A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Nachos Are A Salad

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

There's chicken salad, egg salad, and jello salad.... so are nachos just a tortilla salad? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. You got chicken salad, egg salad, and jello salad. So what's stopping me from calling nachos a tortilla chip salad? I am. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Anaidi. And Nicole, today we're talking about radical salad anarchism. Today, where do you fall on the radical salad anarchist spectrum?

Real question, when do we not talk about that? What did you say? Radical salad anarchy. Radical salad anarchy. I fell into radical salad anarchy tiktok and now we're here and i support a lot of upsetting political causes i think salad tiktok is incredible side note there actually is there's like this crazy ass green goddess salad started by melissa's baked by melissa she has changed the game with salad she eats salads with tortilla

chips did you know that oh i've seen that yeah it's like a cabbage kind of there's like a blended cucumber dressing yes yes that blends vegetables in it correct and then she puts that onto a tortilla chip which makes it still a salad even though it's not a tortilla chip yeah yeah so nachos are a salad no no no no why are nachos tell me why nachos are not a salad nicole Okay. Give me one good reason, I swear. One good reason and I will capitulate. Nachos are not a salad because the ratio of crunchy bits

of carbohydrates to the lettuce is not even on the spectrum of salad. So you're saying that a salad has to have

a certain proportion of vegetables to accoutrement. It would be nice. It would be nice. It would be nice. I love croutons in my salad. I used to just, you know, fun fact, before my mom used to not buy chips in the house ever.

So croutons were like my chips. Yeah, no, that was the same here. We never had candy in the house. So I would just take teaspoons of unsweetened cocoa powder and then pour sugar in my mouth and I let my saliva turn it into a paste yeah yeah yeah we both had some weird food habits i called it mouth brownies no but side note no nachos are not a salad nachos are their own dish they're a tortilla chip dish are chile quiles a salad uh no what's the difference okay but why wait no hold on i i came into this with my own kind of script in my head where i was like i had a four-point process where

i was going to flip you into believing nachos are a salad but now you throw me with the chilaquiles question oh yeah you didn't expect that did you son for anybody who doesn't know what chilaquiles are one they are the greatest uh breakfast brunch especially hungover dish in the history of the world they are fried tortilla chips that are sauced in either red or green salsa typically. Sometimes you can top them with a fried egg. Really fantastic. But nachos, I was prepared to say, of course, they're a salad. But then chilaquiles, you're saucing it.

It's hot. Because nachos can have a fair amount of cold ingredients. You ever had a hot salad? I'm trying to think. Are there hot salads? Because I mentioned radical salad anarchy because, Nicole, the term salad, if you really go into the etymology of it, right, same root as salami, right? Salad and salami come from the same— Salad and salami literally both come from the same—

No way. —room and root of just salad meaning salt. And salad was just like a little salted thing. And so it was literally anything like— Salad team? Salad team. No, salad is literally in what's it? Salad Olivier. Is in, I mean, both Persian cuisine and Russian cuisine. So like the word salad has literally popped

up in damn near every single culture. You go to a Vietnamese restaurant and they say do you want salad with your meal? And the salad is typically just green leaf lettuce. And so, you know, in Vietnamese restaurants, salad just means lettuce. But then you have pasta salad, you know, macaroni salad in Hawaii. You're right. And so the term salad pops up so much and it literally just is, you know, this ancient Roman dish of chopped meat and herbs and vegetables that's dressed with salt because that was like the flavoring at the time. Just

salt. Yeah. Probably some garum, probably some ancient fermented tuna blood sauce going in there. I do love some garum. And so for me, I think you get like any mishmash of ingredients that are chopped together and just kind of tossed and incorporated in a way. I think that is a salad. Okay, but if you say it's tossed in a way, when have you ever seen a tossed nacho? Nachos are always topped. Okay, and while they can be topped and layered no but

i can't i can't my official statement that salads are tossed i misspoke she is quoting me out of context it's recorded i yield my time it's literally recorded i will not give my time i don't think salads need to be tossed. When I say tossed, I mean that metaphorically, Nicole. Is this turning into a sexy podcast? No, okay. What Nicole's referring to is the act of tossing a salad, which the scientific term is analingus. Is it? I thought it was the otherlingus.

No, no, no. Wait, what did you think? I thought it was the other linguist. No, no, no. That's, wait. Oh, what did you think? I thought it was. Tossing a salad in there. The other linguist. You thought it was the cunning linguist that is, was tossing. I don't believe so. If anyone can look at it. I'm crying.

