A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Trying All The Rollie Tube Foods at 7-Eleven

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

Today, Josh and Nicole taste every 7-Eleven roller grill item they could get their hands on. Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the Power Move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate launch. The real Power Move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence, and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx. The new power move. Today we deep dive into a rare world cuisine that is hotly contested, wildly debated, and forever controversial.

Aren't we just eating foods off the 7-Eleven roller machine? You're gosh dang right we are. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich.

What? Welcome to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we take pauses in between words that only happen during podcasting for some reason. Who are you emulating? Because I don't listen to NPR very much. I read NPR. I don't listen to NPR. I am emulating perhaps the greatest podcaster of all time. Ira Glass.

Before podcasting, it was even called podcast. Can I tell you something that somebody told me at South by Southwest? I can't stop talking about it. No problem. Yesterday. Yeah, of course. Thank you. And also, what?

Give me a hint. I don't, I don't, that's weird. You don't, oh, actually, there's a hint of, like, hickory sweet smoke off of your fingers. That kind of is. It's crazy. I don't know, man. I don't know how I was around someone's going to work. You got to start using anti-bacterial soap.

Okay, continue. I swear I wash myself. Somebody said, um, podcasting is the new vlogging. And one, you can, it's not, nothing is the new. It's just that's something people say. But then I was like, if you go back and try and diagnose the etymology of all those words, you end up in like such weird territory. Why weird territory?

Well, not even weird territory. It's just like it's crazy to think that you can say something like podcasting is a new vlogging. And then if you look at like where vlog comes from, you have to go back to cap. Video blog. And where does blog come from? Oh, that's a great question. I don't know. Podcasting?

No. Oh, I don't know. Podcast comes from the iPod. Really? And a broadcast on the iPod. A radio broadcast was something that, like, you have to go out. A log, it is a web log, a blog, a blog. But that would have been called a blog, not a blog.

No, somehow they took the end of the term web and added that. Oh, yeah, there is a big. And log, I believe, literally comes from captain's log on a ship. On a ship, it's a lot. I love etymology. It's crazy, man. Edomology is so important. Podcasting is a new vlogging, a vlogging is a new short form.

And everything is experiential. They got Jake Shane on the Oscar. and the Queensland, they're all there, and everyone's there. And today... What are we doing? We're ripping a bunch of tube-shaped foods in 7-Eleven, man. Okay, I think it's good to preface this. Josh, again, just came back from South by Southwest.

I went to a wedding last night, and we're both hung over, question mark? The perfect time to eat 7-Eleven roller foods. We should have eaten this, like, maybe like eight hours ago, whenever we were deep in the throats of our alcohol binge. No, you know what? You know what I had eight hours ago? What? To soak everything up? It was at Julia's request.

Do you know Maria's Italian food? No. You've never had Marias? Where is it? Is it in the valley? It's a mini chain in L.A. I know Luis is Chattoria. No, it's called, man.

You'll know the branding of Marias. Julia just was craving their chopped salad. That's like 85% deli meats. Oh, a chopped salad as a drunk craving? Pretty healthy. Yeah, but then we got like. What are unique woman? It's like the chicken marsala with the Penei and it's just 80% butter.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have soaked it up with that, and so now this is a bonus run for me. Okay, cool. So we're going to literally try everything that was available to us from the 7-Eleven roller menu. Now, Josh, I know that you're some sort of like pseudo-food historian, I guess.

Yes, yes, yes. Can you tell the people a little bit about the history of 7-Eleven? Because I know very little. And I'm just here to eat, man. 7-Eleven. It started in 1927 as an ice company, where they were actually delivering people iced before freezers were made. Like in the home?

Yeah, yeah. It was just an ice box. Yeah, yeah. But the Roller Grill, which is really interesting, it started spreading through convenience stores in the 1970s. Like, you see the Roller Grill represented in like the Simpsons and the Quickey Mart and stuff, right? Right. We're taking the hot dogs off of that.

So that became the big thing. What about the microwave? When was the microwave introduced? Around the 60s, 70s? Microwaves didn't get big in homes until the 1980s, but it was invented like just after World War II. Okay. But then they were marketing it as like, almost like in a luxury and

industrial cooking item for like hotels and cruise ships and stuff like that. Cool. But there was something like even in the 70s, only like 3% of households had microwaves, I think. No, everyone has it. They just kept getting cheaper and cheaper. But anyway, 7-Eleven is now the largest chain of convenience stores. We didn't grow up with like bodegas and stuff, right? No, not on the West Coast, no.

It'd be really cool if we did. I know. But like we're kind of split between 7-Elevens, which don't have the family, the homey feel, and then donut shops for us in Los Angeles. And would you consider CVS to be a convenience? store? No, CVS is a pharmacy. So I grew up more so, like, in the west side of L.A., with pharmacies more so than,

like, convenience stores. What I would frequent more. Yeah, yeah. Redily. Well, we had, like, like, for me it was, like, liquor stores, too. Yeah, we had liquor stores. That would maybe sell a Campbell soup or two. You get, like, a 7-11, you go in, you buy, like, fart bombs, you throw them with people.

You ever do that as a kid? I did that with, um, I did that with ice cream, like, ice cream trucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fart bombs and cap guns. So we kind of split our differences between. them. But lately, 7-Eleven, they were bought by a Japanese company, and everyone knows about the Japanese foods in 7-Eleven. Frankly, we kind of wanted to do an episode. To be fair, I literally went to like 4 7-Elevens in the Burbank area. The only thing I could get was the egg sando, and I'm like,

I can't do a whole podcast about the egg sando unless I could, because when I went to Japan, what we have to do is you have to go to Japan and you need to eat all the egg sandos from Lawson, 7-Eleven, and the other place that I can't remember. And then you have to come back and we have to talk about it and then eat the 7-Eleven sandwich from here. I'm totally down. So what happened was 7-Eleven was bought by a Japanese company, and then now they are trying to make all of their American 7-Eleven stores kind of as good as the Japanese 7-Elevens are, which are really known for their food.

