A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Pro Chefs Rank The Most Expensive Fast Food

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Today, Josh and Nicole taste and rank the most expensive fast food items on the market.Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1Check out the video version of this podcast:https://www.youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich

I'm about to drop a band at Carl's Jr. Did you know in Canada you don't throw singles at the Carl's Jr. Because their singles are coins. I'm dropping loonies all over this Carl's Jr. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, a Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host Josh Sher. And I'm your host, Nicole Iniety. And that is just another one of the beautiful cultural differences between our neighbors to the north and us that they don't have $1 bills.

You know what pissed me off? That wasn't written in the intro. I had a really nice intro. It says, I'm about to drop a band at Carl's Jr. And you were supposed to say... That is not a flex. And he just went rogue and started talking about Canadian strip joints. That's what...

Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Is that not what dropping a band means? When you say I'm about to drop a band at Carl's Jr., you're playing on the idea of a place where you would, like, drop a band at an institution... I think it just means dropping money off or giving money to. Yeah, yeah, but you wouldn't say like, I feel like you use the term. Where do you drop a band at? With, like, a jewelry store?

You can drop a band anywhere. But I feel like the place to drop a band where it would be impressive would be a place with dancers, with dancers who were there to make you feel wanted and important. Logan's nodding. You could drop a band. You could drop a band. But that's not even impressive because a lot of jewelry costs more than $1,000. I think the impressive thing is at the band, which is colloquially $1,000.

It comes in ones, right? That's like when you drop a band, it's like impressive because that's so many ones. Whereas if you like, if I said I just dropped a band because my car registration was late at the DMV. You can drop a band at like product. And I had extending parking tickets. It's never impressive to drop a band of the DMV. Why would it be impressed to drop a band at the DMV? I have dropped.

I'm not. I have dropped a band of the DMV because I am irresponsible. It just means, well, you know, I don't have time to Urban Dictionary. Registration, late fee, smog check, three parts. parking ticket. And I don't even get a lot of parking tickets. I just... You don't get a lot of them? I drove an unregistered car for about three years. That's really irresponsible. And then, yeah, I'm not the... You think I'm the responsibility guy? I don't think you're the responsibility guy. No, way, man. Um...

So, we're here today. Economic anxiety. We all feel it different. Yes. And this is one way we... I'm feeling economic anxiety. This is actually the most unique economic anxiety. We are about to try, I want to say, $100 worth of food right now, and it's five items from fast food places. Do you remember when people would... bring home a grocery hall and it'd be like a bag and then you'd be like, this is $100. And it was kind of shocking. Do I remember?

What do you mean? Yes, that happens right now. No, I know what happens right now. But I feel like that was a bigger trend on social media or I just stopped being on social media. I think you just stopping me. So I don't see it anymore. But like it'd be pretty sure.

Sometimes it was shocking. Sometimes it wasn't to see what people got for $100. This for $100 is shocking. Yeah, it's really, really bad. This is crazy. Timbers are changing. Carl's Jr. is here. Carl's Jr. had a burger probably about 20 years ago.

It dropped maybe a little bit more. maybe 23, 24 years ago, called the $6.00 burger. I remember the $6 burger. The reason it was called the $6 burger is not because it cost $6. It cost probably like $279. But the idea was it was the size and quality of a burger from a place like Chili's. And they were making fun of Chili's for being too expensive for their burger costing $6. $6 was so unfathomable.

For a burger in America. That Carl's Jr. named their burger after this hyperbole. And how much does this Carl's Jr. Burger cost, Nicole? God, let me pull it up. You're going to be really disappointed. That Carl's Jr. Burger, it's a triple guacamole bacon burger for 1780. But let me ask you a question. Have wages?

Have wages quintupled in the last 20 years ago? Can we got a fact check? Have wages quintupled since 2004? I don't think we need to fact. I think I know. I still, boy, do. And I've read about it. I do not understand what is going on with the balloon.

prices of fast food. Is it simply an inelastic demand? Is it like, because I always wonder about, you go to like a restaurant, right? The whole thing about tipped wages where like if restaurants wanted to, they could just make everything 20% more expensive and then pay their employees. A livable wage. A livable wage. However, if they make everything 20% more expensive, then you're going to buy roughly 20%

less. ish. That's at least what people say. That's what they call an elastic demand. If my not to brag, AP Econ training is still there.

Cheated on every test, got an A in the class. Good for you. Good for you. Cheated off of Herbie Koffer. Herbie. Thank you. You had a kid named Herbie in your class?

Herbert Koffer, the third, starting corner on the football team. The third. I think you went to like ASU Honors College, got a big scholarship. Herbie. Some would say he's, fully loaded.

I think, yeah, I think we probably made that joke. I feel like Herbie didn't like it back then. I feel like Herbie don't like it now. How would you know? Are you friends with Herbie now? No, I haven't talked to Herbie since high school. I probably ran in it, ran into like one Orange County House party after that.

This is an $18 burger. And also consider the fact... I need Herbie to explain to me the economics of that. Also, we did order in California, so that's another thing. And also, these prices were on the app, the app known as DoorDash. Now, that might change the price, you know, a few, maybe... maybe a few cents here, maybe a dollar up and down. But for the most part, this is how much a burger costs.

And that's insane. Well, this isn't like a standard burger. This is, this is the thing. This is a triple guacam burger. Burgers have also gotten bigger. Not too. I did, let me tell you, I did write a little bit of a, of a detailed list of what I try to not put in here.

Okay. I tried to avoid words like mega, giant, big, huge. No meals, no meal deals, no family meals, no party packs, no bundles, no boxes. boxes, no added ingredients to hike up the price, just one item price. So you're not like building your own. We're not adding. Exactly. This is on the menu as is.

Exactly. This is an item that exists on the menu. Can I tell you how I know that item exists on the menu? Because I drive by. No, no, I've never had this. I drive by a Carl's Jr. like every day. And they are plugging the triple burger, specifically a triple guacamole burger, like nobody's business.