Maggie, I don't think legally we're allowed to ask you to look this up if you don't feel comfortable. If you Google it, so help me God. Listen, this is a podcast about salad and the verbs that go with them. It was going to come up. What did you think was going to happen? Oh, it's the butt. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. So it is. Anyway, I don't believe that all salads have to be tossed. I think that's, you know, a deep conversation and it, you know, just comes down to like whatever people are comfortable with, whether they think nachos are salad. Yeah. I mean, no, I just, there's nothing about a nacho that resembles a salad.

Speaking of tossing one salad, Guy Fieri. Guy Fieri has trash can nachos, Nicole. Uh-huh, where they belong. Now, those are. That's where they belong. You want me to say that louder? Where they belong. I think you can reasonably consider Guy Fieri's trash can nachos to be a salad.

In what universe? In what universe are you in? There are plenty of vegetables on the salad. Like, okay, what do you think is endemic to salad hood? What does a salad have to have? Let's break it down to its component parts. Uh, chopped cold vegetable. Okay, so if they're whole, it's not a salad.

You get a, you know, the original Caesar salad, then, Nicole, isn't a salad. Next. You're pissing me off. I mean, no, it is. Okay, it either needs to be. That's called a golden shower. Shut up. It either needs to be a chopped green thing that is a vegetable or it can be whole. What about radicchio?

Radicchio is fine. Radicchio. Oh, I love a good radicchio. That's what I'm saying. A vegetable. A vegetable. A vegetable. Vegetable.

But then, I mean, which definition of vegetable are we going with? The one that we agree. We're talking about cucumbers, a fruit. Okay. Does that have to be a fruit salad? Is a fruit that we agree. We're talking about cucumbers as fruit. Okay. Does that have to be a fruit salad? Is a fruit salad not a salad? A fruit salad is a salad. Okay.

Yeah. But there's no vegetable in it. But you're saying the fruit modifies that. Uh-huh. So then a fruit salad is still a salad under the general popular salad umbrella. Yeah. But you don't think it's a salad because it's not a vegetable. Can you get your story straight?

Guys, I just blacked out. What did he say? I literally just blacked out. i'm in a sugar coma right now i'm sure yeah nicole's been eating these little like italian rainbow cookie but it's not a cookie it's like a snack cake inspired by the cookie it's just saturated in corn syrup and it is a delight it's almond extract and corn syrup it's fantastic nicole i say all these things not not to try and gaslight you or rile you up. Are you sure?

I mean, I don't know. You just said you were going to do, you were just going to say you were going to give me a four-point process and flip me. Well, yeah, that's not gaslighting. That's just like being persuasive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a gentle nudge, gentle nudge. No, but I say that because I think the word salad has roughly like no meaning, right?

And I think because it means so many things to so many different cultures, even look at like the Midwestern canon of salads. Like Jell-O salads, like Abroja salads. Yeah, I mean, that's just weird though. That's just them being weirdos. But we love our Midwest audience. I love you guys, but it's a little weird. Shout out to those in Duluth, Minnesota. Oh my God, I just watched Fargo the other day.

What's his name? Mike Yanagida? Oh, I don't know. I've never seen Fargo. You I just watched Fargo the other day. What's his name? Mike Yanagida? Oh, I don't know. I've never seen Fargo. You've never seen Fargo? Me and Jules have been meaning to watch Fargo for three years. We've only known each other for two. We've both independently been meaning to watch it.

It is such a good movie. I can rewatch that any day of the week. But the Midwestern term salad is still meaningful in a way, right? If someone says jello salad versus a bowl of jello, you understand the difference in a sense, intuitively, you know, it's going to be jello and there's other things in it. Right. Okay. So if somebody said like a tortilla chip salad, what would you think that means? That means nachos. That means nachos, right? That's what I'm saying. It's a salad. Okay. But if, if you say, Hey, like if you're at a restaurant and someone goes, Hey, you want a salad? And you go, yeah, yeah i do and then they put a

plate of nachos in front of you you're gonna be like i didn't order a salad and then like this is a tortilla chip salad there are some times nicole when the universe provides for you in a way that is better than you could provide for you and i will tell you nicole i will give me one example nothing like real in life but in terms of the nacho salad dichotomy here um california pizza kitchen big fans both of us big fans i love cbk so much and this whole debate is literally inspired by the barbecue chicken salad that i received during a delivery work lunch one day because so the barbecue chicken salad at california pizza kitchen one of the best salads in the entire sit-down restaurant great

salad it's what chopped romaine iceberg black, iceberg, black beans, corn, cheese. Tomatoes. Jicama. Jicama. Oh, the jicama on there. A wedge of lime, a thing of ranch, and a thing of barbecue sauce. A thing and a thing. Two things.

