A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Reddit Holiday Food Disasters

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

Today, Josh and Nicole are reading popular Reddit holiday food disasters and how to avoid them! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. This episode is presented by Pepsi. A hot dog is a sandwich. That deserves a Pepsi. 70,000 people are here and Bob Dylan is the reason for it. Inspired by the true story. If anyone is going to hold your attention on stage, you have to kind of be a freak. Are you a freak?

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Uber Reserve. See Uber app for details. This episode is presented by Pepsi. A hot dog is a sandwich. That deserves a Pepsi. The holidays are here and ugh, I just love all the smells. Freshly baked cookies, a crackling fireplace, vanilla and cinnamon.

Yeah, I love the smells too. Burnt oven drippings, vodka, cranberry breath, and you can't beat that freshly used fire extinguisher scent. That's what was on your breath this morning. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. Hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Aniotti. And this is the official intervention.

Intervention by Nicole Aniotti. I've been sucking up that fire extinguisher exhaust. Oh, God.'m feeling right. It feels right. What's that one? The kids are ripping Galaxy Gas. Nicole's out here ripping fire extinguisher. Computer Duster is a big one.

Kids love Computer Duster. No, do not use inhalants. That is truly the language of the desperate. Just inhale, just inhale. Inhale life. Good times, inhale the good times. Not too much though. No. Today we are talking about the biggest holiday disasters as

recorded on Reddit because we have all been in holiday cooking disasters. Oh my gosh. What's the worst one that you've witnessed? My own. Trying to make a turkey. What'd you do? So this was whenever I first started in culinary school I was 20 years old like 1920 1920, and I'm like, I'm gonna make Thanksgiving dinner. And my dad's like, bro, nobody in this house likes turkey, you don't need to do it. And I'm like, no, we are Americans, and I have to make a delicious turkey dinner.

It is my job, it is my duty, I must make it. And I made a really bad bird, just like the worst. I was dried to a crisp. It was literally like desiccated. I desiccated the turkey. And my gravy was lumpy, the mashed potatoes sucked, and I did it all by myself. And I was proud that I got food on the table,

but again, life isn't a cooking competition. At what cost? At what cost to be American? So now, for Thanksgiving, typically, I don't cook anything. I might make one or two things. Thanksgiving was like a month and a half ago. Yeah.

Oh, are you talking about like cooking for Hanukkah? What? Cooking for Christmas and Hanukkah? Thanksgiving is a holiday. Thanksgiving is a holiday. You are correct. You are correct. We were talking about all the holiday disasters.

Yeah. I watched my dad. I think one was Thanksgiving. One was Christmas. Go to the ER twice. Oh. One was we had the most flimsy disposable turkey roasting pans And he picked it up from the side and it kind of crumbled and then all the hot turkey drippings I went onto his arm

He got third-degree burns But he didn't want to let go of the turkey so you wanted to put food on the table So it's good and then the other time is on Christmas and he must have been I don't know chopping the canned pineapple or something but he dropped the knife straight into his foot he's cooking barefoot and had to go to the ER so we've all been there but today we're like on Christmas Day and on Thanksgiving Day these are things that happen yeah that's correct that's so annoying I know I know with the knife in the foot he drove himself to the ER with a foot propped up on the dash Oh, I drive like that sometimes

But today we're gonna relish in other people's pain and misery we are professional chefs Okay, do you want to take the first one? This is from Lynn scoot on reddit. You're ready Nicole. I was born ready I was probably a tween at the time mom's boss had recently traveled to Poland and brought her home a fancy Bottle of vodka that he gave her for the holidays That's called Chekhov's gun the vodka will come into play later Nicole We went to aunt and uncle's house with a bunch of family and as usual mom and auntie did most of the cooking There wasn't a lot of room left in the kitchen for others

They sometimes had a glass of wine or maybe a sherry, ooh, très elegant, while they were cooking but decided on screwdrivers with this exotic bottle. They really enjoyed it, so they had another. We discovered, oh, I have been here before! We discovered the vodka was double proof. After we found aunties sitting on the floor, legs splayed, turkey between them in a puddle of grease. They had dropped the turkey, then she slipped and fell. Mom was doubled over laughing, barely able to breathe. I was shooed out of the kitchen, so I'm not sure who or how the day was saved,

but we eventually ate floor turkey in Fixings. That is brutal. And this- Getting drunk, well, accidentally drunk? That's crazy. Yeah, this is, okay, there is, standard drink is one unit, like a drink. Like I've had one drink, I've had two drinks,

I've had four drinks. A drink is a unit of measurement that I think more people need to know about. Do you know what I'm talking about? How many ounces of wine is a drink to you? Three ounces? So four at 12%. So a typical pour of wine, I think is closer to 4.5.

Okay. But if it's four ounces at 12%, or like if it's a big bold red at 15% A drink would be like 3.6 ounces. Okay, but that's like one drink or 12 ounces of 4% Which is your standard can of Coors Light or 1.5 ounces at 40% of hard liquor so if you have a Bacardi 151 for instance is pretty much double the proof, a little bit less, of a standard shot of rum. There's also Navy Strength Rum, which tends to be like... Navy Strength Rum? What is that?

I have a bottle of 110 proof Navy Strength Rum that I really like. Is that like Everclear? It's not Everclear, no. Everclear is $190. Is it $190? So Everclear $190 Iclear is $1.90. One? Is it $1.90? So Everclear $1.90 I think has maybe been banned in all of America. Oh my god, I feel the hands on the back of my neck. But we used to have to drive to Nevada to get Everclear $1.90. We?

So Navy Strength Rum, I love it for cocktails. Okay. Because it doesn't dilute as much. So you can shake that on ice with, say you want pineapple juice. Pineapple juice tends to dilute because it's not as concentrated as lemon. And so Navy String Throne was great, but I was once fed shots at a party when I was 21 years old. Thank goodness.