But is this something that we need? Is the triple burger something we need? Not only is it not something we need, I don't even think it's something we like. I don't think this is going to taste good. I don't think so either, but you want to peel it back? Let's try this. We've been talking about this one. Also, can you look at the beautiful wrap, the rap style? Whoever wrap this burger, kudos to you.

I love Carl's Jr. Maybe that makes the price worth it. The feel of this paper is nostalgic for me. The origami paper is gorgeously done. Have you had a triple hamburger? I don't eat Carl's Jr. Well, so I remember Holy crap. Oh my God.

This looks awesome. That's enough to feed maybe. Can you bring up the nutrition on this? Can you find it? Sure I can. Give me one moment. Let me also explain what's in this. So it's three char broiled, all beef patties, guacamole, two strips of cherry wood bacon, pepper jack, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion,

and Santa Fe sauce served on a seated bun. You're leaking on your laptop. Use the paper. Use the paper. Okay, are you, how many calories you think it is? Simple. Welcome my Bingburger. You need to chew your food.

Thirteen hundred? Swallow your food and then tell me the number. I think it's a 1,300 calorie of burger. I think there's 70 grams of protein. You're so close. How much? 1350. 1350?

Yeah. 100 grams of protein. It doesn't specify how much protein. It just says the calorie count. But, oh my God. Too many calories for this density. Oh, my gosh. Isn't 2,000 calories the recommended a daily amount?

Yeah. Most people I think eat significantly more than that. I'm probably like a 3,500 guy. Insanity. I don't even want to, it's so, it's terrifyingly big. I really love Carl's. I think Carl's Jr. rocks, dude. The smell of the char coming off that burger,

there's so nostalgic for me. That said, you take two patties off that burger. You're probably having maybe even a better time. That's what I'm saying. It's too much meat. It's so much meat. And also the meat, so there's cheese in between each meats. There is cheese in between.

It's like a trip. It's like a, what's it called? A three by three from... Yeah, yeah. But it does just sort of meld into one meatloaf. You know what I mean? Like, if you even look at it, it kind of just looks like a brick of meatloaf.

It looks like I'm looking through like late tectonics. Yeah. It's not very good. You like it? I like it. It's better than a walker. Carl Jr. changed their guacamole about seven or eight years ago. I don't like it.

Sorry to stop the podcast, but I just looked up. up the triple guacamole bacon burger on Carl's Jr. website like I was going to order it from them, and it's 1369 on their website, meaning DoorDash is upping the price by $4. That might be. That's crazy. The thing is, also, those websites aren't always accurate. Accurate. Yeah. The website isn't always as accurate.

I go off based off of, like, actual things that I can get. 100%. That's crazy, though. Well, that's another crazy part of this experiment that we're doing is ordering it online or ordering it via a third part. app also hikes up the price, which is an insane thing. So are these DoorDash companies and whatnot? Are they doing dynamic pricing yet? You know about dynamic pricing?

I'm not an expert on this. Tell me about it. I feel like Uber started doing this. Like surge prices? Like at nighttime when the club ends? Surge prices, but just for you. Yes, they are doing it. Why?

Dynamic pricing? That's what dynamic pricing is, right? They'll be like, hey, we know Nicole. She either A got money or B, don't give it. shit what she's spending on it. So we're just going to charge Nicole an extra dollar for this bird because we know she's going to get it. Is that real?

It uses algorithms and AI to adjust the costs you pay. So you need to tell me the fact... They need to make that illegal stat. So you mean to tell me the fact that I ordered it from my phone, that changes the price. Like, say if you ordered it from your phone. I don't know if that's exactly how they're doing it. It's based on personal data and location, distance traffic,

and demand and dasher availability. And, and, hear me out. But you've probably used your phone to order a bunch of fast food and whatever for mythical. The show I work for yet. Which is to say, like, yeah, if we need $100 worth of Arbys for GMM, you're just going to like, they might even be tracking how, like, fast you're clicking. I like click real fast. Yeah, I know. Especially like you're not, especially if you're using a production card because we need to get Red and Link a couple, the Big Montana's don't still exist.

What's an Arbys in any item? RBQs don't exist. What's at Arbys? Anyways, you get chicken cordon blue sandwich. You know, you need to get about 16 chicken corn on blue sandwiches for one pun on GMM. You're just clicking as fast as you can. So they might just be search pricing the hell at you at $18 for gross. This is so unfair.

Do you know how much I spent on this subway bowl? Do you know how much I spent on this subway bowl? What is the subway bowl? This Carl's Jr. Burger, I don't know if we're rating this. I'm not going to rate this. I can nine out of ten. It's so good.

They're guack. They have much better guack than they used to. They're using like, not fresh avocado, but they're... Flash frozen. They're mixing the avocado with the accoutrement fresh. So it does taste a lot better than like a taco bell. That's good. But yeah, that's not bad, man.

I'm just very upset. Put a couple jalapinos on there, you know what I mean? I've always dynamically priced. I think so. This should really be illegal. Just because of like where my house is or like where... Man, imagine if the government could pass any regulation right now. That'd be crazy.

Those guys don't know what they're doing. This is the five-meat Italian protein bowl from Subway. It cost me $19.19. It probably costs $8, but if you're Nicole. I'm literally, I'm emotionally damaged. This bothered me. Well, we've even gotten a lot of comments. We did.

We'll get to that soon. I need protein because by the time I got, we had Ike's sandwiches catered for lunch, and by the time I got there, there were only vegan sandwiches left. Oh, me too. I got the one lone veggie sandwich. Yeah, I got like one gluten-free half sandwich and one vegan half sandwich and both are pretty... Disappointed?

The gluten-free vegan meatball sandwich is not the move. Oh, really? Shocking. So I need the protein. But we did an episode about me and Trevor guessing grocery prices on the mythical kitchen. You have? Oh, yes. I watched the content.

