A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Pro Chefs Rank Halloween Candy

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

Today, Josh and Nicole are going on a sugar rush as they figure out which classic Halloween candy is truly the best of them all. Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions. Apply. Learn more at mx.ca.ca slash yMex. Trick or treat. Smell my feet. Give me full-sized candy bars or else I'm going to riot. You still going to smell my feet? This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Cetchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal so wet. That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What?

Welcome to our podcast to a hot dog is a sandwich. The show we bring up some my My name's Josh Sher. And I'm the Unabomber for Halloween this year. Oh my God. Ted Kaczynski. Is that you? Yeah. Josh, I got you a Halloween costume. Are you allowed to dress as the Unabomber? You mean like for reasons? Like bad reasons? Yeah. No, like are people...

Are people going to be upset about this? Yeah, yeah. We'll start again. No, no, no. Just drop a link in the comments. No, we'll start over. If you think making a joke out of domestic terrorism. No, I think people do find it funny. Okay, fine, hold on.

Because if you, I, okay, listen, I don't know. But I look like Weirdo Yankevick? I just, if I can break the fourth wall here, I don't know if I have any personal convictions or morals anymore. I don't know if I have any thoughts. All I know is, I'd like people on the internet. Do I look like the Unabomber? Yes or no.

You look like the Unabomber. And so I don't know what's okay and not anymore, but all I know is I hear a lot more kids making 9-11 jokes. And they seem to find that very fun. So if you find, I don't know, if you find that funny, you might find the Unabomber fun. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams. That's what the kids say. Does that fit you? I'm a mouse. Duh. We're talking all of, I really, I don't.

Happy Halloween for all the viewers out there. I fully don't understand where culture is gone. I'm simply so, so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so frightened of what's going on. I don't know. Everything's a reaction to a reaction to a reaction. a reaction, and it's just moving so fast, and I don't know what you find okay anymore. You know what I find okay is eating candy. Can you just possess a single iota of chill? I'm just saying I don't understand this disparate cultural mechanism and where it's going. It's just a boulder rolling downhill, just catching more and more snow on it the closer it gets to the base, and I feel like it's about to roll over us, and we're eating nerds today. So we're going to be ranking Halloween candies today.

And I used to love trick-or-treating. I was a big trick-or-treater. I would go to all the cool neighborhoods. I would love to just gallivant around and wear silly costumes with my friends. I would never wreak havoc, though. There was only treats. Never tricks. Never once did I do tricks.

Only treats. Yeah. I never did the toilet paper thing. I never egged someone's house. There used to be a street actually called Walden where kids would throw shaving cream at each other on Walden. and then one year someone put nair in the shaving cream and kids hair fell out so that's a trick now that's a trick i can get behind so that's the kind of environment i grew up in except i never went to wolden only one year i think i went um so yeah what about you do you

like trick-or-treating i have fun memories of trick-or-treating you do okay good good ones good fair ones okay good good ones this is happy josh childhood memory Yes. I gallivance around with my friends. I'd, you know, couldn't afford expensive costumes or nothing, but we'd make do. Were you a pillowcase kid or were you a pale kid? A pillowcase kid. Okay, I had a pillowcase kid. I had a literal jack-o-lantern pale. We go around and nothing bad or sad ever happened to me on Halloween. Are you being serious? Yeah, I'm being serious. I just had a nice time collecting candy and then I'd come home and I'd like unload all the candy onto like, you know, the studio apartment floor that we shared. dad's like girlfriend's like drug dealer son who's living with us sometimes he'd eat a lot of our candy

but that's just because he was high oh and that was fine he was cool you can't blame him you can't we played video games with him man you can't blame him for that he was pretty rad dude okay we played like tony hawk yeah play tony hawk one and two okay yeah good oh superman damn damn did you have a um a favorite Halloween candy that you would like hoard or like really hope you would get so when I was a kid I'll tell you what what's up love nerds? I loved I loved, loved sour candies when I was a kid.

And that included a lot of different things. Smarties. You like Smarties? I loved smarties. The just sour chalk. Sour discs of chalk were my favorite things. There was one candy that stood above all else and I've tried them recently as an adult. We do not have them represented here. That's fine.

It was chewy sweet tarts. Oh, you like those? Oh my God. I hated chewy sweet tarts. Kind of suck on them a little bit until they start to get of way, get nice and tender and heated from your mouth juices. Hated it. Chew through the tart. That was a great time. So I think there's three schools of candy

that are available for Halloween candies. You got your chocolate based. You got your fruity base and then you got your downright disgusting base. Interesting. Where do you put the downright disgusting? So things like circus peanuts and Neko Wafers. Circus peanuts are my favorite.

I almost never got them for Halloween. But I think my dad would steal them from the 99 cent store that he worked out sometimes. They have a lot of circus Penes at the 99 cents store. It's almost the only market left for circus peanuts are 99 cents stores. Literally yes. Sometimes they are in the what's it called like the the sponge aisle because they might as well be used as a sponge. Yeah so like the like the chico sticks and like I love a chico stick as well

A chico stick is disgusting candies. So a chico stick is the peanut butter halva that is inside of a butterfinger. Cowtails is another one cowtails. Love those too. Oh yo job. It's the It's just the butterfinger insides, but slightly harder in a stick and rolled in toasted coconut. As somebody who doesn't really like love chocolate, I love all of the meats of the candy bars, but without the chocolate, which is why I love payday. I also love a payday. When would you get payday? You'd never get a payday.

