A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Soup Does Not Exist

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

What if we told you that soup.. doesn't exist? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. You got your gazpachos, your flattlesoups, your fuzz, your ramens, there's a whole wide world of soups out there. But what if I completely blew your mind right now? And what if I told you, soup, it doesn't exist. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Err. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today, we're not having a typical debate, right? Like, we're not doing waffles versus pancakes.

No. We're not talking about if boneless wings are wings. No, we're not. We're talking about a greater existential concept that's very important to me and that nicole is that there's no such thing as a soup i'm so upset why are you upset because i come here and i'm expected to do a job and then you you fling this in my face 20 minutes before i'm supposed to come and sit down and do my job and you say hey did you know that soup doesn't exist and i'm like not this again i do. And you say, hey, did you know that soup doesn't exist? And I'm like, ugh, not this again.

I do kind of think it's hilarious that, like, you know, your background is in, like, food styling and recipe development, and you've worked in CBD companies, and you've done a lot of different things. And then also now we're just like, hey, so Josh has this completely insane idea that doesn't make any sense. Do you want to co-host a podcast?

And you're just like, yeah, that seems like a thing I was prepared to do after, like, you know, I don't know, making mac and cheese, you know, to scale for thousands of boxes at Walmart. Yeah. Well, anyways, here we are. So my whole thing about why soup does not exist, this actually came about because when we were doing the podcast about best pizza styles with Amanda Hesser, who is such a lovely guest, We had an opinion casserole where someone said, soup is not a meal. And that got me thinking, because obviously you and I enjoy soups like pho

and ramen. We eat them a lot in the office. But when this person said, soup is not a meal, I knew what they were referring to, right? They were referring to like a Progresso can of minestrone or tomato soup or something like that. But that could fill you up.

Oh, you'd take a lot of tomato soup to really fill you up. Really? No. I can eat like a bowl of tomato soup and I'm happy. But you would consider that like a meal. But also I ate a three pound burrito in like 15 minutes. Yeah, we found out there was about a pound of beef in each of those burritos that we ate. They were good though. I slurped that down like it was my job. It was real good. And it literally was that day. But the point is this person is saying soup is not a meal. And that led me to think about the fact that our definition of soup

is so, so, so broad because it can range from something like a tasteful shot of gazpacho that you sip at a wedding in Temecula to a giant 3,000 calorie bowl of ramen, meaning that the term soup is kind of useless. And this is actually coming from a very real place. There's a very famous phrase, I believe BBC actually has a podcast produced based on this idea, that is, there's no such thing as a fish. Stephen Jay Gould is a biologist and he is famous for this notion that there is no such thing as a fish, meaning that fish do not share any sort of common biological ancestor.

Technically, if there's any biologists or taxonomists or whatever out there, they'll say that, yes, they do, but also things that are not fish have that same biological ancestor as well. Anyways, point is, a salmon is more closely related to a camel than it is a hagfish however yeah that's crazy because hagfish they don't have jaws and salmon develop jaws and the only commonality that's the only commonality right is that they're underwater which is to say the only commonality no hagfish have no fins i don't even know if hagfish have gills they like don't have eyes there's these like gross they literally they have they're one of the only animals maybe the only animal to have or i think lampreys also have teeth but no jaws okay we got a live hagfish in the studio once they're fished off the coast

of california they're these prehistoric nightmares but the point is they're both classified as a fish because they kind of just like live underwater and they lay eggs which is the same way that soups are classified together as soups because they are like liquidy foods right i just google the hagfish big mistake dude they're brutal also apparently they're really delicious though okay it's a big uh there's a it's like an eel yeah so you're telling me an eel isn't related to salmon not only that nicole an eel is not even related to a hagfish what are you saying have no bones and eels have like hagfish are inver are you saying to me right now? Hagfish have no bones. And eels have like, hagfish are invertebrate. I believe this to be true. And eels are vertebrates, which is one of the earliest sort of like splits in evolutionary biology. We're going to get like actual smart

people in the comments who are just like, everything you're saying is wrong. And that's fine because I'm not here to debate evolutionary biology. Certainly not here to debate evolution. Boy, do I know nothing about that. All I know is when I see a video of a chimpanzee doing stuff, just like throwing its own poop, eating a banana. I'm like, yeah, I could see how I was that. Have you heard of Travis the Chimp? No.

What does Travis the Chimp do? Travis the Chimp was a famous chimpanzee that was in like film, movie, beloved by his family and neighbors. And then one time he attacked his owner's friend because she was holding his tickle me Elmo doll. This is right, right off the dome. And I don't know how I remember this factoid,

but, uh, he was, she was holding his tickle me Elmo doll, which he loved very dearly, dearly, and then attacked her face and limbs. And she's like,

she had to get like 50, like 15 surgeries. And like, it really sucked. This is, I shouldn't be laughing, but there is always a small part of me that like when someone has like a very wild animal as a pet and then something bad happens, I'm always just a little less sympathetic. Yeah.