And nobody told me the shots were 151. And I didn't have the wherewithal to understand because now I could taste that immediately. But I drank three shots of 151 and then someone haha It was this and then I had a terrible night just never just like never play pranks like that on people no absolutely It's wrong. That is not okay. I hate that like on a molecular level I hate that so if this bottle was all in Polish, you know, and they're not reading the numbers I know Poland uses the same numbers that we do,

but if you're not looking at that, and if it was just vodka, you would probably have no reason to look at it. You would assume 80 proof, 40%. But this was double. That's brutal though. This is just a pure tragedy, this is a Greek tragedy of the highest magnitude.

It sounds like fun. Am I stupid? It sounds like a little bit fun. Like imagine, but you're with your family and like you're drinking. Well the turkey on the floor doesn't sound fun. Well it's okay. I feel like you gotta make them, like I said, mom fell double over laughing, barely able to breathe. Like everybody sat on the floor and had floor turkey. That's funny.

And honestly, coming away from the holidays with a story like that, arguably better than eating a turkey that hasn't been on the floor. Exactly, I mean everybody had four turkeying and fixings, everyone was doubled over drunk. I don't think it's the worst story. Where do I get this Polish double vodka? Am I just a toxic positive person? I think, yeah, you do have toxic positivity

urging through you. Do you think I'm toxically positive? Do you think I'm too positive? I think you're toxically negative. Am I really? Yeah, I tend to be one of those people. And that's why we have a show together. Okay, let me read this next one.

Okay. The first baking disaster of Christmas was at a family gathering today. Brought my homemade shortbread grandma's recipe to the dessert table. I was excited about it because I got a special snowflake-shaped pan to bake it in, and it was very pretty. Left it on the dessert table and joined the family in the other room. What to my wondering ears is heard but Aunt Diane at the dessert table hollering, oh my god!

She's hovering over my shortbread, pointing out the teeny black specks in it. She says, you have weevils. I nearly bit into that bug-infested cookie. Only nasty people have bugs. I explained that no, the black specks are from the vanilla bean paste and those are vanilla seeds, but with an audience of now 10 to 15 family members, my bug-infested shortbread remained untouched. So more of gram of shortbread for me, I guess. And then they put the recipe there. It's a cup of butter, two cups of flour,

half a cup of sugar, vanilla to taste. Hint, don't use vanilla bean paste. Half a teaspoon salt. I use kosher. Cream it all together. If you're feeling it, toss in a generous half a cup of pecan pieces. Bake to 30 to 40 minutes at 300 degrees in your beautiful snowflake-shaped Nordic bunt pan. Let it cool and serve, not to Aunt Diane.

Damn! We're renaming Karen's Diane's. Yeah, I agree, I agree. This is so rude. That's brutal. Also- Weevils. Now-

Ignorant. Maggie, can you show us what a picture of a weevil is? Because I've heard about weevils, but I've never experienced weevils. No, hear me out, hear me out. Straight up ignorance. If you see a baked good and you see little black specks

And Nicole what do you assume you assume? Bean paste good old Nielsen Massey vanilla bean paste the bomb is vanilla paste in the business I use more vanilla paste than I do vanilla extract just same I've switched entirely that's my lifestyle creep That's the reason I'm not gonna be able to afford a house not avocado toast It's good exactly those the Mexican market like four for a dollar, but it's the vanilla bean paste. It is pricey It's pricey. No, no, when I was writing my cookbook. I got like, um, I got like a gallon of it It's so good. I still have some left over looking at Weevils. I get I get the similarity small black dots But like I would eat the Weevils do I would eat the Weevils do I think I would eat the Weevils, right?

I don't think it would stop me. Would the Weevils stop me? Would the Weevils too. I think I would eat the weevils right. I don't think it would stop me Would the weevils stop me would the weevils stop you? No, this is about this is about to be maybe some self-incrimination here but the other day we were cooking I was making like a call like a cauliflower puree and I cut open the cauliflower and There's kind of a mushy bit of the cauliflower. I just cut it off and chucked it aside. Okay We saw a bug Okay crawling on the cutting board. Okay, and you thought it was from the cauliflower? Well, I think it was still. But I killed the bug and I threw it away and consulted Julia and I was like, the cauliflower made bugs in it. I cut it open and none of the pieces

seemed to have them, but should we throw it away? And then I just instead roasted the hell out of the cauliflower, moated it in milk and thenached it in milk and then you know, blended it up. I don't have a problem with that. And that's what I'm saying. You've cooked the bug, you've cooked the harmful part out of it. Sometimes in life, you know, life will give you lemons, you gotta turn them into lemonades. Sometimes you will get a cauliflower infested with bugs. So you must cut out the mush and the bugs and eat the cauliflower.

And if you cook it, yeah I've roasted that at like 450 degrees for half an hour. Yeah, all of the bacteria should the bugs and eat the cauliflower. And if you cook it, I roasted that at like 450 degrees for half an hour. Yeah, all of the bacteria should be gone and dead, but you didn't eat any of the moldy gross parts, did you? Didn't eat the moldy gross parts, no, no, no. When you have cheese, and there's a little bit of mold on the cheese, do you throw all the cheese away, do you cut the mold off?

I don't eat enough cheese to, I've dealt with that problem in years. Or I eat the cheese so fast. But I would just cut the mold off and eat the cheese. Yeah, but cut the mold off. The thing I don't play with is spoiled meat. Oh, you shouldn't. If I would just cut the mold off and eat the cheese. Yeah, cut the mold off. The thing I don't play with is spoiled meat. If I smell meat and it's bad, that's going to the trash.

