A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Ranking The Best Fast Food Fries

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

Today, Josh and Nicole FRY-NALLY taste and rank all of the fast food fries they could get their greasy hands on! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You can't be a fast food joint in America without a fry. And you can't be a fry without being Frenched. What does that mean? Ew, what's she doing? Oh, God. Is that what you do? I don't want to eat anymore. This is a hot dog is a sandwich.

Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a sandwich.

the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. My name's Josh Sherer and I made out with a hot dog. And I'm Nicole in Idy. And I didn't. Today we are not making out with hot dogs. That is next week. Check back audio-only episode. It's going to be gross.

That is a mean girl's reference. And they tried to say that she does another thing with a hot dog, but they would get an NC-17 rating. What? Yeah, you didn't know that? You're just dropping Mean Girl lore? Yeah, I used to go on... Okay, you want to know one of my...

Oh, what did she do with her? it. You want to know? I don't know. I don't know. Oh my. How did they phrase it? Can you write it down and show it to me? No. I think I'm getting trouble at work. Because made out with a hot dog never made sense to me. Yeah. I'm telling you why. Yeah. No, I know. So a weird fact about me is when I was younger, I used to go on IMDB and find out random facts about movies I really liked. And that was one that I remembered. I used to go on IMDB.com, internetmovie database.com, and look up random facts about films. I liked. I have a soft spot for IMDB because our very wonderful talent booking team that books our last meal's guests.

They also book for IMDB. Oh, no way. And so every time I see like an IMDB, you know, like a Glenn Powell interview about Top Gun Maverick on IMDB.com, I'm like, hell yeah, Kira. There you go. There you go. Book that. There you go. You book that.

You know? I also miss the time when you used to type in a URL and go to it. Yeah. Now you just got a little icon. You know, Addictinggames.com. Oh my God. Oh my God. I was on miniclip.com.

You're on minicliqlip? Yeah. I was a mini clipper. All right, P-Man. Well, speaking of nostalgia, we are eating all of the fast food French fries, at least the ones in our area that are roughly nationwide to try and get to the bottom of who does it the best. I see one here that a lot of people say is the worst. I do as well, Josh. I know.

Some would say in and out is the worst french fry in all of America. Many people have said that. A lot of people say McDonald's is the best. I've never... It's the goat, as people say. I've never fetishized McDonald's French fries quite as much as some other people. I feel like maybe David Chang was the first person. Really?

I saw really talk about... Dave Chang, I kind of came off the... I'd say culturally, came off the heels of Anthony Bourdain in certain ways. Bordane, I recently reread Medium Raw, which I think he wrote in 2008, 2009, and he praises Dave Chang so, so much as, like, the future of American food. in very many ways he was. Yes. But I feel like Chang took Bourdain's kind of this populism idea of elevating a lot of street food

that other people found very revolutionary at the time. He kind of took that to a whole new echelon. Right. Of really like venerating things like McDonald's French fries and speaking in a very punchy, hyperbolic way that I think was very indicative of that, like, 2010s era. You know what I mean? Everything was like competing with a BuzzFeed listicle online, so it had to be a crazy hot take. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And so it'd be things like McDonald's are the most perfect food in the world. And I feel like he had a take like that. And I don't know that I've ever found them that much meaningfully different from any of their contemporaries. I've never had my life changed by a French fry. I've never had a French fry that changed my life. Is there a best French fry moment? Not from a fast food restaurant. No.

There's no single bite of fries that you're like, oh, my God. Fries have always been such a constant in my life that I've never had a moment when I was like, this is the fry. I've never had that experience before. There was one at a very, very millennial restaurant. Which one? It was called the Bellwether. Oh, TBT. TBT. And it was from a former father's office chef. Wow.

Ted Hobson, who he had a really great patty melt there. But they had these fries that were like, it was like a four-day process to make the fries. And they were triple-cooked and served it with a housemaid hot sauce and ranch and yada. But I just didn't remember biting into this like, shattering crisp exterior and then getting this just like liquid potato center. I think he froze it to like burst the cell walls. Very cool. But fast food fries aren't that.

Fast food fries are... Well, sometimes, you know, in theory, they kind of are. Correct. I know what you're saying, yeah. The fact that they're like, they're done at a facility and then they're frozen and they're brought over talking about like breaking down the cell walls. I've never had a French fry from a fast food place other than in and out that's like necessarily like fresh out at the oven.

or fresh out of the fryer before. Sure, no, that makes sense. And, like, a lot of these are using kind of industrial processes, but that are... Science. Yeah, science. That could also be used in, like, a fine dining restaurant, right? Of course. Of course.

Of course. Of course. Of course. We're doing a lacy batter on some of these. You know, we don't have... Do we have... Do we have... Do we have...

Yes. I actually right here wrote the criteria for our French fries today are no crinkle, no curle, no season fries. No fun. No alternate starch version of fries and nothing that's been dipped into a batter. Now, I do see one French try that looks like it might be dipped in a batter. It's that one. It does look like it might have some microlacy batter on it, right? It looks like it does, but that's how they kind of do it. You ever hear about the cyclists

that cheat by adding like a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny motor to their bike? No, is that what Lance Armstrong did? No, he cut off the festival. He didn't cut off the festival. He didn't cut it. No, he like, Lance Armstrong had to Cicular cancer, but he also was doing a ton of, I think, EPO, like, blood doping. Oh, what's EPO? It's like artificially, uh, injecting red blood cells. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would like take an aerator.