There's a very upsetting, to me at least, TikTok video that everyone, including my girlfriend who sent it to me, seems to think it's very cute. This is the monkey's name is uh gaten this is on tiktok and there's a video of a woman who has a domesticated tiny maybe it's a capuchin monkey and this monkey is wearing a diaper it's hopping around her kitchen it's just screaming going and the monkey climbs into the fridge and grabs a thing of ready whip that is about the size of this tiny monkey's body and the monkey's just screaming and it's shaking the ready whip and this woman's like oh gaten you want some you want some whipped cream and this monkey just continues to shriek and she sprays whipped cream in this monkey's hands and he starts devouring it this like man-made processed sugar

food and this monkey is just screaming with a blood lust for ready whip whipped cream and to me i'm like how has man polluted nature so much that they just had this tiny monkey in a diaper yeah just screaming and fiending for whipped cream yeah travis was on the maury povich show did travis cheat on his fiancee and get a paternity test on the maury povich show no i think it's one of those like like i have a weird thing about me. Can you guess what it is, audience? And they're like, you have a tail or you have a chimpanzee. And then the audience votes and then it's revealed. Oh, God.

What is soup? We've got to get back to soup. We've got to get back to soup. My point is there is no such thing as a fish because it is such a broad term that is not meaningfully describing things that are so far away from each other in evolution in the same way that to me the term soup means nothing because if all it describes is liquidy foods that can encompass anything from gazpacho to polish fruit soup to a large bowl of ramen to me the term soup is absolutely meaningless there is no such thing i would go further nicole to say that there is no such thing as a beverage josh i don't believe we can

separate foods based on on levels of moisture i firmly believe that josh you literally had a tiktok concept called name that soup yeah so you're trying to tell me that we live in a society yes we do go on no no go on please take the floor the floor is yours i'm saying that i'm using the tools that people have given me right like obviously i know that people recognize the term soup i don't think it's right so like if i go to a diner i'm not gonna be like hey soup doesn't exist but give me that french onion liquid so what is the point of this? What is your point here? What are you trying to do with this prompt?

Okay, that's actually a great point. And you should probably ask me that question anytime we pitch an episode. Just like, hey, Josh, what are you trying to do? What's the point of all this? My thing is, I do believe that through a very America-centric lens, we tend to disrespect soup. And this is actually where I'm going with this. And I absolutely believe this, right? And so we get people who are in the opinion castro thing saying like, hey, soup isn't a meal while discounting the importance of soup.

Like, would you argue that soup is more important in damn near every other culture but America? I think soup is important in America. Do you? I mean, if you just think about it, I feel like we don't eat nearly enough soup compared to the entire world. Well, that's because we also live in California, and it's a very beautiful, lovely, temperate climate, but people are sucking down chowder.

They are sucking down chowder. Chicken noodle. I'm thinking about like, you know, kind of. Split pea. Split pea and ham. Yeah, you ever had a... What is that soup? Chicken tortilla soup from CBK? See, why does it always come back to CBK?

Because I love CBK. But no, like, you know, the idea of making a soup is that you are typically using every single part of an animal, right? Like if you... Okay, I see. Like Korean gamjatang, right? It's made with like the goat neck and stuff. And I think in America, we're like typically kind of afraid of using maybe like the off parts of animals or what we've deemed off parts.

So I just want people to like reconsider the idea of soup and not infantilize it. I don't think soup is infantilized. I think it's commodified in a very specific way because whenever people think of soup, most people in America will just think of Campbell's. Yeah, it's true. Soup is much more commodified in the United States.

I don't think it's, what did you say, infantile? Infantilized. I don't think it's infantilized and I don't think it's like not as like respected. I just think people have just had their soups canned in BPA filled containers their whole lives. I found out until the 1920s, Campbell's sold canned turtle soup.

What? But it's not real turtle soup. No Campbell's sold canned turtle soup. What? But it's not real turtle soup. No, real turtle soup. No way. Yeah. So Campbell's used to have real turtle soup. That apparently was like turtle soup was really popular in like one colonial times in America because there was like tons of snapping turtles and that recipe made its way back to Britain.

And then people just got sick of having to break down turtles. Naturally. And fabricate these turtles. Because can you imagine killing a turtle and ripping it out of its shell? Sounds brutal. And so like Campbell's in the 1920s was just like, yo, we can just make giant badges of this turtle soup, put it in cans, start selling it. And then they did and everyone was like, yo,

honestly, now that it's in a can, that's pretty gross. Yeah. And then they stopped. But I would love, I know we do the discontinued snacks on GMM. You want to try to find a can of turtle soup? I think it's worth it. I think if we can find a can of turtle soup from the 1920s. I'll try to pitch it. When I cleaned out my grandma's cabinet.

Someone's depressed family member? I was going to say depression era grandma. Someone's depressed uncle has been hoarding it for a hundred years. It's the only thing I care about anymore. I was saying when I cleaned out my grandma's cabinet when she moved, I like legitimately found spices that expired 20 years ago. Multiply that by five, you got someone's grandma out there got to have a can of Campbell's turtle soup. I believe this. Did you know that my mom has a jar of pickled vegetables that are the same age as me under her bed? Is this for good luck?

Yes. Really? And then whenever I think I get married or I give birth to my first child, we're going to pop that stuff open, buddy. Are you going to eat it? Yeah. It's fermented yeah but i mean like you don't have any any sort of worries about no we've been doing it for like centuries wait is this like an actual tradition yeah i mean not just like your mom or your family

no no no it's a very common thing it's torchi well it's it's pickled vegetables or we do garlic a lot of the time and it's like the liquid is black. Oh, my God. It's a black liquid. And then you take it out and it's like this beautifully pickled garlic clove. And it's like it's really old, but it's really good. So like, I don't know, let you know when I put that one open. Bring some into the office. I'm so excited for that. It's really interesting. It's like under her bed. But what does this have to do with soup?