But let me tell you, it's going to be hard to transition the American brain into associating the 7-Elevens that we know now into the 7-Elevens of Japan. Yeah. It's really, really tough. Especially because a lot of them are franchised. So that's how 7-Eleven grew to be as big as it was in American. they would franchise the stores and then

you know, local, a lot of them are family owned. Families would buy them. God bless you. God. Logan's going to have to edit your loud in full sneaker.

I'm in such rough shape. Am I? I'm okay. So I did. I'm a little hungover, but I feel like I'm better when I'm a little hungover. It all started really auspiciously

on Friday morning. I did an interview with a guy named Trey Elling. Shout to Trey Elling at ESPN Radio. Hey, Trey. I know you're listening. And he had a bottle of malort. What is with people drinking malort?

Plastic bottle of maloort. Oh, that's even worse. That's how you know he means business. That's even worse. A little bit of P-FAS in there, whatever. I was giving some forever chemicals in my malort. Oh, my gosh. And so, yeah, at 10.30 on like an empty stomach,

I'd just done like a big gym workout. And then that shot of Mallort, I'd like to think set me into a three-day tailspin where now I'm just fighting to recover. And my last words to my wife before I left the house where, hey, you want to have, like, chicken and vegetables and water all day to day. And now, great transition. They can't figure out a way to get all the good Japanese foods into the 7-Eleven's in America yet.

So we are instead tasting all of their tube food that dates back to 50 years of innovation of their only heating source being a roller drill. So they need to figure out how to take every other food like chicken and hamburger and taco and turn it into a tube that rolls. I'm really excited. I have never delved into the 7-Eleven roller foods before. I think it's because I was kind of like, to be fair, I think it's a little bit classist. Wow. To be fair. You know what?

I'm recognizing my privilege or whatever. That's beautiful. And I always, I was always told that like that food is bad, even though there's no morality attached to food, right? What? Yeah, there's no morale. But I think you can, there's two sides here. I think if you are a low-income person on the go, you should also have access to foods that weren't forced into a tooth by industry. No, I agree.

I agree. But whenever we're... This is called intersectionality. Oh, yes. I'm aware. I'm aware of intersectionality. But like my parents, you know, they were immigrants and they come to America and they're like, we don't need to eat this food.

There's food at home. You know what I mean? Like, you don't need to go to 7-Eleven to eat. I think they were right. Yes. So I'm really... But I was always also scared of the roller grill because in my mind I'm like, I don't know how this happened if it's like an urban legend or something, but something about they don't

wash the roller grill or like it's... Yeah, there is a lot of... like lore or history about like the grill is disgusting. They never change it out. The food is rolling there for hours. Yeah, never get a hot dog after 4 p.m. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You were raised like that too. It's like, don't get after 4 because they don't restock. And like they never wash the grill because there's a weird patina on it. I feel like cartoons would like have a lot of like there would be like one gross hot dog left on the roller grill in a cartoon. I think that's what we have. That's what we have. Because to be fair, these were picked up at like 8.30 in the morning. So there's no.

We got a most. Almost all of them. Okay, hell yeah. And we do have buns, but I say let's be little keto. Let's be a little keto today. Let's be keto baddies. So they have gone through. I used to, when I was dirty bulking in high school, I was training so much.

I was like 200. Do you smell that? That's incredible. I was training so much in high school that I would just eat whatever as long as I could get calories. Back then I could do that. And my bench was just kept going up and I kept getting better to sports. And so I had like, you know, a limit. limited amount of money from, you know, my stupid little high school job to spend at lunch.

And, God, I mean, they used to have, like, it'd be like three for $3 at 7-Eleven. That's pretty good. And so I could go to, like, a cheeseburger, big bite, two tequitos. And they had a chicken sandwich on the roller drill that was just a giant elongated nugget. I used to get three of those. And I would put the tequitos under the free chili and cheese fountains. There's a free. It's free?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If I knew that, I would have gotten it. Incredible, the things you learn. The things you learn. Josh, we could have had a side of plasticine cheese and old-ass chili to pair with you? The chili is incredible because they'll tell you what. The cheese comes out of a nozzle, which you can imagine cheese sauce.

Chili famously, though, not smooth. Does it also come out of a nozzle? Yes. No, it doesn't do that. It goes, like literally. Next time you go to a 7-Eleven, The cheese, you know, makes a... Comes out to smear.

And then the chili is just, like, force-vomited. Lumpy space princess of food? Truly. And it's so funny to me. And, yeah, I eat it. It's great. Okay. You want to dive into the meats or the tequitos?

Let's dive into the meats. Oh, I want it to tequitos. Why don't you ever... Can I ask you a question? Why don't you have, like, telepathy with me yet? It really pisses me off. What? I feel like you should know whenever I want to do things.

I feel like we used to have telepathy, but then... I've been gone for too long. And then now we're getting it back. But I think we slowly are. So what's this? Ticito has a sort of gray goo inside of it. So I really, I highly recommend we separate, we, we cut all of the tequitos in half to determine what they are. Because they have a few different kinds.

