A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Is Cold Brew Coffee A Scam?

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Cold Brew, NFTs, Josh's uncle-- ALL SCAMS! Be sure to check out Josh tell-all on the latest episode of Trevor Talks Too Much on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hey Nicole, what do cold brew NFTs and my uncle's ostrich farming business have in common? You literally don't have an uncle. That's right, they're all scams. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Err. And I'm your host, Nicole Anaiti. And it turns out the real scam was that I don't have an uncle. Yeah. Why did you lie about that? You don't have any uncles?

I don't know. Do you have aunts? Yeah, I got my aunt Barb. We call her Nana, though. She lives in Jacksonville, Florida, because she got very cold in Pennsylvania. And she was like, you know what? I'm just going to go to Jacksonville. I don't even have any friends in Jacksonville. I can make friends.

And you know what, Nicole? She made like one. Oh, yeah. She got Maureen. That's good. Anyway, today we're talking about cold brew coffee and how I'm going to cop up to it. I think it's a scam. How can you think of drink as a scam? What do you mean? Like most drinks are scams. Wine is a scam. Liquor's a scam. How can you think of drink as a scam?

What do you mean? Like most drinks are scams. Wine is a scam. Liquor is a scam. And cold brew, Nicole, is the next thing to come in and scam everybody out of their hard run. Okay. Tell me your logic.

I'll tell you a couple of reasons why. Because one, Nicole, when I say cold, if I were to tell the average person, I'm going to drink a cold brew coffee, do you think they could explain to me the process in which that is made? Do you think that that is very transparent? I can give you a very succinct answer to that. Not you, but I'm saying like the average person, the average Joe out there. Yes, average cup of Joe, yeah.

No, of course they know what it is. It's common knowledge now. But do you think that the process of cold brewing is actually making the drink better as opposed to hot brewing and then icing it down? Better? Well, but not only better, it's also more expensive. Cold brew coffee is more expensive than iced coffee used to be. Well, because the time it takes to brew it, it takes longer to brew. For those of you that don't know, cold brew coffee is typically a 12 to 24 hour process.

You take a coffee that is ground. I prefer to do it in a, not a fine ground, but like a coarse ground. Nice little coarse ground. And then I pour cold water over it and then I leave it in the fridge. And then 12 to 24 hours later, you have cold brew. You know what I do? What's the problem? No, I have a $20 Mr. Coffee machine and I put coffee beans in there and I put water in there.

And then after seven minutes, Nicole, it percolates, it boils in there. And then you put it in there and then you put it in the freezer for three hours. Then you accidentally shatter a glass. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that happens to me a lot. Yeah, yeah. But no, like iced coffee was always a thing, but it was like a little bit more niche. It was like a cool, sexy thing that Starbucks is selling these giant iced coffees.

I guess this was before my coffee drinking time because iced coffee has always been in the, what's it called? Zeitgeist for me at least. Yeah, yeah. But then like cold brew comes along and now it is the de facto cold coffee beverage of choice, but I vastly prefer- Is it?

Okay, not only is it the de facto cold coffee beverage, we got some stats here because Nicole, this is a research-based podcast. Hell yeah. 2015, there were, this is when Starbucks launched cold brew. So it was still definitely in the zeitgeist, but cold brew market share $110 million per year. In 2020, that tripled to $310.

That is literally projected to triple again by 2025. It is a 25% market growth over a year. So between 2015 and 2025, you're going from $110 million to $944 million. That's absolutely bonkers. Okay, have you done it for coffee, though, like iced coffee? No, but I'm saying it's not. You're saying you're a research-based show. Okay, people aren't drinking nine times the amount of coffee that they used to, though, right?

Like it's cold brew specifically and specifically RTD cold brew that's ready to drink like things in the grocery store. Oh, well, obviously because it's pre-made it's really you don't need to you don't need to brew it i thought you're talking about the average person who makes their own coffee no no no so this is like uh including ready-made and in coffee shops and all that it's like just like total market cap on all this that's cool i don't think it's a scam for that exact reason okay you were talking about how it takes more time to make cold brew coffee a little it also takes more time to make cold brew coffee. A little. Sure.

It also takes more beans to make cold brew coffee. That's okay. So it's like two. But you're driving up the price of coffee. No, no, no. But you're also concentrating it and you can cut that with milk or water. Not true. Not true.

You're lying. You don't hold on. I will say. You're lying to the people. I will say. You do not have to cut cold. Well, for medical reasons, you should cut cold brew concentrate. You need to cut your cold brew concentrate.

If not, you will go blind. Yeah. Yeah. So here, fun little story time real quick. So once I drank cold brew concentrate straight from the bottle and Nicole was like, hey, don't do that. That's bad. And I was like, Nicole, I'm a pro. I can handle my caffeine.

I know what I'm doing. Fast forward five minutes and I go, hey, Nicole, I can't see. And she goes, what? And I go, yeah, don't panic. But I am blind right now and I don't know what's happening. And I have a splitting headache. Yeah. This was what, a month when I was working with you?

Like a month into it? We started you off hard. Yeah. You really, really did. It was just me and you alone. Yeah. One day I hurt my back and Nicole had to tie my shoes for me. me josh loves to say that story just to humble me every now and then not to humble me that was embarrassing for me i wanted to do that no i was like i was like oh

this is my first like uh person i'm working with and i'm gonna run a whole department we're trying to build this thing out and i'm just like hey so like i cannot bend right now because of an injury if you tie my shoes that'd be great and then be great. And then you went blind a week later. And then I went blind a week later because I drank probably about a thousand milligrams of caffeine. You had a lot of, and that's one, well, I do believe that on cold brew, like ready to drink cold brew, we need to have labels that say, please dilute. Yes. Yeah.