Back to soup. So not only do I not believe soup exists, that got me thinking, like, what can be the base minimal definition of a soup, right? Especially if we consider it like noodle soups. And this whole- I don't think we should consider a noodle in the soup as being a defining factor. But I mean, to me, that makes it like a large meal. But I guess you could do the same with potatoes or any sort of starch that could be a big enough bowl of soup to constitute

a meal. That was like the original question that was posed that really got me thinking of soup is not a meal. I guess it wasn't a question. It was just like a very weird demand. It's like soup is not. I imagine this person got served soup as a meal and they were very angry. And for some reason, we were their outlet, which I really respect that we've become that for people. Thank you for making us your official sounding board of bad food opinions. We are your punching bags. Fine. So what constitutes soup?

Yeah, what's like the minimal? Something plus water. So you were talking about, I was thinking about really watery pastas because you talked about during our pasta shape episode, your food, it was a culinary professor, right? Yeah. Yeah, how he would like add- Like a chef?

Chef, that's the one. Culinary professor? Culinary professor. I didn't go to culinary school. To me, it's like Hogwarts. You're like professor of potions. You're like professor of sauces. You sauce doctor.

Dr. Sauce sounds like a really dope trap step DJ that I listen to. I was gonna say, that sounds like a good DJ name. But no, you mentioned him pouring the water into the pasta. I know that's just to loosen up the sauce. But then that had got me thinking about the last time I went to, shout out to Little Tony's, the official Italian-American restaurant of me. Little Tony's, when you're here, you're Italy.

That's the catchphrase I made up for them when I was like. Where is Little Tony's? Little Tony's is in North Hollywood. It's on the corner of Vineland and Lancashire, I believe. I've never been. Oh my God, you got to go. They sell like $13 bottles of wine. Don't know how they make money on it, but it's great because everyone at the table can just get a whole one.

And then they sell like $9 spaghetti. And for some reason, their veal parmesan is cheaper than their chicken parmesan. I don't know the economics of this place. That's crazy. They have that giant yellow sign that just has like, it just says like ravioli, lasagna, spaghetti. And like, you know, the it just says like ravioli lasagna spaghetti and like you know that like eyes are missing from ravioli anyways what is this magical place this sounds like narnia it's fantastic and it's the type of place which is i'm getting to a point here when

you order the spaghetti right they're not sauteing it in the sauce thing little tony's ain't got time for that you paid eight dollars for it so they take the spaghetti straight from the water okay slap it onto the plate and then put some like watered down tomato sauce on it. So the bottom of every bowl of spaghetti is at least a half cup of kind of pinkish tomato water. Okay, so that soup is what you're trying to tell me? Last time I was

eating it, I ate the last bit of this spaghetti with a soup spoon. Nicole, are you telling me that that's a soup? No. What separates that from Robin? What is it called? Tony Pease? No, no. Little Tony's. Tony with an I. Tony with an I. That's why you're getting confused, hon. I'm trying to make a

reservation. It's Tony with an I. But here's the thing. I think the son from Little Tony's took over like the bar area and he just calls it like cool Tony's or something. Oh, like cool guy Tony's? Yeah. I've driven past this place. I'm looking at the door. It's very familiar to me. Oh my gosh. I've driven past this place. I'm looking at the door. It's very familiar to me.

Oh my gosh. I playfully crap on it. I genuinely love little Tonys. When Trevor helped me move, I took him to little Tonys. That's nice. It was the loveliest time. Why don't you take me anywhere? But they got watery spaghetti soup. We can't go anywhere.

World shutdown. I'll take you to a park and we'll sit on a bench. Josh, I feel like I tell you this at least once every three podcasts. It is the intent of the person serving the meal. But what exactly is the intent of a soup? Think about that one. It is a liquid. How much liquid got to be there?

Wet. Wet enough. Wet enough. Okay. Like, it's not a sauce. Sauce and soup are two different things. Can we agree on that? I believe I would agree.

If I warm up a bowl of ranch and I give it to you, is that a soup? Or is that a warmed up bowl? I'd eat it, but it's a bowl of warmed up ranch. It might actually be a custard if you really break it down. But have you ever had someone make their famous tomato soup from scratch and you taste it and you go, oh, yeah, that's called marinara? That to me is a very, there's a lot of crappy lunch places around here that we order from where their tomato soup is indistinguishable from a pasta sauce.

Yeah, I guess. So when does that tomato soup become a sauce? Whenever it's paired with something else or it's being dipped in something else. But if you say just get a side of marinara dipping sauce that we've both agreed can be indistinguishable from a hypothetical place's tomato soup, let's say, oh, lemonade in Burbank with your marinara-ass tomato soup. I actually really like it there. Yeah, I like eating a bowl of marinara too, but it's a sauce. No, it's good. Stop being me.

