A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Is Ketchup A Smoothie?

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

Today, Josh and Nicole are answering the real questions: is ketchup a smoothie? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hey, do you know that tomatoes were historically known as love apples? There's this theory that yellow tomatoes were titled pom de oro but later misheard as pom de moro as a connection to the Morgans in Spain. This linguistic mixup led to them being called pom de amor or love apples. I only tell you that to ask you, does that mean we can start calling ketchup a love smoothie? This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What?

Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Herer. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today, Nicole, that was a very convoluted intro for a very convoluted question. Yeah, it made my head hurt. Yeah, I don't understand what we're talking about. Yeah, I was thinking maybe. The connection of the Moors. It's a really fascinating history of the tomato.

Because everyone associates tomatoes with Italian food. Yes. But it's a New World crop. Italians didn't have tomatoes until, you know. What is the New World? Tell us what the New World is. What is the New World? I don't know.

Do the listeners know? I don't know. Oh, maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe not. So New World crops refers to the, I guess the term discovery is not completely apt of North America by, you know, European traders. And then that spread throughout the Middle East and Asia. So there were no peppers in Europe, Middle East or Asia until, you know, say 1492, if you want to believe that that is the foundational myth of the discovery of the Americas.

So, yeah, literally any sort of pepper so you think about like you know spicy food in thailand you think about the um uh tomatoes in italy none of that existed oh potatoes are another new world crop they come from peru nice and so people think of there's another question that i hope to god we don't answer on this uh are mashed potatoes just irish guacamole oh well, well, obviously. Oh, obviously they are. But they're not, potatoes are Peruvian. They're not even Irish if you like really, really, really go back. Oh.

So anyways. Are avocados and potatoes from the same part of the world? Yeah. I mean, avocados are, you know, from Mexico. Interesting. Yeah. It really is interesting. So anyways, point is, today we're discussing, is ketchup a smoothie?

Yes. What the heck do you mean? What do you mean, Josh? So anyways, point is, today we're discussing, is ketchup a smoothie? Yes! What the heck do you mean? What do you mean, Josh? It's a pulverized fruit! It's not a fruit, okay, but that does get to the root of this, right? Yes, exactly. That's the reason this question exists. The only reason I am speaking about this dumb, stupid thing is because I said that tomato is a fruit and I stand by that logic 100%. The reason we're discussing this in the first place, this isn't, I don't think, a particular academic interest of either of ours, correct?

I mean, I'm a little interested in it. I think it's cool. I think it's nice to find the root of things. This is something that people have sent me this question on Twitter. They sent both of us this question on Twitter so many times of if tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie. And you're right. It's a pulverized fruit in a somewhat thick liquid form. It probably has the same viscosity as a lot of smoothies. Yeah. I'm talking about the viscosity, the texture,

the slurp ability, everything about it is smoothie like. I, here's, here's where I fall in this question. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this to go? It's about to get real stupid. It's about to get, no, guess. It's about to get real stupid. It's about to get real stupid here because you're supposing that smoothies need a fruit to be considered a smoothie. No, I never said that. Okay, but you are proposing that since ketchup has fruit in it, that is the root of its smoothie hood. You could make a chicken smoothie out of just chicken and water and it would be chicken smoothie. You're saying you could make a chicken smoothie?

No, chicken and water is called a soup. No, it's not. Not if you blend it to proper viscosity. That's called a porridge or juk in Korean. Okay, yeah, so soup is also a smoothie. You want to talk about soup? I just got real stupid. My thing is ketchup has nothing to do with tomatoes.

Ketchup has nothing to do with tomatoes. Oh, stop it. No, no, no. Do not get into the history of china okay let's go let's try nicole i'm gonna transport you back to the year 300 bce in china i think i'm at 3000 but no so the roots of ketchup right it is a very new development in the world and i know we have to sort of take these questions at face value for what it means for us today but i want to try and like completely deconstruct your understanding of ketchup because ketchup and like you can literally see this in languages that have been affected by chinese

right do you know the word for a soy sauce in indonesian sauce ketchup what i mean it's it's not exactly pronounced like me going ketchup as an american but like a ketchup sambal uh is like a sweet soy ketchup doesn't sambal mean sauce sambals yeah it's like a kind soy ketchup. Doesn't sambal mean sauce? Sambal is, yeah, it's like a kind of like rustic, chunky hot sauce of Indonesia. Sambals are... Davin and his sambal game?

Yo, shout out to Davin. I mean, the world of sambal is incredibly vast and diverse from all different regions, like the Balinese sambal with the lemongrass and the shallot in it.

Holy crap, that's good. Really good. But there's one called ketchup sambal that is like a sweet soy, I believe it's called ketchup manis in Indonesia. So like so like ketchup literally i mean it dates back to an ancient fermented like soy and i believe fish sauce that then traveled around the world through

different trading routes much much before the tomato was ever even discovered and so that eventually led its way to like victorian england in like thes. And they were making ketchup out of all kinds of crap. They were making mushroom ketchup. They were making black walnut ketchup. So there is nothing about ketchup that necessarily has to do essentially with a fruit in it. Ergo, ketchup to me is not a smoothie. What is it then? Ketchup is a beautiful, I would call it a chutney.