I would get some, I would get many paydays. What? I would get many paydays in Halloween. We have such different, like. We were in the apotheosis. We're in the zenith of payday culture in America. When we were, it was paydays and baby Ruths, and baby Ruths are basically just a chocolate-covered payday, even though now payday does make a chocolate-covered payday, which I am interested in trying just to say that I don't like it as much. I like us in costumes.

I feel like we're more vulnerable and open. I think that every day of the year, except for Halloween, is really when we're wearing a costume. You know? I literally love Halloween so much. It's truly my favorite holiday. and I think we should oh hey Nicole what's your favorite Josh oh I didn't ask you that you should ask me okay hey Nicole what's your favorite

if I could have a favorite I would always like the different kinds of Reese why are you giggling all the different kinds of thank you all the kinds of Reese's would be really nice but my favorite was always the Reese's mini peanut buttercups with the gold lining that was the ones that are kind of taller than they are why I like them taller than what more. I like them more tall than I do wide.

I think before we even get into any... Hold on. Can I tell you my favorites? Yes. I have three favorites. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you came prepared. Nicole, you have the floor? It is your time. I would always like that. I love the crackles. You know, you know the Hershey Crackles? Hershey Crackles? Yes, I know them.

And then also I love Whoppers. Woppers is my favorite. What do you love about Woppers most? I think it's the malt. It's the malt. It's the malt. It's the mall. Can I just ask? No, you were going to ask first.

Go ahead. You're going to ask a question. What do you like about Woppers most? I think they're so delicious. Like malt teasers and Woppers, malted milk balls are undisputed goat, and if you call us old geriatric people, you're wrong.

I think we were always on the outside looking in, even as children, as fans of Woppers. You know what I mean? We were all as a bit on the fringes of society by like this. I didn't have any peers that also loved Whoppers. It's not like a generational thing where, like, Neko Wafers were the only candy to exist and it was the Great Depression.

No, we were living in a really, really good advanced candy time, and yet you and I still chose Woppers. Why? Why are we like this? Can I eat them? I've been staring at them. Yeah, sure. So this is my official vote for the greatest Halloween candy of all time. And I think, from a chef's perspective, Nicole,

I think it's the malt. Malt is such a delightful flavor. It's got this almost like savory kind of grain-like quality that just makes the sweet more palatable. Almost makes the sweet taste sweeter. Yeah, I agree. It makes the chocolate more yummy. Oh, my God. We can't open it.

We're very weak. Our tiny childlike hands. Here, you have two. I have one. No, I want one only. Okay, I want two. Oh. Oh, my God.

And it's also really salty Yeah That's what it is Maybe that's what it is Maybe we like the salt of it all It's the salt in the malt The salt of the malt That's what they should

Wopper It's rebrand Salt of the Malt You'd make millions of dollars Do you think we could get a sponsorship From Wopper Because I feel like I have ideas On how to make it better

The Burger King or the candy The candy Not the Burger King I'm gonna give that a solid 9 It's a 10 out of 10 This is the best tasting thing I have ever put in my entire mouth I want to blend that into a milkshake and then add more malt powder and more salt.

I love, one time I made a cake, it was a wopper cake. It was a malted milk chocolate cake with malted milk frosting, and I put whoppers all around the side of it. Yeah, where else you put whoppers in that cake? Come on, talk me about the wopper cake. So I said I'm the Yudabon, where you said you're the mouth? I'm a mouse, wait. You just look like a Disney adult. So, Minnie, oh, I'm not a mouse.

You're Disney adult. I guess I'm a person named Minnie who went to Disney, but this is kind of like a yassified. Do you know who Minnie Mouse is? Minnie Mouse is either Mickey's wife or sister. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Have they consummated?

I mean, I don't know. They've been together for like a hundred years ago. And he hasn't committed? I don't know. Does Minnie know about Mickey's racist past? I'm sure she's, I think she was there from the jump. Oh, really? Yeah.

It's a real American History X situation. She was the Farruza Balc. The same reason you and I love Whoppers is the same reason we love Fyruza Bulk. Because of American History X. Not because of that. Also, it's, yeah, take the right message from that movie. Edward Furlong, incredible role. I like the other Edward.

I like Edward Norton more. I like both Edwards. Skittles? Skittles. Okay, on the split between sour fruity candies and chocolate and num-num-num candies, Where do you end up? Chaco num-n-n-n-n-n-num. Chaco-n-n-n-n-n-cdum.

She likes some chaco-nom-n-n-n-n-caddy over here. I see that. I love chocolate. Even, like, crappy chocolate. Apparently, Skittles are the worst thing on the planet for you, other than, like, drugs. Did you know that? It goes, like, heroin, crack cocaine. This is a child.