If you go to the Olive Garden and you get a side-dipping sauce of marinara, but the breadsticks never come, and you're eating that with a spoon, have you had a bowl of soup or have you had a bowl of sauce? The intent was for it to be a sauce, of course, to dip the breadsticks in, but it's indistinguishable. If someone switched that out at the last minute with a bowl of

soup from lemonade, have you eaten a soup or a sauce? Is this a Schrodinger soup situation, Nicole? Oh my God, this is Schrodinger soup. This is literally Schrodinger soup is what you're trying to do to me right now. It's not happening. The soup is both alive and dead. This is more of a Pavlov's dog situation where when I hear the word soup, I just go, huh? No, I, I, again, again, I think tomato soup is one of those things that, you know, it's a little muddy. It's a little confudito for the guests at the table. Okay. Tomato soup and marinara sauce, very similar.

They can be interchangeable. So I'll give you that. Okay? Thank you. But I'm not going to say if you put a bowl of sweet chili sauce and i give you a spoon and i say enjoy your soup you're gonna just eat it and say okay that's soup what about polish fruit soup what about it so we we had or you i act like i do anything on on gmm anymore stuff i do stuff i do stuff but you you made the polish fruit soup yeah right it was like a kind of thin sweet milky

liquid yeah it was like a creamy soup yeah, sweet, milky liquid. Yeah. It was like a creamy soup. Yeah. But like that is explicitly called a soup, right, in Poland and both what we refer to it as. But I'm thinking about this Vietnamese dessert called chai thai. Have you ever had this? It's like sweetened coconut milk with various like fruit jellies in it and also fresh lychee. Okay.

And stuff like that would not be considered a soup to most people. It's simply like a dessert that happens to be liquidy. And also you tend to like drink it. Like at what point does a sweet soup like that, which we both agree are reasonable soups. Maybe it's the volume of the container in the container that is being served in. Are there any other foods that once they go into a different container, they kind of change constitution and cease to be that food? Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm trying to think right now. I'm going to say cereal, but cereal soup.

We are going to tie ourselves in so many logical knots with our previous episodes. No, I don't think there's another food that can change like that. No, I'm saying no. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't believe that's another food that can like change like that. No. I'm saying no. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Like, I don't believe that to be the case. Yeah, no. No. No. No. Yeah. No. Here's the thing.

Okay. If you look back at the cereal is soup debate. Where you ruined my thought process. You ruined your thought process. But now that I look at that, we were never debating is cereal soup. What were we debating? We were merely debating does soup exist? We just didn't know it yet.

Okay. So this is like the more advanced version. Yeah. This is V2. What's the, I'm probably going to butcher this. Any philosophy people out there, come at me, bro. But the idea of like reductio ad absurdum, which is the idea of you can, Hold on, hold on! If you like break an argument down and get someone to agree to an

absolutely ridiculous premise, you kind of show that the whole thing is shot. The whole concept is also absurd. So this idea of if you break the concept down so much and get someone to agree that cereal is soup, cereal is absolutely not soup. It's crazy.

Yeah, it is! You can't go to a diner, go get me a bowl of soup, you get a bowl of frosted flakes. It's ridiculous. It's one of those things you know on the inside. You don't have to let everyone know on the outside.

It's a secret for you and nobody else. Just don't tell anybody. Yeah, have you ever had a secret before? It's like that friend that you're like watching Ancient Aliens with

and you're just like, man, these people are- I love Ancient Aliens. Have you ever seen Naked and Afraid? No. Naked and Afraid is the best show ever. It's just people in the freaking jungle in the Arctic tundra and they're naked and you're just like man these people have you ever seen naked and afraid naked and afraid is the best show ever it's just people in the freaking jungle in the arctic tundra and they're

naked and you're like what are you doing here buddy and they're like my name is heather i've been a survivalist for six months and she's like dying of like typhoid fever in the rainforest and you're like heather you need medical attention sorry you ever had that friend where you're like talking about how crazy conspiracy theories are and then you're like yeah it's like someone believes that like i don't know aliens built the pyramids and then they just go like oh well i mean if you actually look at the archaeological and it's like oh no you're one of them too that's like the cereal soup thing you just keep a bottle inside so your friends never think you're weird yeah i guess i okay. Josh, soup is real. It exists.

No. Yeah. Soup is real. The sky is real. The pyramids were silos for storing grain. Dr. Ben Carson said that as he was falling asleep at the podium. No, I... Josh.

To take this even further. What? There is no such thing as a beverage. Yeah, there is. Absolutely not. I'm holding up my can of water. That is water. I think water may be the only beverage because it does not have nutritional content.

I think only Diet Coke. What did I just slurp? What did I just slurp? A beverage. Let the record show that Nicole slurped liquid death water out of Liquid Death. Come sponsor our podcast. But we really do love it. What a fantastic product.

Good water. I think the only beverages. Hold on. Stay with me here. Okay, I'm right here. Stay with me here. This is going to get a little wonky. Are calorie free and no sodium.

Even some water does have sodium in it. But I think anytime there is nutritional content in anything, that that is a food. anytime there is nutritional content in anything, that that is a food. And I think liquid foods, as you separate them based on your needs and wants, are under that umbrella because, okay, so think about this, right? Consomme, right?

Beef consomme. Yeah, yeah. That's a soup. You mean bone broth? Bone broth, but yeah. I love bone broth. Is that a soup or a beverage? Bone broth?