He had his ways, but, but no, it's an entirely separate. So I ate the frags. I couldn't help myself. Entirely separate problem where they will put like a motor that it's not like it's turning. It's not like it's pedaling for them, but it might increase the rate or decrease how much tension they have to put on it by 1% and that 1% can win you the tour to France and make you millions of dollars. Illegal.

Illegal. And sometimes I can't find them. I feel like that's what Burger King did. They put just a microscopic amount of batter on the fries. Is it, is it a batter? Oh. I think it might be. So like to preface this, if you've ever had an Arby's curly fry or a Carl's Jr.

Orte's waffle fry, what they're doing, like there's a kind of orange crust on it that's always extra crispy and likely delicious. A croclan. A cracklein. What they're doing is they're taking a piece of potato that is probably already fried. They're dipping it in a very thin batter and letting it drip off. A super fun technique to do it home makes your fries delicious. And then they're sort of letting it drip and then frying it.

It looks like Burger King is either doing that or doing a technique to sort of beat up the starch. You know the Kenji roast potatoes? Yeah, whenever you like agitate the potato to make like little microcracks in there so they can get nice and fried. Josh, I don't know because whenever I went on the website, they said that it's yummy. This is what the website says, and this is not it. Yummy shoestring fries, fried to a crisp golden brown syrup piping hot with your favorite value meal, or as the star of the moment. So it looks like they haven't updated their website on them. BK. fries.

They're pretty good. That's good as hell, dude. I was not expecting them to be so good. Man. But is it even fair to even consider them because they have their little crockle on over it? Listen, dude, whoever wins... This is the Lance Armstrong? I participated in a sport

where they're now holding urine samples for up to something like 12 years, and they're retesting people's urine from 12 years ago and finding out that almost all of them were dirty and doping. Oh my God. I know. And so it's really hard, but the only

way to enjoy the sport of track and field is to imagine that everyone's clean. Because until proven guilty, because otherwise, you just drive yourself insane. Anytime somebody breaks a world record, what are you supposed to go? Oh, it's only because they're doping. No, you got to just go, wow, what a feat. And then 10 years later, you'll be incredibly disappointed. But you had fun in the moment. That's what I'm choosing to do with the Burger King fries. I'm choosing to useane bolt the fries. Go ahead.

Our other french fries are here. Our other french fries are here? Our outside french fries are here. It's not going to be fair because they're going to be so fresh compared it's okay. Logan, you want to make 10 bucks? Yeah. Hell yeah. Do you get the fries? Just to get it for free. Josh used to normally say a dollar, but his prices have gone out because of inflation. We could still keep eating if you want. I'm in, I'm in. Okay.

Logan will be fine. Burger King was what, like at 9? Dude, I can't imagine a better French friend when I just ate for Burger King. This is my perfect thickness of the fry, too. I don't need ketchup. I don't need ketchup. These are so salted. They're like brined.

They're perfect. If you were to make the best friend try you possibly could, how would you go about doing it? Oh my God. Freck. People ask me all the time. You know, they just saw me in the street. Like, he'd go. If you could eat any kind of French try, which one would you do?

Sometimes I see you on a street corner talking to no one, and I'm like, oh, God, she's a beautiful mind of herself. You're so stupid. I love that film. I haven't watched all the way through, but the parts I did watch, loved it. Crazy that people just say stuff like that. I love Jennifer Connolly so much. She's a great actress. What do you mean?

It's crazy. Nobody has a normal attention span anymore. Nobody. How do you expect people to sit down and watch a movie? I do it all the time. Oh, but you know what I don't do is I don't ever text anyone back. Yeah. So, you know, we all have our pluses and minuses.

What were we talking about before he said beautiful money? How would you make, God, attention spans are dying. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. I know you're doing laundry or cooking or something else. Or driving. Or driving and driving. You're probably doing laundry and driving right now. Attention is made them are so short.

Yeah. Hell yeah, Logan. Wait, they're supposed to be in a cup. It's okay. Thank you, Logan. So what Josh has in his hand is a little something I'd call five guys. This is crazy. Are they good crazy or bad crazy?

Um, okay, Burger King, I'm putting that a solid nine. There's so many extra fries in here. Oh, my God. Okay, so we're going to just eat these. Oh, it's so greasy. Because they're in front of us. We're going to eat five guys right now. Oh, my God.

And the good thing about five guys is, number one, they keep the skin on, which I like. Oh, my God. And I also fry in peanut oil, which I also like. We got to talk about it. We got to talk about five guys, man. What the hell's going on with the French phrase? It almost... If anyone has ever criticized in and out and then willingly just been like, yeah, five guys does a good job.

Fabricious is good. This is the soggyest potato. These are like German grandma fries. They're so good. You know what I mean? Where your German grandma just kind of like chops up a potato and just kind of put some willy-nilly in oil and doesn't know how hot it is. And then they come out just like hella greasy and she puts a ton of salt on it.

And it's like delicious. Yeah, but you know what's good about this? It's just greasy wet fried potato. Yeah, but it's well seasoned. And I like how it like kind of like all this starch just like steams together. and it turned into like an amorphous blob. It's a brick. But how do they even do that compared to in and out's fries?

I think in and outs fries. I think, first of all, they are so pale. They're like vampire style. You must be frying at like, but these are like starchy and like crisp on the outside. They're not good. But these are two. These are both just single fried fries, right? Yeah.