This is a family show. But it's right after, like, right after hallucinogens you get to Skittles. Skittles are pretty, they don't taste good anymore. I disagree. I think it's fantastic. I think the texture of a skittal is beautiful. I thought this was a giant malformed skittal. On the pretty candies.

I think you almost have to group them differently. It's like, this is like going out for Mexican food and Thai food. Okay. You know what I mean? You can't rank those two dishes together. I have my favorite Mexican dishes. I have my favorite Thai dishes. That's why I said there's three kinds of Halloween candies.

You know, you're correct. I didn't mean to pass my idea off as yours. I was merely trying to verify that I agree with what you said. The Unabomber is upset with the way that you're conducting yourself. And we know what happens When the Unimamers upset So where do you rank Skittles Against the other sour candies

Was this your favorite sour candy? No, this was not my favorite sour candy I would always go for it. It's okay, you can make mistakes here It's okay You're not gonna get in trouble here I feel psychologically safe, thank you This is my favorite podcast

We've done in like, what, five years? Yeah, 250 episodes This was the best Skittles are my favorite I think they're too chewy and I think I like gummy candy

gummy fruity candy instead of chewy fruity like I love Starbursts but Skittles are too chewy You ever like look at a candy that you've known for so long and you go

What is it? Is that you with Skittles? Like a starburst It is Taffy, right? We know that to be Taffy but it's we don't think of Starbursts because it's just a starburst

it's a little square with paper on it and you know what is a skill It's just candy. It's candy coated in more candy. Yeah, I guess it is. It's candy within candy. You know what I mean? It's not a gummy. It's not a jelly. It's not a taffy. I think it might be a taffy.

Is it a taffy covered in a hard candy? It's an air-dry taffy. It might be there's a strange translucence to the inside of a skittal. Right. I think it's taffy. Or some sort of glucose sugar, fructose base. But you know what I mean where there's no dominant noun. Like a peanut butter cup became its own... became its own noun.

It became its own, like, form. You know, a candy bar. That is its own thing. Or Skittles. And no one's really tried to copy Skittles, have they? I don't know. I've never seen it. All I know is Skittles.

Peanut M&Ms, what do you give? Oh, what do you give Skittles? I give Skittles a five. Skittles is a decent candy. I've always enjoyed Skittles, tasting your rainbow. Right. Okay. Peanut M&Ms?

Peanut M&Ms, I think, are really good. I think they're near the top of the M&M food chain. I'd say pretzel Eminems and crispy Eminems. Wow. Up there, but really, I do think peanut Eminems are fantastic. I'm giving it a solid, like, 9 out of 10. They're, like, kind of my old standby. They're delicious.

But if you have allergy, if, listen, maybe don't give out peanut-based candies. I love nerds. You do? Salivary glands on overdrive right now. When's the last time you had nerds? Years. It's so good. There's so many times.

Do you remember when I had a meltdown in the podcast because I haven't had hot chocolate in like five years? What happened? I had a little meltdown on the podcast because I hadn't had a hot chocolate in like five years. No, I don't remember that. When was the last time you would have had hot chocolate as an adult? And then I started to really grieve my childhood. When was this? No, I don't remember this at all.

Apparently it's stuck to me. I'm sorry. That's so sad. Similar with nerds. Nerds are great. I love the fun way you can eat them. You can just tilt your head back and take a swing of nerds. You know what nerds are?

They're the Dorito crumbs of candy. Yes, yes. The whole bag is just the crumbs. It's just crumbs. These feel like they fell off of a larger candy. Like a nerds gummy cluster, if you will. Well, yeah, but the nerds gummy clusters came well after the nerds. Yes, they did, but I have some right there.

And I think we need to determine which is better. A nerds gummy cluster or nerds nude. Now my... Open it! I'm trying. I have fat fingers and they're greasy. You don't have fat fingers. I don't.

but they're not very tactile. Oh, I haven't had a nerds gummy cluster in a while. This makes me feel like there's in them. Do you also feel that way? A little bit, yeah. I think I just have a stress reaction, you know. I feel like nerds roped came before nerds clusters. But boy, am I glad?

Is that track with anyone, Maggie? What? Meggie, what are you dressed out? An bus speed employee. You're dressed as somebody about to make a wide shirt. You're dressed as somebody about to make a why I left BuzzFeed video. Yeah, exactly. That's good.

I'll tell you what I don't love about the nerds clusters. Check this out. Check this out. We're doing hard-hitting journalism here. I'm sorry you used to do hard-hurning journalism and now you have to do this. I'm pouring out, yeah, what are you going to do? Pouring out the nerds on the table. The average size of a nerd is about three, four times the size of the average nerd on the clusters.

Can we get a zoom in on this, Maggie? Can we get a zoom? I'm going to zoom in on this small pile of trash. It's okay. It's okay. Now, Nicole's taking a picture. It's okay. It's fine, yeah, go ahead.

Do it for scale. Now, if you can see the average size of a nude nerd, it's about three, four times the size of the nerd on the nerds coming clusters. Right, right. The thing you love about the nerds, the crunch. I like the versatility of a nerd. Like, whenever you crunch into a swig of nerds, you never really know what size you're going to get. And maybe, you know, it might get stuck in your teeth,

it might get stuff in your molar. You never really know. But with a, I'm sorry, I'm going to stop recording now. With the gummy cluster, it's two uniform. They're delicious, but they're too uniform. I'm going to give the nerds gummy clusters a six. I'm going to give the nerds in the box. I'm going to give them a 9.8.