Yeah. Both. It's just both? I think you'd have to subcategorize it. Again, I think it's how it's served. If I'm having it in a bowl with a spoon, it's a soup. And if I'm having it in a coffee cup with a little like... If I'm having it in a coffee cup from an artisanal butchery,

yeah, then it's a beverage. But you and I have both been to so many fancy food events, right? Where they're serving individual very small portions of things. But that's because they can't, that's because they have no other way of serving it. They're putting soups in cups that you're meant to sip. Okay, but there's no other way. Is that a beverage or a soup? But there's no other way to serve it. Because Stella Artois was the official beverage, and so if this

soup is a beverage, Stella Artois, Stella Artois really did sponsor a lot of these food events. They sure did, yeah. I took home so much free Stella Artois. Yeah, me too. No, no, I took home like sunglasses. I have a pair of Aperol Spritz sunglasses and a bandana. I miss these fancy food events. They're so fun. But you see what I'm saying?

Like there's such a fine line that's very hard to distinguish, which is why I think we need to do away with those categories. No, no. I just think you're trying to take the piss, man, right now. I think you're just trying to rile me up and get me to say stuff that so I can agree and you can just make me another cult member of yours. I'm not interested, Josh. I'm not coming to over to your soupless cult. I'm not taking part in this. The cult of radical consumable inclusionism because, okay, so the broth thing, right? Broth, bone broth, being a super beverage,

who really knows what it is. I would consider that a soup. Campbell's, right right we agree they're in the business of making soup yes right campbell's a soup company yes you've heard the phrase campbell soup yes you've seen the the uh andy warhol painting of the campbell soup why is your tone so why is your tone so serious all of a sudden did i do something wrong did i call you a cult leader and i hurt your feelings no i do think that you and i both together could start a pretty good call yeah yeah yeah like one of the cool ones one of the cool ones like the the cult in venice uh i probably shouldn't name them lest we get sued but i think they disbanded but anyways look up the whole article they were illegally selling kombucha um anyways campbell's right we can all agree that they're in the business making soup yes i agree with you yeah so campbell's launched a campaign back in i

believe the 1960s and it was it was that very era type, you know, magazine ad where it's just like a large illustration and a couple words. And it was of a Campbell's can of beef broth being poured over ice. And I thought initially when I saw this that it was like to make a cocktail, which is what is like a bulldog or something. They're like cocktails that use beef bouillon, right? And you'll put that in Bloody Marys and stuff. Never have I ever heard of that before. Oh, really? No. Oh, dude, it's good. cocktails that use beef bouillon, right? And you'll put that in Bloody Marys and stuff. Never have I ever heard of that before. Oh, really? No.

Oh, dude, it's good. Like vodka, beef bouillon, horseradish. What? Yeah. What are you talking? I've never had that before. I would love that. I would love a savory cocktail.

Yeah, I mean, it's basically the concept of a Bloody Mary, just like less tomato. So tired of these fruity-ass cocktails. Give me some beef tails. Yeah, give me some beef and whiskey. I did have, I did have a, I think it was a, it was at Bevel and it had lamb fat bourbon in it. Oh, yeah, yeah. What was it called?

What was it? That's so funny because at their other restaurant, they did a ham fat washed bourbon in a glass. It was really good. Yeah, put more pork, put more animal fat in your cocktails. It was delicious. Okay, sorry, backtracking, continue. This is Campbell's ad that showed

a can of beef broth being poured over ice and it was not for a cocktail. It was simply, hey, pour your beef broth on ice and drink it, it's refreshing. So they literally tried to take this soup and then just remarket it as a beverage. It didn't change its actual,

you know, chemical makeup at all in the process. It was merely Campbell's trying to tell you that you could enjoy this in a different way, but putting it in a completely different subcategory, going from soup to beverage, which is why to me that there should be no lines. No, I'm telling you, it's the container that you're giving it in. I'm telling you, unless you're going to fancy events, because you can't afford spoons. I'm telling you, unless you're going to fancy events, because you can't afford spoons. The difference between a soup and beverage is a container that you are given it to consume in, insofar as you can afford spoons.

Yes. It's so funny because it's true. At all those fancy events, they're trying to cut costs so much that they're just like, we buy a thousand spoons. That's an extra like 80 bucks at Smart and Final. Yeah, I can't afford that. They're already not paying us for this event. But like if any famous person walks by, we're going to put some caviar on top of their uni tostada.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. God, I miss that. Yeah, well, I'm just telling you now, man, I don't think me and you are going to, I think we've reached an impasse in our brains. Like you can tell me blank doesn't exist, but if I see a bowl of it, it exists to me.

Yeah, I'm still going to scroll to the soup section on the postmates like you know soup is real you're just trying to make a point right now yeah i just i think soup has been uh infantilized by a lot of people especially in america because we have this very insular notion of what soup is like when this person said soup is not a meal i feel like they were picturing you know a small cup of, say, like thinned out French onion or beef and barley from a diner or something like tomato soup. Whereas there's a whole gigantic broad world of soups out there, which to me also includes stews. If you're going to insist that soup exists, stew is simply a soup. Absolutely not.

But come on. Absolutely not. All right, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas Are rattling out there on the internet It's time for a segment we call Opinions are like Casserole

Roll Roll Dubstep dubstep That was more Inception trailer Roll, roll. Dubstep, dubstep. That was more Inception trailer than dubstep, to be clear. Wasn't that cool how I did the mic thing? That was good. Yeah, Maggie, was that cool?

