A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Pro Chefs Rank the Spiciest Fast Food
Episode Date: June 4, 2025Today Josh and Nicole are eating some of the spiciest fast food items on the market for a definitive ranking of which is the tastiest and the spiciest. Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check o...ut the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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It's time to get spicy.
My body is ready.
My bathroom, mmm, not so much.
This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
Ketchup is a smoothie.
Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?
That makes no sense.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
A hot dog is a sandwich.
What?
Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.
This show, we break down the world's biggest food debates.
I'm your host, Josh Scherr.
And I'm your host, Nicole Inayiti.
And I'll tell you what, my bathroom is actually ready
on account of my bathroom has to be ready for all things at all times, Nicole.
Because see, we work a really weird job.
Yeah.
All we do is eat and talk, and eventually when you eat, well, that has to go somewhere.
And that somewhere is my bathroom.
Someone call it, if you're in the UK, a brick shi-
A brach. That's a brach-shedness.
A shithouse. Oh my god. Okay, a brick shi- A brech? That's a brech shi-
Oh my god, Josh and I were talking about the internet
Chachan ar a chanachoch
Tell me where I can get a chicken at a chanachoch
Are you Catholic?
No, I'm not binary
We're in a silly goofy mood today
We love the UK area, we love Scotland, we love Ireland, and we love England.
I love Northern Ireland as well, I'd throw them in there.
Northern Ireland and Ireland are different?
They've had decades of terrorism and infighting that they simply call the Travals.
So North Ireland and Ireland are two separate places?
So the country is technically called the UK and Northern Ireland,
and then Ireland is an entirely separate country.
And then there's like, what are kind of countries,
but not sovereign states within the UK,
called Scotland, England and Wales.
Now they compete independently at things like the World Cup and football,
but at the Olympics they are the UK and Northern Ireland.
I, Josh, I just learned so much.
Great Britain and Northern Ireland? Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Well, I'll say this. This has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter we're talking about today,
which is we're pro chefs and we're going to eat a bunch of spicy food from fast food restaurants
and decide which one is the best, the spiciest, the one that will make us vomit in our mouths.
Because I'm feeling a little vomity today.
I am too. We're procrastinating because neither of us really want to do this.
No, procrastinating means something so different.
What's procrastinating?
I said craster-baiting.
Oh, what is craster-baiting? That's even worse.
Ew! No, don't tell me!
Okay.
Anyway. Why not?
If I said, go away, Baton.
Do you know where that's from?
No! You're such a creepo!
No, it's a great movie.
Maggie googled it!
Oh no! I'm sorry, Maggie.
Eww, it's like a thing?
Yeah. That's disgusting!
No, I'm not buying any of it!
We are talking about the general paradox that exists within
big chain fast food restaurants of needing to create
increasingly spicy foods,
but then also making people's tummy hurts inside their car.
This is like a real paradox that exists where they're like,
we need to keep pushing the boundaries and making spicier things,
but also at some point you get to a tipping
point and it's too spicy nobody wants it so we have a panoply of veritable
panopole here it's crazy of all of the spiciest fast food foods I will say this
the majority of them are chicken and one of them is a burger checkin very
popular to make chicken spicy,
but burgers not so spicy.
Why is that Josh?
Tell the people.
There's like the culinary debate
of chicken is much more of a blank palette than beef.
And I think people are less precious
about the flavors that go on their chicken
than the flavors that go on the beef.
And then there's the economic argument
that I think is where this is all going
that most new menu items are
going to be chicken or at least non beef because beef is so expensive to produce
the lowest margins at any fast food restaurant is some sort of beef sandwich
which is generally called a hamburger but I was also thinking of Arby's
how can you not think of Arby's? I would love like an Arby's fiery ghost pepper roast beef.
That'd be delicious.
Me too, I'm surprised they haven't done that yet.
Oh, they got buffalo chicken out there.
I'd love me some Arby's wet beef.
But yeah, that's probably why the chicken's here.
Burger places don't want you to buy their burgers.
They want you to buy their fries
and their soft drinks and their chicken.
Yeah, so here we are.
Let's eat some.
I don't wanna do this.
We have one that I'm really excited about. I don't wanna do this. We have one that I'm really excited about.
One. I don't wanna do this.
Because we have a new item
from my favorite fast food restaurant of all time.
You have a favorite fast food restaurant of all time?
I do, it's the fast food restaurant that I eat at the most.
What is it?
It's changed over the years,
but now that I'm like an adult
who kind of cares about my body a little bit more,
and also my mind, I know which one it is.
And I wanna feel good.
We're talking about the El Pollo Loco. Well, this is the mango habanero chicken from El Pollo Loco.
Have you tried this yet? I have. I wish you lied. I know I should have said I haven't but no I've
tried it. Oh I actually haven't tried it for real because I tried it with the sauce separate. I tried
it with the sauce on the side but this is the first time this is on it that El Pollo Loco has
really like sauced their chicken and then grilled it.
This is exciting for me.
This is exciting for me as somebody who I love Nando's but they kind of I thought they
were gonna try and infiltrate the US and really expand it.
It sounds like Nando's is kind of out of the game.
Are there any Nando's in LA?
Definitely not in LA.
They're in the US though?
They were but from what I've heard they closed down some franchises in the US though? They were, but from what I've heard, they closed down some franchises in the US. They, I believe, started in DC in the US,
and I think they maybe opened some in Chicago.
But I was talking to somebody in the industry
and they were like, yeah, I think Nando's
is on their way out.