A condiment? Ketchup is just a condiment. It's just a sauce. It's just a condiment to you? Yeah. That's all it is to you? After all it's done for you? After all ketchup has done for us? Ketchup has given its life to me and I have given my life to it, but I think calling it a smoothie is disrespectful. You ever dip your fries in a milkshake?

Is the milkshake now the condiment? What is a milkshake if not a smoothie? A milkshake is a dessert that we have bastardized. We have bastardized Nicole to be a condiment. No, we didn't bastardize anything. I didn't bastardize anything. I'm just trying to open your eyes to a new perspective. You're always trying to open my eyes to a new perspective.

Why do we feed children toaster strudels for breakfast? Strudel is a dessert. Because they're good. Pop-tart tarts is a French word for pie. We give it to kids for breakfast. I was a toaster strudel girl. I'm sure you're a pop-tart boy. Am I right?

Am I right? No, no, no, no. I was exclusively toaster strudel. Oh, my God. I was a toaster shooter girl. I'm sure you're a Pop-Tart boy. Am I right? Am I right? No, no, no. I was exclusively toaster shooter. I used to be. Pop-Tarts are like if you had to break it down, what I would call bad. Yeah. It's like a bad food. Yeah, I'm not a big... Well, the brown sugar ones are kind of dank. No, they're dank, but they're like

bad. Like it's like a really... You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like Chips Ahoy isn't a great chocolate chip cookie but they're dank. I hate Chips Ahoy. You hate Chips Ahoy? I just like the chewy ones because they come in a whole bunch. The chewy ones are even worse. If you're going by, they have this chemical plasticine quality to them.

And I remember looking up, like, how do they keep them, you know, how do they keep the chewy Chips Ahoy chewy because they're just sitting in a kind of like open air package and how are they shelf stable that amount of moisture and they've like reverse engineered like if you use dextrose instead of sucrose and like that will interact with something to keep it chewy it's like a marvel of science but they're like bad cookies but i'll just house a whole sleeve because they're great yeah they're so good they're bad but delicious yeah so anyways pop tarts are bad but i crave them oh whereas toaster strudels are good and I don't crave them. Toaster Strudels are good because they're hot.

Are they filled with smoothie? No, they're filled with jam or jelly or preserves. What separates a jelly or a jam? Sugar content. Because, oh, you think ketchup doesn't have sugar content? It's equal to jam? It's just offset by vinegar and acid. Well, let me tell you.

Maybe it's the cooking process of maybe, I don't know. It's all about the viscosity. Well, you're saying that ketchup's not as viscous as the filling inside of a toaster strudel? You could fill a toaster strudel with ketchup, and that would turn... No, because there's too much corn syrup in that filling. There's not that much corn syrup. I think you are not giving ketchup enough credit

for how much corn syrup is in there. You think the Heinz Corporation ain't trying to skim profits off the top? Josh, I know that there's corn syrup in there, but it's not as much as a fruit preserve. They also put pectin in there. Okay, but what about, say, something like banana ketchup? Talking about Filipino banana ketchup.

Shout out to Jufran. Jufran. I love banana ketchup. What about it? I like the spicy one. I've never had the spicy one. It's like quite spicy, too. And it's, oh, God, it's delicious.

My brother introduced me to that when I was like 14. And I was like, yummy, sugar ketchup. But I mean, what about that? Would you consider that a true to form ketchup? Yeah. Or do you think it's like a sort of like delicious aberration? I mean, they're similar enough. Like if you put it in front of me, I would dip my french fries in it.

Oh, of course. And I'd be like, this is ketchup. Yeah, it satisfies all the, you know, wants of ketchup. More like a barbecue sauce, maybe. Well, I also believe that all ketchup is barbecue sauce. Okay, I agree with you on that. Ketchup and barbecue sauce are very it's the same they're cousins they're cousins they're one just one has some more spice some more sugar some more acid maybe but it's that's just a ketchup with the ratios played with yeah molasses yeah molasses yeah

anyways the point is but like you don't need molasses for barbecue sauce i know but preferred yeah so filipino banana ketchup is it's sweet enough and it has like, you know, obviously more of what people call an archetypal fruit. Like banana. Even though banana to me is just like a potato in a little jacket. Okay. Bananas are more potato. I don't think bananas are fruit either. You think bananas are similar to potatoes? Well, like plantains are super similar to potatoes, right? Especially thinking about like, what is it?

Josh, you're doing like eight degrees of separation to Kevin Bacon. Like platanos verde? I know what a platano verde is, sir. No, but I'm saying like that's really starchy. That bridges, that is the Sasquatch. Like between us and apes, the platano verde is the Sasquatch between bananas and potatoes. I hate you, but you're right. So what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is the viscosity of Filipino banana ketchup and the sweetness,

because that is viscous, it is sweet, and it's got some fruit in it, even though it's kind of potato-ish. That, to me, is a jam. You think banana ketchup is a jam. And I also think that ketchup is a jam. Heinz tomato ketchup, I believe, is a savory tomato... I don't know if you call it a jam. Maybe a confiture. A confiture.