They have a Buffalo chicken. They have a Monterey Jack and chicken. They have a steak and cheese. So this is a steak and cheese. Is it? Wow. A savant. So there's, no, for real, I've eaten every single Takedo that they have ever come out.

with. What I love about their tequitos is it's like a pretty big flour tortilla, right? Dipped in some sort of craggy batter. And then there's what the French would call a crackling. Correct. This is a crockland. Yeah, yeah. Wow, very astute. You know what I mean? It's a savory croclan.

It's the Dutch crunch of tequitos. But then what this also does is this sort of gives a greasy coating on the outside that protects the moisture because, like, grease effectively, it seals it in, right? Inso it's like putting Vaseline on your face. Yeah, people do that. It's called slugging, actually. People slug. Ew. Putting Vaseline.

Like, it's called slugging in, like, the beauty community where you take, like, really, really, really, like, high, like, jelly or, like, creams, and you just slug them on your face, and you sleep with it, like, slugged on. Ew. And then you wake up in the morning. What happens to your pillow when you slug? I think they have, like, specialty pillows where you don't, like, rock. Just, like, wrap it in plastic?

Some people, you know, there's, like, wrinkle pillows? No. The things we do to be beautiful. You literally put your hands here And there's a pillow with like sides on it So your face stays like this so you don't get wrinkles Isn't that crazy? Do you know what my wife calls herself?

A beautiful gorgeous woman? No, she, I call her that She calls herself a popcorn girl What does that mean? Have you heard the term popcorn girl? It's where This is according to her I find her very beautiful with makeup without makeup

Everything But she, without makeup She's like a little unpop popcorn kernel But then with makeup and all the things and the creams and the clothes and the hairstyling, she thinks she then explodes into a big, beautiful, luscious bite of popcorn. But I learned that she's not a popcorn girl. She's beautiful with and without makeup. I disagree with that, Julia.

I think you're gorgeous. She can get into gremlin mode like us all. Well, naturally. Well, yeah. We all deserve to gremlin around. I'm a total gremlin sometimes. You're a little mogwai until, you know, you just get fed after midnight. And then you just say, eh.

And then you turn into the sexy gremlin with that tengini and the rome. and the red lipstick. I forgot that they sexualize the gremlins. They sexualize the gremlins. Can I tell you that my fingers don't feel necessarily as greasy as I was anticipating, though, which is nice. Yeah, the grease sort of soaks into the starch. Which is good. It's good.

These tequitos, when they're hot and fresh, which is tough to get, if you were to take these tequitos home and, like, shallow fry them, you know? But no one's going to do that. No, no. But I'm saying. They're going to whack it in the microwave for about 30 seconds, warm it through. Do you think these are better than, did you ever grow up in, like, the Costco, Elmond, Elmond, El Monterey. El Monterey.

I love a... We're talking about Costco tequitos. El Monterey. Yeah, of course. Or it's competitor, Jose Oleg. I never had Jose Oleg. I only had El Monterey. Delicious.

There's almost like a sourdough note. Do you taste that? Yeah, do you taste that like sourdough aftertaste? Is it just means... Are you just getting the umami from the beef and cheese? I think there's a scosh of citric acid in there to em. Oh, probably, yeah. Lime.

Yeah, yeah. And it lingers on the palate, and it tastes like sourdough to me. with the bread goo. Interesting. I mean, the steak and cheese has never been my favorite. I think the term steak that they're using

is tough to describe. It's generous. It's almost like a hairy goo. It's just the steak fibers. Yeah. Hairy goo is it nice. It's called steak fibers. There's just something about spring

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Okay, light up another tequito. Okay, I think this one, I mean, we have to taste it. It's probably cheese and chicken. Oh, Josh can just tell on site. They're like a tequito Somali. Yeah, too sour, doesn't work. It's so sour. I wish it wasn't as sour, and it has this, this has a stale,

a stale flavor to it that I don't enjoy. No, me neither. There's something. This tastes frozen. Mm-hmm. There's sometimes, like, a kind of freezer burnt and sink. You know what, okay, I had a great time. I reread a book that I hadn't read in probably 10, 15 years about food.

MFK. Fisher's How to Cook a Wolf. Okay. Incredible. She wrote it in 1942, like, during the height of food rations in America. Mm-hmm. And she was, like, this home economist, but it's this beautiful treatise on, like, trying to retain humanity and pleasure through food and aesthetic beauty, like, amid times of strife. Mm-hmm. And she's just, like, a wonderful prose writer.

but she was talking about like frozen foods as like, hey, I know you all hate these things and they all suck and they all taste like grass. But here's some ones that don't suck. And I totally forgot that back then, like, until the like immediate deep freeze methods were created, all frozen food apparently just tasted like hay. Why? Why? Why? thing of the way that it, like... Like in the facilities?

Yeah, there was... I remember reading about this when we did a thing about Clarence Birdseye with Hank Green. And, like, they just had this problem where it would just taste like weird, cheesy and grassy. I think some of it had to do with, like, spoilage and cross-contamination. Because if you can't freeze things fast enough, right? It's kind of just sitting there and then water forms and bacteria gets in the water and then it turns in ice. Just getting all stanky. Sometimes I taste a frozen food.

like kind of has this weird, almost like grassy cardboardy flavor. Was that what you're tasting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too. That's like, also, when you're making processed foods, talking about the hairy steak fibers, but this, it's like, the more you break down the meat, the more successful it is. Yeah, you want to, we don't need chunks in our tequitos.

The point is you need to literally make pink slime and shove it through some tortillas, roll it up, deep fry it, call it a day. Yeah, this chunk ain't doing it for me. It's an unnecessary chunk. That's what I feel about Taco Bell finally, like, really nailing their shredded chicken. Mm-hmm. Taco Bell nailed their shredded chicken with their canteen. I agree.