Two things. And then it is topped, Nicole, with tortilla strips. A lot. But one day, I got old. They were heavy. Nicole, they went heavy on the tortilla strips on the top. And if I were to have flipped that and tortilla strips to the bed, Nicole, that would have been identical to a

plate of nachos. Do you really think that? I do. Or are you just saying that just to be like a provocative? I do. No, no. Look, I do think of myself as a provocateur, a deliberate iconoclast. But no, that is literally the inspiration of why I wanted to talk about this. And sure, did I want to order a salad for lunch? Yeah. But I mean, it was mostly out of a sense of some sort of obligation. We're always in the kitchen. We're eating Flamin' Hot Cheeto, chili dogs and all that. It's like, oh, a nice salad.

But they knew that I actually wanted nachos. And they gave me a plate of nachos that I could eat with a fork and cover a ranch. Did you ask for extra tortilla strips? No. I'm telling you, the universe provides a manifest to this. Do you have the receipt, sir? What? Oh, you're going extra tortilla strips? No. I'm telling you, the universe provides a manifesto. Do you have the receipt, sir? What? Oh, you're going to call me on the – we actually probably could find that receipt.

Yes. Well, we've ordered it so many times. Yeah, that's true. It's hard to pinpoint whenever you had the too many tortilla strips. I don't – I think you're lying. What do you think I'm lying about? What do I stand to gain? There is no way a CPK employee put as much tortilla strips as you are saying on a salad.

There's no way he, she, or they took a large handful or two or three or four and put that on top of your salad. Believe it, sister. Because it happened. You will not deny my lived experience. Your lived experience is an anomaly. And I shall not base a whole entire podcast on your specific experience, because your experience isn't a shit. I've had that salad like 80 times.

80! I eat that salad all the time. Do you think I've ever been like, let me flip this over, and it's like a nutshell? Never in my damn life. But you know what's really good there? What's that? What's that, Nicole?

The tostada pizza. Hasn't been on their permanent menu in over damn life. But you know what's really good there? What's that? What's that, Nicole? The tostada pizza. Hasn't been on their permanent menu in over three years. It was so good. It was so good. We miss the tostada pizza. Tell them about it.

CPK, please bring back the tostada pizza. It'd mean the world to me. Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Pizza Kitchen. California and California Pizza Kitchen. One word. Those are their names.

Bring back the tostada pizza. It was like pizza dough. It was refried beans. As the sauce. Refried beans were the sauce. Cheese. I think they might have had beef on there. I don't know.

And then little pieces of, little crunchy bits of lettuce and some tortilla strips on there as well. That is a pizza nacho salad. And I like that. But which one? Okay, so if you're saying it's a pizza nacho salad. It's all three.

What you're saying is that it is a salad. The pizza and the nacho are acting as the modifiers. Yes, but I've... So like nacho salad pizza is different from pizza nacho salad. Okay, but have you ever had Abbott's pizza salad? Yes. Okay, now what's... That's just literally a pizza that they put like Caesar salad on top of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they slice it. But what if I put like tortilla strips underneath it? That would be a nacho salad pizza top of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they slice it. But what if I put like tortilla strips underneath it? That would be a nacho salad pizza, of course. Nacho pizza salad. No, that would be a nacho salad pizza because the pizza is the last base. The pizza salad. The pizza is dictating how you eat it, right?

You know, which I guess if you look at nachos, right? Because I still believe nachos are a salad, but they're obviously different subsets of salad, right? Josh, if I go to Taco Bell and I say, hey, do you guys are a salad, but there are obviously different subsets of salad, right? Josh, if I go to Taco Bell, and I say, hey, do you guys have a salad? And then they're like, yes, we have the nachos Belgrante. Oh, yeah, that's right, because... What's it called to do?

No, because if you go to Taco Bell, and then you get their actual salad on the menu, it's a, what is it? It is a giant fried tortilla chip with beef and beans and cheese on it, Nicole. That's their taco salad. So, do you mean to tell me that it's a giant plate of nachos? So is a tostada salad nachos? Of course.

How is that possible? How can I even have a conversation with you if you don't believe that the tostada bowl salad is a plate of nachos? Nicole, you throw it against the wall? That's what I'm saying. There has to be intent. You can't just do it just to do it. You can do it.

I mean, this is the... I think we should just take a breath. Take a step back. If you were to get a taco salad that often comes in the tostada bowl, which as we know was all, was invented at the Casa de Fritos by the Morales family, not Elmer

Doolin, BT dubs, in case anybody was thinking that. No. It was the ta-cup, right? Ta-cup. The ta-cup. He made his own little mold that's actually in the Smithsonian. He mashed the little Fritos dough in there and fried it.