Are there clear instructions on the bottle? Sure. On the back of the bottle. Who's looking at the back of the bottle? You're saying we need like a surgeon general's warning like they did on cigarettes. Yeah, yeah. Of course you do. They have a skull and crossbones. Yeah, are you kidding me? Have you ever been to the grocery store and they have like a sign that says, this product

is not for pregnant people because it's been treated with X, Y, and Z. Yeah. This isn't for idiots. You need to be able to understand basic commands to drink this product. Let me tell you, I do love cold brew. I don't like making it, but I know how to make it. But you know what? you, I do love cold brew. I don't like making it, but I know how to make it. But you know what? I don't know how to make,

I don't know how to brew a cup of coffee. I'm going to be honest with you guys. There's a lot of things I'm good at. There's a lot of talents in this little body of mine, but one of them, I don't know how to work a coffee machine to save my life. Like if you were to walk up to say the $20 Mr. Coffee machine that I have in my home, and I said, hey, could you make me a cup? You just wouldn't know. I wouldn't know how to do it. Do you think you could reason it out, though,

if you, like, thought through how the machine works? Do you know how it works? I would need a few minutes. I would need, like, about, I need, like, six minutes and two tries. Does this, do you drink, but you drink coffee on the regular, right? No, I'm an espresso girl.

Do you make espresso at home? Nespresso, Nespresso machine. I'm a Nespresso girl. You make espresso at home? Nespresso. Nespresso machine. Oh, you are an Nespresso girl. Yeah, Nespresso machines, coffee machines that you just throw the pot in and it works. Oh my God,

you just call that a coffee machine now. You're talking about a Keurig. Yeah, I never use like a regular like fill the pot with the water. You fill the pot with the water? No, you fill the basin. You fill the basin with water and then that fills it with coffee.

This is not me pretending to be stupid because I don't like being stupid. But like this is like I've never done it. When did Keurig's even come out? Like you didn't start drinking coffee in the home until post Keurig. Yeah. That's probably what, like 2012? Well, my parents also were instant coffee people. Oh, OK.

Wait, there's something we can agree on because I think people need to put more respect on instant coffee. Yeah, obviously. And that's something that like people around the world drink a lot of i remember when i was in israel like that was the only coffee they had you'd be in a hotel room be like hey where can i get a cup of coffee and they were just like oh we have you know nescafe and they just like point to a little uh thing of instant coffee and i elite elite that's the one i had in my house elite instant coffee was the drink of my childhood. Well, not my childhood, but I was like 18 when I started drinking coffee. But yeah, no, in my house, we never had a coffee machine. And then whenever we would have a coffee machine, it was on vacation and my dad would use it to brew

tea. We would never. Oh, really? You're talking about like the coffee machine in the hotel room, like you just like brew tea in it? Yeah. Like we never drank coffee like that. That's adorable. So I grew up automated and lazy. You know the inventor of Keurig, like Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, like regrets his invention. And he's like working to try and stop it. Yeah.

That's the thing because Keurig has been so environmentally disastrous apparently is a thing. Yeah. I don't exactly have the data on it, but that's the thing. And now he's basically like, I regret ever having done that. Yeah, they have compostable-

Because it's just single use. But they have compostable K-cups now. Yeah, but they only started making compostable K-cups because they were like, oh God, what have we done? Yeah, it's so true. So you should feel terrible.

I recycle all my Nespresso pods. I really do. I'm very, I recycle them. We have a baggie that we give to the Nespresso store and we say, here you go. And they say, oh my God, thank you so much. Here's a free sleeve. Wait, really?

Yeah. Oh, that's like an incentive, like a buyback program? I don't know. Maybe they just like us. Is it the Bed Bath & Beyond? No, it's the Nespresso store. It's just a standalone Nespresso store? Yeah.

Where? There's one in Beverly Drive. God, of course there is. And then there's one in the Bloomingdale's in Century City Mall. Your favorite mall. It's a good mall. Hey, are you listening to this? Josh loves to go to Century City. Yeah,

I hang out there on the weekends. Come find me. Okay, cold brew. The cold brew iced coffee dichotomy. So cold brew takes a lot longer to make. That's fine. Sure, sure, sure, sure. But we're talking on like a global industrial scale here. Not only that, you take twice the amount of beers. Why do I have to think that way? Because, okay, here's the real reason I'm mad. twice the amount of that way because okay here's the real reason i'm mad the people here's the real reason i'm mad about cold brew right is that i love coffee well not okay let me reframe

i don't love coffee i don't love coffee i love caffeine and i need it as a drug if i don't have caffeine um i will just get a splitting headache and i'll scream and i'll cry and i'll wail and i'll moan and if i have too much caffeine, I go blind. We've established that. It's happened three times in my life. One prom night because we couldn't find any alcohol because our parents hook up. Yeah, so we're like, let's get messed up on monsters. That's what my friend did at grad night.

Did you say that at grad night or prom? Prom, prom, prom. My friend did that at grad night and I literally physically took the monster and I'm like, you need to sit down because you're going to die on this fricking roller coaster. He's like, I'm fine. Yeah. I started dry heaving in a Denny's bathroom at like 430 in the morning. So scary.

I didn't have a fun prom night. Not like the movies. Me either. We were the cool kids. All right. So cold brew takes twice as long, takes twice as many games. And that is the reason why cold brew coffee is so much more expensive than drip coffee. Okay, okay.

Like you go to Starbucks, you can still get a drip coffee for like $2.45 or something, which is expensive for coffee, right? Mr. Wonderful from Shark Tank says, if you're spending more than $1.50 on a cup of coffee, you're wasting your money. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I feel like everything we buy is a waste of money because you can do it at home. But that said, like cold brew is significantly more expensive than that because of the time

and process. Do you think that, say cold brew is like 60% more expensive than drip coffee. Do you think that that is made up in the taste and enjoyment? You think cold brew is that much better? No, I don't think it's better. I just think putting the word scam on it is not right. It's a different way to enjoy coffee. It's a scammy way to enjoy coffee. What makes it scammy? The fact that it's more expensive and it's more labor and it's harder to get? No, here's the real scam. Oh, here's the real scam, Nicole,

is the fact that now people associate cold brew with the default chilled coffee experience. So right now, if you were to go to the store and look up all of these ready to drink coffee drinks that are in the refrigerated section, 90% of them would be cold brew, right? It's not labeled as iced coffee anymore. Yeah, it's all cold brew. And so they're all actually cold brewing it, meaning you're just driving up the general price because you're artificially inflating the amount of labor that's coming in. This is like a contractor on a job.