It's really good. It's just a little bit saucy. It's great. And their grilled chicken was always, like, I think, the worst protein in Taco Bell. I agree. The chicken's got so much citric acid in it. So this looks like another steak and cheese, but it looks like there's a green thing in there. Maybe it's a jalapeno.

That's not bad. The steak is working. It's really like Machaca. You know Machaca? It is Machaca. It's Machaca. Machaca. Machaca is dry.

beef that is reconstituted with a liquid. And it's actually really good in breakfast burritos. Machaka breakfast burritos are my S-H-I-T. Same. I grew up my local spot. And shout out to Cilindas in RSM, the one by the post office near the big, the weirdly big AM-PM that's like, was this a dentist office before it was in AM-PM. They had the best Machaca breakfast burrito.

I haven't eaten it in probably a decade. I've got to go back next time in R-SM. The undercurrent of cumin is really good. And we know we talk about cumin and how it's. like body odor, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, stale old cumin kind of has this body odor taste to it. It's kind of good.

Fresh ground cumin doesn't. But, like, no, I like that body odor taste. It's like... It tastes good. Like Asafitita, right? Yeah, and I love Asa Tiber. Where it's like, it's like, whoa. You know, it's pungent.

It's intense. And I like it. Yeah, it's a very pungent flavor. And it's heavily spiced. Whatever they're pumping through these little machines, they are spicing the heck out of it. What's the most pungent American flavor that we have like that? Sugar.

No, but, like, Something that's like... Like, say, thing? Like, Worcestershire? Like, Wistachir? It's British, but like... Yeah. That's a real, like, pungent, crazy thing. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but, I mean, like, what seasoning isn't really pungent like that. A lot of liquid smoke in there, too. I'm starting to get Tommy Gourkems. I think ketchup was our thing. Oh. I want to make an original mushroom ketchup recipe. K-ch-up...

K-H-A-F-R-E. That's what it is, right? Q-U-E-E-S-A-F, right? AP, right? I don't know what I'm saying. Ketchup. Wasn't it originally, like, we made out of mushrooms like thousands of years ago? Fish. I thought it was mushrooms.

Well, no, mushrooms was when it got to Britain. And that's like a couple hundred years ago. Why? Mushrooms got numami. They probably had a bunch of mushrooms to use up. And they were kind of just, like, doing new things. There was walnut ketchup, too. You told me how walnut ketchup? This is a, this is just an elongated chicken nugget.

You have history with this? I do have history of this. So this is called the Buffalo Chicken Roller. And my favorite part about ordering one of these from 7-Eleven is that the employees never seem to know if this is meant to be a sandwich or not. So this is a giant elongated chicken. I get a very pressed-informed chicken inside that they then bred in like a red, sour, buffalo spicy coating. Oh, my God, it's phenomenal. And when you order one at 7-Eleven, because it's unclear if this is meant to be a spicy chicken sandwich or a spicy chicken nugget.

I think it's a nugget. Because then sometimes you'll request a bun. And they'll be like, you're trying to scam me out of a free bun. They look at you weird when you eat this with a bun. Some do. Some give you a bun automatically. Nobody seems to know. Well, this is, it is bunded up.

What? It has a bun. I squeeze it and the strange goo comes out with the juice. Stop it. This tastes delicious. Yeah. What the heck? Why is this so good?

I'm having so much fun. Oh, I can see the goo. And maybe it's cheese? I feel like I'm on Dr. Pimple Popper. Yeah, when you squeeze it, a goo comes out. Josh. Is it just like albumin and emulsified fat?

You know, for two hungover people, we're being uber gross right now. Oh, I love being gross when I'm hung over. Are we trying to make each other vomit? No, this is just how I normally am.

This is actually really bringing me back to life. The Buffalo Jigan Roller, where do you put this against the tequitos? Do you think he's better? I'm going to give it a number one. This is my number one

food I've eaten. It's so good. It's really ridiculously good, ma'am, man. It's really ridiculously good. It got heavily spiced. Hey, I have a theory.

I think the reason why they spice things so heavily is so you buy a drink. What do you say? Oh, that's probably it. What's say you? You got a big one, too. Yeah, a big old, if you will, or a slurpee. So, Jigs out, drinks are so cheap.

I remember talking to a high school girlfriend's dad who worked for Taco Bell. And he was talking about the economics of, because I was like, how are they making money when they're offering, like, they used to offer like $0. $0.44 drinks, right? There's a special.

I was like, how are you making money? He was like, oh, they could sell you that drink for $0.15 and they'd still make money. Yeah. Like, it doesn't matter how big the drink is. It's so, so, so cheap to just get syrup in soda water that no matter what that's going to have the higher margin. At a crazy scale, too. Yeah, yeah. And then when people feel like they're getting a deal, they also buy more food.

True. Are you getting something else now, or do you want to try? What jikido's that? This looks like it is here. I think it's either the... Chicken Monterey Jack. Wow, you are so good at this. It's scared me.

Is the chicanonore jack or is this the jalapeno cream juice? It tastes like a jalopi. Oh, my jalapeno cream cheese. Yeah. So this is the best. Mmm. Mm-hmm. This is the best.

They've turned, speaking of tube, they turned the jalapeno popper into a tube. Oh, I thought this was a bagel. It just like a bagel to me. Well, it's jalapeno and cream cheese and a little fried thing. You never had jalapeno cream cheese before? Grow up. I certainly have, and I've had plain cream cheese on a jalapeno cheddar bagel, and that's fun. No, that might be the best bite.

