for every application. I'm saying it's the best all-rounder that you could possibly keep for, you know, the average person who's not going to have like 30 different cheeses. You go ahead. You're a big Monterey Jack stan. I'm a big fan of Monterey Jack because, okay, so cheddar, right? It can be a little bit too sharp, even a mild cheddar.

Even the crystalline compound is just not for meltage. That's what I'm saying. Mozzarella, you don't get enough sometimes. Sometimes the texture of mozzarella, if you're using it for a non-traditional mozzarella, you know, application, it's a bit rubbery. To me, Monterey Jack, it's like a perfect neutral cheese. It's a good all-purpose cheese

when you're cooking. I think whenever you want like cheese pull, I think whenever you want a touch of saltiness, a touch of creaminess, I think Monterey Jack is a great thing to throw in there in addition to other cheeses. It's very, it's non-offensive. It's like a very mild flavor profile.

Also, even like the color, right? Not like a yellow cheddar. It's just, it's going to melt white. It's going to be white, you know, a neutral color palette. I agree with this. And I often do stock Monterey Jack. You use it in quesadillas. Really good in quesadillas.

I've done it in a pinch on chicken parm and it works just fine. Oh, really? Okay. Last night I made a chicken parm, but the only thing I had was like Julia bought like a fancy cheese. She bought like a young manchego. I just used like a young manchego on my chicken parm. Pretty bad. I'm not surprised. Pretty bad. Does not. It just melts. It just breaks immediately.

Wait, but like you put like Parmesan cheese over the mozzarella, right? Yeah, yeah. But I tried to use the manchego as a sub for the mozz. That's your problem. That's it. I wasn't going to walk to the store. Also, it was already like a healthy, baked version. We didn't fry it, so it was like, whatever. Might as well. Fair.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Monterey Jack. Monterey Jack would have saved me in that pinch. Good opinion, Cece. Hi, I've been listening to you since the episode is cereal soup. In my opinion, it's that the original Pringles with coconut milk whipped cream is the bomb. Thanks for being here so I can listen to you every night.

Love you guys. Bye. I'm unwell. Wait, they know the coconut milk whipped cream is better than the original whipped cream. It's not better, but it's a good substitute. I think it's better and the almond milk is way worse. There's almond whipped cream? They have an almond milk whipped cream and it comes out

broken like half the time. Oh, no, no, no. There's not enough guar gum in the world. I will say coconut whipped cream does serve its purpose and it's really good. It's a good sub, but it's not the same, but you're pairing it with classic Pringles. Yes. Honestly, that's a great combination. That's a really good combination. I want like a great, if you, the most common dessert that Julie and I eat is like, we just have a can of whipped cream. We both are nostalgic for the canned stuff. We've tried like batching our own sort of, you know, whipped cream.

No, I need the can. It's not the same. We'll just like cut up fruit, maybe macerate it a little bit with some sugar or whatever herbs we have on hand. And then we'll take something crunchy and put it on top. Graham cracker, cereal, whatever. The best is potato chips. The best.

A little bit of salty. Wow. A little bit of salty. Even some corn chips sometimes. So adventurous. Get that little bootleg mango corn chips and whipped cream. You two are so crazy.

You know, he's a little wild at night, you know. This is a great opinion. Next opinion. Hi, Josh and Nicole. My name is Grant, and I'm from Wisconsin. I love the name Grant. But that doesn't really matter because my hot take isn't about Bratwurst or some mayo-filled party casserole. Go Badgers!

My take is about coffee. Ice coffee, actually. And that instant coffee makes better ice coffee than any other method. Love the show, don't you know? Okay, there's the Wisconsin part. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, don't you know? I saw Fargo like four times. Mikey and Aguida. Yeah. Frances McDormand? Yeah. She's incredible in it, man. One of my favorites.

William H. Macy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Great. I watched that in it, man. One of my favorites. William H. Macy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Great. I watched that movie recently as well. I loved Fire Gold. I love me some Fire Gold. I would watch it again. It's pretty good. That was a good accent. I want to give you your flowers. I didn't feel like doing the full poll and trying it myself. I still have the energy. I don't have that energy right now, but I want you to know that you did a really great job. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. What are we talking about? Instant coffee. The world runs on instant coffee. So good. So many places. People talk about like coffee culture elsewhere. They're like, oh, if you ever go to

Turkey and they pull the coffee this way. Yeah. Turkish coffee. It's good. It's like, yeah. Or Vietnam, even talking about the cafe culture in France and yada yada. And like that's all true, but also every single place also just has buckets of instant Nescafe. I love instant coffee. My mom used to be an instant coffee lady and it like definitely skewed me to like it too, but not that much. And you can control the amount of liquid and you can control how strong it is, which for iced coffee something that's getting diluted yeah

one of the reasons it's tough if you are at home and you only have like a drip coffee maker like I

do and you want iced coffee you don't have an espresso machine no I

don't even I don't like espresso like that and I don't like milky coffee drinks really

like I love American drip coffee it's just my favorite I hate drip coffee really

I know like my Italian roommates used to call's just my favorite. I hate drip coffee. Really? Ugh. I know like my Italian roommates used to call it just dirty water. Yeah, I like espresso. No, I'm a fan of just watery drip coffee. That's okay. It reminds me of being in like diners, you know. You like being in diners? I love diners, yeah.

