A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Is A Hot Pocket A Dumpling?

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

Josh and Nicole get to the bottom of the burning question in all of our hearts: is a Hot Pocket a dumpling? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hey Josh, what's your favorite dumpling? Ham and cheese. Wait, no, pepperoni pizza. Wait, no, turkey broccoli cheddar. Those are just Hot Pocket flavors. I said what I said. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, a hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast a hot dog is a sandwich the show we break down the world's biggest food debates i'm your host josh air and i'm your host nicole and i.d and nicole welcome to our big grand hot pocket episode we have not done an episode entirely devoted to hot pockets yet but today that all changes because we're trying to figure out what the hell they actually are.

The episode is titled, officially, Is a Hot Pocket a Dumpling? Is. How's Debra? Is, is. What did I say? I mean, yes. No, you did. I just want to emphasize the is.

Oh, why are you emphasizing the is? Instead of saying a Hot Pocket a Dumpling. Hot Pocket Dumpling, huh? But, but, Hot Pock pockets are officially called hot pockets brand sandwiches they're sandwiches that's the like legit out of town go to the actual copyrighted lingo hot pockets brand sandwiches is what they're called but we can all agree that they're not a sandwich right they are not sandwiches no i mean like they're closed off at the end i neither you nor i ever want to discuss what a sandwich is and isn't after our five-part hot dog series.

You should go back and let's do it because we're really proud of the work we did. Yeah, it was good. But we can all agree that it's not that. So we got to classify Hot Pockets as something. And to me, like dumpling is such a large category that they could be in there. I'm not saying they are. I'm not saying they're dumplings. Why do you have this desire and need to classify everything that comes into your orbit?

Because that is how we contextualize life. Nicole, I grew up on Hot Pockets. Did you grow up on Hot Pockets? No, I did not. But they're inventing. I had toaster strudels. But, okay, I legit would have thought, as the person who, not 45 seconds ago, right before we started this podcast, Nicole goes,

so, this is my Nicole impression, so I'm watching Game of of Thrones and like, oh my God, I love it so much. And the theme song, you know, the like, that was invented by a Persian guy. Yeah, yeah. A Persian guy. He's half German, half Persian. And Nicole, who were Hot Pockets invented by? A Persian man! A Persian Jewish man.

He's Jewish? He's Jewish. It was actually him and his brother. Wow. They list the actual invention as 1983. My brother is Paul and David. Is it, Nicole, is it Mirage? I'm going to say Miragi, but it might be Mirage.

I don't know. Either way, you're not like, you're not like my like personal encyclopedia on Persian. Like I was just saying. I am, but I am. I am totally. Like you have answered most of my questions. Yeah, yeah. But this is like difficult because, you know, like everyone, like, for example, if your name is Jamshid, your name is actually Jimmy in America.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, like if your name is like Behrouz, it's Bob or David. That's David's dad's name. I like Behrouz. He's my homie. Yeah, he's a nice guy. But brothers Dave and Paul Mirage, they came from Tehran in the 70s. And then in 1977, they were like, we want to get into the frozen food game and we want to make the most American thing possible.

Like America needs a frozen microwavable sandwich. Freezers, 1970s, right? Women in the workplace, you know, post women's liberation movement. Women in the workplace, people need things that they can microwave and eat. And they were like, we got some science and technology that can keep the bread crispy on these quote unquote sandwiches, which is the crisping sleeve. Of course, they invented that. The crisping sleeve. The crisping sleeve. Love the crisping sleeve. and technology that can keep the bread crispy on these quote-unquote sandwiches, which is the Crispin' Sleeve, of course. They invented that. The Crispin' Sleeve!

The Crispin' Sleeve! Love the Crispin' Sleeve. And they were originally called Tasty Witches, and then they didn't take off in 77. So 1983, they officially copyrighted Hot Pockets brand sandwiches under their company Chef America, which is, to me, the best Persian-owned name, Chef America. I'm a huge fan. So that is how Hot Pockets were like invented to be sandwiches,

but they do not to me satisfy any of those categories. No, no, no way. To me, they're much closer to a dumpling. But that's like saying a ravioli is a dumpling. Wait, no, you're trolling, right?

No, that's like saying the same thing. No, I agree. But I'm saying that like, of course, a ravioli is a dumpling. What do you mean, of course? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do I mean, of course course a ravioli's a dumpling. What do you mean, of course? What do you mean? What do I mean, of course? A ravioli is a dumpling. A ravioli is, like, a classic

dumpling. It's not a dumpling. How is a ravioli not a dumpling? It's clearly not. I don't think it's a ravioli. A tortellini is a dumpling. Get the F out of town. Okay, if you at least took the position. Josh has much anger in his face. Josh has much anger. Not little anger, much anger.

If you were like, listen, dump like Italian-filled pastas are not dumplings because like when, you know, the Marco Polo myth brought noodles over here, blah, blah, blah. They separated from the, you know,

what do they call it? Phylogenetic tree and had, you know, convergent evolution, whatever, whatever. I'm sorry. But you think tortellini are dumplings, but ravioli are not?

Yes, it is the flatness of the ravioli that just turns me completely off to calling it a dumpling. But there's a ton of flat dumplings out there. Like what? Tell me one. Okay, like a... No, like pierogi. Pierogis are not flat. Pielmeni.

Pielmenis are not flat. But ravioli aren't all that flat. They're pretty flat. Bro, okay. Chef Boyardee, big, bold, overstuffed ravioli. Those are big. Josh, I love you more than life itself most days, but we are not here to discuss if a ravioli is a dumpling.

We're here to discuss if a hot dog is a dumpling. A hot dog. Ah! Ah! Ah! If a hot pocket. The cold has taken over my entire life. A hot pocket. A hot pocket.