Yeah, I'm going to give the nerds in a box in 9.3. Nerds gummy clusters, 7.8. Still very good candy. What are we eating now? You can choose. I want a chocolate. Okay, pick whatever chocolate you want. No, I want sweet tarts.

Okay, I'm sorry, I saw the sweet tarts you want. That's okay. They also had a sour version of them called shock tarts. I like shock tarts. Oh. You know what the best candies was? What? They don't taste good, but for some reason they were excited.

Can I guess? Can I guess? They don't taste good, but they... But it was exciting to get them. Oh, a warhead? No. Okay. Was it like a saltwater taffy?

No. It had the texture of sweet tarts. Oh, I'm going to guess one more time. A good and plenty. Those don't have... No. No. No.

No. No, no, no. Bottle caps. Oh, I hate it. They were sweet tarts, but they were tasted like sodas, but bad. I hate a bottle cup. Again, you like those little nickel lips or whatever? Nickel nips.

I love the nickel nips. It was wax that you chewed on with a goo in it. Gross. And then, Nicole, when you chewed all the goo out of the wax, you still got to keep the wax in your mouth. These are hazardous. The flavor of bottle caps, where if they were like, hey, have you heard of root beer? And you're like, yeah. They're like, oh, crap.

Well, we tried. And then handed you a root beer-flavored chalk. I'm not a big fan of bottle caps. I'm not a big fan of these, and I'm not a big fan of those nickel nips. Nickel nips. Nickel nips. Or the wax lips?

The wax lips were always weird for me. Wax lips weren't good. Here's the thing. I love chalk. I love eating chalk. Yeah. You ever have delorosa massapun? Yeah, I like mazapan.

That's peanut chalk. I like peanut chalk. I don't like this. You don't like the sour chock? It went down my tube the wrong way. I think Tom. Tums kind of ruined. I love tums.

I've eaten more tums as an adult than sweet tarts. Yeah, me too. And they have really the same texture. They do. I agree. I've been eating a lot of tums recently. Let me tell you, I would much rather eat a tums than a sweet tart. So now eating a sweet tart, I'm kind of just like, oh, they've made slight improvements to Tums.

Literally, yes. We should just be giving out tums for Halloween. How do you feel about getting raisins or, like, floss or, like, things, or apples? I loved it. I loved it. I love raisins. I love raisins, too. Never not liked raisins.

If we were not one as a kid, I liked raisins. People were like, ew, raisins. up, kid. Same. It's just a lovely little treat. How do you feel about milk duds? Hate them. Oh, don't need it.

Too hard. Don't need it. Too hard. It's going to destroy my teeth. Wait. That's bad. I'm sorry if you can hear me chewing. I'm sparing it out.

Too hard. Gonna rip out a filling. Here's the thing. I don't think milk duds are worse sugar babies. Yeah, you like sugar babies? Sugar babies are better milk duds. I've never enjoyed a milk duds. People who put milk duds in their popcorn

I think are foolhardy. I'd rather put a bunch of crunch in my popcorn. I'd rather put I than I think that's a great popcorn choice. Thank you. Fall is the perfect season to invest in yourself. And what better way than learning a new language? Whether you're planning a trip, craving a new challenge, or just looking to make the most of cozy nights in,

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Go to Rosettastone.com slash hot dog and start learning today. What's up, guys? It's Candace Dillard Bassett, former Real Housewife of Potomac. And I'm Michael Arsino, author of The New York Times. bestseller, I Can't Date Jesus, and this is Undomesticated. The podcast, where we aren't just saying the quiet parts out loud, we're putting it all on the kitchen table and inviting you to the function. If you're ready for some bold takes and a little bit of chaos, welcome to Undomesticated.

Follow and listen to Undomesticated, available wherever you get your podcasts. Can you read the joke on the Lafie Taffee for me, please? Yes. Okay. I'm having so much fun today I went and I got my first chili burger from Tommy Oh how was it? It was good

You brought fries back for Annalise? I did I ate a bite of them Yeah, all right Sorry? Yeah, you did There's the chili Where's the joke? Where's the joke? There's no joke on your Laffy Taffy Oh, sorry

How does the beach greet you? With a wave No, with waves What do you mean? The beach greets you with waves is the answer. I said with a wave. Yeah, the judge will not accept that. The correct written answer is with waves, plural.

So, they give you two now. Okay, I'm ready for the other one? Why was the gift late to the party? Because it wasn't in the present. No. It was all wrapped up. Oh, man. It's a double entendre, you see.

I like mine better. I actually, yeah, yours really did work. Lafie taffy. I would have. Laffy daffy called me. I can write jokes for you. How do you like banana? How do you like banana taffy?

Smells like Arco gasoline. Let's rip it together. Banana Lafey Taffy smells exactly like the gasoline at Arco AMPMs. Oh, it's so good. I love it. Oh my God. Why are we the most disgusting humans on earth? People are like, I like Clicks fires.