Yeah. These are entirely different points. Oh, I'm sorry. Five guys. According to the website, they're a double fight and 100% peanut oil. I don't know how else to explain this. But these, if like a first year culinary student, like made these fries. They would be killed.

And you were like, did you do the double fry method that we taught you to be like, yeah, did you soak them in the way? Like, no, this would be like a failing grade, right? This is, Nicole. These fries are just, they don't hold. They just fully. It's like, it's like, it's like, ubleck. This is crazy. Yeah.

Like how good with one, a fry should in theory stand up, but shouldn't fold like a piece of pizza, right? No, but it's still. It's a fun experience. It's still a good experience. It's a good eating experience. It's just not, I don't know if I would constitute, I don't know if it constitutes being a fry. It's just fried potato. It's not a French fry.

I agree with that. French fried potato. It's got to do it. You're talking about the French fried potato. You're going down five guys. You're thinking about the five guys. You get a normal hamburger. They give you two patties,

but then they get just the one patty on their hamburger. You have to order a junior hamburger. It's a silly affectation. They used to have the peanut shell on the ground, but all two men, them children have the peanut allergy. Some folk call it a waffle fry. Some folk. called a quick cut fry.

Josh, is this ablest? I killed him. Is this abelist? I don't listen. I don't care what liberal arts college you went to. I don't care how old you are. If you try and cancel Billy Bob Thornton for writing, directing, and starring in Slingblade, getting nominated for an Oscar for I believe all three.

He did all of those things for Slingblade? That's crazy. Would it stand up today? Maybe not. Maybe not. But I choose to believe that he did a good thing. Did I support it when he had a vile of Angelina Jolie's blood around his neck? Yes.

Of course I did. That was him, right? Who wouldn't want a vile of Angelina Jolie's blood around their neck? Are you kidding me? Sometimes I believe the Satanism. Just a little. Like, I have to. I want to eat more of it, though.

Can I have more? You want more of the five guys? Okay, do you want it? It's so much heavier than the other fries because they're so oil-logged. They're oil-logged. They are. They are just oil. But there's...

OILA. How many... You can slurp it up like pasta because it's so wet. Watch. What? I'm going on close. It's for you. I did it too.

Do you do that with a Burger King fry? I don't think so. No, there should be like a grit. It should be a crispiness. That's crazy. Josh needs grip. With that gorilla grip on the french fry. Josh needs his french fries to have a full gorilla

I don't know that I can give the five guys' fries more than... I'm going to give them a four. I'll give them a five because they're well-seasoned. They taste really good. I know. But they're not a French fry. I mean, I said Burger King at a nine is great. You know?

It's sad because I love skin on potatoes. Hi, my name is Lloyd Lockridge, and I'm the host of a new podcast from Odyssey called Family Lour. In this podcast, I'm going to have people on to tell unusual and sometimes far-fetched stories about their families. I've heard my whole life that she invented the margarita. And then we're going to investigate those stories and find out how much of it is true. He gets a patent one month before the Wright brothers. Oh, my God. Please follow and listen to Family Lore, an Odyssey podcast, available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows.

Speaking of which. Nice to which. You can't steal my bits that nobody likes. Of course I can. No one likes it when you do it. I've had to train myself to stop saying, nice segue, Josh. Thanks, Josh. In front of like A-list celebrities, though.

You know, I don't think like, I don't know, Julia Garner thought that was particularly charming. That's okay, man. I don't like these at all. After the five guys skin on potatoes, what are we doing here? These are just... They're dry. They're significantly worse than Burger King.

They're the same. roughly the same shape and cut. You're getting a lot of similarities in like shapes and cuts across here. I love the idea of a skin on fry, I guess, right? Why are you asking me? Do you? That's a good point. I don't know.

You spent longer, you spent more time in my head than I have in my own head. In theory, you would like a skin on French fry. No. Because you like stone fruit, right? Oh, stone fruit. So, like, in my mind, do you like stone fruit? You should also like skin on french fries? I mean like if I eat like the skin of a peach.

Yeah, you like the skin of a peach. I like the skin. Who eats kiwi? Some people eat cute. Do you eat kiwis of the skin? I've never had a kiwi. You guys, if you shut down this podcast, you get Logan and I'm . What do you mean?

There's a lot of fruits I have never had. Why? I don't know. I just don't think I'll like them. Like I've had them in things, but I've never had them. Well, what do you go to kiwi in? Kiwi doesn't sneak in a lot of places. I've never had water.

Okay, fair. But like, watermelon. I've never had, but I've had watermelon-flavored things that I know I don't like it. Oh, that's not even... They're, like, they're so far removed the watermelon flavor from watermelon. Okay, that's going to be... Yeah. Okay, could you come on the podcast and eat fruit with us for the next time?

Okay. For sure. Actually, yeah, it'd be really fun. Yeah. Because I don't... I don't think a kiwi... I don't think Logan would enjoy it kiwi. I think you should eat a kiwi.

You wouldn't like it. No, I think you would. What do you mean? That'll be part of the podcast. We decide... I eat a lot of them. Put a panoply of fruits. I eat a lot of them.

You eat kiwis? I eat so many kiwis. That's good for you. I don't know if I like them. My mom loves people that eat kiwis because she says it's good for their digestive system. She wants to hate me. It's okay. My mom will like you for other reasons.

Does Wendy's beat? These are like, they're structurally nice. Large. Long. I think they taste. There are three. They're three for me. They're a three for me.

