A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Pro Chefs Rank Fast Food Breakfast Sandwiches

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Today, Josh & Nicole are ranking fast food breakfast sandwiches from best to worst! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hey yo, you wanna split a couple McMuffs? Josh, you know I don't like it when you call them McMuffs. Call them what they really are, McMuffins. Stop dulling my shine, Nicole, I'm a star. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And today we have a bevy of McMuffs, Nicole.

We have a plethora of McMuffs. One time Josh just casually said McMuffs to me and I said, what did you say? And he said, you know, McMuff, a McMuffin. Here's the thing thing I was raised on McMuffs I believe deeply in the power of McMuffs, and I think that's their proper name I do not like to call that McMuffin who called them was it was it your brother that started calling them McMuffs I could been my dad come on brother. This is the food of my birthday the the cheap breakfast sandwich This is not the food of my people is a happy meal

God we didn't get happy meals because I grew up in the age of one it was either like the two for three dollar It was probably two for two dollar back then egg McMuffin or sausage McMuffin with egg Which is the correct move meal deal, but then also the dollar value menu So you get up charged for less food on the happy meal so we were like not about that You get a water cup you steal the sprite in the water cup I will do that forever and always, especially at a Chipotle. I think the biggest fight my grandma and I got in

in her old age is when she was 100 years old. We went to the Sizzler and she got a water cup and then she's like, fill it with Sprite. And I'm like, granny, I can buy you a drink. I can buy you a Sprite. Let me buy you a drink. You don't have a Sprite. Let me buy you a drink, Granny. You don't have to do that. It's not the Great Depression anymore.

Aw. You know, I'm happy to pay for this meal. And then she got really mad at me for not stealing Sprite for her. Yeah, you always got to steal. Like, my mom takes salt and pepper packages. Still, we have so much salt and pepper at home, but it's just the point of it being there, you know? Oh, and we're out here buying $9 Maldon salt.

So fancy for no reason. So fancy. That's why we can't afford a house. That's why we can't afford a house, but you know we can't afford. Breakfast sandwiches. Bunch of breakfast sandwiches. What's your initial instinct on this? So I do not get breakfast sandwiches. If I'm ever going to get one, it'll always be a McGriddles.

I specifically love, adore, need, want, crave, thrive when I have a McGriddle. What is it about the McGriddles that speaks to you? Because the plural is the correct form. Yes, one McGriddles is two McGriddles is four McGriddles. Correct. I think it's because it's something about the maple, just like almost like a dog.

Like I just, I don't know what it is. It's almost like- It's a Pavlovian response for you. For me I just, I don't know what it is. It's almost like a... It's a Pavlovian response for you. For me, yeah. I don't know what it is. It's the sweet, salty combination with like the cheese and the egg. It just makes sense. It's just, if I were to close my eyes and imagine what breakfast is, it's a McGriddles for me.

But again, I don't find myself ever getting fast food breakfast items. I always find myself, if I do, like getting a burger. If I were to get anything from a fast food place, it's always a burger. It's never been breakfast. The thing that generally stops me from getting fast food breakfast is the fact that we live in Los Angeles

and there's so many good breakfast burritos. Totally. And those scratch the same itch. You're right, you're right. That said, I do love, I think the last time I ate a bunch of McDonald's breakfasts was like on a road trip to Reno with my best friends. But for me, one, we don't have the McGriddles represented here today simply because...

It would be unfair. Also because I would tank the ranking so hard because I am disgusted by McGriddles. You hate McGriddles? I hate McGriddles. No, you can't hate them. I think that maple syrup... You don't respect them. I respect them because I think the inventor of the McGriddles also invented stuffed crust pizza and the Mc,

no not the McGrib, but I think the stuffed crust pizza and then he started the chain Smash Burger. He's a whole other story. I believe we call that a taste maker. A taste, like truly yes. But there's something sickening about the especially fake maple, but I think even real maple with eggs and cheese.

Oh I love it. Maple and sausage, awesome. The eggs and cheese with maple, I can't do. See this is where you and I differ, and I love our differences. I eat out of garbage cans, you know, but maple and eggs, it's just don't. I thought that was just a quirk for like,

on camera and stuff. Did it last night, I threw away a little cake, but then, the cake that I'd made, but then I was like, well, I'm gonna try and transform that cake into something. Remember when I used to spray Windex on the food in the trash so you wouldn't eat it? Yeah, yeah I do.

I'm like a dog in a lot of ways. I got hip dysplasia, I have a shiny coat. I'm like a dog too. Let's get into it. For me the sausage McMuffin with egg is the best breakfast sandwich on the market. That's what I would say. However, I thought before this that McDonald's had invented the fast-food breakfast sandwich. But that's not the case. 1973, but it's not true. The Breakfast Jack from Jack in the Box, Jack in the Box founded in San Diego in the 50s, almost kind of invented the idea of the breakfast sandwich.

Because a lot of fast food places had breakfast platters. In fact, the McMuffin was originally sold as an open-faced eggs Benedict. And like, see that, whenever I think of breakfast, like I think of a complete meal, which is so silly. That is weird. We're Americans, Nicole, we eat in our cars. We eat on the go. Let's try the breakfast jack. Let's crack into that.

And we have another breakfast sandwich from Jack in the Box that I believe is better. But the breakfast jack, for the longest time, it was 99 cents. It's just a thin slice of ham, a single fried egg, American cheese. This is not ham, this is sausage. Oh, we got, okay, breakfast jack sausage. So I try to get... The OG one has ham. So I'm gonna tell you right now, I try to get sausage as a through line

through all of these sandwiches because I thought it was fair. And that's my option every time. And I always try to be fair and balanced. Fast food bacon is never great. I mean, sometimes it's really good. Ham to me reminds me too much of like growing up and that's all you had in the fridge.

I've never been a breakfast- I kind of reject ham. Can I tell you something? The idea of breakfast ham makes me like sick. Hot taco sauce. Oh yeah, Meggie actually pointed out how sexualized sauce packets have become, like the Taco Bell ones.

