A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - No, A Hot Dog Is Not A Taco

Episode Date: October 6, 2021

If people want to say a hot dog isn't a sandwich, that's fine, but if people say that a hot dog is a taco, we will fight you!! (with our words, of course) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. If people want to say a hot dog isn't a sandwich, that's fine. But if someone calls a hot dog a taco, I will straight up fight them. With words, strong words, big, veiny, pulsing words, because no, a hot dog is not a taco. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And Nicole, I feel like today we have to almost break down where the name of the podcast comes from.

Take it away, Josh. We gotta go back to square one on this one for people to understand. Speaking of square one, I hate the cube rule. I also, okay, I hate the cube rule. We'll save that because that, oh, God, do I hate the cube rule. It's very fun. It's very cheeky. It's just when people take it as scientific evidence.

We'll get to that later. So our official political stance on whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich, it's irrelevant. Am I your running mate? Neither of us. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah's irrelevant. Am I your running mate? Neither of us. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Totally. I'm your running mate. Okay. Nice. You as the face. Nice. Nice. Okay.

Okay. But then I'd be the one writing like the weird policies to give all my friends tech breaks. Puppet master. The Manchurian candidate. Never saw that movie. Me neither. What I'm saying is the name of the podcast, it was just something to spark food debates, right?

Sure. Because is a hot dog a sandwich is the number one food debate out there. We have not given our official stance on it. I don't think we should. I don't think we should. This is not the time nor the place. We might save it for a later date. We were thinking about the 69th episode of Spectacular.

Nice. Nice. But we still got the 100th coming up. Maybe one day we will talk about that. Sure. And a lot of people on, say, Twitter, when someone asks, is a hot dog a sandwich? They will provide a link to the podcast and say, there's a whole podcast

just about that. But it's not! It's just the title, bro. How to tell us you've never listened to an episode, but you know it exists. But I do appreciate the link being spread around. Oh, me too. Keep sending links out there, folks. That's how we spread this around. Even if the context is wrong, it's fine.

Just send it to everybody. Send it to your grandma. Yeah. I don't care if you completely misunderstand everything. Keep spreading the links. Johnny Appleseed just dropping podcast links on Twitter. Wait, hold on. Dude, I keep wearing these stupid beads.

So stupid. So stupid. I hate those beads. Just kidding. I love them. They're cute. That said, the number one response we get whenever we even post the name of the podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, is no comma, a hot dog is a taco.

It simply is not, right? You can agree with that. We're not going to spark a big debate on this. We can just rail against these people. Nicole scoffs. This whole podcast is going to be scoffing at the title. I just don't get it. Like, a hot dog is not a taco.

I don't know what kind of, like, brain synapses go off for people to think that, though. The craziest thing is the self-assurance with which they answer that question. Yeah. No, it is. It was like that 15-year-old who was, like, a very outspoken atheist

and someone would be like, thank God, and they'd be like, you mean the flying spaghetti monster in the sky? It's so fake. And you're like, listen, just chill. You watch one episode of South Park. We get it. Just be cool, man.

That's the way I feel about the smugness of the no comma. A hot dog is a taco. Very smug. It's incredibly smug. Again, keep sending the links. Keep listening. Even if you're one of those people. We love the links.

I appreciate the links. Keep spreading those links. Spread them on Twitter. I appreciate the links. Keep spreading those links. Spread them on Twitter. But of course, you alluded to it earlier. You know where the hot dog is a taco theorem comes from. Yes. Do you want to break down the cube rule of food? So it's basically just a, it's an infographic where it's the cube rule of food.

And it's color coded as a cube. And if the bottom layer is colored, that means it's classified as toast. And this is about starch placement, right? Yes. The full name is the cube rule of food for identifying dishes based on starch locations. Yes, that is the official title. And then a sandwich is on the top and the bottom of the squares of the cube. And then a taco, which is what we're talking about today is the left side the

right side and the bottom of the cube now what i'm trying to say is that the bread hinge who says that the bread hinge is the bottom of the bread i'm not saying it is i don't either yeah i agree with you yeah no i agree because this is a very clever the cube rule of food is a very clever little device trying to break down. I don't actually know who made it. They have a whole website just called cuberule.com. And again, when I say I hate the cube rule, I don't hate it. I think this is a really freaking cleverly done website. Yeah, it's sweet.

It's very sweet. But a lot of people will actually take it and think that it's some sort of like factual thing, unless I just absolutely misread sarcasm, but it's sarcasm from like hundreds of people on the daily to the point where they think this has actual merit. So bread on bottom is toast. Bread on bottom and top is sandwich bread on bottom. And then two sidewalls is a taco. One of the biggest problems with this is they don't differentiate between

starch locations, right? What is the starch? You have to define your terms. If you're trying to break down something into its philosophical components, which this does really well, it is reminiscent of the Socratic forms. Sure. Right? Socrates thought everything could be broken down into its absolute component form, its true pure essence.

That's what this tries to do. But that said, not all starches are the same, right? Of course not. A solid polenta on the bottom is that toast. A bed of spaghetti, does that constitute starch? What about a spaghetti taco? What about a spaghetti taco? If you build walls of spaghetti up.

But I agree with you that the taco, there's also a fundamental misunderstanding of what a taco is. Okay. And another thing that really bothers me, can I just get all this off my chest right now? Josh, you know, this is your safe space. You just let it all out. Lay it out there on the table. Go for it. Thank you.