Even if there's, if I question it. Milk and meat? Again, I haven't had milk spoil on me in like so long. I just, I drink a lot, I go through a lot of milk. I think a lot of people lactose intolerant. I'm like hyper lactose tolerant. Like my body just turns milk into success You know what I mean? I've never had any tummy gurgles from milk. Oh my god I think my people were born to process dairy just northern Europe

It's like this is the only thing we have not a motion cannot process their emotions But can definitely process lactose in fact. I've almost replaced emotions with lactose Yeah, there's more protein and lactose than there are emotions. Agreed, agreed. Well, depends on where you get your milk from. I should talk to my therapist about that. The Creations! Okay, well, this sucks and I hate your Aunt Diane. Pitouille Aunt Diane. Pitouille, I don't like her.

That really does suck. That would be really devastating to me. We have... You post a video or something online and if it's ever something that has like noodles in it or whatever You'll just get a comment if you were going looks like worms It's like yeah, the term vermicelli vermin literally means worm. No vermin vermin just means worm What does vermin mean vermin is well? Yes vermin come from I guess vermin comes from worms to Maggie You must Google this for us. You must be our fact-checker Yeah, the term vermin celllli literally means like worm noodles.

Like, yeah, they look like worms. It's not worms, it's noodles. So I hate when people judge something from its appearance like that, you know? Read it. I can't read that. I need to get my contacts refitted. I can't see that.

Yeah, verme means worm. OK, and vermin. But where does vermin come from? Those come from the same thing, right? But I consider vermin to be like a rodent. A rodent? Vermin versus? Vermin etymology. Yeah, so snake must be like...

Okay, so... Yeah, verme meaning worm. Interesting. Nicole, you are correct! This is Josh's... Nicole is right. This is Josh's fifth time telling me I was right today. This is how many discussions we've had. We've had so many discussions where we've disagreed, but you've told me I've been right, I think three times, five is a little bit extra.

You're welcome. I am craving a big slice of pizza and an ice cold Pepsi for lunch today. Nicole, what if I told you, you have the power to make that happen? I do? Yeah, and you know how I know that? Cause you're real, real smart. That's one of of the reasons the other reason is that I had the same dream that you had

Except this is a couple days ago We basically live parallel lives But I was craving an ice-cold Pepsi and a big old slice of pizza and I was at the airport and I was coming back To LA and so I was like really needed some food to get me through that last leg of the journey And I was on the plane, I opened my pizza, and the flight attendant came by, and I got the free chips, and I got an ice cold Pepsi Zero Sugar. And I will never forget this borderline spiritual experience of eating that spicy from the pepperoni salty chewy pizza, going to the crispy chips, and then resetting my palate with ice cold refreshing Pepsi Zero Sugar,

that perfect amount of acid to just cut through all that fat in your palate. And then back to the chewy pizza, crispy chip, refreshing Pepsi, chewy pizza, crispy chip, refreshing Pepsi, and it made the flight so, so much better. My lunch was absolutely saved. I love story time with you, Josh. It's my favorite. But moral of the story is,

Pepsi makes your food taste better. Everybody knows that. So grab a Pepsi Zero Sugar for your next meal, as food deserves Pepsi. I'm Anna Garcia with True Crime News, the podcast. Every crime tells a story. Every story demands justice. True Crime News, the podcast covers breaking crimes,

investigating high profile and under the radar cases. Every week we dive beyond the headlines, exploring the effects of violent crimes on victims and search for justice. We hope you join us as your weekly source for true crime news. Listen to and follow True Crime News, the podcast on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Am I the anus for serving my husband's parents pizza on Christmas dinner when they show up unexpectedly

Well blitz through it quickly I 33 year old female I'm a nurse and I've been crazy busy lately so busy that I spend two consecutive days at the hospital I covered shifts during weekends and holidays for this year We're not doing well financially and I've only been working for a few months and we got debts to pay I'm exhausted all the time. I don't get to sleep much. I feel bad for you. Thank you for your service as a nurse My husband's parents are aware of my work nature, but still acted upset. I didn't go to sleep much. I feel bad for you. Thank you for your service as a nurse." My husband's parents are aware of my work nature but still acted upset I didn't go shop for their gifts earlier. I already disliked the parents. They did receive gifts from me and I made sure everyone was happy. My husband told me his mom wanted to bring the family and celebrate Christmas at our house. I politely declined and explained that I can't be serving

ten plus people when I'm committed to a very demanding, very strict schedule. My mother-in-law is still pissed at me for this and told the family that I was using my job as an excuse since I obviously can't even cook a decent meal let alone host a celebration. I really thought they let another family member host Christmas dinner. Pause. That sucks, dude. That really, really sucks. People are rude.

Especially, here's the thing, not to talk SHI double hockey sticks about old people, but there is this, you're seeing it now, where young people aren't having kids nearly as much, and there's this whole generation of older people who are lamenting not having grandkids. But then it's like, if you're not, old people hold so much more wealth, primarily because of housing cost increase, right?

And if you're not helping out your kids that are in a much worse financial situation than you ever would have been, you know, during that time, it's like, well, no wonder you're not getting your age. No wonder there's this resentment that you expect everyone to be self-sufficient when you're in drastically different economic times. Agreed. Back in. Christmas Day at 2 p.m. I got off work and went home feeling exhausted and could barely

take a shower. My husband didn't leave the house and when I asked him about whether his family invited him for dinner, he said no because I ruined it. Oh my god! I knew he was starting an argument and I just left it at that. At 6pm the door rang and I saw his mom and dad walking in. I greeted them and brought them coffee and biscuits. Good for you. Look at you, you're trying. They said they came to give us our gifts on behalf of the family and they stayed over for two hours.