Did you get that? Aw, thumbs up. Maggie got it. Also, speaking of dubstep, I'd like to issue a slight apology for an episode of Mythical Kitchen. This is where I've decided I'm going to start doing these apologies uh when i mentioned casper and rusco being the godfathers of dubstep and i forgot to mention benga um benga uh benga is is also godfather of dubstep and i was always a rusco girl me too i mean rusco was a rusco girl and they have visco girls now we had

rusco girls i was gonna make that joke right now too same brain i just talked too fast all right let's get into it we got at showerhead cholula is quote mexican hot sauce for white people tapatio or valentina is where it's at i've been saying this for years i i don't cholula is legitimately from mexico it's from Chapala. Tapatio has a very interesting story behind it. And you used to work with Tapatio, right? I loved it. Before I worked for them, after I worked for them, I've always loved Tapatio hot sauce. It's one of the top five for me any day of the week. I also love Tapatio.

Tapatio, for me, is the king of breakfast hot sauces. For some reason, just the taste of Tapatio on a breakfast burrito. Cholula is a little bit more aesthetic. Tapatio has got more of that kind of of bitter chili heat i dig on valentina too but to me it's between tapatio and chalula um but it's kind of crazy the history behind tapatio um it was you know tapatio is the slang term for residents of guadalajara yeah which is the biggest city in the state of jalisco and i always assumed that Tapatio was like a Jaliscan style hot sauce or something. That's why it was called that. It was made by someone from Guadalajara.

It was not actually, there were just a lot of Jaliscan immigrants in the United States. And it was a businessman from Mexico who was like, I'm just going to give this a name that I think will be very marketable to the immigrants who are living in the United States right now. So I'm going to call it Tapatio because I know there are a lot of Jaliscans in the States. And so I always thought that was just like really interesting. It'd be like, you know, if there was some like authentic brand Texas chili that was marketed to people in France

and it was made by a dude from Seattle. Like it's kind of the same relationship. But yeah, man, there's no time for hot sauce infighting. I'm not the biggest Valentina fan. I feel like it has a little bit of a bitter note to it at the end. I also think Cholula's like not bland. It's just very one note to me in terms of hot sauce. Cholula's basic in a way that I don't dislike.

Yeah. You know? I'd much rather have Tapatio over Cholula than you do. Yeah, yeah. Agreed on that. Atwood Flannery says, I dip my steak in applesauce. It's not done. I also dip chicken tenders in my applesauce. I also crush crackers into my applesauce. It's not done. I also dip chicken tenders in my applesauce.

I also crush crackers into my applesauce. My applesauce hates me. I also hate you. What is wrong with you? No, no, no, no. We don't hate anyone for their food opinions. Okay, I don't like your food opinions. Is that okay?

Yeah, I think that can be. This is wild. This is a little bit too much. This is an outlier. What were you trying to impress? Applesauce man? Chicken tenders and applesauce. I can't see that. Applesauce is wild. This is a little bit too much. This is an outlier. This is, this is. What were you trying to impress? Apple sauce mash? Chicken tenders and apple sauce. I can't see that.

Apple sauce is kind of like an unseasoned chutney. Fun, a little fun fact. Hey, Nicole, do you want a fun fact? I'd love one. Thanks. You know the, the tamarind chutney that's often served at Indian restaurants, right? Yeah. It comes next to like the very herby green chutney.

Uh-huh. Most places to save on costs, because you kind of have to offer that as like a free thing if you're going to be an Indian restaurant in the States, most places to save costs will not use tamarind and they will use apple butter. Interesting. I love, I think tamarind has such a specific taste that apple butter can't really.

Apple butter plus citrus. I guess. You know what I'm saying? Wow, no, I've, you know, I've never really experienced that. So maybe I have and I haven't known, but tamarind is so specific to me in terms of taste, color, texture, but who knows? Yeah. So I'm thinking like applesauce is just an under-seasoned version of tamarind chutney.

That's fine. That's a reach. That's a reach. This is weird. But again, you enjoy the steak and applesauce. That's a bizarre thing that I've never heard about. It's like pork chops and applesauce. Yeah, just beef chops. Just beef. Beef chops and applesauce. Yeah, just beef chops. Beef chops

and applesauce. Yeah, this is pretty normal, I guess. Weird. Alright, at Charlin a tat. Fritos dipped in chocolate ice cream is the equivalent of fries and a milkshake on the yummy scale. Ooh, that sounds really lovely. I love, I'm a big fan, me and my girlfriend, we'll like, we'll

take like a bowl of vanilla ice cream and it's just like our little treat when we're like watching our shows. And we'll put a little bit of cornflakes on it and then like, I don take like a bowl of vanilla ice cream and it's just like a little treat when we're like watching our shows. And we'll put a little bit of cornflakes on it and then like a little bit of honey and sea salt. And it's just what a treat. God, we're freaking adorable. But yeah, Fritos and chocolate ice cream

sound really good, better than fries and a milkshake to me. Yeah, the chocolate ice cream and the Fritos, it all makes sense to me. It sounds really good. Yeah, Fritos have such, they're so salty and they're so corny. They're so corny. I'm corny for Fritos.