I don't know. That was the day you went home. Oh, yes. You were sick, yeah, yeah. Oh, I had really bad tummy troubles. I thought I was dying. Yeah, you're really sick. We were supposed to film that together.

And then we, like, called Trevor, and he was, like, on the freeway going home from Smosh. Oh, my God. And we called Trevor. We were, like, trying to make the call. Trevor's like, I can turn around. There's an exit right here. We're like, hold. Hold.

Where's Nicole? Is she okay? I was literally doubled over. It was like a Friday, too. It was like a Friday night shoot. I was doubled over in pain. And I've never doubled over. I have a pretty high pain tolerance.

But that was a bad day. God bless Trevor. Yes, no. God bless Trevor. It was such a fun episode. But we were, like, guessing the prices of groceries and, like, whoever got close is won it. I was worried that we were going to be outed as like total out of touch frauds. Like what's it called coastal elites?

Yeah, yeah. You know the what could a banana cost Michael $10 that thing. But there was a can of chento tomatoes, which is like... The 28 ounce? Big 28 ounce can of chento tomatoes. Chanto are the San Marzano, kind of the most popular San Marzano tomato brand, even though they're not. I believe they were recently in a lawsuit, allegedly. About the labeling of San Marzano?

There was something, Willie Malekander is a great book about tomatoes that he diagrams out the Chento relationship with the San Marzano boards of certification

of which there are multiple. Very complicated. It has a lot to do with the spelling. Allegedly, according to Chento, they said they dropped out of the, like, whatever the DOP program was. Okay.

Because the DOP program, the verification program for San Marzano would only let them use the phrase S. dot Marzano and not San Marzano. That sounds familiar. Because that was the official trademark.

S dot. Yeah, and in Italian, S dot, you know to mean San, in the same way that in English, you know, S-T-dot means... Street? The other one. S.T. dot Thomas. Saint. Saint. San means saints in Italian.

Oh, I do not know that. What's it, St. Pierre, the brand of brioche, right? That's S-T-D-Pierre. Okay. But they're like, in America, nobody's going to know what S-D-Marzano means, but they know that emeral's putting San Marzano tomatoes in its pasta on food number. right now. So anyways, uh, chinted tomatoes though. Me and Trevor got there and I think we both guessed like six bucks. I thought it was four bucks. $9.8.99 for a can of chinted tomatoes. From like, it was Rouse. It was our big market

grocery store. We got so many comments that were like, that were like, these are $5 in our grocery store in Florida or whatever. So like California grocery prices, California food, fast food prices are significantly higher. California everything. California girls. They're unforgettable. They're unforgettable. Daisy Duke's bikinis on top? What did I think was bikinis on ice? I've been saying Daisy Duke's bikinis on ice.

Why would the bikinis be on ice? There's no ice in California. It's like saying boots with the fur. I think I was imagining. Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur. You know what? Daisy Duke's bikinis on top. What I was imagining is a girl wearing Daisy Dukes with a bikini top.

And then ice on her dipples. Ice skating rink. Oh. Ice on her nipple. No, not the scene from showgirls. Not the, uh, here, ice them down. Not that. But I love, I love DeNogersian.

Not that. Um, okay. Yeah, what's going on here? I'll tell you. So it's spicy pepperoni, genuine salami, oven roasted turkey, ham, roast beef, provolone, cheese. Tomatoes, cucumber, peppers, olives, onions, and mayo served on a bed of lettuce and spinach. Where's the mayonnaise? I have a question.

Oh, my God, to the mayonnaise pocket. I'm going to vomit. I have a question. You can just say like one or two words and they give you this at Subway. What's this called? Five meat Italian. You can just say give me a five meat Italian. What's the noun after that?

The noun is protein bowl and the descriptor is five meat Italian. Yeah. I can't eat this. It's unedible. It's not usable for me. You have to eat a blanket. You have to eat a phalanx of meat off the top until you get to the vulnerable. Are there's vegetables in here?

Yeah. Should I shake it? I'm shaking. It's going to do nothing, girl. What are you talking about? That's not what they say on the internet. I got here, look, look, they're layered. No!

There's a smear of mayonnaise on top of the... Dude, they need to chop it. So this is... I just got the chills. I can't eat Subway anymore. It makes me revolted. This is the proteinification of America, right? This is what we get.

Where World Health Organization came out with a study, really solidly linking. This is correlational data, not causational data. Keep that in mind. Keep that in mind. Linking processed red meat consumption to like colorectal cancer They're like Yeah Processed red meat

It's about the worst thing you can do Eating hot dogs or whatever Like really try and limit it This and I It's a lot more complicated than that But still not a bad guideline If you're eating a ton of hot dogs You're probably not eating the best diet

This is just a bowl with like five kinds of processed red meat on it I find it to be Well there's also pork I've red meat Pork is the other white meat No we did a whole thing about that We literally did a whole podcast about that I remember

and then we were part of the pork boards marketing campaign that I strongly believe in. Oh, cooking the pork till rosy? We're a little part. This is my favorite thing. Favorite thing we've done, mythical kitchen history. We're part of the porkboard's marketing campaign to get people to undercook their pork. Not undercooked.

No. Properly cook. To properly cook their pork, which, for most of the pork, we were raised on. Not Nicole, Jewish. I'm Jewish, but we ate pork. Most of the pork, we grew up eating. Oh, my grandma. Oh, God.

If only she knew how to. watch any of our videos. She had been so disappointed. But that was good. They were like, hey, literally like 10 years ago, we told people that they can cook pork to 145, not 165, and no one's listening. Can you please tell them? We're like, sure.

Yeah, I remember that. We cook some dank like a pork wine. And they gave us a really, really good thermometer that I think we still have to this day. I'm good sure to do. Shout to the pork, man. I hate this product. This is the worst food that exists on the menu. Why do we hate somebody so much?