His mom started giving me looks and asking when she and her husband were going to eat dinner. Oh Oh, this is just a classic mother like mother-in-law daughter-in-law. Do you deal with this? No, my mother-in-law is the best. You don't want to use the internet for him as a place to talk to. No, I'm so lucky to have my mother-in-law. She really gives me the space I need. God bless her. Yeah, I like offer to cook a lot more for my mother-in-law. She really gives me the space I need. God bless her. Yeah, I like offer to cook a lot more for my mother. Keep going with the story! Okay, okay, okay. His mom started giving me looks,

asking when she was going to eat dinner. I got up and decided to reheat the pizza we had from the night before. And when his mom saw it, she stared at me and asked if I was serious. She asked me where's Christmas dinner, and was stunned that I didn't cook for the occasion. I told her I didn't cook because I wasn't expecting anyone to be invited to the house. She got upset, said that I should have cooked for the occasion regardless of whether we had guests or not because she said it's part of the celebration and talked about how every home has a Christmas feast.

She said I had no etiquette and that I was clearly starving her son by not even cooking on holidays. Oh my god. Oh god. I got into an argument with her while my husband and his dad sat there watching. She called me disrespectful and to stop using my job as an excuse for my lack of function as a wife. Oh my god. And they left.

My husband said I should have taken a few days off and hosted dinner completely ignoring that his mom made a big deal out of it. She's all over social media talking about me serving her pizza instead of a real Christmas dinner. And then there's an edit. My husband works in construction. It's been slow lately so he spends more time at home than me. There's a simple solution here. Shared household duties. Okay, I think this is just so much pressure on her.

She has so much pressure. She has to bring in money. She has to be a wife. She has to cater to her in-laws This is a ridiculous situation, and I'm so sorry that she has to be in this situation like no understanding from Anybody she has no she has only enemies in this house unfair You got a divorce his ass Saying that I mean maybe I don't know I don't I mean I I don't know clearly the husband must have not unfair. You gotta divorce his ass. I'm not saying that. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, I don't know. Clearly the husband must have known his parents were coming over and tell her. Now he should have told her for sure. I think everyone right now just is very much against this woman who's really trying to, you know, put not actual food on the table, like money in the pockets of her family while her husband's work is still working double shifts. I mean, unbelievable. Like your husband is homeless at the time.

He could have called in advance and gotten food. Like she has so much labor she has to do and it's really unfair. Like, God. Yeah. Like, I don't know if the mother-in-law was somebody who maybe they were a full-time homemaker in a time when it was more common that you could economically afford to do that. Even if she wasn't, even if she was one of those women that was like, hey, I worked a full-time job, I still cook Christmas dinner every year,

I think there's people who have undergone unfair situations just tend to pass that on. Yeah, of course. And say, I had this unfair situation, you need to abide by experience that as opposed to trying to make the system more equitable for everybody, but also like this I'm probably guilty of it too, but like men in romantic relationships in straight romantic relationships Looking for a caretaker sure right somebody to cook somebody to clean somebody to handle all the stuff. Why don't you verbalize that? Well, yeah, I'm saying it's like it's like she's expected to do all of this stuff She has the same 24 hours as anyone else. You can't expect her to do everything She literally got home Christmas Day at 2 p.m. I was so tired

She couldn't even shower then her in-laws come four hours later and like they caught bless her She gave them tea and biscuits and coffee and stuff. I mean, I'm just really shocked and really disappointed that people like this exist. This is what a bummer of a situa- I didn't think I'd get hit this hard by the- I would never, I would never. If my in-laws did this to me, buh-bye.

Who do- Do not come. I have nobody in my life that would do this to me at all and I'm very grateful for that Yeah, I know you know Are you kidding me my freaking mother-in-law asks me what she can bring to my house when I have people over She literally she says I will make you 50 dishes I will drop them off at your door Just if I have like five people over and I'm like you don't have to do that

You know what I mean like I have the opposite problem. This is really sad. I'm sorry. That sucks man divorces ass You gotta leave no, I'm gonna do the tik-tok psychology thing your husband is clearly displaying early onset narcissistic tendency signs You think sorry, that's my favorite trope about all these everyone's a narcissist No, just everyone diagnoses everyone and it's generally if it's any relationship problem, it's generally that person's is narcissist Yeah, I mean I don't I mean I don't think like divorce is the answer. I think divorce is like What does it call like plan Z? I think that's the last possible plan. Yeah, that's just how I am Yeah, I think you should work through these things if you love your partner there in any relationship squabble, especially things that end up on Reddit. I remember talking to Ify Wadiwe and his partner Em, they have a relationship podcast.

Sure. And they're like, sometimes there is a problem because the only thing that we could say to 90% of these are like, you should say that to your partner. Yeah. You should just communicate, just talk this through and find shared goals and a shared outcome. And so I mean, that's the sitch here, right? It's like, you know, communicate, man.

Talk about that. Communicate better, do the work, even though no one else is. And then communicate, bam, by serving him divorce papers. He's a narcissist. Sapina. Okay, I have one. A Christmas dinner, 1985, approximately 25 people in the house, adults at the dining

room table. All the kids are on the coffee table in the adjacent sunken living room, two steps down. I really want a sunken living room. My uncle was seated at the end of the table closest to the living room. He leaned back too far in his chair and toppled into the living room. Normally this would have been funny, but he eventually would tuck the tablecloth in his belt while he was eating and had done the same thing here. Spiral cut ham turkey, all the china glass and sides followed him off the table and into the shag carpet.

It looked like a bomb exploded. We wound up ordering Chinese and my mother had to tear out and replace the carpet. First of all, sunken living room. My dream. Shag carpet, sunken living room. What are we doing here? Dream of the 70s alive in the 80s right now. This is sad. I mean, I just feel bad that all that food and all that china went to waste, you know?

