A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Matty Matheson Reveals What Chefs Eat When No One Is Looking

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

Today, we're joined by Matty Matheson, an internationally known chef, host, and author to discuss: What Do Chefs Eat When No One is Looking? Check out Matty's work: https://www.youtube.com/mattymatheson https://www.instagram.com/mattymatheson To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Chefs, they're just like us. They put their socks on one leg at a time, they eat Taco Bell in their car at 1 a.m. while crying to 80s love songs. Today, we're talking about what chefs actually eat when no one's looking. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And today we are excited to be joined by the one and only Matty Matheson. Matty's an internationally

recognized chef and personality who's been breaking barriers since his cooking debut back in 2003. He's currently hosting Just a Dash on his own YouTube channel, as well as Eat Out America with Benny Blanco. He also wrote back-to-back New York Times bestselling cookbooks, Maddie Matheson, A Cookbook, and Homestyle Cookery. Maddie, welcome to the show. Maddie, welcome to the show. Good to be here.

Thanks for having me. I have quite the resume. You do. Anything we missed? Do you want to add anything in there? All-around good guy. Yeah, good one. Super handsome. That's a good one.

Empathetic lover. Yeah. Just a lot of empathy and the lovemaking. I feel that. And, you know, no, I don't know. I don't know what else I do. Who cares? Honestly, okay.

That was good. That was good, though. Thank you. That was good. I felt that. Speaking of who cares, wait, also, hold on. My brother gave me an icebreaker. Should I drop the icebreaker my brother gave?

If you're interested, sure. I'm ready for it. Well, Maddie's the first guest to be in the studio since my brother was in here, which is hilarious. So you got a lot. You got John Sherry to live up to. Okay. That's right.

That's right. He's like a mortgage equity specialist or something. Who likes wine. He likes wine. Okay. But we were hiking this weekend and I told him that Maddie was coming on the show and he goes, I got an icebreaker for you. And I go, whoa, that's incredible.

What is it? And he goes, tell him that I ate his beef and cheddar sandwich in Adelaide, Australia. Wow! At a beer and barbecue festival. Yeah, he said it was good. Wow, that's a nice compliment. It was good. Thank you, John. He had

better words to say. Yeah. Well, you know, I love Australia. Adelaide, great spot. And, you know, made a lot of beef and cheddars. That sounds great, man. That sounds great. You said something earlier, Maddie. You said, who cares?

Who cares? Who cares? Let's examine that because honestly, no, no, no. Okay, hold on. Tuck into who cares. No, but that seems to be like a big part of your attitude towards, let's just say food media, which is like what we're all participating in right now. It's about to get really meta up in here because we titled this What Do Chefs Actually Eat When No One Is Looking.

Yes. Because all people see of any of us are when they're looking, literally, right? We're always eating on camera. We're cooking on camera. And like specifically your lasagna video, the chorizo lasagna on Just a Dash just always really spoke to me because you're like, have this meta critique on food media. We're like, I'm cooking this fresh. I'm not just, you know, putting something in the oven and then taking out the swap later and all that.

And you get kind of real with it. What do you actually eat when the cameras aren't rolling? Like, you know, when you're not incentivized to cook the wildest stuff on YouTube to get views, what are you actually eating? What am I really eating? Well, yesterday I had udon noodles and some tempura at a Japanese food court, which was really nice. Lovely. And a lot of hot dogs.

I love hot dogs, boiled hot dogs, like a nice boiled hot dog. I respect the boiled hot dog. That's an underrated way to eat hot dogs. And just like a piece of like white bread and like mustard and like some onion. It's a good way to eat a hot dog. And then, see, I'll eat any – but the thing is like I just spent the weekend in Palm Springs. Lovely. And there's a lot of different restaurants there and we found this beautiful restaurant called Elmer's.

And Elmer's, I ate three meals there. And I think I'm just a creature of habit. Okay. And when I find something that I like, I go there a lot. It's just a creature of habit. Okay. And when I find something that I like, I go there a lot. And they have, you know, it's like a diner, family-owned kind of diner in the middle of the desert.

And, you know, they just had this really sh**ty salad. Yeah. And it was just like chopped brown iceberg lettuce. Yeah. The pink hands. Let's go. Sliced black olives. Oh, wow. You know, really crappy croutons from like a box.

I can taste that. Oh, wow. You know, really crappy croutons from like a box. I can taste that. And some raw, stinky red diced onion. Diced, not even like sliced. And yeah. And then just a side of blue cheese dressing.

I ate that three times in a salad. Wow. And I really enjoyed it. And I was putting it up on my Instagram. And people were really feeling that, you know? And I think like that's the thing is like, you know, everyone's here putting – and I do it all the time. Like I love caviar. I love sea urchin.

I love, you know, it's like the caviar and the cool guy stuff and the, you know, the Toros and all that. It's like what you do kind of but not even. It's like really – it's like a really crappy like wedge salad and like overcooked prime rib dinner with like overcooked baby carrots and like brown broccoli and like canned brown gravy, mashed potatoes. It's kind of my favorite meal. And like a sliced like chocolate cake that's been underneath like a dome or like a cloche or whatever you want to call it. It kind of smells like fridge a little bit. Yeah, it's like ice fridge cold cake and a cup of coffee. I think that might be some of my favorite stuff. Del Taco is such a beautiful thing.

How did you become obsessed with Del Taco? Because that's our thing. That's a California thing. That did you become obsessed with Del Taco? Because that's like our thing. That's a California thing. I love it. That is a California thing. And I can explain. This may not hit maybe your followers aren't into it, but there was a hardcore band from Orange County called 18 Visions.

