A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - The One Thing You Should Never Cook For Thanksgiving

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Thanksgiving is upon us and today, Josh and Nicole are talking about the ONE THING you should NEVER cook for Thanksgiving! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Buckminster Fuller once asked, why work useless jobs when technology and automation can let us lead more meaningful lives? What the heck are you talking about? Dude, I just really don't want to make a pie this Thanksgiving. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And today, Nicole, we're talking all about Buckminster Fuller.

I'm Wikipedia-ing this individual. I really don't know that much about him. All I know he was kind of like pro universal basic income in the sense that he thought automation would like allow people to not be in the workforce and this whole idea that people like need to have a job to fulfill a role in society he sort of thought would be. I disagree.

You think that people like should have a. No I don't think people should have jobs. Oh I agree yeah yeah. With so much automation why would you need that? I think the best thing for us to do is everything to be made by robots and we just chill and then we have another renaissance of like painting and art and creativity. Yeah, I've said that to people before and they looked at me like I was like sort of. My most radical idea politically is that Subway sandwiches should be free. Like in the way that our government provides free clean drinking water to everybody, I think we should provide free Subway sandwiches should be free. In the way that our government provides free, clean drinking water to everybody,

I think we should provide free Subway sandwiches because to me, that's like the lowest level of food. Is it? It's like clean drinking water. It's like, ah, you get a little turkey sub with lettuce, tomato. I love Subway. I love good, clean drinking water.

Nicole, I love potable water. Speaking of turkey sandwiches from Subway, let's talk about Thanksgiving, shall we? Great segue. Thank you. Nicole, we're talking about the one thing you should never cook from scratch on Thanksgiving. What should you and the Buckminster Fullerian idea let automation take care of? We have grocery stores, right? People who are paid to make ready-made food for you.

What's the one thing you should never make? And I think we should do this fantasy draft style. Nicole, you love fantasy football. Yeah. My husband is in two basketball ones and two football ones. Oh, basketball is tough. Yeah. I want to straight up steal from Ian Carmel's fantastic podcast, All Fantasy Everything.

Ian, we love you, buddy. Come on the show. Oh, what does he do? I think, oh, they turn everything into a fantasy football draft which i think like like for example like like flavors like the one thing you should never cook on thanksgiving no like the like flavors of kool-aid like yeah yeah they'll do stuff like that yeah oh that's cool okay oh yeah he works like different seeds lovely guy seeds the the eighth seed is versus the first seed oh I thought you were talking about

like doing a fantasy draft of seeds like sorghum sorghum goes number one overall you're so stupid there's no way

you thought I was saying that I actually did there's no way so Nicole I want to give you the first overall draft pick

of what is the one thing you should never cook on Thanksgiving really yeah me yeah what do you think what an honor um damn for me honestly i hate going to um thanksgiving and the pies are bad yes bye that that was your bad jonathan taylor that was gonna be my number one overall pick too. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. You know, he's living a great

virtuous life. He's not a little kid anymore. He's like a 40 plus year old man. He'll always be a little kid from AI. I think he got a graduate degree from Stanford maybe. And now he's just living on the low. There'll be like a paparazzi photo once every seven years of them just like walking their dog. That's a good way to live your life. Great way to live your life. Pie.

Pie, pie, pie, pie. You don't make it from scratch. Pie from scratch. Unless you're good at it. Yeah. Like don't attempt to make a pie if you've never made a pie before. Don't attempt to make your own crust. Please just don't.

Don't even try it. Just buy store-bought. Like just buy it from the store. Even though we do have a great recipe for a delicious pumpkin pie. Oh, we do have a good pumpkin pie. Don't get me wrong. It's your pumpkin pie recipe. Like, just buy it from the store. Even though we do have a great recipe for a delicious pumpkin pie. Oh, we do have a good pumpkin pie recipe. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, it's a good pumpkin pie recipe.

But if you've never made it before, I saw a TikTok one time that said, Thanksgiving is not the time to experiment. Yeah. Don't experiment on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving. Experiment maybe two weeks before. You know, you have the time. You have the patience. On Thanksgiving Day, everything goes to, like, crap anyway.

So don't even, like, a pie, a custardy pie on Thanksgiving? Why would you make that unless you know what you're doing? Not to – every time I explain something from my childhood, you seem to get sad. I do. I cried last time. It's bad. You know, life's weird. Everyone's family situation is different. Sometimes the holidays are hard. But I remember growing up, we would make everything on Thanksgiving, just me, my dad, my brother,

from what we considered scratch. But it was like, you know, green bean casserole scratch, where it's like you combine one can with another can with a can topping. And that's it. But something would always go wrong. Yeah, I believe it. Always end can with a can topping. Yeah, sure. And that's it. But something would always go wrong. Yeah, I believe it. And it would always end up in a huge fight. Yeah, I believe it. And then there was the one year where my dad went to the hospital because we had the really flimsy turkey pan. He tried to take the turkey out, but it spilled all over him.

He got third-degree burns on his arm. Ouch, ouch, ouch. That's what he thought. No one got in a fight because it was just like, oh, let's hope dad doesn't die from this. But anyway, the point is, yeah, Thanksgiving is already an emotionally fraught time. Totally. We're coming off of midterm elections. You already got to brace yourself for those.

Is that why people are stressed out? Maybe. I don't know. Who's stressed out? You stressed out? For Thanksgiving? Absolutely not. No, me neither.

Wait, why not? What are you doing for it? Because I don't do anything on Thanksgiving. Do you not celebrate at all? I know. I go to Thanksgiving. I just don't cook for it. Oh, man.

It's not my responsibility. How have you, Nicole, a food media maven, how have you not been the person to get roped into cooking? Well, I make a dessert, maybe. A pie? Not always. Sometimes I make a pie. Sometimes I make a bread. Sometimes I make another dessert.

