A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Ranking Celebrity In-N-Out Orders

Episode Date: June 3, 2026

Today, Josh and Nicole taste and rank celebrity In-N-Out orders! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah, let me get a double-double mustard grilled. Let me do the onions two ways. Let me get those fries extra light. Oh, lemon pepper on the fries. I'm going to do a Neapolitan shake, two putt patties, and let's do a couple of flying Dutchmen. Now order it like a Kardashian. Um, what?

This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, a hot dog is a sandwich.

The show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Kosh Kardashian. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaitian. That actually could probably exist. Anagian, yeah, yeah, I agree with that. We're talking about the Kardashians, of course, this entire podcast is about. Are they a net positive or negative for society? You know, I think that's a great question, and that should be another podcast, not one that we do.

Sure. I think you should go on someone's podcast and... Well, I'll tell you what, I don't know much about them. I really, really don't. I know... Do you know how... I mostly know them through NBA players. I know their connections to Lamar Odom.

Yeah. And other connections to Tristan Thompson. Uh-huh. And then there was another... Chris Humphreys? Yes. They were married for, I believe, 76 days. Chris Humphreys, I don't believe, had a very long NBA career.

I think he was... Who cares. Not as long as Lamar and Tristan. Who cares? Sure, well, I guess that's my only one's into it. Didn't C3P, not C3P? C3PO? C3P, Chris Paul, CP3?

Yeah, didn't CP3 date Kendall? I really don't know. I don't know. Can you fact check me on that one? I feel like Chris Paul has been in a relationship, but the point is I don't know what's going on with them, except for like occasionally someone will, Kendall tried to stop racism.

Racism with Pepsi. Yes. And I think she did it. Successful. She's successful. And then Chloe put protein into popcorn. Yeah. And they had somebody called Food God.

Mm-hmm. He was doing all kinds of things. Yeah. You honestly, that's all you really need to know. I will say this, but the reason why we brought up the Kardashians in the intro is because we will be eating celebrities in an out orders. Yes. Now, if there's one thing you should know about celebrities is they love it and out, especially after they win an award, specifically in Oscar, a la Michael B. Jordan, a la Paul Giammati. Sure.

You will see these lovely winners holding their little golden statuettes and ordering a number two with a Diet Coke. Yes. And so what I did once when I worked at Los Angeles Magazine is I camped out at the In-N-N-Out near where the Oscars were being held. The In-N-Out on Sunset. And I camped out there for about eight hours that I tried to see if I could see any celebrities. But then there were none of them there because all of the after-parties were catered by In-N-Out. So I didn't see a single celebrity. Sorry, man.

But yeah, I still took photos of strangers against the Will and published them. You know what, actually, now that the Austiors are normally at the Beverly Hilton, I believe that the closest in and out is actually the one in Westwood on Gaylee. Oh, I know. That was my college in and out. That was my college in and out. I have been. I didn't go to college at UCLA.

Yeah, fair though. But how many times we've been drunken that in and out? 50. 50? I mean, from the ages of 16 to 21 to 26. I'm so shocked. I'm still shocked. I'm still sure that you and I never crossed past.

Maybe we did. Maybe we did. Like at a frat house or two. There was one time when I was like 16 and I went to that in and out at like one in the morning and I ate two double doubles. And then I was still hungry. So I went to the Ralphs and I bought. I know that Ralphs. Yeah, it's a nice Ralphs.

And I bought a four pack of Eclayers and ate them all. The things, the way we mistreat our bodies at all ages. So this right here, this is Kim Kardashian's go-to order. Oh my God. So. This is the Kim Kardashian. K's go-to. What are you doing?

Stop! You can't pick up a fry! Stop! I'm frying my match! I'm fissed it! I hate you! So this is a very simple order. It is a cheeseburger with nothing on it,

cheese fries, and a vanilla shake. Wait, with nothing on it? Look at it. There's nothing in there. Look, there's nothing in there. Not a thing. That's horrifying.

In and out is not the kind of place where you can get a plain cheeseburger with nothing on it. Wait, I've never even seen this before. It's actually less sad than I was imagining, but it still looks pretty sad. Because, I mean, this is like, um, this looks like a frozen AMPM kind of burger. This is something a five-year-old would get. Interesting.

I know nothing about Kim Kardashian's tastes in food. I don't think she does either. She's not a big eater. I don't know. Yeah, you don't say, ooh, I do know a connection between Kim Kardashian and a hamburger. So back when Carl's Jr. was doing all their sexy ads. right? Oh, I love those ads. I used to write a lot about Carl's Jr. sexy ads because they really like framed a lot of my attraction to food and other things for a long time.

I grew up without a lot of role models in my life, and so I really had to look to the television for it. Carl's Junior ads for you? Carl's Jr., yes. Dude, there was a Garles Jr. sexy burger ad where hot women were playing volleyball across the U.S. Mexican border. In an effort for peace? In an effort for peace, but also there was, it might have been the El Diablo Thickburger. And I don't, and it was literally like, like Mexican guys and American guys like drinking on either side, looking at each other suspiciously. And then deciding, you know what, we both have hot, scantily clad chicks and that's cool.

Peace, man. Anyways, Kim Kardashian. Some people say peace through strength. I say peace through hot girls. Kim Kardashian. Well, it's supposed to have a Carl's Jr. Burger commercial. And apparently they could not get her to eat the burger sexily enough. And so they pivoted on the day to her, like, eating the cranberry pecan chicken salad in a bathtub.