That grew into the large fried tostada taco salad that we know and love today. I have a tough time arguing that that is not a form of nacho. Right? What's the difference? What is a sope? What is sopes? Well, sopes aren't crispy. I think crispiness is essential to nacho-hood. I mean, that's not true because a sope is, what if I left it in the fry a little bit longer? Then I don't know if you'd be rocking with a sope at that point, right? Okay. Then what about, what's a tostada? What is a tostada that you get at a Mexican restaurant? Is that nachos?

That is both nachos and a salad. And a pizza? And a pizza. No way, dude. You need to, no. See, you are just trying to appease everyone right now, and you need to only appease yourself. What do you think that says about me, like, on the larger scale?

You're trying to, what's it called? Shake babies and kiss hands? No, you, yeah. Which one do you shake? Kiss hands and shake babies. I thought you weren't supposed,

no, you are supposed to shake babies. Yes. You're not supposed to shake a Manhattan. You stir a Manhattan, you shake babies. And then you, and then the Vesper is two parts.

It's a split base. Yeah. It's a split base with a lemon twist. What the hell are we talking about? Oh, no, I mean, honestly,

I mean, if, again again i'm just going by the restaurant method yeah there is nachos are not in the salad menu they're not and salads are not in the uh nacho but you're when you say salads are not in the nacho menu right you're essentializing what a salad is right so uh if you if they had like salads listed at a restaurant, say a diner, you got your Cobb salad, you got your- Ranch salad. Yeah, your chef's salad. Chef's salad, yeah.

The Caesar. Yeah. Like chicken salad, potato salad, jello salad. You're talking about the deli salads. You're talking about the deli salads. Yeah, but do you think that deli salads are- If you mix, say, I grew up eating ham salad, Nicole. Ew, what the hell is that?

This is a delicacy from my people. Is it like deviled ham? It is exactly deviled ham, which is ham blended with mayonnaise and you spread it on a cracker. Oh my God. And that is, oh yeah, Maggie's pulling up pictures of ham salad. It looks like dog vomit. If we're being pinkish, dog vomit. Like your dog got into like a lingonberry bush and vomited up some lingonberry puke.

And that's ham salad. And yeah, you're in Sweden with this dog. Yeah, I guess. By the way. I guess so. But I grew up eating that. And it's at its base, it's ham and mayonnaise. I'm sure it's good.

At what point, like why do you have more of a visceral reaction saying nachos aren't a salad as opposed to ham salad? Ham salad is not a salad. So you, okay, would you would call up my nana yeah you call auntie barb yeah i don't care hey what oh my god get get on the phone maggie i will throw hands with auntie barb she's so little and cute yeah okay then i'll just pet her bookstore growing up i'll just send her exactly um no i mean the word i mean i have a definition of a salad. And it is what it is.

And that's who I am. And I'm sticking to my guns. What is tabbouleh? Is tabbouleh a salad? I don't know. It's bulgur. It's a bulgur. No, tabbouleh salad is not a thing.

Tabbouleh is tabbouleh. It's its own dish. It's a bulgur. No, tabbouleh salad is not a thing. Tabbouleh is tabbouleh. It's its own dish. Shirazi salad is a salad. What about all the salatim at, say, an Israeli restaurant? They're not salads. They're salatim. They're salatim. Yeah.

Oh, interesting. Banchan is banchan. It's not salads. So are you saying that you are all in favor of culturally fragmenting the meaning of salad based on where you are? Super into it. You have to like geofence it. I don't believe in globalization of salads.

You believe in just strict salad segregationism and I'm coming in here as a radical salad anarchist? Exactly. How do we work together? We don't. These differences in political opinions. After this podcast, I'm going home and I'm never seeing you again. It's over after this. No.

I mean, we just have to compromise, Josh. We need to find an even ground to sit on, you and I. We need to talk. We need to find our footing. I am willing to denounce nachos as a salad. Only if. Only if you are willing to eat at least a quart of, what's it called? It's like pistachio.

Ambrosia? Yeah. No, no, no. It's not ambrosia. There's a worse one. There's snicker salad. Pretzel salad? I got to look it up.

Is it the one with shredded carrots? No, but I grew up eating that one too. Watergate salad, Nicole. You got to eat a quart of Watergate salad. It is, where are we going? Isn't Watergate salad good? Pistachio pudding, canned pineapple, whipped topping, crispy cans, mayonnaise and marshmallows.