I would still rather, I would still rather have these in five guys. Really? I give these a six. These are like perfectly... They're so dry. You mean to tell me these get a D? You'll hydrate them with ketchup. No.

Yeah. No. Come on, dude. Oh, they're that much different than Burk. Yeah, they are. We don't need to agree on everything, but I'm kind of disappointed that you are giving these a six. Yeah, the if you look at the Wendy's Fry next to the Burger King Fry, there's something about... There's something bodacious about the Burger King Fry.

And I like that. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. This is flexed. It's not wrinkled, you know? No. It's not a wrinkly old fry. It's bursting with potato starch.

This feels hollow. Yeah, Wendy's, I think you're right. It's not good. It's not good. I want the experience in my mouth to be different than it is. Burger King. What a job. What a job they've done.

They just revamped the Whopper, too. We should do a whole episode about that. We'll do that too. Hell yeah. Hey, listen, man. Whatever you want. Hey, yeah, yeah, you got good ideas. We got a McDonald's CEO.

He's out there, eating? If he could. Like a normal. human? If the McDonald's CEO can eat the big arch on camera, I can eat the big arch on camera. Josh, be a professional, please. I said the F word again. What? Actually, I said the F word.

You said the F word? Yep. French fry? Yeah. I want to eat McDonald's fries now. Eat up. These are obviously getting cold. Do you be a pro?

No, not berate me. No. You be a pro. I'm just, I'm just like that. Show the back, show the back, show the back. These are pretty pallid. They are pallid. Somebody undercooked these fries hot and the McDonald's.

A movie I saw all the way through without my phone recently? The founder? The Dracula movie. What? The Dracula movie. It's a vampire movie? Gary Oldman? No.

The new Dracula movie. There's a new Dracula movie? Uh-huh. Was Jacob Allorty Dracula? No. But it was really good. Who is Dracula? Caleb Landry Jones.

I believe his name is. These French fries are very pale-like vampire. Oh, that's what you're talking about. Yeah. I'm not a big fan. I don't like pale French fries. These are undersalted as well, because I don't believe they're salt brining them.

They're not. They're dusting a very fine salt on the outside. You can see them do it, but anytime you are leaving it to human error, I think in an ideal world, this is old oil, too. I did get one french fried that's well done. You see that?

Do you see the difference? Well, yeah, that's bad. No, I know. I'm saying, like, you know how every now and then you get like an Uber crispy fry that it's been. It was supposed to be pulled out three batches ago. Ooh, I found one. I used to love when you would eat french fries as a kid. And then I would have like a random curly one at the bottom.

Yeah. And I would feel like I was chosen by God. And what other moments do you feel you were chosen by God, Nicole? Just that one. It's like Jeanette McCarty, who. Got OCD, but it was like, no, that's just God telling me I need to do these things. Oh, no, I don't have that. I just, like, felt left by God when I would get a curly fried in my happy meal.

Is that such a grime? McDonald's fries, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've painted themselves into a corner. I don't like them. They've painted themselves into a corner. Burger gang, they're out here. They can, they can make their fries actively better. Uh-huh. Without people going, oh, well, you change the fried McDonald's.

Those fries have become so iconic that they can't make them better. You know what I mean? Everyone used to freak out. They were like, oh, the fries used to be beef tallow there. Think you're going to go back to it? Never, ever, ever will they go back to it? You sure? I don't think it costs effects.

But Sardar Big Larry did at Steak and Shake. Okay, and who talks about steak and shake ever? Okay, but like other than that, like I barely hear about what the heck steak and shake is all about. You don't get down to the steak burger? I've never had it before. It does like a hamburger. I will say, I think that McDonald's is good as an accoutrement to the rest of the menu. That's what I was kind of...

It's not a standalone product. It's an add-on. And you don't think it should be a standalone product. I don't think it is served to us as a standalone product. Yeah, yeah. This is meant to be like... Burger and fries. Burger and McNuggets.

Burger and McNuggets. Burger and McNuggets. Huh? Because nuggets are nuggets an entree or a side now? Oh my God, nuggets are obviously an entree. Wendy's, they used to be. They used to be when we were a kid. The nuggets were on the trays.

Now the nuggets are sides. You go to Wendy's, you get the four for formula? Well, that's because they're trying to get asses and seats in Wendy's, man. The asses are getting bigger and the seats are same the same. Wendy's is literally, they literally closed out a bunch of stores recently. They're just trying to get people in the door. They're trying to get people to go to Wendy's period point blank. You know what they need is to bring back the Frescata menu.

Asiago? And the Osiaga chicken club. Mm-hmm. Oseago. The Frescata menu. Wendy's, you go get a frescata chicken sandwich. And you would get a chicken salad. It was a chicken salad sandwich with grapes in it.

They had... Frescata. They were selling chicken salad with grapes in it? She'd sell grapes over at Wendy's, the Frescata menu. Oh, Wendy's. Yeah, they were like, what if we just serve deli sandwiches? Oh, Wendy's. I know.

They're pretty good, though. I like the frosty. Oh, well, okay. This French fry with a frosty. makes sense at Wendy's. What do you mean? The French fry? Yeah, but if it was a Burger King French fry

in a frosty, it would be even better. Oh, it would be. Oh, it would be. You can say all this about this is a standalone, this is a Kuchaman, whatever. You should have the best fry with the best burger. That's what makes it the best. There's nothing about McDonald's fry being mediocre

or a five guys fry being just completely squishy that, like, makes it a better side than an actual good fry. No way, no how. That's interesting. I mean, not everyone's always chasing the best experience. Some people are just trying to, you know, make end to meat.