Nicole, I hear every night before I go to bed, I hear, hot dog, hot dog, hot dog. It beats inside my head. Why did we open this jack-in-the-box? You're going to look crazy. No, but a hot pocket is not a dumpling. Yeah. A hot pocket is not a dumpling. What's a dumpling, though?

Like, try and define it it because it gets real tough. Oh, it's so hard to do that. I'm not very good at defining things, but I'm going to try my best. A dumpling is a piece of bread that's folded over and pinched and it has to be a little thick. Okay. And when you say bread, you just mean like starchy dough thing, right? Dough, dough, dough, yeah. Not pasta dough.

When we were in our like absolute losing our mind insanity of the long hot dog series, somebody brought up when we were doing it live the Vietnamese word bun or ban, as I think they pronounce it in like Hanoi in the north. Okay. But there's like bun mee, there's bun bao, there's bun baeo, there's bun seol, bun koon. Okay. And then even like flan, at least the places I've gone to, they'll call it like bun flan. Why?

And so if I, well, I was trying to figure out why. Bun flan doesn't make sense. I got a really great answer from Twitter where they were like bun just meant like anything cake-like or doughy. And so they were like when you get like bun, literally translates to the baguette, right? So you have like bun bao, which are like these little, I would call them a dumpling. They're like steamed dough in these like little cups and they put like the ground shrimp on it.

Oh, yum. You like slurp it out almost like an oyster. I don't think I've ever had that before. Bun cuon is what I would call maybe a flat dumpling, but maybe it's not quite a dumpling because you cook the dough separately from the filling and then wrap it. And then you wrap it. Yeah.

But, but bun flan, they're like, and bun mee, they're like, okay, these are like outside imports. They're like, we already got this word for like kind of cakey, bready thing. Like, yeah, this is just like bun mee, bun flan. It's kind of cakey a little bit. But then they were also like, yo, but we also use the word bun to describe car tires, like a car tire and a steering wheel both have bun before it, which is really interesting.

And so like you can't like in any culture try and like officially define what certain words mean because things evolve over time. So dumplings is the perfect example of that in the English language for me. I think in my brain, I always think dumplings is being steamed. Like an application of water heat. But I mean, there's plenty of fried dumplings, though. Yeah. I mean, like gyoza, you drop

that right in the fryer with the un-gogo, you know what I mean? But like, I feel like that's just so Americanized. St. Louis toasted ravioli? Oh my god, toasted ravioli is a dumpling. I think that, no, I think there's a lot of there's a lot of dumplings that are steamed and then fried. Yeah, like, that's fine, but I think dumpling has to have the activation of steam or water in order for it to be considered a dumpling.

I really do. Interesting. I'm trying to think of things that wouldn't qualify in that category. But, I mean, if you drop a dumpling like – okay, so here's an interesting one. Sure. When you think of the classic dumpling, what country do you think of? What region do you think of? What dumpling do you think of?

I think of pierogies from Russia. Do you really think of pierogi? Yeah. I think pierogi is Polish. Pirozhka. Oh, sorry. Pirozhki, whatever. Pirozhki.

Yeah, but it's all the same language. I think of Russian, and I think of sour cream, and I think of— Dude, heck yeah. A lot of people wouldn't probably say that, though, as their first dumpling. No, I mean, my answer is shumai from China. And I would, like, think of the Cantonese dim sum tradition. But I was recently reading, and there's certainly, like, fried dumplings and dim sum, but the classic steamed application, which one I prefer. Yeah, totally.

I prefer it, too. There is a dish, I remember my brother talking about getting this in Australia, in servos, they call them, in the gas stations. Servos, okay. And it's called dim sim. Okay. But they just call them dimmies because, of course, because it's Australia.

So it's like, hey, bro, want to get some dimmies at the servo? Okay, cute, cute. And they are like these giant overstuffed shumai that you just fold the dumplings

and drop them directly in the fryer. Interesting. And I was reading about the history of it and it's like Chinese people were in Australia during the gold rush period.

And then they all finished mining all their gold. And they were like too old to like do manual labor in the gold mines. They were like, yeah, let's just make some dank Chinese food. And people started loving the dumplings. But they started frying them instead. And like the Chinese word for dumplings is jiaozi. I have no idea. They were like people can't pronounce or shumai. They were like people can't pronounce – or shumai.

They were like people couldn't pronounce shumai. So they were like dim sum, which is a derivation of dim sum from Cantonese in a different dialect. But anywho, this is like a purely fried dumpling as far as I know that to me still satisfies the necessities of dumplinghood. I would still call it a dumpling. But do you think unless it's cooked with water, it's not a dumpling? I guess that's, I just feel that way. I feel like it's wrong. And something tells me like frozen dumplings and stuff,

there has to be some sort of cooking being done beforehand. Some sort of something, but I don't know what it is. But I think water is what makes it a dumpling, not necessarily the wrapping. Because shumai, like you said, has like an opening where you can clearly see the filling. But so dim sum, I don't think has an opening. Dim sum are purely, are purely closed. Shumai has an opening. Shumai is open.

But like har gow doesn't. Har gow doesn't have any sort of opening. What's the one that's like, it's like white and it has like a circle inside? White has a circle inside? The one with the whole shrimpy? Yeah. That's har gow. Har gow. Yeah, I like the har gow. yeah i think a tapioca flour that gives it that texture really delicious but yeah i wouldn't consider a hot pocket to fall into the the taxation of a of a dumpling i think it's a it's a calzone

it's a cow okay but but obviously look at the dough i know okay one hot pockets the original their pizzas flavor i believe was pepperoni pizza and still their highest selling flavor. To me, not even in the top. I wouldn't put it in my top 10. I don't have a favorite Hot Pocket flavor because I don't eat too many. How many Hot Pockets have you had in your life? 13. You think 13 is your total body count on Hot Pockets?