But when it comes to the main dishes, they, like, throw me a bone. They're like, we know you work hard. You don't have to do anything. And I'm like, thank you. And I just, I'm like, thank you so much for understanding. But my sister-in-law is doing Thanksgiving this year. So I think I might make something because I just think it's nice. And she's a sweet girl and I want to help her out.

But other than that, like, they're just like, you work too hard. Your whole life is cooking. You don't need to do it on the day that requires cooking. I'm cooking the entire Thanksgiving meal this year. We're doing it really small. It's just going to be me, Julia, and her mom. Okay, that's reasonable. But I'm still cooking giant trays of everything.

But I'm actually really grateful for it because what I'm going to do, Julia and her mom are going to be posted up watching the Macy's Day Parade because that's something. Julia was in the Macy's Day Parade. That's where she met Corbin effing Blue back in the day. That's so cute. That is so cute. She was like a dancer.

Yeah, she was like a little kid. She was like on the float or like she was on the floor. She was on the floor. She was on a float. Okay, what float? Dancing. Really important. What float?

I don't know. Jules, if you're listening, call me. What float were you on? But no, so they're going to be watching that. And so I am just going to be prepping mountains of vegetables. I'm going to chop all the mirepoix from scratch and I'm going to have football on my phone and they're going to be like, come here, look at this balloon. Oh my God, that balloon's crazy. Oh wow, Al Roker, he's so congenial. And then I'm going to go back to watching football and cooking. So I like that for myself. myself okay so what's your seed or whatever what's my what is yours what is my

second what is my second round draft pick I guess okay pie's the big one because like you said if you're good at pie if you're good at pie make a pie but if you're not don't if you're not done yeah no practice for three years no maybe a week or two, but okay, whatever. So that's big. I'm going to say, controversial opinion right here, you should not cook a single fresh vegetable ever on Thanksgiving. What? Cans, baby. Use the cans.

Wow, really? Let's talk about the American canon of Thanksgiving right here. Okay, sure. It is, in my mind, right, mac and cheese is a new thing. That's going to be on my of Thanksgiving right here. Okay, sure. It is, in my mind, right? Mac and cheese is a new thing. That's going to be on my table every single year. Okay. Mac and cheese is new for me.

But green bean casserole, green mushroom soup, green beans, French's onions, turkey, gravy, stuffing, a sweet potato, and a savory potato. Okay. And then cranberry sauce. Oh, no, dude, stupid, stupid. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stupid. Cranberry sauce is the number two overall pick. It should actually be number one. This happened to me in my fantasy football draft this year. Oh, no, dude. Stupid. Stupid. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stupid. Cranberry Sauce is the number two overall pick.

It should actually be number one. This happened to me in my fantasy football draft this year. No, no, no. I was like, I'm not drafting Derek Henry. I'm going to take Devontae Adams because I think he's going to be wide receiver one, Nicole. Because I believe in the McDaniels offense. I believe in the Josh McDaniels offense.

Yeah. Didn't Green Bay win yesterday? Yeah, they did good. And then didn't also the Vikings get like a really crazy touchdown? Yeah. Because there was a fumble and it was intercept. You listened to your husband when he talks about sports, huh? Yeah, it was fourth down.

No, it was first down. No, it wasn't. It was fourth down. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We need to take a quick break from the podcast and teach Nicole about football. Okay, so the Vikings had fourth down at the goal line and they failed. Yes, yes.

But it touched down. And then that became first down for the other team? For the other team. Who was who? Who was the other team? The Buffalo Bills. Probably the best team in the league, people say. But the Bills now, they're backed up.

So they're in tenuous position. Oh, because of the... So was it at the one yard line? Correct. Okay, wow. Now they're at the opposite one. And so if they get tackled in the end zone, that's a safety. That's two points and they have to give the ball away.

And we weren't, that's not what happened. No. People thought that was the worst case scenario. But they got, Nicole, they got Josh Allen. Old Butterfingers, am I right? No, here's the thing. He's 6'5", 250. They're like, all he's got to do, he's one of the best quarterback sneakers,

quarterback runners you've ever seen in your life. Fumbles the dang snap. I don't care if he has a UC runners you've ever seen in your life. Fumbles the dang snap. I don't care if he has a UCL injury in his elbow. Nicole, he fumbles the dang snap. I've been saying elbow from elbow. Anyways, cranberry sauce is the obvious number two. Cranberry sauce is number one. Pie is two.

Can we do that? Can we switch it? Oh, yeah, we can. Okay. So official number one, cranberry sauce. Yes, but I will say this. I have had a homemade cranberry sauce that is unlike any cranberry sauce I've ever had. How'd they do it?

It is my husband's mom's older sister's cranberry sauce. Husband's mom. I've met her. She's nice. No, you've never met her. What? No, you haven't met this one. Your husband's mom?

Oh, yeah. You've met her. Not the sister. No, I haven't met this. No, I don't know. Okay. I've met his brother. I've met David's brother. Yeah. He looks like him. No, he doesn't met this one. Your husband's mom? Oh, yeah. You've met her. Not the sister. I was at your wedding. No, I haven't met this. No, I don't know. Okay. I've met his brother. I've met David's brother.

Yeah. He looks like him. No, he doesn't. He's like tall. David and his brother look nothing. No, they don't. He has black hair. Shut up.

He has spiky hair. He's kind of got like boy band hair. Yeah, that was an accident. Michael? Jonathan. It's a Hebraic. It's like an Old Testament name.

It's Michael and David. Michael and David. Okay, go ahead. So, it's David's mom's Doctor, right? He's a Hebraic It's like an Old Testament name It's Michael and David Michael and David Okay, go ahead So, it's David's mom's Doctor, right? He's a doctor? David's Is this what you talk Is this how you talk to people on Thanksgiving?