I remember that. You know what I remember from that ad? The dressing drip. Yeah. And how stylized that looked. And I'm like, wow, how did they do that? So that's where my thought was whenever I saw that ad. Can you eat a burger in a sexy?

Kerm Kardashian-esque way? Yeah, I'm doing it. Is this you doing it? I'm doing it. Hold on. Hold on. That was actually. You really tugged at it over there.

Yeah. So I'll say this about the Kim Kardashian meal from in and out. It's boring. It's very dairy forward. You know, there's a lot of dairy going on and there's not much else. Cheese fries are not the way to go in and out. I think that makes the fries worse. The fries in and out, this has been debated to death, they are kind of objectively not good.

I think if you distract yourself with enough BS from the animal style fries, which are Thousand Island grilled onions, they're really caramelized onions. They're very finely minced. They're carbonyzed onions. They're frizzled onions. But this burger is interesting because I've never just had a plain cheeseburger with no condominance from In and Out. I've never thought about the quality of meat from In and Out. It's well-season. It's well-season.

It's very well-seasoned. is well-toasted. This is, like, nice. It's good, yeah. It's real beef flavor, real cheese flavor, and the toast flavor is actually very, very pleasant. I mean, that just shows that the quality or the cook on the meat stands up to itself. That's pretty impressive.

You taste a lot of fast food burgers and, like, a McDonald's burger, it tastes processed. Of course. You know, their standard burger, they've gotten better at cooking their QCPs. QPCs, 4' pound of cheese. But this is interesting. Yeah, again. It's a fun way to meditate on the flavor of a hamburger without having just like a ton of lettuce. Which I do love, because that's what I go to In-N-Out for.

I'm going to In-N-Out. I'm going to In-Out. Yeah, I'm almost there to have a salad in a bun with a little meat puck that accents it. Same, same, same. That's to me what a hamburger is. It might not be right. What does this vanilla shake do for you? Does it do anything?

Never get a milkshake in and out. I never get a milkshack. I never get a milkshs. I never get a birthday. I mean, they're pointless. For me, I mean, let me tell you, I will dabble every now and then. What's that one place? Shake Shack. Shake Shack has like really good quality dairy, I feel like, or maybe, again, it's just like the way that they prepare it. I think it's wonderful. Like, they're soft serves and their custards and their concretes. Like, I'm all about that. The shakes don't do it for me. No, in and out milkshakes are really sort of at the bottom of the barrel. Melted ice cream.

Yeah, well, so the thing about their milkshakes is they have a bunch of chemical thickeners in them. So when it melts, it doesn't get thinner. Is that what that is? Yeah, right? It's almost like that shaving cream consistency. There's a lot of ice cream. I kind of want to do a whole podcast about Hogandah's ice cream. Oh, what is ice cream? Kind of, because like, so a lot of these ice creams that people love, they're like, oh, this one is so thick and creamy. It's actually just coming from like gel and gum or guar gum or carcinan or carcinan, you know.

But like when you look at Hogandah's, and I would generally make excuses for those ice creams by saying like, well, at the industrial level, you need to add those thick. in, otherwise you're going to get weird melting problems, yada yada. Hagendaws is one of the biggest ice cream brands in America in the world, actually. Mm-hmm. And their vanilla ice cream is like five ingredients. And it's good. It's like milk, cream, eggs, sugar, vanilla salt. And that's it.

They have no stabilizers, no thickeners, and it's good. I don't care about it. They've proven that you don't need the gums and the gels in order. And I think it tastes the best. This isn't from like a clean label health perspective of me, my ice cream, man. We don't care about that very much. But it just tastes the best. And so I don't know why in and out is adding all this chemical thickener to their shake.

I don't think it makes it a better product. I think Carl's Jr., crazily enough, they started doing hand-dipped shakes about 10 years ago. Best fast-food milkshakes. What's a hand-dipped shake? You scoop the ice cream, you put the milk in it, you go br-oh. Oh, they do it. Oh, that's nice. You scoop, you go br-oh.

You go scoop, you go, and then it's a good milkshake. What would you rate this meal? Two out of ten? I haven't given to five. You can give it a five? I mean, it's not my taste, but I appreciate the simplicity of it. If you ask me, like, what's the worst in and out hamburger? I'd probably say just, like, well, a plain burger on a bun.

If you ask me, what's the worst version of the fries, I'd say that. If you ask me, what's the worst thing you can put in a cup of it in and out? I'm saying the vanilla milk check. I give it a five. I think it's so run-of-the-mill standard. Everything is so standard here. There's no fun sauces. What it would have been standard.

I've never seen anybody order a burger like this. Okay, I'm sorry for saying standard. No, you can say, Nicole, you can have your own opinions. I'm sorry I yelled at you. But you think they're wrong opinions. That makes me sad. I don't you think I'm wrong. You're giving yourself brain freeze.

No, there's no brain freeze to get because it's so thick that you can't get any through the straw. And once it gets to you, it's warm. Anyways, I give it a two. I give it two. And what about Kim Kardashian? What do you give her as a rating? A rating physically? No, just like all-encompassing.

I don't. Seven. I used to be a Kim Kardashian hater, but then I got a little bit. older and I'm like, she's doing her best. I just don't think there's any, like, virtuousness in that level of wealth. Of fame? Of fame, of wealth. I don't think that she's achieved all of these things to increase her happiness or

total good in the world. Maybe she's happy. I don't know. I don't know her enough to know. I don't know her enough either, but knowing what I know about general patterns and fame and money, I think there's even research I would go into it. I'd say she's probably not very happy. Did you know that she started as a closet organizer?