And now I guess the Jack in the Box ones that say hot taco sauce, it's hot for taco. We've sexualized all of our condiments in the fast food game, I blame you for it. What? This is the working man's breakfast sandwich. Oh my game. I blame you for you. What? This is the working man's breakfast sandwich. Oh my god. This is no frills. I like breakfast sandwiches on a bun. One. Oh my god Nicole that is aggressive. I don't like that at all. You

spit it out? Made me feel sick. I want to try the the spicing on the sausage. The fried egg is perfectly fine. The bun it's nice and soft. It's like it reminds me of like the brand Bimbo. The Mexican brand. The bread is Bimbo? It reminds me of that brand. I'm, it's nice and soft. It reminds me of the brand Bimbo, the Mexican brand. The bread is Bimbo? It reminds me of that brand. I'm sure it's coming from somewhere. It's not as good, it's not as soft as a McDonald's hamburger bun.

I'm sorry, it doesn't do it for me. There's something. The sausage is so good. You think that's good? You think that's good fast food sausage? Bestie, what are you talking about? It's so well spiced, it's super, super fatty. What are you talking about?

There is nothing great about the Jack in the Box breakfast sandwichbox breakfast sandwich the breakfast Jack again work a working man sandwich I didn't like it. We'll try the ultimate crack that open so you requested me to get the ultimate breakfast Yes, so the ultimate song is split top roll. It's got I believe a ham bacon and sausage Let's see. No, it's got two eggs Ham and bacon and cheese No sausage fatty. That's see. No, it's got two eggs, ham and bacon and cheese. No sausage powder, that's disappointing. I ordered it, but they didn't put it, so I don't know what to tell you.

That's great. Actually, it's not. It's not as dry. The way they fry their eggs. I don't like anything Jack in the Box breakfast related other than the burrito. Jack in the Box was the first breakfast sandwich place I've seen that served a double sausage sandwich. Oh yes! It was like a double cheeseburger but for the sausage that was a revelation.

It's simply not great. I respect that Jack in the Box pioneered the game, but there is nothing spectacular about it. Jack in the Box has a great breakfast burrito, but that's not what I'm talking about. Yeah, I like their breakfast burrito. They put nacho cheese sauce in their breakfast burrito. And I doubt, like see, like that's something that I can get behind. Unfortunately these breakfast sandwiches, they are not up to snuff. I think they're- Is that what people say? Up to snuff. It's not up to snuff.

It's not up to snuff. Jack and Bugs I think might be the victim of coming first. You know? Yeah, when you come first everyone just like ruins everything. You know, they're not out here generous with their time. Let's crack open the McMuff. Why are you going so out of order right now? I just saw the viewers at home that are listening

and not viewing, I made the most beautiful spread. I was gonna do talking points, but then Josh just barrels through. I'm going in chronological historical order here. Fine, that's fine. You know, you gotta understand your past to understand your present. And now this...

Well, honey, if it's any indication of our future. And now this, again, we're doing sausage McMuff with egg here, but the original one just got a disk of ham. They call it Canadian bacon. And Canadians get really mad. I like Canadian bacon. Because it's like, what is the difference between Canadian bacon and ham? Maybe we have to go through the whole podcast on that.

Yeah, well, I think it's like a smaller, thicker disk, right? Canadian bacon is supposed to come from the loin Oh, but also if you're in Canada, there's no such thing as Canadian bacon There's like she's making streaky bacon and peameal bacon stuff like that. Maybe they call it back bacon But anyways the McDonald's breakfast sausage, I think is the best now. Yeah, I I agree with you McDonald's Those little laboratories that they got operating 24-7 trying to make you addicted to food, I'm down. Did you put anything on it? No. I normally dip it in ketchup.

It doesn't need anything? I think this is the most perfectly architected sandwich. Oh my god. The circumference of the egg, one, the egg is thick and also they're cooked in Teflon molds to hold the shape, unlike Jackamocks, which has a flat fried egg. And then Teflon molds to hold the shape. Unlike Jack Mox which does a flat fried egg. And then Teflon molds are like proprietary to McDonald's. They were invented in the 70s. You know normally...

This is absolutely perfect. Normally I don't go for English muffins because I find them to be hard and dry and unpleasant. But I don't know what sort of yoga mat chemicals they got going on. Azothicarbonylmide. I don't know what they got going on. Azothicarbonylmide. I don't know what they got going on. It is a perfect mouthfeel. And let me just say, you can taste the cheese in this. You can.

Normally, in like breakfast sandwiches, fast food breakfast sandwiches, you don't always taste the cheese, but the cheese is predominant and it's good. The spicing on the sausage too is- It's gorgeous. Jack in the box is pretty good. I've had some like terrible breakfast sausages

at fast food restaurants. McDonald's to me, again, they got a team of scientists in a lab and they're also just like cooks. Like a lot of people think of fast food restaurants as just having a lab where they're like putting unnamed chemicals in the sausage. No, it's actually, you know, a team of cooks, food scientists, but they are sourcing like spices

from around the world trying to figure out what makes their product taste the best. What cinnamon, yeah, yeah. They go through like multiple, multiple, multiple cinnamons to find out the best cinnamon. Josh, can you smell this smell? Is there butter on it? There's definitely a, the toast is real.

And the toast is good. I believe there's butter on it. It might be like a hydrogenated vegetable oil with butter extract. I think the butter might be making it transcendent. Making it a transcendent. Making it transcendent. You talk about English muffins being kind of hard. If you think about the cookery on an English muffin,

this is a wet batter. Effectively, it's cooked. That you cook on a plancha. Yeah. Which to me says it should be wetter because it's steaming, it's not losing a ton of moisture over the course of 20 minutes in an oven. Wet bread isn't always appreciated, you know, appreciated.

This is a really good English muffin. I'm sure there's dough conditioners and chemicals. It's like pliable, it's squishy, it's stretchy. But like, this is a great English muffin. This is a great breakfast sandwich. Damn. Damn. I don't know if we're gonna be able to top it.

I don't, we have to try. Where should we go from here? Well, you are the arbiter of the selection. Crack open the Chris sandwich. So you're passionate about the Chris sandwich? I am passionate about the Chris sandwich as an idea. Okay. There's this movie, Role Models, where they have, what's the name, Christopher Minceplast.