Okay, again, all these cold brews that are being sold are concentrates, correct? No. No. How much of them? No. Like 50% of them. I don't even think so. I'd say probably less than 20% are concentrates.

You think so? I feel like cold brew concentrates, like OG brands like Chameleon. That's a concentrate. They're selling concentrates, but a lot of these aren't. They're just selling straight ready to drink. Like stock? Especially like the cans. You know, you got your St a lot of these aren't. They're just selling straight ready to drink, especially like the cans. You know, you got your Stumptowns, like all of these coffee.

Starbucks has just canned cold brew. Starbucks still sells 64 ounce things of iced coffee, which I get if I'm in a pinch. I feel smart and final. I'm not a big iced coffee. I've never been an iced coffee person either. But you do like cold brew. I do like cold brew. What is the difference to you?

The flavor. What's the flavor difference? Tell me, tell me, tell me. It's like more chocolatey. It's do like cold brew. I do like cold brew. What is the difference to you? The flavor! What's the flavor difference? It's more chocolatey. It's more like acidic. I don't feel like acidic coffee, ew. But it's like good whenever you have a splash of cream in it. I don't know. It's more zippy. It's more zingy. I feel like I'm getting more caffeine, even

if that's not true or not, but I just feel more caffeinated. I don't want my coffee to taste like coffee. Yeah, okay. And what do you gain from that? From not having fun? From being a big, boring Mr. Man? Wait, yeah. Big, boring Mr. Man. Hold on. No, that is a good point.

That is a good point. Yeah. Because that was one of the early things when I, you know, let's talk about Josh's childhood for a second. I'm so down. Like, growing up without a lot of positive male role modeling, you know, I was constantly searching, like, what does it mean to be a man? And Nicole, I need you to make eye contact with me because this is very personal. Oh, sorry. I was like constantly searching like what does it mean to be a man and Nicole this is

I need you to make eye contact with me because this is very personal oh sorry I was being distracted because you talk about your family all the time I was just looking out of the cold blue brands go ahead I'm sorry I care about you so much no you don't have to no take it take it no I'm saying no positive male role models yeah it's tough you know and I was trying to search

for what it meant to be a man and you know a lot of the cues I took like, hey, spicy foods. That's what men do. Nicole's physically prying her eyes open like the end of a clockwork orange. They're forcing Alex DeLarge, played by the great Malcolm McDowell, to watch scenes of violence. Anyways, I'm saying I thought like drinking black coffee made you a big manly man. And so from like age eight, I just drink black coffee anytime I could be like, look at me. I'm a child, but a man.

And then now I like still associate that with positive reinforcement. Sorry for laughing. And so, no, it's hilarious. A little eight-year-old spiky-headed fat Josh drinking coffee. I wish I could have just given you a hug. I was a cute kid. Yeah, I didn't like to be touched though because I wasn't used to it. You know what I mean? I didn't know what another Yeah, I didn't like to be touched, though, because I wasn't used to it. You know what I mean?

I didn't know what another human body touching mine felt like, so I didn't want any part of it. Stop! I don't know whether to keep laughing or just to keep crying. I don't even know. It's so sad. Welcome to my life. I'm sorry. So that's why I still drink black coffee, and I associate, like, the austere taste.

But, like, you don't win anything from having a boring, gross poop coffee. No, but sometimes I like it. And also I don't consider it poop to me. It's the same. It's not poop, Nicole. I think of it the same way as like alcohol where it's like, I understand that. At first, an acquired taste.

You're sussing out the different notes of cocoa blossoms and cherry butters and whatever the hell they talk about with coffee. I like to have a kind of bitter, dark roast. That is what I'm searching for in my coffee flavor. I don't want this cold brew,

light, floral. Cold brew's not light. If anything, cold brew has a deeper, darker, more chocolatey, intense coffee flavor. Do you think it does? I know it does. What do you mean you know it does? Well, it chocolatey, intense coffee flavor. Do you think it does? I know it does. What do you mean you know it does? Well, it depends on the kind of bean.

If you take one bean, you cold brew it, there's another one. Because it's more stronger. Why didn't we have Morgan Eckroth on this? Who's, oh. Morgan. I'm sorry, Morgan. I know who you are. Morgan, I would love,

Mrs. Morgan drinks coffee on TikTok, YouTube, friend of the show. If you could like make a video just kind of like reacting to this and the stupid things that we said. And how mad you are at all the things

we're saying. Yeah, I don't think they'd be mad. You know, they seem kind of generally on, I don't think they're like a huge coffee snob, but I think we're just

saying a bunch of dumb stuff. I think they might be disappointed in the way we're handling this. I'm a little disappointed with this. But the point is, I'm not a,

for me thinking about the taste of my coffee though is like thinking about the taste of my NyQuil where it's like I'm. This is your medicine? Yeah, I'm consuming this because I need it, right? For me, thinking about the taste of my coffee, though, is like thinking about the taste of my NyQuil. This is your medicine? Yeah, I'm consuming this because I need it. I'm not drinking this for... I don't feel that way at all about coffee.

No, you shouldn't. People shouldn't. Yeah, it's fun. It's customizable. I agree with that. It's a joy. Coffee and tea and anything caffeine-wise should give you joy instead of, I don't know, know what do you do for coffee consumption what's your favorite cup of coffee like what what do you i take whatever thing that we have in the fridge and i pour it in a large glass and i chug it so you drink cold brew actually no wait hold on i know okay yeah that's another thing i do drink a ton of cold because nicole buys it and puts it in the mythical kitchen fridge on purpose yeah yeah because

everybody wants it oh it's great it's a a delight. I love it. Love cold brew. Then why is it a scam if you love it? No, I'm saying if that was iced coffee, I would be, in fact, happier. I wouldn't even notice the difference. My life would go on and on. But iced coffee is cheaper. Nicole, that's what I'm saying. You wouldn't notice the difference.

You wouldn't. And iced coffee is cheaper to make, cheaper to produce, and it's not driving up the global price of coffee. Well, what do you want me to do? It's on the business card. Stop it. Write a letter to Howard Schultz at Starbucks. I don't want to.