You know when I'm depressed at work, sometimes I eat something that looks almost exactly like this? I just rate our lunch meat. I eat fistfuls and lunch meat and then whatever, like, loose spinach I can find. Yeah, that's when you're depressed. I thought that's when you were happy. It's hard to tell us on this. It's harder to tell for me to call.

I'm trying to give it together. No, there's nothing joyful about me eating that. I don't know why Subways do... We just... A few weeks ago, we ate the Subway's new value any of the protein pockets. Yeah, we don't know what's going on in Subway. Subway's having an identity crisis. And I really need them to get their stuff together.

Wake up, girl. Wake up, girl. It's Christmas. This is about the worst way that you could spend. This is what, $19? $19 and $19. According to my surged, evil pricing, I'm getting it off my phone. I'm throwing my phone into the river.

I'm over it. This is the worst way you could spend $19. You know what you could do instead? Go to a local sandwich shop and just get a sandwich. No, but I have carbs. Don't have carbs. It's healthy. Josh, remove the carbs.

No, go, what about this? Oh, dude, you ever have a cucumber that's, like, insanely bitter? Yeah. How's that? Oh, no. Oh, no. I hate bitter. That's why I only have Persian cucumbers or Armenian cucumbers, depending on what grocery store you're at.

That was terrible. Subway figured out. This was getting worse. I think we're just becoming more jaded. No, I don't think so, dude. You know whenever, listen. Listen, do you know any people that are currently your age that are still dating and they're like miserable? But I have a different theory about that.

What? The theory, if that theory applied to this, would imply that all the good foods been eaten off Earth. And we're now just eating the scraps. No, I believe the proprietors of food. Sure. Are not doing their part anymore. Ah. I see what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah. They're not putting the effort in. Exactly. Like, whatever. I will just robot. Have you heard of this guy who invented? I'm not sure exactly who is... The Brito Bowl robot?

Yes. That's happening, man. Really depressing. I got to fight the Brito Bowl robot. Brito bowl robot guy. I challenge your robot to a burrito bowl off. And then I challenge that robot to an arm wrestling match. And I challenge that robot to a jerk off.

It's what it sounds like. Soda jerk? Yeah, yeah, soda jerks exactly. We're going to see who can pour the fastest egg cream. That's what they're calling the next thing. All right. Okay, next. Well, this is a cool item.

This is a limited time offer menu item. From ShakeShack, it's the barbecue boneless baby back rib sandwich. This is cool. This might be something that you would like to spend money on. I'm excited to try this. Why don't you open it? Well, Shake Shack used to do good work. Boneless 100% babyback pork ribs topped with our classic smoky barbecue sauce,

fresh co-slaught and pickles on a toasted potato bun. Doug, this is tiny. Guess how much? Oh, it's $14. Oh, come on. Get out of town. This can't be more than $14. This is so small.

1889. What is your computer's answer? The subway was 1919 for me. Okay, okay, okay. That makes you feel better. Does it? None of this is making me feel better. Dude, that bun is a slider bun.

That's a whole King's Hawaiian slider. This is a Martin's Potato Roll. Yeah. This is a whole, this is ribs. It is a boneless rip. They've taken the bones out of rib. This isn't like a rib patty. No, it's not a 100% baby-backed pork ribs.

There's a guy that came on a shark tank selling boneless racks of ribs, and I'm wondering if it's him. Ooh. Do you remember his name? Nope. Excuse me. That's a good? I'm not very good, man. You think it's worth $19?

No, I don't go out to eat anymore. I don't go out to eat. You need? I go to, I took a party bus to the Rainforest Cafe. I'll do that. Bro, that's not... So you're eating for the plot? You're not even in...

Correct. I am not going out to a restaurant. If I'm going out to a restaurant for the food... You know what the last time I went to a restaurant for the food was? Sri Siam. Northern Thai restaurant in L.A. They have a wonderful papaya salad, which is a dish I cannot make at home. And it's delightful.

They have a crispy rice salad. They always have a bunch of fun little appetizers. They got a duck liver lop. Yeah. That's great. I'm eating Thai food. I mean cabob I'm eating Mexican food

Indian food That's it No more Italian food Done No more burgers Done You're done I'm done

I'm out You're out The hell would I Why would I do this I if I'm eating out It's either for the plot I'm taking a party bus To Ontario Mills

To go to the Rainforest Cafe And there I am not there for the taste I'm there For the animatronics I'm there for the animatronic Gorillas I'm there to meet Chachaw the Frog Shout out to Chachau the Frog

My girl Ruby, not to put her on blast, she's in the suit. It's not a real frog. It's not a real frog. Can I tell you what happened to the rainforest cafe? Can I eat a bite of that? And then you can... You eat a bite and don't say what happened to the rainforests cafe. Go ahead.

I'm all yours. Take a party bus to the rainforests cafe. Why? Friends going away party, it's just their dream. And the closest one's like an hour, 15. So we should get a bus we can drink. We had eight people. We get to the rainforest cafe.

Me and two other dudes, we're wearing matching safari helmets. It was a whole thing. But anyways, found out... You couldn't go to Vegas? It's better to go to Ontario Mills. And so I found out that a couple of the Rainforest Cafe employees, not bad. A couple of the rainforest cafe employees were fans. And so I was taking pictures with like four of them off to the side.

But then somebody came out with their volcano lava cake dessert or whatever that sparklers in it. And they're like, hey, birthday time got to go. And so like, oh, my God. So like Navy SEAL scrambling the jets, they joined this birthday line and I'm just there. But I'm in a Safari hat and animal print. So I'm like, I'll go sing happy birthday to whoever. And so I go, Happy, Happy Birthday

Happy Happy Day. Hey, it's all the same song. We went to my table. We were singing happy birthday to me. My friends lied and said it was my birthday. So I'm in the employee birthday line singing to myself, who's not at the table, and they're confused.