Okay. And in their liner notes, they thanked Del Taco. And in 2000, I remember, maybe even earlier, but I remember reading liner notes and like, that's how you would find out about bands. Bands would have like thank lists and like, you would, they'd be like, oh, thank this band and this band. And in their liner notes, they thanked like Del Taco. And I was like, I have to go to Del Taco. I'm going to go to California one day. I'm going to eat Del Taco. And then I came like the first time I came to like LA or like more so like,

like Orange County, I was like, I'm going to Del – and everyone was like, why do you want to go to Del Taco? I was like, I need to go. And then I went and I was just like, oh, this is just better like Taco Bell. But I like – and every time I come – every time I go to Orange County, like I had Del Taco I guess once this weekend. But I like it. What do you get from Del Taco? Because that's our thing.

It was the only thing that was open late night for the stoner kids to go 24 hours in Orange County. That was the reason Del Taco existed for us. But what do you get there? I get just two hard Del Tacos with sour cream. I like sour cream.

So I get lettuce, tomato, sour cream on them and cheese. It was so funny. I called it a mucho burrito, but it's a macho? Macho burrito. Macho burrito. What's a macho burrito? I don't know. It's like a diaper.

They're never a tube too. They're always like a kind of like wrong voice. You have to re-roll. I always re-roll it. Oh, you do? I take it out and tighten it up. I tighten it up. That's dedication.

Soigne. Yeah, I make a soigne.ye and really make that burrito curl. But yeah, I think I'm like in the – like I am that high-low. Like I enjoy eating a clam shack on the side of the road in the Maritimes. Right on. And I always say like there's no such thing as bad food. Yeah, man. There is.

That bad meal maybe brought a real fun memory. And you talk about the bad meals just as much as the good meals. So doesn't that make that all good meals? Agreed. You know? I hate – the only place that I don't eat is on planes. Yeah. You know?

Like I don't eat on planes because I find it just depressing. So I don't eat on planes. I find it just depressing. So I don't eat on planes. I'll eat in the airport before. Yeah, I'll go to the Panda Express before and I'll really enjoy the hell out of that meal. But what if you're going to like Dubai or something? No. You bring something in your pocket.

Eat a handful of almonds and you'll be grateful. Just chew them up. You drink your water. I sleep the whole time. Oh, that's good. Like anytime I go to Australia or even when I went to Dubai or, yeah, Dubai, I sleep the

whole way. Or Japan. I can just sleep the whole way. Oh, God. I'll just zonk out. I envy that. Resent that, man. Yeah.

No movies. I don't watch movies on planes either. Do you read? No. You don't do anything? Do I read? This is for the girl. Just like a novella?

Just like a couple of novellas? I don't know. Maybe like a nice, I don't know, newspaper? Nicole, you're the one who told me like, I haven't read a book in nine years. So what? You have like your plane book. I agree with that. I have a plane book.

I never like, I've never finished my plane book. No. But I have a plane book. I read, I read audio, like I read not even, I listen to audio books, but I have some books that I have read on my audio phone. Fine. Or whatever on my audio phone. Fine. Or whatever you call your phone. I watched the movie Point Break, the 2015 remake of Point Break, twice on the same flight.

Wow. Same flight. Living the dream. With one movie in between. I started watching The Danish Girl or something, and I was like, this seems sad. I'm going to watch Point Break again. Tag, Step Brothers. Oh, yeah.

Step Brothers is the best playing movie. That's all I can do. I can't watch. Or just a Marvel movie. That's the only time I'll watch a big Marvel movie or something like that. Easy watching garbage that just passes by. Just need to make me feel nothing.

Speaking of social media and food, look at these segues, Nicole. Oh my gosh, did you write these down somewhere? No, not even a little bit. It's in your brain? It's just right there. I'm so proud of you. Would you say that what you show on social media and on video is purely you, especially in terms of like what you eat or just your personality?

Or do you think that that has shifted over time? I definitely think that I've certainly become a caricature of myself online. You know, like I think if you watch, like it's so funny, like I never used to yell. I used to never like do this thing this thing that I, like, am known for. And, like, I was, like, sometimes, like, I'll go back and just watch, like, my first five videos. Yeah. And be, like, how do I get back there? Yeah.

Do you want to go back there? I try, and nobody cares. Like, I've done videos. That's great. I've done videos where, like, I'm not going to even, like, swear really a lot. I'm not going to yell. I'm not going to do like swear really a lot. I'm not going to yell. I'm not going to do any like, wah, wah, wah, wah, like just like crank out. Yeah, yeah.

And yeah, nobody cares. That's great. Which is fine. It is like a thing that you like being, the thing too is like I started this I think a little bit before most people started it. Sure. And I think it is one of those things where I had no precursor. There was nobody like really doing what I was doing or I didn't really like watch. Like I still don't watch television.

So it's just like I don't really have like I have a lot of blinders on. And and so, yeah, I think now I have a formula like anybody. I can walk in front of a camera and do a thing. No problem. It doesn't matter if it's ketchup or if it's like a confetti cake. You know, like it doesn't matter. The thing, what you're cooking doesn't matter. You can go in.