Is that the Peanuts guy? Not Charles Schultz. Yeah, Howard Schultz is definitely the Starbucks CEO. George Schultz. George Schultz, what did he do? Was he a composer? No. Who's George Schultz?

He helped with Russia and Gorbachev and Reagan and stuff. He was a former U.S. Secretary. Why don't I know who George Schultz he was he like helped with like russia and gorbachev and reagan and stuff he's a former u.s secretary why don't i know who george schultz i don't know interesting uh he was on the board of theranos oh that's how you know yeah nicole just finished watching the drop out it was so good amanda seyfried come on but i just watched we crashed and that's the same show is it well it's following there's like a weird trend now where there'll be a very interesting story and then somebody will make a documentary series about it. And then somebody will make a narrative series about it. And it's just too much content to consume.

Because I've already read the Longform articles. I've already watched all the documentary series. And I was like, I really have to watch the narrative series now? I really have to watch Jared Leto reenact all the things that I already know? This is how she talked. This is how Elizabeth Holmes talked. Actually, it's a combination of therapy and diagnosis theranos it's like we're going to the poconos we're gonna we're gonna change the world

one drop of blood at a time that's like i'm going you got like a little fratty at the end out of bra. I'm Elizabeth Holmes, bra. Speaking of fraud. Cold brew coffee. I mean, what's nitro? What is nitro cold brew? Is it just put through an ISI canister before it is fed to the people? Nitro cold brew is the big, actually, here's the thing I'll say. That's a scam. That's a scam.

No, wait, hold up. That's the thing that I really actively enjoy. How can you enjoy something? You know, the dichotomy of your mind is so frustrating because you say you like it and then you say it's a fraud. But why do you like fraudulent things? Why do you hate yourself? I'll tell you.

Why do I hate myself? Oh, let's get into it, Nicole. Nitro cold brew, to me, is worth it for the science. Nicole, okay. Because instead of adding, say, carbonation, right? That's the process of making a drink fizzy via carbonic acid, blah, blah, blah. They are nitrogenating it, giving it little tiny micro bubbles that make fun times in your mouth. And so I can't do that at all myself.

I haven't a single nitrogenatable canister, Nicole. Don't you have a soda stream? That's carbonation, not nitrogenation. It's very different. I like the small bubbles. And so I don't know how to nitrogenate something at home, right? And I will gladly pay a local coffee shop. What's the one in Burbank that I like?

Starbucks. No, it's just called like I Heart Coffee or something. I don't know your coffee. Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer, goes there, and they make a great nitro cold brew. But I'm saying I can't do that myself. And so for me, it's worth it because I'm paying for the joy of the tiny little micro bubbles. Yeah, I'm sure you can

make it at home. Yeah, we'll just... Yeah, you'd rather see like, what, a tube and a bunch of water? Is that sort of chemical? You gotta have someone blown it at the other end. Are we talking about colonics or nitrogenation? We'll buy both and we'll try them on each product. Do you not like nitro cold brew?

I mean, that is like fake to me. That's a scam. Like putting nitrous oxide in I think it's nitrous oxide. Whatever it is. We're using a lot of science words that we don't understand. So use that as a caveat. Exactly. Theranos. Exactly. It all

ties together. Hot dogger, send us one drop of your blood and I'll tell you if it tastes like blood or not. That's right. For the price of $50, I will just eat your blood. You actually drink blood? It tastes like maple syrup. Actually, you drink blood, but that's neither here nor there. I don't know. There's something about the nitro bubbles. Well, first of all, I don't even know if I can drink a whole cup of cold brew.

Why? Because my body goes into shakes and tremors. Wait, are you that sensitive to caffeine? I think so. There was a period of time when I worked at a coffee shop where I literally had four cups of coffee a day in like different ways. And there came a time when like,

if I didn't have coffee, I would shake. Oh, same. And then I quit cold turkey for two years and I didn't touch coffee. And then I was like, OK, I'm done with my my caffeine addiction. I can just like introduce it to myself now. And I'm fine now. But sometimes I have cold brew. I get really shaky and I'm like, oh, I can't drive.

I thought you were going to say you're one of those people. There's a lot of memes about it where people are like, one cold brew and then they'll show like a sewage pipe exploding implying that they have violent diaphorea after a sip of cold. And that's like a sentiment that I hear from people like, oh, I can't even smell coffee without having to take a dump. And I'm like,

how poorly regulated is your digestive system? Well, I will say when I have three sips of my morning coffee, I gotta go. Okay, so you're one of those people. Yeah. I am sensitive to it in that way. You're one of those. Do you think, Nicole?

Yes. That nitro cold brew would even help more with that because the bubbles. It's not helping. It's hurting. Oh, you're hurting. You don't want to be there. Because sometimes I like to. I don't want to talk about pooping on the podcast. Can I have 30 seconds to talk about poop on the podcast?

Your poop. My poop. You don't have to overshare anything. What I like to do sometimes, if I eat a lot of whey protein powder, if I'm feeling a little backed up. Digestive health is just really important. People with colon cancer is a huge killer. Eat a lot of dietary fiber. I like to take about 6 to 15 prunes, and I'll blend those up with ice and water and just suck down a prune slurry.

That's fine. What does that have to do with coffee? I'm saying that's what I do instead of coffee. Well, that's good for you. It is good for me. But it's not like a pleasant experience. It is a violent evacuation. It is not like a

clean evacuation. Was that 30 seconds? Was that 30 seconds? It was my time up because I was about to relate this to the dictator, Marcos, the dictator from the Philippines, how he was violently evacuated from Manila. That's it. Now I'm done. That is how my...

So you call your first president It's an unwanted presence in, you know, a place and you need to get it out. Speaking of cold brew,

have you ever heated up cold brew and drank it like coffee? I don't know. Have I? I'm asking you a question. You spend more time with me than my fiance and all of my family members combined. You would have been around for it. It's just a normal question. Well, then you're not with me, which is shocking, but sometimes you're not around me. Barely.

I don't think I have.. I don't think I have. I really don't think I have. One time I did and it was not good. Cold brew was not good because cold brew is not actually good but hot coffee iced down is good. That's not true. Flavors are more muted when it's cold.