Yes, yes. I'm definitely in the thousands. Good for you. Definitely in the thousands. That wasn't like a bragging thing. That was just to let you know. Sodium levels in the thousands. Good for you. Definitely in the thousands. That wasn't like a bragging thing. That was just to let you know. Sodium levels through the roof. Okay.

In 2015, Nestle cut 10% of the sodium levels of Hot Pockets. Thanks, Nestle. Eat that, Nicole. Yeah, Nestle cares about them kids. But for the record, Nestle bought Chef America for $2.6 billion. What am I doing with my life? It doesn't do. Dude, I'm telling you, we need to create a Jewish-owned Nutella competitor called Jutella.

Josh. No, no, hear me out. This is my quick pitch. Because Nutella, right, it's not a nut butter. It's like 8% hazelnuts. Yeah. Then it's a bunch of sugar and chocolate and palm oil. Yeah, yeah.

We do that, but with other nuts and flavor combinations. So, Cole, remember that thing I made in the kitchen not an hour ago? Yes. Ginger bread, spiced molasses, almond butter. It sounds good. Right? We do that. We make pistachio, white chocolate. I'm not goingiced molasses, almond butter. It sounds good. Right? We do that. We make pistachio,

white chocolate. I'm not going to call it Jew-tella. We call it Jew-tella this way. No, we activate the Jewish community. We get the little KSA, the kosher association

stamp on it. There's already kosher Nutella. We can't do it. God dang it. Josh, you already knew that. Come on, bro. Come on. We have everything.

We come from such an enterprising people. But what do you think a Hot P is a dumpling? Kosher croutons. I don't want to play this game anymore. No more kosher game. Kosher chow mein noodles.

I don't want to play the kosher game anymore. Answer the question. Do you truly in your heart of hearts think that a Hot Pocket is a dumpling? Can you raise a kosher pig? We'd be really progressive if we could. In Israel, they raise the pigs on platforms above the ground so their hooves are never touching Israeli soil. That's true. Smart.

Kosher bacon. Josh, these are all great ideas. At this point, I need you to stick to the prompt for once in your life. Thank you for sending me good ideas. Do you think that a hot pocket, not a hot dog. Josh touched my hand. I'm so sorry for touching your hand. That was me like intensely thinking about the prompt.

Do you think in your heart of hearts that a hot pocket is a dumpling? Yes or no? I have to know how you feel because it's obviously not. Hot pocket's a pie. A hand pie? Hot pocket's a pie, right? Hot pocket's a pie. Hot pocket's a pie. Why don't they just call. A hand pie? Hot Pockets pie, right? Hot Pockets hand pie. Hot Pockets pie.

Why don't they just call it a hand pie? They should. Well, yeah, but I mean, it's a Hot Pockets brand sandwiches. Do they make more money if it's sandwiches and not pie? Okay, well, here's something interesting. So one of their few other true standalone products, because Hot Pockets, they got lean pockets. They got breakfast pockets. I actually grew up, sorry, I've eaten probably eight probably eight hot pockets and 992 lean pockets in my life

because we're like healthy and to this day i could not tell you the nutritional difference between either i'm sure there's a green lean pocket and you got that they have croissant pockets you know they got like the big and bold garlic beefy stuff big boy hot pockets now uh-huh they got all this stuff. They even have leaven. They have like a more leavened bread form of Hot Pocket, which I, now that's a dumpling.

Now that's a dumpling. Hear me out. Yes. No. Okay. Thinking back, Hot Pockets are definitely dumplings. I can't make sense.

Why? Why? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. You said that steam as being the cooking method is important. I guess I did. Do you know how microwaves work? Yeah. They heat up the water molecules, the cooking method is important. I guess I did. Do you know how microwaves work?

Yeah, they heat up the water molecules, right? That is correct. They use radiation and microwaves to physically vibrate the water molecules. And then, so you're taking an ice cube, right? You're taking the frozen broccoli, the cheddar, the turkey, just the sauce is literally ice cubes in there. You microwave it, that steams it, both from the inside and the outside. The Crispin's sleeve is encapsulating steam.

You ever take a hot pocket of the Crispin's sleeve? It is wet. I ask you to please look back to the TikTok of Emily Mariko where she puts the ice cube and the ice cube doesn't melt.

Why did that happen? Wait, what did she do with it? She put, she changed the game. She took a bowl of damn rice and then she cut up some salmon in it. She put some sriracha

and stuff in it, mayonnaise. She heated it up. She put an ice cube in in it. She put some sriracha and stuff in it, mayonnaise. She heated it up. She put an ice cube in the middle. She put paper on top of the ice cube. She microwaved it for 35 seconds. She took off the paper. The ice cube was still there, but the food was still hot.

Wait, so what? When you say stop touching me. I'm so sorry. Why am I touching you all of a sudden? This is strange. I think my depth perception is off. Let's get it out of the way. Okay. One.

Oh, my God. That ring, honey. So gorgeous. Okay it out of the way. Okay. One. Oh, my God. That ring, honey. So gorgeous. Okay. Out of the way. Okay. Great. So what she did was she was trying to.

No. But you said that the ice. Okay. You said the ice. You said that the water molecules vibrate and then they melt and then they get hot. But that didn't happen with Emily Mariko's ice cube. No. but the water molecules in the rice literally vibrating that hot what is i don't know the ice was on top of the ice was just there to make sure the rest of it was moist i think she's a witch because things that you know i saw okay there's some like no he wasn't state senator he

was like a he was a pundit political pundit what does that mean like if he you know talks to senators google pundits he like talks to senators for living he's some sort of tv personality i cannot remember his name it's on twitter and he posted a picture that he said this is a recession-proof lunch nicole listen listen to me it was it was a can of tuna uh-huh mustard mayonnaise sweet relish fiber one cereal with the water intact and he said stir together and let it sit you wonder why he leaves the water so it could re-cause it to the fiber but i'll tell you what anyone who eats fiber one cereal knows that it does not soak up milk it repels it because it's just fiber but i saw that and i just went it's emily marco meal for divorced dads yeah and i respect that that's true right

rice salmon mayonnaise spice i'm so close to touching. Do I like scoop back? It's okay. You can stay here. I'm just kidding. Rice. I don't like being close. Okay. Dumplings.