Do they LARP in it? They LARP in it. Then I've seen it. There's a scene where Christopher Minceplast, fresh off of his role as McLovin in Super Bad, is sitting there and he's wearing a cape, and Sean William Scott just looks at him and goes, do you like Coca-Cola? And he goes, I more like the idea of Coca-Cola

than Coca-Cola itself. And then he just goes, ah. And that's me in a nutshell, all the time. Just constantly saying stuff like that. You are the McLovin of our lives. Literally, yes. Look, dude, feel this, feel this, feel how pleasant the Chris Sandwich is.

Oh! If you look at the evolution of buns. Wow, the heft. From the normal burger bun to the English Muff of the McMuff, to the Chris-san of the Chris Sandwich of Burger King. So this was introduced as like a direct competitor to McDonald's McMuffin. This was introduced in, I believe, 1983,

Burger King's coming out of Florida. They have fresh scrambled eggs. I'm sure they're not fresh cracked. I like the scrambled eggs. But these are cooked. I generally am a scrambled egg guy in a breakfast sandwich, especially a folded square scrambled egg, and they tried to fold and do their best.

100%. I see some browning on the eggs, but it's the extra fat in the croissant. The croissant just crumbles under the weight. It like compresses. It's pleasant. Eat it, eat it, but it's the extra fat in the croissant. The croissant just crumbles under the weight. It like compresses. It's pleasant. Eat it, eat it, eat it. I really like that.

It doesn't have the same, it doesn't have the, something about the McDonald's one, it makes me want to eat it more. This one, I have two bites and I'm good. It's the sausage. The sausage comes nowhere close to McDonald's. You're so right. The croissant. But holistically, the sandwich holistically is really good.

It's excellent and it feels a lot more filling, it feels like there's a lot more egg. Right. But as far as balance goes in a breakfast sandwich, it just doesn't come close to McDonald's. This is great, the croissant sandwich is awesome. It is quite delicious. What would you, have we been rating these? Should we rate them? Yeah.

Okay. Breakfast Jack. Four. Yeah, five. I don't think I can give anything less than a ten for the sausage. I'm gonna give it a 9.5. I'm gonna give it a 9. Okay. Breakfast Jack. Four. Yeah, five. I don't think I can give anything less than a ten for the sausage and mcruffin. I'm gonna give it a nine point five. I'm gonna give it a nine point five. As a McGriddles whore. I'm gonna give it a nine point five.

The Chris Sandwich, bro, that's like a seven. I was gonna say eight. Like it is... I'll give it an eight. I'll give it an eight. Really? It's funny because like, if you were to give this bread wrapping to a Frenchman, right? They would spit in your face. Yeah, well they would spit in your face just because they're French, you know? Well, French people don't just like automatically spit it. Do this, you stupid American!

They don't spit in American people's faces unless they deserve it. Why are you not letting my seven-year-old child drink wine in the streets? They do this in Marseille all the time. Do children drink in France? I think it's like very common to give your child like a small glass, like to rear them on it. Hey man, didn't you get drunk at eight days? What? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, don't worry about it. It's not that bad. Hano-pi, hano-pi. Croissant, croissant sandwich. Great, great work. I really like that. Great work. These are the types of croissants that you can get like pre-wrapped at Costco.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some people follow the rules, but where's the fun in that? I'm Soraya and this is Rule Breakers, the podcast where we celebrate the rebels, the misfits, and the ones who make their own way. Every week, I sit down with the biggest rule breakers in sports, entertainment, and beyond to talk about the wildest moments, toughest lessons, and why breaking the rules might just be the key to success. Follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Serea, an Odyssey podcast available now for free

on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. There's one more fast food place. I think we should go there because this is a very new one. Wendy's did not have breakfast for a long, long time. I think this is the most unhinged breakfast sandwich out of all of them. So this is the breakfast baconator. This is an abomination. Wendy's, so this is... Sousage, so it's sausage fashioned into a burger. It's a square sausage. Yes, they always do it square.

They like to do it square over there. Because Wendy's doesn't cut corners. Yeah. It's actually a way, that's kind of their reasoning in their little slogan, or it used to be. But the actual reason is that you can just fit more on a grill when it's square. Oh, well that makes sense.

And then it kind of does also like Dave Thomas who founded Wendy's in the 60s significantly later than most of these fast food restaurants started Maybe even been the 70s, but started in Ohio. He was all about like the appearance of abundance, right? He was like I want people to come here and feel like they're being taken care of that's nice You know and he really did did a lot of work seems like a pretty good dude And you know the square burgers kind of gave that but there's also the reason that you can just fit more beef on the grill Kind of iconic. Super iconic and For a while when Wendy's pivoted they were trying to hit the margins of like let's make chicken salad sandwiches

Let's make a grilled Asiago chicken ciabatta. Oh remember the Asiago ads? That made me laugh. Asiago, Asiago! Those would make me laugh so much. I love their ciabatta menu I thought it was like really, really well done. Their ciabatta burger was like great and fun. I like their ciabatta burger. But at the end of the day, they found what people wanted. Chili. Is the Baconator.

And the chili. The chili, a way to use the leftover burgers. It's smart. I think it's smart. It's so smart. But now their entire menu is just based off the Baconator. Didn't someone find a thumb in the chili's chili? I think it was a fraud.

I think they planted a severed finger in the chili. Oh, what? That sounds evil. Do you like it? This is very Wendy's. It's very Wendy's. It is, the bun is soft. What do you think?

I'm spitting it out. Why are you spitting it out? This is weird. I don't like it. The sausage is really hard griddled and cooked like is weird. I don't like it. The sausage is really hard griddled and cooked like a burger. I don't like that at all. The sausage isn't as well emulsified as the other ones. The other ones have this nice little snap.

You know what I mean? This feels like chunky ground meat. Yes. It's a coarser kind of sausage. Which I don't love, especially in a fast food breakfast. Same same same. I want it soft, smooth and silky. I want my sausage supple, you know? I want my sausage supple, you know? I want my sausage supple.