How did Burger King? Burger King is standing alone right now as the best fry. You don't have a cluster? I wanted the cluster, but you gave me the biggest fry. It's phenomenal. Unbelievable. What Burger King is on. I wonder when the last time they revamped their fries was.

This feels new. I always remember liking their fries enough. Delicious. These are fantastic. We ought to go to Carl's Jr. I kind of don't want you. Too bad. I don't want to.

Carl's Jr., I've always had a very soft spot for it because it felt very California to me. And I guess most of these places started in California, not Wendy's. They're classic Midwest, not five guys. B.K. It was Florida. McDonald's started in California technically, but then kind of Illinois. So Carl Jr., to me, is kind of like... Americana. Yeah, it's kind of late.

It's that Southern California roadside, charbroiled burger. You know my favorite restaurants out in Northridge, Kingsburgers? They started as an original Carl's Jr. location? I did not know that. So they have an original charbroiler there. That is so interesting. But they're kind of like similar to burger cake in the sense. They're both charbroiled burgers, thicker fries.

I don't remember ever being like very impressed with Carl's fries. They're criss-cut fries. Their version of a waffle fry. That's actually a really well-done fry. Better than Wendy's. Does it have a patina on it or crack-lant on it? No. It's just good.

It's really good. They're skin on. They're significantly better than Wendy's. That is a really good friend fry. It's a good mid-level side. It's a little bit thinner, but it doesn't have that, like, dried out quality. No, but also it allows for more gripage. You can grab more french fries with your fingers.

You know what I mean? You can't do what you're doing with the Burger King franchise. The Burger King franchise are an individualistic fry experience. The Carl's Jr., you grab a handful. You're right. Carl's Jr. coming in. Really good. Coming in, clutch.

Really good. Impressive. Very well salted feels internally salted. I can't tell if that's true or not. It's so small, it doesn't matter. It's true. Isolating the middle of this front try. will do nothing for you.

I mean, I give this a solid eight. I'm going to give it an eight. Carl's Jr., well done. And we didn't even get a fried zucchini. I never got the fried zucchini. They have fried zucchini, and I cannot imagine that that has made a single dollar of profit since 1994. And they have not gotten rid of it on the menu. And not only that, you can get the fried zucchini and a bun now.

That's so nice. One little veggie burger. For the veggie folks in your life. I bet it's delicious, too. It's like a vodapov. Why do I like this so much? I don't know. Delicious.

Is there MSG in there? That's what I was wondering. Because it feels like very... It feels glutamatey. It feels savory. It feels, yeah. Feels savory glutamatey. I would expect this flavor from the McDonald's fry.

Same, but I don't think there is. No. I feel like I'm undercover. Do you know what I mean? Dude, there's got to be glutamate in there. I feel like me and you were like undercover spies right now and we're trying to like decipher like what they got going on in like miniskule masks. We're sucking off French fries. Yeah.

Yeah, this is a wonderful fry. I think I'm taking their fries for granted. I don't remember the last time I've gotten fries from Carl's Jr. I love their Western bacon cheeseburger. I wasn't raised on that kind of stuff. Well, my brother used to do. My brother, Sal, he loves all of this stuff. He would have a field day doing this.

Bring Sal in, man. I don't think. We talked to Sal about the Big Carl. Oh, I'm sure you guys can have a great... Carl Jr. He doesn't have a good 45-minute conversation about that. They did their own. Well, I actually uncovered.

something about the Big Carl. Oh, what's that? I wrote a conspiracy theory piece about it, but it was true. Oh, my gosh. So Big Carl was them. They were trying to, like, copy, obviously, the Big Mac. Uh-huh. But it was like, we don't have a third bun, and we have two big ass fleam broiled patties.

And we have our own secret sauce. So there's secret sauce that they put on it. A couple of years earlier, they came out with something called a California, or, sorry, a couple years later, they came out something called a California double. Mm-hmm. That was obviously riffing off in and out. Okay. And they were like, and we have our new Thousand Island. I found out that the Thousand Island sauce on the California Double was the same as the classic sauce they were putting on the Big Carl.

So they were using the same exact sauce listing it under two different names. And PR teams were not happy about that. And both of those items were on the menu at the same time. Correct. Wow. I know. Isn't that funny? I even went to their allergen information.

And that's how I actually found it. And it was just copy paste? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness. I know. Why is what you eat is so crunchy right now? So a little satellite fry.

I love satellite fries. Got stuck to the Burger King fry. We got one more fry. I don't want to. I have to. It's the In-N-Out fry. One. You know what I like about In-Out, though?

I like that they give you the option to make it, you know, light, light well, well done. I appreciate the fact that they noticed that their fries have a problem, and they said, hey, consumer, it's up to you to make the solution. We're not going to make the solution. We're going to promise you a freshly cut French fry. You can see us use the potato machine. You see us drop it in the oil. But if you want it a little bit crisper, if you want it a little bit less done, that's up to you.

You have to do that work. I'm not doing it for you. Do you know I've never exercised that, right? Never? My husband's a light well man. I'm a well done girl. What's a light well? Light well is...