Let's think about other things that don't fill the connotation of dumpling because. Fried Oreo. Okay. So you don't fill the connotation of dumpling because fried oreo okay so you don't think like a wet batter like it would a wet batter thing be considered i don't know i'm asking you boss man well okay so the american most people think of dumplings as filled uh i typically do sure there's a very popular american dish that i actually grew up oh my god my dad cooked this dish from scratch. What was it? Which is called chicken and dumplings. Oh, delicious. Chicken and dumplings. You know whose chicken and

dumplings recipe is the best? Dolly Parton's. No way! Yeah way! Man, can't believe he's about to leave her for Jolene after she could cook chicken and dumplings like that. But those dumplings are literally just leavening agent, like flour shortening in milk or water, right? Yes, yes, yes.

But they call them dumplings. I don't know. I don't know why that is called dumplings. Me neither. That's it because it's not filled. It's not like a dough because we look at- Does it have to do with poor Americans? Yeah, dude, probably.

That's like most of our food history is like the casseroles invented because we had to throw a bunch of crap into a dish. I bet that it was just similar in look and feeling to dumplings so they just derived it from that and they're like, hmm, they're not filled but it'll suffice. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's interesting. Or it could be the fact that that was supposed to be

the OG meaning of the term dumpling. Maybe. And then we retrofit that. Because you're dumping it? Maybe. No, that's a dump cake. That's a dump cake where you dump all the things into a, and you don't mix it. You don't. No, that's a dump cake. That's a dump cake where you dump all the things into a and you're doing it. Don't mix it. You don't mix it. It's a dump cake. Do you remember the lady who did the dump cake

infomercials? Not the don't mix it girl. There was a lady. She was short and stocky like George Costanza's mom. And she had this beautiful short haircut where it was just like she had like these beautiful curls that just kind of like went over like this. And then she would make dump cakes and then she would show us like so you take a box cake mix and then you put uh pineapples and then with the juice and then you

don't mix it and then you just bake it you don't remember that infomercial no i missed that i remember this the slice-o-matic the slap chop dump cakes were a big deal emeralds pressure cooker that like just oh you just make the worst looking food on that I don't remember the dump cakes my favorite local my favorite infomercial now

it's for a spurtle oh I know that lady she's nice there's it's like Martha Stewart's ex head food stylist uh huh what about her

is now the face of spurtles what are spurtles? god I'm glad you asked me what a spurtle is so a spurtle is a Scottish porridge stirrer. Oh, shit. I know.

The oar. It's like an oar. It's like a paddle. And she sits there straight-faced just going, you can do anything with a spurtle. Stir porridge. And then she runs out of ideas real quick. She's like, tenderize meat. Like, stir eggs.

And she's got this big paddle trying to, like, make a pan of scrambled eggs. Oh, that's so embarrassing. It's like, listen, if you're trying to sell me a porridge or a lady, I'm in. Don't tell me a spurtle can do anything. What I'm saying is if we can consider the dumplings that are in chicken and dumplings, which is just like, I mean, that's boiled bread, though. That's just a boiled. It's so good.

Which, can you bake chicken? I mean, no, you bake it, but it's cooked with steam. Because you're baking it on liquid. You could potentially put it in the oven at a low temperature and bake it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a potential for that. That's potential, but you're still cooking it with the liquid. Because now I'm thinking that maybe dumplings do need to be cooked with liquid. And even if you were to fry them, do you steam them beforehand?

You don't, though. I don't know. I don't know. You do still need to steam it. You can certainly drop raw pasta dough in a fryer, and that makes a good thing it won't be good yeah i mean no it's it's like good because i mean pasta dough is hydrated and if anybody's made if you've deep fried pasta dough it's not good yeah fresh pasta dough yeah oh not not not like dried pasta dough oh okay okay i mean you've made you've made dumpling wrappers from scratch no i'm about to

expose you no i don't know how to make dumpling crap oh yeah you've made you've made dumpling wrappers from scratch. No, I'm about to expose you. No, I don't know how to make dumpling. Oh, yeah. You've made me make them before. Yes. I've made you make them. I gave you the opportunity to learn a new skill. I learned how to make soup dumplings. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's it's really it's typically a hot water dough, which makes it more elastic, better to work with. Sure. But I mean, it's really the same process as pasta. Making pasta. Yeah. To get a really really soft like uh like fine dough you should like let it rest and then reneed and then rest and let it need it so it's

all the water molecules are happy with all the all the flour molecules to me it's the hot water like really allows you to work it oh god i love me a good just chinese dumpling yeah me too i love xiaolongbao xiaolongbao obviously a dumpling yeah so xiaolongbao is probably the quintessential dumpling it is the dumpling like that's the dumpling like you have pierogi and all that but i think we just need a new word for because we made this recipe for like strawberry dumplings that we found from a pioneer cookbook in in whatever and dumpling is obviously like a very american word the word dumpling like that sounds like a very american word may you look up the etymology of dumpling i don't know why I didn't do this. I'm normally

the guy doing that, but instead I was looking up the history of Hot Pockets. I don't know. So we need a new word for dumplings and fillies. What are fillies? A filly. A filly is a xiaolongbao, a pirogue, a pilmeni from Russia. That's not a filly. A kinkali from Georgia. I'm calling those fillies

because we need something like there's nothing in common between a chicken and dumpling dumpling that's just boiled bread dough, basically a boiled biscuit dough. I mean, it's dough. It's bread. But, I mean, that's it. But it's not stuffed with anything. Dumplings are stuffed. But those aren't.

