A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Is Chocolate Technically Candy?

Episode Date: October 28, 2020

Everyone loves chocolate, but there's one question burnin' up our brains-- is chocolate candy? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. You eat pounds of it on Halloween, you get it squirted into your mocha, you gift it to your romantic partner. Everyone loves chocolate, but there's one question burning up our brains. Is chocolate candy? This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Why am I going baseball announcer? Just a bit outside. Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates.

I'm your host, Josh Yarrow. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today we're talking, is chocolate candy? Oh my gosh. Ooh, this is a toughie. This is one that I had never really thought about. A toughie? I think it's a bit of a toughie.

Really? I don't think it's that. This is one that we've been suggested a lot from people. We got this in our Instagram DMs. A few times, yeah. Gotten a lot of weirder things in our Instagram DMs, but this was one of the less weird ones that I thought was a really good one to talk about. But Nicole,

you worked in a chocolate shop. Yes, I did. A fancy one. Was it a candy shop or a chocolate shop? Okay. It was definitely a chocolate shop, but we also had confections.

Ah. But I would say the answer of, is chocolate candy? Is no, it's not. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, you know what I'm going to say. You know what I'm going to do

with the classic? In the 17th century. Oh, whoa, whoa. I mean, you know what I'm going to say. You know what I'm going to do with the classic? In the 17th century. Oh, far before the 17th century, Nicole. The roots of chocolate go back thousands of years, dating back to the Nahuatl Aztec word, xocolatl, referring to the bitter drink that was made with the cacao beans that was reserved only for kings

and the visiting conquistadors. Visiting conquistadors. Jesus, the conquering conquistadors. That was a way to wash history. The conquering conquistadors were conquistadors jesus the conquering conquistadors what that was a way to wash history the conquering conquistadors were gifted chocolatel and they said that it actually had an intoxicating almost a mollifying effect on their nerves uh no i think chocolate candy though no it's not yeah what snickers is it a candy bar or chocolate bar it's a chocolate bar it's candy bar it's a chocolate bar no way like when you give out you give out candy on halloween right you give out things no it's okay okay like yeah you can put it under

the umbrella for like kids again like i just don't think it you can have you're dumbing down your nomenclature for the children exactly nicole cares about kids i always dumb down my nomenclature for children are you kidding me you did teach like children's cooking classes i did i did and it was quite fun and I loved it very much. You still did that even when you started working here, right? You would like moonlight

on the weekends. I would. Yeah. Yeah, my favorite thing was one time I was teaching a tacos and tamales class and some kid just went elbows deep into the masa.

Just punched in like, hey, Nicole, look. And like, and then he would just lift his hand up and it was just covered in moss and i'm like well i gotta throw 10 pounds of that away that's why i don't like kids because you know that like his hand was not clean children's hands are clean yeah i would actually teach truffle rolling classes to kids too really back like when i was like 20 21 oh my

god you taught those kids how to make candy i I know, I taught them how to make chocolate truffles. Okay, what about, Josh, what about chocolate flavored candies like Tootsie Rolls, like taffy? What about that? To me, boy, does that have actual chocolate in it? Because that's- I don't know. This is not dissimilar from the, is a hot dog a sandwich debate in the sense that hot dog both refers to the meat tube as well as the finished dish inside the bun right yeah that

was the thing when when Alton Brown and I for some reason took like an entire day to try and troll Alton Brown on Twitter because I would like him to be on the podcast but I don't think he likes me anymore uh Alton Brown we love I like him he likes me he doesn't know me how can you not like someone you don't know yeah that's fair I think maybe it's just my low self-esteem I think so too I love Alton Brown uh but anyways he he tweeted, like, of course a hot dog is a sandwich. So I just tweeted a picture of a naked hot dog at him and was like, you're telling me this is a sandwich? Because, I mean, it is reasonably referred to as a hot dog in the same way that chocolate is literally like, you know, a plant. I mean, you could call it the cacao bean, but if you're talking about raw, unprocessed chocolate, that's still chocolate.

But then you kind of switch that so far over to like a Tootsie Roll, which likely has at least a little bit of real chocolate in it, not just a fake flavor extractive, I assume at least. So that like, you know, is that a chocolate? Is a lint truffle a chocolate that is made with unprocessed chocolate? Those are two distinct different things. So when you say the word chocolate, you're referring to like multiple different steps within the process. Sure. Yes. And so a lot of people don't, do you, okay. As a kid, I remember rummaging around the house looking for sweets. Cause I just, I had a little sweet tooth and I really wanted it. And I saw Hershey's like unprocessed cocoa,

unsweetened baking powder. Oh, I know what you did. And I was like, oh my God, I know what chocolate is. This says chocolate. Yeah. This must just be a sweet, delicious powdered chocolate. I'm going to put it in my mouth. And I took a huge spoonful of just dark baking cocoa and just went, and just spit it all over. Because we refer to chocolate like as, you know, Hershey's Kisses. That's a chocolate.

Yeah, it's a brand. It's a brand, yeah. Yeah, but there's actually aok trend where parents are feeding their children cocoa and then they're like chocolate chocolate and then like yeah yeah chocolate man you suck any tiktok is uh deeply troubling to me yeah have you ever seen the one where they have the water bottle and they like shake it on the kid no what oh my god yeah dude there's a weird like fine line of slightly abusive parenting on TikTok. There's a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable about TikTok.