I can go through the steps. I understand how to bake. I understand how to make everything. I understand. So you can go in and just kind of rifle through it and turn on this thing. Because that's the thing is like before it was me yeah it was like i understand i was just myself actually like if you go back and watch those videos it's just me still just being funny and more like this like

this is me this is me this is how i talk to my friends this is me whatever besides like not being able to swear because this is you know whatever this is listen i feel you man i don't know it's hard you know how to get into your rhythm right like you can walk in front of anything and do your thing and now i've developed a thing where i can walk in i can shoot five videos in a day no problem because it doesn't matter i'm a shell i'm nothingness i've i've turned you go into a fugue state you know it's like it's like a whirling dervish you have this meditative state and for me i i'm the same way when i watched my first couple videos i'm super calm and in fact i'm not even calm i'm just monotone yeah right and so then you end up you find it like nicole you're great you know you find this rhythm to

where people start commenting oh my god this is so chaotic i love it and they go oh you like when i do that yeah and then suddenly that becomes a crutch for you and then that kind of builds on this caricature yeah so you're like positively reinforced to just become this other person. But it's great because this is the only way we know how to make money. I mean you got actual businesses. Yeah. We don't. Whoa.

Yeah. But it's also like I think with like I don't know. It's an interesting thing like where I'm like the who cares thing. Like I don't look at my edits. I don't. Interesting Like I don't look at my edits. I don't. Interesting. I don't look at my edits. I certainly don't watch any of my content.

I don't watch anybody else's content. Like I see what's on Instagram. I don't go on YouTube. I don't know what the hell is on YouTube. I don't know who, like who's Josh Weissman. Like who are these? Like, you know, like, I know Josh. I like Josh.

What a talented young man. He's got the cadence. He's got the TikTok cadence down. It's great. And I think it's great. People, I love that people can just, like, boom, make money and have a life and buy their parents' cars. I think that's tight. And I think it's like, it is.

It's a beautiful thing. It's just like, man, because it's also stupid. Who cares? Like, who honestly is just like, oh, another guy making a stupid thing on the internet. Again and again and again and again. And you turn into this thing where you're like, put up a video every single week. And there's like, I don't know anything, how to run anything. I honestly, like, I don't know how to run YouTube.

I don't know how to think. If you were to have an actual conversation with me about it, I'd be like, what? I just see that, like, your studio is really nice and my studio is janky. And I'm just like, oh, cool. You guys have curtains. House of cards, though, dude. This is a house of cards. All our stuff is so actual.

Your house of cards is bigger than my house of cards. Fair enough. With the whole YouTube thing and who I am now like i'm older too like i'm 39 and i'm like i started making videos like a while ago and i've had like so many already like careers it feels like and i've traveled the world and i've made so many different things and I'm just like I'm at the point now where I legitimately like don't care. Yeah. And I just want to kind of farm and hang out with my kids. I have three kids now and I just want to hang out with my wife and chill and do stuff.

Like even today I shot like a thing earlier today and I showed it to George Motes. And it's just like I'm like I don't even do these things. Like even me doing this, I'm literally trying not to George Motes. And it's just like, I'm like, I don't even do these things. Like, even me doing this, I'm like, I'm literally trying not to do these things. I was literally wondering why you came on. I was like, you don't need this. Like, what are you doing? It's not about needing. It's about, because I don't need anything.

True. And I've always been at a point where I'm like, I don't need anything. The thing, too, that I had this, not argument, but this person was like, you really want to be famous, don't you? And I was like, no. I want to have money to do whatever I want to do. I will say you have contradicted yourself on that in interviews before. Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Which ones? There's one. Okay, so I was doing my research, right? Yeah, yeah. It's incredible. It's incredible. He does a lot. But, yeah, that was the recent one on Complex, yeah.

Okay. I believe. Which one? A recent thing on Complex? Yeah, yeah. You did one with Complex Canada, and you talked a lot about not wanting to be famous and just wanting to be rich. But kind of being famous is the only route right now that you see right there, which

is something I really empathize with. You talk about disappearing off the face of the earth, which is something that I want to do. If I ever got that type of money, I'd just build my own indoor racquetball court and just host tournaments. Oh, yeah. It'd be that all day. But then I was reading an interview from 2015, and you were like, anyone is full of crap

if they don't say they want to be famous. Right. It was kind of taken out of context. I couldn't exactly tell. But I was curious if that has shifted on you. Yeah. I don't know. I think the thing is, I guess the more famous or popular that I become, the more I just want to hang out with my friends.

Of course. And the thing is, once you figure out how to get, and this is going to sound insane. Once you kind of get into certain circles in Los Angeles, it becomes a lot easier to do things. Sure. And then you want to, like, I've gotten to a point where I'm like, I don't want to go to that party. Yeah, you can say no.

Yeah, like I don't want, like you, I've really realized that you don't have to, you don't have to be friends with everybody. That's very true. And you don't have to network. And you don't have to, like, the. That's very true. And you don't have to network. And you don't have to, like, the thing is, is like, I'm self-contained in Canada. I have a little studio. I have my thing.

I have a farm. I have some restaurants. I have my, my life is in a small little town, you know? And it's not in Los Angeles. I come out here and like do deals or whatever the hell you do out here and do something. And then I go back and I go back to my little town. And I think it's, the fame thing is like, I don't know, because I got it. So I can't even speak on it. And you're like, I am.

I am who I am. I get stopped everywhere I go. And it's like, it's chill. It's like, whatever. Like even it's whatever. I don't know. I sound like an ass. But you don't.

I think your priorities just shifted. And that's a normal thing that happens to humans. You know, when you, I mean, whenever you get married, when you have kids, whenever you get these milestones in your life, when you become famous or whatever, your priorities change and they shift and you change along with them. And that's something that I cannot wait to explore.

I'm willing to call him an a-hole for that. No, I don't think you're an a-hole. No, you absolutely are. I don't. Let me tell you why. I don't. No, because, I mean, this is something I think about a lot, right?