Is that just a condiment? A confiture. It's like a French-style jam that tends to have like less kind of like gelatin pectin in it and it's more you know um kind of just like a preserve have you ever had tomato jam before uh yes they're typically i mean like rustic and chunky right yeah but i mean i've had blackberry jam and like a seedless blackberry jelly yeah you know so they're they're kind of different in the same way that a tomato jam and ketchup are one's just a strained tomato jam what's tomato paste then tomato paste just tomato tomato paste is an ingredient it's not a prepared food it is one ingredient it's like the

same as getting like membrillo or a quince paste got it okay right a quince paste i don't think would i would consider a jam it's it's merely one i would consider quince paste a jam it's jam like maybe it is no i think you No, I think you're right. I think you're right. But like tamarind paste, it's an ingredient meant to be added to things. Tamarind's technically a legume.

I grew up eating, we used to get these big blocks of tamarind with the seeds in it and then you would just eat it out of the bag and spit, like my jaw is clenching

because it's so good. Oh, me too. It's so sour. Oh, my mom used to buy that for me all the time. Salivating right now. Oh my god, me too. It's so sour. Oh, my mom used to buy them for me all the time. Salivating right now. Oh, my God. Me too.

It was so good. Have you ever had tamarind in ketchup? I don't believe I have. That sounds good. That sounds really good. That seems like it really makes sense. But that's why I said ketchup also might be a chutney because you certainly had tamarind chutney before, right?

Of course, yeah. But tamarind chutney is thin. Tamarind chutney is thin, yeah. Thinner than ketchup. Most chutneys are thinner than ketchup. I agree with that. I agree with that. I agree with that. Hey, just wanted to take a minute to tell you about a new scripted podcast I'm in alongside

Rhett and Link called Ronstadt. Episodes one and two just dropped. Ronstadt is a supernatural noir comedy set on the mean streets of LA about a 911 dispatcher whose night job, along with a self-described crater, leads him deep into Side B, a world filled with magic, monsters, and all things mythical. There's some awesome cameos from some of your favorite mythical crew members, including moi, so please check it out on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever else you get your podcasts. Make sure to follow so you can be one of the first to listen. Josh, why are you trying to be logical today?

It's pissing me off. I don't understand. Well, no, because I... You always think out of the box and make me, you know, go into a different part of my mind. Now, why won't you just do that for me? I'm trying. I'm trying. Okay, I'm thinking of...

No, you're not. You're being stubborn like the Taurus you are. Oh, my God. That's such a... No, I only know you're a Gemini. Anytime I ask Nicole to test her mic on set, she goes, my name's Nicole. I'm 27 years old.

I'm a Gemini. My third date with, and then she starts going off on a story. No, no, no. I say, and I love avocados. Oh, you do say that. You do say that. I'm talking about my dates.

Let's talk about smoothies. What about them? What the fruit is a smoothie? A smoothie is, well, according to what I'm looking at, they have their roots in Mediterranean Eastern cultures, which made pureed fruit mixtures similar to modern smoothies. However, it wasn't until electric appliances like the refrigerator and blender became available to the creamy concoction became popular in the U.S.

Smoothies were not invented until 1990 in St. Louis, Obispo, California, which is when Juice Club was founded. Out of here, bro. That's what I believe. The modern smoothie, the modern smoothie culture, the way that when we say it today, California, which is when Juice Club was founded. Out of here, bro. That's what I believe. The modern smoothie. The modern smoothie culture. The way that when we say it today, Nicole, we're going to go out and get some smoothies. I never, you know I hate smoothies.

I hate smoothies too. They make my throat itch. They give me like a throat ache. Well, what kind of smoothies are you thinking about? Is this a trick question? Like the raspberry razzmatazz? No, like I go to Whole Foods and I get like a smoothie. I got you. But are those question? Like the raspberry razzmatazz? No, like I go to Whole Foods and I get like a smoothie. I got you.

But are those frozen? Like frozen? Because to me, when I think of smoothie, I'm thinking about like Jamba Juice, Juice Stop, Juice It Up, these kinds of places. There's something called Robex. Oh, I like Robex. With the fro-yo in there? Not only fro-yo, they'll put like, I mean, it's a glorified milkshake, right?

Yeah. There's some frozen fruit, but there's like, there's sherbet in there. There's ice cream in there. They have this one called the peanut butter banana surprise over at the Jamba Juice. No, it's called peanut butter mood. Oh, you're right. Peanut butter mood. Mood.

Because cows moo and cows make peanut butter out of their udders. I just thought it was like a weird like linguistics thing because they had like the accent like mood. You know what I mean? It's M-O-apostrophe-O-V. You think it was like an Arabic word? I don't know. Ma'ood. Ma'ood. Peanut butter ma'ood. No, but what I'm saying

is it's just a milkshake, right? There's literally ice cream in there. It's frozen yogurt. It's a milkshake. It's a milkshake, right? But now the definition of smoothie, I feel, is changing as people become simultaneously more health conscious, but also like more health unconscious. I guess. In America, I feel like we're polarizing even more where the fast food restaurants are coming out with more and more monstrous things like the breakfast Baconator, which is pretty good.