They're trying to pull out.
Oh no, I love their Perry Perry chicken.
I still remember it from my Euro trip.
I think Americans are weird about bone-in chicken,
but let's try this El Pollo Loco mango habanero chicken,
because I love bone-in chicken.
It's all I want to eat.
Pop it open I'm gonna say
the log line here. Add a piece of our fire grilled mango habanero chicken
perfectly sweet irresistibly spicy to your order. Choose from breast, wing, leg
or thigh. I think I got all of them. Oh my god. No you got to go dark meat only
although I do miss the wings. I did purposely get a mix because I always think
that spicy works best with dark meat.
Do you also feel that way?
No, I think it's good.
I think it's good on all of it.
I just think dark meat works the best in my mouth.
Oh, you just like dark meat more.
I love dark meat.
All I wanna eat are chicken thighs.
I don't even need the drumsticks.
If I could do only thighs,
which sucks that thigh stop did so poorly.
I'm sorry about thigh stop.
Thigh stop was not great. We do have wing stop, so poorly. I'm sorry about thigh stop. I stopped was not we do have wing stop
So that's exciting. Do you want to touch touch touch touch touch touch? Oh boy? Oh?
Yeah, now I will say the barometer of my mango habanero awareness is from wing stop and like Buffalo Wild Wings mmm
It's interesting you say that why you say that?
Because your barometer should only be from Buffalo Wild Wings
because Wingstop copied them.
Oh, well, there you go.
Mmm.
How does this chicken make you feel?
Incredible, and it's actually spicy.
It is spicy.
It's spicier than the mango habanero.
I've had it either Buffalo Wild Wings or Wingstop.
Same, also, this is sweet, but it's not too sweet.
It's not super sugary. It's not coingly sweet.
A lot of mango habanero, it just ends up being
like a yellow sugar sauce.
There you go. With some spice in it.
Yeah.
This is incredible. This is so well seasoned.
There's some stank in there, but not like bad stank.
No.
There's like a chili pulp.
There is, there's like whole habanero. You taste the flavor of the habanero. It's real like bad sink. It's like, there's like, there's like a chili pulp. There is, there's like whole habanero.
You taste the flavor of the habanero.
It's real habanero.
Which is crazy.
I will say, I wish, and this is really tough to do
at an industrial scale.
I wish they like sauced it and grilled it in even heavier
to kind of like get that caramelization.
Yeah.
Do you ever get a piece of really grilled meat sometimes
and it tastes like the grill though?
That's the worst. Oh, that's the worst. I want it to taste like the grill though. That's the worst.
Oh, that's the worst.
I want it to taste like the grill.
Dude, this is lovely.
It is really good.
Oh man.
What would you rate this out of 10?
One on flavor, and then two on spice.
I'm gonna give it a nine on flavor, and a nine on spice.
It's quite damn, right out the gate.
I am so impressed.
I give this a nine on taste. I give this an eight on spice.
I think there's room to go hotter,
but I don't know that anyone will.
But I think the pepper pulp makes it linger
and stay in your mouth in a really, really delicious way.
It doesn't dissipate quickly,
which I feel like things like buffalo goes away fast.
We're about to find out,
but this is just an absolute treat. I am-
Josh, you can take the rest home.
Oh my God, I would love, actually, that sounds so good.
I might just pop that in a pressure cooker
and then pull it and put it in tacos.
Okay, hold on.
Look at my hands.
I know, I can see.
My hands are covered in the sauce.
I'm having a great time.
Are you gonna lick it all?
Good, big ups, El Pollo Loco.
Great job out there.
El Pollo Loco, that was really good.
Okay.
People said they hate my eating noises and I'm sorry.
I'm sucking the sauce off my fingers.
Meggie's going to edit this out.
Oh, you watch all them people eat the crab legs and put in the microphone near their throat
so you can hear their epiglottis, but you don't like me sucking mango habanero off my fingers.
Don't do that.
Oh god.
Even I have limits. Much respect to the mukmongers out there. I can never do what you do.
Have you seen the onion boils and the tomato boils? What do you mean the onion boils? What's the onion boils?
You're literally gross. Thank you. You're gonna be such a good mom. I know. Trust me, I know. Take the rest!
What are the onion boils?
They take like, it's the crab boil mix.
Sounds like a disease that killed four million people
in 1917 London.
Onion boils of 1912!
No, it's where, so crab is so expensive
and like shrimp is so expensive
that people have now resorted to onion boils.
And they've also started doing like crab sticks,
like surimi sticks. Oh, that's just smart. And also tomatoes, like they've also started doing like crab sticks, like surimi sticks.
Oh, that's just smart.
And also tomatoes, like they do tomato boils like in the tomato mix, and people swallow
them whole.
Oh.
And it's so obscene.
They're mukbanging it?
They're mukbanging it.
God, that's, that sure is something.
Listen, I kind of agree with that thought process though.
We're mukbanging right now though.
We're mukbanging right now.
We're not better than anybody.
Yeah. But I love that general thought process though of like,
here is a format of eating that I love.
However, it's expensive product, just put cheap product in there.
It's so smart.
I would eat like a seafood boil with just sausage, potatoes, corn and eggs.
You know what I mean?
The eggs? Hard boiled eggs just covered in that sauce?
Sign me TF up.
Yeah, like I'm down to eat the cheap version of that.
Yeah, me too.
You know, be throwing a chicken drumstick in there.
Like sure, why not?
That's just a great way to eat food.