We all know that aka gazpacho. Gazpacho theory. Oh yeah. No I agree with that. I agree with that. So actually it's less intense once it's cold but once it's heated up it is so disgusting can i use one gross metaphor

one you know you know how you can tell that flavors are more muted when it's cold is because try fart in the shower i'm so sorry this is how my mind works this is literally how i think about this when you fart in the shower it smells so much worse because of all the steam and it's just carrying, you know, the warmth it's carrying. It's making the aromas really bloom. Wait, so you don't like the smell of your own farts? That's shocking. That's not that I don't like. I don't know. There's something comforting. It's like, this is my body.

It's beautiful. It's like when somebody farts. That's the one thing that I learned from this podcast. Josh doesn't like the smell of his own farts. Shocking revelation. You ever been to yoga class and somebody farts? Um, revelation. You ever been in a yoga class and somebody farts? Um, no. Really? Never. And I've been to like a bunch of yoga, I've been to like so many yoga classes.

That's never happened. Somebody's definitely farted, you just didn't hear it and they didn't address it. Well then, statistically speaking, Nicole, somebody farted in that class. Well, Josh, if a fart, you know what I'm gonna say? Yeah, but you gotta finish it. I don't know what it is. If somebody farts in a yoga class and no one is around to hear it did they really namaste

or something it was gonna be something like that right anytime I've been in a yoga class and somebody's farted I swear to god I'll get off this topic in a second the teacher comes over and they'll be like we should all be grateful for our bodies and that they are working and functioning

as they should and this is a gift. I thought maybe... Nah, homie pooped his pants during Chaturanga. I thought maybe you would fart and tell me. I just like, like a Spartacus, like, I am Spartacus. No, no.

Gosh, potty humor. What are we talking about? We're talking about coffee, man. What's the best cup of coffee at Red? I'm a big Blue Bottle fan, so I have a lot of Blue Bottle. Blue Bottle's probably my favorite cup of coffee. But again, I don't just have a regular drip coffee that often. Yeah.

Right now, I'm really into matcha lattes. And I do like a cold brew from Blue Bottle because they put chicory root in it. And I like that flavor. Oh, you're talking about the New Orleans style? The New Orleans. Yeah, it's quite delicious. It's like Demerara they put chicory root in it. And I like that flavor. Oh, you're talking about the New Orleans style. The New Orleans. Yeah, it's quite delicious. It's like Demerara sugar, chicory root. So they brew.

I actually learned how to do this, which was cool. It's coarse ground coffee, anything they got. And then they put like a few spoonfuls of Cafe Du Monde chicory powder, chicory root. Do you know what chicory root is? Because I kind of don't. It's similar. So it's in the same family as like other greens. So like chard and stuff like that.

It's like in the same family. Because I've been to restaurants and they'll be like, this is a salad of chicories. And it's all kind of like, what's the radicchio-ish type of stuff? Yeah, I think it's radicchio chard. Is it literally that, but the root? I think so. And it's just that. And then they brew it for a long time.

And then they put it with some milk and then a little bit of syrup, like vanilla syrup. And I really like it. It's honestly a perfect iced coffee, but I am more of a hot coffee person. I'm a more of a hot espresso person. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just, I just don't enjoy cups of coffee that much.

I just prefer like an espresso with some milk and a little bit of brown sugar, sugar in the raw. I am like a, I'm a big drip coffee fan. Like I prefer the American style coffee to like espresso. And when I had these Italian roommates, they would just refer to American coffee as dirty water. Because for them, coffees, you know, drink in like, you know, two to three ounce little cups.

And so, you know, I'm coming around to like, I used to drink a quart of black coffee every morning. A quart? I used to drink a quart of coffee. I'm like Paul Bun used to drink a i used to drink a quart of coffee i'm like paul bunion that's a barrel of eggs yeah that's a lot of actually it's five cups and coffee this is another weird thing coffee the standard measurement of a cup of coffee is six ounces and it makes no sense you can google this on y'all's own but a cup is eight ounces like a standard measuring cup, yeah, is eight fluid ounces. But when you're talking about cups of coffee, I think they're going off of the old timey styrofoam cups.

You'd find it like a water cooler. Okay. There are six ounces. So this is another weird thing. You're talking about cold brew maybe having more caffeine in it. Roasting and heat does negatively affect caffeine content. Sure. I believe.

and heat does negatively affect caffeine content, I believe. However, it's impossible to tell how much of the grounds have soaked into the water at any given point. You know what I mean? Because if you let a cold brew steep for 12 hours versus 24 hours, depending on the coarseness of your grind, all that is going to affect the caffeine content. And we're very flippant about caffeine content, which I think is weird because it's a hard drug.

It made me go blind, Nicole. I know. It gave you the shakes. I know. You were an addict. You were jonesing. I know. It's crazy.

Like, do you know how many milligrams of caffeine are in a cup of coffee? If you had to guess. Like, do you know the milligram amount of caffeine? 118. That's actually probably pretty close. I don't know. Do you know? Yeah.

How much is it? Well, no. I'm saying it all depends on coffee. Yeah. How much is it? Well, no, I'm saying it all depends on coffee. But like if you're talking about milligrams of caffeine, 1200 milligrams of caffeine at one time or in one 24 hour period is likely to give you a type of severe caffeine intoxication. So that's probably where I was when I done went blind. That's so scary to think about.

400 milligrams per day is what the FDA recommends to not have any negative long term effects. They're like, this is the cap, 400 milligrams. I give myself a cap of like 550 because I'm like, oh, I'm bigger. So I can handle that. Okay. But anyways, like six fluid ounces of coffee should range between like 60 and 80 milligrams of caffeine. Okay.

But then, you know, blonde roasts have more caffeine than, you know. That's true. And then if you look up Starbucks Venti blonde roast. That's dangerous, right? Over 400 milligrams of caffeine, which is over the toxicity level. Yeah, they shouldn't be selling that, right? But it's crazy that we do in America.