So the lead of the birthday brigade, who thought it was my birthday, are singing to nobody and put the cake down and turn around and I'm singing to myself. And it's suddenly like a Houdini act. So those are the restaurant experiences. That's an insane.

That I now seek out. And I'm drinking four Corona Rita's. I hate 25 coconut shrimp. That's what I want because all other food is so expensive and bad. You know what's worth it? Corona Rita's and coconut shrimp. You know what? I think you're right.

I think we now need to eat for the bit. I get how we've lost God. You know what I mean? We have to eat for the bit. I mean, at this point, fast food has become a luxury. Yeah. This is really insane to me. You used to be able to get chicken nuggets and fries for like three bucks or something like that.

Times used to supersize for free. This is crazy. It is crazy to see this laid out in this way and just see the fall of fast food empires. It's really freaking crazy. There were two kinds of poor families growing up for me. Where one was like potatoes and rice and beans and like cheap ground meat. family, which is the right thing, which is to, like, buy ingredients and make them at home. And make those, in those scale, they're very cheap.

The other type was my family, which is a fast food poor family. Because fast food, we were at the unique time when it was, I mean, you're getting 500 calories for a dollar. No matter which way you spend that, that's very cheap, especially taking out the idea of, like, labor, dishwashing, and blah, blah, because my dad was already working three jobs. We were kids. Right.

You know, until I started cooking when I was like 11, 12 years old. Mm-hmm. But we were feeding families on fast food, which also isn't great, you know, that exists. Food shouldn't be that cheap. You know, but we grew up with that. And so maybe fast food should be a luxury? I don't know, man. I don't know.

That's – I have no idea if fast food should be a luxury. Yeah. I mean, there was an argument for – maybe 10 years ago for a soda tax in Berkeley. This at the time in Berkeley, it was a very, like, left-wing position in a way was, like, we should tax soda because – These junk food companies are preying on low-income families, right? We know that about fast food. They used to move into low-income areas, you know, in food deserts next to school, stuff like that. Ditto with soda companies.

So, like, we should put a tax on it, and then all the taxes that we collect on it should go to, you know, anti-diet related disease and anti-poverty initiatives. Fair. But one of the counters to that was, like, that's just a tax on poor people, right? If you live in a food desert, you don't exactly have access to, you know, fresh bread juices for cheap. You know what I mean? Uh, soda's there. It's widely available. It's filling. It makes you happy. You know, we're just taxing poor people and then putting their own taxes towards the programs that should be helping them. Exactly. And so that's kind of the argument with fast food is like, well, if, you know, it's sort of like taxed and more expensive,

is that just then tax on the poor? I don't know, man. I don't know. I wish I had the answers. It's incredibly difficult. I can only imagine how the politicians are feeling. Yeah. What if they just... What if it's like cigarettes? What, everyone should have it at all times, and it's awesome, but your wife gets mad? Yeah. I don't know, man. But I mean, that's the difference.

But aren't cigarettes like 50 million times more expensive than they were like 10 years ago? They really are. And so cigarettes, that's actually interesting. That was part of the soda. I wrote a lot about the soda tax. Because I think you found cigarettes found almost a purely elastic demand, which is to say, a 10% rise in cigarette prices meant a 10% reduction in smoking rates.

Wow. It was almost one for one. Like it was actually really crazy. Would that include vapes and stuff too? I'm back then. Dude, vapes are so new. Like,

vapes were so new. There were the weird like blue e-sigs at gas stations that everyone was like, who the hell is buying those? And then there were like the weird dudes that listened to Tool,

I assume, and just had giant, giant, I love Tool too. Especially like an older. I'll listen to the pot like once a month just to remind myself how good. Who I am too.

To remind myself how good of a song it is. Like every once a month I just remind myself. I'm like, this is a really good song. I'll have just like, entire tool days. You know what I'm doing? My brother showed me tool. I listened to three hours of tool. But anyways, the guys who listen to Tool,

they were smoking those giant vape mods with the huge clouds. The ones that have like the different parts on there. Yeah, and they would call them like portable hookas, you know? They were calling them like pocket hookas for a while. Really? There was like a weird, yeah, yeah. Insane. They were blowing giant clouds and doing tricks.

But anyways, uh, uh, elastic demand. So soda had a sense. similar thing. If you raise the price, there was a drop, but it's like, who's that price being raised for? You know what I mean? Hank and John Green had a really interesting thing. Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at my hookah skills.

Hank and John Green had a really interesting point where one of them, I get I'm confused. You get confused which is which? One of them, not actually, but I forgot who said what. One of them equated social media use to smoking, where they were like, we are going to realize, It's like we are in the smoking indoors era of social media. Or, you know what? It was a video that was, are we, or my cigarettes? I think it was John Green said of my cigarettes.

It was the idea that by producing this content, we know it's bad for people. Are we cigarettes? Hank's response was, no, we're food. Uh-huh. Because content, right, consuming the news, you know, the fourth estate being like a really important thing. Consuming some sort of media, communications are important to human. Human interaction in a way, right? To holding society.

You could survive in the world without consuming media. I think it's more necessary than that, though. I think in terms of what it does for society, at least it used to be, in terms of at least journalists being able to hold institutions accountable for the people. It's not like that anymore. No, it's not like that anymore. It used to be that way. And I yearn for those days.

It's not like that anymore. Do you want to get a five guys burger? The Five Guys Burger. Hey, while Josh is unwrapping... While Josh is unwrapping the Five Guys Burger, have you liked our video? Jesus Christ. You should like our video right now.

Before you go, just like it. It's like a mangled beach ball. I must say. Five guys, visually, not much going on. But a very tasty burger. But he took it away. Mine. I did put ketchup, mustard, mayo.

lettuce, tomato onion. What's going on with five guys? They don't salt their burgers. They don't salt their beef, I know. It's interesting. But I do like the quality of their beef. Do you like this better than a Carl Jr.? Yeah. Listen, I'm kind of weird about char.