That's depressing. What a Mr. Bean ass pratfall though. Tucking the tablecloth into your belt. Why do you do that? Is that to collect? What do you mean you? Is it you look at me just because he's a man who thinks I would do that?

You wear more belts than I do. I wear a lot of belts. Is he tucking it in to catch all the food? I would guess, I'd say that yes, but I think it's probably like a, that's a fun uncle gag, right? Like, ah ha ha, look at me. You know, I'm a little weird uncle.

It's a fun uncle gag? If I was at a table ha, look at me. You know, I'm a little weird uncle. That's a fun uncle gag? If I was at a table as a nine year old and I saw my uncle do that, I'd be like, that's peak comedy right there. That's peak comedy, Uncle Jeff. Mr. Bean Ass comedy. Mr. Bean Ass comedy. And then to flip over the chair.

Oh God. This is one of those, sometimes it's more comforting when everything just goes completely wrong and you have to scrap it, right? There's no saving it. Dinner simply on the carpet, we're ordering Chinese food. I mean, the Chinese food, what a save.

God bless Chinese immigrants that are open during Christmas and Hanukkah for this reason, exactly. You've seen that meme that goes around every year from the Chinese restaurant. We are grateful for our Jewish brothers. Yeah, it's like, we do not, dear Jewish people, we do not understand why your God asks you to eat our food on Christmas,

but we are grateful. Yeah, I love that. I love that so much to eat our food on Christmas, but we are grateful. Yeah, I love that. I love that so much. Here's a good one. Here's a good one. My ex and I decided to make some extra dressing one year in a 9x9 baking dish. When the meal was ready, we had more than enough food for everyone, so we put the extra dressing in the oven to stay warm. A couple hours later, while we're cleaning up the kitchen, she hit the self-clean cycle on the oven. Oh my God, what does that mean?

You know how an oven cleans itself? You're about to find out. The oven door automatically locked and the oven heated up to over 600 degrees. Oh no! 10 minutes later, thick black oily smoke started pouring out of the oven vents. Of course, the oven door was still locked, so even turning off the cleaning cycle did nothing.

It wouldn't unlock until the oven cooled down. By the time I had the bread, I had to turn the breaker off to reset the oven. Smart. I want you in a horror movie. We had a nice nine by nine charcoal briquette and smoke damage all over the kitchen. Fun times.

I have never pressed the self clean button on my oven. Me neither, I'll get in there and I'll scrub it. Yeah, yeah, I'll easy off it. I've never self cleaned an oven, but it like heats it super, super hot. So it singes it, so it like kills everything? I think it's like how you clean a grill, right? You clean a grill by just cranking the grill on

and turning everything that's stuck to it to carbon. Oh, what? And then just wiping away the carbon. With an onion. Yeah, sure, with an onion. I just use a brush, but yeah, you can do the onion. Well, I'm sad. I wish I could have tasted that stuff,

and man, that's pretty sad. I know, man. The smoke damage probably costs a pretty penny. I have a bad habit of turning the broiler on. And I'm at the point where I don't think I should ever turn a broiler on again in my own home. Well you know what they say Josh? The broiler at work doesn't do nothing. Life's too short to cook on medium.

They sure do say that by the Mythical Kitchen apron, part two of Electro Boo-Boo. But no, I like, I smoked damaged our oven and it's still kind of dealing with it. I forgot what it is. Oh, I think I was making mouss still kind of dealing with it. I forgot what I did. Oh, I think I was making moussaka and I was trying to brulee the bechamel and then I had to... It exploded? It didn't explode, but it lit it on fire straight up. You lit your moussaka on fire.

But I saved it because I scraped off all the bechamel and I made more and then I literally think... Is this the dish that took you two days to make? No, that was the moussaka inspired lasagna. Then I made proper moussaka. After I got back from Greece. EF-HA-RI-STO, Nikoli, EF-HA-RI-STO. Okay, you want to do one more?

EF-HA-RI-STO. That's how you say thank you in Greek. Did you know that? I think it's sous, or no, sas. Sas EF-HA-RI-STO. That's how you say thank you? But like then it just kind of ends up getting like sardine, like harstol. Harstol, harstol, harstol. Thanks for teaching me something new.

Sas ef haristol! I'm so grateful that you teach me something new every day. Back when microwaves were new, my grandmother decided to microwave the turkey for Thanksgiving. Oh my god. Sick. It turned out about as hideous as you can imagine. My mother banned her from ever hosting Thanksgiving again. So, I don't know about you, but you grew up watching Flavor of Love.

You watched a lot of VH1? Yeah, I did, yeah. You ever see them? Brooklyn spit on Dolly Doll or whatever. Someone spit on something. Pumpkin spit on New York. That's right. That's right. There it is. But there was a character, I think her name was Hottie, and they had

a cooking challenge. One time she put a whole chicken in the microwave and it was obscene. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The producers are just, they're asking them to make fools of themselves. Are they? I don't know. I can imagine. Do you think that's organic? I mean't know. I can imagine. Do you think that's organic? I mean, she was a little silly. She was silly and quite goofy. But every time I think of microwaving a whole anything, doesn't matter what it is, I immediately

think of Hottie from Flavor of Love. There's not a world in which this works, right? Microwaving a turkey from like... Definitely not. You could microwave like a fish fillet. You could microwave a fish fillet and it would turn out good. What do you mean? Like a fillet of fish? Yeah, you take like a single fillet of hake, you have some steamed hake.

You could microwave... You could steam a fish in the microwave. Yeah, but if you do that at work, you would be tried by the hake. That's... Hey-o. Hey-o. Well, that wraps up our Reddit disasters. Hopefully y'all have made it through this holiday season without any disasters of your own. But if you have not, call us at 833-DOGPOD-1.

We want to hear about it. We want to mine your pain for content. We've mined enough of our own. Happy holidays. We love you. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what, just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin?

Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Er, nope. You're on your own there. Could've skipped it. Should've skipped it.

Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on skip. Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC optimum points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. dollars in PC optimum points. Visit superstore.ca to get started.

Now it's time for everyone's third favorite segment where Nicole and I put our food trivia knowledge to the test. That's right, you know it, you love it. It's time for our very own trivia segment called... Yummy in my tummy got some trivia for you. Now robot Mike... Robot Mikey. Now robot Maggie has three questions prepared. Nicole, you and I will wait until the question is complete and then we will answer. If wrong, the other person gets a chance to steal and earn the point. I'm ready. To do that first question. I have to pee, I'm so anxious.

Why is the food served during Hanukkah fried? I know, I know, ding, ding. On three. One, two, because you're not allowed to- Because the maccabees. Wait. What? Oh, I don't think, do I not know this? What is, wait, what is the question?

Why is this the food on Hanukkah fried? Okay, yeah. Wait, no, I don't know it. Is it just because the miracle of the oil, so the food fried in oil is representative of the miracle of the oil in the temple lasting for eight days instead of one? Yes.

Okay, okay. I was going off on the Shabbat direction. Oh, what? Historically, food that is, you would fry food before Shabbat started and the frying would Help keep it like edible and free from bacteria. This is completely different. I'm stupid. Completely different. This is about, as Josh said, the oil was supposed to last one day, but it ended up lasting eight days. And in order, that's why we eat sufganyot and latkes. That is correct.

I'll give Nicole that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shalom havarim! Next! In what century was eggnog first consumed? Ding! Okay. I think I know this. What's it? I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go ahead and guess.

It was the 15th century. It goes back to the 1400s. Nog is such an old-timey word. Yeah. And things like that, there's nothing, like, that would be modern about it. I'm gonna go ahead and say 15th century. I'm going to, I'm just gonna go way later

and think that this was one of the earlier, like, kind kind of like CPG items in the time when they started. I'm gonna say 19th century. Maybe it was later. The correct answer is the 13th century. Oh damn. That was pretty close. That was pretty close. That's crazy.

13th century eggnog, bro. Pfft. Probably tasted like butt. Probably dank. Dank. What type of pie is traditionally eaten in the UK during Christmas? I think I know. Yeah, one, two, three.

Mince. The correct answer is mince pie. Yeah, it's funny they didn't say mince meat. I like the way that they call ground beef mince. You wish they called it mince? I wish we, they call that, they call ground beef mince. You wish we called it mince at a ground beef? They're like, add 100 grams of mince.

And I like when they say that instead of like, add a quarter pound of brown beef. Well you're just anti-American, Mr. Man. Suppose so, I don't know man, every country has its problems. Do we have more, Maggie? We have two more. Light them up, light them up, light them up.

Remind me what the score is. I'm winning. Nicole's at what? We have two more. Light them up, light them up, light them up, light them up. Remind me what the score is. I'm winning. Nicole's at what? Two to one. She got closer on the... Oh, if we were going proximity, man, whatever. What? What traditional Christmas dessert was banned in England

in the 17th century for being considered a sinful indulgence? Oh, I don't know. I... You wanna guess? Dang, I'm just gonna say Christmas pudding. I was gonna say gingerbread. The correct answer is plum pudding.

Yeah, plum pudding is Christmas pudding. Yeah, same thing. Plum pudding, figgy pudding, they all have the same. Plum puddings don't even have plums in them, generally. Emily and I did a Meals of History about the time Christmas was banned. It was during the... God, what was it? Was it when Cromwell, Lord Protector, it took over? Christmas is banned for like seven years in England.

Wow. No way. Final question. So we're tied. We're tied. We're tied. We're tied. In Japan, what fast food chain is famously associated with Christmas dinner, often requiring pre-orders months in advance? On three. One, two. KFC, baby. The correct answer is KFC. KFC Taco Bell hybrids. I'll take that tie. Do we have another one queued up for a tiebreaker?

I can give you one. Give me one. Not holiday theme, but because in celebration of having Alan Tudyk on Last Meals and Talk About Later, he was on a show called Firefly. Oh, my God. What class of ship did his character wash pilot in the show Firefly the show, Firefly?

What is Firefly? Nicole gets it. God damn it. What? Sorry, she did the... Wait, I thought Firefly was a nickname for the ship. No, it's a class of ship. I believe you.

I believe you. I guess I win. But it didn't feel right. I even watched five episodes of Firefly. I'll give Nicole the win. Meggie, where can I watch Firefly? Hulu. Thank you for asking. I can watch it on Hulu Okay, I'm watching the great right now, but when I finished the great I will be watching Firefly and on Hulu they have the episodes in the correct order. That is correct. Yeah. Yeah that Fox did not air them in Oh, okay. Shout out to Alan Tudyk. I win. You do win, you do win. All right, we've heard from us enough.

Now it's time to find out what other wacky ears are rattling out there in the universe. Sound for a little segment we call Opinions are like casseroles! ["Opinions Are Like Casseroles"] Ooh! That was me being Elphaba from Wicked. Uuuhhhhhh! Hahahaha! Ahh! That was me being Alphaba

from Wicked. I've heard, I don't know if you've seen this recently, but I've heard that people are really holding space for and sitting in the power of There's no video. I'm so sad! There's no video in this section! But there are some shows that Nicole is using her dainty fingers to hold my finger

daintily. And the record show that Nicole is using her dainty fingers to hold my finger daintily. And I go, that was exactly what I wanted. That's what I was at. Am I Cynthia or are you Cynthia? Well I was playing the journalist, so you're Cynthia now. Okay. She does this a lot. She holds her hand on her clavicle.