Like, I really empathize with the fact that, like, because you're, I'm not, I get recognized once a week at the pavilions. Occasionally people will buy me a beer at a bar. To me, that's the perfect level of fame that I never want to see. But you're, like, the perfect looking, like, white person, though, right? Yeah, I'm incredibly white. But actually Jewish, so I can pull that out whenever I want to, whenever it suits me. I can be like, I'm not white, I'm Jewish.

But anyways, I'm, like, you I can pull that out whenever I want to, whenever it suits me. I feel like I'm not white, I'm Jewish. But anyways, I'm like, you know, not at that level. And sometimes I get, you know, bummed out about not being more famous just because I could have more money. That'd be really cool. But then there are other times. But fame isn't always fortune. Well, true. True, true, true. You know that.

You understand that. So true. But the reason I say you're an a-hole for sort of rebuffing that fame is that there are literally millions of people who are out there, all the fans, right, who would like kill to have your job. Anytime I complain, I feel like a huge a-hole because it's like I'm living somebody's dream, even though they don't know the turmoil that's going inside my life. Absolutely. And it comes with all this dumb stuff, feeling like you're living inside the freaking algorithm. Sure. You know?

Yeah, the algorithm. Don't even worry about the algorithm, dude. I gotta worry about the algorithm no see so that's the thing you gotta free yourself how do you free yourself no

you don't care yeah truly you get to a point where you stop caring like I don't have I take myself out of those meetings I take myself

out of all of that I don't have meetings with like our I don't even know what kind of a company like who we work with yeah you know you just don't it doesn't serve. I don't have meetings with our, I don't even know what kind of a company, who we work with. Yeah. You just don't, it doesn't serve you. I don't,

I let as little in as possible, and all I want to know is if we're cool. That's literally, I talk to, I have a director of operations that runs all my businesses, so I'm just like, we cool? Where do I need, where do I need to put some attention? And she's like, this, this, and this. I'm like, okay. Boom, boom just like, we cool? Wow. Where do I need, where do I need, where do I need to like put some attention?

And she's like this, this and this. I'm like, okay, boom, boom, boom, boom. See ya. And I always ask like, like I don't have like, like even like I don't have like apps on my phone. Like I don't have like even like my bank app. I don't have like anything on my phone. So then I don't have to worry about it.

And I just kind of dismiss everything. So then I can just focus on stuff. Like I just care about like motorcycles and that's it. But you've gotten to that point. You know what I mean? But I've gotten to, but it's still, money doesn't grow on trees and you still have to put things out.

So it's just about trying to find, I try to find a balance where my work doesn't, even though I'm putting out so much, it still doesn't consume me. That's the thing is I walk it, like I have it where it's just like, it still doesn't consume me. That's the thing is I walk in, like I have it where it's just like, tell me when to show up.

I show up. Hi, do my thing. I leave and I go back into like my zone. That's excellent. And it's funny because I'm like, I don't, yeah. Because if you're thinking about everything else, I'm the performer. I'm the thing. I'm like everyone else like brush my hair make me feel good and like but i don't even have anybody

brushing my hair you know like i don't have i don't have like there's no like management with me there's no anybody with me like it's just like i don't even have a manager so it's just like those things where it's just like i don't know know. Just try to be cool. I wake up every day and check TikTok to see how many new followers we have. And if it's not enough, I want to run my face through the bathroom mirror. Can I ask you a question? Go ahead. That sounds good. What's up, Nicole?

But I have to ask you one really good question, Josh. What's that, Nicole? What do you eat when no one's looking? Yeah, what do you eat? Yes, we forget the plum. Yeah, let's get back to fruit. We forget the plum every time. Do you guys like pretzels? Who cares? Yeah, let's get back to food. We forget the plums every time. Do you guys like pretzels?

Who cares? I'm so into pretzels. What the hell? The pretzels don't exist. Have you ever had oyster crackers? Pretzels are, oh, we boiled the breadstick in wine. Get the hell out of here.

Salt. Wait, no. Do you like salt or pepper? Wait, okay. One thing I'm fascinated with is the fact that one, the world does not need any more recipes. We have too many out there.

There's a lot of recipes. Hundreds of thousands, right? I'm down to five. Hundreds of thousands. Trillions. I'm the better numbers. Don't laugh at me. There's like 100,000 recipes. There's at least 18 recipes out there. But no, I mean, ditto for the fact that none of us need to eat any more good

food, right? We were on set the other day and we had a bunch of Hokkaido seer gin and A5 Wagyu. And we're like eating hour and a half old A5 Wagyu that I was making little, what's it called? Gunkan Maki? Yes, it was very good. And we're just there shoveling over a trash can shoveling the world's best sea urchin into our freaking

mouths. You know, like we don't need to experience any more good food. You've had it. We've had it. Where do you go from there? Do you continue to chase the food dragon like that? No. You just eat a potato? Yeah.

A microwave potato is what you just ate. Exactly. You accept the fact that you have had this beautiful meal and you've had these incredible ingredients in front of you, and then you go eat some Kraft mac and cheese. That's balance of life. Nicole, what did I eat for lunch today? Tell the people. Tell them, Nicole, and they deserve to know. Guys, Josh made the most

beautiful plate of what I've ever seen. He takes cold turkey deli, like deli turkey, puts it on a plate like carpaccio, hard fried, I mean, like, medium fries, two eggs, opens the eggs up, makes a yolk splatter all over, and then what did you put on it?

You know, that'd be sweet and sour famous Dave's pickles. Oh yeah, I got those pickles. French's yellow mustard. Yeah, yeah. It was a beautiful plate of food but it was also

really jarring. And how did I eat it, Nicole? How did I eat it? I wasn't there. I left. Okay, I ate it with my hands dripping over a trash can. Yeah.