Okay, next up we have Wingstop Atomic.
Oh no, you got the Wingstop Atomic, GD it.
It says, it's the hottest we've got.
Find out for yourself, Josh.
I care about you so much
that I got bone-in and boneless for you to try.
Oh fudge.
Do you, okay so, for those of you that aren't watching.
I'm glad I gave the El Puey Loco an eight on spice thing
because I've had, I haven't had these in probably 15 years.
Am I gonna, am I gonna ruin, is my life gonna be ruined?
I don't think you're gonna,
I don't think your water's gonna break.
I could.
What if it does though?
It's way too early for that.
I don't know how those.
It's literally too early for that.
I don't know how the body works.
You really don't know any,
I literally told you I was four months like five minutes ago.
I, someone recently I found out though that
The gestation period of a human person is not nine months. It's like 40 weeks. Yeah
Well, it depends. Which that is pretty close to nine months. Yeah, it's more like ten months
Because four weeks are in a month. There aren't four weeks in a month
There's like four point three seven weeks in a month. Okay, go be a scientist somewhere else ugly
You're so annoying
To be fair, I'm also not reading any books. I'm not doing any research
I'm kind of just raw dogging like motherhood and I'm pretty sure that if my
Obese saw what I was doing right now,
he would literally kill me dead.
Do you think Woodrow Wilson's mom was like, Oh, well, let's read a book
about gentle parenting and home birthing.
No, she ripped it.
Also, like one in four children died.
Sure. I get that.
She ripped it. Also, like, one in four children died.
Sure, I get that.
Yeah.
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So I was saying before Josh started asking about gestational periods, this is
so covered in different forms of chili flake that I'm...
Can I dip it in the sauce?
No, I need to eat it without putting in the sauce.
Yum.
That's tasty though.
Tastes Armenian.
It tastes Armenian?
Yeah.
What do you mean it tastes Armenian?
It's strong and
vinegary and black peppery. That's good. A little compliment. I know it's good. I didn't think it was an insult.
Mmm. Shout out to the dude at my gym that I talked to and then randomly his content
got served up to me and he just drives around Glendale and reviews the best laminjuns. Oh my god I comment on
this all the time like you have to go to Taron Bakery. Dude hell yeah. Welcome to the dark.
That's my gym nicest guy. Okay this is really. Yeah I go to a celebrity gym the laminjun review
guy from Glendale goes there. What's up? That guy is great. Should we go on a ride along with him?
I would love that. I'm gonna message him. I'm gonna message him. That is re- the amount of vinegar and black pepper in there is really really delicious.
I wasn't anticipating that though at all. I thought it was just gonna be heat heat heat heat.
What's up? I got one with more pepper dust on it. Uh-huh. This is this spicy. This is a 10. This is a 10. I'm having a great time.
I sort of stopped eating ridiculously spicy foods, but I really do miss it.
I miss that adrenaline rush that I get.
You almost never get it from fast food.
Yeah.
Wingstop's a little bit different because they're not fast food.
They're a wing joint.
Does anyone sit in a Wingstop?
Do people sit in Wingstops?
I don't take food home.
I love sitting in every restaurant.
Every? In and out. What Does anyone sit in a wing stop? I don't take food home. I love sitting in every restaurant.
Every?
In-N-Out, Taco Bell. What if it's scary?
There's no, I'm not, I'm the six foot two, 210 pound. Oh yeah, I forgot. White guy. Like I've never been afraid of anything in my life.
Society has taught me that I am never a prey. I keep going back to this. You know what I mean?
Yeah. You want to put it it down and you do put it down
But then it like wings at you and it goes. Hey, don't forget about me over here. I'm kind of the wing stop atomic wings
Do you think that that's better than L play? No, cuz mango habanero chicken. No, I don't you couldn't eat a whole meal of this
Did you had a death wish maybe?
Wow, I can't I can't eat more than that.
Yeah, it's hurting.
I'm hurting for a squirting now.
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna give this a 10 on the spicy scale
but a five in a flavor scale.
Only a five, but it's really well seasoned.
It's really delicious.
Damn.
But I would rather have the dichotomy of sweet,
tangy, chickeny goodness with the bonin
mango habanero chicken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think that's better. But hear me out. What if you dipped El Pollo Loco in mango habanero chicken. Cause I think that's better.
But hear me out, what if you dipped El Pollo Loco's
mango habanero chicken in Wingstop Ranch?
Hey, hear me out, I want you to live your life.
I want you to be happy.
Your happiness is actually so important to me.
It does mean a lot.
It's true, you being happy is really important to me.
That's a ton of spice for sure.
Nothing else is gonna beat that, right?
No, I don't.
I still give it a seven on flavor.
Woo!
I mean, it's really well done.
Should've had ice cream on the side.
That'd be nice.
Run my lips over, cause it's,
I feel like I, like, I adjusted a lip injector.
I ate too much ice cream with a sexy Italian man earlier,
now my tummy hurts.
Oh, this guy and his Italian.
Everyone's obsessed with Damiano David.
Maybe you should. Rock star.
Maybe you should marry him.
Yeah, you think he's down?
Seems to be in a very loving relationship,
as are both of us.
Can you open the hot, the pot?
Okay, tell them what this one is.
Okay, so this is called Spicy Buffalo Nugs from Wendy's.
So I think that this is a direct answer
to Chick-fil-A and all these people.
I even did this one time. Do you remember when I covered chicken nuggets in sauce
and you and Trevor almost vomited by my actions?