I feel like- And I want my sausage now. I feel like though, Wendy's executed exactly what they wanted to do with the Baconator breakfast sandwich. Their bacon is really good though. Their bacon is great. Their fast food bacon, Wendy's fast food bacon is iconic and delicious always. Well that's why the Baconator was so successful man.

What do you think makes it better? Because fast food bacon, like it can get real janky. Whatever they're smoking it with, it's great. I don't know what it is, if it's hickory, cherry, alderwood, I don't know, but whatever they're smoking their bacon with, 10 out of 10 fast food bacon experience. It imparts like a ton of flavor throughout the entire sandwich. Right. You know what I mean?

Right, right, right. The egg, the fried egg is perfectly fine and good. The bun, I would say probably tastes better than like a Jack in the Box. But there's something about the breakfast sandwich that I would just never, I would never order this in the wild. Maybe it's too smoky. I think it's too smoky. As a generality, like I love bacon, I love bacon in a breakfast burrito. Sure.

Do I love it in a breakfast sandwich? Uh, let me tell you, I don't love breakfast sandwiches. I'm a breakfast burrito girl through and through. What is it about it? About breakfast sandwiches that turn me off. I think it's the mess factor. None of these are particularly messy. Maybe it's just my mind.

It's all screwed up. I don't know, I don't love breakfast sandwiches. Sick thoughts. I'll make my own breakfast sandwich and a bagel's not a sandwich. Correct. Even if you sandwich it, it's not a sandwich. Exactly. So like a bagel is not a sandwich, but I'll eat a bagel. But something about breakfast sandwiches, they're not that satisfying to me.

There's a satisfaction quota that it doesn't meet always for me. I make a lot of breakfast sandwiches specifically for Julia on English muffins. Sweet. She loves it. That's her fun little weekend thing. And I make my own sausage out of turkey all the time to be a little healthy. Specifically for Julia on English muffins. Sweet. She'll have that, that's her fun little weekend thing. Nice. And I make my own sausage out of turkey all the time to be a little healthy. And then I'll always make some sort of like spicy mayo or with a little, maybe even put a little tomato paste in that spicy mayo. Yeah.

You know, it's kind of halfway to ketchup. So I'm a bit of a breakfast sandwich connoisseur in my own right. But yeah, there's something about the Wendy's Baconator that's just not doing it for me, but I could see other people really loving it. I think it's well executed. What do you give it? I give it for my own personal taste. I think it's still probably a seven.

It's really well done. I'm gonna give it a six. I'm gonna try it. Man. That's crazy. Wendy's Baconator, that's probably the most new school breakfast sandwich we're gonna have. I didn't love it. I'm sorry.

Now we're gonna go to the Fringe places that sell a lot of breakfast. Let's go to Donkeys. They're definitely not in the same category of McDonald's although McDonald's with McCafe is certainly trying to take a bite out of donkeys and Starbucks market share so I think this is a this is a sourdough Sandwich why did you open it like that? I don't know I asked for a toast. Oh rats, this is gonna be awful. I asked for it, let me tell you,

dad loved that they gave me a bread option. They gave me an egg option. They gave me a sausage option. They also gave me a cheese option. They gave me options and they said toasted or untoasted. I'm pissed off. Try the sausage by itself. Well, I wanna eat the sandwich.

No, try the sausage by itself. Let me know what you think. Cause that's what a lot of this comes down to, is what's the sausage taste like. There's something like really unnerving about it. Too spongy. Too spongy. Almost human. There's a weird flavor to it. Human?

Yeah, it could be human. It almost tastes like butane. There's like a weird butaniness to it. Well, I'm watching Yellow Jackets right now, and think about human flesh. Ella Purnell, friend of the show. She gets a... So good. Her... let me tell you, I love her eyes. Oh my god, I love everything about Ella Purnell. She was so sweet on the show, man. Her eyes are haunting. Them girls' eyes is haunted.

Something went down the wrong tube. It's the human flesh. It's fleshy. Something about it's fleshy. Not in a good way. Let me shout out to all the people who grew up with multiple working parents, probably lower income. We've all had the feeling of having the ingredients to make a sandwich, but the complete wrong bread. You got peanut butter and jelly. You ain't got bread. You got corn tortillas. You know what you're eating for lunch? Corn tortilla, peanut butter and jelly. That's just happening. You know, you got hamburger meat, you ain't got no hamburger buns. You got hot dog buns, you're making a log of hamburger.

And you're eating a ham dog. Is there too much sage in the sausage? Is that what it is, the sage? Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. This is simply the wrong bread for a sandwich. We could have gotten different breads. Part of this is on us. But if we get the option, we want to get something that we haven't tried. Okay, I'll take full responsibility. I fudged up, alright?

No, no, no. They have the option, you know. You should be able to get it. Yeah, if they offered, if we were at a PB&J restaurant, they offered corn tortillas, let me tell you, would one person get it? Yeah, would they feel bad about it? Absolutely. It was never as good as you wanted it to be. The corn tortilla PB&J, no matter how you toast the tortilla, I'd make a little tosadas out of it, throw it in the oven, do whatever. Never as good as you wanted it to be. The corn tortilla BB&J, no matter how you toast the tortilla, I'd make a little tosadas out of it, then on the oven do whatever. Never as good as you wanted it to be. The corn, the peanut butter, and the like, just strawberry sugar sauce that we called jelly. That did not taste good together. I always had raspberry preserves growing up. Seeds are no seeds. Seeds. Dude, it's sage. Sage is the flavor. Too much sage.

And I like sage and sausage. Am I a super taster? Wait, wait, wait. It tastes like pot. Would you f- It's like sage and hot oil. It tastes like pot. It tastes like- that's a weird flavor in this. It tastes like, what do they call them? Space cakes with sausage? Yeah, yeah, somehow Dunkin' Donuts sandwich tastes like marijuana. It tastes like marijuana. With none of the psychoactive properties. That's incredible. Well, not yet. 40 minutes later. See you in 40 minutes, babe. Woo. They call them fingers, but they never fing, man. I'm sorry. I had full-on snot come out of my mouth. That's an old joke stolen from The Simpsons.