Always have been, always will be. Really? Artificial char makes me sick. Mm-mm. You know what makes me sick? Not makes me sick, but I think it's... Capitalism! I don't know, man.

Amazing Stick, Josh. I benefited from it. Torched sushi. You don't like that? No, it always just tastes like, I don't know if it's hexane or whatever. Is it hexane? Can you look up what the odorant is that they use for butane? Benzine.

Is it benzene? Maybe. One of them. But whatever, like, I think the odorant is that they use. Because I think propane and butane are both odorless, colorless. And they need to put it in there. They need to put an odorant in there so people know if there's a leak. Right.

We're captains? We're captains. Never heard. Specifically ethel or butel? I believe you. What am I thinking with hexane and benzene? Maybe the gas station. Is hexane what they add to gasoline to like make it?

I don't know. I don't know nothing about science. I love the smell of gasoline. Failed abe cam. But like whatever the odorant is, I feel like I can smell it on my sushi. It'll be like a nice sushi place. It's an old torch of yellow tail belly, whatever. And it just kind of like tastes like gas.

I don't mind. I think it's because I like the smell of gasoline. It doesn't bother me. I like five guys. Guess how much that is? You'll never guess. What's this called? That's a bacon.

That's just a bacon cheeseburger. Guess how much it is? Wait, wait. That's just a bacon cheeseburger. I know five guys. You have to order like a junior cheeseburger if you just want one burger. I love you. You have to choose swallow and then speak.

Guy Fieri. Oh, my. People always like, they never show Guy Fietti swallow the food. You know why? Because he spent it out. No. Because this. Because you don't watch people, you don't have a host, talk with their mouth full, and then like right when they swallow it, go, man, that was incredible.

That'd be weird as hell. No, you, they put the bite in their minute, they chew once, then you cut to when they're ready to talk. Okay. Otherwise, this is what you get. Don't get mad at me. Don't get mad at me. I'm just telling you the truth. I'm so greasy.

When are you not? I'm just a fair point. This is their cheeseburger? No, how much is the cheeseburger costs? $18. It's really expensive. It's really expensive. McDonald's hamburger used to be 39 cents on Saturdays.

Wait, 20, it might have been 29 cents on Saturdays, and then cheeseburgers were 39. How much was the filetfish on Filo Fish Fridays? I don't know if I saw filial fish for less than 9.9 cents. But 99 cents? What a concept. What a concept. You will not find. Also, 29 cent McDonald's Cheeseburger Saturdays.

That was, shouldn't have done that. We would buy 30, and we'd put them in the freezer. It was limited. 10 per customer, but we'd send my brother in, we'd send me, and we'd send my dad in. Yeah, three of you guys. They'd see us just go in the same car. We weren't fooling anybody. They didn't care.

Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? You know what I mean? Times were tough back then, man. Who cares? Times were tough, and this is, 9-11 had just happened? Oh, my gosh.

Remember 9-11? Yeah, that sucked. Oh, my God. 9-11 sucked. That was a really tough time for all parties involved. I really was. Gosh, I stayed home from school that day. Really?

My brother's like, you are not going to school. I'm like, well, how? First of all, they let me sleep in. Woo-hoo. They didn't wake me up at all. Flip that. Iranian podcast host, Cheers 9-11. No.

No. They let me sleep in. I was like, okay, awesome. And then I heard my brother screaming. I'm like, and I woke up. And then my brother's like, you're not going to school. And I'm like, why? He's like, there was an attack on the Twin Towers in New York.

And I'm like, I'm like, 11. I don't know what that means. But yeah, it was crazy. That tomato is. so white. He goes to church on Sundays. Relagiosity and white people's dropping. Relagiosity?

He said he's so white. This tomato's so white. This tomato's so white. He saw Morgan Wallen live. This tomato's so white. He has a country club membership. Keep going. Pay $18 for this tomato? I didn't. I paid $18 for the whole thing. Actually, production paid. Last thing we should eat. Dave's hot chicken.

mozzarella sticks, five pieces, $15.49. Jesus Christ. Give me a bite. These guys only do sliders. They don't do actual sandwiches. That's pretty well done. Pretty good. That's pretty good.

I pay 15 bucks for that. I pay 15 bucks for that. That's a great deal. Oh, well, hey, no one knows, Dave. And Drake for investing. Shoot. This is really good. Great.

Well, hey. Manit on the, what is it? Manit on the beat. Shabang. I don't know. I don't know if words mean. I'm having a great time eating a spicy fried cheese. It's also a little sweet.

Incredibly well done. Oh. Hey, maybe things aren't so bad. May I just say maybe Dave's hot chicken should just be Dave's hot mots because this hot mots is banging. Well, I will say I think Dave's hot chicken is like the new model of fast food, right? Along with Shake Shack. I'm sorry, I'm Googling Drake lyrics. Oh, my God.

Oh, that's it. At the end of the day, fat food careening out of control. in terms of prices. Is that any of it worth it? Manisha on the beat, Shebang. Not even close. That's a person, Manish on the beat? I don't know.

Is Shabang their last name? I think they're saying like, wee. We took Drake off our list. After Kendrick. Kendrick marked him so bad. We took Drake off of our last meal's list. Not that we ever like, thought we could grab him.

We'd just like, you know, we put him on a list. I love him. But literally, they're not like... Put him back on. I love Drake. Who doesn't love Drake? They're not like us came out. And we were like, like, nope.

Oh, I forgot. Certified lover boy. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I totally forgot. Wow. Nuts. If you wanted us to put Drake back on the approved names list. I don't think we'll put him back on the approved name list.

But you know who I want to see on last meals really badly? Buster Rhymes. Wow, that'd be fun, man. Come on. All right, Nicole. All right, Josh. We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other white kid is about to go to the universe.