Huh? Here's the thing. What are the thing? Here's the thing the adult man with banana laffy taffy in his mouth says. And a mini mouse hat. I just want new experiences. I want to be titillated. I want to be, you know, I want to be aroused in certain ways.

There's nothing more arousing than a banana laughy tap. So arousaling. It's like there's pheromones, just like rising up to your nose right now. It's almost wrong. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? There's something off about it. You know when people, you've heard the thing that, well, the reason artificial banana extract doesn't taste like bananas is because the cabin dish

bananas is the only banana species now and it was actually modeled after the, what is it, the Michelle Grove banana. That doesn't exist. I'm like, no, it doesn't taste like it because none of the fruit extracts tastes like the fruit. Do you ever have a watermelon extract? There's nothing like a water mountain.

It's just bad. What do you rate a banana laugh at Faffee out of ten? Five out of ten. I give it an eight just for the intensity. 8.0. Now, this is the ones we would always fight over Twix. It's a perfect candy

This might be a 10 out of 10 for me Wow Twix to me Wow I've always loved Twix again Wow Like Woppers were like the fun treat Especially for me

For me The Wopers were for me But Twix I don't know that you can beat Twix I think it might be number one That's so damn good Oh I act like I've never had it before

But like It's so good Man It's better than Snickers Significant I think because of the crisp The cookie sells it The cookie really sells it. Because what is, I feel like there's, there's a bit of an over-reliance on Newgett and

candy bars sometimes. I don't like Newgett. I don't need Newgett. And I, I love, like, I don't think there's a damn bad candy bar out there. Like, someone throws me at Three Musketeers, I'm stoked. I love Three Musketeers. It was just a uniform texture. The texture of their Nougat, yeah, it's great. A Milky Way is great. A hundred grand bar is great. Oh, I love, you know who loves 100 grands? Uh, Trevor's mom. I'll always remember that fact. Interesting. Trevor one time told me that my mom loves a hundred grand, and I said, yep, I'm always can remember that. I always love watching McCullets. Yeah? I don't like

Watcha McCollets. They're all kind of the same. They're all like 80% the same DNA. You know what I mean? Yeah. But there's something special to me about Twix because of the crispness of that cookie, the soft texture of the caramel. It's very simple. I think Twix is probably Number one. Number one. More than Woppers. I agree.

I agree. Well, Rees could I've only started enjoying Reeses now that I'm older. Rees has that salt. I didn't love it when I was a kid. I think because I wasn't mature enough to realize that the peanut butter inside of Reese's is not meant to taste like normal peanut butter. Oh, it's so good. Oh, it's so good. Tricks is better.

Mm. What if, though, you had a cookie bottom with that crumbly, salty peanut butter top. Yeah, that would be great, but we don't have that right now. We don't have that. Has Reese's not made that? A cookie bottom? The cookie bottom greases? They did a PB&J bottom.

The PB&J bottom, I thought was not great. Rees, do a cookie bottom. The Unabombers I think they've done it with like cookie bits inside But I want a cool cookie bottom I want a ritz No no no I want a ritz at the bottom Oh my god

Oh my god we could You know what the crazy thing is Nicole What You and I are a pretty talented cooks you'd agree Yeah Wouldn't be too hard to make that ourselves No Are you ever gonna do it?

I don't really know if I have the capacity Or desire to want it I just want to talk about it Yeah same I want to see them make it for me I don't want to make it myself I kind of want to make it I kind of want to pick a day

and make it and I'll bring it to you Honestly, if you're What's your last day? It's coming up Oh It's coming up It's not for a while

It's around It's happening Yeah You're gonna, I'm gonna leave this place For a little bit It's gonna be sad But we don't need to talk about that right now Because I'm gonna get emotional about it

Don't get emotional about it Don't well I'm no you're allowed to No show your motion I've cried I've cried many times I cry and a chow Dada walk away and a Time bow

I don't hide it It's clear My work doubles And you are not there Makes great Come on the show

What are we eating Trolley sour I don't want to eat these These are a four No more Yeah No more Four

I don't need gummy candies In my life My tummy's I'm starting to get the gurgles I've eaten so many of these That for some reason I get anxiety looking at them What's your favorite color

combination It honestly matters Oh it's the green and orange You liked the green and orange I liked The pink and orange pink and yellow. Trolley makes the best gummings, I believe.

They're gummy eggs. Oh, my teeth. I'm suffering. Yeah. That's a lot. We also have Kit Kat Snickers, Crunch, and Starbursts. Do you want to eat those? If you eat the Starburst on account,

I think it will pull out a tooth. But I will say I did love Starburst. Okay, I'm going to guess what color is in here. I'm going to guess it's an orange and a red. Let's see. Oh, I was so close. What do you rate the trolley, sour bright crawlers? Four.

They're a good gummy. I like chocolate more than I like hummies. Kit Kat. Kit Kat, I love the international flavors. The salt-flavored Kit Kat from Japan. Give me a break. Give me a break. Break you off a piece of that.