She organized rich people's closets. She sure did. And her father was... Robert Kardashian. Of the OJ trial thing. I, you know, she's certainly accomplished a lot of things. And I think, and I hope that's great. What?

Is that okay? You did great. Did I walk the fence enough for people to not get mad at me? We are going to try another celebrity's order just a second. I love it. Next up is Zendaya's. Hell yes. So this is just a grill...

And I think I know something about Zendaya's dietary preferences. Oh, go ahead. What's up? I believe Zendaya is a longtime vegetarian. Correct. And this is a grilled cheese with grilled onions and extra spread. Simple, delicious. I would rather have this than a plain cheeseburger from In and Out.

Okay. So let's talk about the grilled cheese. I used to be a grilled cheese connoisseurred in and out. It was the only thing I would get. Not because I didn't like the meat or I was like vegetarian or kosher. I just love the way it tasted. The, like, marriage of the cheese with the spread. It's animal-style toast.

It's animal-style toast. It's wonderful. And the crunchy veg? I know. Oh, it just did so much for me when I was a kid. I didn't eat a meat puck. I grew up going to in and out with so many South Asian people who did not eat beef or meat in general. For religious purposes?

Yeah, religious, but then just sort of cultural. So, like, my, I was big in the South Asian people. Asian Acapella community at UCLA. What? Acapella? My roommate, Shiva Ramamurthi, was the lead soloist for Naya Zamana, UCLA's premier South Asian Acapella group, and I was there in Rupy. And I would, so I would...

Like pitch perfect? Yeah, dude, but all South Asian. So a lot of like kind of Hindi songs, a lot of... No, do-wap? No, I mean, they probably have some do-wai. They had some contemporary, but it would shift back and forth and traditional. So anyways, I'd go to in and out with a lot of vegetarians. and boy, could they sing.

God, they were good. I think their beatboxers Filipino, though. This is incredible lore. Did you not know this? No, this is the first time you've ever told about the Acapella. Quick aside, so I lived with

the two Italians, so I've talked to death about. And then Shiva Rama Murthy, who was like, I've known him since middle school. You never told me this. He was in like a lot of the honors classes and stuff like that. You know, probably like top 15, 20 student at my high school.

Just yeah, like really smart cat. And he was on the tennis team as well. Whiz at ping pong. Wow. I get to school. I end up hitting him up, and he's like, yeah, I'm looking to leave my apartment. So it's me, Shiva, and the two Italians. And then he's hanging out with a bunch of friends, and, you know, they're all South Asian.

And we're all chatting. And they bring up, like, his singing. And I went, oh, I didn't know Shiva sings. And they all thought I was joking. They were laughing. They're like, what? And he's like, yeah, so I didn't tell anybody growing up in our hometown. But I'd been, like, going to India to play music and sing professionally since I was, like, 13 every summer.

What? And I was like, what? And anyways, yeah, he is just a professional carnatic musician. I don't know what is. Shiava, what I ran into a deep sweating recently. God bless, that's so cool. Yeah, but he was like the king. Like, he was just, you know, the king in UCLA.

If you're getting shipped out at 13 years old to sing professionally, you clearly have a talent. Dude, no, he's mad talented. So anyways, a lot of fun memories go to eat and out eating grilled cheese with a Nyazama homies. That's so cool. You have the first bite. All right. I'm meeting the first bite. And I'm going to tell people about this spread over here.

So there's a lovely little running meme about how people from California eat in and out with their spread and there's like someone with like a bucket that dips their whole entire like forearm into it to be funny This is just objectively a really really good burger sauce and I don't understand like the weird pseudo hate it gets Is there pickles in it? Is there pickles? No, but you need the pickles to cut through the fatiness of of the sauce and the cheese. There's enough pickles in the spread. Is there? Yeah, yeah. Okay, I can. trust you. Okay, I'm going to go in. I love the end and outspread, by the way. Dude, this is 10 times better than a plain cheeseburger. You don't even need the meat buck. You're right. The pickles are totally cutting through. You know what this eats like? This is a weird reference. A beach sandwich. You know like a beach sandwich? A sandwich you make on the beach? You kind of make it and bring to the beach. Oh, so it's made and you bring it. That's what I view

as a beach sandwich. Okay, because I am all about making sandwiches at the beach. Oh, I hate that. Why? Because you get sand in it? Yes, that's the worst thing that can happen to a sandwich. Wash your hands. What do you mean? It's called a sandwich. Hardy hard, Nicole. Hardy, hearty, heart, Nicole.

Hardy, hearty, hardy, har. It's so funny and cute. It's crazy. Shout out to Zendaya, because you recently made warm eye contact with me, and I thought that was really nice. No way. Yeah, so I went to Tom Holland and Beiro, his company, which is really good, non-alcoholic beer.

Cool. They hosted a Paddell tournament. Paddel is the pickleball of Latin America, but it's way more fun. It's like indoor racquetball meets tennis meets pickleball. So you can play it off the back wall. It's really fun. I have legitimately joined a... This is more lore about me.

I've officially joined a Padale club. Okay. And I'm going to devote my life to the sport. I don't devote your life. You have other things going on. Not really. No, it's kind of just this. I don't know.

You got the show. You got your wife. Wife can play Padell. Is she a part of it? No. Okay. But I really miss leaning into a sport. But anyways, I was at their pickleball classic.