There's certainly a lot of young people dancing in a provocative way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That just come up on your feed randomly. I deleted TikTok six months ago because it's good for my health. We have a professional TikTok. Yeah, of course. Occasionally, we'll just scroll through it. My brain can't handle all all of the like information that was like in like

seven seconds no there was just like a video of a parent feeding a child like ghost pepper no way like an infant that's that's and he was like i didn't actually feed him ghost pepper it was a joke but it was like i don't know man like it looked pretty real and kids started crying like yeah that's very strange so yeah this weird like even like, even the Jimmy Kimmel segment of taking the candy away from the kids. Yeah. It's just like, I don't know. Do you want to, like, intentionally cause distress to children for views? I mean, I don't know.

I feel like children need to experience, like, levels of, like, happiness and sadness and stuff like that. Yeah, but you shouldn't. But not with their Halloween candy. I don't think you should artificially inflate those kids' of happiness and sadness on your whims especially for jimmy kimmel i'm not a doctor i don't know anything about that but i do know about chocolate and candy and chocolate are two very different things let's get back to parenting my biggest fear is that i'm just gonna irrevocably screw a kid up you might whip by having the best intentions then just don't have

kids but then they're like he didn't take any of my candy away and i never got on kimmel now i'm messed up and now i wrote a book about it flaming my parents anyways the point is i think now chocolate has come so far that when you refer to the idea of chocolate you are referring to a sweetened bar right even like the the Webster dictionary definition of chocolate says like most likely sweetened. So I think you're referring to the processed product akin to a Hershey's bar, a Lindt truffle,

the little Dove ones that we got in the office. Do you know that my mom takes a bag of them, the milk chocolate ones, and puts them in the freezer and then every now and then I go and I take one

and it's really cold and then I read the little note that says, you deserve this. And then I roll it up in a ball. Girl, you do deserve this. And then I roll and I take one and then uh and it's really cold and then I read the little note that says you deserve this and then I roll it up in a ball girl you do deserve and I roll it up in a ball and I throw it over the balcony this that was just a long way to say that you you casually litter hey often it's okay it's pretty it's blue have you ever had I've always wanted to to try the original hashtag drinkc drink, Chocolato. There's a place that called Choco Vivo that does ceremonial chocolate.

Is that in like Culver City-ish? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do ceremonial chocolate drinking experiences. We used to do stuff at the chocolate store I used to work at. We used to do ceremonial chocolate stuff too sometimes. Very weird. chocolate store i used to work at we used to do ceremonial chocolate stuff too sometimes very weird like they like really fetishize chocolate as like this like amazing like supernatural like it is and it and it is but i feel like people like co-op that i know what you mean it's like um oh god there's like a lot of white dudes slinging matcha matcha tea now oh yeah yeah yeah that's sure i think especially like using the term ceremonial grade yeah matcha and whatnot yeah um and i have been to an actual matcha tea ceremony

it was in beverly hills tempura endo i got a free meal there oh my gosh you went to temporal endo and you didn't tell me you're mean this is a long time ago i went bad boss i it was i would not accept many free meals unless it was something i wanted, which, yeah, wow, what a moral hero. I didn't do a thing unless I really wanted to. But it was like a $350 tempura tasting menu experience. I know tempura endo. Have you been? No.

I'm not going to spend $350 on tempura. I'm sorry. It was pretty cool, dude. They'd like swish it in the tempura, and then the chef would just hand it to you, and I'd just pluck in this truffle-stuffed tempura scallopop at this dude's hands and they have like the yuzu salt and all that uh but they did a matcha tea ceremony but anyways there is a coffee shop um in boyle heights that is like trying to make the uh chocolatel as accurately as possible that's awesome as they did

in like the aztec days including with like like the aguamiel, like the natural sweetener. That's awesome. That sounds really cool. And it's funny because now, you know, people think of chocolate as a European thing, right? Swiss chocolate, French chocolate, all this. Yeah, that's incorrect. It is. Yeah. I mean, that stuff was all just like colonized and brought over, but that becomes our kind of like main frame of reference right now.

And especially when we're talking about candy making and chocolatiering and all that stuff, like you think of the French tradition, which the chocolate making and candy making are two very, very distinct skill sets. Yeah. Like I'm not going to put a truffle, a beautiful Krug champagne truffle, dusted in beautiful 90% cocoa with a gummy worm and say, these are the same. I'm not going to say that. But they do have similarities in a way. Just because they are fortified with sugar? They're fortified with sugar, but also the way that I think you eat them as like a treat. Like it's not a meal.

Because if you look at like patisserie, right? Sure. Like pastry stuff. Yeah. Like that can be eaten as a snack, whatever. But that is like a very, very common breakfast all across. I mean, also all across like Mexico, you look at like conchas and all that stuff.

Yeah, pan dulces. Mexico, you look at like conchas and all that stuff. Yeah, pan dulces. Yeah, pan dulces. Yeah, so, you know, pastry making is a lot to do with an actual meal, whereas I think candy making and chocolatiering, which I do consider like part of the same thing, they're just little like little treats, right?

They're literally like confections. It's like a fun little- They're confections. They're lollies. But they're different. There's so much like artisanal knowledge that you have to have to be able to create gummy candies and confections. And then on the flip side, the same thing with chocolate. Have you ever tempered chocolate? No.