Sounds absolutely delicious. Yeah, right? Why do people crap on the Midwest for their salads? I don't know. I just think they need a general rebranding of name. I think if they called it a pudding, I think it would have been killer. No, but the British have already monopolized the idea that pudding means nothing. Yeah, and I think

America should copy that well we kind of did that with salad already no this is not the proper salad is not the proper word for these things it's not i'm sorry midwestern people that i love so much i just don't think that's the proper verbiage i don't like it i don't like it and i want to change it do you think you should just call it pudding and we should just like adopt the british model yeah but i mean so many of the things that we water game pudding it's like um you know pretzel pudding we've taken like terms from different like cultures that had influence in our in our food ways and then we've kind of like flipped them like macaron to macaroon right like for us like growing up in america did you eat the kosher for passover

manischewitz of course i did yeah those are macaroons but the french have macaron yeah but it literally you know was the same exact preparation and the same exact food until, I think it was actually Martha Washington made like- Shut up. Okay, so we've taken a lot of French words etymologically. Think, you know, ballon, right? It means balloon in French. And we just added an O to it.

We're like, it's American now. You had ballons, we got balloons. Okay. We did the same thing with macaron and macaroon. You're kidding me. I'm dead serious. And then someone, when coconuts, we started annexing tropical territories and all that,

and coconuts started getting imported. Companies that were farming them, they would put out recipes, and one of them was for coconut macaroons. And then that became the dominant thing. How interesting. Yeah, and so we've taken various things and flipped them culturally in the American lens. I think we did that with pudding, right?

Let's do it. And we were just like, no, no, no. Pudding doesn't mean the random dessert and all that. But we're going to take the same thing you had with that and we're going to put it in salads. That salad is the messed up things that we have. I know. But I think you and I just need to like push to call these foods puddings now. Yeah.

Puddings. That's our official stance. Things got a little heated earlier earlier i'm sorry if i lost my head it's okay sometimes you and i just have these moments but it's nice to always come back to square one and realize what this whole podcast is about crapping all over the midwest no that's a joke listen st louis i owe you an apology i'm really sick of all the one stars on apple podcasts at least give him like three yeah why are you gonna go with the one stars on Apple Podcasts. At least give them like three. Yeah. Why are you going to go with the one?

I'd love to come and stand under the arch or whatever you got down there or see the Rams play. Oops, they went to LA. Oh, sorry. But like the gooey butter cake, you know. Oh, my God. Is St. Louis in Missouri? St. Louis. Yeah, St. Louis is in Missouri.

But there's another St. Louis in like Tennessee or something. Who goes to St. Louis? Who goes to St. Louis? I'm a Kansas. I was raised in kansas city you were raised in missouri yeah for like from zero to four i was born in maryland then at three months i went to kansas city missouri and lived there till i was four did one year of preschool in casey mo and then came to california kansas city missouri and that's yeah yeah and that's

western missouri and st louis is eastern missouri and we don't like them. Oh, okay. I'm kidding. I really don't. I learned so much about you in this podcast yet again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I learned that your views on salad are problematic and I don't like you for it. I am your problematic face, Nicole. Josh, have you ever been to a Mexican restaurant?

Have I ever been to a Mexican restaurant? You mean like the taco? But no, Nicole. Yes, I've been to several Mexican restaurants. How would you imagine? Just imagine this. You are at a Mexican restaurant and you say, one, nachos, please. And then they bring you a plate of nachos and you say, hey, would you consider nachos a salad, sir?

How could you imagine how they would feel? Oh, so you're talking about like who has the rights to create categories yeah that's interesting like do you think the chef back there's like hey one salad no no not at all but i i see what you're saying um nachos are actually really interesting dish that a lot of people you know say they're an american invention but they were invented in uh i believe piedras negrasgras in Coahuila by a chef named Ignacio. Nacho.

Nacho is literally the nickname for Ignacio. Do you mean to tell me Nacho Libre's first name is Ignacio? Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah, that's the whole thing. That's like Guillermo's nickname. Memo is the nickname for Guillermo. Yeah, and there's a lot of stuff. I was talking to a Spanish friend, and there's a lot of stuff like Pepa is the nickname for Francisco, and he's nickname, Memo is the nickname for Guillermo. Yeah, and there's a lot of stuff. I was talking to a Spanish friend, and there's a lot of stuff like,

like Pepa is the nickname for Francisco. And he's like, well, you see, in the 1400s, there was, and I was like, dang, y'all's history is crazy. But no, the origin story of nachos is like the origin story of pretty much any new food, right? Same to the Caesar salad of like a group of hungry, important people walked in, and they went to the chef, except nacho was actually the maitre d'.