Did I vomit?
Did I threaten to vomit?
Yeah, you and Trevor were like, bleh.
I don't know that I did that.
I think that's a mischaracterization.
Sorry, bestie, I didn't mean to mischaracterize you.
Sorry, I'm not here to ruin your character.
These are spicy buffalo nugs.
And can I please tell you the long line?
Because I'm kind of obsessed with all these spicy long lines.
They've got drip. They've got sauce.
And no, we're not talking about a fit check.
We're talking about Wendy's new saucy nugs.
You heard right. Saucy nugs.
They told us we couldn't make our classic nugs better.
But it's too late. We already did.
For a whole new way to nug, it's gotta be Wendy's Saucy Nugs.
And I also got a side of Ghost Pepper Ranch because everybody loves a Ghost Pepper Ranch.
So a lot of people are like, oh, some 23-year-old marketing intern came up with that copy.
No, that's a VP making 210 grand a year with stock option bonuses at the end.
They came up with that, with the thing about the drip, you know, and the fit.
Dip it in the Ghost Pepper Ranch.
Oh, I sure am.
So here's the thing.
They've sauced the nuggets for you, but then they're serving it with an additional sauce.
I got the additional sauce.
Ah, okay.
Which is wrong.
I shouldn't have done that.
But I felt like we couldn't talk about spicy fat fast fast food options without talking about ghost pepper ranch because their ghost pepper
ranch has no ghost pepper flavor whatsoever. What are you talking about?
You're tasting ghost pepper in that? Yeah. It's a lovely like tangy spicy aljoli.
That's right not ayoli but aljoli the Spanish version. You hang out with
Damiano David one time and now this This guy's ego's out of control.
You don't taste ghost pepper in that?
No, you taste ghost pepper. You taste ghost pepper.
Not like spicy. I taste pepper!
You taste ghost pepper.
Ghost pepper has a flavor.
I think there's ghost pepper in the Wingstop wings.
Josh, me and you are fighting and I don't like it.
That's fine. I hate these so much.
Yeah, they're nasty.
This is... You know what this is?
This is when...
At the end of the night,
you know, you come back, you're a little stony balloons.
All you find are the Tyson chicken nuggets in your freezer.
You put them in the toaster oven,
and then you see the bottle of Frank's Red Hot in the fridge
and you go, what if?
I mean like, dump it on it.
People are doing it on TikTok.
Let me do it too.
Yeah, it's, but I don't think it works with a nugget.
It works with a boneless wing.
A boneless wing is a whole piece of chicken that is actually like you're right right fried in a flower dredge
This is your breadcrumb on wet spongy
Processed chicken which is great when fried crispy by itself you are correct when you saw that it turns into like a weird matzah ball
Which is crazy because me and you love fried thing in sauce, but not in this not the nugget
So it doesn't have enough heft to it. No you're right. You're right. You're right of fried thing in sauce, but not in this example.
Sorry I'm disgusting.
The nugget doesn't have enough heft to it.
No, you're right, you're right, you're right.
It doesn't do it, but I will say
the Ghost Pepper Ranch is fricking delicious.
If we were just rating the Ghost Pepper Ranch,
I'd give that like a seven on spice and a 10 on flavor,
but we're not testing that,
we're just testing the saucy nugs.
I'm gonna give it a seven for,
I'm gonna give it a six for both actually.
I think taste on the nugs, I give a four. Spice with the ranch, I'll give it a seven. The ranch
is great, that's the star. They should be dipping the sauce, they should be saucing the nugs in that.
Just oh my god. Okay so when I found out what uh honey walnut shrimp was, oh yeah yeah, I was like
Honey walnut shrimp was. Oh yeah, yeah.
I was like, flumming.
I had no idea.
When I worked at a, let's say fast casual,
place in Torrance, in the Torrance mall,
and I was responsible for making the spicy,
not the spicy, the, what is the shrimp you said?
Honey walnut.
I was making honey walnut shrimp and honey walnut chicken.
The fact that it was just spicy mayo heated up
was a shanda to me.
I was shocked.
Yeah, that delicious creamy sauce on your hot sweet shrimp,
it's just like mayonnaise and sugar.
Sorry about that.
Hot dressed mayonnaise.
So like, I don't disagree with just dressing your nugs
in hot mayonnaise.
Yeah.
You eat a lot more hot mayonnaise than you think.
That's my big trick that I'll die on.
Josh, I made a big mistake
and I microwaved the Popeye's chicken in the foil bag because
I thought the foil bag was fake.
That's a wild gamble to take.
That you saw that you're like, I bet this is fake foil.
And I full on, I almost burned down the office and I told Carly, hey, you might smell fire.
I'm sorry, that was me.
She's like, okay, Carly's our front desk.
Yeah, Carly don't care.
Carly's never cared about anything.
Carly unbothered perennially.
Especially the shit I do.
Definitely not.
She's never cared.
Nah.
Except when she compliments you.
Oh my God, does it absolutely make my day?
I love when Carly compliments me.
We pass each other on walks during lunch a lot.
Yeah.
So this is...
30% of the time we wave.
Ghost pepper chicken sandwich.
Buttermilk battered chicken breast.
Here, I'll... you eat it.
Oh god, this looks good.
With Popeye's new ghost pepper sauce.
No!
Served on a butter toasted brioche bun with barrel cured pickles.
Now, they also just have like...
Oh, I thought you meant B-E-R-Y-L.
Like a girl named Barrel?