God, I would absolutely run away Ugh, headache It is David's mom's oldest sister's cranberry sauce And she takes whole cranberries And then she muddles them With saffron lemon and juices from the turkey oh and and it's and it's like a little and a little bit of sour cherry juice i believe nobody knows how to make it she's the oh yes she's the only one who knows how to make it

and it is impeccable dang it is something that no one knows how to make other than Mahin Khanum. And she does such a good job. And that changed the cranberry world for me because I also love the canned stuff too. But this is just different. This is like it should be legal. It's so good. But I understand that that's a very unique experience and that most people should probably just use a canned stuff. What if – okay, because here's a crazy thing.

Why? We both instinctively – we forgot about it because we didn't – we don't like take any notes to this podcast. No, no, no. But we forgot about cranberry sauce at the first overall pick. That's why pie went. Yes, yes, yes. But going back, we were both like, oh, cranberry sauce is the obvious choice. Obviously.

And I've always been somebody who said like, yeah, get the canned stuff. Don't even get the whole cranberry. Get the jelly stuff. Get the jelly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like not good and also doesn't make sense to eat with turkey.

It's not meant to be good. It's meant to cut through all the richness. That's what I believe the purpose of cranberry sauce is. But it's not even like a sauce. It's a jello. It's jello, dude.

It's dessert. It is a sour. It is a cranberry gelé. But it needs to be there. Why are we eating dessert on the turkey? It needs to be there. No, it's not dessert.

Because people before us said it needs to be there. Why are we even deciding on the tray? It needs to be there. No, it's not. Because people before us said it needs to be there. Okay, that's a good point. And I understand we're trying to cut cultural, you know, traumas and stuff. And we're trying to, you know, create a new Thanksgiving dinner table philosophically. And also, in reality, I get that. But it tastes good. It cuts through the stuff. All that rich mac and cheese.

All that mashed tater. It cuts through. It's actually very nice and cheese all that mashed tater it cuts through it's actually very nice it's necessary why is it a jello why isn't it just a sauce has anybody asked why is the cranberry a jello it's called sauce it's a jello it's mint jelly a sauce no for lamb no it's jelly it's jelly but it's like a sauce it acts as a sauce sauce. But like cranberry, like you don't. I'm wondering if it's all that one pectin in cranberries, I believe to be a natural coagulant. Yes, of course. I bet you'll find.

Everybody knows that. I haven't looked at the ocean spray cranberry sauce recipe or ingredients list, but I feel like there's probably supplemental gelatin in there. I would like to think so as well. Right. But because I was thinking the other day, completely independently of this podcast, I would love to make a lovely like cranberry mustard and something really savory with the drippings of the turkey sauce to put on it oh great right uh-huh because like you got the gravy already that's just heavy savory aromatic meaty

umami i do want something to cut through that but i don't want to have to eat a bite of jello as a palate cleanser on my turkey so maybe it's not cranberry so maybe not cranberry. Cranberry is not the number one pick now. Is that what you're saying? I don't know. I feel like that's such old wisdom that it feels... Nicole, this is like choosing a tight end in the first round.

Why did you do this? Which I did. Travis Kelsey, going off. Why did you make this so hard on us to do it in seed form? What? You made this so much harder. I know, but Nicole,

the point of doing something difficult is to get greater results. It's You made this so much harder. I know, but Nicole, the point of doing something difficult is to get greater results. It's like Dan Campbell for the Lions. You know, that's the reason he pushes guys so hard

in the locker room, Nicole. You are like such a sports guy. I hate it. I am literally wearing a Philadelphia Eagles t-shirt and my college letterman jacket

because why? It's cold. That's when I peaked. Oh, and it's cold. How do you feel about people that like get Thanksgiving catered? You know, there's people out there that do that. Did you know that? I do know that. I don don't know i feel like part of the ritual of thanksgiving okay let's break down thanksgiving theory right sure go ahead the foods that a lot of people commonly eat are they good or bad um i will say that the mac and cheese is good the mashed potatoes

are good okay the side vegetables they're okay um i'm not a big we don't have casseroles at our thanksgiving we just don't i'm sorry we don't have casseroles At our Thanksgiving We just don't I'm sorry We don't have casseroles We don't have stuffing We have rice Okay I mean

We got rice I like turkey Yeah I like I enjoy turkey I was at the gym today And then my trainer was like I freaking hate turkey

Turkey's the worst meat It's disgusting What? Is your trainer a bridge troll? No, no, no. Do you see how giant my back is? Getting a giant bridge troll back, Nicole. He's very sweet.

But he's like, I hate turkey. Nobody makes turkey good. It's disgusting. And I'm like, turkey's... Rail riding hobo. I'm like, no, turkey's good. You just have it bad all the time. But nobody's out there cooking turkeys for people on a mass scale to pick up. But maybe there should be.

Even the best. There are people that cook turkeys on mass scale. Like, you can get a smoked turkey, but it costs so much money to get somebody else to cook. I couldn't. I think I paid, like, well over $100 for a smoked turkey from a fancy barbecue restaurant one year. Wow. I know, which is tough. Especially because turkeys are on sale for, like, 80 cents a pound by the time thanksgiving not anymore not this year actually

thanksgiving turkeys are more expensive than chickens son of a biscuit son of a biscuit inflation is too dang high nicole it's it's because i skimmed an article just skimmed an article. Just skimmed it. Didn't read it. Skimmed it. Every turkey is bad. Every turkey is bad. No, no, it's not. And when I say turkey, I mean a whole cooked turkey. What about a spatchcocked turkey? Even spatchcocked turkey. What about a...