So one of the things that also really bothers me about our fans who I love very dearly, and please keep spreading the links for crying out loud. No, Josh, you love the fans regardless. I love them. I love you. I love you so much, baby. Don't leave me. I can change.

Is that they will just send me dictionary definitions? Yeah, that's funny not understanding that the dictionary reacts to what the public's definition it's called descriptive versus prescriptive language right okay so the dictionary doesn't set a hard line on this is what this word means and then society follows society can mold and change words the best example of that is the word literally correct literally used to be the antonym of figuratively, right? So if you go, I'm literally dying right now, you know, you get that smug English teacher in high school that would go, no, because your heart's still beating and you still have brain function. Legally, you're not dying. So no, you're figuratively dying. But the word was used as a sort of

idiomatic device for so long that they officially put it in the dictionary that it can just be an exaggerated point right so if you say i'm literally dying we know what that means whereas if say there was a soldier on a battlefield who was shot and he goes i'm literally dying you know those are two different contexts yeah right and so that said the dictionary definition it is something that molds and change and the definition of a taco starts with the phrase usually fried which is not the case when you're talking about tacos yeah no right no i know this is a regional bias thing i mean it's going to be biased if you're living in america versus say living in mexico versus you go to france and they have tacos there in a parisian talk dude parisian tacos have you heard of these? No. What's a Parisian taco?

It's becoming like the hottest new street food in France. And it's like the fat sals of tortilla wrapped things. They make these giant tortillas and they will just put like chicken fingers, French fries, a bunch of different sauces, like generally cheese sauce. And then they wrap it up in this like square diaper. Kind of how Chipotle mistakenly folds all their burritos now. Yeah, okay. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. And then they put it up in this like square diaper. Kind of how Chipotle mistakenly folds all their burritos now.

Yeah. Okay. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. And then they put it in this like panini press and you just get these fat grill marks in it. Yeah. And it's mostly run by like Middle Eastern immigrants who had like a kebab shop, right?

Yeah. Or something like that. And they'll just make these like. Do this restructuring. Yeah. And now there's these huge taco chains all over Paris. So you go to Paris and you ask for a taco. It's completely different than what you'll find in America where we think a lot of people at least think of the Taco Bell taco, which looks like the cube roll, right?

Yeah. That's the cube roll taco. Yes. It's got, you know, or at least an Ortega stand and stuff taco shell with the little. Those are genius, by the way. Yeah, I love those. Whoever doesn't like those. I mean, it's white people taco night.

It's white people taco night. Sometimes you need white People Taco Night. You need the natural reset button. White People Taco Night hits sometimes. Yeah, I love it. But then that just makes you appreciate, you know, what, God, I don't know if I would call them real tacos, but actual tacos, right? Actual tacos, yeah. Like, which are 99% of them served on a griddled, soft, pliable tortilla that is just flat, and then you fold it into whatever shape you want.

I have a question. What is a Dorado taco? Is that fried? Yeah, so tacos Dorados are what the Taco Bell taco was based off of. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

They're like a regional taco from I think Sinaloa or maybe Jalisco. I don't know. I get them at this Guadalajaran spot. It's my favorite. And they're typically filled with either potatoes or beans. You fold the tortilla around it and then you fry them so they're crispy.

Is it an already cooked tortilla or is it raw masa? It's a cooked tortilla. Okay, it's so good. I was just thinking about it. And you use a filling that you can typically like stick to itself, right? Sure, yeah. So you put the kind of mashed potatoes or the beans in there and then the tortilla sticks to it. You fry it.

But then at that point, it kind of sticks together. So it's kind of like a dumpling at that point, right? Agreed. So is a taco dorado now a dumpling? Well, I mean, let's look at the cube rule of food. One, they say nothing about dumplings. But if you get a fully closed system, the cube rule of food would call that a calzone because there's starch on every single side. Which my favorite thing about the cube rule of food is the amount of cross-culturism.

Oh no, calzone's bonus round. It is actually the dumplings are in the calzone bonus round. Oh, the dumplings are a calzone. So a taco dorado might be considered a calzone. That's interesting. But they also consider a pop tart to be a calzone and that's just ridiculous. It seems really funny. I mean, like calzones are pretty

uniquely Italian right? I'd say so. Calzone would be the subset right? That everything else falls under. So to say an empanada is a calzone as opposed to a calzone is an empanada. Right? Who's making that distinction? Interesting. And my favorite is number four which is sushi.

Sushi is where there are all sides of the cube filled with starch except for two holes at either end. So say a taquito, right? Do they have taquito on the list? According to the cube rule.com website, it's a falafel wrap, pigs in a blanket. What do you mean

falafel wrap? Falafel's just the filling inside the wrap. I guess, I don't know. You can wrap anything in there. What does falafel have to do with it? Dude, talk to the creators of the website. Don't look at me. I'm just, I'm the messenger. Don't show the messenger. Do you know Rodini Park in Burbank serves grilled falafel? What the hell does that mean? What's a grilled falafel? I don't know.

They offer falafel both fried and grilled and I'm so curious. Oh. How do you grill a falafel? I think, I think it's like, it's like a, it's like a vegan patty. Maybe. Yeah. I don't like that. Okay, okay. So what else do we have on this cube rule of food?

Some kind of interesting phenomenons that happen where I believe they don't go with the cake theorem. What is the cake theorem? The cake theorem within the cube rule of food, I've at least heard this as sort of like an offshoot, right? Like Kabbalah is to Judaism. Yeah, let's go down that road, baby. Thank you. Yeah, of course, of course, of course. You have the sandwich, which is layers on the top and bottom filling in between.