Shout out to Bill Oakley, friend of the show. He may have written that joke. It was Otto, the bus driver. They call them fingers, but they never fing. And I don't think I got that joke for so long. And now I do, and I'm able to steal it on our podcast. Yeah, I give that like a three. I'm going to give it a four.

I'm going to give it a five. I'm going to give it a six. I'm going to give it a seven. I'm going to give it a eight. I'm going to give it a nine. I'm going to give it a ten. I'm going to give it a ten. I'm going to give it a ten.

I'm going to give it a ten. I'm going to give it a ten. I'm going to give it a ten. I'm going to give it a ten. I'm going to give it a ten. They call them fingers that they never fing. And I don't think I got that joke for so long. Now I do and I'm able to steal it on our podcast. Yeah, I give that like a three. Like a pretty- We'll give it a four. I'm gonna have it tied with Jack in the Box. Or Jack in the Crack. Let me ask you this.

This is, if you got that in an airport. I'll pay $17 for it. Would you finish it and be like, well, I don't love it, but- Airports, the thing about airports is, it's like international waters. Like, laws don't exist. So it's okay if I eat some. I think I would throw away the Dunkin' sandwich.

At an airport? And then I would, I know, and then I would get a core power, 42 gram protein shake and a five hour energy shot and just rough it on the plane until I landed. I think that's what I would do. And I'm not proud of it, food waste isn't good. But I would just be like, this isn't going to serve me, I'm going to be in a weird mood on the plane now because I ate that.

You know what my problem is whenever I go on airplanes? Not when I go on airplanes, when I'm in the airport, I try not to eat my food on the airplane. Did you get a sausage nugget in your walker? No, I got the corner of the Jackthe-box hot sauce packet in my drink When I go to the airport I try to eat the foods that are only like special to that airport That's a losing game. I know I know and that's the fun part about Being me I went to the Austin Airport once and there's the salt like barbecue, which is like, it's fun, it's like the Disney end of barbecue. Yeah, but it's fake.

Yeah, but even the Salt Lake barbecue, the Salt Lake itself is kind of fake. It's all smoked off site and whatever. But I went to the Salt Lake thing in the airport and they did like barbecue breakfast tacos. And I was like, it's a better option than a Cinnabon right now. And so I got there like pulled chicken

and there was just like a whole leg bone And I was crunching almost broke a tooth and I was like, I'm out I'm never doing this again the Cafe Dumont in the New Orleans Airport just like the worst penneas you've ever had Yeah, I'm not in okay. We are now in Starbucks territory. This is we have a direct McMuff competitor This is a sausage cheddar sandwich and a little side of sriracha because they got it like that that's cool I don't care who you are that's cool McDonald's I don't sorry McDonald's I don't believe has sausage or sauce sriracha I'm done are you I told you the marijuana I got the pot

sausage the pot sausage McDonald's used to have sriracha I remember when they introduced sriracha. Yeah. And they no longer do. You want me to sriracha that? Okay. Let's try the sriracha's. Cause sriracha's funny cause there's, it kind of means nothing.

It's sweet. This tastes nothing like sriracha. Well, it tastes more like Thai sriracha than Hoifong Foods brand sriracha. But this is my ideal breakfast hot sauce. Starbucks, you came at the king and you missed. Yo. And now here you are against McDonald's,

the greatest breakfast sandwich of all time. Goat. And you look silly. Starbucks, you are out here looking silly. You look silly. I've eaten this before. I've eaten a lot of their breakfast sandwiches before. Why?

Because you're driving down to San Diego. You need to rip a bunch of espresso shots. Why do you go to San Diego so much? I have a lot of friends in San Diego, and I enjoyed that in my time there, like drinking beers outside. Great city to do that in. And you got a Starbucks breakfast sandwich to fill you up. It is nowhere near as good as McDonald's, and like it's not like less processed or anything, right? It's sausage, egg, and cheese. Those are sausage and cheese like the most processed ingredients. Sausage is the earliest example of us like

really processing the hell out of meat in history. It's not like you're eating anything healthier at Starbucks than you are at McDonald's. The McDonald's breakfast sandwich is crazy. It goes crazy right? It goes crazy, stupid, dumb. I want another bite. I took another bite. My god. Truly. Okay, I'm gonna give this, I'm gonna give the Duncan, what did I give it, a four? The Starbucks one, I'm gonna give a five just for the sake of giving it a five. Yep. So I'll give it a five. It's not actually bad, but the fact that it is the same exact makeup as McDonald's and

it's so much worse, this is really a great option for driving down to San Diego specifically. This guy in San Diego. You know what I did? Sorry, I went to San Diego this weekend, but coming on the way back up, I woke up from a nap and had to pee, and so we pulled off at Starbucks. I didn't have any protein yet that day, and so I got three orders of their egg white bites,

which I think is 500 calories and like 40 grams of protein. A perfect meal for me. Are you okay? It was great. Their egg bites are incredible. I love their egg bites. It's a crustless quiche I like to get egg white bites like they taste good. There's a bunch of cottage cheese blended I like to get two I mean one order that comes with two egg bites of the of the what is it?

The egg white ones. Oh the egg white ones with red pepper. And then I also get the bacon and Gruyere ones. Yeah So I have four egg bites. That's a that's a much better breakfast option than Starbucks trying to play in the quarter McDonald's. Also they got that little egg white spinach feta wrap. That's good. Get a 32 ounce pink drink. Are there any that were not represented here that you have an infinity for? No. None? Yeah, you're not a breakfast sandwich girlie.

I'm not a breakfast sandwich girlie. I'm not. And I never will be, but the McDonald's one, holy crap, what a show. They didn't even need the McGriddles to win. They didn't need the McGriddles to win. I guess not. McDonald's is definitively the, what a show. They didn't even need the McGriddles to win. They didn't need the McGriddles to win. I guess not. McDonald's is definitively the best breakfast sandwich in the game.

The sausage McMuffin with egg, I don't think can possibly be beat by any fast food restaurant. Y'all let us know if there are ones out there that you prefer that we didn't hit, because we definitely missed a lot of them. The one that I will say I loved when I was eating college when I was a bigger boy and I needed to stay big and strong was Carl's Jr.'s breakfast burger.