I don't know. Medium rare. You get some medium rare french fries, yes. I take it how I get it. And I'm generally not getting animal style, unless it's really like end-of-the-night type stuff. Animal-style fries, for those who don't know, it is an inexplicable flavor combination that makes no sense,

where they just blanket American cheese on top of the hot fries. Just crushed a Diet Coke. And then put, and then put thousand-iling caramelized onions on it. It's such a nostalgic flavor combination. We've obviously made the animal-style mac and cheese. I don't know. Do I apologize for their fries? because I order them. I go and I get like, I've started just getting like a single cheeseburger

with like onions two ways. I just, I don't need. I'm there for like all of the crunch and the sauce and the onions and the cheese. The meat is just like a perfunctory little chew and I'm certainly not there to protein max. No one is. And then I just get the fries and I get a side of spread and this is crazy. I put like equal parts spread and ketchup. That's very normal. And then I mix that together. So kind of just making a ketchup-y spread. And it's a delight. And it's a delight. Having the fries as a side, it's really a vehicle for ketchup for me.

I love ketchup. I love ketchup. I didn't eat a lot of ketchup today. I thought I would eat more ketchup, but I was really a big fan of isolating the fry. I'm almost out of ketchup. You can borrow mine if you want. You can borrow mine if you want.

Yum. I think in-and-out fries are okay if you know what you're doing with them. You know what I mean? But if you were to objectively, because I agree, like what am I'm going to keep ordering the end up? fries. I'm not learning anything new. No. But next to all of these fries,

what would you rate in and out? As far as, like, try and and act like you were blind tasting him. One. Right? What else would I rate it? I don't know, though. Oh, give me one of the five guys. I want to eat another five guys. Five guys versus in and out fries is such an insane

dichotomy because both of these are just fresh-cooked fries, right? You see them cut the potato in both stores? I don't know if you can see them cut it. I haven't been to a five guys in a long time, but I'm Looking at the Five Guys fry next to the In-N-Out fry? It's a different dye. They're using a different...

They're using a different dye, for sure. In-N-Out is peeling their... No, they're not. There's a little bit of peel. Are they peeling it at all? Or are they fully... Do they square them off in the cutter? I don't know, but I do know that there is of some visible skin

on some of our French fries at In-N-Out. But, man, the difference between just... The In-N-Out is, like, pure, crunchy cardboard. Which, again, I'm shoveling them nine at a time inside my gullet with ketchup and spread. Right. And then the... The five guys are just these grease, soaked, soft salt bombs. Well, they're so delightful.

I don't. They're not a fry. I would rather have in and out fries than five guys. Okay. I would rather have five guys. I would rather have an internet fries and got so bummed out. I would rather have a five guys try. Yeah.

You're right. But the best fried of all of these, surprisingly, Burger King. Look at you, Burger King. At the end of the day, the rankings, I think, go Burger King. Carl's Jr. McDonald's, Wendy's, five guys in and out. I agree. Yeah?

I would swap the five guys in the Wendy's. Well, well, you know. But that's just me. I think representation matters, so I think Wendy's, I think, I support women. Local news is in decline across Canada, and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news,

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I reckon. All right, Nicole, you ready to hear that first opinion? Hey, love the pod. This is Mary. I'm a student at KU. Rock. And I was wondering if you guys had any advice on how to get yourself to like foods that you painted previously. Like I've always been like an anti-tomato person. I try and I try and I try and yet to no avail. So yeah, I was wondering if you had any recommendations for kind of forcing yourself to like it or if you just call it a loss overall.

Thanks. Do you know what rock chalk is? No. KU. It's in Lawrence, Kansas, I believe. Yeah, K-State is in Manhattan, Kansas. Their mascot is the Jayhawk, and they say rock chalk Jayhawk. I don't get it.

I don't know the animology. I couldn't tell you what rock chalk means per se, but that's why this person from KU said rock chalk. Okay. And not to be confused, the UK, which is Kentucky, and that's Wildcats. I know Wildcats from High School Musical. All right, thanks. Um, liking tomatoes? Uh, do you like pizza?

Put a piece of tomato on pizza. Whoa, whoa, well, oh, okay, you're saying put a piece of tomato on pizza. Put a pizza tomato on pizza. Put a pizza tomato on a pizza. Are you tired? Are you tired? I'm so tired. I'm so tired. All that potato made me so sleep. I know. I know. I just ripped a red bull but hasn't kicked in yet. They need to make a red bowl flavored frosty. Yeah. I think that'd be good. Red Bull vanilla sorrel. I think that would be so disgusting, actually.

Whoa, W. I guess I'd ask your motivations why. You can be picky. I guess, yeah, I'm going to that way. Go ahead, Nicole. I don't think you need to like everything. You can have dislikes. But if your dislikes are getting in the way of your life

and your success as a person, and if you feel like your pickiness is literally holding you down and you can't gas for air and it's completely ruining your life, then that's the one thing. Okay? But if you don't think it's doing that and I don't like tomatoes,

it's okay. It's totally fine. They may be a part of a tomato-based community that they feel they need to fit into it because I feel this, check this out, my wife and a large part of her friend group and community, they love musical theater.

I, I, it's tough for me. I love musical theater. Can I go see a musical with your wife? Oh, that would be so wonderful. Okay. Please, take out. I love to take her to the gym.

But there are some musical shows that I've gone to see that I very much enjoyed. Hamilton, they rap. Never seen it all the way through. They rap in it. It was really, I like it. And also the Book of Mormon. I just saw Book of Mormon for the first time. So good.