But then the club sandwich. Is a layer cake. is a layer cake. Is a layer cake. A hundred percent. Which I kind of agree with that. Yeah, I kind of agree with that. There's certain things in the Q rule of food where I'm like, yeah, look, a Big Mac, technically that's a cake.

Yeah, have you ever? Remember one time Trevor literally made a- The meat is defrosting. Remember one time Trevor made a cake out of bread? No. Literally for the show we work on? I've seen it. I'm familiar with the show.

Remember when you were working from home and Trevor made a cake out of sugar bread? Oh my God, he did. No, it was, yeah. Trevor did cinnamon toast. Yeah. And then he made a layer cake out of the cinnamon toast. I think one million percent that a Big Mac is totally a cake. What's the other one you said?

What? Well, I mean, I was thinking about a- Club sandwich? Club sandwich. But what's the other one? What's the sandwich that neither of us really like? Muffaletta. No, not muffaletta. Monte Cristo. Monte Cristo. Monte Cristo. No, that's a sandwich. Why? It's sugary.

You put jam on it. You put jam in cake. It's covered in like sauce. It's covered in powdered sugar. And they'll serve like a raspberry jam with it. The fact that there's ham and turkey in it just means that it's a cake with meat in it, it's a meat cake. And that's totally fine. That was my nickname in high school. Okay,

on to the next one. Back to why I get so mad about the no hot dog is a taco thing. The starch matters, right? The starch matters. The difference between a taco and a sandwich, because that's another debate that's been brought up, right, is a taco a sandwich? Because some states do tax tacos as if they were sandwiches because the legal definition of some states for a sandwich is anything that can be eaten handheld.

And you may have different reasons for wanting to tax that more to try and entice people to, you know, go to more street carts, go to less street carts, things like that. There's a lot of complicated reasons for why things are classified the way they are in a legal system. But you go to Mexico, they eat a lot of sandwiches. Yeah. Right? They got tortas. They got semitas. They got pambazos.

They got sandwiches. They have sandwiches. Yeah. Right? That's the thing. So how you differentiate between a taco and a sandwich, ditto in America, we got tacos and sandwiches, is the starch, right? The different starch makes it a different classification.

I guess. A tortilla versus leavened bread. What is a muleta? A muleta? A muleta. Why can't I speak today? A muleta is a taco sandwich. No, I don't think.

But see, like. No, a muleta is just a form of taco, I believe. But isn't it two tacos on top of each other? Two tortillas? Essentially, yeah. Yeah. But I mean, what kind of makes that more of a sandwich than a taco that would be folded over itself? Oh, according to this rule, yeah, a molita would be a sandwich.

Yeah, which is not right. A tostada would be toast, which is true because tostada just means toast in Spanish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I agree with that. Mm-hmm. And then let's look at like the whole Mexican canon of delicious tortilla goods. Okay, I'm done. And how they would fit into the cube rule of food.

Okay, I'm done. So tostada would be toast. Toast. Which. Correct. Agreed. Yes. A molita would be a sandwich.

Which is incorrect. Which I believe is incorrect, but you kind of eat it like a sandwich. It looks like a sandwich. You pick it up like a sandwich. You pick it up like a sandwich pick it up like a sandwich do you like molitas oh do i you do really i always order a molita from a taco truck that's so fun that's the one thing i almost never order just because i'm like i i love the fold i love the way that folding it holds the salsa yeah but you know i love cheese man i know i've had a couple molitas where the cheese holds it like up enough so They were just like, ugh.

Three tacos, a taco. Four. Okay, so you could say a taquito or a rolled taco, also known as a flauta, depending on where you are. That would be the sushi roll. No, it's not. Sushi. But also certain burritos are served with open ends that aren't folded. If you go to, I believe, not Jerez, Juarez. Okay.

Juarez, Mexico, their burritos are not folded at the top, right? It's served like they have the falafel wrap in the cube roll. It's served open. So that could also be that too. What about number five? Any Mexican foods that are like that? I mean, that's the taco salad. Oh.

That's the taco salad. That's the taco That's the Yeah yeah yeah What do they call it A Tostada salad The Disneyland Disneyland invented it

I don't know Maybe Oh the talk up The talk up The talk up Yes This is a bit of a Conflicted history

But Disneyland may or may not Have invented The roots of the Folded tostada salad I love a good tostada salad I do too It's like eating a big nacho plate it's so fun salad it's in that i would call that i mean it's a very close equivalent to salad in a bread

bowl i think it is salad it's it's literally salad in a bread bowl figuratively yeah figuratively depending depending on your definitions of bread of course okay and then calzone burrito Depending on your definitions of bread, of course. Okay, and then calzone. Burrito. No, it's not. Crunchwrap Supreme. If a burrito is closed on all sides according to the cube rule of food. A calzone, a Crunchwrap Supreme is a calzone, but a burrito, the way, the log shape, it's not a calzone.

It is. I mean, it's a cube. It's a stromboli. It's a cube. It's a stromboli. It is a much better stromboli than it is a Calzone. Also, I vastly prefer Stromboli is one of the great foods. I love Stromboli.

It's handheld. It's handheld. It's a long hot pocket. It is a giant hot pocket. And also the quality difference between Sbarro Strombolis and the rest of their food is insane. Their Stromboli are so good. Okay, honey, let me just tell you ever have you ever have the spinach ricotta pie that had like the two layers of crust on it? That was my jam.