Okay. They just put tater tots, bacon, eggs and cheese on a big ass hamburger. Carl's Jr. always does that kind of stuff. And it was incredible. The chargrill of the burger, the crispiness, the tots, every... You would use 15 ketchup packets on the entire thing. You would. And that was... Yeah, you as in me. There's a lot of Taco Bell-y items that,

they've had some that could technically qualify as a sandwich, but not necessarily. But I feel really good about naming McDonald's the champion. Well done, Mickey D's. Well done. Alright, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say, and we're burping up eggs. Now it's time to find out what other wacky eddies are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a little segment we call... OPINIONS ARE LIKE CASAROLES!

I put a little stank on it. I really want to play stand-up bass. I used to play stand-up bass. Yeah? Where's your stand-up bass? I used to play stand-up. Yeah, where's your stand-up bass? I paid it played it in seventh grade. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. No, no bummer Love to play it Josh speaking of stand-up bases. I have a little game. I want to play with you go on Okay, we're gonna play start bench cut with some breakfast with some breakfast meat items Do you do you know what start bench cut implies?

Do you know what start bench cut implies? We are audiences we are audiences so there's there's the old F Mary kill game that everyone's been right I was gonna say love. What was it love leave lust? Yeah, that's ever but the whole the whole FM K It's you can't say that for it already and like you shouldn't and then kill is like really aggressive and also you can't like say that on certain on alive forms Yeah, I don't want to do f Mary on a live Mary on a live Yes, love us leave. It's it's solid, but then to me the thing that's more intuitive is start bench cut Okay, well you know what you starter is Mary your your bench is someone you want to keep around so it's like the side piece Right so that's that's F and then to kill is to cut a player off your team

Sounds right sports analogy when I do this with you we can do love less leave. No, it's okay Okay, just start bench cut great. Okay, start bench cut bacon sausage ham I'm cutting ham. I grew up eating too much terrible I'm meat ham and Oscar Meyer Carl buddig the 99 cent ham. I love a good ham, like a good Virginia country ham. There's nothing better. A honey baked ham is great, but I'm cutting ham out of my life.

This is controversial. I am benching bacon. Oh my God, me too. Listen, bacon's one of the greatest things on earth, but I think we grew up in an era of epic meal time and Guy Fieri and everyone adding bacon strips and bacon strips on absolutely everything. And to me, bacon is best when it's a special treat for you.

But my mainstay, this is a thousand-year-old dish, Nicole, sausage. Sausage is to me the greatest breakfast meat. It's the greatest lunch meat. There are thousands of different varieties. I think like the sumptuousness of a sausage patty, especially in a breakfast sandwich or a breakfast burrito, is absolutely unbeatable. That's my starter. They're taking me all the way to the big game. Nicole, love, lust, leave. Love, lust, leave. Bacon, sausage, ham. I agree with you 100%. I'm starting breakfast sausage because there's nothing like it. Every

single time I'm at a continental breakfast, I will always get the sausage links without fail. They're so good. I love them so much. I'm going to bench bacon as well. Bacon, it had its moment in the sun, but I'm not obsessed with it anymore. And I refuse to make it my whole personality. And you should too, listeners. And you know, I'm going to cut ham, breakfast ham, again, unless it's in an eggs benny and it's Canadian bacon.

I'm not going for it. You said continental continental like marissa tome and my cousin vinnie and i really like that okay the buick skylock didn't have positraction in 1963 let's get to that first thing so whenever i eat bagels I put cream cheese and strawberries on it. Whenever somebody who is new and sees me do that, they say I'm crazy. Why? How can I tell them that I'm not crazy without forcing them to eat it?

Thank you. I'm from Boca Raton. Boca Raton. I'm from Boca Ratow. Boca Ratow. I'm from Boca Ratow. Okay, well. Eating bagels in Boca Ratow. Every Jewish person's dream. Siding me up.

Can I tell you something? This morning, sidebar, my husband made me a bagel. Do I love him more than life itself? Absolutely. He scooped my bagel, toasted it. He unconsensually scooped your bagel. He unconsensually scooped my bagel. Do you know what that means?

Do you know what that means for me? That is so disrespectful. And let me tell you, and then he put cream cheese on it. How much cream cheese did he put? He put a tablespoon of cream cheese. I looked at him, I took a bite and I said, David, this is not how you construct a bagel. I literally went in, I got my Philadelphia

and I put it on there and I said, this is how you construct a bagel. He took a bite of it, he's like, yeah, you're right. So I just had to air that out, baby. I love you for making me breakfast, but you need to be better about it Okay, I love you. Thank you I Could imagine this on a toasted sesame bagel a toasted sesame bagel with cream cheese and strawberries. Yum. Yum in my tongue. Where were the haters? Yeah, I'm talking still

The haters I don't know where they are. I don't wanna be around them because this sounds really good and sweet bagels are okay. People are like, yes, cinnamon, raisin, bagels, are the devil's work. Like shut up, shut up. Yeah, like I'm. Shut up.

I think it shows a decent amount of immaturity for people to look at the strawberry and cream cheese bagel and not immediately see the vision. I think you are a visionary. So I think maybe you just have to wait for society to catch up. But what you're ultimately describing here is called the Cassandra Complex, where it's only you know the truth, but by telling people the truth and telling them you're not crazy, you ultimately come off as crazy. I'm not crazy.

Right? This is a thousand years ago. No, I know you're not. But now you said I'm not crazy. So I'm like, God, should I think that she's crazy for some reason? So it's kind of a bit of a paradox that goes back thousands of years What I will say this seems like a food item that would appear in a Philadelphia cream cheese commercial That I would look at and go who's eating that and it's you out there in Boca Raton No, it's not it's literally not weird. I grew up eating cream cheese and jam on a bagel and strawberry jam is great But like yeah fresh strawberries are just as good and it almost gives you that like I love a tomato on a cream cheese bagel because you get the juiciness, you know, and it plays really well Strawberries are juicy. That's a great food that I've I don't think I've ever just had that and I'd really like to know

Good on you. You're not crazy, but you can't tell anybody that because then they'll think you're crazy Hi, my name is yesi and I'm not an almond mom, but I'm definitely a fitness girlie, so I do eat some weird things. I thought I'd share. Tofu with drizzled condensed milk over it is one of my favorite desserts. Baby cucumbers and Nutella is great. And then baked sweet potatoes with some marshmallows and graham crackers into it. Those are all my best fit girl snacks that other people judge me for, but I think they're delicious.