I've gone back and forth on this. I've gone back and forth. If you, Nicole, if you have something to say, the floor is yours. What about pieces of turkey? What about piece? What about turkey that is just drumsticks? I would love, I would love, love, love to fully break down a turkey and cook that all properly. So do that.

Because here's the, I think I might. But I'm saying a whole, but most people don't. They do a whole roast bird. They could do either or. Even if it's spatchcock, it doesn't cook at the proper temp. Because breasts, like if you wet mine. Big boobies! Big ol' turkey titties! Big ol' boobies!

But if you, like, cook a breast to the proper internal temp, which FDA would say 160, I say 153. Carry over cooking! Pull it to 140, let it get up to 153, you're probably gonna be fine. FDA is, you know,

they want you to overcook your birds. Okay, disclaimer. Josh has no idea what he's saying right now, and you will get food poisoning. Yeah, don't. Just cook it to the proper temperature, please. Yeah, whatever. If he wants his turkey breast rosy, let him eat it rosy. Yeah, when has the government ever steered us wrong in anything? Anyways, Nicole.

What is this podcast about? What things you should or shouldn't cook on Thanksgiving. I mean, I'm arguing that you should not cook a whole turkey. We've done. Okay, don't. We've done, Nicole, busting turkey myths. And we've cooked really great turkeys. My chapstick fell.

Nicole, when we did busting turkey myths, we found out the best way to cook a turkey, right? You dry brine it. Uh-huh. Or do we wet brine it? I don't remember. Dude, me neither. It's been so long and we've done so much content. It's so hard to remember. I'm going to say wet brine. I'm going to say dry brine it uh-huh yeah or do we wet brine it i don't remember it's been so long and we've done so much content it's so much i'm gonna say wet brine i'm gonna say wet brine wet brine turkey and then you baste the hell out of it with butter and you get the thigh

to an internal temp of like you know 145 150 or something let it carry over however thighs and legs especially turkey are much better slow cooked. Why are you? I'm stretching. Oh, I thought you were showing off your own turkey legs. You're like, if I'm a turkey, here's leg, here's thigh. Why would my legs be where my arms are? Thighs, I don't know, because turkeys, they have, like, these are, yeah, these are wings, I guess. I was just stretching.

I don't know. Thighs and legs are best when internal temp reaches like 190 to 200 they're better yet yeah yeah you're right you're when they're smoked when they're slow cooked yeah but not everybody has the capacity to do that so should they not partake in the tradition just because it's going to turn out bad but what if somebody could do that for him what if buckminster fuller's right it's expensive i know it's expensive at this point i'm sorry it's like what everyone can afford a hundred dollars it is one time a year you know you going to have a bad turkey? Your family is going to be pissed off.

You invest in your family's happiness. Do you mean to tell me that you are allowing capitalism to ruin Thanksgiving or to better Thanksgiving? What are you saying? No, I'm saying that capitalism is necessary. We live in a society. We don't need to talk about capitalism on the pod. No, but is there a case for not cooking your own turkey? Well, my dad hates turkey, so we never have turkey at our Thanksgiving.

Well, that's the other case. Is there a case for us not cooking a turkey at all? Yeah, we just do chicken a lot of the time. Yeah? It's a better bird. Better bird, easier bird, faster bird. I am with you that I like turkey. I love it.

I love the idea of biting into a drumstick or like fighting over the wishbone like i like that stuff there's something again it's traditional and it makes you feel i don't know like makes you feel good at least it makes me feel good like that norman rockwell painting do you know the one of course i know the one you're talking about freedom from wants love that photo i wish i had that is the american dream right there that photo that old cute lady. Just a wife that doesn't know how to work. Oh, you're talking about the diner one.

No, I'm not. Wait, what are you talking about? I'm talking about the old white lady that's holding the turkey and putting it down. I thought you were talking about the diner one. No, her name is probably Agnes and she's happy. And her husband's name is probably, I don't know. Yeah, she doesn't have to work. She doesn't have to work.

She's all hopped up on Valium and diet pills. Yeah, sounds like fun. Valium puts you to sleep. Diet pills get you up in the morning in a vacuum. Yeah. And she's just making turkeys. And we have freedom from want because we beat the Nazis. Is that what it's about?

Yeah, that's actually, I believe. I really enjoy that. It's a World War II propaganda poster. It's great. I like that poster. Good propaganda. Thank you. A turkey on every table, sure.

What do you think about people that make mashed potatoes from the box for Thanksgiving? Oh, that was going to be... Wait, whose draft pick is it? Mine. Yeah, I went cranberry but then we retrofit cranberry back at number one and pies are now number two. Yeah. So now it's back to you on the snake draft for three.

Snake draft. Mashed potatoes. Wait, no, it's my pick. Why? It's a snake draft. It's my pick. Okay, go ahead. M mashed potatoes. Wait, no, it's my pick. Why? It's a snake draft. It's my pick. Okay, go ahead. Mashed potatoes. I've had such bad, mealy, gross mashed potatoes.

I've made bad, mealy, gross mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes are difficult, especially you read some recipe that's like make pomme puree, throw it in the food processor, and then you do it and it's glue. Nicole, it's caulk. Caulk. Like C-A-A. Nicole, it's caulk. Caulk. Like C-A. No, it's caulk. It's pronounced caulk. It's pronounced caulk.

Caulk. Right? Like a caulking. C-A-U-L-K is caulk. Yeah. Caulking gun. You like, you pull it, and then you caulk your bathroom. You get the paste that's inside the caulk gun all over the bathroom.

The point is, I've had mashed potatoes that are really gluey and bad. Yeah. You know when they're never gluey or bad? From a box. You're rehydrated with butter and milk. Yeah, they're good. It's good? It's good.