That's sort of where this is coming out. That might be the best bite ever. A whole pie. jalapeno cheddar. It's jalapeno cheddar bagels, just like a West Coast thing? I don't know. Like, do they have those? I'm freaking obsessed with them.

Can you go to like Zabars in New York, like, s a bagel and get a jalapeno? You know what? I actually don't know. But I think whenever it comes to bagels, I'm such a maximalist. Like, I love to put a bunch of crap on there, like a bunch of crap. That's because we didn't grow up with like a lot of like, we didn't grow up with a sacred bagel culture. There's no sacred bagel culture. We grew up with the utilitarian bagel culture.

Yes, because we're just. The hell you want, yeah, but whatever the hell you want on your bagel. Yeah, whatever the hell you want. West Coast juice. Yeah, we do whatever we want when it comes to bagels. But this tastes like a bagel. That's really good. I think that's a numero dose for all the cool.

I was waiting until we got to the cream cheese, jalapeno tequito, because I literally think they just took the structure of a jalapeno or a jalapeno cheese bagel with cream cheese. The jalapeno's and cream cheese is a wonderful combination. 10 out of 10. And then they turned that into a tube that can be just easily inserted into the mouth. Delicious. Wonderful.

I love that. What are the other tegatives? How do they keep figuring out and make more teguidos? Just open it. Just figure it out. There might be repeats. Who knows? I think it's more buffalo.

Did you just ask them for one of everything? Yes. That's pretty funny. Also, knowing the crowd that's in 7-11 in the morning, it's like a lot of construction workers getting their coffee. Right. And just people trying to go about their day. Yeah, you must have felt like such an asshole.

Sometimes your job requires you to be a buffalo. I think that's another one. Go ahead and grab one of those. But you know, some of these things, they might be not. correctly. Oh, yeah, dude. Like, you can't expect a lot. This is another community hallibino. Okay, whatever, I'll eat it.

Mm. Okay. Okay. No. Thus, we have completed the the tukino route. What if you shit? Did you go to Leroy and Lewis when you were in?

No, here's the crazy thing. I literally told you and Annalise to go. I got, like, no barbecue in Austin. What I did eat, though, was a lot of regionally specific tortilla wrapped products, which I do really enjoy. Okay. But there's so little time for you to enjoy life. Yeah, you're just shuttle from one of the event to another you're working.

There was one day where I like was so starving that I couldn't find food. Anywhere? Six hours. No, because you're like literally like one interview and then you have 10 minutes to get to the next one. Someone needs to pack you a bag of snacks next time. I know. We should have had that. You guys need to, you need a designated snack bag with jerky.

I know. I even had my wife there and it didn't work. But yeah, you need... She was also working. Yeah, you can't expect that from her. You don't. Yeah, you just gotta have... Do you have an assistant when you go?

No. Okay, you need to. No, I mean, I have an... Annalise like a good handler, but she's also like running tech. She's a hundred and stuff. You know what I mean? Buy your girl a ticket. I'm fine without food.

It was great. I kicked ass and then, you know, I had a shot of more. It was tough. But here's the thing, I was drinking. Because I lined my pockets to little vodka shots. That's even worse. Why? Great time.

Drinking on an empty stomach sounds terrible. But we did go to Granny's tacos. Mm-hmm. They got breakfast tacos. Uh-huh. Classic Austin thing. And, like, yeah, Miga's breakfast tacos. We got like a chorizo egg, cactus and cheese taco.

That was just incredible. Oh, God, I love Nopale. But then as we're walking there, we hear, like, music pouring out of a little event space. And it's in this weird industrial park in Austin. And then we go into it, and it's like one of these weird kind of day raves. Oh. Called, like, Morning Spin Bike. mushroom cowboy and I don't know what that is.

And I don't even think it was psychedelic mushrooms. I'm very confused. It was just like Chagachinos? Kind of. But they were also like had a full bar so, you know, get a drink at 11 a.m. And then inside this bar, they're doing quote, El Paso-style burritos, which is right next to Juarez, where Juarez basically invented the burrito. It was just like thin, long, open burritos just filled with gisado.

So awesome, man. And then we went to Comedor. Oh, they're delicious tortilla-Rout products. Did you go to Jew Boy Burger? No. I heard they're... We've had that, right? Yeah, we had a once. I liked it. I liked you. And then I mostly ate tortilla wrap products in Austin.

And then I had a burrito, I did chili quillas, breakfast burrito when I was hung over. Yum. That was great. It was nice time. Should we eat the tube meat? Yeah, I'm ready. Whichever one calls to you first. What's this one?

I believe that's the... Are we splitting it? Yeah, what do you mean? So this appears to be the same... This is the Italian sausage, I believe. It's Italian sausage. Yeah. Smells smoky.

Mmm. You like this? Oh, it's terrible. It's so good. Oh, my God, it's terrible. Adios, meo. You can smell the fennel seed in there. There's definitely liquid smoke.

Oh, no. It coarse ground sausage, but it has enough filler in there. That's where you don't really have to chew the meat. I don't love the spring. You don't love the spring and the snap? The spring and the snap makes me feel like I'm eating human flesh. This is really well done. Oh, my God.

You like it? Listen, Bestie, you do whatever's right for you right now. I want to put it inside of the tequito. Well, what's interesting, right? What's interesting, right is normally, if you're to go to say, like, there's a great sausage sandwich spot called reverse kush or verse kukha. Yes. And if you're to go there and they have like hot dogs, right?