Okay. Again, Wood Flannery says, raw green beans are better than cooked ones. Don't at me. The point of this is that we're going to at you, Woodflannery. Woodflannery, I'm at you. I'm at you. I'm at you right now. Come to my house and have some green bean stew and you will change your mind.

Have you ever had raw green beans? Maybe like once or twice. I don't know if I've ever had them like truly raw. I know. I've like. I've probably munched on them. Well, one thing that I do at the grocery store whenever I'm buying green beans for my mom is I always like taste one just to see like how they, if they're mushy or like if they're like okay in the middle but like it's not an enjoyable thing

it's more like a thing I have to do yeah yeah that's like when I when I taste like a raw chicken breast I'm just like I just need to make sure no that's wrong that's bad I have had chicken sashimi in LA you told me that was that was a pretty cool experience that's illegal illegal also illegal in Japan which is is funny, I think. Well, that's because their chickens are probably treated a little bit differently. No, it's illegal in Japan now. It's illegal now. Yeah. Where is it legal?

I mean, probably places with just like less stringent laws that they don't really gaffe about it. But yeah, but I assumed it was something that was like, oh, this is popular in Japan, illegal in the States, and this place is doing it kind of underground. But they're like, no, it's illegal in Japan too, and it's pretty gross. Gross. And it was, but I'm glad was but it was gross yeah not good not good not like sushi no it has a real kind of snappy texture to it and also chicken raw chicken is almost kind of like milky bland and bacterial it tastes bacterial yeah you know that little kind of like bacterial funk you get from like kind of organ meats and stuff like that and like chances are you won't get sick but but you know, probably don't.

I'm not the person to opine on food safety. All right. At EcoNOSP, you ever think about how many names we butcher? All of them. But my name's been butchered my whole life. So whatever. Girl. Payback.

Snaps from Nicole Hendizadeh. I prefer mustard over ketchup in 99% of any and all situations Except for one I will dip my carrots in ketchup What? That's not even a situation where you would dip it in mustard That's not like a I thought they were going to be like, you know

I don't know, I dip my hot dogs in ketchup And it's like, oh, some people do Carrots in ketchup I mean, I love ketchup, so I'm down a bit Okay, let me tell you what's going on right now So when they were kids They probably, like, their mom or dad was like, hey, honey, I'm going to put you some mini hot dogs.

Take a look and enjoy them, okay? And then the mom was like, she had an episode. And she was like, stop, let me finish. And she's like, oh, no, the cocktail we need is a no-logger there. Let me get and put something similar for my child. And then they put carrots, mini carrots. And then the kid was like, hmm, these are weird hot dogs, but I'll still eat them. Because kids don't do anything you tell them because they're so impressionable.

So I think that's what happened. You believe that this person's mom, when they were a child, had an episode and replaced their hot dogs with carrots, informing their condiment choices for the rest of their life yeah i'll buy that uh cool i guess we can move on because we we solved it we solved that mystery good news good news eco naz get go to therapy okay next up i gotta say i p i peeped this next one really quick peeped i peeped this next one really quick. I peeped this next one really quick. This is the wildest set of opinions. I haven't seen it yet. We've never had it. Okay, let me read it.

Let me read it in real time. Okay, at Beef Flakes says, I like to replace my bread with onion. Taking the outermost layer, cutting it in half, and placing ham, sharp cheddar, and a squirt of mustard between the two halves. I talk about it at work, and all I get are skeptical looks. Where do you think they work? Lowe's. I was imagining like a Bank of America

teller. Really? No. Just like a slow day at Bank of America, just turn into your fellow teller and be like, hey, hey, hey, Julie. Hey, Julie, did you know that I like to replace my bread with onions? No, no, no. This is at Lowe's know that I like to replace my bread with onions? No, no, no. This is at Lowe's when they're like stacking up the floor floors and stuff.

And they're like, hey, Peter, I never told you this, but you know how like you use bread for sandwiches? Guess what I do? Listen, listen, listen. Onions. And they're just like, bro, what the F? No, this is weird. Like it's probably like a low carb option or something. Still, like I wouldn't want to sit next to you on like a bus.

I'm down with the smell of onions. I accept people with all the smells. Raw onion smell in another person's mouth? Oh, that's a fair amount. And when we did that whole Captain Crunch thing on TikTok, and we had like just 20 pounds of chopped onions around us. That was the worst thing I've ever done. That was brutal. I was crying the whole day.

Well, there's, okay, what's a better low-carb sandwich option? Have you seen those pickle subs people are doing? Yeah, that's fine. I think that's awesome. Cabbage, lettuce, protein style lettuce. I love lettuce wraps so much. CPK has the best lettuce wraps I've ever had in my darn life. I'm sorry.

I love CPK so much. I've seen people, I've seen the craziest thing. People take slices of sweet potato and put them in the toaster and it like toast is that real yeah but there's no way that are cooked you can't yeah right there's no way they're cooked i'm not crazy right you would start like for that sweet potato to actually get cooked in the toaster it would have to release a fair amount of moisture right that's what i'm saying and then that moisture would just like drip into the toaster and ruin it yeah why not just air fry two thick slabs and call it a day?

You could literally just microwave the sweet potatoes and it would work out better for you. Yeah, but microwaving isn't sexy. Like air fryer is sexy. Air fryers are sexy. Yeah, like microwaves aren't sexy. I'm corny for air fryers. I'm corny for microwaves. I cook a lot of the food on GMM with microwaves.