And in this legend, the chef wasn't there. And they were like, can you make us food? And you didn't want to disappoint him. And so he was like, I'll throw tortillas in the fryer and then top them with whatever we got and hopefully it works out. And then it became known as Nacho's Special. And then, you know, exploded from there. And so we go from, you know, that to you go to a Clippers game or a who's the St.

Louis basketball team? Oh, they don't have one that sucks. Oh, I don't know anything about sports. St. Louis Raptors. Who are the Raptors? Toronto. They're Toronto.

Yeah, I was pointing up Canada. Yeah, she really was. That's why they're great. Canadian Raptors. But no. And then you get into like, you know, you got ballpark nachos now. So I like, yeah. Could I consider ballpark nachos a salad? No.

No. There's still nachos. No. Also, you eat salad with a fork and spoon. You eat nachos. Not always. Hold on. Wait, also you say fork and spoon?

What do people, do you eat salad? I eat everything with a spoon. Fork, spoon, sometimes knife. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah, and nachos are exclusively hand food. Hand food. I agree with that. But I think some salads should be hand foods. Like what? Caesar. spoon sometimes knife yeah it's fair yeah yeah and nachos are exclusively hand food hand food i agree with that but i think some salads should be hand foods like what uh caesar caesar salad

there is no way in hell you're eating with your hands saturday night i ate a caesar salad with my hands because it was was that what the chef intended or you just being a trash panda in public probably being a trash panda to be honest but they But they served, it was bone-in. It was a bone-in Caesar. So it was a little gem head that had been bifurcated. And then the core was left on. The core was not dressed. So I could just pick up the clean salad core and eat the salad and then drop the salad bone on the plate. The only way you can do that is with an endive cup.

Oh, yeah. An endive cup? Yeah the plate. The only way you can do that is with an endive cup. Oh, yeah. An endive cup? Yeah, that's the only way. Nicole, I think one common thing we can agree on is that hand salad should be more popular. Yeah, let's make it happen. You know, lettuce wraps, that's what we're saying. I like lettuce wraps. I love lettuce wraps.

Are lettuce wraps a salad? Bum, bum, bum. All right, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. Really made a meal out of that one, huh? And hey, if you like opinions about food, check out sporked.com. That is Mythical's new website complete with an entire team of personalities.

We just call them friends. Yeah. We have people like Justine and Jordan and Danny. And Nadia and Danny. And that's- I forgot everyone. Gwyned. Oh.

Anyways. Sorry. I forget things. I forget my own name sometimes. They are taste testing all of the grocery store items out there that you can imagine from canned tuna to cottage cheese. We've done some taste tests with them. They did it so you don't have to. Spork.com.

Dot edu dot gov. All right, Nicole. First up, who do we got? got at it's jesse bernard cold leftovers with my bare hands over a running sink what a weird way to structure a sentence no no i completely get it this one like speaks to my whole like there's no verb there's no like subject or verb really yeah uh yeah literally no subject to verb but i get it no cold leftovers with my bare hands over a running sink. That kind of defines my life. I do this often.

Yeah, same. Because the sink's already running, so you don't have to get the faucet handled dirty. Yeah. Because your hands are soaked in like cold meatball sauce. Do you use your thumb to push in the food ever? Yes, I learned to eat with my hands from one Mr. Ramesh Nayak. Deepstad? This is Deepstad.

I love that you know it's Deepstad now. Yeah, but you know it's the way you eat the like roti and subji. Yeah. Yeah, you like, you know, take the roti,

the delicious wheat flatbread and you scoop up the stew and then you push it in your mouth with your thumb. Yeah. And I eat damn near everything like that.

Cold spaghetti and meatballs out of the fridge. It's using the thumb as a lever to push it in my mouth. Great. Do you have more self-respect than that?

Not really. I knew that. Anastasia XET says, green apples with milk or any dairy product is a top tier combination. This instantly triggers like a sour feeling in the back of my like ears. But then the milk comes in and saves you. Yeah. I think if it was a baked apple, I'd be all about it.

Ugh, love me a good hot apple. Yeah, hot apple, but like just biting into a green Granny Smith, like mm-mm. I don't eat Granny Smith's raw. I don't mess with them. I do. I love a green apple.

Skin's too tough. Oh, that sounds like you probably. My teeth are soft. Are you sorry? Little baby needs harder teeth. No, no, no, no. Yeah, that's gross. I feel awful that we like you probably. My teeth are soft. Are you sorry? Little baby needs harder teeth. No, no, no, no. Yeah, that's gross. I feel awful that we just did that.

At questionable downhiller, question able denhiller, more people need to pair hot sauce like they would pair wine. Good. This is a good opinion. Your downhill skills might be questionable, but your opinions are not. Too many people out here willy-nilly with their hot saucing. Yeah, your hot saucing needs to be intentional. Intentionality in your hot saucing. Like habanero with seafood.

