A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Trying Every Oreo Flavor

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

Today, Josh and Nicole taste every Oreo flavor and decide - are there ANY that stand up to the original?Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1Check out the video version of this podcast:https://www.youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich

Hey, Nicole, what's milk's favorite cookie? Oreo, of course. And what's ginger ale's favorite cookie? Um, sticker doodles. What's orange juice's favorite cookie? Thumbprint cookies. What's a Nogroni's favorite cookie? Biscotti.

Oh. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich.

What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. The show, well, what we really do is a sandwich. we personify drinks and try and figure out which cookies they would like. We've been doing that for almost seven years. You did pretty good.

Yeah. I'm really quick on my feet. You really are. People don't think that. But let me tell you, I am quick. Give me an improv prop. I can do it. Just kidding.

Don't do it. Okay. Yeah, I think it's because you, you plod and you plod. You plod. You plod. What does Claude mean? You applaud when?

Like applaud? No, no. Claude. P-L-O-D. You, like. applaud meaning. To walk slowly or to work... Yeah, my sense of urgency is...

Wait, finish the definition. Oh, to walk slowly or to work through a tedious task in a slow and steady way. You're such a bully. I'm... I'm not a border. So people think metaphorically you're not quick on your feet. It's like how people think Southerners are dumb because they speak like there's my lashes coming out of their mouths.

Sorry, I just watched the time to kill. Anyways, we're... You can continue. Yeah. Speaking of plotting, we're going to eat Oreos. We need all the Oreos. Why are we doing this? That's a great question, man.

It's a great question. I think we have to. It's for science. And I'm a scientist. We are scientists. We didn't have these when we were kids. You mean like in our house? Like our parents were used to buy these?

No, like what varieties of Oreo do you remember? No, just this one. There was like. Oreo O's in these. Yeah, there was like normal style. Oh, God. I remember the one Nabiscan. came out with their 100 calorie packs.

Oh, yeah. That was before we could use science to make food taste good. Oh, yeah. The flat, the flat black crackers. Yeah, there was no cream. There was no fun. Flat black crackers with little,

I think it had maybe like three Demerara sugar crystals on the top. Just the worst way you could spend 100 calories is eating these little chocolate-scented cardboard nuggets. Yeah. But no, there was double stuffed and there was these and then Halloween,

I think they would just put a bunch of food dye in them make them orange. Oh, are you a fan of those? No. I hate those. I just, I love like a classic. single-stuffed Oreo man. You like him, Jamie?

Jamie, like him? I don't know why, but the orange ones are better. Really? To me. That little bit of red 40 just kind of makes you extra aggressive. You know, I grew up on it, so I feel like maybe that's why. It's just nostalgic. The design of the cookie on the outside, like, has like a spooky kitty or a spooky

jack or lantern. No. Oh, man. It's literally just feel like the orange ones taste better. But I bet you blind. Jack or lantern. That's a good idea for an episode. We got to get a blind guy

Or blind girl or blind non-binary person Or blindfold What's a fold? So we're going to try A regular Oreo first Milk's flavor cookie I feel like there's different generations of Oreo flavor here Okay extrapolate

Can I extrapolate here? Of course you can't Golden Oreos We had these. These came out They were revelation I like them all I love them in fact

You love golden Oreos I think a standard Oreo is really wonderful The black cocoa that they use in the cookie. It's a very, very unique flavor. That's why so many Oreo flavored frozen yogurts and all that kind of stuff. Golden Oreos still, their cream, their cookie base, it's better. What's that cookie? Hirox. No, that's bootleg cross-ed cross-fit. Hydrox. Justice for Hydrox cookies.

Hydrox is the cookie. Highrox is the CrossFit knockoff. And the high racks is a rodent. You know why you think I'm plotting today? Because I'm wearing flip-flops. Yeah. And I never wear flip-flops at work. I always were closer shoes. But I have been plotting. I was thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, that's why. Golden Oreos came out.