Chrysler car. I'm overheating and I have a sugar high. And I have to peeveeep really bad because both of the bathrooms were taken. Overheating sugar high. Overheating sugar. You're funny I think you're funny I find you a delightful charming person

Can I eat this little cigar tip end Your Kit Kit? I find you very funny I love Kit Katz I'm gonna give them a six Kid Katz I'll give like an 8 point An 8.4 You're too generous

It's great Wheel it in Give me a break I love that The Intra-Costal layers Uh huh Are blended Kit Katz Is that right?

Yeah it's It's like blended old Kit Kat Cats. It's like how Wendy's makes their chili with old burgers. Exactly. Incredible. But she can't hold a candle to Twix. No, the Twix is the epitome of Halloween candy. I agree.

It's what's, who's a, oh, it's a Michael Jordan. It's the Michael Jordan of Halloween candy. It is the epitome of Hyperbole. It's the epitome of hyperbole. Is that what you're trying to say? Yes. Okay. I need popcorn with that.

You always mispronounce, Well, that is just the epitome of hyperbowl. There's a joke in there somewhere. My favorite Brian Regan joke. For a sip of water in about five hours. Pretty good. Nestle Crunch versus Hershey Crackle. Who wins? Crackle!

Bullshit! Can I tell you why? Get the fuck out of here. Can I tell you why? Thicker. It's thicker. It's taller. I like Nestle because they steal water. I think Nestle Crunch had a deal with like Bart Simpson when I was growing up. I thought that was Butterfingers. It was Butterfinger, right.

Who did Crunch had? No, Nestle Crunch had someone, though. They did a bunch of, like, basketball-themed things. Hey, you're not you when you're hungry. You're right. I should grab the Snickers after we've been eating all this candy. Snickers, to me, was always the standard bearer of candy bars. Thank you for silkworming my...

Absolutely. My Snickers. Okay. I didn't appreciate it as much when I was a kid. But now that I've gotten older, I'm like, I understand how Snickers is kind of the perfect candy bar. Mm-hmm. Okay. When you have a kid?

You're going to have them eat all their candy? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I mean, as opposed to kind of like ration it out. Uh-huh. Say like, oh, you can have like a bunch in your lunch box. Like every few days, you can have three pieces. What's your plan of attack for Halloween candy?

I'm farther away from thinking about it than you. So I haven't put any thought into it. I've been thinking about it for years. There's the, you know, it seems bad to restrict your kid and what they eat as opposed to giving them the tools to understand. Agreed. I'm going to start cleaning up, Meggy, okay? We're still listening.

But I think... What's up? I'm listening. But I think, like, there is just... There's just a genetic component to people who were, like, very food-driven. Yeah. You know? I hear that.

No matter how many tools I was given to say, like, hey, moderation, good, blah, blah, blah. Like, no, dude, there was nothing that would stop me from just, like, binging on candy until it stopped tasting good. Yeah, until you would, like, throw up. Yeah, yeah. And you would vomit, like, a Skittles and... But, like, do I really need to, like, restrict a kid, or can I say, like, hey, dude, binge on candy, it's a fun time? And then, you know what?

You know what? And this is why we live and exist, or to enjoy the fun times like this when we can do that. You know what I mean? I'll say this. And then back to the grind tomorrow. You're going to be a shot put champion. I'll say this.

I love nerds, and I love Twix. And Whoppers gets an honorable mention from me. Any surprises from this? Um, I think I'm going to be sick. I think I go officially, official ranking. Go ahead. Twix one, Woppers 2, and we know this is a bad dick. Nerds 3.

So we have the same lineup. Oh, did you just say that? Yes. Are you okay? Didn't even listen to her. Well, it's the uterbomber, and. a Disney adult. Checking out. I hope you guys have a safe Halloween. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs with

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Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Now we're going to see where you all had to say, and that's why we do a segment that we like to call. Opinions. Hot Dog is the standard. Let's hear that first hot dog, making you. Come on, hot doggers. Hi. My name is Vic, and I am a trans-masculine person who's married to a trans woman.

I just watched your episode with Amanda Leant Cantow about pregnancy craving. You're talking about trans women craving pickles. Let's get to the bottom of this. And what do trans men crave? Well, first of all, my wife and I both love pickles are very into that. But as a trans masculine person, when I am taking testosterone, I crave red meat. Oh, wow. And it's not something that I crave all the time outside of, like, when I'm not on my hormones.

Uh-huh. It's not always a thing. But when I'm, when I decide to be on testosterone, it's always, like, like, I need steak, I need burgers, I need beef constantly. So you asked, that's just what I think. Love the pod, bye. That's the most alpha shit ever day. When I have more testosterone, when I'm on tea, I want more meat.

That makes a lot of sense. That is actually really cool. And we actually got a fair amount of comments from trans women that were talking about the link to the use of, is it spironalactone? Spirnalactone. Spirnalactone. Uh-huh. It, um, it gets, it takes away, I guess, or manages your testosterone or androgen levels.

I was on spirolactone for a while. You're on spirinalactone? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did it make you crave pickles? No. Oh, funny. It didn't make me crave pickles, and it didn't make me want anything with a lot of sodium or anything.