It's a very empathetic gesture. Yeah, she does this a lot. The best part about that video is the journalist going, it's at least a few posts, I don't know if there are more. And being moved to tears by a few posts of anything is I think why we're a failed society. Should I let go now? I think you should let go of my finger. Yeah, yeah.

You feel like a baby, question my finger. You know? All right, let's get to that opinion while I'm going gonna Google the term for why babies have such strong grip. Ooh, that was hot. We're very hot. Hey, my name is Austin from South Carolina. Go Cox. My food opinion is that pickles can go on literally anything.

Everybody knows about the classic pickles and peanut butter, but I've also had pickles on cheesecake and it is delicious. You put pickles on literally anything and it'll make it better. Okay. Anyway, love you guys. I believe you. Oh, I love you. I love you too. And again, we are very hot. It's called the Palmar Grasp Reflex. Palmar?

So newborns have like very strong, like newborn babies can do pull-ups, right? Do you know how to get them out of the grip? Hold my finger. Okay. So pretend you're a baby. So what you do is you you push their wrist back. So you like push their wrist. You break you take the wrist. No you push the wrist and then they let go. So they get in top guard and then they're about to get you in you have to like a triangle choke and then you just gotta break the wrist. It's not breaking it. This is just baby jujitsu. You just gotta push it back. It's baby jujitsu. And then I get that baby on an arm bar, that baby's tapping.

I love babies. If that baby doesn't tap, I'm taking the arm. My brother just had a baby. Take that arm. I'm obsessed with her. I watched a lot of rousy fights growing up. Rhonda. Yeah, that arm bar man,

when she got that arm, she was taking that arm. Rhonda Rousy. She was taking that arm. Rhonda Rousy. Pickles on everything, pickles on. Pickles on most things. On most things. I've been recently indulging.

You? Yeah. No. And in a lot more sweet pickles. Pickles on... Pickles on most things. On most things. I've been recently indulging... You? No! And in a lot more sweet pickles. I hate sweet pickles right now. Well, I used to hate sweet pickles because to me they're not pickles until I reframed them in my mind, Nicole. Candied cucumbers.

Sweet and sour candied cucumbers. And I would chop those up and put them into a cheesecake because I think the sugar, the cream cheese, the candy, cucumbers, I think would really work together. I love this. Reframe what a pickle is. Take a pickle. I love all pickles, but I like, I think, half sours and full sours and dills more so.

Half sours are not a pickle. More so, I'm speaking, more so than, more so than like sweet pickles, bread and butter pickles. But you know, I'll say this much. I think pickles go on most things. I'm not gonna say everything, but most things, yes. Have you ever had a Persian pickle? Those are the best, because once you go Persian,

there's no other version. You heard it here first. That sounds like a terrible pickup line. You ever had a Persian pickle? Would you like to? Would you like to? That's not good. Only works in certain neighborhoods.

Hi, so my hot take is that artichokes are the ultimate vegetable. They're a thistle. That's pretty metal. They taste great on pizza. You can boil them. You can grill them. They're great slathered in butter. Stuffed with breadcrumbs.

You literally cannot go wrong with them. They actually have a chokehold on my life and the best possible way. Chokehold. So yeah, let me know what you think. Okay, bye. I fully agree. I think artichokes are truly one of the great vegetables.

However, anybody who has worked in a kitchen and has had to like turn artichokes, I don't know why I was just given a case of raw artichokes and taught how to turn them. And dude, the amount that you are, I can feel them prick my fingers. Now, and then turning them, it is the best vegetable, but it is so hard to extract.

Surely you can buy canned artichokes, you can buy jarred artichokes, you can, you know, any sort of preparation on that, that makes it a lot better. But like turning them yourself, so-su-su-sucks. They are such a hassle. And I wish there was a way to cultivate them without making them so hassly. Like a seedless watermelon, but a chockless one. No, not a seedless watermelon.

But something that was, I wish there was a way for us to be able to get in there without all of the pain and the misery of turning. I think the payoff of learning how to make your, like turn your own artichokes, is it really worth the cooking of it? But getting them, like you said, prepackaged and pre-done is like the best. They are really freaking delicious. But even like the artichoke hearts that you get in a can, I feel like a lot of the times I'm getting like tough exterior leaves on them.

Very rarely though. I'd rather just go hearts of palm. Oh my God. Hearts of palm. I am, oh my God. Swamp cabbage, baby. I get hearts of palm every single time I go shopping. And let me tell you, they are so delicious.

I put them in salads. I make little vegan ceviches with it. Let me tell you, I just eat them out of the can I love heart of palm and more people need to eat heart of palm It's a swamp cabbage is it I don't even know I'm cabbage the sable palm Check it out. Yes. Oh heart of palm is the edible core of the sable palm tree Yeah, which is where you can eat the like greens from it and it's called They're so beautiful. They're so beautiful. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, our jokes are great. Next opinion

I can't remember if you guys have ever talked about this, but what is so bad about microwaving water? Nothing. I know the Europeans get all up Okay, okay, I know what they're talking about about but a lot of Americans don't have kettles Oh, yeah, microwave, okay, and it takes a minute if you're worried about it Overheating and exploding in your face just throw a toothpick in the cup. Oh One time listener. Thanks. Bye. I've never heard of this toothpick trick. Oh, but have you heard about water exploding in a microwave? um no, I I listened to like a in a microwave? Um, no. Doug, I listened to like a nightly news report when I was like eight years old that was about

a woman that tried to boil water in the microwave and something happens very rarely apparently where the water looks like it's not boiling but you touch it and it explodes. Oh, ow. And that has freaked me the hell out ever since. So I have done that where I've microwaved water, didn't know how long I was in there, lost track of time, and I like poked a spoon in it and nothing happened but I've done that before that's funny. Oh my gosh. Maybe that's why Europeans think you should use a kettle but I think so much of these idiosyncrasies about food, food isn't what we consume,

food is who we are. Sure. Right and so I think when... What beautiful. Right? So when I think we tell a Brit who you you know, for them and for a lot of other people around the world, tea is such a big part of who they are and who the culture is. And when you tell them that I don't care enough about that to have a specialty device to do it, I'm fine bootlegging it in the microwave, I think that is then an affront to their identity.