And I said, thank you so much for having me. And Tom went, hey, cheers, mate. And then Zendaya made a nice warm eye contact with me. How sweet. They were, like, very much a very regal couple. I'm sure. I mean, I'm watching Zendaya on Euphoria right now. Wild Ride.

What a great actress she is. Wild Ride. Does great work. She has great taste in men. Great taste in fast food. And great taste in giving Joshua more my contact. And I thank you very much for that. Also Zendaya or Tom Holland.

Come on the show. Let us make your last meal. Not this one. Come on the other show. You want. No, no, no. No, no. It'll be fun.

Go on last meal. We get 10,000 comments saying Zendaya and or Tom Holland, please come on last meals. We promise that they'll make you a delicious spread of food and also ask appropriate. That's not provoking. It's too long. It's really wordy. Yeah. Well, comment below how much you want to see Tom Holland and Sunday.

What are you rating this? 10. Oh my gosh, I'm going to give it a nine. It's a unique point of view. It's such a perfect and essential in and out order. It reminds me of my childhood. Yeah. Which is, honestly, whenever food does that, it's pretty special.

Next up, Josh, we have Tana Mojo's celebrity in and out order because she is a celebrity. Yes. She's a YouTube celeb. Yes. My hat keeps falling off. I'm leaving it off. I don't want it anymore. I have a question.

What? What are the verbs that Tana Mojo does? On her videos. I'm very sorry. I'm not familiar with her game. So I have a little synopsis about her. A vlog? Okay.

Tana Mojo is a prominent American internet personality, YouTuber and podcast hosts known for her candid story time vlogs, chaotic brand, and higher profile controversies. Rising to fame around 2015, she built an eight-figure empire, including ventures and only fans, music,

and her own failed convention, TanaCon. So most of my entry into Tana Mojo. Mojo. Yeah, it's spelled Mongeu. Mongeo, which is French. But this is Mojo, Tana Mojo.

I mean, that's probably through like years of Americanized. That's how she prefers to pronounce it. Yeah. She had a convention in I believe 2018. Was it 2018? Was it that? Oh, my gosh. Wait, Monjo maybe derived from eater.

It might mean eater, like Mongeau, like someone who likes to eat. Sure. Or Mange, which means monk. Oh, interesting. Was that 2018, TANNACON? I believe TANN was 2018. It was counter-programming to VidCon. Yes.

And it seemed like it was kind of set up to fail the whole time. Well, she didn't think that. I don't know. Do you remember there was a guy in a segue? There's a guy in a segue. There's a guy in a segue. At TanaCon. I don't know.

It all flashes in my memory. But this is her in and out order. Yes, let me tell you what it is. Before you dive in, or just go ahead and dive in. So this is... An unsweetened iced tea. A flying Dutchman, a double-double mustard-bustard with ketchup and mustard. Add chopped chilies, add chopped caramelized onions, animal fries with chopped chilies.

XL. Ice tea. First of all, I've never seen a drink cup this big. No. Massive. Massive. Oh, my God, thank you. I don't know if I knew the internet had a drink cup that big.

Ugh, I don't like unsweetened iced tea. I love it. It needs a little bit of lemonade. Yeah. Or a little bit. So what do you feel about flying Dutchments? Flying Dutchman? This is a weird thing in and out does where you can just order meatpucks with cheese on it.

And during the carbophobic years of our lord in like 2004 to 2026. Right now. There seems to be a popular thing. I remember going through the In-N-Out drive-to. And an Orange County almond mom driving a yellow H2 said, The bun is the only thing that's bad for you. I actually ate just 50 grams of saturated fat. She didn't know any better.

And cheese. I know, we're all products of our own environment. The Flying Dutchman, I don't understand. Surely anywhere you can just ask, you can go to Carl's Jr. You can say, I'd like two burger patties of cheese, and they'll, like, find a way to give it to you. Yeah. It's me that this has a name for me.

It's fine. It's beef and cheese. The Flying Dutchman onion wrapped is the unsung hero of. Yeah, that's fun. Oh, no. So onion wrap, you can, you can request it in and out that they take any vegetable they have. have and turned that into a bun as opposed to the bread.

So you can get lettuce wrapped, you can get tomato wrapped, you can get onion wrapped. Reminder, we live in California. People are always going to be a little bit carpphobic here. Yeah. Because the standards of beauty keep getting higher and higher and higher and higher and we can't keep up. So we have to find ways to be, quote unquote, skinnier. Sure, yeah, yeah. And eating like a freaking pit bull on their birthday, eating a flying Dutchman, just beef and cheese.

Yeah. And that does it for people. Well, there's another secret menu item that is meant for dogs called Scooby Snack. Mm. You're going to say, give me a Scooby snack, and they will just give you a beef patty. That's very close to the Flying Dutchman, which is a huge snack. I would say they're almost the same thing. They're basically the same.

Exactly. Pitbull's birthday, not the singer Pitbull, like the dog Pitbull. I feel like a pit bull on their birthday. I kind of love this order. This is sort of like a ball-no-no-no-ers-order. Tana Mojo knows ball. I regrettably, potentially. I don't know.

The last thing I want is Tana Mojo to know who I am. Why? Maybe you guys can hang out. I don't know. That part of YouTube scares me so much. The one that seems to really thrive off of controversy. We've stayed somewhat controversy-free for like six years. You know what I mean?

I'm opening the floodgates, baby. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't know. I don't know how to explain this. I never really wanted to be here. Tana, come on the show. You know? I never wanted to be here.