Sbarro, I don't know if those menu items came out at different periods. I love Sbarro. Then like their spaghetti that's just been sitting in like 108 degree water. Yeah, you never get the spaghetti. If you wanted, you would get the baked ziti, but that was only if you were really feeling it. All their pasta just had a half inch of water at the bottom. It was wet and it was sticky. It was gloopy.

So, Bara, if you could ever figure out your wet pasta situation, your moist noodles, if you could ever unmoisten the noodles just a bit, you will do so much better. Okay, but the pizzas, they slapped. They slippity slapped. They were good. They were good for what they were at the mall when you were like, you know, seven at the mall.

Whenever we hear about like malls dying in the death of American retail, it makes me sad. But then I go there and I like look at the food court options and I'm like, you deserve this. No wonder you're dying. Charlie's cheese. Have you ever gotten a cheesesteak from Charlie's cheesesteaks? No, I love myself too. There are, let's, man, it is very rare that I will just. Yeah, their beef, it tastes like brined roast beef from a deli.

Yeah. And then they put like lettuce and tomato on it by default, which you can, of course, ask for it without that. Sure, but. But get Philly's Best in there. Philly's Best makes a fantastic product. Get them in all your malls. Yeah, I love food courts. So I'll always.

Quarter up with all of these chains. Have you ever had like a hot dog at a food court? Yeah. Those courts, though. Quarter up with all of these chains. Have you ever had, like, a hot dog at a food court? Yeah. Those are the best. I like hot dog on a stick. They do one thing, they do it well. You know, but even, like, Sansai Japanese cuisine. It's just like... Oh my god! Oh my god! Sansai was

the shh... I can't say that word. Sansai was the best. Oh my god, my childhood. Just had the best flashback ever. But these are restaurants that could not exist outside of a mall food court, right? Yeah. I mean, for a little bit. Not for a long time.

I loved Sansai. You know what's really funny? So we, I suppose I should issue an official apology and retraction here for the fried rice versus chow mein episode. Because I was saying, I was talking about how there is a West Coast bias for Panda Express, and I mistakenly said that Panda Express is not on the East Coast. I knew they were. It came out weird. I'm going to blame Maggie on the editing.

Don't blame Maggie. Eat it, Maggie. I think it's because when you think of the East Coast, you think of actual mom and pop Mom and pops, yeah. And that is relatively true. Panda didn't get to New York City until I believe five years ago. Wow. And 26% of all Panda locations in the world are in California.

So the bias holds up, but East Coast does have Panda. And I got a lot of people DMing me and hitting me up on Twitter just going, I've never seen a Panda Express outside of a mall. So for them, like I look at Sansai and Charlie's cheesesteaks, and I'm like, that's food court food. People on the East Coast look at Panda and just go, that's crappy mall food court food. And that, that disappoints me. I mean, it is. Yeah, but it's the best. When you go to a food court, it's definitely like the upper echelon of like food court foods. I agree. It's, it's

always the safest pick for me. Yeah, that's true. It's the safest pick. And you got to do it like after you try on the clothes at the Nordstrom. Because you ever just like eating a double orange chicken in Chow Mein and then gone and tried on a shirt? No. Yeah, you're like with the amount of sodium because I chugged a Diet Coke too. Oh, nice. The amount of sodium and Diet Coke and just general fried calories in your system. I have a question for you. So make the shirt fit different.

I have a question. What is a Wetzel dog? Oh, a Wetzel dog. So one- What would that be classified? Because you said the starch matters, right? Oh, a Wetzel dog. A Wetzel dog is- So that is pretzel dough wrapped around a hot dog that is then baked to a golden brown.

Yeah. And then you can kind of finger the hot dog out if you wanted to. Yeah, it was fun. You would just go- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone who didn't suck the dog straight out the Wetzel dog- I wouldn't do that. Wait, I thought we were on the same page. No, no, no. I would just use my thumb to push it out and be like, ha, yeah. Anyone who didn't suck the dog straight out the Wetzel dog. I wouldn't do that. Wait, I thought we were on the same page.

I would just use my thumb to push it out and be like, ha, ha. Yeah, you push it out with your thumb and then you slurp it down. No. Well, we had different experiences. But according to the cube rule of food, a Wetzel dog is a sushi. Yes. It's not a piece of sushi. Also, the idea is that within the cube rule of food, sushi to them means a

maki roll. Yes. Or I guess maki roll would even be redundant. It's like saying chai tea. It's just maki. Because toast, according to the cube rule of food, a piece of nigiri is toast. Yeah, that's correct. Which is false. But that's interesting that they went with sushi instead of maki, because I would just say that this is a cultural misnomer. I'm

splitting hairs here. I'm nitpicking. Okay, but sushi is like a classification of like a type of meal and food and preparation. to say that this is a cultural misnomer. I'm splitting hairs here. I'm nitpicking, okay? But sushi is like a classification of like a type of meal and food and preparation, you know? They're going to a maki restaurant. What's a hand roll? Oh my God, is a hand roll... What do you think of a hand roll?

Because look, there's a large opening and then there's a tiny little opening. What's that then? Does this not allow... Wait, Nicole, where was the falafel wrap on the cube roll thing? Falafel wrap? Let me take a look. A falafel wrap is considered, it is a sushi. Okay, if

a falafel wrap is sushi, then a hand roll would also be sushi because you probably have you can have one closed end. That's something the cube roll doesn't seem to allow for. You can have one closed end. No, the cube roll does not seem to allow for one closed end. Yeah, but there's so many foods that are like that, right? Like an ice cream cone.