So we need a new thing. Damn. I think we do. What do we call them? How long? Okay. Early 17th century. From the rare adjective dump.

Oh, okay. So dump literally meant of the consistency of dough. Interesting. So, like, this is dumpy. You got that juicy dumpy meant of the consistency of dough. You got that dumper? So, like, the original, this is interesting, on dictionary.com, they literally separate, like, they say a small savory ball of dough usually made with suet, which suet's what, kidney fat of a lamb? Yes, I believe so. Delicious.

So this is a very British thing, boiled, fried, or baked in a casserole. And then it says, in East Asian cuisine, a small item of food consisting of a thin sheet of dough wrapped around a savory filling and cooked by steaming or frying. We never should have called those dumplings. Like jiaozi from China been made for- Stuffy. Stuffy's called stuffies. Stuffy's called stuffies. Because they've literally been made for 4,000 years, right?

And we're looking at the origin of the word dumpling. It goes back to the 1700s, and it's just a ball of dough. There's nothing in common with, you know, something like, I don't know, like bao. Sure. You know? You know, you're right. That's like a delicious steamed, even if it is like leavened. We fully need to separate those things out.

Yeah, we do. And then we get to Hot Pockets. But I can't, I can't. Hot Pockets, I can't. I can't call them anything other than Hot Pockets. I'm calling BS on my dumpling claim on Hot Pockets. Yeah. Okay, okay, let's look at one more thing.

Wait, you still don't believe a ravioli is a dumpling? No way in hell. What do you mean? Why not? If it's just like a filled like sheet of dough. It's the way it looks. But what about like, man, I mean there's fat ravioli. Okay, what about like agnolotti? What about all of these? Dumplings. Is ravioli the only filled Italian

pasta you don't believe is a dumpling? Yes. That's bonkers to me. I don't care. Ravioli is literally like... Josh, you know, you and I are very different in a lot of things. Yeah, no, no, but this makes me mad. This makes you mad? Yes, how flat does a ravioli have to be...

Flat enough. For it to be, you know, like I've had some fat ravioli. I mean, mezzaluna. Is this bothering you? Mezzaluna, yes, it actually is because it. I mean, mezzaluna. Is this bothering you? Mezzaluna? Yes, it actually is because it is ideologically inconsistent and I am mad. You just called me ideological. I said this is, no, you're not.

I'm saying this is ideologically inconsistent and it's making me mad. Josh, if I tell you that a ravioli is a dumpling, will you be happy? Yes. A ravioli is not a dumpling. Oh my God. Okay. Well, no, no. I need for my own sanity.

Is gnocchi a dumpling? Gnocchi is a dumpling, but it's not a stuffy, which now we have decided. So no, I don't consider ravioli a dumpy in our old definition. As of five minutes ago, ravioli is a stuffy. A gnocchi is a dumpy. So is a gnocchi. I think dumpies and stuffies. For people that don't know what gnocchi is. Gnocchi is, it got like hella popular in la restaurants recently it's like

an alt like a cooler gnocchi yeah but nudie is made with like strained ricotta and like a little bit of flour yeah and then just kind of like boiled cheese loaf yeah but i mean that's i'd consider that a dumpling like that's that's that's a dumpy that's a dumpy that's not sorry sorry sorry yeah it's a dumpy not a stuffy yeah ravioli's a stuff. Josh, if we were to do a poll. But stuffies have to be steamed. They got to be wet. Okay, Josh. Wet stuffies. I'm talking about something new now.

Go ahead. If we were to do a poll, do you think you'd be dumpy or you'd be stuffy? I think I'd be dumpy because I'm juicy. No. You kind of like got the, like the people, people are like, Nicole, she thick. And people are like, well, look at his bony Hank Hill ass. But why he got such fat titties? And I'm like, look at his bony Hank Hill ass. But why he got such fat titties? And I'm like, that's right, baby.

I think you'd be dumpy. Let's say a Hot Pocket is a calzone. I think that. I do think that. What is a calzone? Because calzone can't be a class unto its own, right? Leavened dough that's flipped over and stuffed. But like what other things?

An empanada and a calzone are very similar. They're very similar and I'd consider an empanada to be a pie, right? A calzone is a pie, a pizza pie. You think a calzone, but I wouldn't say a pizza is a pie because of depth. When the moon hits your eye like a big

pizza pie. I know he said it, but I'm saying that was the way they marketed it in early america because people were like circle thing with food in it and they're like it's a pie eat it a-holes trying to feed our sicilian families out here i do like pizza pie but like a calzone like it being stuffed it's like a hand pie it's a it's a it's a hand pie it's an empanada you know oh i got it i got it. I got it. A hot pocket. It's a pastelito. A hot pocket is a pop tart. Tart is a French word for pie. Okay, okay, okay.

I'm just helping the people. Chill out, man. I'm just helping out our guests. We have talked about so much BS on this podcast today. We've had so many tangents. Josh and I were both on vacation for two days. Yeah. So we are like, we were trying to readjust, but we're also like goners.

Yeah, if you didn't like this podcast just keep it to yourself but if you did like this podcast give nicole and i confidence that's pretty long story short i would like to i state that a hot pocket is a pop tart and that's where i stand they're the same i listen i agree that they are the same thing. Also, Hot Pockets, they're like other big property when they were bought by Nestle for $2.6 billion. What are they called? Toaster pizzas? I don't know. I never heard of those. It was Toaster Strudel with pizza in it, which is like pretty much a Hot Pocket.

Anywho, I think that calzones are the closest thing to Hot Pockets. Sure. Hot Pockets, I don't think are dumplings. I do, I think, now agree with you. One, we have our dumpy and stuffy dichotomy. That's nice. I'm down to be dumping and stuffing. Yeah.