Come on, man. You can't midget smacks again with Continental. We're both big Luis Guzman fans. That was Luis Guzman from Waiting. Yeah, Luis Guzman has a movie called Luis Guzman Kick Me in the Face. Really? Or Punch Me in the Face. We should have him on the podcast.

We love Luis Guzman. But yeah, no, there's certain hot sauces that don't pair well with other things. It's weird for whatever reason, putting any hot sauce that isn't sriracha or the same brand. Hoi Fung Foods also makes a sambal. Oh, I love that stuff. And those are the only two hot sauces that can go on like a Panda Express or any American Chinese food for me.

Anything else doesn't taste right. Ditto with putting any real hot sauce on Taco Bell. It doesn't taste right. There's gotta be intention. Right on. NotPicas says, using the end of Takis as a shovel to carve out banana flesh is a great snack.

This is giving me school lunch energy. Yeah. This is what it's all about. This is like you have a lot of pent up ADHD in your creativity. You can get stimulated in the classroom. Yeah. And so you see like banana flesh, Takis, got to do something with all this sort of pent up energy. And then you do that.

Sounds like it would work as a flavor combo. Yeah. I'm all about it. No, I love that. Great opinion. Good stuff today. flavor combo yeah i'm all about it no i love that great opinion good stuff today good yeah i'm loving it this is the kind of stream of consciousness i'm into yeah this is weird here ethan.cow i microwave cold apple juice so there's a top layer of warmth and a cold layer at the bottom interesting this is either a person who doesn't know what they want in life or they know exactly what they want. Bingo.

You know, let me tell you what this is about. This kind of food preparation just screams salmonella to me or like illness, foodborne illness. We're trained as chefs. Nicole, I trained properly at the culinary school of hard knocks. God dang right I did. Yeah. You're like trained to not want anything room temp. Right.

That's like the danger zone of bacterial growth. So this is like. Yeah, you're like trained to not want anything room temp, right? That's like the danger zone of bacterial growth. So this is like, yeah. There's something about this that like, it's like, oh, if I drink the hot and I drink the cold, it'll make equal in my stomach. But no, like this just screams like foodborne illness to me. I can't. Hot cider is good. Cold apple juice is good. There's no foodborne illness risk in apple juice, I say, if somebody dies and sues us.

Yeah, someone's going to, yeah, not true. Booked and Boozy says, Flamin' Hot Cheetos dipped in mustard. Oh, it's a doozy. That's a lot. It's a doozy. Kraft mac and cheese with sriracha ketchup. Both of these are great. The hot Cheetos and mustard feels like wasabi in my throat.

That's a lot of flavors. That's a lot of acid. That's a lot of acid. That's a lot of flavors in your mouth. And if you can handle that, if you can ride the lightning and harness that. You survival of the fittest. You're unstoppable. Yeah, yeah. My God.

Yeah. You need to replicate your genes to have a lot of babies so they can be the same. Yeah. Kraft mac and cheese with sriracha ketchup. That's actually my topping for Kraft mac and cheese. That sounds so good right now. Also eggs. Sriracha ketchup and fries too. Oh, I've never had sriracha ketchup, that's actually my ideal topping for Kraft mac and cheese. That sounds so good right now. Also eggs. Sriracha ketchup and fries too.

Oh, I've never had Sriracha ketchup. Well, I make my own Sriracha ketchup. No, same, same, same. Three parts ketchup, one part Sriracha. Oh, I do half, half. You are more of a man than I am. You are a monster. This show is a toxic masculinity problem and it's you.

I hope that's not true. At ccchangename most of the times we just guess. Sometimes when I really want a sweet snack I'll pour a couple bottles of Dr. Pepper into a saucepan and warm it up and mix in a bag of hot cocoa powder.

It's tasty when kept warm. Hot cocoa and hot Dr. Pepper. Hey, I'm into it hot dr pepper is a thing that's like a thing that people drink i don't know if it's a texas thing i remember my dad saying he used to drink it in montana for whatever reason oh your dad was in montana one time yeah he was stationed there in the air force i'm watching yellowstone right now and i'm really into montana oh my god if my dad was alive he would have loved to talk about the show

Yellowstone with you. I gotta work a dead parent into the podcast once the show or else I don't feel right. The acid of the Dr. Pepper well the cherry, the cherry is definitely cherry and Dr. Pepper. We talked about the flavor of Dr. Pepper on the podcast. Yeah, but I still don't know what it is 100%. That's gonna be nice with the cocoa.