And it's funny. And then we saw Wicked. And I like the part where the Green Lady flies at the end of the first part. Hold on. She goes, That's a Zika Arevo riff There's different riffs All of them do different riffs

Oh, what's the Edina Menzel? Edina Adela Zim That's hers That's crazy So I saw that So the point is I understand why you would Maybe be incentivized to want to like a thing that you don't currently like

I really open my mouth for that one Why? Try putting tomatoes on your favorite food Yeah, that's what I'm saying Put a piece of tomato on your pizza. Yeah. Okay. The term margarita pizza for you, before you were like 17 years old, what did it mean to you?

I was told that it had to do with Princess Margarita or Queen Margaret or something. But like if you were to go to your local pizzerie and order a margarita pizza, because to me, it was like a thing. Yeah. So I was always told that margarita pizza was like dough and then tomato sauce and then white cheese and basil because it was based off of the flag. Well, that. That is true. Yeah. For me, I like my, like, there was, um, what was it called?

Was it, oh, geez. Was it, I'm trying to think of, like, this local pizzeria that we had in Orange County. But they had a pizza that they were pizza that they called a margarita pizza. But it was just like their normal kind of, you know, mid. Is there basil on it? So there was, but it was like whole slices of tomato. Like whole slices of like. Oh, you know, that's actually something that I've also experienced at places.

Margarita pizzas have whole tomato on them. Yeah, it's their like. But I don't like it like that. It's their big ass floppy New York whatever style pizza. They just like throw whole tomato slices on it with a little bit of basil and maybe some garlic. And it's like not great.

But that, that's good because that's somewhere in between... We should always do the podcast with our hands on our face like this. It feels very intimate. It's so much for fun. You know, but it does feel... I feel like I'm resting. I'm like my cat when he finds a nice surface to lay his head on. I'm so relaxed.

This is nice. It's like glossha. Should I start soaking my face in ice water? Huh? Should I start... Did I start or should I start soaking my face in ice water? No, why? I thought, I don't know, that guy did that.

The Saratoga water bottle guy? I don't think you need to do that. We can go get a facial. What does that do? Should I do it? Yeah, once in a while. Once like every like few years? How many units of Botox should I start getting?

Frown? No, frown with your forehead. Like six. Six units? I don't know how many units are in Botox. Next opinion, please. I wish we had better advice. I don't know.

There's another like... I gave really. good advice. You have good advice. Hey, Kelly from Dayton, Ohio. I love that. Go Flyers. One of the most slept-on hot sauces. Okay. Tabasco Chippole.

Yes. Absolutely. People should be using it more way better than normal Tabasco. Absolutely. Solid Chipotle. Get it just about anywhere. It's amazing. Hell yeah. Honorable mentions for brands, of course, bravado, and paint is good. Let me know what you think.

Let me know what you think about, you know, the Chipotle. No, me and Kelly would for sure be friends. We have the same exact taste in hot sauce. Pain is good. This is such a good hot sauce. Will you ever see this one? Oh my gosh.

Of course I have. It's so, so, so excellent. It's called. Pain is good? Yeah, they did a couple, like, different batches and stuff. Bravado is really excellent. They do like a black garlic hot sauce,

like a miso hot sauce. Really good. And totally agree. I would also say the Tabasco Habanero is also better than the original. Hi, Josh and Nicole. This is Danielle from North Carolina. Hi, Daniel. I, as a kid, used to try and mix Nutella with goldfish.

I thought it was a really nice, salty and sweet combination. And then also, like, the cheese and the chocolate, I feel like that's a pretty interesting combo. But anytime I would tell people about it, they would kind of look at me weird. It works with cheese, it, too, you know, stuff like that. I was just curious about what you guys thought about that. Thanks. I love the ingenuity. and I love the fa'a,

and I love the fact that you love doing that. It was better if you did it with Biskopf. Biskopf instead of which. I'm so tired. I think it would be better if it was with Biskopf cookie butter. I think there are certain... No, no, Nicole. Nicole has floor.

Nicole is floor. Let her talk. Start a talk. Let her talk. I'm done. I have nothing to say. I'm often the sort of like post-constructivist to come in and say there's no bad flavor combinations as long as you have the right amount of sort of like skill. Chocolate and cheddar cheese is about as bad as I can imagine.

Really? Yeah, something about like the glutamic acid from the cheddar and then like the bitterness and sweetness of the chocolate. There's no bitterness in Nutella. stop, stop. Sure, but even then, like, the nuttiness with the cheesiness. I'm so sorry. Some would say the best cheeses have a nutty note. I would agree with that.

I think you... I think nuts and cheese are a fine combo. Even then, not a great combo. You get, like, a cocoanut cheese ball, the almonds on the outside, the almonds are doing nothing for me. Oh, my God, they're textual. They're a textual. Oh, my God.

It's like heaven. The textual heaven. Nutella and a ritz cracker, wonderful combination. Oh, yeah, that's good. The salt or a club cracker, something like that. Oh, yeah. The club cracker? To me, you put the cheese in it.

Because you can talk about a salty sweet, but cheese is uniquely umami in a way, and I don't almost ever love umami and sweet. Well, that's why I'm saying... Sweet miso sauce is about as close as I get, but that's on savory. That's why I'm saying that the idea of goldfish with Biscoff cookie spread, speculose, if you will, would work better because it doesn't have that cocoa hazelnut note. It just has a sweet cinnamony cookie-ish note. And whenever you think about a goldfish, it's just a cheddar cookie.