It's the worst experience in the world. Sola, save us. It's the worst. If you don't know how to. Okay. Tempering chocolate is honestly a headache. Like it's all dependent on. What does tempering chocolate actually do?

So it creates a really beautiful snap and texture whenever you coat it with something. So you like take it to a certain degree and then you bring it down and then you bring it back up and then you like swish it about like on a surface. I haven't done it in a long time, as you can tell. But it like really helps make this beautiful, like snappy, shiny chocolate. I made a chocolate covered baseball cap once. What's a baseball cap? Baseball cap.

A hat? Yeah. Do you not call it a baseball cap? It's a hat. Are all hats baseball caps? This is a hot dog is a sandwich. No, like I'm literally with this baseball cap. It's like a hat with a brim on it.

Is that an Outback Steakhouse hat? Give me that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Shout out to the Outback Steakhouse. We made a Bloomin' Onion Cheeseburger. It's sweaty. Yeah, it's pretty sweaty. I ran this morning.

We made a Bloomin' Onion Cheeseburger on TikTok, and then Outback sent me a hat and some other stuff. I do love the Outback. So good day, mates. What about caramel? Is caramel a candy? Of course mates. What about caramel? Is caramel a candy? Of course. Or is it a caramel?

Here's another, here's another, another brain buster for you. When you refer to something as a candy, I think it is like a finished dish. In a way, a candy has a sense of completion to it. As in like, is a chocolate chip a candy? No. But is a Hershey's Kiss a candy no what's a chocolate okay is uh is this a snag is a reese's cup of candy right yeah a little bit that's that's what i'm saying but i'm saying there's a sense of completion to it like you have made an all-inclusive snack sort of thing, snack, treat, whatever, right? That you're like supposed to eat.

So like the less, the kind of more raw and less finished something is, the less likely you are to call it a candy. Like to me, like a straight up Hershey's bar versus a Hershey's cookies and cream bar. Like a Hershey's bar. Are those different to you? Like a Hershey's bar, I don't consider like a candy in a way. Even though I said that chocolate is candy and whatever,

I'm still trying to reason this out in my mind because to me i'm like no a candy has some sort of effort put into it you don't think chocolate has f are you kidding me some sort of some sort of like mental effort to like it's like if you got a sandwich that was plain bread uh-huh i'd be or even butter on bread i'd be like that's buttered bread. That ain't a sandwich. In between two slices of bread is just butter? Yeah. That's a butter sandwich. See, but I wouldn't consider that a sandwich in the sense that someone's like, yo, I'm going to go eat a sandwich.

And then you just get a butter sandwich. Have you ever? That's like some Great Depression era stuff. Are you kidding me? And the butter's cut with sawdust. Do you know what I have in the morning? And you got to wait in line to get a job at the mill. Do you know what me and my family do in the mornings?

You take a piece of bread and then you take a piece of cold butter and then you have tea on the side with some sugar and you eat the butter sandwiches well yeah i'm not i'm not denying that bread and butter is a great food the other day in the kitchen when trevor made those loaves of bread we just sat there and slathered it in butter and really good bread i still have the bread really it's still oh no i made a torta with the bread yeah i saw it was good i still got got that guaca salsa in the fridge. Guaca salsa. Guaca salsa. Speaking of guaca salsa, just a thin avocado salsa to me, wow, what a treat. What a treat.

So fun to make at home. Oh, yeah. Anyways, the point is I think candy has a sense of completion to it. As in a Hershey's cookies and cream bar to me is a candy,

whereas a Hershey's bar itself is not. Even a Hershey's crackle bar, you put a couple little Rice Krispie thingies inside of a thing. I think that then becomes a candy. There has to be some sort of addition to the chocolate

for it to be a candy. That makes no sense. I can't rationalize what you're saying right now at all. In the same way that I feel, and I feel the definition of candy has evolved. If you look at Willy Wonka. Yes. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

This is not, we stan sexy Willy Wonka. Have you seen sexy willy wonka on on tiktok i'm gonna google it no there's a guy on tiktok he's like a very sexy man and he dresses like willy he dresses like chart like johnny depp's willy wonka this guy yeah yeah yeah it's sexy willy wonka yeah it's it's really jarring uh but i i watched a lot of his videos. He is quite sexy. But anyways, in this song, the Candyman can, in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, that is not Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which is the original name of the book,

and also the Johnny Depp movie, the Candyman implies that marshmallows are a standalone candy. Stop. Oh, my God. He has an OnlyFans. Oh, my God. He has an OnlyFans. Stop.

This is a work laptop. Can I have the company card for like five minutes? No, we're not getting OnlyFans. Stop, close it. This is a work laptop. Can I have the company card for like five minutes? No, we're not getting OnlyFans. If it's for research, I think we can. Also, guys, go to OnlyHams.org. OnlyHams. We don't know what we're going to do with the website yet. Please write in the comments, wherever they may be,

what you want to see on OnlyHams.com. I mean,.org. Yeah, OnlyHams.org. Personally, I just want to see Josh picking up some hams just throwing the hams across the room shirt maybe apron possibly

yeah it'll be like a cropped apron though what's a cropped apron you cropped it you cut it off at the midline that defeats the purpose of the apron

yeah no but it's sexy like sexy when they walk in how hard is he walking around I got the jorts and I got the cropped apron and I'm holding the hams, baby.