Yeah, but isn't Barrel, what is Barrel?
Like...
Like a girl named Barrel.
One, if you're a girl named Barrel,
you're probably really hot,
and you're probably a barista
There's one girl named barrel on YouTube who'd makes great content
I feel like barrels of work though No, it's? It's a barrel, what are you talking about? A barrel. B-E-R-Y-L.
No, it's not, it's a-
Barrel.
No, B-E-R-Y-L.
I think it's like a plant, right?
Well maybe because the name comes from somewhere.
It's a mineral, it's like a plant.
You thought that it was a mineral.
Barrel is a rock.
You thought that it was mineral cured, you thought that Popeyes was doing mineral cured pickles?
You're so stupid.
A little bit.
Okay.
Also, like I was saying, they do make other ghost pepper items.
I just wanted to eat it in sandwich form because it's my life.
Yeah.
Mmm.
You think ghost pepper is like 15 years old at this point?
Probably even more. I mean, but like 15 years of popularity.
It's crazy that fast food places are still putting it out there.
Ew! That has a little kick to it.
Are you getting a lot of spice?
It's a little kick.
But that's pretty good. It's the most delicious thing I think we've eaten.
The Popeye sandwich, the fact that people have had five five six years to catch up now and still haven't uh-huh
Incredible like this is the greatest fast food item ever created since the Crunch Up Supreme
I really want to try the pickle glazed one mmm. I think that would really benefit my life. Yeah
I think they're probably made a good bet on that pickle menu because I
I watched the commercials for Popeye's new like pickle ways everything. Yeah. Um, and I was like
who the hell wants that? And then I realized oh you're no longer like the dominant culture
target demographic as an old person. And this is all the young freaks out there on TikTok,
you know, just eating pickles covered in tahini all the time. And pregnant girl.
And pregnant girl. And pregnant girl, that's you. Yeah, I wanna eat it for that reason.
Incredible.
This sandwich is so dick.
I know, this is the Popeye sandwich.
I give this a 10 on taste, I give it a six on heat.
I agree with you, million percent.
I think this could be so much spicier.
Delicious sandwich.
Delicious, nothing can beat this.
Do you think that the sandwich is better than the,
I'm sorry, is better than the mango habanero,
el pollo loco, the bone in chicken?
I'm eating that el pollo loco,
mango habanero chicken probably like twice a month
for the foreseeable future of my life.
I'm probably not gonna have this sandwich
for another two years just because I-
This is indulgent.
This sandwich is indulgent.
But this is legitimately,
the Popeyes Goat Chicken Sandwich
is maybe the best fast food item. god that's really good and they also
have just a regular spicy one but the ghost pepper kind of sends it a little
bit a little bit into like a different stratosphere for me I have a question do
you think this would be better with like a little slaw on it I think so I think
what the hell is that dude that was her body so body. Is that you? Yes, ignore it.
Yeah, I can't really burp,
so I do this little burgle thing and I can't control it.
She has this thing.
Whoa, wait, you don't burp?
Not really.
Yes, it's a disease.
It's not, what?
I have a disease?
It's a disease.
What?
Meggie, you're very brave.
It's a syndrome.
What?
I saw it on TikTok and it was girls
just opening their mouths saying like, ah.
It's like the grudge sound, uh, it's like that.
You can't control it.
You've been doing this podcast for five years
and you just heard it now?
It's been-
Maggie, I'm sorry I don't pay enough attention to your-
It's been five years!
I don't know what to tell you.
That's fine, that's fine.
Cut that out.
You make Maggie feel bad.
Why'd I make Maggie feel bad?
You made Maggie feel it.
Maggie, which one of us made you feel worse?
Neither. You're both fine. Make you feel bad. I make me feel you made me feel it Maggie which one of us made you feel worse
That sandwich was really good, but guess what I think it's time for our first boiga Oh, it's not just a boiga. They say just a boiga. No no no this is the El Diablo thick boiga
What was the accent you were doing? I just followed suit
You did you said boiga? What was the accent you were doing? I just followed to see what you were doing. I didn't do anything.
You did, you said, boyiga.
And then I did an accent where I talked about the boyiga.
Oh my god. Stop it.
You're making me so angry.
You know what? I think fast food burgers get better when they sit for 30 to 45 minutes.
No, I'm not going to.
Okay, let's, so there's...
I can't eat that! I'm gonna die!
What do they call this when you put a leaf in a book?
You press the flour.
You press the flour. This is pressed bacon into the... into the bun.
The El Diablo Thick Burger, when this came out, this was like, maybe my favorite fast food burger out there.
So they had the audacity to put whole ass jalapeno poppers into a hamburger
Yeah, charred boiled all beef patty two strips of bacon jalapeno poppers
Pepper jack cheese jalapenos and our fiery habanero ranch on a seated bun bacon distribution on point
You can have the first bite, sure.
Oh no, Nicole here, I'm so sorry.
No, please no.
No, Nicole answers.
You love this burger.
I did say that.
You love this boiga, eat it.
Josh, actually, didn't you remake this burger one time?
Now that's a fantastic boiga!
It sounds so dry in your mouth.
Is that just in your mouth
That mouth sucks all that must be dry
Call me call me the anti Nancy Reagan
No sloppy on this topic
This is absolutely man, that's called a sandblaster. It's just gonna be dry and abrasive. That's gross. This is the worst thing I've ever had in my life. Well, can I try one thing? Check this out. What have you
dipped it in a Wingstop Ranch? I'll tell you what, the thing we're learning today is every fast food is made better if you have a bucket of Wingstop Ranch nearby.