Would you abide by going to someone's home, and they do not, Nicole, they do not serve you fresh mashed potatoes. They serve you boxed mashed potatoes. Are you going to be mad? I don't think. No. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I would. Right? Something feels wrong. I would. It's classist. It's ableist. It's wrong. It's wrong.

We feel that way. It's wrong. It's wrong and it's not fair. No, it's not. It's not fair to anyone, but we need to be honest with the way that we feel. Okay, fine. Fine. We need to discover where that comes from. No, let me tell you. If you are able to season and cook down the flex properly, sure, it's acceptable. But I'm not going to have a cow and be like, you suck at cooking. I'm not going to do that.

I might go in the car and just be like, those mashed potatoes were instant, weren't they? And then, yeah, they were. Like, maybe that'll happen. Okay, but how do you feel about lying to people all the time so i feel pretty good i feel pretty good about it i do i do it often yeah same same same but like not for like stupid things like mash like if someone says are these mashed potatoes instant or are they made from actual potatoes i I'll say, they're made. I'll be like, it's my secret recipe. Like I'll, yeah, I'll obscure the information.

I'll, you know, I'll just go around. I won't directly lie. I'll do the things that politicians do during debates where they ask them a question and they just answer an entirely different question. Yeah. They make, are these potatoes homemade? And I'll be like, that's the problem with America today

is that crime in our streets is too high and our kids don't have afterschool programs. Can you ask me? It'd be like so boxed. Can you ask me? Nicole, are these mashed potatoes instant or homemade? I put so much milk and butter in them. It's delicious.

Eat it. Yeah. What do you think? Oh, I think that when we look at a high density urban housing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? Whenever I say that, does that mean boxed or fresh or do you not?

I would be I would completely forget that I asked you the question. Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's how you lie. The point of propaganda is not to get people to believe falsehoods. It's to scramble people's brains so much that they don't care about what's true and false. Yeah.

It's like the question that you ask. The question that you ask is so unimportant. But i know you want to know how much stuff i put in there right yeah that's what you care about so therefore what else i think the move is to take the box mashed potatoes and then like you add some scallions to them you add a little bit of cream cheese yeah you do a fresh cracked pepper like things that can sort of gussy them up that's an instant money saver right there. What about stuffing? Here's another thing.

The box. I like box stuffing. Stove top stuffing. They did it. Can I tell you though what I don't like? The Korean of the world's best stuffing.

Can I tell you what I don't like? Whenever people put their own vegetables in there and then the vegetables are undercooked. They're almost undercooked. People don't know how to cook their vegetables.

That's the worst. And then they throw an apple in there and you're like, what the hell is this? You're talking about Larry. You're talking about my cousin Larry. Check it out. Apples, undercooked vegetables, Nicole, and, and, and raw effing cranberries.

You ever had a raw cranberry taste like poison? You ever had a gallon of sugar? Wait, wait, wait. Not dried cranberries? No, not dried. Raw, whole, no sugar, right in the stuffing. Just a little bite of just poison right to your dome. My sternum hurts.

Stovetop. It's disgusting. They did it. The industrialization process. Cousin what? Larry. Cousin freaking Larry. He's garbage.

No, he's a nice guy. No, he's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. Yeah, yeah. I think he works in M&A. I don't know what that means. Mergers and Acquisitions. Shout out, Larry. Oh, M&A? M. Yeah, yeah. I think he works in M&A. I don't know what that means. Mergers and Acquisitions. Oh, M&A?

M&A, yeah. M and A or M&A? I think you just say like M&A. Do you remember there was one time where we crashed a party? No, we didn't. Yeah, it was at a bar. No vacancy in Hollywood. It was like a fancy one.

Oh, yeah. And there was like some financial firm there that somebody said the name of it and I Googled it and I found out what they did. And I looked up a couple departments. And then people would just be like, hey, what do you work in? I'm like, oh, I'm an M&A. I work under John. And they're like, I didn't think there was a John M&A.

I'm like, he's new. He came from RNC, you know, a big firm, Ernst & Young, you know, NASDAQ. You know what it is. And then I just infiltrated their group. Did you get free drinks at the bar? I remember they had free drinks at the bar. Oh, yeah, a ton. Good for you.

I think I gave some to you. Yeah, probably. You always do that. Thank you so much for doing that. And then somebody recognized me from YouTube. Oh, no. And I was just like. I do both.

Hello, I do both. I clean your bathroom. Thanks for always doing that for me, by the the way you're just so tall and brooding and I'm just like little and I'm like no one pays attention to me at the bar and then they just go to the next person very insistent at bars which bars during holiday time really fun

really fun bring your own alcohol to the bar yeah correct bring your own alcohol that's how I got i mean to thanksgiving bring your own alcohol that's how i got banned for life from a korean karaoke bar no no i was saying bring you bring it definitely bring alcohol to thanksgiving not even nice alcohol just like a flask bring bring something that'll you know yeah or just you know bring bring like a six pack or yeah you know just bring that's a good gift to gift to give that's the gift that keeps on giving on thanksgiving

that's all i do my personal record for drinks in a, I'm not going to say how many because I don't want to influence anyone to beat it. Can you whisper to me how much it is? This is a standard drink, so that means. Oh, cocktails. No, well, like 40% at 1.5. Well, it was beers. It was mostly beers. Yeah, no, Nicole, come back.

Nicole, come back, come back. I have more details. Come back. 23 Miller Highlives. One day. One day, Nicole. One day. It was with Andrea's dad.

It was with Big Al. One, you're drinking with a guy named Big Al starting at 8 a.m. on Thanksgiving. You can rack those numbers up by the end. How are you alive right now? I don't know. We ended up seeing Moana, too, and then I went to the bathroom. At the movie theater? by the end. How are you alive right now? I don't know. We ended up seeing Moana, too. And then I went to the bathroom. At the movie theater?