And to me, that's 85 to 95% of meals. Yeah. If you're not eating over a garbage can or a sink, you're not really eating. Eating over a garbage can is my preferred method as of late.

I eat over the sink a lot at home. It's efficient. Yeah, just a sandwich or like anything. Just eat it over the sink. Everybody else is sitting at the table behind you like eating, and then you're just over the sink like a troll. I'm curious about, Maddie, your relationship to food right now because you're super into farming.

You've made a fair amount of videos on the farm. I mean like 20 years from now, are you going to be, like, just vegan, just eating butternut squash? Hopefully. It would be probably smart. Right? That's a good one. We're on the wrong side of history if we don't do that.

Yeah. I think the farm has definitely changed the way I think about things in a cliche way, you know? Like, you're just like, there's a lot of work that goes into that. And I think just working with Kenan at Blue Goose has just been, like, it's just been, like, a beautiful experience in, like, growing the vegetables and eating the vegetables. And just, like, all of a sudden we're just like, let's just steam everything.

You know? I just want to steam everything and just a little bit of salt. And, like, it's good. Like, a turnip is perfect being a turnip yeah you know eating a carrot that tastes like a carrot and you're like whoa is this how carrots actually taste is this how tomato there's no butter basting there's no yeah no just steam it yeah like it's just like let it stand you know not mayonnaise and like everything else and it's just just like, I think having like restraint has, it's really matured me and I'm getting ready

to like open up like a fancier, or not a fancier restaurant, just more of a restaurant I think that supports farmers, truly. And it's where there's like

no compromise. You know, we want to serve the best stuff. And I think that the vegetable, like doing Blue Goose, like in 20 years like i don't know in 20 years i'm gonna be freaking 60 you know i'm just like hopefully i'm like on an island in the sand just milking my bones you know and just like chilling or maybe not

maybe still doing what i'm doing but i don't know it definitely has like I think 29 year old Maddie versus 39 year old Maddie like 29 year old Maddie would definitely punch me out really yeah well because it's just any aging punk though right yeah like I was like at 29 I was like at the height of my insanity and like no internet yet and like no like I I was just like chef, chef guy, really drunk, lots of stuff and like really didn't care. Like I don't care now, but I care a little bit

because I got kids and stuff and I can see, you know, a little bit of a plan. But like 29-year-old Maddie, definitely like the 10-year challenge thing, I'd be like, you're a punk. I'd just be like, you're a poser. Get away from me.

But do you like current version of you better than best? I'm the best. You kick ass, man. You rule. I'm the best. You know, I really rewrote food history. I agree with that. I think there's definitely a before and after.

You have more Michelin stars than any chef. I got all of it. We tried to book Gordon Ramsay and he wouldn't come, so we got you. There you go. So I have his bio up we got his bio up how's Hell's Kitchen going dude he just yells

he yells hey imagine if I did went on it and I was just like hey you jerk you undercooked

the lamb hey you can still hear it going bye that's what lambs say yeah you take the lamb chop shove it on their ears

like earmuffs and you're like you what do they call it he calls everyone a donkey donut yeah

donkey donkey donut yeah not nice but he's perfect so we're good yeah we love him and like you know

he just started a new studio so they're giving out shows to like say like young plucky internet talent wow yeah maybe we'll get

a show I've want a show. I've said a lot of bad things about him, but other than that, I have nothing but, I still think Gordo's probably the best chef out of anybody, like actually. Yeah.

But, you know, who knows? Bobby probably invented Mexican food though. Well, at least Bobby's out there, you know. Yeah, you good for Bobby. Bobby's good. Yeah, he's good. The cheater. The cheater. Oh yeah. Losing You're good for Bobby. Bobby's good. Yeah, he's good. Oh, my God.

The cheater. The cheater. Oh, yeah. Losing your minds over here. All right. Bobby the cheater. All right, Nicole and Maddie, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse.

Nicole, they're frickin' wacky. It's time for a second we call... Opinions are like casseroles. That's our song. I like that. Yeah, right? I think it's really good. As a singer, I think it's really well done. As a singer?

All right, first up, we got at fake Jake Brown. I feel like I should tell you guys who Jake Brown is. He and I tried to throw the world's first Jägermeister and clam chowder festival. And we were all like ready to, we had it queued up. We had a mascot that had, it was a giant clam mascot, but he had two super soakers underneath sleeves in his arms that shot out, one shot out clam juice, one shot out Jäger. Nice. And Jäger was initially on board and it was to benefit the trans youth of Denver.

There you go. Yeah, yeah. And Jaeger was initially on board, and then when the press started rolling in and people said this sounds like an absolute vomit fest, which we were like, yeah, that's the joke. That's the point. We had a lot of ticket pre-sales, too. Then Jaeger pulled out. So that's who Jake Brown is.

Also a professional Magic the Gathering player. Hi, Jake. Wow. Thanks for putting in your opinion. Jam chunks straight out the jar, usually strawberry, pretty late at night. Maddie, how do you feel about just the jam chunks? No. What?

Not a jam chunks. I like the syrups. I push around the jam chunks. Not a jam chunky kind of guy. You're not a preserves man. I'm a preserves guy, but I'm not. I don't. You're not a chunk chaser.