Then you had things like lemon, you had mint, you had, I don't know about peanut butter. That's one generation. The next generation is the crazy stuff over here. Crazy stuff. Chicken and waffles, sour patch Oreos. Nobody needs that. Nobody asked for it. Absolutely not.

Actually, the Reese's ones are really new because they also did Oreo stuffed Reese's peanut butter cups, which are not good. These are better. Now, what's the difference between a Reese's Oreo and a peanut butter Oreo? That's a good question, actually. Read the packaging. What I'm trying to find, like, the difference. The ingredients? No, I'll just say what it says in the front. But you know what?

You can read the back. This is Reese's peanut butter cream with, wait, what? With Oreo cookie crumbs. They mixed Oreo cookies in the mix. In the peanut butter? And that's just like peanut butter cream. I guess, but this is peanut butter flavor cream as well. I guess there's no little bits.

I think it's just a branding thing, you know what I mean? It might be, but we have to taste them side by side. I'm really excited to do that. And then you have the, the BTS Oreos. Yeah, Calabers. Everybody loves a good club. The Lady Gaga Oreos. They were Lady Gaga Orioles?

Oh, yeah. That's incredible. She's mother. She is mother. I got to see Lady Gaga sing live, and it was really beautiful. You did? YouTube Brandcast 2025, baby. If I saw Lady Gaga in my presence, I think I would vomit and die.

There is an SVP of marketing at Volvo. Maybe she was a CMO at Volvo, given a speech. about God knows what. And you could hear Lady Gaga rehearsing from the back. I would die. It was incredible. I would fall on the floor and die.

And the Volvo lady was like, oh, boy, I guess she's getting ready. And our newest marketing campaign for the V, you know. Just get off the stage, lady. I know, I know. Let Lady Gaga be in front of us. I'll never forget. Casey Nysdat, though, is sitting next to me and we never met before.

Wow, TBT, uh-huh. And he, as the Volvo CMO is giving her, and it was actually, it was a really good presentation, about a really good marketing campaign. Casey just kind of elbows me and goes, This woman is exquisite. And I think he meant, like, not, not, like, attractive, but I think he meant, like, really, like, exquisitely doing her job and communicating. Wow.

Major. So that's my story. I'm going to eat this Oreo. Good idea. How long do you soak an Oreo for? I just do a little dunk. I do a light dunk. I don't do a deep soak.

Wow. I love soaking. You love deep soaks, yes. Big deep soaking guy. Yes, you are. The friction is the sin. So what I'm doing is. doing for our audio listeners.

Oh, you eat the whole thing? What do you do? What do you mean? You got to dip each side and then you just... No, chance, dude. Standard Oreo, I've set my palate. Wonderful, can't imagine anything better. It's delicious.

Holy smokes. What delicious product? Which one of these? I think we start with golden Oreo. I disagree. I say we do peanut butter. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I didn't say Rieces, I said peanut butter, but you know what? We got to try these side by side. Okay. Like one of these. We got to look at these side. By side. Okay. There's two different peanut butter orias.

Give me the packaging of that one. There's a peanut butter and then a Reese's. This is important. I feel like an investigative journalist. Is this what journalism is? Absolutely. A journalism is dead. God.

Okay, I think we have to compare the two. Yeah. Okay. Reese's peanut butter significantly darker. It's darker and more orange, which implies a roaster, toastier flavor, maybe even a salted flavor. The light one, it's given cream

Do you ever like pop open your Oreos and like lick out the cream? Yeah I do various different Oreo eating methods Signifiers of food Reese's is saltier I said that Yeah I knew it was gonna be saltier Why did I know that because Reese is salted?

Wow the Reese's one is so much more peanut butter flavored And it's more roasted flavor too More roasted flavor you are dead ass right I'm dead ass right Do I like it more though Gotta eat as his handle It says they have the same amount of sodium. Hmm.

But I'm tasting more salty in one. It's so much saltier. I know. It's a lot better, right? It's delightful. Here's the thing. I think you can just really sort of lie on nutrition labels. Yeah.