Okay. Love you guys. Bye. Judging you out of one of the three, which means 66% of your desserts, your fit girl desserts are doing pretty good. So there you go. The cucumber and Nutella, because one, I understand. It's the crunch. It's the crunch, but also there are more neutral vegetable flavors that have the same nutritional profile as cucumber.

What would you say would be a better vegetable or fruit, vegetable let's say, to dip in? Fennel? You know, fennel and Nutella? What are you crazy? Fennel and Nutella? Jicama, jicama. Okay, that's funny.

Jicama, I think there's something about the juiciness of the cucumbers that doesn't play. Hickama has almost the cellular makeup of like an apple. I think that's a good trade off. And it's not as spicy, it's sweet. It's not as like oniony as like a breakfast radish or whatever. I think Hickama would be great with that.

Sweet potato and marshmallow, awesome. Awesome. Sounds legit. And the tofu with condensed milk, that just like sounds like a dessert. One of my favorite desserts, it's not a proper dessert, but you go to Dim Sum and they have the steamed silken tofu in like a brown rice syrup. I haven't been to Dim Sum in maybe 15 years. Oh, dude, yeah. Condensed milk on some silken tofu, especially.

You're probably using extra firm tofu if you're a fitness mom, because that is more protein. That's right. But yeah, there's nothing wrong with that tofu. You can make like a it's so neutral tofu that you could do whatever you want With it and you could have a good time eat it hot eat it cold eat it silk and eat it firm 100% yeah the little creme brulee sweet potato Did you roast the sweet potato a hell of hard and then you put some sugar on it and just burley it and then it cracks Yeah, come on now iconic vegetables for dessert. Vegetables for dessert dude do it it's great. Vietnam has all their like jah which is like taro pudding you know sweet potato corn it's

great man red bean. Totally. Hey Josh, cool. Hey friends. Big fans. How big? I don't know if it's controversial I've've never really seen it outside of my household, but cottage cheese on potatoes. Oh, typically baked.

Oh, tell me what you think. I mean, I'll die on this hill, but let me know. I'd rather have cottage cheese than sour cream on a potato. Hey, interesting. I know, I know. I have feelings. Only if you blend it. If you don't blend it.

Huh? I knew you were going to say that. That's why I tried to say it before you. Because I knew we were going to have the same thought and I just wanted to say it before you. Yeah, no, don't tell me. Tell them, tell the people. You should blend it.

Yeah, you should blend it. We're both going to say it. Blend it. I, okay. So, so, yeah, cottage cheese, I love the flavor, but it's the curds in the wet, it's a violent contrast. The curds have the potential to ruin your day, just completely derail your day.

Do you agree with me? Absolutely, it's not a pleasant thing, and I feel weird, because I eat a lot of weird textured things, and cottage cheese is maybe something I should like. I don't. I almost never eat it. I love ricotta. Ricotta is great. Not as much protein as your American cottage cheese.

But cottage cheese does have the saltier curd component, which is why you probably like it better on potatoes than, say, a sour cream, which doesn't really have salt in it. Why isn't there a product, I'm sure there is now, of just blended cottage cheese? Just hey, we had cottage cheese, we have a giant industrial blender, we dumped it all in there and now we're selling it for a dollar more. I think it's the smartest thing to do and someone needs to do it ASAP, Rocky. Because you will see your, they probably need to rebrand it as something else. Mmm.

Silken, silken cheese. Silken cottage... Silken? You think you got to take cottage out of the name? Maybe. Silk cheese? No, because there's silk is silken cheese. Silken cod... Silken? You think you gotta take cottage out of the name? Maybe. Silk cheese? No, because there's silk is the soy cheese. They make a vegan cheese and it's already brand silk. Well, that's the brand.

Yeah, but silken... Silken cheese? Silken high protein cheese. High protein silk cheese? That's great, but yeah, pop some salt and pepper in that blended cottage cheese. Maybe even like a little parm in there. Yeah.

That's like, yeah, arguably the ideal potato topper. That sounds good. You know? I do like sour cream on a potato, too. Just like sour cream chive, a lot of salt on a potato. How do you feel about caviar on baked potatoes? I don't love it. Caviar on a potato chip is great.

I love caviar. My favorite way to eat caviar is just on like bread. Bread? Just like bread creme fraiche or some sort of like a... A blini? Eastern block sour cream. Not even a blini. Just like sourdough bread.

Oh! Like a nice rustic loaf. I just see. That's not like the crust isn't too hard. Do you like caviar on like sushi? Yeah, it's fine. I don't love caviar on sushi. I love caviar like on its own.

I've had some like good sushi caviar. I've had some like really bad caviar dishes where I'm like, we're doing this for the clout. I don't want to be here. Yeah, it's exhausting. And also caviar to me, it's best when it's just ice, ice, ice cold. It needs to be cold, yeah. So you're taking caviar and some people have even started, you dump caviar into like a beurre blanc sauce.

It cooks it. Yeah, and you like do it at the last minute, but like serve it with something. Scrambles the eggs. And you get the hot caviar. Hot caviar is not a good thing. Hot, hot roe and like hot like mentaiko or whatever. I'm down but like. Yeah, mentaiko is the Japanese cod roe.

I've had some good like hot soba with mentaiko. Yeah, I'm down with like mentaiko or tobiko. But I'm not down for like. A sturgeon caviar. A sturgeon kaluga. Which has such a briny, briny ocean flavor. Or like the salmon roe, like the fat popping situation. God, I love just a fat salmon roe.