Yes. You get like a hot dog versus a brotwurst. The hot dog looks a lot more mass produced than a Bratwurst. A Bratwurst, you look at it. Yeah, you can look at a Browlerce and say that's not a regular hot dog. There's like some sort of a regularity to it. American. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But this, they've mainlined the Italian sausage so much that it looks as processed as a hot dog, and it's a little jarring. I don't love it. It's a little jarring that's the same size. I don't love it, best. But as a, you know what the problem is they don't have any appropriate condiments for this at a 7-Eleven? Well, yeah, what are they going to do? Deli mustard and chopped onions?

Get the peppers and onions, a little bit of marina on there, you know what I mean. That's going to put mustard and ketchup on it. So that's the thing that I wouldn't want. But I love the innovation. Where else are going? They didn't have any of the Tapatio branded hot dogs, did they? Did they get rid of that collab? I don't think that was at 7-11.

I believe the Tapatio hot dog was at AMPN. Really? Yeah. So this. I'm comfortable. This gurfy son of a biscuit right here, Nicole. Now, this is the quarter-pound big bite. Is it actually quarter-pound?

Yeah. That's heavy. That's heavy. You think this is a quarter-pound? You want to break it in half? I thought you went to and go. Oh! You just got the little nub.

Doesn't that mean that? My wish doesn't come to or whatever. Yeah, Ola, it's really staring at me in the face. Mmm, that's delicious. It tastes like a Hebrew national. It tastes like Hebrew national. Actually, it tastes like Costco's new dogs that are not Hebrew national. The Kirkland Hot Dogs.

Kirkland by Kirkland. This tastes like somebody trying to make a Hebrew national. A little heavy on the liquid smoke, I think. I like it. Damn. Why is that so good? What's crazy? There's a whole mustard seed.

And that a hot dog right now. Oh, I'm using this to wipe my fingers. Give me some bun. You just pulled a bun out of nowhere. Give me half a bun. Can I wipe my hand? Yeah, wipe your hands and then give me the bun. Sorry, my hands are really greasy and I don't know where the napkins are.

So I'm just going to do this really quick. There you go. I made it special for you. I don't have. You're eating that part of the hot dog? You eating the bottom part? You're so interesting. I forgot how interesting you were.

That's good, man. It's such a good hot dog. Okay. What are the other hot dog? I'm sorry? What are the other hot dogs that we got? We got a small one. There's a little guy.

There's one spicy one. I'm guessing this is a spicy one because it has spices throughout. There's a little guy feels loose. What is that mean? The flesh feels loose under the skin. That tastes off. It tastes off. I'm not going to even entertain that.

Do we know which one that is? That's the spicy bite hot dog. I don't like it. No. Not getting a ton of spicy from it. Definitely a bite. I don't want to do this anymore. Can I stop?

I kind of like breaking all these in half, though. I know. You sometimes find a little surprise inside. Ooh, this one has cheese in it. This is one... Oh! I believe this is the Johnsonville cheese sausage one. They are doing breakfast sausages now.

We've got to do the Johnsonville cheese sausage. Do you feel sick yet? Mm-hmm. Mm. There's maple in it. Oh, like that. Oh. It tastes like a McGrittle.

Well. I know this isn't South by Southwest, but we're having fun, right? I'm having so much fun, man. I miss this. Ooh, this one's a spicy big bite. That's a... Oh, fuck.

Oh, God. It filmed in so many things. Let me see. Oh. It exploded harder. I thought it would. Josh, what do we learn today? I think ultimately we learned today that sometimes restriction is not the essence of creativity.

You know what I mean? Sometimes if somebody told you just to make the best dish in the world, right? But if somebody said, make a Southeast Asian dish that features the color purple and makes you feel joy. Uh-huh. You could come up with a dish immediately. Yes. 50 years ago when somebody invented a rolling warmer and said, hey, we can heat hot dogs on this. And maybe we can heat some other stuff.

There was probably about 25 years of innovation that happened. We got the cheeseburger big bite. We got the buffalo chicken roller. They said, wow, we can put it to Kino on there. But right now, I think we've stalled. I think we've stalled like we did with space travel when we're into the moon. I see. We're simply not putting the amount of resources that we need.

We can put more stuff inside these sausages. But right now, I think we might be at the tail end of the zenith of the roller grill at 7-Eleven. As now all of the Japanese foods come in to take over, I think we are ushering a send-off. to the 7-11 roller grill with this bacchanal smorgas board we have today. The moment you've been waiting for is here.

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We're not wearing our headphones, Vestie. You got to put it. your head photo on. Now it's time to find out what it is rattling out there in the universe. Time for a little thing we call opinions are like casseroles.

I call you Besty all the time today. Isn't that what Gen Z is now saying? They're saying Besty, I found a tequeter crum. I don't know. I'm like a cockroach. I skitter across the table and I eat little crumbs off of it

and I pass disease. Josh, you are not a cockroach. Cacaroach. Don't call yourself a cockroach. You're not a cackaroach. Natasha Leon. Cacharoach. Oh, wow.

I am so excited for that voicemail. Yeah, you are. That y'all read, sultry voices. My food opinion is that turkey bacon is the bacon of the future. Discuss. Discuss. All right. I would also waiter to say it was the bacon of the past.

I was going to argue that's the bacon of the past. You know what's the bacon of the future, bacon. Oh, well Bacon Mahha Hold on, yeah Mahha says eat bacon No, no no

No, no Mahha, they're weirdly only saying eat beef. Have you ever like heard a Mahha person fetishized pork in the same way?