I like cherry and chocolate. This sounds really good. i mean i'm all about it there's like one i love pilk what's that what do you know it's pilk it's pepsi milk it's pepsi mixed with milk pilk what i love pilk um it's a drink look it up read it is it a real book is it a real book is it a real drink yeah pilk pilk look up pilk ew oh my god you you've drank this why is it pepsi i don't know why it was always pepsi why is it pepsi not coke i don't know what to tell you we drink my grandma drank pepsi you pour me pilk it would shut me up the pilk would shut me up anyways i'm saying there's dairy fat solids in the swiss miss cocoa powder add that to the hot dr pepper you're basically making a hot pilk.

I need you to never say the words hot pilk at me ever again. I actually have a vanity plate that just says hot pilk on the certified pre-owned 2017 Nissan Altima. Yeah, that could make, that could fit. Oh, it fits? Because anyone's wondering if he's lying or not. Randall Hadass says, I don't like Krispy Kreme donuts

they're overrated you're overrated let me finish I'd rather get my donuts somewhere where they aren't so freakishly uniform also

with the slight crunch around the surface of the donut that you absolutely do not want to get in a Krispy Kreme I know no one else who feels the same

Krispy Kreme donuts are dank they Krispy Kreme donuts are probably better than every artisanal donut that I've

ever and I oh I've had them all me too I've gone up to Portland and eaten them me too and I would rather have a Krispy Kreme voodoo yeah voodoo is not I mean they're blue star blue star sidecar they do good stuff but their dough it's it's never like that melt-in-the-mouth tenderness that you get. If you're looking for a different quality in your donut that I'm not looking for, that is absolutely fine. But I don't think you can generalize and say they're overrated. I think they make one of the best products of any fast food restaurant out there. I think Krispy Kreme does a good job. Me too.

Dunkin's overrated. Dunkin's all right. Yeah, sure. I mean, it came here, and we were all like, oh, Duncan. And then like nobody cared anymore. This is interesting. At Sissy Titch, not eating the pizza crust isn't childish. When the edge crust is good, I eat it.

And when it's not, I don't. I'm a grown man and I don't need your judgment, Ashley. Who's Ashley? Ashley's judging him. I'm sorry. Hey, Ashley, stop judging him. He doesn't need it. I eat my pizza crust because I'm a big girl.

I'm a girl. I'm a pizza crust. I was thinking about this. I do eat all my pizza crust, but I won't eat the bread heels. What? I won't eat the bread heels. The end piece of the bread, I will use it for something. Check your privilege initially.

I will use it. Oh, I dehydrate my own breadcrumbs. I'll throw it in this thick and sauce with it. I'll do something, but I will not eat it plain. I love bread butt. No, no, no. Going to school with a bread butt sandwich. No, you never go.

You eat it in your house with shame. Oh, actually, that's a good idea. You wrap like an old banana in the bread meal. That's what I do with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obvi. You got to microwave it. You got to wet a paper old banana in the bread meal. That's what I do with it. Yeah. Obvi. You got to microwave it. You got to wet a paper towel and microwave the bread bun. I don't do that.

You love wetting paper towels and putting some sort of carbohydrate in them. I don't do that. What do you mean? What do you mean? That's how I cook rice. You put a handful of white rice in a wet paper towel. You microwave it for 30 minutes and the fire department comes and then you have rice. Okay.

Shay. Last one. Last one. Last one. Shay Jafoli says The best possible combination From Auntie Annie's pretzels Is their sour cream and onion pretzel

With caramel dipping sauce Do you know how we talk about How some things taste like vomit? Yeah This is one of those This is one of those things That taste like vomit This is trop

Yeah, what? This is trop Oh, gotcha, gotcha You have a booger Yeah, wait, I really do Listen, gotcha. Yeah, booger. Yeah, wait, I really do. Listen, today's a rough day for me. Some days, you know what? Some days you see like an NBA player and everything they're shooting is going in.

And then some days it's just like, man, they're really throwing up brakes. I threw the booger in the trash can. I feel like mentally it's one of those days where it's like, whoa, clanging off the rim. And that's fine. You know, you got buggers going down. I'm wearing a black shirt. There's probably dandruff on it. I'm gross.

It's okay. We all have those days. I have them too. I like Auntie Anne's pretzels. I like Wetzel's pretzels. Oh, well, you suck,

Nicole. Anyways, thank you so much for stopping by the podcast that we do. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or at HandyZada with the hashtag OpinionCasserole.

And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. You're so funny. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram where we launch new videos every week. You're so funny. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. What did I even say? You just are today. You just are funny today. We're losing it, folks. We'll see you next time.