But they shouldn't. And they shouldn't. I'm saying that we're very flippant about it. It's very strange to me. And how much caffeine is in a cold brew, like a Venti cold brew? It all depends and nobody knows. It's what a weird, wild, wonderful world

where we play with our hard drugs. That's my favorite cup of coffee nicole i once had sorry i didn't ask i know it's okay i wasn't fishing favorite i okay well i had the most special cup of coffee i had i think we've talked about this before but i went i went to blue bottle and they were advertising this cup of coffee that cost like $23 or something. Oh my God. And they were like, this is a cold, no, not a cold brew. They were like, this is a pour over from Yemen that is based off of the original coffee bean that was, hold on Nicole. This is based off the original coffee bean that was first brewed back in 10,000 BC. And there's a Mesopotamian hymn according to this coffee.

And the person who got the beans out of Yemen had to smuggle it on a kayak. And his name his name was Fred and then Fred he has a daughter named Sophia and here's a photo of Fred and Sophia and here's our giant pamphlet

and it comes with a tiny little cookie and it costs $18 and you have to wait 45 minutes for it to brew and the coffee guy is just going to be staring at you the whole time while they bruise it with love

and I paid that money for it and I tipped the requisite 20% which is the price of a normal cup of coffee. I was using a corporate card to get it because I was writing about it at the time. But, like, the barista literally stared at me while I drank this thing, and he was like, can you taste the cherry blossom notes? And I just want to be like, I never eaten a cherry blossom, dude. This tastes like coffee.

But I couldn't. And instead, I'm like, wow. Yeah. Yeah, I do i do man it's insane it's kind of like a little bit perfumey and like yeah yeah because they're also positively reinforced just go yeah of course that's why if anybody ever goes to like a wine tasting or somebody pours the you know uh the taster at a restaurant oh my gosh that's my favorite thing because everyone says because you're the food person, like, you get to taste it. And I'm like, ah! And they're like, how's it? And I'm like,

I, like, shake my head, and then it's like, okay! Yeah, give them a little wink. I always say one adjective. I'm like, ooh! Look at that peppery finish. Ooh! Ooh, love that jammy blush. But do you mean it? But do you know what you're saying when you say it? I think I mean it. It's like, if you think you're in love, does that mean you're in love? How do you tell if you're in love it's all so willing to die

for your partner but i'm saying it's such a nebulous concept like you thinking that you taste something versus actually tasting it because everything's perceived through the mind yeah it's like that one it's like that one uh opinion we had where they said if you have a bite of a carrot it tastes like coke it's like yeah if you put that in the in the air i'm sure someone will think that yeah exactly yeah uh and so this could have been the best cup of coffee i've ever drank and i don't know i will say my favorite cup of coffee is on saturday morning i wake up like an hour and a half before julia probably at 6 30 uh that's early for the yeah just my body's just kind of stuck sure i'll wake up at 6 30 and i will brew on my it's actually not a Mr. Coffee.

I now have like a, I've upgraded to like the $100 like ninja foodie coffee thing. Okay, cool. Good for you. That's nice. And I use Don Francisco butterscotch flavored coffee beans. It is good. And it is great. And I'll put Splenda protein powder and Fairlife milk in it.

That's the high protein milk. Oh, I thought that was the lactose free milk. And it makes it like a latte. Oh, good. And I drink about 24 ounces of that on the table while playing Rocket League. You play Rocket League at 6.30? 6.30 in the morning. Wow.

Before Julie gets up. So it's like, you know, I'm going to drink coffee. I'm going to have some me time. And so that's my favorite cup of coffee because it's connected to a ritual. That's good. Does it have anything to do with cold brew being a scam? Yes. Oh, what?

Because then I save the other half a pot of the coffee. And then I put it in the fridge and I make it ice and I make it cold. And it tastes significantly better than any cold brew ever. But that's not cold brew! That was hot brew coffee. And that is what you all should be doing. And cold brew is a scam. And they're artificially inflating the amount of supply and labor to make the coffee to make you pay more for it scraping up their margins starbucks

taking over the world hey hey nicole hey you and i have to say Now it's time to find out What other wacky ideas Are rattling out there In the Twitterverse It's time for a segment We call Opinions are like Casseroles

Wow We got a roll today Huh Josh always says we sing it But we never really sing it But now I really didn't sing it Let's try and actually sing it Let's try and harmonize

Okay Opinions are like Yeah I'm i'm so sorry i'm normally better you're so flat okay what do you want me to sing like okay i want you to go to an a like an a like an a i'm here i really am done yeah yeah yeah it's rough in such a beautiful history of Jewish cantors in my family congratulations alright hey so I was a guest on a fellow

Mythical Kitchen crew members podcast that's right go head over to Trevor Talks Too Much to listen to the episode where Trevor and I play like a newlywed game

that's nice to really test our friendship over the years and Trevor tries to get me to open up more so you can go see if over at Trevor

Talks Too Much to see if trying to get you to open up more, so you can go see if over at Trevor talks too much to see if, I don't know. Trying to get you to open up more? Baby, you open book. What are you talking about? Yeah, well, no, there's got to be something deeper in the recesses. You think so? Yeah, I've got to reach deep down there. That's, I don't know.

Well, hey, anyway, so first up, Nicole, it looks like we got someone at Corey Lovehorn says barbecue sauce is the only condiment that can make green beans edible. I got one for you. Butter. Lao Gan Ma. Lao Gan Ma. Lao Gan Ma. John Cena loves Lao Gan Ma.

I love Lao Gan Ma. Yeah, that's right. Julia doesn't like green beans and it makes me mad. Like at all? Yeah. Well, I- She can't eat beans. Okay.

So a green bean isn't like a bean. It's a legume? No, it's like neither. It's a vegetable? Beans don't exist. There's like legumes, there's pulses, there's just beans aren't, like a green bean, like a yellow wax bean, a Chinese long bean, those aren't like beans. Okay.