Go to onlyhams.org. Just like, have you ever seen people work out with those like big like juggler things? Have you ever seen those like big batons? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just swinging them around. Just swinging the hams? Just swinging the hams. I like this idea. What were we talking about? Was chocolate candy? Willy Wonka. Also, is a marshmallow candy to you?

Oh my God, is it? No, it's like a confection. But see? What's a confection? A confection is the overarching umbrella. And then there's chocolate, candy, etc. Chocolate, candy, etc. And that's all under the umbrella of confection.

I would say so. I think you can raise candy to that umbrella term. I think confection is just like, you know, a pedantic word to describe candy. Hmm. You know what I'm saying? Maybe. It might be. I think under candies, you have,

under candy as the overarching, I am physically making an umbrella. We're both hands overhead making an umbrella motion. I wish we had this recorded right now. We have candy at the top and then you have gummy candies. making an umbrella. We're both hands overhead making an umbrella motion. I wish we had this recorded right now. It's so funny. We have candy at the top and then you have gummy candies. You have caramels.

You have chocolate bars. What's toffee? What? Toffee is part of the caramel family. But what if it's coated in chocolate? Well, then I think, of course, then you have, you know,

sort of like mixed phenotypes and that's fine. But there's a Venn diagram. There's a Venn diagram. But all under the umbrella of candy. And then you have sort of like mixed phenotypes, and that's fine. But there's a Venn diagram. There's a Venn diagram. But all under the umbrella of candy. And then you have your hard candies, right? Licorice you could maybe throw into the gummy, chewy candy line. Throw it in the garbage.

What about gum? Is gum candy? Gum is candy. They sell it at candy stores. Gum's candy? You don't even eat gum. That's BS. Gum ain't no candy.

Gum is candy. What about chocolate-covered gum? I never had chocolate-covered gum because I'm not a monster. I have had chocolate-covered gummy bears, and those are my favorite thing in the whole entire universe. What a clash of flavors and textures. It's terrible. Well, yeah, there's a clash. That's so weird.

Maybe because they're different. I'm convinced that chocolate covered gummy bears are the best sweet ever. Oh, sweet. Really? Sweets. They're all sweets. Sweets. Also known as candy.

Okay. If you're under the age of 65, you don't? Sweets. They're all sweets. Sweets. Also known as candy. If you're under the age of 65, you don't call them sweets, you call them candies. Oh, they're lollies! Let's go to the lolly shop! Yeah, they're all under the umbrella of lollies, Nicole. I've got my fizzy wing baggings! Let's go to the pharmacy!

Get an egg cream at a lolly. Hold up, dude. Egg creams are fire, though. For those of you who don't know what egg cream is, it's just like heavy cream chocolate syrup in soda. There's no egg. Yeah, it's just milk soda, right? Yeah, I think so. I grew up drinking Pepsi mixed with milk. Wow. It says a lot. That's crazy.

Do you know, does that, but it curdles after like three minutes yeah no because the acid that does not interest but that was like a treat i grew up we didn't call it a treat that was like a treat my mom would be like you want some like hey you seem sad you want some pepsi milk and i'd be like yeah shut up when when i described so many things from my childhood it just seems like i told a story yesterday about my brother like blackmailing a waitress from rubies who was also my babysitter or something. I don't know.

It seems more messed up than it was. It was fine. I had a good time. Dude, he was a child blackmailing a waitress. Yeah, whatever. I mean, not like hardcore. We got some Ruby's gift certificates out of it. Does Ruby's exist anymore?

I don't know what Ruby's is. They're on piers everywhere. I've never been to a Ruby's. They're like a 50s diner. No, I've been to Johnny Rockets, though. My brother also worked at Johnny Rockets. He did. He're like on piers everywhere. I've never been to Rubies. They're like a 50s diner. No, I've been to Johnny Rockets though. Oh, Johnny Rockets. My brother also worked at Johnny Rockets.

He did. You told me he had long hair. I met Joe Millionaire. Who? Joe Millionaire. You don't know Joe Millionaire. It was a reality show on Fox

where they had a bunch of women competing to marry a millionaire named Joe and he was real sexy. Oh, and then he wasn't a millionaire. Yeah, and they found

he was a construction worker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just like a construction worker working on a project across from Johnny Rockets. This is long after the show had aired and I walked into Johnny Rockets and there is Joe Millionaire.

I can't believe you remember that. Still sexy, wearing a full construction outfit. Was he wearing a Willy Wonka costume? No, he should have been. Josh, I don't understand

why you don't understand that chocolate and candy are different. You just said they're a clash. No, I said chocolate and gummies clash. Candy is the overarching umbrella term for all of this. No, sweets. It's not. So what is a candy to you?

A candy is... You ever had dots? Yes, dots are garbage. Dots are a hard candy under the umbrella of candy. Dots are hard. You're thinking of candy sheets. What are the ones where you have to

rip the little things off the paper and you eat a lot of paper? It's the sheet of rippable candy. Dots are a gummy candy. They look like pimples. They do. It's a very Dr. Pimple Popper thing. Yeah.