And so like stuffies, we got ravioli, we got shumai, we got like Georgian king khali, we got Armenian, was it? Monty. Monty. Absolutely delicious. Vietnamese bun bayo is now a dumpy, not a stuffy, which I think is helpful. Okay, great.

But I think the closest thing a hot pocket is to is a dumpy, not a stuffy, which I think is helpful. Okay, great. But I think the closest thing a Hot Pocket is to is a calzone, which may or may not be a pie. Maybe we should talk about... Like an empanada is a hand pie. Maybe we should talk about if a pizza is a pie or not in our next podcast.

Oh, jeez. We can do that. It's just the beginning. Oh, man. Is this going to be a series? Oh, no. No more series. No more series.

Our brain was hurting, dude. We're too dumb to series? Oh no, no more series. No more series. Our brain was hurting, dude. We're too dumb to string together thoughts for more than 28 minutes. No more series. Alright, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a segment we call Opinions Are Like Casserole. Nicole, this is a very special Opinions Are Like Casserole.

That's right, Josh. Tell them why. This is the first time that we are listening to your voices live. Thank you so much to those who called 833-DOGPOD1. That's our official sex hotline. I mean, our official tips hotline for you to give us your hot take opinions. Please, please don't. Please no

sexy stuff. No sexy stuff. That's now a workplace issue. Do not. Please, no. That was a terrible joke. But, anywho, y'all called 833-DOGPOD1. You left some messages. We're going to listen to them and talk about them. Hi, Josh and Nicole. My name is matt and i'm a hot dogger from pittsburgh pennsylvania um i grew up here so i'm a little used to some of

our weird regional dishes um but recently on the bird app i've seen a lot of people giving hate to uh pittsburgh salads which i cannot stand for p What's that? Pittsburgh salads. Like wet iceberg lettuce with shredded American cheese, probably carrots or red cabbage and french fries. And people are hating on it, saying that it's stupid or looks dumb.

The best addition you can have to any salad is ranch. But besides that, it's french fries. So I just, I don't want to see any more hate for Pittsburgh salads on the Bird app. Thank you so much. Love the pod. No more hate for Pittsburgh salads.

No more hate for Pittsburgh regional foods in general. Oh my gosh. What is this? Okay, so the Pittsburgh salad, Danny Palumbo, who is from Pittsburgh, Spork staff writer and friend of the show, Danny Palumbo was telling me about Pittsburgh salads and he told me,

I can't, I can't vouch for the veracity of this, but he said it had to do with Lebanese immigrants who were like opening kebab shops

and stuff and they started like, Primanti Brothers is a big Pittsburgh staple. Have you heard of Primanti Brothers? Yes, I have. I went there

and I got a gabagool and egg sandwich. They put the fries directly on top of the sandwich with the coleslaw and the tomato. And like the coleslaw is kind of sweet and vinegary and very oily and it soaks through the fries and get the gabagool and egg and it's a delight. So you take that Pittsburgh sandwich from Primanti Brothers, you turn that into a salad, which, you know, if you're talking about putting fries into stuff, you go to a lot of like spots in the Middle East. I mean, I'm thinking Israel, they'll put the fried potatoes, they'll put the fries like right in the sandwich,

right on top of the plate. It's almost treated like a condiment. To me, the Pittsburgh salad, it is not an abomination from just a hardworking steel town. It is a beautiful cross-cultural example and an objectively delicious food. Who doesn't want, I mean, wet fries come at me. I love them. I love the idea of putting French fries and meat on a salad. I mean, I love a good steak salad. I've always been a steak salad girl. Yeah, sign me up.

Where can I get this in Los Angeles? I don't know. I'm going to make it myself, I guess. I don't love the cheese on top. Why? Are we looking at a picture? Show me. I'm looking at a bunch of pictures, yeah.

I'm not passionate about the shredded cheese on top. Why? Are we looking at a picture? Show me. I'm looking at a bunch of pictures. Yeah. I'm not passionate about the shredded cheese on top, but I would love to put french fries and grilled steak on a regular ass salad. Maybe, okay, if there is one Pittsburgh abomination, we might have to look at the concept of Pittsburgh rare. Have you heard of that? No. What's that?

Pittsburgh rare is when... What's Pittsburgh and all these weird foods? Pittsburgh rare is when you order a steak that is, some would call it blue rare. I've had blue steaks before. It's a blue steak. I mean, it's a seared raw piece of meat to the point where it's physically cold in the middle. Sometimes good. Yeah, as long as you're searing the outside, that's where all the bacteria is.

I mean, I'm sure there's other risks, whatever. Don't come for me if you don't get the E. coli. But I don't know if I just want to chew through that much raw beef. Or if it is, I want it, like, sliced thin for me. I would eat, well, when you think about a steak, there's a special kind of steak in Italy that is very, very, very, very rare just like this. Yeah, it's, like, incredibly rare. I think it's called steak Florentine or something. Steak Valentin, something like that.

Steak Florentine, that's a big thing. They're known for their, like, T-bones or porterhouses, whatever. Yeah, and those are, like, blue in the middle Florentine. That's a big thing. They're known for their like T-bones or porterhouses, whatever. Yeah, and those are like blue in the middle. Like that is a blue ass steak. I heard Julia telling me she went to Florence and she tried to get like the Bistecca alla Fiorentina. Yeah. And they have like a special type of cow there called a Chianina. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very, very special. Yeah, yeah. And she was like, yeah, we went to this place and they put like a blueberry sauce on it. And I was like, this is weird as hell. Oh, that's another place. I know exactly what she's talking about. Really? I know exactly what she's talking about. Maybe it wasn't Florence. I don't know. And I was like, this is weird as hell. Oh, that's another place. I know exactly what she's talking about. Really? I know exactly what she's talking about.

Maybe it wasn't Florence. I don't know. And I was like, that's a trip, man. Let's listen to another one. Hey, Nicole and Josh. This is Jenna from Philly. And I just listened to your episode, What's the Best Ice Cream Flavor?