No, it's always beef. No, I think what I've seen as keto people fetishize bacon. Bacon, yeah, but like, I don't know,

it's a weird thing the way we feel about the pig. I mean, we're Jews. We're Jew, yeah, but I mean, I grew up eating pig

and I grew up in like the bacon. I probably had like Four big trotters right now. I know, I know, I know. I probably eight to half of a side of a pig right now. It was a whole pig butthole in each quarter-town. It was great, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Beef bacon. I actually, my house is kosher, so I do buy beef bacon, and I utilize beef bacon in my house sometimes. Tracking the Maha movement. Uh-huh. I was in Austin, Texas, I don't know if you know this. Yes, I do. I do. Signs everywhere are saying beef tallow only, we're seed oil free now.

Oh. You know what I mean? They're really ripping that. one is cooking with pork lard. No one's advertising we're cooking with pork lard. There's unfortunately a negative association with lard. The word lard is negative. The word tallow, oh my gosh, we're going back to our roots.

It's wild to me. It's all marketing. I know it's ad some of my, but that's what I'm saying. So is the future of bacon, which I think beef bacon is going to be the future. I think turkey bacon is a wonderful product and what I like, well. I think you're right. You know what? I'm going to, I'm going to, what's it called?

I'm going to backtrack. I'm going to backtrack and I'm going to backtrack and I'm going to agree with you that beef bacon is also You know, it's kosher, it's halal. Yeah. That's hot right now. We love it. Turkey bacon was the bacon of our parents because they were in the low-fat movement. Yeah.

And then bacon from pig stomach was ours. Not pig stomach, pig belly. Pig belly. Was ours because of epic meal time. And then now the generation after us, the like trad looks maxers who are anti-divorous and pro beef tallow. Yeah. They're going right to beef bacon. You're 100% right.

So that's what's happening. I've unfortunately been made aware of someone called clavicular. Me too. And I wish I didn't know who that person was. Me either. And now I'm pretty bummed out. They're telling young boys to break the bones in their face so they can get more pronounced structure in their face so they're more attractive. No, they're actually breaking your, they're creating little like kind of micro fractures.

Well, yeah, it's Thai kickboxers. It's Thai kickboxers, right? You're literally telling kids to just like smack. themselves in the, so their maxillibone does something. What are we doing? What are we doing? Surely there was moral panic when we were growing up, right? What was our moral panic?

A big moral panic for us was jackass. Oh, was it? They're putting people, they're shooting each other with tasers and they're putting mousetraps on their dangled angles on TV. You know, on the same TV where we used to watch Mr. Rogers, you know? I love, can I say? I love Mr. Rogers. And then Joseph Lieberman basically tried to get Jackass.

Off the air. The guy who wanted to be the president? Yeah, that was like one of his big things. Wow. He launching a war against Jackass. That's why he didn't win, huh? But yeah, that must have been a big moral panic. And so now we're older and just being like,

they're telling the kids to break their bones. Well, yeah, I mean, but I have a feeling watching Jackass versus hitting yourself in the face to be more beautiful. Oh, sure. I'm not saying they're completely equivalent. They're not equivalent. But I think we have, every generation goes through their own weirdness. I just hope this one doesn't end.

This one dies out real soon. A ground invasion. Because they're related. It's all related. It's all related. It's all related. Okay. Next.

Do that answer your question about... Yes. I love a turkey-bacon BLT. Okay. I don't. It's the second time. Calling back because I messed up the first time. I hope you guys are doing good.

I love you all great stuff. I've been listening since the beginning. Stephen Milligan and Josh, I want you to try to get it. where I'm from, they saw my dialect. Are you going to tell us after? First opinion, I got a couple. Nays belongs on a peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich.

That's just a little bit of tang. It's great. But I don't think deep south. In my opinion. Second opinion. American sushi is not complete without a crunch and a mush. All crunch. I love that.

No good. Like a computer shrimp. that is cucumber rice and the whole thing. Tempure fried not good. But equally not as good is tuna and avocado. Yeah.

Yeah, he's so, this is such a good opinion. Yeah. I agree with this. Anyways, I love this pod. Keep doing your thing, guys. Nicole, hope you're doing good with the baby.

You're so sweet, thank you. I'm going to pause it here because he reveals where he's run. Oh, my gosh. Appalachia? I'm going to say, um, I'm going to say like, Northern Kentucky.

Not quite Louisville. I'm going to say West Virginia. I also don't know the geography of any of these areas. I'm going to say West Virginia. I'm not that etymology or the accent expert, Mr. Zay-Dupree. I don't have that. I don't have that gift. But I'm going to say either like Eastern Tennessee or Kentucky.

Saying all of West Virginia. Where's he at? Oh, I'm also from Augusta, Georgia. Oh, I mean. Deeper South than I thought. Oh, I mean. The Tempura. The tempura.

Yeah, well, what are you going to do? I'd have a great time if I went to Georgia for like a week and a half, just all around. I really like his opinion about sushi. Yeah, that's a really, that's very, very, very interesting. I was saying it like American sushi because that's the kind that I like, that's the stuff that speaks to me. I love American sushi. You know, you got to have like a spicy tuna mush and that's surrounding a shrimp tempura. And then maybe on top, maybe that's where you get a whole sliced fish.

You ever had those crispy onions? Oh my God. Crispy onions on sushi? Oh, game change, or. But yeah, and then you get a crispy onion on top, especially like somebody else is like a soy vinegar. Mm. Mm. And then you save the soy vinegarat to dip your other sushi into.

Oh, my God. Oh, I love American sushi. Once last time I went to sushi together. You and I? Yeah. It's been a while. Remember the time you gave me a coupon for Kura? Yeah, because you go so much.

And then you got mad at me for giving you a coupon to Kura. And I'm like, bro, use the coupon. Well, all right, one more. Okay, we got a long one. I'm ready. Hello. My name is Alex. that I'm originally from California, now living in Jersey.