I wouldn't tell stories about food And then somehow My baby, Tanna, what are you doing next week? Somehow I ended up in this strange world Come on, I didn't grow up watching YouTube I don't know what this place is about And you never watch SpongeBob either So what?

I know, but I'm saying I grew up like reading books and magazines And I thought I was going to do that Okay, books and magazines are dead I know, but they didn't have the weird controversies Some books were controversial You know, sure, yeah What am I gonna, am I Salmon Rushdie? I

That take would get me canceled Borders the time I just don't know who these people are I'm sorry You know who Tama's I know who she is Is she part But does she like

Run with the Paul brother She was with the Paul brother I believe she was engaged To Paul brother For like in like 100 hours Or something Well fucking duck I'm gonna eat this burger

Because it sounds so delicious These fries are awesome Dude chopped chilies What's your in an hour What's your in an order? Can I eat this first? Fine I'll talk to you guys About mine

mind changes but I went to in and out a week ago on Saturday night it was late and I was kind of looking to flex a little bit so what I got is a double

double onions two ways add chopped chilies animal fries and diet Coke I don't you're saying Josh I'll have food in a diet Coke while I only wanted to die Coke and I had a nice time but I kind of regret

not just getting a single cheese cheeseburger with whole grilled onions. Because I think that might just be my favorite. That is so good. What is this now? I will tell you right now. I just don't want to get it wrong. You know what I mean?

I don't want to disrespect. This is an insanely good burger. Oh, man. Tana. You know exactly who you are, baby. Screw, I'm a huge Tana Mojo fan now. That's going to be taking out of contact. I love Tana Mojo.

I mean, I'm in love with Tana Mojo. Maybe you guys can get engaged for like an hour. Really cool. So her burger is a double double mustard fried with ketchup and mustard add chopped chilies, add chopped caramelized onions. Jesus Christ. And to be fair, I did get this order from her TikTok. Like, she is actively ordering this entire meal on her TikTok. Isn't that such a good burger, Josh?

You're a wet burger. She's incredible. Dude, the... This is the wettest I've ever had an In-N-N-Out burger, which is a compliment. But again, like, the spiciness of the mustard is so good. You finish that burger Dude, 10. Like,

This is a 10 out of 10 order for me. 100%. 10 out of 10. You leave no stone unturned. The only thing is, instead of an iced tea, I would have done a Diet Coke. That's it, baby.

But still I got it. So good. You got it figured out, Mama. Oh. Slay Queen. Yes. Is that it? Is that it?

You want more food? You want more? Have it? Oh, there's one more. Okay. Come on For context We just ate lunch

I did not eat my lunch I did not eat my lunch I did not eat that's so smart I ordered my lunch But I didn't eat it Because I'm gonna have it for dinner I was eating that car I was going

All over that curry chicken salad I'm gonna get the other burger now Can I tell you something I think about a lot? What? How your whole body could fit into that If you tried really hard

That All cups are reusable right Yeah But some people have like reusable cups or water bottles that they'll just lug around and carry. Why couldn't I just do that with an in and out cut? I mean, it might get, I think it might hold on to bacteria for a long time.

What if I don't believe in the germ theory of disease? It's just a theory. So you're a Christian scientist. Mary Baker, Eddie was right. But I've tried that and I just, remember when I was drinking out of an old Campbell soup can for a while? Yeah, you were doing it for the bit. Yeah, I know.

But have you ever thought about just like not doing things for the bit and just living I don't think that we can ever completely dissociate from the bit. I think we're all doing things to the bit all the time. You know what I mean? I think every clothing choice that we make that's doing it for the bit in one way or another. It's just what you want to be perceived as.

Is the bit perception? Yeah. Always? Of course. Yeah. So my in and out order on the rag. No such thing is authenticity. Well, yeah. Sure. Sure.

Everything's curated. Sure. I agree. Are you happy? Yeah. We see I die now. Yeah. My in and out order always varies.

I'm always chasing perfection. I'm like literally trying to chase the dragon, but the dragon is not there. I do find myself more times than not ordering a double double, though. Double double, bun well done. Add extra sauce, animal style. Add extra pickles. add a flying Dutchman onion wrap. That's four burger patties.

It's a lot of meat. But you eat the flying dutchman onion wrap on the side. Yeah, it's like my hors d'oeuvre. And I don't get french fries there. I like to have the french fries. I like to dip something in ketchup. I dip the flying dutchman in ketchup. These are well-done fries.

Yes, they are. So this is chef Ludo Lefebvre. Ludo Lefevre. This is his in an out order. It's a double-double protein style with well-done fries. If I were to get any fries, I would get well-done fries or light well done. I was there with someone who ordered extra light fries.

Ew. We made mashed potatoes. Oh, my God. They were so pale and oil. It's like that Sichuan dish. Yeah. Two dos it. Yeah, that's what it's called.

The shredded potatoes that are kind of like raw. Oh, it's so good. It's one of the best dishes in the world. Yeah, but that's not the... No. And then these, you taste a little bit of oxidation. I like the oxidation. flavor. You know, it's just a little bit of it. And they never quite get crispy so much as just a little bit dried out.