We had it the other day. It was fine. I didn't have it. I watched you eat it all though. It was impressive. I thought it was going to be a hamburger patty, but it was a sausage. Oh, really? Which is weird that a hamburger, yeah, it's just sausage.

Was it a square? No, I don't even believe it was a square sausage. I think it was just to be a hamburger patty, but it was a sausage. Oh, really? Which is weird that a hamburger, yeah, it's just sausage. Was it a square? No, I don't even believe it was a square sausage. I think it was just like a normal breakfast sandwich. But point is, I think like fast food restaurants are getting more audacious with their kind of like unhealthy, very stonerific cuisines. Think about Jack in the Box's munchie menu, right? Putting fried chicken and nacho cheese on a croissant. Whereas the healthy places like Jamba Juice, they are doubling down on health trends. Jamba Juice actually, I believe in 2018, they decided to take the word juice out of their name entirely.

Kind of the way Dunkin' Donuts did. So they're Jamba? Strictly Jamba now. Interesting. And that's because they want to get away from just selling smoothies and juice. And they want to be just a full stop health store so they can sell acai bowls. So when people go there, they're thinking about their egg white fritt they can sell acai bowls so when people go there they're thinking about their egg white frittatas and their acai bowls and not smoothies and juices let me tell you whenever i was in culinary school my school was right next to jamba juice i used to

get their oatmeal every single day yeah i used to get their oatmeal too why was it so good it's so good i don't know why so good it's giving the right little packet of goo and nuts why was it so good i don't know i used to get it in college oh my god like every single day it's just this weird like flavor memory for me like i would wake up drive to link or shim oh what a headache that was oh you're at the north hollywood yeah i was at the north for like a little bit and then i would like go to jamba juice and i would get bananas and honey and then there would always be like extra nuts like in the like bistro area that i would just go to yoink and put some in my in my oatmeal from jamba i have a question for you good what's a date shake oh my god a date shake date shake's

one of the most delightful things in the world i know are you asking like what is it is it a smoothie or is it a ketchup or just that's what i'm asking josh that's right what's a date shake dude date shake is the uh uh oh man my my favorite ice cream maker uh mercedes of casa coco uh she's doing a date and olive oil ice cream this week and holy crap i'm so excited for that oh my god she like come to your door and drop it off for you no i i go to her i'd like i go to her place that sounds weird and lascivious i mean like i go there and like it's like a curbside pickup yeah yeah um god i'm sorry i just got real excited about that but no date shake uh dates pretty much blended with vanilla ice cream and milk i don't think you consider that a smoothie

i believe the dates albeit a fruit it's like a strawberry milkshake is still a milkshake not a smoothie i believe a smoothie this is tough because the definition of smoothies are changing this is what i was getting at with the jamba juice thing all these smoothie chains started in the 90s uh the biggest ones jamba started in 1990 i think robex is 96 uh you know juice it up was like 95 all these places started in the 90s when we had these like weird ideas about health i know we have weird ideas about health right now but we're coming out of the era where people were like eating a grapefruit for breakfast and sucking down cottage cheese like they were gogurts yep you know and so uh this whole kind of like post aerobics let's turn

this into a lifestyle smoothies drink your fruit it's delicious but we was just throwing sorbet and ice cream in there and they were these 600 calorie bombs and now that the world is polarizing more in terms of healthy food and unhealthy food they're like doubling down and so they're like getting rid of

I mean half their smoothies now aren't pure fruit there's like veggies in them there's like a beet and berries one. Yeah, I appreciate it. That I really enjoy. And there's lower sugar in it because if I'm eating less healthy food, it's not going to be an indulgent smoothie. No, I'm getting a breakfast bacon maker. Of course.

And so I think the definition of smoothie is now changing to where if you consider ketchup to be a smoothie, it doesn't rely on the fact that a tomato is a fruit. No. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're strictly talking about like a viscosity and a certain type of ingredient in there. But I think once you break down

that fruit wall, and if you agree that smoothies are not only fruit, because most smoothies aren't fruit. Now you go to Whole Foods, you got a smoothie, it's not even cold anymore. I know.

What the fruit is that? I almost said the F word out loud because I'm so incensed. I got a smoothie with like, it was like kale and almond milk and like some like nut butter and I thought it was going to be this nice, delicious, cold, refreshing treat. It was just like a warm, blended soup. It was basically a soup. So you're right.