I'm okay with diners. I love a good American diner cup of coffee. I want to feel like I'm in Italy. But like the instant coffee, you can control the amount of water in it so that way, put it on ice, shake it, the water naturally dilutes it. And I agree with that. And also, you're changing

the nature of the coffee. Dalgona coffee? Couldn't be done without instant, right? Couldn't be done without instant coffee. Instant coffee is a revelation and also caffeine is just a drug and the American government needs to... Regulate it? Give us more...

No, no, the opposite. The opposite. They need to give us more unregulated stimulants. I want to chew cot. Oh, my God. I want to chew cot. Anybody out there who can get me some cot? Oh, my God.

I would like to chew it. That is... All day. That's the beetle leaf? No, I think it's its own thing. The beetle nut? It's not beetle nut, I believe the beetle nut is like. Is it caught beetle nut? Is caught beetle nut?

Wait, look it up, look it up. I know caught is really popular in like Yemen. When I was in Israel, I was drinking a bunch of caught juice and it was great. I don't know. I think caught, I think caught is just like its own like leaf and it's delicious. Oh, got it. Also QAT can be played in Scrabble. One of the few.

Oh my God. Q without U words. God, I'm going to play so many games. I'm going to play Scrabble online with, with people, with listeners. I don't,

I don't know, man. I don't know. It seems vulnerable. Um, so on that note, is that it? Is that the end of the podcast?

Should we do one more? Let's do one more. Let's do one more. Maggie, can we do one more? Yeah. Maggie, more. Let's do one more. Maggie, can we do one more? Maggie, do we have room for one more? Hi, I am currently listening to the episode called What's the Best Office Snack?

And Josh just said the words crawfish are just okay. So I wanted to let you know that I'm scared for your life because the Cajuns are going to come for you, but since you are familiar with boils, what are your favorite non-traditional items

to throw in a crawfish boil? We like pineapple, also eggs, because they soak up all the flavors. One thing that did not work was grapes. That was gross. Okay, bye. Hey, man. Wait, wait, what did I do?

What did I do that the Cajuns are coming for me? You said crawfish is just all right. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's like did I do that the Cajuns are coming for me? You said crawfish is just all right. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's like... I like it whenever I go to the seafood boil places and then they put ramen in it. I don't know that I've ever had that. Really?

Am I imagining it? I don't know. I've had it once. Maybe I did it myself. Maybe they did it for me. Oh, no, that sounds awesome. It was good. Oh, my God. Yeah, after you finish finish they just put it and then they shake the bag and then you eat the bag and eat it

with the juices of the bag holy smokes yeah i don't know that i've ever had i don't know that i've ever had anything like non-traditional in seafood boil but the possibilities are endless because it's such like an intoxicating elixir. Imagine it with like curly ramen noodles, like Korean ramen noodles. Yeah, that literally sounds like the ideal. Yeah. Or like, oh my God, if you just took like frozen dumplings, because now I'm imagining this like hot pot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But with the Cajun spices, I want to put fish balls in there. Yeah. You ever go to a hot pot and you get the fish balls that are filled with like, do you not get fish balls at all? No. Do you ever go to a hot pot? Like twice. We should go.

Okay. We have so many plans that you promised to do, but you never do. I hurt my back and then I got strep throat and you have Shabbat and everybody has robust social lives. Sounds like excuses, Josh. And we can never do anything. If I was important, you would. No, I will.

Will you cancel your plans for me? I have before in the past. Nope. When? I will never cancel a baby shower or a Britmilla, but I will cancel other things. You lied about a Britmilla, though. You lied.

That was to be on camera with you. I don't know who you lied for content. You lied for clout. That makes it okay? Thank you so much for listening to Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got new audio-only episodes on Wednesdays and video versions here on YouTube every Sunday.

I throw more hard-boiled eggs into random things. I think that's the thing I believe in. I had a hard-boiled egg today. What did you eat it with? Salt and pepper. Real imaginative, Nicole. All right. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube.

We launch new videos every week. We're always doing stuff out there. Nicole, they don't care. If you want to be featured on Opinions Like Castles, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1. That number again is 833-DOGPOD1. If you want to be featured on Opinions Like Castles, dial 1-833-DOGPOD1. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our other videos.

We launch new episodes every week. We will see you next time. We got new episodes coming out audio only on wednesday videos drop this sunday we'll see you next time rate us five stars or we'll do bad things to other people