And I think the best ice cream flavor is actually water ice or water ice. You can do so much with it. I used to work at Rita's and we used to do like cookies and cream, water ice, chocolate. You can get fruity like cherry or passion fruit or something. And yeah, I think that's the best. I just really want you guys to talk about it. This amazing thing called water ice.

Yeah. Love the show. I love water ice. What is the difference between Italian ice and water ice? Is there any difference okay so i was literally just thinking about this i think if you were to trace it there's spots in rome we've all seen the travel shows that make different type of granita sure yeah but granita is literally an italian ice so you get these like sicilian immigrants in places like

philly big italian history in philly who are you know trying to describe what a granita is and i guess an italian ice it's a frozen dessert that's got flavor in it, et cetera. And then for whatever reason, I couldn't tell you when it happened. In Philly specifically, in all of like Eastern PA, that tri-state area, they start calling it water ice. Interesting. And water ice, of course, water is literally how my dad from Allentown pronounced the word. And now Rita's has started franchising

around so there's Rita's water ice in LA literally like I've seen a few Rita's like 50 yards from my apartment I can walk there

nobody google where they are I wasn't gonna say that because I don't want people to find you but yeah right next to your place my favorite is you get

I don't even love frozen custard it's always just a little too thick for my taste I'm a big but they do a thing at Rita's where they take the water ice and they layer it with frozen custard. It's always just a little too thick for my taste. I'm a big fan of frozen custard. But they do a thing at Rita's where they take the water ice and they

layer it with frozen custard. Shut up! That's the best of both worlds, baby. I can get that at Rita's? Where's the nearest Rita's to this office? Not the one near my home. Far out in Woodland Hills. Maggie, cut that whole thing. Let's get another opinion this is great your voices are

all so beautiful by the way this is awesome to hear people amazing amazing hi my name is monica um i just started listening to your podcast probably earlier this month what are we in august and i have been i just caught up to the very end um i i've literally been listening to it every day multiple podcasts a day while I do just everything. And it's great. I've learned so much about food. I've gotten so much of the appreciation for so many more foods, especially fast food, which is really interesting to me, like things like I would just think, oh, those things are terrible. But you've given me appreciation for like the understanding of just where they come from and the history and just so many different things um i'm currently drinking coffee with my favorite uh protein powder for the first time

after hearing josh talk about it and how he shook it with ice and um it's delicious and there's just so many little things that you guys have talked about and taught me and I love it. Anyways, you guys are great. Thanks. Monica, you cutie. Thanks for listening. Coffee, protein powder. I've done that before. Do you think we're making the world worse sometimes? Because all we've influenced Monica to do is start protein-ing up her coffee.

Is that bad? Fast food? No. Okay, well, I mean, I don't know. I think it's good. I think protein's good for the body. I think maybe people are looking for, you know, a good way to get it and it's easy to do.

I put collagen in my coffee sometimes. Okay. Hailey Bieber? Who? Who's the one that has the Erewhon smoothie? They have like a smoothie because I don't care that much. But sometimes I do put a little bit of collagen enzyme. Sometimes I put protein powder in there and I shake it. Like she said, I used to do that back in the day when I cared more. If that is the legacy that we leave on this earth, getting people to add protein powder to their coffee, that's good enough for me. And that's more than 99% of human history can say.

It's like, oh, we built a school. No, we got people a little bit more swollen a little bit more caffeinated stevie's friend nagin opened a school well good for her listen to best friends back all right available she's incredible hey josh and nicole um i love the podcast i mean my name is matthew i'm from central new york my hot opinion is that some desserts don't need salt. I love cooking, but just some desserts really don't need salt. I think brownies are good without salt because the

chocolate is nice and indulgent anyways. So I feel as if that is a good opinion for you guys to debate upon. Alright, have a good one. Bye. Love your podcast. Nicole is going to melt right now. Is that a child?

Sounds like a child. I love you. Thank you so much for listening and your opinion. Yeah, well, and Matthew, you absolutely rule. I don't think either of us expected to get as emotional as we are from listening to people's voices. It's really special. It's really special.

But now, roast Nicole. Get out of here, Matthew. Salt in dessert is what makes desserts delicious. The salt helps bring up all the other flavors. The sugar can mute it. You're wrong. But let me tell you, sometimes a regular brownie without salt and stuff in it, I agree. Like a salty cheesecake, no thanks.

Like a salty ice cream. Sometimes. Like I understand where you're coming from, but salted desserts, salty desserts are quite delicious. I agree with Matthew here. And I think chocolate. No, you don't. No. Okay. I will tell you. I agree with him. Lying. Literally after last night. You're lying because he's a child. I had a change of heart last night. I went to.

Surprise, surprise. I don't even. I'm not going to name the ice cream establishment because I don't want to give them the time of the day. I had one of their new flavors and it was like a cheese and apple pie flavored. And this thing was so freaking salty that I was like, this ruined my ice cream. And I generally love, I agree with you that like adding enough salt to just up the flavor levels a little bit, almost an imperceptible amount to where you don't taste salty. It just tastes better.

I do think that chocolate probably has the best chance to not need any salt because like you said, it is already indulgent and it has such a complex flavor profile too. You know what I mean? Chocolate is already bitter. It's already earthy. It's already incredibly aromatic.

Would you consider salt any of those things? No. No, you're, oh. Which is why salt will help meld all those things together. Yeah, but like, milk chocolate doesn't need it. Stop putting, stop putting the salt on top of the brownies. Don't stop. Don't put the salt on top. Don't put the salt on top of the cookies. Don't stop. Just season your cookies. No, no, no. Matthew, I think you should do an experiment though. I'd say try one brownie recipe, no salt, then add like you know, just a pinch. Just add a little pinch to the other one. Try it.