Yeah, I think smoothies. It's a f***ing soup. Sorry, Maggie. So you're right. It's a soup. It is a soup. Soups and smoothies are very, very similar. I think they're one and the same. I mean, if we really track. Does that mean ketchup is a soup soups and smoothies are very very similar i think they're one in the same i mean if we if we really track does that mean ketchup is a soup no maybe oh no maybe okay if you really track if you nicole if you i initially balked i balked hard at your chicken smoothie concept uh-huh i said that is obviously a soup it's a porridge if there's any grain in there if it's thick it's a porridge however if you track where smoothies are going into the future,

Whole Foods is three days away from adding a GD bone broth option to put in your kale smoothie. Well, yeah. I'm telling you. Okay, so I watch Vice a lot. I watch a lot of Vice documentaries. And there's this lady bodybuilder who makes chicken smoothies with rice and water and chicken. And she sucks them down and she loves it. And, like, I would never do that.

and chicken and she sucks them down and she loves it and like i would never do that but i would never balk at someone because her goal is to be the biggest bodybuilder in the united kingdom and i love that for her oh god drink my chicken smoothies she's like you know i drink me chicken smoothies and then i bulk up before my meats i don't know maybe she's austral. I don't know. But I don't think, I think it's just the act of putting things and blending it makes it a smoothie, I guess, for me. I think maybe it's the way you consume it. Because I'm thinking about this chicken smoothie thing, right? It's only a chicken smoothie and not a chicken soup because I'm guessing she puts it in a glass and drinks it with a straw. Right? Am I picturing it right?

Or does she chug it? But she puts it in a glass, right? I think she might. You know what she does? She makes little baggies. She weighs out the baggies. She freezes it. And then she adds water. And then she blends it. And then I think she just drank it straight out of the blender.

So like drinking it straight out of the blender, right? You probably wouldn't do that with a soup. You're probably decanting a soup and putting it into a bowl. Decant? Decant. You decant the soup from the blender. Who decants? I decant. I have a soup aerator on the tip of my blender. My mouth is a soup aerator. I think I used to drink what one could consider a fish smoothie. Tell me about it.

This is when I had just gotten really back into working out heavy. I had gotten my hernia reconstructed. Howie. Yeah, super, super fun. But also I had a really crazy oral surgery that was like an emergency thing

because I had some nightmare dental stuff happen to where my dentist told me they're very old school. They have, you know, deep, they were like USSR dentists.

Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, straight up. That's kind of awesome. They're chill. I really like them. They're fun people. But anyways,

they told me that I couldn't chew food for a month. I don't know if that's like true, but I was so worried. Was your mouth wired? No, it wasn't wired. I just had like a crazy amount of like bone loss in my jaw because a dentist left a metal filing several years ago just up in my jaw after a root canal.

Are you kidding me? And so there was also no nerve in that tooth. So I wasn't feeling any pain. You're kidding me. Meanwhile, the infection from the metal filing was eating away at the bone. I just got chills all over my body. they thought they were gonna have to send me into straight up like jaw surgery surgery uh and then uh it's a husband and wife team and then the husband just goes over and he just goes like they're arguing in in armenian um which is great

because i couldn't hear it and then the guy just goes like no no no i'll fix it i'll fix it i'll fix it and then the wife throws up her hands and she like walks away and i was like boy i hope you i hope he wins. So anyways, point is I had a giant hole in my mouth and they were growing back a bone and I had to go to the dentist every day. Where this is going is that I still wanted to get a bunch of protein, but I couldn't chew food. So what I would do is I would steam some flaky fish like flounder and I would throw it in a blender with water and chickpeas. And then I would drink it through a bubble straw. Yeah.

Trying to not get any food particle matter in my tooth hole. Yeah. That's called a smoothie. I think it's hummus. You made fish hummus? I made fish hummus. Okay. Well, look at you.

No, but now that I'm thinking about it, the definition of smoothie is changing so much. The definition of ketchup has changed so much that I don't think you can track either one on any sort of parallel plane with each other. But if we could. But if we could. But if we could, what would we do? Smoothie is not ingredient dependent. We've decided that, right? Correct.

Food is about to put bone broth in smoothies. You can get exclusively vegetable smoothies. Correct. You can do a chicken smoothie. Oh, yes, you can. Ketchup is not ingredient dependent. There's banana ketchup. You know, there's tomato ketchup.

There's sugar-free ketchup out there. Yeah. There was banana ketchup. You know, there's tomato ketchup. There's sugar-free ketchup out there. Yeah. There was mushroom ketchup, fish ketchup, all that. Neither ingredient dependent. So it must be process dependent or consumption dependent. Okay. So if you think about the process of a smoothie, smoothie, it doesn't necessarily have to be raw. Because I think, you know, that's what a lot of people would say.

Ketchup is cooked. Smoothies are raw. But that said, if you were to... A cooked smoothie is a soup. you think a cooked smoothie is a soup for the most part but not all soups are cooked based on the like uh constructionist yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes so but if you were to say i don't know cook blueberries into a jam and then add that to a smoothie as a main ingredient you know with ice with you know a little bit of nut butter or whatever do you think that wouldn't be a smoothie i think it still would be a smoothie also think about the high heat that peanut butter is processed at in order oh it's true i think that's the thing that

people don't realize they think of things as raw or cooked and don't understand the process that like all milk is heated before you know it goes out it's technically that stuff's all cooked there's been a lot of heat added to it correct but then if you look at the consumption based cooked there's been a lot of heat added to it correct but then if you look at the consumption based idea anything that is reasonably thick i would say somewhere near a chowder consistency that you put in a glass and could possibly drink with a straw because there can't be chunks all right it's got to be smooth to be a smoothie obviously it's called a smoothie but really if you could drink it through a boba straw and it's reasonably thick why you gotta do boba straw why not just regular straw boba straws is the best thick. Why can't I do a boba straw? Why not just regular straw?