Time for the second week. Opinions I like casseroles Put on your headphones What do you think about it all, huh? What do I think about what? Oh, this is that I feel like shit. I did not enjoy it. The only thing I enjoyed was the Shake Shack

and the hot moths. And other than that, it's pretty gross. What's the fast food that you like earnestly enjoyed this days? I don't, Taco Bell, maybe. Even then, dude, I've had some like really bad Taco Bell recently. All I do is I just get a cheesy gordita crunch every now and then. just to remind myself that it's my favorite. There's one good fast food place.

I still love In and Out. I still get In and Out occasionally. Wabog Grill. You got you eating Wabog Grill? I forgot. Yeah. Listen, I have loved Wabogrel for almost a decade. Do you ever go to a spot called Flame Broiler?

Never. I will never step foot in a Yoshinoa or a Flameboiler. Don't you put Yoshinoa and Flame Broiler in the same category? I will never, ever, ever go to either. Sorry if you guys want to like do a sponsored video or something. Maybe I'll change my soon. Now, there's only one. Maybe.

There's only one fast. fast food restaurant that I really want the sponsorship from. What? El Pollo Loco. Oh, I want to eat El Pollo Loco sometimes. El Pollo Loco is, they're just a whole chicken that's grilled. It's good. It's marinated with citrus and chilies and spices and herbs, and it is delicious.

You can get a thing of pinto beans, whole, unprocessed pinto beans, they are beautiful. Grilled chicken and like some corn with their avocado salsa. Uh-huh. It's such a wonderful meal. It is. And it's like unprocessed. It's awesome, man.

I love El Pollo Loco. Elpoa Logos is the way to go. I want to drop a band that El Pollo Loco. I would love to drop a band there. Bands and make her dance. Give me 50 chickens. 50 chickens, whole ones, chickens. 50 chickens.

Give me 50 chickens. I'm going to El Pollo Loco with $1,000. I'm going to start spraying the $1,000. I have a money gun. I have a dollar bill gun. You do? Yeah, it goes, have you ever put real money in it? Yeah, of course.

No, you have it. No, you haven't. You think I have it? Why the p. Do you think I would have gotten a dollar bill gun if not to put real money in it? I think because you want a stunt. Where would I go that it would be appropriate to stunt with fake money? I don't know.

But maybe a pool party. That does sound fun. That is the place to bring fake money to. Like a friend's pool party, like a ha, fun little joke. Wearing a captain's hat? I can see it already. Hey, Josh and Nicole, Nicole, Mazeltoff on the baby. Thank you.

Since you had it, but still, nonetheless. My name's Logan, Southeast Texas. I got to call in and say, this, and I'm going to stand on this hill until I die. Do it. Sweet baby raised barbecue sauce can suck my ass to my eyes cave in. Oh, vivid. It is either famous Dave's devil spit or stubs.

Sweet baby rays is so overrated. I mean, it's the basic bitch of the barbecue world. I'm not allowed to cussing this? Yeah, well, you just fell out. You been. That's all you got to say. That's that Southeast Texas swagger. You can freely stand in the freeway.

But don't really stand the freeway. Keep it groovy? I don't know how to end this. Bye, bye, guys. That's pretty good. We're keeping a groovy. This is very timely on account of the episode that we shot yesterday. Josh, and Josh put me on to Stubbs.

I didn't. Yesterday, we cooked hamburgers on the show Mythical Kitchen, and I was doing a sort of rendition of Carlson Jr.'s Western Bacon Cheeseburger. Right. And we initially were talking about getting sweet baby raised, and I was like, no, no, no, we're getting stubs. Sweet paper raised, it's a perfectly fine barbecue sauce. Like I said, it is the basic.

the basic B. It's a perfectly standard, very sweet barbecue sauce. I'm not a big barbecue sauce person, so I don't really have skin in the game. But I do one really, really delicious barbecue sauce that I like that no one ever talks about is Rufus Teague. You ever had Rufus Teague? I don't know if I ever actually had it. I see it all the time. I used to work for them. Oh really? They had really good quality barbecue sauce. I think Stubbs is perfect. Delicious, complex, sweet when you want it to be savory, when you want it to be a little bit exciting, very well spiced. You can literally see the flex of spice in there,

which always makes me happy. That's what I love about Stubbs. Stubbs was really surprised. What a delicious flavor Stubbs has. It's not super sweet, which I love. It leans on the spice, on the vinegar, on the tomato. Tons of heavy coarse ground black pepper in there. Tastfully liquid smoked.

I love Stubbs' barbecue sauce. I love this insult of suck my ass till my eyes cave in. Well, I'll tell you what, because I think medically, yeah, I think medically. that could happen. Do you think the butthole sphincter can suction your ass? Well, let's think about this. Do you know any doctors we can ask? I don't feel comfortable asking Dr. Mike about this.

I'm close enough with Dr. Mike to text him about. But I don't feel, I don't feel comfortable asking Dr. Mike. I'm in a group chat with like all of David's friends who are doctors. I'm going to ask them. So you're going to ask them, could someone's butthole be sucked so hard that her eyes came in? One of them is an emergency room doctor, and he's done a lot of things with booty holes. Yeah, that's probably a majority of what emergency room doctors are dealing with these days. They're probably going to be so, okay, hold on.

Because there are stories, people, I don't want to get into it. Hey, guys, I have a quick question, comma. Can you have your butt hole sucked so hard that your eyes can cave in, question mark? The reason why I'm asking is because I'm currently on my podcast. A hot dog is a sandwich. And this is a voice note right now, period. It's urgent, period. I'm deleting it's urgent.

And we had a caller ask question mark. Let me know. Love you guys. Thank you. Have a great day at work. Well, we'll see if they answer. I'm guessing no. I think the digestive system isn't, well.

Josh, I don't think it's connected to your eyes. eyes. No, but surely the body is like a large cavity. You know, I think, no, because I think, ah, uh, uh, it's not connected to your uh-uh. No, but your, the nasal passages, like, connected to... That's D&T, that's ears, nose, and throat. Your throat goes to the butthole eventually.