I'm actually very interested about that. People love lying. If numbers are too round, someone's lying. Sure. All the numbers are round. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no way it's 125 milligrams of sodium and not 127. I think you're right.

I will say The Reese's one The little chocolate bits inside The cookie bits inside Inconsequential Unimportant Yeah are there those were there though I mean they say they're marketed as they are

Crack it Is that it? Huh? You eat the whole one No crack it open Yeah It makes no difference Look at that

No but the Reese's one tastes a lot better Yes it does Also it looks It just looks like a dirty Dirty cookie You know what I mean Just looks dirty Have you had the

the Reese's peanut butter cup with the Oreo chunks inside of it? Yes, I have. The Oreo chunks in that make it almost consequential. It's like the wrong ratios. I see. Too chocolatey. The right ratio is you should just crack open a vanilla Oreo. Well, this is not a vanilla.

This is a classic Oreo. There's probably vanilla in there. Of course. Have they ever done it? Just like vanilla. I believe the golden Oreo was a vanilla Oreo. Or at least vanilla. Vanillin.

Oh, gosh. I've been reading a lot about vanilla lately. Anyways, you should just take a whole ass Reese's peanut butter cup and shove that inside of an Oreo. That's the best. way to eat all of that, right? Yeah. Or, you know, the Rhesus chocolate doesn't work for me.

I don't like the chocolate outside of a Rhesus Oreo. It bends in a way that chocolate shouldn't. I don't love it. I like the peanut butter inside more than the chocolate. And I don't like the entire treat as it exists. The Rhesus miniatures, though, love those. I think it's because the chocolate on the sides are harder because it's inside of a metal, metal, inside of an aluminum little, like...

You also got to take into account the fact that. that we're in Southern California. It never rains in Southern California. This is so true. I was reading about the idea of Europeans not, and I think this is just a theory, about Europeans not refrigerating their eggs, and I know there's something about the processing

and the coating that allow salmonella to flow, yada, yada, yada. But I guess, like, most things, like, eggs are just going to have salmonella. That's part of it. But it has to do with how much salmonella is actually propagating. And apparently, like,

room temperature in a place, like something California, if eggs are out at room temperature, our room temperature is an average of 77 degrees. Whereas if you're in like Northern France, that's probably an average of 68, 71 degrees. And so, and literally I think it's past 74 degrees where salmonella really starts. I think that might have been a... The salmonella, like duplicate? Like duplicate? I think so, yeah. I think I might have gotten that tidbit from B. Wilson's Considered the Fork, which is an incredible book. But she talks a lot about refrigeration.

But anyways, the idea that like eating a Reese's peanut butter cup in room temp is going to be different on a hot day than if you're eating it. You're so right. Because a fridge cold Reese's peanut butter cup original where the chocolate around that sexy little skirt can kind of harden. To me, that's like one of the best candy eating experiences. And I think it would fit right inside an Oreo. So you like the Reese's more than the peanut butter. How does it, how does the Reese's stand up to the classic? It's so funny because I feel like you need, I don't even think we can compare anything to the classic.

I think the classic to me is like perfect, and we have to judge anything just against the variations. It is perfect. You know, it's like a co-it's like Coca-Cola. It's just like it's one of those perfect foods that was created. And like, you know, I'll get a cherry Coke. I'll get a whatever is a switchup. But like the original, it didn't need anything. It's perfect the way it is.

It's perfect. But like mint? I love the idea of mint. A little toothy brushy? I love mint and chocolate. Ooh, that's green. I think mint and chocolate is one of my favorite flavor combo. Oh, that's not like a toothpaste.

Is your toothpaste, like... I actually don't have super minty toothpaste. Is your toothpaste green or blue? You know what I mean? Is it green mint or is a blue mint? It's white, but the flavor I say is green mint. Ew, I hate that. I know, I was always a blue mint kid growing up.

I'm still a blue mint kid to this day. I hate, I hate like double mint wrigley. Yeah. Like, don't ever give me that. Spearmint. I'm not about. They call it, they call it spearmint. It tastes like vegetables.