Josh, that burger is abysmal.
It's not even spicy.
Yeah.
Huh?
That's a huge bummer.
That's not what I remember.
You know what I miss?
I wish that we had more, we have El Pollo local representation, but I wish we had more
Mexican food representation.
Like where's, like I wish Taco Bell had their volcano,
you know, their volcano line.
I feel like I'm gone delirious.
That is kind of interesting.
We've taken like, I mean, El Pollo Loco is Mexican.
But I'm saying that's the one.
I'm saying that.
You said that.
You don't know Popeyes?
Popeyes. Popeyes?
No, they son de Louisiana.
No son de Mexico.
I'm gonna give this a two.
Two out of ten, two out of ten.
Spiciness and flavor.
Taste without the ranch a three, with the ranch a seven.
Taste a three, spiciness a four.
Man, I still conceptually, I love that hamburger.
You know what I mean?
No, I don't know what you mean. You have fried pockets of cream cheese and pickled jalapeno. It did eat weirdly acidic
It's from it's from the it's all the pickled jalapenos. There's probably 15 pickled jalapenos on there
And that's the only spice. I also don't like pepper jack cheese. Why would you put here's my thing?
Let me soapbox for one second you have this burger where there are probably 12 pickled jalapeno rings on that burger.
No, you're gonna like this.
And then you have like three whole pickled jalapenos in the jalapeno poppers on there.
Then they have the audacity to say pepper jack cheese.
That's a whole slice of jack cheese with probably a quarter of a slice of jalapeno studded inside
there.
Yeah. How the fuck are you going to taste those little slice of jalapeno studded inside there. Yeah, how the fuck are you going to taste?
Those little chunks of jalapeno a pepper jack cheese is a farce every cheese is a farce
It's not a type of cheese
Pepper Jack Jack is a type of cheese pepper jack cheese is the cheese that America has been lying to you about
Oh American cheese American cheese. It's not real cheese pepper jack cheese is a real cheese
Oh, American cheese, American cheese, it's not real cheese. Pepper jack cheese is a real cheese.
Bless you.
It's jack cheese that they put little chunks of pepper in.
It's not a separate type of cheese.
Just eat regular jack cheese and put some hot sauce on it.
Grow up. Thank you.
Grow up, dude.
I've been saying that forever.
I like your vibe today.
What's this vibe?
Please commenters be gentle
because we're in a silly mood.
And if you don't like this, we'll be different next episode.
I don't think so.
What do we got here?
Fiery Royal Crispy Chicken by Burger King.
God damn it.
Crispy white meat, breast, fillet,
coated with our triple pepper fiery...
Stop burping it.
It feels hard.
Wait, triple pepper fiery glaze,
topped with savory sauce,
lettuce and juicy tomatoes on a toasted potato bun.
Hmm, triple pepper, what do you think those three peppers be?
Pepper, Jack...
Pepper X.
Pepper X, Trinidad, Scorpion,
Jalokia.
And that's it.
Yeah, could be like a bird's eye pepper, the piri piri from Mozambique. I'm just going to assume.
I'm forgetting those there.
I'm going to assume it's black pepper.
Wait, West African scotch bonnet.
Paprika and like cayenne.
Eat it.
The Naga viper.
You eat it first.
Oh, probably chile manzanilla.
Well, that lettuce.
No, chile manzano, chile manzano.
That means apple, right?
Manzana means apple.
Well, our Spanish is so good. That lettuce is... No, no, Chile Manzano, Chile Manzano. That means apple, right? Manzana means apple.
Well, our Spanish is so good.
Hey, you wanna pivot to like a relationship podcast?
Yeah, Maggie, you be our first customer.
Please no.
What do you mean?
We're so kick ass, we're both married.
I think, I think we got the...
One of us is having a baby.
What's the secret? What's the secret to a great relationship?
Just like don't expect much from anybody.
Actually, yes. Actually, yes.
Drop your expectations by 30 to 40%.
Yeah, like just drop your expectations.
Find someone that you can just exist silently in a room with for the end of time,
because that's the best we can hope for.
Truly. These romantic ideals from a Hallmark card.
This has no spice, this has no flavor.
The chicken is hard, the bun's hard,
the tomatoes are too soft.
The hell's going on with that sandwich?
Bergen, you had years to respond to Popeye's diss track
and you did this to us?
Are you getting any spice?
There's like a little. Tastes like homemade, but in a home where there's no love. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It tastes like a homemade chicken sandwich, but not a good one.
Ultimately, we did learn a lot from all this.
I know. First of all, I'm so proud of myself for not throwing up because I did
throw up in my mouth twice before this podcast started. I don't know if you knew that or not.
No.
And then I also learned that I could handle an atomic wing from...
That's really big.
Yeah.
That's big. I learned that all I want to eat is alpoyoloco till the end of time.
Truly spicy grilled bone-in chicken is the food group that I eat the most of in my life.
Right.
And I love that. I will say the wing stop, I haven't had these atomic wings in
literally probably 15, 16 years. They're really good. Since I was a kid and will say the Wingstop, I haven't had these Atomic Wings in probably 15, 16 years.
They're really good.
Since I was a kid and like took the challenge or whatever.
That's just a great well-seasoned wing. Wingstop does good work.
Wendy's, God bless you.
Popeyes chicken, best chicken sandwich in the game.
And then Carl's Jr., I hope, keep hanging in there.