I'm not a chunk chaser. Maybe that goes back to being a kid, but I would like... When I would make my strawberry and butter toasts, I would definitely push... I didn't want the chunks. I just wanted the syrups. I'm in it for the chunks. I like the chunks. Yeah, a little candied strawberry action there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like a chunky preserve. I wish I could get only the chunks. Smucker's only chunks. I just want the syrups. See, we're perfect for each other. We wish I could get only the chunks. Smuckers only chunks. Yeah. I just want the syrups. See, we're perfect for each other. We should just share jam jars more often. We should share jam jars. What are we doing?

We should get into a jam jarring service sub stack. Yeah. Ghost kitchen. Ghost kitchen. Ghost kitchen jam jars. Blockchain. Whatever. Except the ghost kitchen, Nicole, just makes jam jars, but then they sell those at grocery

stores. But it's just the ghosts. But it's a ghost kitchen. It's like a crunchier. you should be able to get it. Smooth or chunky, like peanut butter. You can just get jam or jelly or preserves from the store, everybody. If there's chunks, is it just jelly? Jelly is no chunks.

Right. Strained juice. Yes. With gelatins, with pectins. Jam is whole fruit what's the difference between jelly and jam okay

ghost of gold bloom says food that I threw out in a container but then a few hours later decided I actually wanted to finish eating this is what someone eats when no one's looking

how do you feel about that I back it 100% you know the amount of times that I've put something in the garbage and I'm more of like throw it like half an onion or like some roots of cilantro or something.

And then I'm like, yesterday I threw out some cilantro and I don't have any left. I'll go in there. I'll go in there, give it a rinse. It's just for me and my family. Who cares about them? Yeah. They deserve that. It's not like you're serving a paying stranger.

Yeah. Like I think I've definitely dived, definitely dumpster dived. And I've dumpster dived. So it's just like, you know, I've definitely eaten food out of dumpsters. So, you know, I'm all for it. I would love to do a dumpster diving episode. Yeah. That would be good.

I would love to just. Donut shops, man. You guys got donut shops. Donut shops. I just want to go dumpster diving with you guys. Is that weird? I want to jump in to dumpster with you. Thanks.

Maggie, can you come? Fine. You wouldn't judge me so much when I eat out of the trash at work, though. I don't. You eat over it, and then you get into it. Tell them what I do. Tell them what I do. Okay, so if I throw food away that she thinks I'm going to pick out of the trash later,

she puts cleaning solution on it, or she spits on it. But sometimes the spit doesn't deter me. Not in a weird way. That's like Drake and the hot sauce. You know? So she'll hit it with the 409, and then there's a bittering. But sometimes the spit doesn't deter me. Not in like a weird way. That's like Drake and the hot sauce. Yeah. So she'll hit it with the 409 and then there's a bittering agent in the 409, Nicole. So it makes a taste back. I wouldn't

care if it was just a little bit of bleach. That's fine. You can handle that. That's like going in the jacuzzi every once in a while. Lick it up. Alright, we got AllieB918. When I had pet rats, I'd eat their treats. They're called honey yogurt drops. TBH could have been candy, but my sister ridiculed me for eating

rat treats when I tried to defend it. She went slack, John, so I threw a treat in. She refused to chew. Her loss. Maddie, I feel like force feeding your sister rat treats. I don't know. I think that's a no-go for me. That's a no-go zone. And, you know, I'm not like a... You know, I just feel there's a lot of options out there.

It's like those people on the TV shows that like just eat like clay. Yeah, like people that are, I think that's just like a different demographic. That I'm like, okay, like that's, I'm not mad at you. Sure. I just not for me. Eat your clay. That's a not for me situation. Yeah.

Same. Yeah? Same. Okay, okay, okay. I think we're all the same. Everyone's like, no. I'll play devil's advocate here. I'll play devil's advocate here. Go for it. I feel Okay, okay, okay. I think we're all the same. Everyone like, nah. I'll play devil's advocate here. I'll play devil's advocate here.

Go for it. I feel like you would try it. There's no such thing as like dog food or rat treats, right? There's no such thing. It's all just ingredients that are cobbled together. I like that. You're just a sucker for the branding? You think it just says for rats?

It means it's only for rats? No, no, no. If you see the ingredients and it's just like glucose and yogurt and honey, whatever, that's fair game for you. Just branding. It's just branding at that point. In fact, you're overpaying because they're rat treats. Because they're smaller. Because I could house a whole bag of rat treats

like they're Raisinets. At this point, you're just buying overpriced Raisinets. But that said, you should still be able to eat them. He's so smart. Even if there's additional supplements for rats. Now I'm back in. Even if there's additional rat supplements, it's probably good to eat them. She's so smart. Even if there's additional supplements for rats. See, now I'm back in. Now I'm back in. Even if there's additional rat supplements, it's probably good for you too. It's really just cereal.

You guys, I don't want to go dumpster diving with you guys anymore. Stop being ignorant. Shango Supra says, when I'm feeling down, I eat a full 20-ounce tray of store-bought mac and cheese baked in the oven and usually topped with French's fried onions. It has to be French's and I have to be alone gotta be alone wow this is like a like sadness casserole this is a sadness casserole yeah i'm sad i eat alone a lot traveling yeah and uh you know i try not to make it as sad as possible lean in lean in brother i don't like to lean in i don't like to lean in i did i used to have a phobia of eating by myself.

So one time after I went to a doctor's appointment, I went to the farmer's market and I sat at a big table by myself eating Brazilian barbecue and I finally got over my fear. Claim your space. And I'm so happy I did that. You are. Because now I can eat alone. Women spread all over that farmer's market, Nicole. So now I can eat alone without any sort of fear or anxiety. I face my problems head on.

There you go. You guys can learn something. That's what we got to do. I cut the mac and cheese out of this equation and just eat the French's fried onions from a jar. I'm not going to lie.