I like when I find the little nugget that's really, really, really, really, really, really well done. That makes me feel alive. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I do now accept well done as, like, an appropriate way to try and save it in and out fries. Right. Also, for people that don't know who chef Ludo is, he is a very famous chef that has done incredible things for the Los Angeles food scene. He has a restaurant called Petit Trois, which has one of the best burgers in L.A. Tuamek, which is like a multiple Michelin-Star restaurant. Tuamek and then Twa family. And Ludo Bird inside the Staples Center because I refuse to call it the CryptoCrypto.com. Yeah, no one calls it that.

No one calls it crypto. And then this is a protein-style burger because he's trying to watch his figure, I guess. I have a cookbook that has a sexy shirtless photo of him dragging, I believe, a tuna out of the ocean. Okay. I'll show it to you. Okay, please do. Yeah, yeah. I have his cookbook.

Also, Ludo is, this is a little known fact, I don't know if you know this, is the inspiration behind my How to Cook Pokemon Chef Persona. What? Yeah, yeah. So me kind of like standing there, I didn't want to do a French accent because it would have been too much. But me just kind of standing there, like dead-eyed delivering to the camera very seriously how I would cook and eat Pokemon. It was because I saw a video of Chef Ludo, and he was at Petitua. And I feel like I could tell somebody from his PR team or social team was telling him, hey, there is a trend.

called a butterboard and showed him a couple videos. And he's in this video just going, I'm a French chef, of course, we eat a lot of butter in France. I understand there's a trend called a butterboard, and France, we do not put the butter on a board, but today I suppose we will do this. And then he just spreads butter on a board

and puts like mald and salt on it. He goes, yeah, this has been a butterboard. He's so sad, he's like trying his best. He's a fantastic chef. He's a fantastic chef. I want to eat his escargo real bad. how do you feel? I like the salad.

It's just a salad. It's a handheld salad. I think I'm learning. People call us simps for In-N-Out. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. I'm a Simp for In-N-O-N-O. I'm a Simp for In-N-Out.

I have so many fond childhood memories. When I won the fourth-grade SV-U-SD recreational basketball championship, we went to In-N-Out. I have happy memories with it that you probably don't have, unless you do have them. In which case, you understand how I feel about them. I love seeing the different ways that they've been. people eat and interpret in and out. I don't think there's any wrong way to eat it. Unless you're Kim Kardashian.

Unless you're Kim Kardashian. Because that's a really wrong way to eat it, man. This was delicious. I value the freshness. Yeah. And I love the raw onion. I find this to be absolutely delicious. And I echo your statement.

There's no wrong way to in and out. If you're happy going through that drive-thru or sitting at that restaurant, you're finding joy. You're finding happiness. If you're a drunk teen There's way worse things you could be doing If you're a drunk 21 year old I'd rather they be doing it

Where I can see them Than in the shadows You should be at the in and out parking lot Not driving You're gonna be a good dad one day I'm not driving I'll drive them through the internet drive through You're gonna be a good dad

Yeah I think you're gonna be a good dad too I am a good dad I'm gonna give this an 8.5 out of 10 Because I missed the bun baby Waite to me also All right, Nicole You're still nursing that Ice tea?

We'll tell you what, I got a Celsius Because I ate too much in and out And now I'm tired And now I need a Celsius to wake me up at this time It's just like crickety crackin' man You know what I mean? But we've heard what you and I had to say And now it's time to find out

What other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe And that means it's time for a little segment we call Opinions are like casseroles My opinion is that Celsius rules and it makes me feel alive. I also have five-hour energy shots because you can take them in TSA. You can put them in your pockets.

Sometimes, check this out. What I do... Put on your headphones. Well, I'm talking... I'll wear cargo pants and I'll just line all my pockets with five-hour energy shots and walk around and then I'll go,

God, I'm tired. Then I go, not anymore! Sounds like an ad. What? Sounds like you're doing an ad. No way, man. How's it going, guys? This is Glenn.

I am from Texas. And so, of course, as a Texan, it pains me when people talk trash about Waterburger. Tough, tough, tough, tough. That being said, I completely, you know, concede that a lot of it is not special, but I do want to say when people say, oh, in and out, completely superior to Waterburger, or people who aren't from Texas, aren't from the South, try Waterburger for the first time and say, oh, I tried it, it wasn't good.

I always asked, what did you get? And I will say, if you're getting just like a regular burger, just like the number one, yeah, probably not going to be anything super special. I don't think a lot of fast food burgers, if you just get, you know, catty cheese and the regular toppings, I don't think there's a ton there. I will say something like the spicy bacon burger. or the buffalo range chicken strip sandwich, those things, I think, are superior to a lot of other fast food items,

including most, if not all, of what In-N-Out has to offer. That is all, I said what I said. Goodbye. Let me address this point by point. When he says, most, if not all, of what In-N-Out has to offer, Nicole, can you tell me what In-N-Out offers? A number one, a number two, a number three. And even those are just, this is just a burger, a burger with cheese, and then two burger with two cheese.

Yeah. That's the thing that we're talking about. And a hot chocolate. Yeah, inexplicably. And the coffee. I love getting a black coffee at an out. But that's the thing. They make hamburgers, right?

They don't have any other things. So when people are comparing In-N-Out to Waterburger, in-and-out is a restaurant that makes hamburgers. You go to Waterburger, you get a hamburger. It is not as good. I've eaten so many different things from the Waterburger menu. I've never had it. Still to this day. I've been to Texas twice.

I've gotten the chicken. My problem is I'm mostly going to Waterburger at 2 in the morning. I've never gone during, like, when the A squad is there, but here's the thing. The A squad. You know what I mean? The A team. But in and out always tastes the same. They're remarkably consistent because they only have, they effectively have one item.