Boba straws are just the best way to get a lot of smoothie in you. I love drinking out of boba straws, but I like, you know what? I like to take three little red straws and a little stir straws. And I use three and I just. Like a little hummingbird in a feeder. Okay, so I think we've broken this down to a good place where we have three possible answers, three routes. Ingredient dependent is not the case, right? Yes.

They don't either have to have fruit. It is not the case. Process dependent I don't believe can be the case either because you can feasibly have cooked things in a smoothie. Ketchup is cooked. I think this all comes down to the consumption dependent variable of ketchup hood and smoothie hood if you are and again this isn't going off of like popularization like i know people don't go to uh a ketchup bar and get a 32 ounce thing of ketchup in a cup and sip it they don't but i'm saying they could yeah possibly you know there's a lot of salt in there but you could drop that

salt levels it'll still be a reasonable ketchup and you could drink it with a straw so i think at this point this question is so deranged that we must get to an equally deranged answer which is if you take ketchup that is served cold and you put that in a glass with a straw if you have any sort of reasonable smoothie like consumption of it then it is a smoothie. Thank you so much. I agree with you. Oh, holy crap. You just won, huh? I win.

We haven't done that in a long time. We haven't had like a clear kind of winner. Yeah, this is fun whenever I win. I should do it more. All right, Nicole, I've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call Opinions on Casserole. What were you doing?

What were you? I feel like you were off on that. Opinions are like. I don't have any sort of internal timing. Opinions are like... I don't have any sort of internal timing. Opinions are like... Casseroles! Hey, opinions, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow on my head. Opinions!

Like casseroles. All right, first up, we got, at George Haskell, Oreos don't belong in cake, too crunchy. He's saying on or in cake, too crunchy. Nicole, you dead man. I'm sorry. You just make me laugh so much sometimes. What was the opinion?

Oreos don't belong on or in cake. Too crunchy. Be quiet. No, no, no. I believe that Oreos can be obstructive when they're crunchy. That's why they need to be softened. I want a nice softened Oreos. You put them in a steam bath for a little bit.

I like when the Oreos are nice and soft. Like in my ice cream, I like them put them in a steam bath. Yeah. I like when the Oreos are nice and soft, like in my ice cream. I like them when they're nice and soft. Yeah. I agree with that. I don't put, I don't like putting fresh Oreos as a topping on ice cream, which is why a McFlurry works when you let it sit. You like, I don't let a McFlurry sit for like at least 30 minutes. So the ice cream can hydrate the Oreo a little bit. One time I bought a McFlurry with my mom. Where's that? How could that be this funny? She told me to stop eating it.

And I said, okay, and I just threw it out. Littering's not cool, okay? I was like 11. And then she's like, why did you do that? I said, you said I didn't need to eat it anymore, so I threw it away. What was going through 11-year-old Nicole's head when you did that? i was a horrible child you're such a bad kid that was actually well i don't know we'll talk about that later okay curly undistorted cap says beef isn't even that good lamb is a superior red meat and chicken is more versatile uh this is an interesting opinion preach yeah well lamb

sometimes gives me a tummy ache that's's on you, not the lamb. Get stronger. How much core do you do? That has nothing to do with my question. It's my GI issue. No, no, no. Strengthen the muscles around the gastrointestinal tract. I'm not going to touch your midsection.

It's weird. It's soft. Touch it. I don't know. I love beef. I think beef tastes good. I think beef is very versatile. Yeah, beef's great. Lamb's better. I fully't know. I love beef. I think beef tastes good. I think beef is very versatile. Yeah, beef's great. Lamb's better.

I fully believe it. And I think people say that lamb has a stronger flavor. It does. I don't think so. I think beef has a stronger flavor. In my opinion, we are just more used to it. We just eat more beef. Okay, maybe.

But then if you really think about it, I mean, think about the beefiness of a beef stew versus that same- The lambiness of a lamb stew? Yeah, I feel like beef stew is beefier than lambiness of a lamb stew yeah i feel like beef stew is beefier than lamb stew is lamby well no i feel like lamb has a more mild dulce flavor i get you get the gaminess you get the grassiness there there can be that a little bit of blue cheese funk but to me like beef i don't know i've just gotten sick of beefiness i think i'm just over it i've had some like um stewed like i love birria birria de res it's one of my favorites i mean i i prefer

goat or birria de borrego with lamb or mutton um is really incredible also i get a lot of people criticizing me for saying that borrego is lamb and people like no it's mutton the definition of lamb and mutton legally is very tenuous and it's different country to country lamb is just youthful mutton lamb is youthful mutton and in america, it's any mutton that is slaughtered before six months. However, like most pigs are slaughtered even like before that. Like we just raise animals so fast in America. And so like what one person considers a lamb in one country could be mutton in another. But America has this huge anti-mutton bias.

And it has to do with food that was served during World War II. They used to get like canned mutton, the U.S. and British troops. Oh, wow. Okay. And so people came back and they were like, screw that. Interesting. And they're like, what do we call it? Lamb. Lamb. They used to get like canned mutton, the U.S. and British troops. Oh, wow. Okay. And so people came back and they were like, screw that. Interesting. And they're like, what do we call it? Lamb. They're like, oh, we'll eat the baby version of it.