You know?
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Well, all right, Nicole.
All right, Josh.
We've heard what you and I have to say.
Yes, we have.
Now it's time to find out, what's the time to find out?
What other wacky ideas are rolling around in the universe?
That's crazy, because I guess I've said that every time for like several hundred episodes.
And I've heard you say it.
Crazy. It's time for like several hundred episodes. And I've heard you say it. Crazy.
It's time for a little Psych-My-Wig call!
Opinions are like casseroles!
Do I have anything in my teeth?
No, just teeth.
You got teeth in your teeth. You're like a shark.
I don't know if you know this, but Nicole actually has multiple rows of razor sharp teeth.
You don't see it. You You know the Jewish stereotypes that go around
I've never heard the teeth one, but I'll take it you can barely see her horns
Shaved him down
I like to eat, um, I like to eat mustard with, um, pizza rolls. Thank you.
Mustard with pizza rolls, small child.
That sounds really, really good. I also love mustard with pizza rolls.
Do you like yellow mustard and Dijon mustard? I think you're a stone ground mustard kid.
I think they're a yellow mustard kid. And I think this works on a couple levels.
Because one, pizza rolls don't have a ton of pizza flavor.
No, they're just pockets of goo.
They're kind of just pockets of mildly flavored goo.
Which I like.
I love them.
But you need something sharper than even a ranch.
Dipping pizza rolls in ranch, you can get by.
It's delicious.
But mustard, there's a piquancy to it.
I would try maybe half yellow mustard, it's delicious. But mustard, there's a piquancy to it. What I would try, maybe half yellow mustard,
half ranch dressing, see where that gets you.
Oh, that sounds good.
I don't know that I've ever eaten a mustardy ranch.
You mean like a Dijonais situation?
A little bit, but I feel like there'd be
a distinct sharpness in there.
That's fun.
Great opinion.
You have astute tastes.
Sounds really good.
I'm going to try it.
I would like to say, this is Rachel from New York.
I would like to say that I think miso soup is Japanese Gatorade.
If you wake up after a long night of partying and having fun,
and you drink some miso soup, it is the same as drinking a Gatorade.
Thank you.
Okay.
I'm gonna give it to Rachel over here.
I will say, Rachel, I think you have a great point about miso soup. One, having a lot of electrolytes, and two, being very great for like when you've come home from a late night.
I will say, I think your analogies need work.
What is sh- what do you mean?
What do you mean, it's Japanese Gatorade?
I feel like there's a lot closer products in Japan
to Gatorade. Like, Pokari Sweat.
Have you ever had Pokari Sweat?
What is Pokari Sweat?
Meggie, Google Pokari Sweat.
Meggie knows what Pokari Sweat is.
I know what...
It's so good.
This is the Japanese answer to the Gatorade question.
Yeah, Japan literally has a Gatorade called Pokari Sweat.
This is crazy.
I've never heard of it. It's so good.
Oh my gosh, I lived off of these when I was in Japan Yeah, Japan literally has a Gatorade called Pokari Sweat. This is crazy. I've never heard of it. It's so good.
Oh my gosh, I lived off of these when I was in Japan because your girl gets dehydrated
quickly.
Is there a flavor to it?
Just like mild sweet water.
I think is the best way to describe it.
Why is it called Pokari Sweat?
I don't know.
Maybe the company is called Pokari.
I suppose so.
I suppose in Japan it probably might have different
sort of meaning.
Maybe, but I do love miso soup,
but the only thing is when you drink Gatorade
after a night of drinking,
and if you vomit it up, you know what I mean?
That's nice, I like it.
That's nice. I like when it's blue.
But if it's hot soup vomiting up, tough time.
Mixed with alcohol in your tum-tum
Yeah, Jaeger and Miso is not gonna taste great. You know I've never had a Jaeger shot. Oh, you're forgetting it
You gotta wait a couple months
Afterwards I really want to have a Jaeger shot when you give ya a good Bob's call me up
I'm gonna come deliver a Jaeger Bob to your recovery room. Oh, that would be so nice.
And you're sure, you can come.
Are you doing a home birth?
No, I'm getting...
Woods?
You going to the woods?
I'm going to Cedar Sinai.
Oh, crazy.
Weird.
I always wanted a water birth at home though.
But then...
Like a seahorse?
Yeah.
But then I realized, I think I just want to be around doctors.
Yeah.
Know what I mean? Yeah. I also saw just want to be around doctors. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I also saw Manchester by the sea
F'd me up. There's a birth scene in that
I've never seen that just really see any of us Maggie. No, I'm not not that level
I still got us. I guess I gotta watch sinners. Oh, can we go watch sinners together? I really I have so little time
If we just try to connect hey, I'm just trying to connect. Okay, that we can take it. Just trying to connect. Hey, hey, I'm just trying to connect.
Okay.
That's it, I'm just trying to connect.
Yeah, if we can take a day off of work.
Josh, you're the boss.
Yeah, I guess so.
Of me.
I don't think we're gonna end up seeing centers
and theaters together, but.
All right, next opinion.
I like that Hailey Stanfield.
Hi there, I'm Hannah Corn Josh.
Hi.
It's Dick from upstate New York.
I have a unique life hack that other people think is weird,
but I was wondering if y'all ever heard about it.
For my entire life, whenever I would have hiccups,
my mom would tell me to eat a spoonful of peanut butter
and the hiccups would go away.