I mean, I eat a pickle a day naturally. I've always been a pickle fan since before spirnalactone. When you said I eat a pickle a day naturally, you said it as if it's like, well, the iguana's natural prey tends to be the common house fly. Stop! I eat a pickle every day for probiotic reasons and it makes me feel good.

But I haven't linked it to my former spyrnalactone usage. Pickles are a part of your natural habitat as you see wandering outside a door. Yeah. So I don't know. When I was a spirolactone, I didn't notice my diet change necessarily.

But I do like pickles. So I don't know. Listen, I like pickles and I do. Actually, no, I feel like I don't like red meat as much. Do you think, wait, hear me out, as a naturally low T male, as your classic beta cuck soy boy over here. Yeah, the beta is. The beta is. No, like, I have actually gotten my testosterone levels check, and I know there's a lot of different factors that go in. Uh-huh. I didn't do it for any reason. My doctor definitely thought that I watched too much Joe Rogan was going to ask her to be on supplemental tea. But I was really just curious. It was like, in like the low 300s, which is like in the normal range. Are you in the normal spectrum of testosterone?

I'm in the normal spectrum, but it's like, you know, on the lower end of that spectrum. Okay. I don't think I exhibit a lot of, like, traditional masculine tendencies in certain ways. I don't crave red meat, almost ever. Okay. All I want to eat are delicious chickpea curries and chutneys. Yeah. But I wonder if there could be a link to, like, you know, not just taking supplemental testosterone, but just literally people with higher tea levels craving red meat.

Well, I have higher testosterone levels and I love red testosterone. meat. Like, you love more red meat than I do. I do. Wow. I do. Sometimes I think that our brains are all kind of just computers and predestined to be at the whims of our hormonal desires and that free will doesn't exist. And we're all passengers on the spaceship earth, just careening wherever it goes. We're on the firefly, Maggie. Consciousness is an illusion. Hi, Josh. Hi, Nicole. This is Amy from the Philly area. Go birds. Caperal opinion is that simply eating the pizza crust

after finishing your pizza is boring and you should dip it in soda instead. It's like a little dessert after your pizza. My soda of choice is fruit beer. You should try it. Okay. Should I? Hear me out. I feel like this is just a trick, like this is a Joey Chestnut trick.

Yeah, just to get it down quicker. faster. I was eating a plain hot dog the other day on camera. No bun? No, sorry, it was a hot dog in a bun with no condiments and there was just a glass of water in front of me and I just really wanted to dunk it just to moisten it. I get it. Yeah. I agree with you on viewing your pizza crust as an opportunity. I think that's incredibly smart. However, what you've done with that opportunity is where I would maybe take issue with or at least suggest some alternatives. I'm going to dip it in soda water. Plain soda water. Plain. As opposed to root beer. I would much take root beer over the plain soda water. Okay. What I think you should do,

you get some ice cream. You dip it in the root beer, you let that ice cream get kind of melty. You dip in the root beer to soak it almost like the way that you would soak a lady finger in espresso or liquor for Tirmisu. Soak that in the root beer,

kind of open it up and then fill that with ice cream. You got a nice little like savory root beer float kind of ice cream sandwich. Sounds terrible. Never doing that. Or you just dip it in ranch. I would just read it.

dip it in ranch. I love Rupier though. That was a great opinion. I love Rupier too, but I'm not going to do that. Weird opinion, but, so I used to stay with my buddy back in the day when I was younger, and as Ma used to make this weird deli meat kind of savory dish thing. So what she did is she had bologna, and then they put peanut butter in it and rolled it up. Or you just fry the bologna and then put peanut butter and roll it up.

I always thought this was disgusting, sounded nasty, tried it, fell in love with it. Now it's a pre-workout snack. And yeah, no one else will try it for me. But give it a try. Sounds terrible. It's amazing. Love you guys. Keep killing it.

Love you too, ma'am. Let me tell you, man, there is some precedent for this. Looks like there's a few recipes on the web about it. So you're not alone. What if I told you that we did a struggle meals episode on Mythical Kitchen's YouTube channel where we cooked your favorite struggle meals and one of them was a grilled bologna and peanut butter sandwich. Okay, how was it? I really loved it. What it really needed, though, I thought was jelly. I thought a little bit of jelly in there would be really nice. Like grape

jelly. Almost like a P.B. and J. with bacon in it, but like the bologna was kind of more pleasant than bacon because it didn't have that kind of like obstructive chew. Right. You know, the bologna almost has the same texture as peanut butter? I can see that. You know? But when you fry, it doesn't change a little bit? A little bit, but then it just kind of gets like a little bit, kind of caramelized and hot starts to melt the peanut butter. I was actually really surprised at how good it was. We didn't have jelly and so Tony handed me a bottle of strawberry syrup. Oh my

God. I love his own genuity. Yeah, that was not good though. But you were saying? Nothing. All right. So, oh hi, my name's Jen by the way. Oh, hi. I just I got these Nature Valley chewy granola bars and they were s'mores and they look really, really good. And I've never

bought the chewy ones but it seems like a sliver of granola bar in a wrapper and I think it would be more cost effective and better if they just sold granola bars in a sheet and then you could cut out how much granola

bar you wanted because this seems like a lot of plastic for very little granola bar but I feel like this is something Josh already does hear me out I used to hear me out why don't hear me out you're going to make your own granola bars and you're going to do that

and you're not, but can't you buy a big am I making it up that you can buy a big granola bar somewhere? I'm sure there's like a novelty somewhere. You can buy it like giant Snickers bars. They have like duty-free shops. I just love the idea of walking into like

a grocery store and just seeing this giant egis, this giant shield of granola bar that you can just shuck in your cart. I used to do this with protein bars. I would make my own protein bars and I would make them Egg bars? No, no, sorry.