I think caramel and cheese can go together better. Like the... Yetost? No. Brunost? No. I'm talking. No.

Yes, you know ski queen brunost. You go for after ski in Trondheim, Norway. No, I'm talking about the popcorn. You put the caramel and cheese. You put it on the... Josh, the caramel and cheese popcorn from Chicago, the famous one. Yeah, what do they call it? They call it something.

It's called just like combo or something. Whatever. Doesn't we call that? But yeah, yeah. Whatever. I don't love that either. You don't? I do. No, it's good, but I think I'd rather have them separate. Oh, my God, it's so good.

There's, like, a place. There's a place that they get it from. I went there. I was in Chicago recently, and I was up near Wrigleyville where just, like, all the touristy stuff is. Great, great Chicago brunch at a spot called Bayanco. It's a Filipino-Cuban spot, and I had a got... That sounds good. I had a got-dang ropa-vija fried plantain breakfast burrito. Oh, my God. Garrett Popcorn.

Garrett. Yeah, yeah. Is it just called like Garrett combo? Yeah, I guess. Or like mix. It's like a very simple word. But anyways, I think, yeah, caramel and cheese works a lot better than chocolate and cheese. Garrett mix. Chocolate and a lot of things I don't think I love. I don't even love chocolate or strawberries. Well, that's because the, yeah, well, yeah, because they're gross.

Right? Yeah, the chocolate solidifies and the fruit gets all juicy and jammy. But if it was like dipped in ganache, fresh, that's another thing. White chocolate I like with fruit. Because white chocolate is just blank sugar. Yeah. It's a wonderful texture. Love it chocolate.

The flavor of chocolate is so singular, but it's become so ubiquitous. Now you're just saying stuff. Now you're just saying stuff. And if I may, I'd like to use my soapbox here. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It's chocolate and vanilla are such specific. They're like, chocolate is like the seed pod of just like.

an Amazonian plant, you know, and the meso-mananda vanilla is the same thing. It's like the stamen of a flower. It's crazy how hyper-specific these two flavors are. And we're just willy-nilly pairing them with everything. I think that... What about the cheese crackers? I think that the baseline flavor of all sweet treats should not be vanilla. It should be sweet cream.

Do you agree? Like milk. What? What? What? What? What? Yeah, like ice cream should just like vanilla shouldn't be the default.

It should just be cream flavored. And that was for me a cold stone affectation. Yes, yes. That I was like, oh, this makes a fair amount of sense. And then if you want vanilla, Fior di Late, you're right, you're right. That should be the baseline. And that is my soapbox that I'm going to put on top of your soapbox. So I'm just a little bit taller.

Like, I feel the same way with vanilla as I do about black pepper. Where like they are... Black pepper ice cream sounds so good. It's nice. They've made it at a salt and straw. But anyways, like, they are two of, like, the world's most unique spices that have dominated world trade for hundreds of years. But we've, like, watered them down so much by putting just, like, a few cracks of black pepper in a recipe. To me, if a recipe is not, like, meant to be pepper forward, I don't even put black pepper in it.

Sure. I don't put black pepper in everything. Like, just a crazy black pepper crusted pork chop or something. You know what I mean? Or a ton of black pepper in a curry is wonderful. Ditto with vanilla. If I'm using vanilla, that's going to be a friggin' vanilla dish. Sure.

You know? Sure. You know? What does that have to do with goldfish and tell you? I don't remember. Me either. But we kept talking. Mm-hmm.

And now it's time to go home. That's right. That's right. Well, thank you so much for stopping my hot dog as a sandwich. There's more for you to say. What do I say? Subscribe. No, no, no, no.

Don't tell them to subscribe. It's a little subscribe. We got a new channel. It's an old channel, but it's here now. It's called the Hot Dog Is a Sandwich channel. It'd be cool if you could subscribe to this because we have, fun little community events. We have speed dating apps. We have speed dating events for our. There's nothing in your cup. You give me an empty cup after you saw me drink out of the cup.

You were going to fill my cup with stuff. We don't have speed dating events. I lied to you to try and type to you and subscribe. I hosted a speed dating event one time and it went so well. Did I hook up anybody? No. But did everybody have a great time? Maybe. And that's what the podcast really about. It's about having a good time. Yeah. If you want to feature your opinion on opinions on like castros, hit us up at 833, Dogpod 1. Don't ask me to host a dating event though, because that was a one-time thing for me. I'm not really interested in doing it anymore.

I feel like I'd be pretty good at speed dating. You're married. It's like chess boxing. You're married. I know, but I feel like it's something I'd be good at. So what? You said, like you said nobody hooked up at your speed dating event. I mean, people went on dates, but they didn't like nobody got married. They went on a, everybody went on like a few dates.

Not everybody. Some people went on a few dates. I don't want to get to that point. I want to play it like speed chess. You want to win speed dates? You want to win speed dating. Yes, I guess so. I think you should focus on your beautiful life with your wife. Fair point.

I don't know. I feel like I could win speed dating. What else we got? Mythical Kitchen. It's a channel that exists. Do you think people like listening to this part? I'm pretty sure they don't listen to this. I think they do.

If you are listening to this, comment below. Comment below the secret code word, which is going to say, buzz buzz bumblebees and that way we'll know if we see if we see you comment buzz buzz buzz m bumblebees then we know that you're listening to this part so thank you bye be normal josh the people like you better when you're normal