This is delicious. Josh. This is wonderful. The mint Oreo is delicious. It takes me back to the Andes. Actually, I've never been to the Mountain Ridge. Yeah, I don't think they're doing mint Oreos, too in the Peruvian highlands. You can't plot in the Andes.

You're not a lot to plot in the Andes. This is delicious because whenever I was little, I used to go to the MGM Grand a lot with my parents, because they would go there once a year, twice. You're my dad love to gamble, whatever. They had these after-dinner mints at MGM Grand that were these soft pillowy butter mints. And I love those so much. And this has the same exact flavor with just that dark cocoa. And it's brilliant. This is a brilliant.

I like this more than the rist's one. I agree with that. Oh, my God. I really love the mint. It's really fun. It's a perfect mint. Man. Oreo.

Do you think it's better than a thin mint? I think so. I think the cream makes it better. But imagine if that was dipped in chocolate. Now I think that would make it even better. If this was dipped in chocolate? Yeah. If the Oreo mint, no.

Because is there a Keebler? There's like a Keebler mint fudge-dipped cookie, yes. I don't know. Is there? Oh, golden Oreas. Josh is sniffing the Golden Oreos. Wow, the fragrance of this one is unlike anything else. I found out something interesting about artificial vanilla extracts.

Is it from beaver gonads or whatever? No, the castoreum. castorium thing. No, they just kind of like figured out in a lab how to artificially create vanilla. Now, this is from a book called Eight Flavors, and I'm so sad that I forgot the author. But anyways...

Jamie can find it for you. Sarah Loman. Sarah Loman. Eight Flavors by Sarah Loman. She talks about vanilla and paraphrasing here, but the way the artificial vanilla extract is created is by just the active compound vanilla vanillin that creates that signature flavor,

but obviously vanilla is growing. all around the world are different in terms of a lot of these like... Sure. Madagascar's different than Mexican. Different than Tahitian. Tehish is my favorite. And then there's so many differences between them. But anyways, a lot of those differences, those subtle fragrances, what do they call them, not free radicals? Polyphenols.

Polyphenols. Polyphenols. What's the word for when something is not stable? It's like... Combustible. Anyways, vanilla also has different... other olfactory senses and whatever, that tend to get lost in heat. Mm-hmm.

And so artificial vanilla extract actually outperforms a lot of natural vanilla extract when you do stuff like bake a cookie with it because all of the stuff that isn't vanilla and gets baked off anyways. Very interesting. Yeah, yeah. How does a golden Oreo make you feel versus a regular Oreo? I miss the cocoa. I miss that bitterness. I don't get that bitter, no.

It's still a really nice buttery cookie, though. It is. You know what it reminds me of? Did you ever watch the Aristocats? No. Did you ever watch it, Jamie? There was a scene where there's like a little mouse that eats this gorgeous, like large wafer cookie. And the golden Oreo reminds me of that wafer cookie.

You having fun? I do. It's the Vanillaen, man. I'm not as obsess as I thought I would be. Vanillans are slapping you in the face. I think that's so good. Do you a little pinch of salt in there? You don't think it's, okay, if you had to do a head-to-head between golden Oreos and regular Oreos, where are you going?

Yeah, regular Oreo, 100%. Like, every five, I'm eating a golden Oreo, and that's fun. Have you noticed how protein is being pumped into literally everything lately? From high-protein popcorn to protein-infused coffee? Honestly, when I want to get extra protein into my diet, I don't want processed powders or sweet bars with mysterious ingredients. I want real high-quality meat. That's why I rely on Omaha steaks.

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lemon. They are cowards. Why? They should have put the lemon in the chocolate cookie. Oh. They put lemon

in a goddamn vanilla cookie. Oh. Cowards. Mm, can I smell it? Yeah. I love,

let me tell you one thing. Not as as lemony fresh as you would expect. Oh, no. It's too vanilla-in-ne. It's too vanilla-in-y.

The vanilla-nin there is masking the lemon-in in it. Cowards. Nabisco. Cowards! Make it more lemony. Oh, my God. I hate it. This is you really f***ed this.