Sure. Sure. Point is, I've had some like birria de res that's just like way too beefy and you can't experience the chilies and the other ingredients. All you're getting is drowned in beef flavor. Interesting. And I don't know, man, we were eating those lamb chops the other day. Lamb chops right now are my current favorite meat, man.

Nice. Just a nice little lollipop, ripping it off. Oh, yeah, I'm on a big lamb kick, so I agree with that. And I love chicken. The chicken thigh is undefeated. I like chicken, too. At sea or wirek. That's a toughie.

A glass of milk is not complete without ice. I also believe this. No, you don't. I am. I am an ice milker. No, you're not. I sure am. I drink my milk on ice i do if you see me drinking milk not on ice in the kitchen it's because we don't have any ice in

the kitchen i'm judging or we only have the giant 7-eleven bags in the kitchen i don't feel like chop like hacking off a piece of ice so judging you why i milk is the best when it's ice cold i also a little bit of water off the ice like a glass of whiskey opens up the milk no it doesn't it does not open up the milk. It waters down the milk. I like to drink milk straight out of the carton. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm a carton drinker. Hello, my name is Nicole, and I drink milk straight out of the carton.

What's the most satisfying carton to drink up for you? Lactate. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. But do you get the cardboard box? Yeah, you've got to get the cardboard box. But with a nipple on it? No.

Does it have the screw off? The screw off? Not like a baby bottle nipple. I mean like the screw off cap. Like you're not like, because like I remember drinking the cartons in elementary school. That like you have to, it's just cardboard and you kind of peel it. Oh no, I have the screw off top and then I just go glug, glug, glug. If you did not open your chocolate milk properly, like at elementary school lunch and you got

the frayed cardboard that would just get wet as you tried to like drink it, that was a day ruiner. No, you know how I would open my milks i would open them like a like a square not in a triangle i would square it off and then i would just put my straw in because they would give a straw oh see i don't i don't like straws i love straws i like to guzzle i love drinking stuff out of straws i was like if you drink full fat milk i don't drink full fat milk what do you what do you drink like one percent well you can't afford to water down one percent if you're drinking full fat milk you can don't drink full fat milk. What do you drink? Like 1%. Well, you can't afford to water down 1%. If you drink full fat milk, you can afford to water it down.

Because then it just turns into 1%. No, no, no. I just, I don't like full fat milk. I mean, I love full fat milk, but like I can't eat full fat milk. Yeah, yeah. It's too much. It's too much. Sometimes just an ice cold glass of milk on a burning hot day.

I don't know about that, but it's nice with a dessert. Makes you strong. Weichman95 said, egg whites with cinnamon and maple syrup. Smiley face. Okay, hand. Why? I can't. I can't.

Why do you do this? Maybe if you added some almond flour, it would be like, you know, a little sweet quiche. This sounds like, I'm the one who's defended sugar eggs. But once you take the yolk out, because the yolk to me is what binds it to a little bit of the custard family.

Once you take the yolk out. Okay, okay. If you whip these egg whites with the cinnamon and maple. Yes, you have a meringue. You have a meringue. That's sweet. That's the same ingredient. Where's the sugar though?

Maple syrup. Yeah, that would kill the meringue. This to me sounds like a bodybuilding, you you know very like hashtag clean eating type of thing that someone like no wonder i don't like it because like i mean i do the same thing sometimes with like egg protein powder nut butter and yogurt and then i just griddle that off like a pancake and it like looks like a pancake it chews like sweetened shoe leather ew uh it's not great but like you know if I'm really on a kick where I'm trying to like lift real big and get real big and get 60 grams of protein at 11 at night I'll do that that to me is what this sounds like a little bit which I respect I respect

that we all have different needs for our diet and our eating do you if that's what you enjoy the thought of it though smelling those egg whites and the maple sounds horrible especially because I hate maple syrup on eggs like like in a Denny's breakfast. Not diggity down. Not diggity down at all. I haven't had a Denny's breakfast in like maybe 10 years. Jeez. I don't, I don't, I don't need it.

You know what my problem is, is going to Denny's and IHOP was always great after a night of drinking. But also if I'm drinking, then I'm also eating late night munchies at two in the morning. So I wake up full. So my like hangover routine, which like, you know, may or may not have gotten into this weekend a little bit, is to go to Whole Foods and get the biggest green juice I can get and like 30 ounces of black coffee and then a kombucha. And I just flush.