I still got them left over from Thanksgiving. And I just, you know, every time I'm feeling sad, I'll just go grab a pinch of the MSG crispy fried onions. What is it? Just like fried onions in a jar?

It's like fake fried onions. Okay. You know, like the Frizzle Chalets that you make? Yeah, yeah. It's like that, but like the mass market version of. You know? And they're delicious.

They're just a delight. I love that. We got Atomic Care Bear. Condiment rice. An old college staple. Consists of rice mixed with whatever condiments you have in your dorm room. Favorite combo is soy sauce, Louisiana hot sauce, butter, and a sprinkle of cheese. Salty, tangy butter. You'll keep you fed till next payday. Nothing wrong with that.

I feel like that's the thing. I used to go and buy in college, in my first year when I lived in a dorm, I had a little bar fridge in my room and I used to go buy 30 Taco Bell soft taco supremes and just put it in my thing and then I'd just take two out

and I'd little snack them and put them in the microwave. Whatever you got to do, the rice with a little sprinkle of this cheese with the soy sauce, condiments. I think it's fine, you know, if you got some barbecue sauce. Rice is great. I used to have a roommate that would just eat like he would cover. He would do like steamed rice and then just cover it in ketchup and just like jam. A lot of people do that.

It's a Filipino thing. A lot of people do that. Is it Filipino? No. No, no, no, no. He was Caucasian. Caucasian? A lot of people do that. Is it Filipino? No. No, no, no. No, he's Caucasian. Caucasian. A lot of people do that, like just put condiments on rice.

I feel like that's a thing that people do. I have no issue with it. I'm into it. I used to get 20. They sold McDonald's hamburgers for 29 cents every Sunday, and my dad, it was limit 10, so my dad would go in with $3, and he'd order 10. He'd send me in for me to order 10 and send my brother in so he'd end up with just a sack of 30 cheeseburgers. And then we'd just keep them in the freezer and then

yeah, snacks whenever you wanted. But it got to the point where like every 45 minutes I was eating McDonald's hamburger. Yeah. Because you know, they're just there and you're alone. And so yeah, I feel that and I love that. So there's no shame in my game. I love that. Nerd's Pitch says a spoonful of sweetened condensed milk. What? Just a spoonful. So this is what they eat when no one's, yeah. I love that. Nerd's pitch says a spoonful of sweetened condensed milk.

What? Just a spoonful. So this is what they eat when no one's- Just when you're bumming? Just slam some sugar milk? A spoonful of sweetened condensed milk. Yeah. Yeah, Frank.

Yeah. Bring it. Bring it. Yeah. I think, I don't know. I'm just thinking of if you were to eat a sticky toffee pudding, you're eating pretty much a Dolce de Leche, a huge spoonful, condensed milk. I think I could do it.

I do this with Nutella. Yeah. I don't care. No. There's no caring. Yeah. Nutella's great. It all makes sense.

Just some salt. That sounds like something I would do. My favorite thing isn't the spoonful, though. It's when you take the lid off of the condensed milk and then you lick the lid. That's dangerous, though. Cut it a little bit. You're a bad boy, huh? Yeah, dude.

You're a bad boy. You're not in danger. It kind of gets in your bloodstream a little bit faster. You get revved up? Yeah. Stop it. I ain't afraid. Stop it. We got at Shellboob, I microwave mini cocktail frankfurters until they split then smother them in tomato sauce.

I don't know if it's like tomato sauce or if it's tomato sauce. You know what I mean? Tomato sauce? Those are two different things. I don't like it. You know? I don't like if it's like tomato sauce or if it's tomato sauce. You know what I mean? Tomato sauce? Those are two different things. I don't like it. You know? I don't like it either way. I'm down for a microwave dog, but the tomato sauce, I like dogs, only dogs. You know, like ketchup or mustard.

I don't care either. Like Chicago can chill out. And then like, you know, I love a microwave. What I do is I take the hot dogs and put a little bowl of just a little bit of water and then just put that in the microwave and they come out perfect every time. Steaming. Yeah. But the tomato, you don't want to put cover on the tomato.

Well, if they're Australian, if this is tomato sauce, then that's ketchup for them. Yeah. So that's what I'm thinking because agreed with the Maraná, that don't work. No. No mariners. I just don't like cocktail weenies. I was never raised in a cocktail weenie house. They taste different.

So every time I see them, I'm just like, just give me a regular hot dog. You know what I mean? It's no good for anybody. It doesn't do it for me. Okay. How do I say this name, Josh? Her 2B is Liz. Her 2B is Liz says, my deep culinary shame is a blob of straight up mayonnaise on top

of a hot casserole to quote unquote cool it down because I don't have my life together enough to have sour cream on hand. I'm sorry. Hell yes. Let's go. I feel. Sorry. That's fine. You're okay.

If you don't have your life together enough to get sour cream on deck on the fridge door, then you're okay. It's okay. You got the Hellmann's. You got a little spruce goose on the mayo. You're fine. You're making a casserole. You got your life together enough to make a casserole. That's okay. You got the Hellmann's. You got a little spruce goose on the mayo. You're fine. You're making a casserole. You got your life together enough to make a casserole.

That's true. So then, like, you know, cup's half full. I feel that. What an optimistic man you are. There you go. And, you know, like, most food is, like, really disgusting in a way. Like, most food is good. Maddie said that earlier.