What's an ice cream cone? An ice cream cone is unclassified. The more I think about it, the more I'm starting to fall in love with the cube rule. I know, right? This is fun to analyze. Nicole, we live in a society. No, we don't. There is a social contract.

This room is void of society. Yeah, this is one of those like designated lawless zones. Yeah, like what is it called? Brick County? Is that what it is? Is that what it is? There's always some TikTok where it's like, you know, there's one square foot of space in Montana that you can do whatever you want.

It's like, well, what would I want to do in one square foot? Unincorporated. Yeah, unincorporated. That's what the podcast booth officially is. Maggie, anything we say in here cannot legally be used against us in a court of law, correct? We've gotten the sign out from Maggie. Okay. Now that I'm allowed to just do something illegal, I don't want to do it.

Who can we slander? My point is the type of starch matters. Hold on. Do you believe, Nicole, do you believe that anything that is on unleavened bread can be considered a sandwich? Give me examples. A laffa wrap. Is that a sandwich?

A sabich wrapped in laffa. A sabich wrapped in laffa. A sabich wrapped in laffa. Yeah, sabich for anyone that doesn't know, which is probably most of you. Yeah. It's like my favorite combination of foods. It's fried eggplant, hard-boiled eggs, tahini, and sometimes potatoes as well, or french fries.

Yes. And that is, what a lovely combination. Shockingly, one of the best drunk foods I ever had. When I was in Tel Aviv, I got a sabich late at night, and it was like 109 degrees at 3 in the morning coming out of a club. Did you put french fries in it? Yeah, yeah, I got that. But the french fries, they just kind of got to room temperature with the cold fried eggplant and the hard boiled eggs. Really good sandwich.

Great sandwich. Really good sandwich. What does that consider? Wait, I just called it a sandwich. Yeah. Oh, I guess I think it's a sandwich. Okay. I guess, yeah. I mean, guess I think it's a sandwich. Okay. I guess.

Yeah. I mean, a falafel. Well, a falafel and a pita. Because pita is leavened, just not that much. According to this, a falafel pita is a quiche because it has an opening at the top. What? Yeah. But a falafel wrap is a sushi.

Wait, hold on. Did they change the classification from quiche to bread bowl? Well, on the website, it's now quiche. Interesting. On the website. I'm looking at the website. I'm not looking at the chart. I was always a little bit confused about like a pie that has a, say, an apple pie with a lattice crust versus a pumpkin pie with no crust on top would be considered two different foods based on the cube rule of food, which to me is very confusing.

They actually have that written down. So a slice of pie, a double crust pie is considered a taco. Okay. Which is weird because it makes no sense. And then. Wait, a double crust slice of pie is a taco. Yes. According to the cube rule wild

yeah i don't get it but you would have to oh my god you would you would invert it if you invert it then it's on the bottom i think it's saying it doesn't shocking i know who eats pizza who eats a slice of pie like i would like to do they have just like slices of pie on a stick that they batter and fry at state fairs not cheesecake i want pie i don't know if they have pie but chicken charlie figure it out yeah you should invent it um it depends on the filling i think you'd have to make a very stodgy i know but what if you just froze it what if you just froze like an apple pie because i want apple i want fried apple pie i kind of need it right now what i think they i can't help you why are you looking at me well i don't you have a you know you cook you cook good we have a kitchen we probably have all the ingredients i don't know why you're not doing

this i'm busy recording a podcast but a double crusted whole pie is a calzone but but wait a key lime pie is a quiche because it doesn't have a top crust now i think it is a hybrid between a calzone and a quiche a lattice crust apple pie actually it's a quiche because it has little openings you can still see it okay so you're talking about the ideaiche, a lattice crust apple pie. Actually, it's a quiche because it has little openings and you can still see it. Okay. So you're talking about the idea of does a lattice crust with openings in it, with little holes in it, does that constitute a top layer? Because I have had this same debate with an olive garden manager because I walked in with

a mesh tank top. They were like, sir, you're not wearing a shirt. And I was like, it's mesh. And they're like, that's called fishnet. And I was like, my money is green. I would like my Tuscan kale soup. want my zuppa toscana mr olive garden manager so that's up to your debate i mean could you get a nipple through the fishnet you get multiple nipples through the fish it would not have it would not have caught many fish you look like an extra from christy aguilar's dirty

music video yeah and i looked hot and I was trying to get some dang Zupa Toscana and about 7 to 12 breadsticks in me. Wait, wait, wait. What was the weather like outside if you're wearing a Christian

tank top? It was night, but I was wearing it during the day as a joke to the beach, but I forgot to bring an actual real shirt. Joke to the beach.

Well, yeah, I was like, you know, it was like high school and I was just wearing it. I was also like, I was big. I was like 262.

I was like a big old shot putter. Getting better with time. I didn't think that like we'd be going to the Olive Garden after the beach. I didn't think we'd be staying there that late. And so I thought it was like a hot day where a nice little like fishnetty mesh tank top you got as a joke from the flea market. And then we ended up at the Olive Garden and I wish I wouldn't have walked in.

But anyways Point is When we're talking about tacos You can ask you a question Go ahead Did you get a tan That's like a fishnet tan? No shockingly

Okay The fishnet shirt was off And I was out there Doing my boogie board And my skim board So no I did not get just a check mark tan on me But I've always wanted to tan something silly into my body

Oh I have one What'd you tan? I went on a bachelorette party and I put a... What'd you put? I don't know if this is safe for me to say. Yeah, say it. Well, you got it. Okay. So I went to a bachelorette party in Miami and I put a bitch on my chest.