At the theater. Went to the bathroom. Could not find the theater coming back out. So I watched like 10 minutes of Arrival, like 15 minutes of a great coming of age film starring Woody Harrelson. And what's the girl that everyone likes? She's a... What's the girl that everyone likes? Marvel.

Chloe Grace Moretz. No, but it's in the same... Haley Steinfeld. Haley Steinfeld. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Edge of 17? Yeah, sure. Great movie.

Anyways, point is Thanksgiving. I love it. Nicole, it's the time of year to be thankful. I love Thanksgiving. But don't bring a pie from home. Don't bring your crappy cranberry sauce. Don't make mashed potatoes if you don't know how. And get the stuff in from a box. Yeah. Don't cook your crappy cranberry sauce. Don't make mashed potatoes if you don't know how.

And get the stuff in from a box. Yeah. Don't cook any fresh vegetables. Use everything from canned. I don't agree with that. Maybe don't cook a turkey. Don't cook a turkey. Just buy a rotisserie chicken. Go to the Costco.

Literally. You can spend $20 to get four chickens. Literally. No, do whatever the heck you want for Thanksgiving. We got a fair amount of advice out there on the YouTube. If you want to check out our turkey. As much crap as I talk about turkey, that was the best turkey that I've ever had. As much crap as we talk about pie, the actual pumpkin pie that we make is good as well.

I think the point is if you're good at cooking stuff. Cook it. Cook it. If you're bad at cooking stuff, buy it from the store and lie to people's faces. Yep. Sounds pretty good. Isn't that what the holidays are all about? Totally.

All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the world. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles! Oh, hey, we got a voicemail. Actually, we have like 300 or something. Thanks for sending the voicemail. Thank you.

I love your voices. They're beautiful. Each and every one of them. Some of you are pitchy. Hey, guys. This is Mark. I'm a big fan of the pod. My opinion is that the best way to cook a Thanksgiving turkey is to rotisserie it.

That's it. Love you guys. Thanks. Bye. Love you too, Mark. Love you too, Mark. I'm not afraid to say it. Rotisserie turkey. I don't reckon I've ever had that.

I don't think most ovens are retrofitted for that. No, you can probably. I feel like these newfangled crazy ovens that you'll see the commercials for, like you'll have Emeril out there who's just, he's just sold his soul to QVC, which may we all be so lucky one day. I would love to. Are you kidding me?

That's the goal. I feel like you'll get these new crazy ovens that are like, they got the rotisserie built in. You can turn your oven into a freezer. It's like the turn on blizzard setting and all this stuff. But most ovens can't. Rotisserie, if you do it over like an open fire, if you're one of those like cool paleo grilling people. That's awesome.

That's a fun time. But I've never had a rotisserie turkey. I don't see why it wouldn't work there. I'm just like, well, we have also taught people how to make a rotisserie. Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah. That was for a chicken.

And we basically crumbled up a bunch of foil to get it so the chicken just rests over it. Yeah, it was so expensive to do it like that. A lot of foil. But a turkey can, I mean, they can get up to 20 pounds. You would have to like tie it to the stick. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah. I'm trying to think why.

Okay, so rotisserie works, right? By constantly turning the bird. It's a good idea. And having even slow heat. The fat renders out. You get even browning everywhere because it's constantly turning. Sounds delicious. Does turkey have as much

intramuscular I'm sure you can baste it sorry subdermal fat I'm sure you can also baste it while it's happening opening the oven or the rotisserie what's the worst part

of every rotisserie chicken though I don't know it's the breast no it's not what? you like rotisserie chicken breast? I love rotisserie chicken period I do too but like I feel like the breast is always love rotisserie chicken, period. I do, too.

But I feel like the breast is always going to be overcooked. Are you kidding me? It's like five. You're slow cooking it like crazy. So what? It's $5. Eat it. No, but this is Thanksgiving.

He's so picky. This isn't a $5 thing. You asked me about the chicken. You didn't ask me about the turkey. I eat more rotisserie chicken than anyone. Yes, you do. I go to Zankou Chicken and go, I get three family meals. I eat enough for three Armenian Lebanese families.

Yes, that's true. Thank you're welcome a couple days you're welcome the point is uh zanku is uh they're lebanese armenian right i guess uh they make great great yeah they make yummy food you know the the thighs and the legs and the wings are a little crispy are so good that it makes me forget about the overcooked breast and then i i dip the breast in the hummus and the mutabal, put some pickles on it, the garlic sauce, whatever. But turkey is like

80% breast. Okay. I don't know. I'd like to rotisserie turkey. I ain't never done it. I'd like to try it. Deep frying turkey is

a little bit overrated. Yeah. It's fine. I don't like it very much. Oh, you don't have to eat it. No one's forcing it

down your throat, Nicole. If you don't want to be a part of this family, you can get the hell out. Sorry. Oh, that's want to be a part of this family, you can get the hell out! Sorry. That's my Thanksgiving energy. Have people said that to you?

My mom threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take karate. Shut up. Well, you should have. Well, karate's good for you. Man, she's having a manic episode. You should have taken karate. If it wasn't karate, it was Scientology. It was a lot. At eight? Oh, yeah. I'm big into Scientology. At eight?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next. Voicemail, please, Maggie. Hi. My name's Brian, and I was hoping you could settle a debate between my wife and I. Yeah, we love wives. Every Thanksgiving, my family makes what she calls an abomination called Heavenly Hatch. I'm going to love it.