I agree with that, right? Quote of the day, most food good. No, no, because we're, like, evolutionarily designed to just want to put things in our mouths and like turn into energy you know so like most things you put inside you are going to be great i would like to think but also it's all really gross because you turn it into poop you know and you're eating with your hands slopping over but that doesn't have to do with what you're ingesting that's just a natural part of your body yeah these are all arbitrary rules we made up like don't put mayonnaise on casseroles that's a dumb arbitrary rule meant to control us yeah don't let them control you eat the rat food and put mayonnaise wherever you want thank you it's

between you and god i'm in a chaos sandwich right now and i need help don't you dare leave that booth don't you dare leave that zone everyone is't you dare leave that zone. Everyone is safe. The chaos sandwich keeps you free. Oh my gosh. You know, there's like that three foot square in America where there's no laws. Oh, Brick City? Brick City? Brick County? No.

Yeah. In California. Yeah, yeah. Slab City. Slab City. Slab City. That's what it is. Brick County.

This is that, but for food. No rules. No rules. Just love. Just love. Count on us. All right. Yeah. At the names use. What? I can't. Just love. God, I want to go to the Outback. All right. Yeah, at the names, use, what, I can't.

Pillsbury vanilla marshmallow frosting. I chase each spoon with a gherkin. Chase the spoon. See? That's a bit foolish. That's just, that's just nasty. Yeah, yeah. You got to jot it down.

Yeah, that makes my stomach churn. I don't think you need to do that. There's so many good things that you could do, and it's just like that is just not the thing. And I understand sweet and salty and sweet and vinegary, but I'm just like I think that's just a bit much. I think so too. Contrasting textures in your mouth. Because the frosting is so fatty, right? All those hydrolyzed oils in there.

And then you're getting the pickle juice. It's going to start wicking off that fat. Welcome to the pond. Because it's going to coat your tongue in a sort of like fatty membrane. But you know what they're doing? This is like they're just washing away the fat with the gherkin. It's like a sorbetto in between the courses. It's like a pickleback.

I get it. I understand it. I don't like it because I feel like I need a Tums. How many combos do you think they tried before they settled on this one being the best though? Six. It's got to be one and done. You think they were like. Six.

No, no. They did this like. They did this in the front. They were like, eh? Yeah. I think what they were doing. Yeah doing was literally a charcuterie board where they were just picking out random things in their fridge. Kimchi and cream cheese frosting?

Durkin and vanilla? Oh, hey now. Game Girl 9292 says, the fat that is left in the bottom of a tray when I've made pork chops, I'm aware of how gross that is, but I still do it. What? Are know, like, are they talking about the albumin or the fat?

The albumin? I think it's the fat. You know what I mean? Like the white stuff that leaks out? Yeah. Yeah. I think they're talking about eating that. No, no, no. They're saying the fat. Just the fat that drips? Yeah. Have you guys ever, like, gotten a piece of bread and, like, done that before? Yeah. You dip up everything. You dip everything. Yeah, like, in, like, the dark. That's the good stuff.

Yeah. Yeah, the fond. The fond. Yeah, yeah, sexy fond sandwich. Sexy fond sandwich. Dip it everything. Yeah, like in the dark. That's the good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, the fond. The fond. Yeah, yeah, sexy fond sandwich. Sexy fond sandwich. Dip it up. Scrape it up. Like a rat. I'm the one that eats the rat treats.

I eat the rat treats. You get the rat treats. I'm the one that eats it. Yeah, you're fine. All right, hold up, hold up. We got one more. We got one more. We got King and AK.

Honestly, when I'm too lazy to make a sandwich, I just get out all the components of the sandwich and simultaneously shove them all in my mouth. Lettuce, tomato, bread, protein, ketchup, you name it, and then chew my deconstructed art piece. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I do that one. You confuse Maddie.

You confuse me. It's a salad. It's a salad. It's a mouth sandwich. It's a mouth sandwich. Or a salad. It's a salad. It's a mouth sandwich. It's a mouth sandwich. Or a salad. It's like you put the bread, like you suck on the bread, and then you put all the condiments in it.

Yeah, you kind of put it on your tongue. Yeah. And you build it. It's a buffet. This is ridiculous. There's a world in which if you eat, say, like a chicken Caesar salad with croutons, right? You're right.

There's a point at which if you eat the perfect bite and tumble it around enough, it's like if you put a monkey at a typewriter, it'll eventually write out the works of Shakespeare. Yes. There's a point at which it becomes a mouth sandwich,

the Caesar salad. A crouton will end up on bottom and top at some point as you're mushing it around. And then the chicken with the lettuce in between. So what are we,

what the hell are we talking about? I don't know. I think I blacked out for the last hour and a half. I don't know, but I'm sweating and it's great. We're always sweating. A little sweaty. Some underboob sweat going on. All right. And on

that note, thank you so much for listening to a hot dog is a sandwich. You want to hear more from us here in the mythical kitchen. We got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at mythical chef or and handy Zada with the hashtag opinion casserole for more mythical kitchen. Check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week and of course if you want to share pictures of your dishes hit us up on instagram at mythical kitchen maddie thanks so much for joining us thanks for having me do you want to like plug anything tell people like buy your pot your pan um i hate plugging stuff actually but you know you can google me you can use the old google

search engine and you can put maddie matheson i got uh matheson cookware you can Google me. You can use the old Google search engine and you can put in Maddie Matheson. I got Matheson Cookware you can check out at MathesonCookware.com, I think. I got merch stuff. I don't know. I got stuff. You can buy books. I've already sold a lot of them,

so I don't really care. Thanks. Buy them. Yeah, Google Maddie Matheson. No, you can Google me. Click on the shopping tab and then just start clicking around. Kids, if you're listening,

get your parents' credit cards. Yeah, yeah. Buy everything. See you all next time.