Not the scrambled egg protein bars. I would actually make them with like weight protein, almond flour. Oh, yum. It's just so, it's so much work. And it's so annoying. And it's just not even like, it's not worth it at all. Yeah, I used to do that.

I used to just put them in giant, you know, hotel pans. And then you just, you know, take like a paint chipper and kind of just carve off a little nug. I love that idea that. You ever go into a Mexican grocery store and they have the chichiorones that are just in a giant sheet? Yes. And it'll just put it in a bag and sell it. to you? That's what she wants with granola bars and I think she should have that. Just make her own.

If you have the time, energy, money vibe, just do it. I think you had a great idea. Also, I find the Nature Valley chewy granola bars to be really delicious. I love chewy bars. The sweet and salty nut one from Nature Valley. Oh my God. That little peanut butter bottom? That could challenge... Peanut butter bottom? For the

best Halloween candy. Oh my gosh. It tastes like a payday. Tastes like a payday. Bannola bars are just candy bars. We got to understand this. We got to understand this. We've got to understand this. The grain and granola is grain. That's what the Twix cookies made. Graniola.

Granola. Granola. Granola. I've gone insane. I've had so much sugar coursing through my body. Next, Maggie, next. Hi. My name is Percy, and I'm from Kansas City, Canvas. And I was making butter chicken.

It's a recipe I've made a lot, but it was just, like, from the Internet or something. and I didn't have any tomato paste which is called through the recipe so I just used Campbell's condensed tomato soup and I figured like there's probably some sort of cream, sugar, salt, tomatoes so I figured it would work

but like I'm not sure if that was like sacrilegious no nothing around here sacrilegious you know if you listen you what you did you know what you did you did the instacart man method whenever a man is my instacart driver you know what he does he substitutes it with something I wouldn't consider but I mean am I glad it's in my pantry yes

it's like oh I really want to buy I really want like a aloeuvre drink there's no aloeuvre drinks he goes aloeira soap I'm like you know what screw it sure so you just did the instacart man method of tomato paste substitution It still worked and it's still fine But it's not the best

It's not the best Josh Do people not know that the original recipe for chicken Tika masala was literally made with a can of condensed I did not know that Yeah dude it's straight up like Yeah I just double checked it That's incredible

Yeah what is his name It's a Pakistani Scottish chef at a restaurant called Shish Mahal Yeah literally Tika Masala was just invented with cans of condensed soup And then those recipes were rewritten to be like, okay, but what if we made this fresh? So, yeah, you sort of unknowingly made not necessarily butter chicken or margamakni, but chicken ticamassala, the authentic way. Good for you. You are a bastion of culture, and you should be rewarded.

Congratulations. Sorry for calling you an Instacart, man. What is the weirdest Instagram substitution you ever got? I just gave it to you. I missed it. Okay, well, I'm not going to say. sometimes have listening issues. It's fine.

You're just going to miss out all my really great stories. Rats. I love good stories. You're a mouse, not a rat. Yeah. All right. Is that it, Maggie?

Yeah. It's a rumor. Okay, the chicken, Tick, Missal. It's not a rumor. The guy who claims who have invented it claims he used soup.

But nobody really knows who invented nothing. It's like the French dip debate. What? Oh, sorry. Do we stop the podcast now? And the conversation. I think the hat made me

go a little insane this episode. I think the hat made me go a little crazy. Really? I've never felt more like my true self. Yeah, that makes sense man. Well, hey, thank you so much for stopping by a hot dog. It's the same. It'll be more normal next time. Give me the hat. Give me the hat. Oh, God. Unabombers found his next target. We'll be back around town.

I'm going to Orlando. Next week, Wednesdays is where we do podcasts, I guess. Sundays are also. People are going to think we are so effed up on stuff. We're available. On we think we're tuted and zooted? We're certainly not. I've never done pot at work.

Um, I don't even, I don't even do pot anymore because I just get scared. If you want to be featured in, this is a family focused pod. It's like legal everywhere now. It's legal everywhere now. Okay, fine. But you know, if there's a little seven-year kid that says, my mom doesn't let me listen to the podcast anymore, because you guys talked about marijuana.

That's on you. That's on you, Josh Daniel Scherer. No one does that anymore. If you want to be featured on opinions like cast rolls, hit us up. 833 podcast one. The number again, because I misspoke, is 833 Dog Pod 1. Go to 833.3. Did I look like Justin Bieber?

Hot Dog 1. You look exactly like Justin Bieber. I'll see y'all next time. Bye.