And they're called candy buttons. Yeah, candy buttons are trash, but they're a hard candy. Yes. I'm saying all of these, like when you can literally add an adjective to a word to create, you know, a different meaning and subgroup, then that means that candy is the overarching umbrella term. You have a hard candy. You have gummy candy.

You have chocolate candy. All these is to say- I don't think chocolate candy is correct because if I say, hey, do you want a chocolate candy? And then I give you a truffle versus I give you a Tootsie Pop, like those chocolate candy means something totally different

than what you're trying to say. Big oof. I know, I realized that right when I said that. I was like, oh no. Yeah, a chocolate candy is a chocolate. But what about like a chocolate candy bar? Why does the term candy bar seem to imply something? Because the Three Musketeers, right?

Yeah. Like that's a chocolate candy bar. It's a chocolate bar. It's not. You would not call. You would poo-poo the term candy bar to describe a Three Musketeers. Hey, can you get me a candy bar? What do you think of a candy bar as

payday you were able to pick the one without chocolate also one of my favorite abizab is taffy also one of my favorite candy bars ever is a payday ew i know everyone everyone hates it but you're the one who likes grape nut cereal over like cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yeah, because I believe in fiber being very, very important. And Americans do not recognize how important fiber is in their diets. That is true. I love the simplicity of a payday. It's like they know who they are.

They don't need to add anything. Also, people don't seem to understand that the chocolate candy bar taxonomy. Like if you take a Three Musketeers and you add caramel that becomes a milky way you add peanuts to that that becomes the snickers if you take away the caramel and you add nougat that becomes a baby ruth you take the chocolate off of baby ruth that's a payday they're all the same nicole yeah but i think i think give me a chocolate bar versus give me a candy bar i think the chocolate bar is a bar of chocolate a candy bar like a bar of pure chocolate like yo this recipe calls for three chocolate bars as opposed to like candy bars

damn it which are predominantly chocolate i understand that there's like addition to it but the word bar hey can you get me a candy from the can you get me a candy from the bucket like give me or can you get me a chocolate from the bucket trick Like, give me, or can you get me a chocolate from the bucket? Trick or treat bucket, by the way. Okay, I thought there was just a, I was trying to picture a random bucket. Like our oil bucket in the kitchen. Like, go reach your hand in the oil bucket, see if you fish for some candy. No, no, no, like, like, like if I went trick or treating, which, yeah, I'm 27. I might just go trick or treating this year.

I'm just going to go around to the different studios around here. I'm just going to go egg houses, but just Rhett and Lynx. That's funny but imagine like you go trick-or-treating and there's a big orange face of of a bucket and then i go hey can you get me a candy from the bucket and then uh you give me a snickers and i think that's incorrect really and i say hey can you get me a chocolate from the bucket and then you give me a chocolate from the bucket? And then you give me a pack of dots. That's wrong. No, but if you're saying get me some chocolate from a bucket, that's the same thing as saying get me like some gummies from the bucket because the bucket is filled with candy and you need to differentiate what kind of candy you want to let me give you

the optimal experience. So if you said like, get me a chocolate, I got you dots. Obviously, I would be incorrect. But if you just said get me a candy and did not specify choosing dots or Snickers, I would be correct in doing that. No. If you had a preference, you would tell me. In the same way that like, I mean, road trip test. No, I knew you were going to bring up the road trip. I literally wrote it here. Josh, what did I say? Josh is

a whole man. You know how you talk about the road trip rule? Let's talk about the five-year-old rule. What's the five-year-old rule? Okay, well, road trip rule, road trip rule. If we're talking about the road trip rule let's talk about the five-year-old rule what's the five-year-old okay well road trip road trip rule if we're talking about the idea if we're on a road trip we bring this up a lot and you said get me a sandwich you came back with a hot dog yeah however if you were so unpicky as to just say get me a sandwich who the heck just says a sandwich get me a sandwich get me a ham sandwich get me an egg salad sandwich get me you know whatever if they don't have that get me the next best thing.

You know, then that's your fault. If you didn't specify what kind of sandwich you want, that's your fault. If you didn't specify what type of candy you want, but obviously you had a preference. So Snickers is absolutely candy. But I, another point that just disagrees with my entire argument, the chocolate is not the part of Snickers that makes it candy. That's what I'm saying. I know. And now I'm realizing that I disagree with you the whole time. That's Snickers that makes it candy. That's what I'm saying. I know. And now I'm realizing that I disagree with you the whole time.

That's exactly. Chocolate ain't candy. Chocolate is a part of candy. But see, now I agree with what you said. Did we just switch? I hate you. Let's switch chairs. Let's switch chairs.

No, no, no. I don't want to. I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable. Wait, you're so annoying because I just totally believe that chocolate is candy now. Yeah. But now I've completely switched that chocolate is candy now. Yeah. But now I've completely switched the other way. I hate you.

Because the chocolate is literally almost a part of candy that takes it away and farther away from being candy. That's what I thought. But now I think it's all encompassing and it all belongs together. Because if you said like, get me a candy, like if road trip, we're at 7-Eleven. Sour Patch Kids. I got to pee pee even though most 7-Elevens don't have bathrooms, which is a candy, like, road trip. We're at 7-Eleven. We stop. Sour Patch Kids. I got to pee-pee, even though most 7-Elevens don't have bathrooms, which is a thing you'll learn living in a city. Sure.