Oh my god. It says batch bitches on my chest. And then I went out in the sun and I got a really gnarly sunburn and then it's It says batch bitches on my chest. And then I went out in the sun and I got a really gnarly sunburn. And then it's just been imprinted on my left chest. Your bosom. On my left bosom. No, bosom is a delicious Korean dish. On my left bosom, just out for the world to see.

And no matter how much I tan over it, how much I spray tan over it, scrub, exfoliate, aloe vera, it's going to be on me forever. And that sucks. Oh, it's still there. On my wedding day, I had batch bitches on my chest. But that's neither here nor there on the subject of hot dogs. The crazy thing is the tortilla predates leavened bread by thousands of years. This is where I come down on this. You know, because if you say a hot dog is a taco, one, hot dog tacos exist.

You got huevos con weenie, right? It's a popular dish. They'll have that at guisados sometimes, and they'll make a taco with the eggs and the hot dogs in it. Or tacos con salchichas. Those exist. Hot dog tacos absolutely exist. You need a way to differentiate that between a hot dog

sandwich, whether or not you believe it's a sandwich or not, or just call it a hot dog. You need a way to differentiate that between a hot dog and a taco. Also, put some respect on tacos. They've existed for thousands of years, even though the word didn't technically exist until the 1800s, but meat put inside tortillas have existed for thousands of years before the concept of yeast-leavened bread ever even existed,

before the concept of stuffing meat into a casing and boiling ever existed. So the taco cannot be grandfathered into the hot dog category. I believe it is absolutely separate. No, a hot dog is not a taco. No, the cube rule of food is not scientifically accurate. Please keep spreading the links. All right, Nicole. All right, Josh.

We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time. I was waiting to see if you wanted to say something. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles! Was there, like, a Nickelodeon show where they like yelled something like that? Because that's what that brought me back to.

All that. Oh, I think it was that. Yeah. All that. Or what was the one? Oh, no. Maybe I was thinking of Epic Rap Battles of History. What?

I don't know, man. Okay. Anyways, first up we got Epic Rap Battles of History. That whole thing. Oh, Josh. What did you just say? Epic Rap Battles of History! That whole thing. Oh my gosh! What did you just say? Epic Rap Battles! They had that whole thing.

Red and Link were on some of those. That was probably the first time I saw Red. You watched Epic Rap Battles of History. Never have I ever seen it. Have you never even heard of that? What is it? Oh my god. Me and Maggie are both shocked.

Sorry, I'm sorry I disrespected your culture. It's one of those things that was incredibly awesome in 2007. They would take like two historical figures, like, I don't know, Abe Lincoln and Jesus or something. And then they would have a rap battle between them. It was very clever writing and they did a lot of really great sort of costume work. And then now when you watch them, it's kind of makes you cringe from the inside out like your intestines are being turned into pickles. I can't wait to watch it. Yeah.

No, I mean, it was like really great content. It's like, you know. For the time. Yeah. It's like Charlie bit me being turned into pickles. I can't wait to watch it. It was really great content. For the time. Yeah, it's like Charlie bit me era kind of thing. They're still making it and I hope I don't alienate anybody. We're probably friends with a lot of them. I can't wait to watch it and love it. Formative in my early years. First up, we got

at emart432 the best charcuterie board is a bubble bath charcuterie board. A bubble bath. A bubble bath. A shout out to Maya Rudolph for doing some of the best voice acting I've ever heard. Can she come on the show? I would love Maya. Yeah, Meg, you got Maya Rudolph's personal cell number? Well, find it. Do you know who

her mom is? Uh, no. Minnie Ripperton. Oh, no idea who that is. Bubble bath charcuterie board. How do you feel about eating food in the tub? Okay, let me tell you. There was a period of time when I worked at Lush Cosmetics. Yes. And I loved baths. I would take so many baths. My

friends hated me because I would fall asleep in the bathtub and like ruin everyone's plans because I wouldn't come. That's just like a safety issue, I believe, in my mind. I'm really good at sleeping. But like... You have narcolepsy? No, I just, I'm really good at sleeping. Okay. Okay, and then like, so, and I also But like You have narcolepsy? No I just I'm really good at sleeping Okay And Okay

And then like So And I also at that time Was obsessed With like cured meats And cheeses And stuff Wow

So this is a very good opinion Because I would probably do this I never did it But like Something about like Maybe like 20 year old Nicole Or 19 year old Nicole

Is very attracted to this Thought Now I don't have any experience With bubble bath charcuterie boards But what I do have experience with Something about maybe 20-year-old Nicole or 19-year-old Nicole is very attracted to this thought. Now, I don't have any experience with bubble bath charcuterie boards. But what I do have experience with are public pool Doritos. And that's where you hold on. Hold on. Maggie looks disgusted.

You keep a bag of Doritos, preferably salsa verde. This is before spicy sweet chili came out. This is most of my experience as a portly preteen in a public pool. And you would keep it just kind of sunbaked and open at the edge of the pool. And you'd go, and you'd paddle up to the side of the pool, wet hands, shove a wet hand in there, and then by the fifth handful, it's just soaked,

right? It's like got the texture of a proper chilaquiles, where the sauce is just soaked in to the chip. Except the sauce in this case is public chlorine water mixed with the urine of like 35 children. Yeah. And so I love that. Honestly, that is like a very nostalgic thing.