You know what it tastes like? It tastes like grandma. What? Like it tastes like grandma. Your grandma? No. No. It sounds like this weird grandma flavor.

What's the word that I was looking for? olfaction. No. Ciliage. When something is like not bound to something. You know? Oh, just, ew. If you eat the cream in the middle, it has this bitter note that's not cocoa bitter.

It's lemon peel bitter. There's no acid. No, there is a little acid. They just, I'm getting like little crystals of like citric acid in there. Are you? Mm-hmm. Why can't I get in my cookie? It's kind of like, oh, that one like hit me in the back of the throat.

I'm not a big fan. I'm not a big fan. No. I was in a, um, when I went to, Turkey. I went to the bazaar there. And this guy's like, you want to try lemon salt? And I'm like, oh, I would love to. I thought it was like going to be like lemon pepper or something. This guy gave me a crystal of citric acid, the size of a diamond ring. He's like, try it. And I'm like, okay. And I did. And I did you not. I was choking in the middle of a bazaar in Turkey,

literally like, but I'm fine. That's good. I'm glad you recovered from it. Because you just had that experience right now. Birthday cake. Now, why they went chocolate with birthday cake? Somebody made a lemon chocolate Oreo. Someone made that, and then they shut it down. They shut the project down. Maybe they're trying to cap. Maybe they had too many golden Oreo outsides.

That is a heck of an aroma, dude. That's a heck of an aroma. Ew. Yeah, it sounds like rotten dairy. That's birthday cake extract, dude. Oh, my God, it's terrible. Yeah. Fake butter?

Fake butter? Yeah, I think it's just that. weird fake dairy extract that comes with birthday cake. I love, listen, like, give me clear vanilla extract. That's birthday cake flavor to me. Yeah. This has a deeply chemical note that is almost like three components away from rubber. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Well, I don't know how much my perfume love and knowledge would come into tasting Oreos. This tastes sweeter. Why is this weirdly bitter, too? It tastes like... Oh, my God. How's this sort of chemical bitterness to it, yeah? It's a saccharin.

nature. It's like, it's like almost so sweet that it turns into bitter. Like, like, if you've ever had, like, too much stevia in a coffee, it's so sweet that it turns, that it turns bitter and off pudding. Oh, that's fascinating. It feels like something spilled. It feels like something spilled at the factory. You know what I mean? I got in there. Like the extract factory? Right movie with Milakunis. Oh, extract, yeah. Is Jason David into that? Yes, it's so good. Um, no, like even maybe just a bit of bleach fell into the cream. Because there is something, there's something like really, really off about this. I feel like I just drank corked wine. You know, like, I'm not a mine expert, but I can't be what they wanted. Something bad happened or this got tainted by the sun.

Hey, there's red cabbage extract in there and cinnamon. Maybe that's what we're tasting. Oh, wait, they switched the red cabbage Oreo with the birthday cake Oreo. That's what happened. I told you, it says, Nicole. Get me the red cabbage Oreos. I hate when that happens. Is this an artificial, like the red cabbage extract is like no artificial food.

It's for color. There's still artificial food diet in here, but I think the red cabbage is just to, you know, this is a terrible product. Wow. You got to go back to the drawing board with that one. I am worried about the next couple that we have coming up. Have a sip of milk, you know? Just change the taste in your mouth.

Oh, I love milk so much. It's fair life milk, too. Oh, I love a fair life milk. I love all milk, man. Dark chocolate. Now, I am all about this one. It's the sexy Oreo. This has a market.

Oh, look at how dark that chocolate. Wow. I'm all about this. Wait, you know, I was supposed to be putting these up here the whole time, and I did it. Wow, that is a sleek, this is a sleekest Oreo. I don't, I typically don't like, Love, love chocolate. But if I'm eating chocolate, I want it to be, like, chocolate.

I don't want, like, little flex of chocolate and a thing. Killer. I want this to be, like, chocolate flavor. Like, there's that Jenny's ice cream flavor, death by chocolate. There's another one. It's, like, midnight? Opaque. Opaque.