Did I tell you about the fava beans that I had at a restaurant? No. So I went to a restaurant with my brother and we ordered like fava beans. They're on like the grill menu, but I kind of imagined like a plate of like full madamas. Sure, that you just like eat with the's like a nice no no no i was imagining like a plate of like beans i could eat with a spoon okay okay didn't notice it was like from the grill you know and that was part of it and so they come out and they're the fava beans that it looks like giant edamame yeah and uh they're like fully dressed with the skin on and so skin on fava beans well

john looks at me and he's like hey we're supposed to eat the whole thing and do you eat the whole fava bean um well it does give you indigestion but yeah i don't know dude but anyways and i'm like yo there's dressing on the outside of course we're supposed to eat the whole thing so we're chewing on it and it's like not very good uh and then the server comes over and we're like hey out of curiosity are um we supposed to eat the whole thing and she goes um typically what most guests will do, there's some panic in her eyes, is they'll take the beans out of the shell before eating them. And we go, oh, so we ate the bones. Oh, man.

Anyways. Yeah, they weren't great. But I love green beans and I think they're edible with damn near any sauce. But I think they do really deserve a sauce I think they're good pan seared with some butter and salt and pepper it's perfectly fine too a little garlic will let them kill it yeah really good uh prick king

prick king green beans oh that's a good one North Snow 21 says I recently discovered that not everyone eats cereal with warm milk I never ate it with cold as a child. That's incredible. What?

How long did it take you to figure that out, though? That's an incredible discovery. Like, you were, like, you were, like, really coddled and loved as a child, it sounds like. Always having warm milk with your, it's like porridge. I'm just kidding. I love me a good Frosted Flakes porridge. You know that. I'm just wondering if they never saw cereal in like a media that they consumed, right?

I guess. Think about, I mean, children's shows, kid pouring a bowl of cereal before school. That jug of milk is obviously straight out of the fridge, right? Surely they would have seen, they would have inferred that that was just cold. Maybe they're trolling us. I don't think. To what end? To this end? For attention? Why not? No, are you trolling us? We trolling us. I don't think. To what end? To this end?

For attention? Why not? No. Are you trolling us? We got to know. I don't know. I feel like this is a very, I don't know, like really coddled, protected person. They sound loved.

Maybe they didn't watch TV. Maybe they were watching, you know, some religious programming. Family was reading to them. Yeah, maybe. You don't have to be religious to be sheltered. It helps. That's true. I was sheltered but not very religious.

Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Still had cold milk with my cereal though. Ba-ba-ba-ba-boo. At Dr. Iceman200, Eggo waffles are better frozen than warmed up. Okay. I've had both.

Me too. Okay, here's a weird turn. Frozen Eggo waffles have the consistency of my favorite waffle which is a belgian aliege waffle which is a belgian waffle it's a belgian waffle but it's a yeasted it's a very thickly sugared yeasted waffle that has large sugar crystals in it and it's like not fluffy and light it is dense and it's chewy and crispy and so good and uh frozen egg this is a reach i'll admit that frozen egg o waffles kind of give you that texture that denseness but the denseness is from ice crystals.

You're right. You're right. But I do like it better warm. Yeah. This isn't going to exactly change the way that I consume frozen waffles. Sure. Yeah. But I think you got a point, Dr. Iceman.

Also, your name is Dr. Iceman. You're eating Eggo waffles frozen. It's a cool name. It's like a dentist named Dennis. Dennis the dentist? Yeah. It's like if your name is Dennis, you're more likely to become a dentist. That's false.

I know, it's actually false. There's absolutely no data about that. Somebody actually published that and claimed it. Oh. Sundevils84 says barbecue sauce cookies are a sneaky top tier cookie. So is there like an online recipe where they do Sweet Baby Ray's cookies or something? Well, yeah, here's the thing. They're presupposing the existence of something called a barbecue sauce cookie.

Yeah. And presupposing that we know what that is or that maybe we should know what that is. I can certainly infer what it is. You take a shirt of cookie dough. You know, you maybe add a little bit less wet ingredients. You mix a bunch of barbecue sauce in there. And then, yeah, barbecue sauce cookie yielding nothing on search terms. But if you can imagine, if you can imagine, Nicole. Yeah. Sugar cookie dough, leave out a little bit of the wet, add a bunch of barbecue sauce.

No, I think I think you're wrong. I think they're taking a cookie and then they're topping it with barbecue sauce or maybe they're making a whoopie pie. So whoopie pie, which is pie with just a nice little thick barbecue. Yeah. I don't know. But a barbecue sauce cookie or a cookie with a dry rub in it. I eat a lot of very heavily spiced cookies. Those are my favorite.

Yeah, but you're not putting barbecue spice rub in a cookie. You're crazy. But I'm saying it's not that. No. You crazy liar. Get out of here, you crazy pants on fire liar. No, but like, you know, it's not that far of a jump.

And also, Jenny's everything bagel ice cream. It is a leap. It's a bit of a leap. It's a jump, it's a leap, it's what is the sport

called where you run and you pull, it's a pole vault. Parkour. Pole vaulting. Oh, but Nicole's making a track and field reference.

Yeah! Are you a fan of Renaud Lavillani? Absolutely. Yeah. Very cool. French? Yeah, yeah,

he is French. But then Armand Duplantis came in and broke all of his records. Not French. And Sergei Bubka, of course, the Ukrainian great. Ukrainian, yeah. I knew that. Did you? No.

I mean, you got it right. Yeah, I think we're just going to need more information. SunDevils84, hit us up with some more info. Yeah, call us. And then Nicole's going to drop her personal number in the description. No, no, no. All right. A riffle.

Cinnamon cheese pizza was the weirdest yet most mind-blowing thing I've ever eaten. What is going on? These are very unique niche opinions. See, Nicole, they're presupposing the idea that something called cinnamon cheese pizza exists. What's going on? It's wild. If you were to take a normal cheese pizza, let's even say one without tomato sauce on it, and just sprinkle cinnamon sugar on it, that's a good time.

Do you agree? You disagree? On a regular slice of pizza? But no sauce. I'm saying no tomato sauce. Even with tomato sauce, maybe. I like cinnamon. No, no, no.

I put cinnamon and sugar in my tomato sauce. Well, I understand putting cinnamon in tomato sauces, but this is, I don't understand. I don't understand. What's't understand. I don't understand. What's understand? I don't understand. This is just A-Riffle's just vibing. She's having a good time. Cinnamon cheese pizza. Okay, vibing in the wrong direction because I don't understand what this is.