Eating chips with wet hands. I'm like, I'm transported back to the best time of my life. That was, but for us, it was Lay's original. But I had the same exact childhood. It's kind of good because the chlorine dilutes the salt, gives it an extra dimension. Gross. Gross. Okay. Miss Ake says, cottage cheese with salt, pepper, and cherry tomatoes is so smack.

Yep. This sounds, yeah, sounds delicious. Anytime you think about a cottage cheese opinion that might be bad, replace cottage cheese with ricotta. Sure. Right? And then it sounds delicious. Or farmer cheese.

Yeah. Cottage cheese, farmer's cheese, ricotta. Technically, it. And then it sounds delicious. Cottage cheese. Yeah. Cottage cheese, farmer's cheese, ricotta. Technically, it's all the same cheese. I know the American version of cottage cheese, generally a little bit more liquidy. The curds are bigger. It might be a little saltier. Big curds. Big curds. But still, it satisfies kind of the same idea. So this is absolutely, give it a little zhuzh of olive oil on there. Sounds lovely. Some fresh basil. One of my favorite things is like olive oil poached cherry tomatoes. Oh, sure.

That are served just kind of gently warmed on top of like either ricotta or burrata. Delicious. A sweeter cheese. Sure. Ugh. Crusty bread. Yum.

Yum. Yum-y. At Rachel Faye 1, hot chocolate tastes better in a mug. There's no denying it. Rachel, bad news. I'm denying it. Hot chocolate tastes best

out of one of those thick styrofoam cups from the 7-Eleven. Oh, my gosh. This morning. Drink through the hole. I need you to know this morning I was looking for a paper cup because I like to have my flat white oat milk. I'm sorry. I like to have my oat milk flat white in a paper cup.

And I couldn't find it when I was looking for it. So I settled for a mug. And it did not taste the same. It did not taste nearly as good. I don't know that I enjoy drinking anything out of a mug come to think of it. I taste the same it did not taste nearly as good i don't know that i enjoy drinking anything out of a mug come to think of it i like i like the idea of mugs i agree but i'm like a paper cup styrofoam cup kind of girl yeah me too i like being able to sort of pinch the edges in and create a little funnel like a runway yeah yeah one million percent the only thing is

with those styrofoam cups it like it like. The crease breaks. Yeah. Yeah. So you can't do that with the styrofoam cup. No, but the 7-Eleven, they got this like hybrid styrofoam cup. Wow. I know. The fluffy one. Yeah. Yeah. That has little coffee cups on it.

The brown diamond coffee cup. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Greg, yeah. Never bought one. No, it probably leaches toxic chemicals into your system. Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Yeah, but no, that is the best way to drink hot chocolate. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Bra underscore it do be me though. Weetabix with sugar and warm milk is fire. I love Weetabix. I love Weetabix. Weetabix is great.

Oh my gosh. It's an old man cereal. It's great. It is like top tier for me, like probably top four. I love Weetabix. And I will say sturdy old man cereals taste better with warm milk. Yes, because it needs to break down. It needs to break down.

Yeah. You think your grape nuts are too hard? Pop them in the microwave for 30 seconds. It's porridge. It's porridge. Weetabix turns into porridge. Yeah. After a while.

Yeah, yeah. 100%. You know what I like to do? I don't do sugar. I do like a drizzle of honey. Yeah. And boy, oh boy, is it delicious. Lovely.

I made, you know, you sent me home with that jar of marmalade. Yeah. Because this is what we do in the kitchen. I don't offer people things, but Nicole would be like, here, honey, take some marmalade to like us as we're walking out. I turned that into like a cocktail syrup. Yum. Okay.

But then after I drank a bunch of the cocktails, I wanted cereal, right? Because that's how my life is. Okay. So I poured a bowl of cereal and it was kind of like a healthy, like kashi, whatever. Nice. But I took some of this like spiced marmalade syrup. Oh, yum. And I put it on my cereal. Like it on my cereal like muesli like music yeah that was a delight delicious all right we got at aloha alana blanca lactaid pills should be cheaper it's not my

fault dairy is my comfort food enemy yes honey birth control and lactaid should be free okay start it right now maybe maybe focus on one more than the other. This is the, okay, you know how you said I'm your running mate? This is the platform I'm running on. I'm sorry. I'm really passionate. No, you should be passionate. What, you're running on free lactate or free birth control? Both! Because it seems like with a certain subset of population that I vehemently disagree with

that they don't seem to like the idea of free birth control, what we do is we introduce a bill that's about free lactate and it's about you getting to eat as much cheese as you want. And then a provision within that bill, we sneak it in through the back door that's also employees must cover birth control

and free birth control. Yeah, million percent down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is how you do politics. Read the fine print. Or don't, actually, so that way it can get passed.

You blind people with the cheese and then you get gender equitable politics on the back end, baby. Up top. Politics. Ow. Sorry. Oh, God, did I you get gender equitable politics on the back end baby. Up top. Politics. Sorry. Oh god did I hit you? Yes your slops are strong. Okay Jeff underscore McCourtney says the best frozen pizza is

freshette gluten free four cheese. Fight me or don't. I've never had this before. I've never. I have had it pains me to say freshetta because that is the name. Alright so freshetta is spelled like bruschetta and it should be freschetta because that is the name alright so Freschetta is spelled like Bruschetta

and it should be Freschetta and it's not and it bothers me and maybe that's just you know my own issue I need to deal with okay

they do make a very delicious they do a really good product they're like a little bit elevated you know from the Red Baron Freschetta really fantastic

frozen pizza if they're gluten free if you say it's good I agree with that. Also, like, the crust after it's been frozen and rebaked and baked again. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. Doesn't really matter. Might as well be gluten-free at that point.