Which is cottage cheese, whipped cream, canned pineapple. Hell, yes. cherries, lime jello, and mini marshmallows all mixed together. And my dad's family's had it for generations. So is it an abomination or not? Hell no. No. This is history. If there was mayonnaise in there, yes. You know how they're like in these like ambrosia-y salads

like these pretzel salads or whatever. They put like a quarter cup of mayo for some odd reason. I'm glad that your family There's no odd reason. It's because it's salty

and tangy and delicious. I'm glad that your family does not do that. I think this sounds good. And side note, did you know that blitzing cottage cheese is really in vogue right now yeah

so um if you wanted to you know adapt this recipe for a more modern uh mouthfeel just blend up the cottage cheese so it's nice and soft and then that way you don't have that like chunky weird texture that people might think is disgusting yeah because the cottage cheese is what turns this like lime jello whipped cream thing into looking like vomit. Yeah, yeah, for sure. That said, I love this stuff.

I would call this whole family of things ambrosia salads. It is an ambrosia salad. It's an ambrosia salad, right? Of course. Which also, talking to Mindy,

our associate producer over at the Mythical Kitchen, she grew up thinking that ambrosia salad was a Filipino thing. Oh, really? Yeah, because, or maybe,

I don't know. But anyways, because it's really popular in the Philippines because a lot of post-World War II stuff. They had a lot of American prepackaged food products over there. Makes sense. Douglas MacArthur, Pacific Theater. You know the whole history. And so there's a lot of like Jell-O and stuff.

Even if you think about like a Holo Holo, right? And yeah, in layman's terms, I guess. They have a bunch of different jellies, different ices, different things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the sort of very American, a little grosser, creamier version of just that, you know, big old mixed textures and flavors and levels of sweetness. And I personally love it. Yeah. I'm in.

More ambrosia salads. But, like, make a martisanal. Do a new – I want a new generation of ambrosia salads. You know? Okay, do it. Out with the old, in with the new. But also still with the old. God, I should do that.

Do it. All right, so. I always get a lot of hate for this one. And I love listening to y'all's episode and I know Josh is going to love this. I hope I do. Turkey and peanut butter on a tortilla wrap makes the absolute best low-carb, high-protein snack you can do for a pre-gym workout. And I stand by that. Take it away, Josh.

I have nothing to say about this. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I hate this and what you're doing. I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to have expectations to go into something thinking that somebody's going to like something. It's like when everyone tells me I'd love to show Archer. And I'm like, I gave it a chance. It's just not for me.

And they're like, no, you really love it because I love it and I know you. And I go, a chance it's just not for me and they're like no you should you really love it because I love it and I know you and I go no it's just it's the same joke to me over and over you're not an Archer guy?

no no it's a good show it's a fine show H. John Benjamin great voice you know they do good work point is

one for a pre-gym snack I always opt for high carb I want to get that insulin spike while I'm working out I think fat inhibits that so I'd never do fat before a workout two if you want fat with your turkey,

mayonnaise, man. Just add a little bit of mayo in there. That's already a great turkey ingredient. But the peanut butter is like protein packed. Hardly any. Peanut butter has hardly any protein compared to the amount of fat. Are you for real? Well, if you're a gym person, he seems like a gym person. Maggie, did you know that?

Peanut butter has a very, very high fat to protein ratio. It's delightful. I put peanut butter in my smoothie every morning, but that's a post-workout thing. That's me trying to get satiated. And I think that peanut butter and turkey, we've had meat and peanut butter on the show. When meat is hot with peanut butter, like a Goober Burger, I think that's a good time. The peanut butter melts into the meat.

But there's other stuff on a Goober Burger. And there's other stuff, yeah. Just turkey and peanut butter. Have you tried jelly instead of turkey, man? Have you tried jelly instead of peanut butter, man? Oh, now a turkey. Turkey, jelly, and cream cheese? Yeah.

Now we're talking. I feel bad. Was that too harsh? No, I think you were fine. It was a little bit out there. It was out there. It was a lot out there. It was out there.

Let's go to some written opinions. Josh, you want to take away the first one? Take it away. Oh, gosh, Nicole. I would love to. First up, we got at Rosenrot89. Pancakes are better topped with gravy and savory meats, roast chicken, turkey, or sausage, than fruit and syrup.

Mm-hmm. Trevor makes something called dirty cakes, and this is an example of a dirty cake. Just a pancake topped with savory things? Pancake. Well, he puts it inside of, like he takes leftovers and he puts it in the pancake batter. Hell yeah. And then he like puts like sauce on top, and it's a smart way to do it. A pat of butter and some like gravy.

I don't know if I enjoy savory pancakes. Like if we're talking American style buttermilk fluffy flapjacks. I think I would rather have either one, a crepe. I love savory crepes. Two, any sort of flatbread that exists or just any sort of bread. I don't think that pancakes are a better substitution for bread. Whereas you can't put syrup on bread. You certainly can.

You can put syrup on bread. It's good. There's something about the fluffy tenderness of a pancake that is nice with syrup. Pancake. It's too sweet for me. I just would do this. This sounds delicious.

I think waffles now. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. You never had no Pennsylvania Dutch chicken and waffles. I don't need to have a Pennsylvania Dutch. Oh, yeah, you, no. No, no, no. You never had no Pennsylvania Dutch chicken and waffles. I don't need to have a Pennsylvania Dutch. Oh, yeah, you got that. We're doing straight Minnesota because I can't do a Pennsylvania Dutch accent. I don't know where Pennsylvania is.

What? I don't know where it is on the map. You couldn't locate Pennsylvania on a map. No way. It's like huge. It's like a giant rectangle next to New York and New Jersey. No, see, why did you tell me that? Because Maggie's in a public map and it was my job to find out where it is.