It's called a cheeseburger, you know, and you can guss eat up a couple different ways. I think ditto, Shake Chack has a couple more. Frankly, the original Shake Shack menu started as that. They kind of just have a cheeseburger. You know, now I got a chicken sandwich. But the chicken sandwich didn't come down to feel much later. But the menu exists, but the cool thing about in and out is it allows you to customize to your heart's content. But also within the framework of them being very consistent and only focusing on one thing.

Yes, yes. This is true, of course. You can customize it, Waterburger because they're like, well, while I'm worried about mustard grilling your patty, I also have to drop this buffalo chicken strip sandwich over there. Yeah, but they're not contemporaries at all, right? Like What a Burger and Jack in the Box are contemporaries. Sure, yes. You should judge what a burger against Jack in the box.

You know what I mean? In-N-Out, frankly, has no contemporaries, which is really fascinating to me. People talk about In-N-Out versus Shake-Shack. Shake-Shack starred 50 years after In-N-Out. Yeah, and they have chicken on the menu. You know what I mean? And they have chicken on the menu. You know, and they're a sit-down.

They offer beer at Shake-Shack. Find me a place that just makes burgers, and then we can talk. I agree. I agree. It's tough. There's In-N-Out truly. Does In-NNo have any contemporaries? None come to mind.

None come to mind. What started around that time? Because the in and out start at the same time as McDonald's, as Burger King, as White Castle, as all these other big chains. But what has, like, stayed true to form without investment, without, you know, letting private equity take over without merging? In and out. It's just in and out. There's nobody else that I can think that. For better or for worse, yeah.

In a note. Sure, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tough. The paddy melt. The Waterberger, they have, like, a patty melt.

That's nice. I'll give them that. Hi. My name is Aaron, and I'm listening to your most recent episode about testing viral food hacks. Thanks for watching. And Josh, you didn't finish your recipe for the cornflake bark that you and Chile make. And I want to know, you said I lay down a layer of chocolate. He lays it down.

And then you didn't finish the recipe. Oh. I want to know. Do you put. You're going to be really disappointed. Drag. Do you put. Uh, nuts?

Tell me more. You're going to be so disappointed at me finishing this recipe. So the recipe from our chocolate cornflake bark, as you said, I said, lay down some melted chocolate in a little bottle. And then my next move is I put some corn flakes on it. That's it? Well, to be fair, it is a chocolate cornflake bark. And all you need are chocolate plus X to make a bark. So actually, okay, so that's, that Julia is a bit of a purest, but what I would do,

for this, and sometimes we get a little crazy with it, is I will lay down, I will cut a banana into coins, maybe a couple bananas into coins, I have a plastic cutting board that's like, yay big around. You use plastic cutting boards? Yeah, I switch to plastic boards. You switch to plastic?

Yeah, why? Is that bad? Because everyone's doing the opposite. Oh, I don't know, dude. The kids are like quitting, vaping to go back to cigarettes now. I don't know what's going on. I just, I use plastic cutting boards. I can't believe you swapped to a plastic cutting board.

Why are people switching away from it? Because of microplastics. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? You can just eat plastic. It's fine. You're going to be fine.

Was it dropping testosterone? I don't know. You're going to find microplastics in your balls. Dude, I have everything in my balls. So anyways, what I do. Specifically pee. I do. After I finish storing the pee in the balls.

What I do is I cut a banana into coins, make sure you get extra microblastics on it. And then I lay that out. a grid. And then I drizzle a chocolate on that. And then what I do is I microwave some peanut butter in a plastic bowl with a plastic spoon. And then I drizzle the peanut butter on top of the chocolate.

Black plastic. Make sure it's black plastic. So at least... How does everybody just know? Listen, I eat a balanced diet. I do an hour of cardio every day. Like, leave me the fuck alone. You know what I mean? Everybody, there's new things all the time. You have a credit card's worth of microplastics

in your body right now. All the time where people are just like, you can't do this. It's like, leave me alone. I'm eating a goddamn banana. It's fine. I eat fresh fruits and vegetables. I do cardio. I give to charity.

Leave me alone about microplastics. I'm talking to my friend about the bark. Bananas, melted chocolate, drizzled melted peanut butter, because that's the way it can drizzle but gets hard again. Uh-huh. Cornflakes on top of that, sea salt. Boom. Put that in the freezer for 20 minutes.

Ooh. That's nice. You can kind of peel it off. What's up, Nicole? Oh, you should put some dates. You should flound some dates and then put it on there too. No, but thank you. My problem will tell you exactly about it.

I know why. Because they make your teeth hurt because they get killed me. It's not just because I have soft teeth. It's not just because the dates are too hard. My teeth are not too soft. The dates when you refrigerate them are too hard. Exactly. That's what I was saying.

When you refrigerate them, we're going to get soft teeth. It is because you have soft teeth. You should just get f*** dentures at this point. Just rip them all out and get dentures. I have, check this out. about five different kinds of dried fruit in my pantry right now. Not to flex on them.

But I do. So I have dates. I got dried figs. I have golden raisins. And then I have, I bought this at the store on a lark. It's maybe the best product to ever exist. It's ocean spray dried cranberries. But with blueberry lemon flavoring added to them. So it's like crystal light.