Because you try and pee in 7-Elevens. Yeah. Anyways, and I go, like, hey, grab some candy. And you come out with just, like, pure chocolates. That'd be wrong. I'd be pretty pissed. Yeah, but then if I say, bring me a candy, and it's Sour Patch Kids, I'd be very happy. But if you brought me a Snickers, I would also be happy.

See, that's what I'm saying. I think the word bar is like tripping us up. But not even bars because so many of those candy bars now have like many little versions that aren't in bar form. Like Snickers bites. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Is that a candy? Is that a candy?

I think that is a candy. But that said, so are payday bites. And paydays don't have chocolate do you see what i'm saying so it is literally like it is a chocolate coated candy the candiness is on the inside of it the chocolate is merely the wrapper in the vessel it's like how gum is not paper it just comes wrapped in it so i believe that chocolate is candy. We literally just switched. Chocolate ain't no candy. Chocolate is a very important part to many candies. Chocolate is under the umbrella of candy.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think so. Maggie! Chocolate. Maggie, help! Maggie! Help!

We tangled ourselves in a knot. You ever see like two kids on a soccer field where they just keep kicking the ball, but they're kicking at the same time. So they're stubbing their toes against each other. That's where we ended up here. I'm in an entanglement. Which is not a bad thing. Yeah.

I think that's totally fine. And when it comes down to it, chocolate, like it's just a plant. Yes. It's a plant. It's a fruit. Chocolate's a fruit. Chocolate's a fruit. It's got seeds.

Yep. It's a fruit. You can make a chocolate salad. Yum. You can make a chocolate fondue. You can make, you know, fondue. Fondue, just chocolate soup. But I think we should find out exactly what our answer is.

It's chocolate candy on three. One, two, three. No. Wow. We just completely switched. Chocolate isn't candy. I mean, I think most people actually agree with that by the numbers or some polls taken. But I think the larger umbrella of candy does encompass many different things and really chocolate it's in

your own heart and it's what you take away from children so you can get clout from jimmy kimmel and nicole that now that's the real candy well nicole that was your stomach rumbling oh my god I'm hungry she speaks I'm hungry oh are you hungry Nicole drink this Red Bull it'll help

I'm so embarrassed Nicole we've heard what you and I have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse it's time for a segment we call Opinions are Like Casseroles! Alright, starting off with Darby Roseblood.

What? Cool name. Cheese is the best dairy product. Uh, yeah. I love cheese. I could eat cheese every day, but I'm lactose intolerant, but I still eat it every day. No one'm lactose intolerant, but I still eat it every day. No one eats more cheese than lactose intolerant people. That's true. Which is wild to me.

It would be like if someone was like, I'm allergic to peanuts, but I can't stop sucking down peanut butter. Like I stab myself with an EpiPen. The thing is, we're not allergic, we're intolerant. So like we can take an enzyme called lactate. I don't know what lactate. I just eat lactate pills.

And then I just go down to the cheese town. I dig on cheese. I think cheese culture is very fun. I respect the fact that people have put millions of hours of work and blah, blah, blah into it. But I don't know, dude. I eat so much yogurt. You eat yogurt. I eat a lot of yogurt.

I'm a big yogurt guy. That's because you're healthy. Well, not healthy, but like. Yeah. You're aware. My own version of. You're like conscious of like your fat content you consume yeah i think i just i grew up with too many bags of shredded mexican blend cheese which with the anti-caking agent on it yeah and so i think i just have this like kind of aversion to like people piling shredded like low quality cheese on things that said i

love american cheese so who am i to talk i love. I love all cheeses. And then give me some, ooh, do we got some Gruyere in the fridge? I know we do. I'm going to get my burrito for lunch. Okay, noriana.e.j. Beignets are the best

pastry to ever be created. Interesting. So I disagree. I'm a big fan of cheese danishes. You are a big cheese danish fan. Speaking of cheese,

I love cheese danishes. These are my favorite. You ever go to Copenhagen pastry in Culver City i've never been to are you sure it's you mean rock wagner no no no no dude copenhagen i've never been oh my god so uh they their whole thing is they just make like dope danishes and of all different varieties they are so light and flaky and they're actually like danes who have it oh fantastic cute little storefront um when shout out to uh one of my favorite my favorite og food podcaster zach brooks at midtown lunch he uh brought renee red zeppi to uh to copenhagen pastry which is funny because if renee red zeppi came to town he was doing his podcast called food is the new rock and most

people you know when hosting renee red zeppi would try and take him to like vespertine or one of the fanciest restaurants in la and zach was like yo we're going to this danish little shop in culver city and renee redzepi was like yeah it's not the best but it's not every danish is the best in denmark so it's great that's yeah what a nice guy yeah i like costco danishes uh that said no i'm a big fan of fried dough. Beignets, not my favorite form of fried dough per se. I do, man, crullers when they're good. Crullers are good. Crullers are really good. Yeah.

Fried like choux pastry. Oh, yeah. That's good. Beignets, I don't find meaningfully different enough from American donuts. And I think I just prefer American donuts. I don't like powdered sugar. I like a glaze. That makes sense.

Yeah. So beignets for me, not the best. But fried dough in general, yup. At Andrea Twin 2, croutons are just thick crackers. That's just factually inaccurate. Croutons are bread. They're bread. Toasted bread.