See if you taste the difference because I'm curious. Do it and call us back and then we will review that opinion. And then call us every week and redo the experiment until you find the exact perfect salt ratio for a brownie. Just call us and tell us how your day was at school. That's fine. Hey, Josh and Nicole. Big fan of the podcast my name is julia and i'm calling because i know you guys have talked about prunes in the past on the podcast and growing up my dad used to

always bring prunes with us whenever we travel. Specifically, the kind that you can get that are individually wrapped. Oh, yeah. And you would keep them in your pocket on trips. And in the airplane, you call them pocket prunes. They're great, tasty, a little snack. Help with your digestion when you're traveling. And I just think more people should know about this. So I hope it helps you out on your next trip.

Bye. Sunsweet ones. Sunsweet ones. I was raised on those. Yeah, same. My grandma had them. Because one, prunes, when you get them in the packaging, that isn't individually packaged. When you get like a bucket of prunes like I do, they just stick together.

They get you sticky. You get like the little prune wrapping on it. The individual. You like kind of like a go-gurt. You suck the prune out of it. It's really good. No prune stickiness on your hands. It's incredible. That is a good dad. That's a good dad prune out of it. It's really good. No prune stickiness on your hands. It's incredible.

That is a good dad. That's a good dad. That's a dad that cares about your tummy. I can't. That's important. I agree with that. I can't wait to have children and try and use my knowledge of social psychology to trick them into thinking that like fruits and vegetables are just good things, which I imagine not a lot of people.

Did you grow up thinking like, yucky vegetables, y never yeah that makes sense my parents cultural difference my parents never said food like fruits and vegetables are yucky i was force-fed vegetables from a very young but i mean did you ever did you ever not enjoy it were you ever like i don't want that type i don't want that i'm sure i did but i was never a picky eater like my mom said the first thing you ate was mashed potatoes with avocado wow like and that was my first meal and like my mom was a stay-at-home mom so she would like make me weird concoctions and she just feed me like all right i love that but no i think like eating like prunes are cool they're cool and they're delicious and they're sweet and they're like very good for you calorie dense nutrient dense good stuff pocket. Pocket prunes.

Dang, I'm in. Julia, you rule. Your dad rules too. Tell him I say what's up. Pocket prunes. All right, let's do one more. One more. One more. Uno mas. One for the road. Okay, first of all, that is like a great voice recording to like start with. But I have like a unpopular opinion. So I love crunchy tips ahoy.

Dipped in like the spicy nacho cheese sauce. I don't know. It's something about the spicy cheese. Mixed with the chocolatey fake artificial cookie. Has to be the crunchy one. I think it was like a thing where we ate that at parties. And like pre-K and stuff. And I kind of secretly love to still eat it today i love y'all

oh we love you too and i forgot our voice message is sexy it's pretty sultry it's pretty sultry so enjoy everyone who calls 833 dog pod one uh have you ever done this and i feel like i know the exact nacho cheese she's talking about i feel like she's talking about tostitos queso this is something that you do at a you ever had like a double dare party? Not like a fear factor party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is something that your friends would make you do at a fear factor party. You'd be like, oh, gosh.

Like, oh, my God. Like, put like the tomato and then a goldfish and then like a bunch of ranch. And you're just like, oh, Brittany, you're crazy. Like, this is what this is. This is what this is. But she legitimately enjoys it. Do you think there's culinary merit in this, Nicole? A little. I can taste both things in my mouth legitimately enjoys it. Do you think there's culinary merit in this, Nicole? A little.

I can taste both things in my mouth, and it tastes like a kid's birthday party. Yeah. I get it. I understand why it exists. I don't like it, but I understand why you do it. I'm glad she mentioned the, like, artificial Chips Ahoy flavor. Like, it's almost as if there's something that exists called, like, cookie extract. Cookie.

That they put, they inject into Chips Ahoy. I love the chemically nature of a chewy Chips Ahoy. I love the chemically nature of a chewy Chips Ahoy. Oh God, the chewy Chips Ahoy, they have scienced that it is Frankenstein's monster. It's literally,

I looked up the science behind it. It's like difference in using fructose versus dextrose that keeps it Do they put plastic in it? I don't think so. I'm down to eat that plastic. If it is.

Yeah, whatever. I don't care how many microplastics, how many macroplastics, how many megaplastics end up in my stool. I'm down to eat that plastic. If it is. Yeah, whatever. I don't care how many microplastics, how many macroplastics, how many megaplastics end up in my stool I'm in. I don't think I'm ever going to start dipping Chips Ahoy into nacho cheese. I would easily do it once. I cannot imagine that I'd enjoy it. Yeah. Oreos and salsa verde.

Sign me the F up. Sign me up. Oh, man. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. And thank you so much for sending in your voicemails on 833-DOGPOD1. I got to keep saying the number. It was really awesome to hear your voices. And in future episodes, we'll still do written ones.

We still love when you all tweeted us, when you sent it to us on Instagram. But I think we all love the voicemails and they're here to stay. And make sure when you're recording, you go into a quiet place to do it. Just because we got some recordings that we couldn't quite make out. We want to hear all your lovely voices and all your terrible, terrible opinions. Go into a closet. Old radio host trick. Go into your closet.

Put empty egg cartons on the sides of your closet. Or just make sure you're not next to a freeway. No, no, no. Egg cartons. Egg cartons. Egg cartons. Anyhow, if you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opin in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday.

If you want to be featured on Opinions or like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or at HandyZotto with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. Or if you want to leave us more lovely, lovely voicemails, which we absolutely adored, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOG-POD-1. The number again is 833-DOG-POD-1. Did you say 833-DOG-POD-1? I did say 833-DOG-POD-1. For more say 833-DOG-POD-1? I did say 833-DOG-POD-1. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube

where we launch new videos every week. Y'all know the deal. See you next time.