Oh, God. Oh, that's what Pennsylvania looks like? That doesn't look familiar to you? I thought this whole time it was like, like next to Tennessee or something. Well, like southern Pennsylvania, like you get like the Appalachian side. It's a big state. It's a big state. It kind of looks like a

quilt. Uh, yeah, it's a square. Quilts are made of squares. Okay, next opinion. Alright. A Sleepy Crab says I only, oh, quilt uh yeah it's a square quilt tomato squares okay next opinion all right a sleepy crab says i only oh only eating the cookie part of twix bite the caramel of like popeye with a can of spinach spit that bippy out what's a bippy if you have to ask you can't afford it enjoy the sweet sweet cookie have you ever seen people eat kit kats in like the way to eat a Kit Kat? You gnaw the chocolate off? You like gnaw the chocolate off.

Yeah. It's the Kourtney Kardashian way. And I also do it that way. But I did that before I knew Kourtney did it. And it's like this. Except I don't spit it out like Popeye. I got great news for a sleepy crab here. What's that?

I feel like they just want to be eating cookies. What are the cookies, though, in a Twix? A shortbread? No, it's not quite a shortbread. It's kind of like a crispy. Yeah, what kind of cookie would you find? How would we say this, man? It's like a crispy sugar cookie if you really broke it down.

That's the thing. I can't think of one. There's no edge or skin to it. I can't think of one cookie on the market that is comparable to the middle of a Twix. Yeah, and I also think that they're not just in it for the cookie, Nicole. I can't think of one cookie on the market that is comparable to the middle of a Twix. Yeah. And I also think that they're not just in it for the cookie, Nicole. I think they're in it for the action.

They like the ritual. Yeah, it's the ritual. I just wish that, like, if you could find somebody who just wants caramel and then spit the caramel into their mouth, then you'd have, like, a perfect, you know, symbiotic relationship. Yeah. Yeah, there's that one movie where, like like Rachel Weisz, like, never mind. What? I don't know. All right,

at JimBobTheMonkey, when my mom asks what type of, quote, salad we want for a holiday dinner, she's specifically referring to Jell-O with something mixed in, fruit, shredded carrots, sometimes cottage cheese.

Oh, another cottage cheese Jell-O salad. Cottage cheese Jell-O salad. Ambrosia opinion. This, you can thank the Jell-O marketing machine post-World War II. Honk, honk. Marketing all the housewives, baby.

It's a machine. They're going out there. Yeah, this is a huge holdover from the boomers of yesteryear, and I hope it doesn't die out with them. You know? I don't care if it dies. Millennials killed everything good. We killed Red Lobster, Nicole. lobster nicole we killed we go to red lobster chili are we millennials killed i feel like we're too old to be millennials we're like

kind of younger mid-millennials there's like 38 year old millennials no way i think like 30 37 38 none of these things actually exist right like none of the generational things there's no i'm sure one organization has been like this is the official cutoff date but it's whatever we're millennials i love gen xers i love gen xers um like uh winona ryder's a gen xer i feel like a gen xer you feel like a gen xer yeah no we're primal dude you grew up on youtube you grew up going to rotten.com you're a millennial am i that's like growing up frown lines yeah we're old like time moves in a linear fashion

unless you believe in the movie Arrival would you ever get Botox? no not at all I want to age terribly why? I'm never going to do I'm never going to take steroids

never going to do Botox never going to get TRT never going to get Brazilian butt lift I think we'd have so much fun if we went and got Botox I'm never going to put

lotion on my face. I don't wear sunscreen. That's not true. You have Luberderm next to your bed. That's for my CrossFit hands. Sure, that's what you tell people. Hey, now. All right, one more opinion?

One of us. Okay. Conduvito says, Every food where I have to remove something inedible, like a shell or eat around a bone, is not worth the hassle. The difference in flavor is needed enough to justify the extra effort. I'm not employed at this restaurant.

Stop making me do grunt work. You privileged aristocratic Marianne Twinnette asked, let them eat cake. Not understanding that food is like there are animals that exist. There are plants that exist. If there is not a shell on your walnut, that is an underpaid person in a factory owned by Veruca Salt's dad who is paid to shell that walnut. How much are you willing to pay for

convenience and are you willing to learn the uncomfortable truth of the labor that goes into your food? You can de-shell the crab that you are already paying for an Alaskan fisherman to risk their life for. You're right. I agree with you.

Also, there's nothing like naan on a bone. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love eating meat off the bone. I am Bonesucker5000 over here. Are you kidding me? Yeah, they call me the... The 4000? They call me the...

What do they call it? Bone... Sucker? Bonesucker. You want to be Bonesucker too? Yeah, I don't know. You want to be part of the Bonesucker clan? Bones Brigade. They call me Bones Brigade. That's want to be part of the Bone Sucker clan? Bones Brigade.

They call me Bones Brigade. That's what I was looking for. Bones Brigade? Bones Brigade, yeah. That's a horrible name. I believe Stacey Powell, Tony Hawk is part of the Bones Brigade and who's young. I don't like that name at all. Bone Sucker 5000 is much better.

It sounds like an automated sucking device that would be sold at Target. That's me. I'm so glad my parents don't listen to this podcast. Oh, God. I hope Larry doesn't listen. I talk a lot of crap on the stuff.

Cousin Larry. I got kicked out of my family's Thanksgiving for talking crap over there. Cousin Larry with his raw cranberries. And on that note,

thank you for listening to a hot dog is a sandwich. Every time I see him, he still goes, so he's still blogging. Does he have an accent? Nah, South African.

If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or, and handy-dandy with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. Or, if you want to leave us a voicemail, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833-DOGPOT1. That's 833-BONE-SUCKER-5000 for all your bone-sucking needs. And for Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube

where we launch new videos every week. See you all next time if the podcast doesn't get canceled after this.