Crackers are unleavened. Croutons are leavened. I see what you're saying, functionally speaking, sure. Also, if you eat crackers as snacks, people look at you weird when you just eat croutons as snacks, which I believe is very unfair. Do you know that my mom wouldn't buy crackers? eat crackers as snacks. People look at you weird when you just eat croutons as snacks, which I believe is very unfair. Do you know that my mom wouldn't buy crackers? So like I would eat croutons?

Yeah. In place of crackers? Good. Like just handfuls of Caesar. Dude, they're so good. Just dipping croutons in dressing. That's one that's called a salad. No, no. I would just take them

and utilize them as a cracker. Yeah, which- I don't dip it in dressing. as a cracker. Yeah, which you do cracker. I don't dip it in dressing. It's like a salsa. It's like chips and salsa. Dip in croutons and Caesar dressing and eat them. You didn't do that as a kid? Not Caesar dressing.

I would dip it in cream cheese, I think. No, that makes sense, too. I have issues. More cheese. More cheese. Give me the cheese. Every single one of these is going to have to do with cheese. I'm going to tell you right now.

Okay, Skyler underscore Sue Herland says, Captain Morgan with Mountain Dew tastes like cream soda. Guess I got to try it out to find out. Maggie, Maggie, get the captain. Maggie. I have drank this exact drink. Is it good? Captain Morgan spiced dark rum, and it does taste like cream soda. I think it's the sensation that we were talking about yesterday where you tasted some sort of extracty thing and you were like, this tastes like vanilla.

What was that? It was the key lime. The key lime LaCroix. And I was like, I don't think it actually tastes like vanilla. I think it tastes like that potent chemical, the vanillin or castoreum extract. Yeah. That they put in all extracts that just give it this like weird heady aroma that people often associate with things like cream soda or vanilla. And so I think you just get the alcohol combined with the Mountain Dew artificial flavor chemicals. And I think your mind reads it as cream soda, where what you're really tasting is just like bizarre olfactory confusion. That said, crack dark captain. Does Captain Morgan make Kraken?

I don't know. Like the black rum? I've had Kraken before. I've had Kraken before. I drank so much Kraken mixed with like squirt. Everyone did. Do you remember Ruby Red Squirt? No.

There was a red squirt called Ruby Red Squirt and I haven't been able to find it in a long time and I miss Ruby Red Squirt. Is your stomach rumbling again? Nicole pushed through. I need a snack. I need some croutons. Get some croutons.

I need some croutons. Can we, for the podcast, can we have like a bowl need some croutons. Get some croutons. I need some croutons. Can we, for the podcast, can we have like a bowl of emergency croutons just in the center of the table? I'm hungry. Okay. Also, to be clear, this is the first time we're recording at 9.30 a.m. instead of 12.30, and no one knows how it happened. We all just showed up, and we're like, yo, does someone have a meeting later? Why are we recording early? And everyone's just like, I don't know. It showed up on the calendar, so we're like yo are you like does someone have a meeting later why are we recording early and everyone's just like i don't know it showed up on the

calendar so we're all here so that explains nicole's eating habits so embarrassed oh this is i agree with this paul along the watchtower great name great name butter pecan pancake syrup is where it's at maple syrup is trash i don't agree maple syrup is trash butter pecan pancake syrup they have it at IHOP. Oh, it's one of the things I was thinking. I'm like, wait a second. I've definitely seen that somewhere, but I didn't know where.

Yeah, and I don't think it's like a common thing at all. And again, it is just pure artificial flavor extracts. And it is so freaking good. It tastes like the ice cream. Yeah, IHOP has, I believe, is it boysenberry, strawberry, old fashioned maple and butter pecan. I like the ice cream. Yeah, IHOP has, I believe, is it boysenberry, strawberry, old-fashioned maple, and butter pecan. I like the boysenberry. I don't know.

The sour syrups. I mean, I eat so much frozen blueberry syrup on things in the morning. Yeah, you sure do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All our pans are stained blue and purple in the kitchen because of butter pecan pancake syrup. Fire. IHOP, fire. Do you hear that?

It's unreal. Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with fire. I hop fire. Do you hear that? It's unreal. Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. I don't know what to do.

Okay. Amana Naveed. Forks are the ultimate utensil. I'm going to say spoon. Bruh. I like a spoon. Bruh. Fork.

How can it be the ultimate utensil when the spork exists? Oh, yeah, spork, spork, spork. You're right. You can't eat no damn soup with no fork. You know what I'm going to say? What? Quick transition. Knife.

Knife is very important. Because you can stab and eat with a knife as you do a fork. I do that. I feel like an old pioneer. Yeah, you can peel stuff. You can stabby stab. You can cut into little pieces. If you get a special kind of knife that has a little divot, maybe you can use it as a spoon if you're really desperate.

I think forks are actually the worst utensil. Yeah, I agree. I hardly use forks for literally anything. I just use them to whip up my eggs and you get mad. Yeah, that's true. Use a whisk. A whisk is a better utensil. I think the ultimate, it all depends what kinds of foods you're eating.