They are candy flavored crazins. Great. And they are... Sugar-free? Wonderful. full. No, they're so sugar. There's as much sugar as candy and it tastes like candy. I think they just made candy. But they're so good. But they're in a handful of them every night. Teeth hurt. So sugar. Stop doing those tears. Have you ever thought about just truly, just pulling out every single

prunes? I got prunes also. I know you love prunes. Just pull out all your teeth and then just get dentures. What is stopping you from getting dentures? Yes, the back of your phone says I love prunes. I left my phone in the office. Oh, you traveled without your phone? What's stopping me from get dentures? I don't know, man. My teeth are fine. They hurt you. No, not like on a day-to-day. Like a little bit. I think I can save them, though.

I can save the teeth. How? Do you censadine? Like a dentist. If you're sensitive. Remember when he had a censadine partnership? Oh, of course. You made super acidic food?

Yeah, they were like... I remember that? I made ostrich wings. Oh, those... They made ostrich wings for Sensadine five years ago. Times were different, man. Times are different back then. Well, I think there's more people that want to talk to us and tell us.

Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Hey, Josh and Nicole. This is Nicole from Missouri. Hi, Nicole from Missouri. And my good hot take. You're stuck in a winter of mine. That's your hot take. And someone who really loves ice cream, but also enjoys eating somewhere healthy.

Creamy is the best in this. Hey. Oh. Nicole from Missouri is in the eye of the storm. They do you have in tornadoes out there. That's the land of tornado alley is somewhere. Where? Oh, okay.

I don't know. I was in Missouri and they had tornado drills. Countries like Missouri. I'm not going to say. States. I'm calling the state. But go ahead. I know you meant. States like Missouri and like Kansas and like the Dakotas.

Why don't they just get like absorbed by like another state? So like it's just like a bigger state. Like you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So like yeah, South Dakota has an equal amount of senators to California. Like why does it just? It's pretty upsetting. No, I mean.

So if they merge, if they merge, then they would have less representation. in the House of Representatives. It has to do with the House of Representatives. Or sorry, in the Senate. But what I'm not saying is why... So there would be no incentive for them to merge, right? Isn't it more land? But what would that sort of get...

It would be more land for the larger governing body. But not South Dakota wouldn't have more land because South Dakota wouldn't exist anymore. I think it's a good idea. What is the benefit of collectivization? More land. For whom? Just everyone combines together.

That's less land. What are you talking about? South Dakota wouldn't have more land if they merged with North Dakota. They would just be from one big ass Dakota. Then Dakota would have equal amount of land now divided among the same amount of people. And all they would have is less representation. Whatever. A ninja creamy, never used it, never going to use that.

I was a ninja creamy denier until I used it and then I went Oh my God This is great Because I do what you do Nicole Where I couldn't hear

Her I couldn't hear What most of you were saying I'm not even confident Your name is Nicole That was the audio quality Was bad But your idea was good

Which is that ninja creamies are awesome because I'll take Bananas And proxing powders I love bananas And that They make you burr Bananas are great

bananas I think I'm allergic to bananas They make my mouthburn But I won't stop eating bananas because they're delicious, they're nutritious. They come from the earth. And, um...

What? They come from the earth. So does marijuana. And you should be allowed to smoke that if you want. You chew it on marijuana because it's from the earth? No, but I'm saying, I think the less processed foods we can eat probably the better, right? And then people will do no definition of process. What the big food companies want you to say, yes, there's a difference between eating a cob of corn and a cheetah.

I lied about the ninja cream. What I'm saying is, great. want to try it, but it's so expensive. How much is it a ninja cream? It's a lot of money. What I can do with a... Shut! What I can do with a Vitamix...

A Vitamix and Ninja Creamy? With the Vitamix, though, is it's... Yeah, you can. Yeah, I guess it's probably the same thing. What you're really doing is you're just kind of freezing stuff and blending it. Which is great. I'm not a big, like, I don't find myself, like, eating a lot of frozen treats like that, unless they're true fru's.

You know what I mean? Truefrews great. What I do is I... Like, scooping into ice cream, I don't really do. So I'll melt chocolate and I'll cut bananas into coins. And then Josh's getting dentures and then he's never going to eat things. And then I dip the bananas into the chocolate and then I freeze it. So I make my own Trufrews.

Well, you know. On the notion of like the volleyball playing of like the hot girls playing volleyball? I'll find this commercial because it's really a fever dream. Anyways, if you worked on the Carl's Jr.'s marketing team from 2001 till any time, please call us. Because our question is, what the fuck? What the fuck were you guys doing, man? I think this is the podcast that's going to get us canceled. I hope so.

Well, on that note, this is our last ever podcast. I think this is it. I'm going to miss doing this with you all the time, Josh and Logan. And the Kardashians. and somehow all that. But that is all to say. Thank you so much for your patronage. We invite us on page.

We're on Patreon now? No. Why aren't we on Patreon? We could actually be making money. That's, I mean, true. That's crazy. Well, anyways, we're over here on YouTube at the Hot Dog sandwich channel.

Nicole, you got something to tell them? Yeah, if you want to leave us a voicemail that we're never going to access, call A33 Dog Pod 1. Just kidding. The show isn't over as of right now. We'll let you know when it is, though. I think it's going pretty good.

We haven't been canceled yet. This is the episode. episode where we get canceled. I don't think we're going to survive this one. I think when we have Charlie Sheen on next week, that's going to be a toughie. I can't believe we booked him, though. That's pretty incredible. I'm not going to lie.

I got him mixed up with Emilio Estevez. How about their brothers? Their brothers. But anyways, so Chuckles is coming. I call him Chuckles for us. We'll see you on next time.