And I would posit that the best survival or apocalypse food is peanut butter. Okay. Now, first, it has no special preparation or storage requirements. It doesn't need to be frozen or refrigerated, and it doesn't need to be cooked or mixed with water like the freeze-dried food, which is important because I've got a lot of sparkling water on hand with flavors, and I don't really think that they should be mixing very much. I will say, I think I agree with you where this is going, but when you say that one of the benefits of peanut butter

is that you don't have to reconstitute it with your cran-Raz-flavored LaCroix, that's not the fault of the freeze-dried food. That's the fault of you only having cranrass-Lacroy, as opposed to somehow access to faucet water. So I will say, there's a little bit of the caveat there. Okay, Logan, continue. Secondly, it's got a long shelf life.

That's true. It's not going to rot. It might go rancid, but it'll still be edible. He's right. Third, it's pretty nutritionally dense with good macros. You know, it's got a lot of calories. It's got a lot of protein. It's got some fat.

So it's good to go. you know, if you just have to store a lot of food in a very small space, I think it's really good for that purpose. Some bonus points, I think that there's a lot of variety, crunchy, smooth, sweet, salty, the natural ones which have the oil on top, you can use it for oily things. You can use it as fuel for an oil lamp. So I think that's also, you know, a pretty good bonus that other foods. wouldn't have.

And I know that you're thinking about allergies. I was just about to say that, actually. How did you know? A, the strong will need to survive. And B, the rate of allergies for peanuts is going down as like parents introduce their children to penis. Starting solids. Worry less about that. So that's why I think that peanut butter is the best survival food.

But let me know what you think. Do you find any holes in this? Can I tell you what it is? The opinion was so long, I zoned out a little bit. But I do agree that peanut butter is a really good survival food. I think it's a brilliant survival food. And I don't know if it ever goes... I mean, the oil in it does get rancid.

Yeah, he was like, it can go rancid, but... Well, like, who cares? Whenever it's a zombie apoc, do whatever you want. I'm going to kill you. I think there's one more perfect food. Rice. No, not rice. Not rice.

It's more than perfect food that has all... Sweet potato. No, no, no, because you use something that's also a complete protein. Bean. Bean, baby, that's cans of lacostenia refried beans. Because I'll tell you what. Same thing as peanut butter. They got lardin them.

No, the difference is. That's just bean butter. That's just peanut. But they're entirely different plants. And here's what beans do for you. They got one, they got more fiber, two. They have more carbohydrates. They still have protein, five grams of protein per 15 grams of carbs per seven grams of fat.

That's more balanced. That's going to keep you going longer. You eat only peanut butter. You're going to end up in ketosis. Lots of fat. You might get those shredded Jesus abs, right? But you're not going to, it's not going to give you the longevity that you need to survive a zombie apocalypse. You're going to get the pictures.

You're going to get. Jesus abs. Well, forgive me father. I have sinned. Jesus is hot. Yeah, I agree. Do you think that's why people converted to. I think it's part of it.

I think. Jesus is attracted. I like, you know, there's a lot of politics and how they depicted Jesus in images. you know, especially regarding color of his skin. Oh, I didn't even see. Color of his eyes, you know, tone of his body. Jesus has blue eyes?

What color are Jesus eyes? I would say, yeah, Lacostania refried pinto beans, I think it'll last longer simply because the carbs are going to be a fast-acting source of energy. Don't risk ending up in that keto flu. Also, one of the reasons that societies did not develop like nut-based food stores, if that makes sense. The reason almost every major society ran on grain

is because nuts just they kind of make you poop your pants. Jesus. You know, so let's have all that fat. You need a more balanced eye with carbs. Jesus almost certainly had brown eyes. Is that just GROC? Is that just the AI overview?

Said Jesus is probably a brownish? Yes. It's tremendous. Fantastic. All right. Well, thank you so much. Is that bad? You want me to do?

No, I just think it's funny. I'm doing a podcast. I think it's funny that as if you just read like a historian's genealogical account. You think I would be able to find that? You know, the reason I knew it was just AI. The rap sign is on, no, the rap sign is on the board and I care about our time here. You said it so definitely in a way that I really loved, in a way that, like, of course, Jesus likely.

Do you want me to say, Jesus almost certainly had brown eyes? Would that have been better? No, Nicole, it wouldn't have been better. Okay. What do you want me to do? I can't please anybody here. No, thank you so much for stop by a hot dog. It's a sandwich.

You've got new episodes for you every Wednesday out on the Mythical Kitchen YouTube channel. And then we are on our own channel. Josh. Oh, shit. Are you on Twitter right now? What are you doing? No, I'm on Facebook. Get on Facebook, you boomer.

I want to see what my friends are up to. You don't, no, you don't have any friends. We're not on the Mythical Kitchen channel anymore. We're on the hot dog because of the sandwich channel. That's its own channel. Yes, I know. I'm so tired. I'm so tired.

I got to do more work, though. That sucks. So do I, man. I have so many emails from people. I have a couch in my office now. Oh, God. And I'm going to lay on it. You have a bean bag?

What? Got a bean bag in there? We got rid of the beanbag. You got rid of the freaking beanbag? If you want to be featured on opinions on our casseroles, hit us up at 833 Dog Pod 1. It's the only phone number I've memorized in the past like seven, eight years. I don't know my mom's phone number. I don't know my dad's phone number.

I don't know my husband's phone number. Other than this, 833 Dogpod 1. You're going to get arrested. And for your one phone call that you get, it's just Logan's going to get it three weeks later. That's just like, hey, long time listener person. Just kidding. I'm in jail. That's great.

All right. See y'all next time.