Opaque. That's an ice cream flavor? It's an ice cream flavor. I was actually looking it up yesterday. It's Jenny's opaque. It has espresso fudge, and it's, like, this dark black chocolate ice cream. It literally looks like this orio. This is delicious.

I don't love adding espresso to chocolate. A lot of people say, like, the espresso makes the chocolate taste more chocolate. I'm like, no, it makes it taste like espresso. When I make a Texas sheetcake, which is my go-to chocolate cake, really? Yeah, I always add espresso powder or I just brew some hot coffee and I throw it in there. Makes it so delicious. I've never been a fan.

I'm like, to me, the amount of chocolate in this has never not been enough. The amount of chocolateiness that I can achieve with cocoa powder, especially a Dutch process, I've never been like, oh, I want this. And I've made an espresso. I think this might be because I made an espresso chocolate ice cream, like way back when, back in the pandemic. And it was just kind of like too much, and it's kind of cloying and like, yeah. It was rough.

That was a delicious cookie, though. I ain't wearing a diaper on my face. I really like this one. This is really good. This is probably, this is my second favorite. No. Is Mitt my second favorite? Oh, yeah, Josh, you know what's up.

Oh, I know what you're going to do. You're going to open it up and sandwich them together, and then I'm just going to watch and be so impressed by your ingenuity. I think the mint with the chocolate is great, but I think the mint needs to be cut a little bit. Let's see. So I'm now sandwiching the mint with the dark chocolate. Then cut it in half and then.

Yeah, you go ahead. Do you have a knife? No, you can just use your hands. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Now, that's a treat. Now, this is the best thing I've had all day.

Better than a classic. No, I got two empty ones, Jamie. Forgey. Frisbiette. Got it. You got it? One more, one more. Four.

Oh, my God. Meow! Okay, now you ready to get... Now let's sandwich the birthday cake and the lemon. I'll just do that to my enemy. Are you ready to get a little freaky in the studio late night? Oh, my God. I've been meaning to get freaky for a while.

Okay. Next up, we have something from the Twist Lick Vote group, which says, Scan your vote for your favorite flavor. This is a deep fried Oreo flavor. Now, what do you think that means? Fried dough flavored cookie and cream. Oh, no.

Is it literally just going to have like... It's going to smell like an old friar. Shoot, dude. That sucks. Times like this, I wish it were smores. You know what I mean? Surely they've had a smores Oreo. Smell.

A smoreo? Oh my gosh. The cookie tastes bad. What's going to... It tastes stale. It tastes like friar oil. It tastes like old friar oil. It's not sweet either. It's like...

That's crazy. Have you cooked a... Yeah, it's not. Have you ever cooked like a bunch of Oreo... A bunch of donuts and then looked at the residual oil? They like use that in here, I feel like. Are the cookies two different colors? I think the cookies are two different colors.

colors unless I'm tripping. This is wild. I don't know that I enjoy this. It's confusing. It's confusing time. Hold on. I'm dipping it in the milk. Girl, so confusing.

Well, I will say I think deep fried Oreos are probably the best application of deep frying things and Oreos. It's crazy how it has that oil flavor. Yeah. But do I want that in an Oreo? No way, Jose. I want it in a deep fried Oreo and want the warm Oreo and the cream oe. I don't want it in like a solid room temp cookie.

However they achieve that, they shouldn't have done that. You know what I mean? Yeah. The next one I'm also worried about. Chicken and waffles? Chicken and waffles. Why you got a problem with chicken and waffles? You're racist?

No. Actually, I will say I've never found chicken and waffles to be like a good dish. You've said that before. You're not a big chicken and waffles. I love fried chicken and I love waffles. And I'm happy to eat them together. I just never need people like, we made this syrup spicy year, or we made the hot.

sauce, sweet. So the reason I was afraid of this is because they're definitely just going to have fake maple flavor, and then they're going to have MSG. Flavored cookie and cream artificially flavored. I don't hate it. Tell what, it's salty. Oh. I just got something awful.