If you're someone that eats like a chicken breast with like, you know, a big old hunk of broccoli that you have to like cut into and stab. Sure. Like all my meals are like either sandwiches or wet. They're either wets or sandwiches. You stewify your meals. Yeah. Every meal is stewified with like, either if it's like fricking, I don't know, water

burger sauce or yogurt. Something happens where it's just wet food. Gotta get me stewified. Crack. Anyone disturb stewified? Oh, that's a reference no one's going to get. Anyways, no, the Filipino spoon fork combo. That's where it's at.

You use the fork to push the stew and rice onto the spoon and then you eat it. Shout out to our Pinay and Pinoy audience. Yes, we love you. At Aman Navaveed again, the TikTok cloud bread isn't really bread. Correct. Correct, correct, correct. Correct. But it gets into a semantic issue,

where it's like if you're using it as bread, you know, does it technically, could you be allowed to call it that? Also, if you say cloud bread before that, does the modifier of cloud mean that you understand it's not a bread? You know, it's like calling something like a radish tortilla. It's like, obviously you understand it's not a bread? It's a meringue. It's like calling something like a radish tortilla.

It's like, obviously, we know it's not a tortilla. You just cut the radish real thin and form stuff around it. But yeah, cloud bread sucks is the main thing. Yeah, it's gross. I don't understand it. Except for the recipe that Nicole made on Mythical Kitchen. That's great. I forgot you did that.

You're mean. It was good. It was egg bread. It was good. I believe you. Okay. You're mean. It was good. It was egg bread. It was good. I believe you. Okay. Strong Beer 75. Great names.

These names are just so impressive to me. Finishing salts and crunchy salts on top are disgusting. This is rude as hell. I agree with him. I agree with him. Oh, my God. Are you kidding? Season your damn food.

Are you kidding me? There is nothing? I've had dishes ruined by finishing salts. Are you? Oh, my God. I have dishes ruined by finishing salts. Are you? Oh my god. I have at least 25 finishing salts at home. I put flaky salt, malt and salt, all that. No. Season your damn food. There's nothing wrong

with seasoning your food, but a little pop of that salty, beautiful, crystalline composition is like next level. It depends on the dish. I do love a little bit of flaky salt on bread and unsalted butter. I prefer uns a little bit of flaky salt on like bread and unsalted butter. Like I prefer unsalted butter with a flaky salt on it. But anything else, Nicole is physically holding her stomach, trying to will it to stop grumbling.

She's crying and cackling. What's wrong with me? But no, I've had so many dishes where like it tastes like you're eating sand because there's so much finishing salt on it. No, I love finishing salt, dude. Nah. I think it's beautiful. I think it's expansive. I love I'm a hoe for finishing salts.

Alright, at I think this is French. Etret. Etret. Etret. Etret. Try this. Love this. Try this. Grilled cheese sandwich with bacon slash chicken poured with red enchilada sauce. So yummy. I believe it. Yeah. That to me sounds better than grilled cheese and tomato bacon slash chicken poured with red enchilada sauce so yummy I believe it

yeah that to me sounds better than grilled cheese and tomato soup yeah just dipping it in hot enchilada sauce I think that's really good

you get that little kind of burnt flavor on it I think that sounds delicious you do good enchilada sauce you gotta fry the chilies in oil and kind of burn them mmhmm that's very true

I just buy the jarred stuff when I just cross my fingers and pray to god I was in like an hour Uber ride with a woman who like ran me through her entire enchilada sauce recipe. That's nice. And she's like sells enchiladas on the side and she's like trying to bottle her sauce

and it sounded really dope. And she like learned from her like grandma like in Mexico. Man, I was just enthralled. And then she told me a lot about her divorce. All right. The last one of the day. The Black Chador 19, uh, nine. Black Luchador. Oh. What did I day. The Black Chador 19... Nine... Black Luchador.

Oh. What did I say? The Black Luchador. The Black... Okay. I'm sorry. Why are these names so cool? The Black Luchador 9001 says,

Strawberry Jalapeno Jelly Slaps. It's a baller combo with anything you use jelly for. Eh, it's good on a cheese board. It's not that sweet. Yeah. Eh, it's good on a cheese board. It's not that sweet. Yeah, I think it's got its uses. I think for me, at some point, I love spicy food. So do I. I grew up eating it, but at some point I realized

not everything gotta be spicy. I do like the grassiness of the jalapeno that does kind of cut through the strawberry. Shout out to TechGuyFromSmoshTim as featured in the TechGuyFromSmoshTim video on Smosh. He brought us some really delicious jalapeno strawberry jelly that I do love. But, I mean, if I'm like midday treat just want a PB&J, I think I'm skipping the jalapeno.

Me too. I think there's a time and place for this. Time and place. That's on a cheese board. Wait, hold on. One more. Tom for 87. Sun-dried tomatoes are just Italian-flavored raisins.

Yeah, I see no lies. I don't see any lies there. That's just true. The Italians eat them like raisins too. They give them to kids on Halloween at the new houses. That's so funny. That's a good one. I agree with that. I agree with that. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or nhandizadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pics of your dishes,

hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. See you next time. Nicole, go get some dang breakfast. I need a snack! We'll make an egg! Let's just do it again. Wait, if I put my stomach next to the microphone... ASMR, let's get weird, let microphone. ASMR, let's get weird. Let's get weird. Let's get weird.

Stop slapping your stomach. Come on. This is weird for me now. I don't like this. Can I go home? It's not happening.