I don't get it. Jesse the Mark says, my SO and her mother like to have cream of mushroom soup on homemade waffles. I think it's weird. They say I'm crazy. They're gaslighting you. No, this is the thing. Nicole.

What? Flashback memory from my childhood. this is the thing. Nicole. What? Flashback memory from my childhood. This is the thing. I used to eat this. Is it good? It's a happy memory from childhood. Oh, this is a happy one? We got one.

Woo! Okay, so chicken. One half of my family, Ashkenazi Jewish and South African. Yes, yes, yes. Other half of the family, like weird Mennonites from Pennsylvania Dutch. I remember when my dad, I took him to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. We were in LA and I was like, I really want to eat here. And he's like, oh, chicken and waffles.

When I was growing up was like a stewed chicken in a cream sauce on top of waffles. And it's like a weird Pennsylvania Dutch kind of rurally thing. And that's what they're doing. And we made it with just cream mushroom soup and rotisserie chicken. And it is good. I believe you. Wow. Unlocked a new memory.

Forgot about that entirely. That's good. That's great. I'm you. Wow. Unlocked a new memory. Forgot about that entirely. That's good. That's great. I'm happy. I love this one. At Lutoon's, sprinkle of salt on cereal is a game changer. Yeah. Absolutely. That's a good one. Speaking of coffee. Yes. You put salt in your... Stop. Well, not

if you're going to have that attitude. I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Continue. Continue. I'm sorry. I put a sprinkle of salt in my coffee. That's that's all is there sugar in it yeah well splenda protein powder and milk oh and then salt yeah okay well you know you're already putting so much garbage in it just put another sprinkle of garbage on it well it's also uh it's rocky road flavored protein powder even better and so it's got that like the fake almond extract yeah the orgeat syrup that yay it's got that in there. So it already tastes just hella weird. And it's butterscotch coffee.

It's butterscotch flavored coffee. I don't know. Rocky Road flavored. You're the one making the choices. It's not like you're going somewhere and they're giving this to you. You are the one who's creating this mess. What other cup of coffee has 60 grams of protein in it, Nicole? Tell me.

I can't find a single one. Not even one. But let me tell you, when I was in Costa Rica, I did have a salted coffee and it was kind of good. It's good. Salt awakens the flavor and everything. Yeah, it's kind of good. Yeah, I salt my cereal too deliberately. It's a great... Salt and protein powder are all your dairy things. Casey Bryant 27 says, black olives on top of nacho cheese Doritos are a great late night drinking snack. I love black olives. So if they taste more like the tin, the better.

Yeah. I don't care. I thought all olives just tasted like metal until I had like a fresh olive. Not like, but you know, an olive not from a can. And I was like, oh, why doesn't it taste like aluminum? Canned black olives that you can put your pinky finger through and just eat. Like one of my favorite tastes ever. And it cannot be duplicated

by any other food. Just made my mouth water. I feel like the combo on Doritos, it's missing a wet. Yeah, it needs something to stick to it. And it can be any wet.

No, I know. Okay, what do you think the wet is on three? One, two, three. Sour cream. Oh, okay, sour cream. I was going to say sour cream but also hummus sounds nice.

Nacho cheese, hummus and some olives. That's good. I got, not to, listen, I don't go to Trader Joe's because their produce is kind of whack sometimes. Really? I love my Trader Joe's produce. It's incredible.

You should come to my Trader Joe's. I don't know, we had a bunch of like bum avocados. What? Julie went there with her friends. I don't know. Sounds crappy. But they got this like eggplant spread that's kind of like, was it ikra? The eggplant hummus? It's not like eggplant. No, no, it's not that. It's like in a jar. It's just eggplant roasted tomato. It's basically ajica. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or no, ikra, ikra. Ikra ismus? It's not like eggplant. No, no, it's not that. It's like in a jar. It's just an eggplant roasted tomato. It's basically ajica. Or no, ikra.

Ikra is the Armenian one, right? Similar, similar. I would love that nacho cheese Dorito and a black olive. Still seems sour cream. Ooh, hot take right here. Hot take. One more, one more, one more. At Just For Mythical, Bucatini is superior to spaghetti in every way.

Same twirly whirly fun with a far more substantial mouthfeel. P.S. Got Twitter just for sharing this love from South Africa. Oh, very cool. Could be my cousin. Do you know Sharon Cohen

in Cape Town? Let me know if you know Sharon Cohen in Cape Town. She's my cousin. Does she talk like this? Yeah, she probably talks like this. Is that how people

in South Africa talk? Yeah, I'm from South Africa, bro. I had a South African teacher her name was Miss Bauer Zip sod represent I like bucatini it's not my favorite pasta I know that's very controversial

you could be like yeah you're such a bucatini girl but I'm really not I do agree that you look like a bucatini girl don't I yeah you sure do

Meggie don't I look like a bucatini girl Meggie tell her she looks like a bucatini girl oh Meggie agrees I feel like looks like a Bucatini girl. Oh, Meggie agrees. I feel like here's a problem. I'm gonna... Here's a problem. Hold on. I feel like, Nicole, do you feel like

the holes in Bucatini have gotten a lot smaller lately? What's the deal with that? What's the deal with the holes in Bucatini? They're hardly there anymore. When I was growing up, the holes in Bucatini, you could fit a whole pinky finger in. That's how big the holes in Bucatini were. And now, almost none there. So when they're saying that there's a substantial mouthfeel well no because this is important i feel like they nicole they might be describing

a pasta called beagley right i feel like they're just talking about thick spaghetti because i feel like the holes in bucatini used to not give it a substantial mouthfeel but maggie i'm gonna be moving a lot when i do this i feel like bucatucatini, it wasn't meant to have a substantial mouthfeel, Nicole. Actually, why is it working? It was meant to, if I could just be here for a sec. Nicole, Bucatini was meant to have little holes in it. It's so annoying. I don't even need to.

Move! In short, I like Bucatini. It's fine. I was trying so hard to cross my leg and do this. On that note, thank you so much for stopping by. A hot dog is a sandwich. We got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us

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