Ikura? Ikura gunkan maki. Oh my God. The gunkan maki's little boats, like a little... Ikura ginko maki might be my favorite sushi. And that's saying something. Yeah, a little fishy popping boat though. Okay, sorry, we kind of went on a tangy tang. I'm a fraud too, also. I put caviar on my lot because it's here and that's saying something a little fishy popping boba. Okay. Sorry. We kind of went on the fraud

You also I put I put caviar on my lot because this here and that was really delight But it did at the last minute and I made sure everyone ate it very quickly But you ever do that where you cook a food that has to be eaten at a certain temperature and people are like talking and you're Like shut the hell up and eat it. Of course, of course. I did that when I made carbonara the other day I was just like every second this sits it gets worse because it congeals Absolutely, I cook this in a double boiler bill. I need you to eat it now. I know you're saying pleasantries.

We have problems and we need to address them eventually. Ultimately, we have control issues, I think. Yeah. And a little bit of low self-esteem that doesn't give us a confidence test. I have very high self-esteem. Have you seen my face? Moneymaker. We got one more.

We got one more. We got one more. We got one more. Elbow hurts. Too bad to raise my hand. Tennis ball? Wow. Josh's ex-file is really aggressive. Hey guys. It's Sam from Montana.

I am calling because I want to know, do you think it's weird to put dates in tuna salad? I grew up eating it that way. My dad always made it that way, I've gotten made fun of most of my life for it, and I wanna hear your thoughts. Okay, thanks so much, bye. I have thoughts.

Yeah. So sweet tuna salad, not very uncommon. People put apples in it all the time. Mm, is that not uncommon? Apples and tuna salad? Yeah, apples and chicken salad, sure,les and tuna, I think that changes. You've never had apples and tuna? Maybe I've had it.

Have you ever gone to Il Cemezino and gotten their tuna special number two? Absolutely not. Oh, well then me and you are completely, we're different books, different chapters, we shouldn't even be doing this anymore. All right, I'll leave. You and Sam from Montana,

can I hang out with you and date tuna salad? I call him Sam-tana. Um, um, sweet tuna salads are not a bad thing. Sometimes people put a little bit of sugar in their tuna salads. Do you not do that? Why are you looking at me like I have four heads? I think that's crazy. I've never put anything sweet in my, not even a, I guess sweet relish is popular, which

that's quite sweet, but I do like, I vastly dislike sweet relish in my tuna salad. I like a sweet chicken salad. I like a hyper savory tuna salad. This is so interesting. I like both. I find value in both. Sometimes I do a Mediterranean twist. I put some olives in there, some lemon, you know,

it's a good time. And then raisins can go in that, but that's only if there's like olives and capers and chilies. I wouldn't put raisins. So- Like a Tunisian, like a North African. I wouldn't do that.

That's a very common thing. Now I feel crazy saying- Josh, are we fighting? I think this is the biggest fight we've ever had on the show. This is ridiculous. I mean, again, like I've never, I've never been so shocked.

I want like Jordan air in my tuna salad. I don't like just fudge. Yeah. I don't- I combat the mercury taste. I really do like a really acidic tuna salad too. The dates, the texture of the date is what's making me pause.

But I do like the idea of it if it's seasoned appropriately. If it's like there's like coriander and like paprika. Think they're putting coriander in the tuna salad? Yeah. You think they are? They're putting dates in it. You think they are? Well, if you put coriander, let us know. Call back.

You don't need to call back if you don't want to. Yeah, the thing about dates, dates one you get dates with different textures Like I have a bunch of deglet dates in my hate deglet day. I hate that good day I really about the degla dates medjool medjool the king of date barry dates are fantastic You can't I've I visited a date farm recently. I love them big date guy, but Yeah, cuz another one super caramel But anyways the point is dates can be like super chewy.

But a thing that you can do this is what I do if I add raisins to something like a tuna salad from going for a North African Sicilian vibe. I will pour like red wine vinegar over the raisins and I'll microwave it for like 30 seconds and then I'll let them sit. And then the raisins kind of rehydrate. So they're not like super, super dense and chewy because also you'll have some dates, some raisins that are softer and harder than others in different points of desiccation. rehydrate so they're not like super super dense and chewy because also you'll have some dates some reasons They're softer and harder than others in different points of desiccation

So I'd say rehydrate the dates let them chill mix with the tuna salad. That's the way to go. That's that's a good Let me look at your date. Let me look at your date. Is that barry dates? What's my give it? I can't see So so cari so cari dates are my favorite of all time so Sokhari? Sorry, Sokhari dates. I don't know if it's pronounced like that. They are like utter toffee caramel surrounded by a pit. I have three dates a day. Soft Sokhari dates. I eat three midjool dates every day.

I've had Sarawi dates. They're okay. They're pretty good. Sarawi dates have this super treacly molasses flavor to them. Yum. Did you know a lot of people eat dates during Ramadan? Like because it it does something with like um, it like it doesn't retains your energy. They say like it doesn't um Spike your glucose levels, but apparently it just like replenishes you and a lot of the times whenever I open my fasts

Like for yom kippur or whatever like I have a date first Oh, yeah, I grew up eating eating dates. I think it's just kind of a dewy thing I freaking love dates. I freaking love dates. Um,, also obviously big in like Middle Eastern, Muslim world. Yeah, yeah. My, I had a Somali roommate and he, yeah, he would always eat dates during Ramadan. Dates and cucumbers. This is what like helps keep your body like cool and regulated. Totally.

I don't know man, I was like dates. But you know, teach them around. That's about it. I think we're done with the podcast. So So how you feeling after all those breakfast sandwiches? I'm gonna have to use the spit bucket again I'm gonna have to use the shit bucket all right on that note. Thank you so much for stop my hot dog sandwich I got new episodes out every Wednesday new videos out every Sunday If you want to be on opinions like cast roles hit us up at eight three three dog pod one

We love to hear your voice And if you're not completely disgusted by the way we ate, you decide you'd like to see our face and you want to see more, you can head over to the Mythical Kitchen YouTube channel. Statistically, it's where a majority of you are watching this. So thank you, stay, stay awhile.

Click through some other videos. Go back like five years and click on an old video and then tell us how much we've changed. That'd be really cool. Only if we've changed for the better. So I've gotten worse in a lot of ways. I don't like that about myself. See y'all next time.