I've been doing this since I was young
and I'm like a college student now,
but whenever I tell people,
hey, eat a spoonful of peanut butter,
they'll get me fine.
I was just wondering if y'all have ever heard this,
or if you guys have any other different ways
to get rid of hiccups.
But all right, thanks, let me know, bye.
This is a fascinating story of anthropology.
I've definitely heard of that,
and I Googled it with Reddit
at the end, peanut butter hiccups Reddit,
and it definitely exists.
My favorite way to get rid of hiccups is to scare somebody.
I love scaring the hiccups out of people.
It's a talent.
I don't have a problem with hiccuping.
I've never had a problem with hiccuping.
But I did, like some people, well, so I dated somebody
that would, if she started hiccuping at the bar,
she would have to go home.
But then sometimes also, if she just got mildly upset,
she'd go home.
She really loved going home.
But the point is, she would also have really bad hiccups.
And it's a problem that I can't.
Like loud, or like her whole body,
what do you mean by bad?
Loud, whole body rolls, but the worst thing is they wouldn't stop persisting.
And she tried every remedy.
So it's good that she went home.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Instead of just like being like a miserable bore,
just like hiccuping all over the place?
Yeah.
Ugh.
Yeah, yeah.
She did the right thing.
She would have lost either way.
She would have been that annoying girl.
Sure, we have a lot of empathy for the hicc empathy. We have a lot of empathy for the hiccups
I have a lot of them if she just stood there at the bar hiccuping flailing over she sounds like she flailed about
Yeah, like and then she'd be like oh, and then it would come back really fast
She did the smart thing and she left I would have like just taken a walk maybe around the block
Yeah, and like drink water really fast
It wasn't really about the hiccups.
Is it about the relationship?
Yeah, I think so.
But anyways, the point is,
I don't know that science has fully figured out
what hiccups is or how to solve them.
What?
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
I don't think science has fully figured out
what hiccups are or how to solve them.
I'm sure they know what hiccups are.
Yeah, they do. It's whenever like your like, your like windpipe just gets like agitated like, beep beep beep.
It goes like beep beep beep beep, something in there goes beep beep beep.
Yeah, but anyways, I don't like if there was a scientific consensus on how to cure a hiccup
I feel like doctors would be telling us what are they hiding from us? We don't know.
So I think peanut butter is about as good as anything. I think if you do anything to disrupt your current hiccup pattern,
you're kind of doing it. And so I think eating peanut butter is just as good. More importantly,
you know, Hailey Steinfeld's uncle is Body by Jake.
Are you for real? I'm dead for real. I loved Body by Jake. He's a very handsome man. You
know, I grew up with my mom having buns of steel and like arms of steel,
like and like lots of body by Jake videos on VHS.
Haley Steinfeld's uncle.
I love that. Haley Steinfeld, come on the show.
Absolutely. You're gorgeous.
Oh, got the edge of 17. What a movie.
Never saw it.
What you said you have all the opportunity in the world.
I want to watch True Grit.
I would also a great movie.
Also like her first acting role. I want to watch true grit I would have also a great movie also like her first acting role I want to watch true grit Maggie do it bumblebee oh my
god the end of the dick of the Emily Dickinson show yeah did anybody watch
this this show Dickinson oh my god great like weird modernist take on Emily
Dickinson you've got to watch it. Next opinion.
Hey, Josh and Nicole, long time listener, first time caller. Just wanted to let you in on a little skit I found recently.
Next time you're dipping your Oreos,
just add a little splash of coffee or cold brew
into your milk there.
It'll add an extra flavor that is phenomenal. Anyways, love the pod, just
wanted to let y'all know. Have a great day.
Aw, that's nice of you. This is not that groundbreaking and I wish you called with something a little
bit more...
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Slow to roll.
No, I'm being honest. You know, that's what the hotline is for, is for like hot takes
and like I thought that was really milk toast and I don't I don't like it
I don't think it's milk toast I think it's milk Oreo and I think it's really smart I think it's smart
you've heard people say that before it's not out of left field well I think
that's what primarily what makes us so sorry butter bee it's not completely out
of left field oh milk and coffee sounds like a latte to me We kept dipping the Oreo in it. We all know that like you add
Espresso to a chocolate baked recipe to make it taste more chocolatey
Oreos already exist add the espresso to the milk to make the thing taste more florals for spring groundbreaking
Wow, you're gonna say that check out this picture my computer
What is with you, this is a screenshot from the show Dickinson
Are you in love with Haley Steinfeld? I'm in love with her body of work
You know and then but do you see who's next to her?
Yeah
Everybody hates Chris what it's Wiz Khalifa
It's weird anyways Wiz Khalifa. It's weird. Anyways, Wiz Khalifa plays Death.
Yeah, that's right. Hailey Steinfeld plays Emily Dickinson.
But she like uses modern language and curses.
And Wiz Khalifa plays Death.
It's a great show.
It's wild, dude.
Really thought he had a...
Just thought she cooked on that one, huh?
Well...
I did a little racism, I'm sorry.
Oh, yeah.
The black guy looked like the other black guy.
I'm sorry!
You know...
You've thought whites look similar too sometimes?
Yeah! Well, on that note... You know, you've thought whites look similar too sometimes. Yeah.
Well, on that note, thank you so much for listening to Dog is a Sandwich.
We got new audio-only episodes every Wednesday and a video version here on YouTube every
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Leave a quick message at 833DODOG-POD-1.
Have you composed yourself yet?
No.
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See you next time.
Nicole B. Professional.
I can't.