Yeah, we got a sous chef microwave and then junior sous chef Trevor. Trevor's just underneath microwave. Not in terms of rank or efficiency, just in terms of payment. We pay the microwave more. All right, at Suburban underscore Chud, if it doesn't come from a lactating mammal, it should not be called milk.

Show me the tits on an almond. Show me the tits on an almond is the funniest thing I've ever heard, but also this is incredibly ignorant about the etymology of the actual word milk. The etymology of the word milk comes from old English and has been used. It literally just means to rub or extract. And so the term almond milk has literally been used for hundreds of years. And now that people who others have deemed quote unquote soy boys, right? Suppose almond boys are drinking milk alternatives. Somehow people try and use this as, you know, millennials trying to change the history of

words. But the people who say that almond milk shouldn't be called milk are the actual ignorant ones trying to change definition of words. Milk has nothing to do with tits. Just rubbing them. I have nipples, Greg. Would you milk me? i'm done i agree with everything you said i saw that glint in your eye you were waiting for my like 90 second

incoherent rant to drop i have nipples i was just staring at you like are you done yet are you done yet okay jasper 36401375 is that your social security number bro i'm trying it uh frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are better than room temperature okay this makes sense to me a little bit because whenever i used to have incrustables i would put them in the freezer for like five minutes and the jelly would turn into this oh my god like cold peanut butter is like the bomb diggity so i i understand this, and I really, really respect it, and I really, really like it. So good job, Jasper, security code, last name. Jasper, what's your mother's maiden name?

And the model of your first car next time, if you could. No, I know what you mean about cold nut butter. Yeah, it's really good. I think a fly just flew into my eye. Yeah, you're chilling. That's about how this day's been going. Fly going in the eye. Just accept it.

Just accept it. I think a fruit fly literally climbed into my I make a peanut butter and banana sandwich every morning. I put it in the microwave for eight seconds. Everyone goes, Josh, you must eat so good. And I'm like, I do. I microwave my morning sandwich for eight seconds. Sous chef microwave.

Sous chef microwave coming in the clutch every morning for me. That's what I do before you and Trevor get here. I get here at 8.15. You get here at 8.15? I get here at 8.15 every day. You tell us to come here at 9.15. Yeah, I like my morning time.

I get to microwave my sandwiches. I get to spend time with Sous Chef Mike. That's what I call him, Sous Chef Microwave. This is the funniest day. Oh my god. Do I have a fly in my eyes? Yeah, yeah, you're fine though. It's cool.

Look at my eye. Yeah, no, it's not there, I don't think. Yeah, it's the goy fly. Come to bless our holidays. Okay. At Supple Oranges, frozen burritos are exceptional when eaten with sweet pickle relish, and I refuse to eat them any other way? Uh, that's a little gross.

This segment, what Pandora's box have we opened up with? We thought when we were doing this opinion casserole segment that we'd get like eight opinions from people. Yeah. And some people would be like, I don't like grapes. And Nicole and I would sit here and be like, I don't know, grapes are pretty good. But we have literally thousands of these. And it is like playing Mad Libs with the food world. So true. with the food world where people are like, I know it sounds crazy, but take adjective food, combine

it with adjective non-sequitur food in part of your house. They're like, I only like eating frozen popcorn burritos on my couch with cream. And it's like, what? Yeah, this is weird. Sweet pickle relish? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's like, again,

all of this is like psychology, like child psychology. Like you must have had a really delicious bite of meal and you've been trying to chase that high since you were four. Yeah. I don't see it. Nicole and I are, I think, basically licensed child psychologists because kids love Mythical Kitchen. And so, yeah, anyone needs child psychological needs, come to me, Nicole. We got this. Yeah.

As a child who grew up eating uh microwave hot dogs with sweet chili sauce you just said microwave hot dogs microwave hot dogs yeah the g is silent hot dog so someone ate microwave hot dogs with sweet chili sauce on it and then i'd wrap it in foil and let it sit while i played uh video games um but i never had like the the consoles that were out at the time josh when you were when you were a chubby young man, were your hands fatter than they are now? No, no, no, no. That's the crazy thing is my limbs, Nicole.

My limbs were very thin, very thin limbs, but this large barrel chest, big old neck. I had parents come up to me and I was, again, like an 11-year-old child. And they would come up to me and they go like, do you have a thyroid condition? And I'd be like, I'm 11.year-old child. And they would come up to me and they'd go like, do you have a thyroid condition? And I'd be like, I'm 11. Oh, my gosh.

What do you mean? I'm so sorry. Anyways, a lot of microwave hot dogs in my diet. And I really loved it. So I kind of get the sweet pickle relish and burrito. What kind of parent, what kind of adult would I know? What a thyroid? Like, also, if you see like a kid that you think might have cancer and you go up to him and just go like hey do you got cancer that's abhorrent don't do that what if i did what

were you gonna do about my thyroid condition if i did have one i'm so sorry i would have been i would have for sure been friends with you when you were like eight okay so i like had friends like i was like i had a lot i was popular i was just you know a little big and on that note thank you for listening to a hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or NHendizadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes,

hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. See you next time. The only line I can tell you from any Robert De Niro movie is, I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me? You talking to me? You milking me? You milking my nipples, Greg?