Throat connects to butthole. How else would we eat and poo? But not your eyes! No, but there's eye holes that go down to the throat. Your eye holes go down to your throat. Yeah, you ever see someone like, uh... I have an E&T in here. You want to ask my E&T friend?

Well, I don't know. Well, I feel like we should give your doctor friend's arrest. Someone... Hey, guys. I'm reading Atomic Habits. What is that? You guys know Atomic Habits? Oh, that book?

I'll tell you the reason I'm reading Atomic Habits is because in the category that we were a New York Times bestselling book, number one, New York Times bestseller, it's something like nonfiction, how to self-help or something. And cookbooks get thrown in that. And so Atomic Habits has been number one for something like 80. years. Oh my gosh. It just keeps being up there. And every person I know that has become a New York Times number one best selling cookbook author, I always say, congrats on beating atomic habits. Because for us, I remember on our publishing week, it was us number one, atomic habits number two. Dion Sanders wrote like an autobiography. That was number three. And that was it. Atomic habits is always up there. And so I figured I might as well actually read it. And I'm not very far end, but I am at the point where

he talked about sneezing and his eyeballs bulging out. Like he can't close his eyes? He had like a crazy traumatic head injury. I think that's, I don't think that's very common. I think we have a, we have like a reflex that we close our eyes. So the fact that he does that is crazy. Do you think it's because? But I think there's some sort of like, what's what I'm saying is like if your ass will get stuck,

like maybe there's some connection. If he could sneeze and his eyeballs come out, maybe. Because he had a traumatic brain injury, that's why he can do that. Because it bypasses a natural reflex. Sure. I don't know if it's a reflex. I would have been a great doctor. I don't know.

Enough about the bottle or the eyes. All right, then. Dr. Nicole. And production team. Okay. Can we bring back cum quats? I mean, honey, cum quots never left.

And it tastes like candy. Come back, cum quots. That's a great slogan already. To search every grocery store in my whole town just to barely find them. You really do barely find them. I love cumquots. Comequots. Buy a cumquot tree.

You can blend it in a frozen drink. Yeah. You can make it into a marmalade or a jam. That's great. You can put it on your money-cristo sandwich. Oh. That's it. Carmquot Marmalade on a Monte Cristo?

Can we do a whole episode about comquots, please? If, okay. Come quots are a hard sell. I love cum quots. Have you ever had Amandaquot? No. I've seen them. I love Amandaquot.

Which is a hybrid? Yeah. Do you eat the whole skin though? Yeah. Interesting. Mm-hmm. So cum quots, for people that don't know, they're a tiny citrus root where you eat the whole skin. But the interesting thing is there's probably, it's like an orange, but they're the size of like a big grape.

They're really good. And they're good, but there's kind of like little crunchy seeds in them that you eat. And then there's probably about 30% flesh to 70% skin. Right? Yeah, you're correct. It's a tough sell as it far as fruit goes. I think it's a delicious fruit. I think it's...

In Farsi, there's something called saffrebor, which is, like, it cuts through so much, like, fatiness or, like, thing. It really, all that acid and, like, that bitterness really cuts through the rest of, like, the food you're eating. So I find it really pleasant as, like, a reset. Yeah, you're just, like, eating cum quots on the side? Like, cum quads don't fit into my daily lifestyle. Full stop. Um, I, if I see cum quots, I will buy cum quots because I know that they're in season when I buy them. You know what I'm saying? They're beautiful. Last time I bought them, I made a wonderful citrus panacotta dessert for my wife.

I almost feel like you don't need to love. I know you love your wife. And I made a, I made like a candied cumquot syrup. So not quite all the way to a marmalade. Uh-huh. This is kind of like beautiful like orange blossom honey syrup with candy piece of cumquot in it that are boiled in the honey. And that was like wonderful, but that was a small part. part of a larger dessert with a burgomot whipped cream and a grape panacotta. I don't think it's one of those things you always have to alter. I think it's beautiful in its form. And every now and then having a little super bitter, citrusy bite of food is pretty pleasant. Because, again, I feel like we don't get that a lot in the American culinary.

You're like, hey, it's 6.18 p.m. I'm home from work. I need a little snack before dinner. I'm going to eat at, what, three cumquots? Yeah, why not? What's going on? It's so nice. I bought a big-ass thing of Rainier cherries the other day.

How many did you eat? I ate the whole big-ass thing. Julie don't like cherries. I love cherries. Rainier cherries are actually the best cherries. Normally I don't like them. I bought these, like, deeply dark, like, black cherries at the farmer's market. And they were wonderful.

But I saw these great-looking rainier cherries, too. Shepical them. I ate them. Because I would get home every day from work, and I'd be so excited to eat about 12 ice-cold big cherries. Mm-hmm. What do you think it's all for? What? Life.

Nothing. Consciousness is a cheap evolutionary trick designed to get us to fear death. Oh. What do you think it's for? I don't know. Joy. I think it's all for joy. Then why is there so much tremendous sadness? I think it's because we have to feel those things in order to experience joy.

I think humans' capacity for sadness is infinitely larger than our capacity for joy. I don't think that's true. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast, a hot dog, Sandwich, we got new episodes out every week over here on the hot dog of the sandwich YouTube channel. Like the video. I already said that. I know again.

I'm saying it again. I like the video. Like the video. Also, my friends didn't text me. I think they think it's a joke. Why about that being a joke? They think I'm not being serious. If you want me to call my, if you guys want me to text my friends that are doctors,

hit us up at A33 Dogpod 1 so we can get some medical opinions in this bitch. Are we saying bad words now? I'm saying him. Oh, Ben said no. Oh, my friend doctor said, no, love you. Wait, wait, wait. But what if it sucked real hard? He's an emergency room doctor.

He knows what he's talking about. I believe Ben, when it comes to ailments of the bottle. Thumbs-upping that we can. Oh, say, bye. Get out of your. Crip.