Yeah, for sure. At UCA.DB, drinking double cream is delicioso. Oh, my God. So double cream, if I have this right, in British or Commonwealth countries, double cream in America is whipping cream. Single cream is half and half, I believe. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. So there's homies out here just drinking whipping cream. That's really not good for you.

No, but what do you mean good for you? It tastes delicious. I mean, have you ever had a coffee brevet, like an espresso brevet? No, what's that? It's a literal latte made out of cream. I think it's called a breve latte.

I can't do this. I would poop everywhere. Free lactate and birth control. I would poop everywhere. Prove it. I don't want, I can,

but I don't think that'd be good for anybody here. I like to drink down the half and half flavored ones. I like to take them like shots.

One time we did that. They have like the them like shots. What time did we do that? They have like the Cafe Americano. Do you remember that one time we had like a bunch of like different flavored like creamers? They were all flavored like other things. Yeah, like we had Snickers. We had Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamer. That was a wild chemical ride.

Me, you, and Trevor were just taking shots of that. And then we looked at the breakdown of the calories like, oh my god, what did we do? Yeah, yeah. That said, I've never just drank straight heavy whipping cream. I can't. I would vomit. But you just eat whipped cream, right? But yeah, it's whipped. How much whipped cream do you

have to eat to equivalent one shot of heavy whipping cream? I don't know. What is equivalent? I don't think they're chugging quarts of whipping cream. No, like they just have like little sips of it. Yeah, like sneaky little sips. That's a fun thing. Sneaky little sips.

Love sneaky little sips. Sneaky little sips. I can't speak English. It's just sneaky little sips. Sneaky little sips. You're a sneaky sip, Nicole. Jeez. Oh my God.

Sneaky little sip over here. Read the next thing sneaky little sip. Josh never does voices. This is little sip over here. Read the next thing, sneaky little sip. Josh never does voices. This is a breakthrough for me. This is huge. What a breakthrough, sneaky little sip. I do this all the time.

You're crazy. Oh, my God. Okay. Android 425. Air fryers are just tiny convection ovens, and it drives me crazy. Yeah, baby. Come on. You got opinions on air fryers?

Yeah. They're good, but they are what they are, which are tiny little ovens. Just use your oven. Toasters are just like stupid little ovens that you can only fit tiny little things in. I know. Yeah. Toaster's just a top loading oven. That is really.

I have a toaster oven. A deep fryer is just a temperature regulated pot. You know, everything's just everything, baby. That's the world. That's the world. Just a temperature regulated pot. You know, everything's just everything, baby. That's the world. That's the world. Air fryers, they're a convection oven that works really, really well. And they're cheap as hell.

Petition for Josh to stop saying baby. Come on, baby. Come on. Get down with the air fryer, baby. D-Landry 63, baby. Come to the... Oh, no, that's not the name. No, it was Andre D-425. Come on, baby.

Get down with the air fryer train, baby. Come on. Make a cauliflower crispy, baby. Come on, make a cauliflower crispy, baby. Come on. What you got against crispy cauliflower, baby? That's my official stance. Alright, at DLandry63, nut M&Ms and other ingredients that are hard when cold should not be put in ice cream.

Hurts the teeth. Yes. As an advocate for the soft teeth community, DLandry63, I will send you a thing of floss that you will never use because that's why your teeth are all so soft. Is not flossing why people's teeth are soft? I don't know. Oh.

I just, I try. I floss. I mean, I floss. It's just hard, you know? I don't floss. Like every day though, they're like, you just floss three times a day. I'm like, who has a time?

Floss three times a day? Who has a time? I brush twice a day. I floss once. That's a lot. It's good enough. I try. I feel like my gums would bleed.

I go for checkups. But yeah, this is why I really dislike anybody who puts gummy bears in their yogurt land. I cannot trust them. Because it gets hard. I put gummy worms in gummy bears sometimes. Do you mix it into the yogurt or do you eat it as a little treat in line? Because that's what I do. No.

I like let it get cold and hard because it tastes good. Oh, but it just, it obstructs the everything. Yeah, but now you don't trust me. Now I don't know what to do. I never trusted you. I'm nervous. I never trust you, Sneaky Snake. Come on.

Stop. Okay. Leo Liz says cold brew coffee with orange chicken is a terrible combo. Yup. You know what this was? Lilo Liz was just like eating this coincidentally and just thought like, I need to tell somebody. I need to tell a trusted somebody that this is bad. Who can I tell?

None of my friends should be burdened with it. Let's tell these internet strangers. And you have, and I thank you for it. And it's how I feel when I'm eating a breakfast burrito with hot coffee. Where I'm like this is a bad combination. Despite the fact that I want both in the morning. Can I tell you what it is? It's like the spice in the coffee.

It like wafts over your mouth in an unpleasant way. I hate it. I agree. I won't do it. Gotta be in an unpleasant way. I hate it. I agree. I won't do it. Gotta be iced coffee. Yeah, I feel you. 100%. Ooh, like an horchata iced latte.

Yum-oh. Yum-oh. All right. On that note, Nicole? Yes? Thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions Are Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChefOr

and Henny Zada with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. Josh.

Nicole. What's up? And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. Nicole.

Josh. See you next time.