Just flush. That makes sense. Get the bad out. Yeah, that makes sense. Get the bad out. Here we go. At Leany, chocolate chip cookies are better without the chocolate chips i as i would say yes however i want like chocolate chips on the side for dipping

no i want the chocolate wafers you know you know the the the coins the chocolate yeah it's not the guilt not the guilt but yeah the coins you know what i'm talking about i think they're called wafers yeah they're called wafers yeah i love those yeah i mean yeah in a chocolate chip cookie i don't like chocolate chips and chocolate no chips are the worst application of chocolate in a cookie i agree yeah chocolate i mean even like chocolate chunks anything that's squared off something gives you a little bit more surface area is what i want um but that said i want i want bites of a chocolate chip cookie where there is no chocolate sure yeah i think i think there needs to be an a uh a dissipation

of chocolate agreed it's like how i want bites of a sandwich where there is no pickle oh well i want one out of every three bites of a sandwich to not have pickle in it because then that makes in the sandwich or is the pickle on the side pickles in the sandwich pickles in the sandwich but sometimes i don't even like pickles in a sandwich oh i get extra pickles in all of my sandwiches because to me the pickle is there as a palate cleanser, right? It's like the intermezzo sorbet or the ginger between sushi. The pickle is a palate cleanser. It's to reset, to make you appreciate the sandwich more.

Well, yeah, I think it depends on the sandwich. Like on a burger, I need pickles. No, see, I want there to be one in every three bites on a burger where it's just beef and cheese and condiment. And then you get that pickle bite refresher. Pow, your palate's reset. You're back on top. I hate tomato in my burgers. Oh, really?

I hate tomato. It doesn't add anything for me. It takes away. I might actually come to think of it. I used to put it on. I love like a tomato-based product, but if I'm putting tomato on a burger at home, I'm like roasting the tomatoes really heavily.

Yeah. Because there's just too much water content in the tomato. Yeah, too much water. And like, it doesn't add anything for for me like I try to get my burgers without tomato but I'll add like onion and like pickle and lettuce but I don't like tomato to me like the tomato should be the star of a show in a sandwich

like a tomato sandwich oh like a BLT I mean a BLT is a tomato sandwich to me you need that big beautiful gorgeous tomato I need salt and pepper salt and pepper the tomatoes yeah when's when's tomato season it's coming up we're coming up we're hurdling towards tomato season yeah yeah we can make blt dude big old beefsteaks oh my god okay amaya marie says wife

just introduced me to artichokes and thousand island sauce incredibles yeah uh this pretty much sounds like have you ever been to an italian restaurant and they they give you artichokes and then you dip it in the sauce? Same thing. Yeah. It's good. It's a good discovery. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you.

I feel like I'd still prefer that lemon garlic aioli. I like Thousand Island with it, though. Which I guess is just straight mayonnaise. Lemon garlic aioli. That's just mayonnaise. Just with lemon garlic. I think this is delicious and it makes total sense to me. And I'm really glad you found out about it.

No matter what, artichokes will never be worth the effort, though. Oh, we love artichokes in my house really we make you guys like steam them whole or you yeah yeah we cook the and then you like eat the leaves you just like suck on the leaves yeah but we cook the ever-living crap out of them they are like dark just that that brownish swamp green but it's delicious i like that i don't mind it at tina underscore flina hot dog buns just the bun with a drizzle of caramel sauce is a great snack. Yes. I grew up eating syrup sandwiches.

I'd put just mix sugar and butter, put that in a sandwich. I would take Duncan Hines frosting and I would put that on white bread and eat it as a cake. American store-bought bread is so sugary that it should legally have to be classified as a yeast cake, which in Ireland, they actually did that to Subway. So, yeah, what you're eating is just called a yeast cake with a little bit caramel, and that's delicious. Yeah, I like mine with Nutella. My hot dog went with Nutella, so yeah, I go. Yeah, microwave that hot dog bun for about four seconds before just to soften it, and you're in Flavortown. Stephen Schaefer says, I love a little honey on my ramen. My wife thinks I'm gross. I'm sorry your wife thinks you're gross. The honey doesn't

really deter me that much. Yeah, good luck on your marriage, though. Yeah, I'm sorry. Are they talking about instant ramen, you think? In my mind, I mainly went to tonkotsu ramen. I did, too. Honey on that sounds nice. A little weird. I'm not gonna lie. A little weird. But imagine someone

be like a honey garlic bomb. You know how they make little flavor bombs? That makes a little bit of sense uh this is at latifa madu hot cheetos are good dipped in nutella no they're not this is one of those things no i've done it where you've done it yeah why have you done it because i went because we had a high school delicacy i told you about hot cheeto creamel hot Cheetos and cream cheese is the greatest combination in history so we were like let's try it with Nutella and it was like bad I do not get down

to citric acid and chocolate like I don't even like chocolate covered strawberries you know I think we need a new sexy time fruit you know

like just edible arrangements you know like you want to be like real romantic with your partner get a little ball of cantaloupe we're rebranding sexy fruit guys it's cantaloupe it's a ball of cantaloupe but then it's set inside

a squiggle of honeydew so it almost looks like a flower if you've never seen a flower no it looks like a flower like an animated flower yeah like a cartoon flower but lativa i mean if you enjoy it that's the only thing that matters because here's the thing food it's all about friendship and family. And smoothies are about what you can suck through a straw. And that, Nicole, is the real opinion casserole. Huh? Was I supposed to respond to that?

Because I didn't want to. Why'd you go quiet? Because why would I respond to that? And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like C, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up

on Twitter at MythicalChef or at HandyZada with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week.

And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. We'll see you next time in the Mythical Kitchen. In the Mythical Catchin'. In the Mythical Catchin'. you