A lot of it is also gentle shit talking, right? Where you just, oh, you don't have a rice cooker, you don't have this, whatever. And so I completely get it. It's generally in good spirits. I think you should buy a kettle. I think kettles are handy dandy. But I also have microwaved plenty of cups of tea if I don't have time to, you know, brew a whole kettle. But I got a kettle that's on its own like, like burner and it heats up in five minutes to 212 degrees. It gets boiling hot very, very fast. So I'm a, I'm an active tea drinker now. How much times a week, how much times a week you drink a tea?

Um, like four. Really? I drink it at night. So. What were you talking about, Echinacea? So David, um, studies at night and I brew him like strong black Persian tea and then I make myself a nice little caffeine free spearmint, peppermint, chamomile. Or lavender. And I just think it's nice to like curl up and

be on watch TV and have like a nice little hot drink instead of like eating like chips and candy, honestly, helps me a lot. So tea helps that. So I prefer drinking tea than like snacking at night and getting a kettle that heats up nicely and fast makes it easier. I heat my water in a pot. You heat your water in a pot. There's nothing wrong with that. I love a kettle. I'm Persian. We love tea. It's a big part of our culture. So I actually have gone through like telling my husband and my mom, like I need a samovar, which is like an old school like tea, like it's a kettle with like

water and then above it is a little like tea kettle. Will you percolator? Like a percolator and then a tea kettle. And like I really want one. So I've like told myself like whenever I become like a little bit like of an older fancier lady, I'm going to get myself a samovar, which is so stupid, because right now I'm kind of like rod-dogging it, like I just have a kettle on that little burner with like a little tea bag. But eventually, I'm gonna be a Samovar lady and I'm very excited about who that's gonna be!

Food is who we are. I love that, Josh. That's a really good tagline. You should make sure it's, let's say, food is who we are. That's good, man. You should do that. Let's take the nice things we say and turn it into commerce. What other way is there to are. That's good, man. You should do that. Just take the nice things we say and turn it into commerce. Well, what other way is there to live? That's a good point.

We have one more, Maggie? OK. Crank it. Crank that, soldier boy. Choco Bell's Baja Blast mixed with a white Riesling wine. Ah! Try it. Let me know.

I don't need to try it. I know it's good. I know it's dank. I'm down. I'm down. I'm down Why are you laughing? I'm down. shades of Andrew Ray, a famous culinary inventor, content creator. Binging with Babish is his name. And he is a one of the people who's popular as Gator wine. He made it? I believe he reacted to it on a YouTube video and then he proceeded to drink four glasses,

that is equal parts red wine and Gatorade, and he said it is delicious. Here is the thing. You take a thing that tastes good and you mix it with another thing that tastes good, with rare exceptions, those things are probably going to taste good together. If you would drink... I have a joke.

...white wine on itself and drink Baja Blast by itself, you add them together, it is going to taste like a thing you want to drink yourself. I have a joke. Nicole has a joke. Go do your joke. Is Gator wine what Lana Del Rey served at her wedding? That's a good joke. She married, I believe, an alligator trainer, alligator wrangler. I don't know. Lana Del Rey.

Did you like my joke? It was a good joke. If you, red wine and Coca-Cola, same thing. I did that the other day and then people were looking at me like it was all kind of crazy, but to be fair it was Diet Coke and two buck choc. Yeah, but that's what you should be making it with, but people think that's very strange. I made it on the plane into a drink called Cali Mocho. It's very delicious. You would drink red wine by itself, you would drink Coca-Cola by itself. A lot of red wine has similar spice notes as Coca-Cola, if we're being dead honest.

A nice peppery Zin probably is really good. Probably man, a little Syrah and Pepsi zero sugar. I'm no better, I'm no better, I'm no better. You know? And so anyways, alls I'm saying is you can mix a lot more things than you think man, do it. Yeah, period. Rose and chocolate milk, do it, who cares?

Period. Live your life. Live your life. Dr. Pepper and vodka, do it, call it Dr. Vodka. Yeah, we used to do Jager and root beer. That is not a combo that tastes good. You have never actively drank Jagermeister? Oh my God, no.

Every time I see that, people are like, what are you tacking it about? I agree, I agree. I've just never had a shot of Jager. Jagermeister, man, do it. Get a Jaeger kegerator, or whatever they call them. Jaeger kegerator? Yeah, the old Jaeger fridge kegs.

Well, on that note. Are we done? Thank you for listening to a hot dog. Oh, man. It's a Santa chart. Time is up. This is our last podcast of the year. Josh, what are you thankful for?

Into the new year. What are you thankful for in 2024? I'm thankful for all Into the new year. What are you thankful for in 2024? I'm thankful for all of our beautiful listeners. And all of our listeners who don't conform to conventional beauty standards. I love our ugly listeners as well. I only like the hot ones. There's no virtue in beauty at all.

Everyone is beautiful. Even the ugly people are beautiful. Even the ugly people are beautiful. Even the ugly people are ugly people are beautiful. Being ugly is cool these days too. There's a lot of really successful ugly people. Ugly people are having their year in 2024. Me and you? I think... yeah. I'm gonna get way uglier.

Professional uggo. I've ascended the amateur ranks to professional uggo. If you wanna be a... yeah, okay, okay, go. If you wanna be featured on opinions on iCastros, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833 Dogpod1. For more mythical chicken, check out our other videos. We launch new episodes every week. Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Josh is getting married! Amaka! Amaka!