Black pepper and celery. Yeah, it's the celery flavor. That's tough. But that's how you make a saviour, right? That's the chicken part. That's what you wanted. Just make a salt. melted maple. That's awesome. That's not chicken waffles, that's salt and maple, you know?

Terrible. Great, great initial flavor. Terrible after taste. I have a headache. God, it tastes like Monat. Do you have a headache? I calculated. I'm eating 840 calories of Oreos. Oh, my God. Sickening. Banana pudding? Now that is what I can get down with. Artificial banana flavor. That's what the people want. It smells like gasoline, baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm huffing it. I feel like I'm high. Jamie, Jamie, Jimmy, Jimmy, yeah. I feel like I'm high. Huff this Oreo, dude.

It smells like gasoline, Sharpies, and bubble gum. Everything we've huffed in our childhood. I know. Do I like it? That's that strong. Oh, my God. It's terrible. Okay.

A lot of people... What, what do you mean? You need a bucket? That's pathetic. Oh, my God. A lot of people like to talk about the different flavors between the grow-me-shell banana and the cavendish banana. Oh, my God.

As if that explains the fact that all banana extract tastes like gasoline, that can't be it. That gives people like, well, actually, it's based off of a banana that doesn't exist anymore. No, it's that, like, we can't make extracts taste exactly like the food. That is bad Why didn't it soak up the milk? Chemicals I didn't mind it Oh you didn't like

You're okay with it How would you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 Ah like a 5 I'll give it like a 2 That's tough for me Have you ever had a banana That's like It's no banana

Laffy Taffee I'll give you that Have you ever had a banana That's not ripe yet Yeah That's what it tastes like It tastes like an unripe banana It has tannins It has a t

Ooh Josh, you wild and crazy guy. Josh is taking the recess a rio. Living young and wild and free. And the recess is a banana pudding and he's making a little mishmash. Yep. You down?

Thank you for not sharing that with me because I don't want it. No, you shouldn't have it. Thank you. I don't want that one. I don't want. Sour pouch kids? What's your problem with it?

It's gross. I don't want a sour cookie. The only sour is my cookie day. It smells sour. It should be a raisin. The only sour in my cookie should be sour cream. Christ. Yeah.

You know what it is? It's like one of Nabisco's like CEOs, like sons or daughters, like an illegitimate one, was like, if you don't make this cookie, I'm going to tell everyone that you're my dad. He's like, no, no, honey, please. And so they're like, I'll make you sour batch kids always. Okay. I won't tell anyone until I'm 18. That's what this product is.

This is a black male situation. Some executive got to keep his mistress because of these cookies. Sorry, some executive could have kept her mistress. Who knows? Women can do bad all by themselves. Can a man be a mistress? Of course. Male, there's no like...

You can't spell mistress without mystery. Like, no. There's no like gender term for mistress. It's actually master. Mistress and master? Mistress is the female term for master. But not anymore. More. Yeah, of course.

Like a master of the house and a mistress of the house. But someone's mistress, you don't call someone who's cheating on their partner. A master. No, no, not in that. I think we're using the term mistress in terms of like, these are awful. They're awful. They're awful. It's so sour. No, I don't think you'd call it that. But I wonder where we get the term mistress to me as somebody that you're having an extramarital affair with. I think we should find out.

Because mistress really is just a female master. We should find out what the term. If there is one, I would like to find out. BTS, brown sugar pancake. Yeah, oh, that's a hotoc. Hotok. Hotok. Oh, hell yeah, they're purple.

Huh. No, it doesn't explain it. Oh, it kept a woman. Yeah, but like, this is a crazy, this is a crazy cooking. Our universe, BTS Army, the biggest love, BTS Army. They all have little things on them. Our happiest, BTS Army. What?

Do you know what BTS stands for? Do you know what BTS stands for? Jamie, can you Google what BTS means? I never even thought about it. It stands for like, boy something soldiers or something, I think. Bulletproof Boy Scouts. I was so close. Bangtan Shun Yon.

Good job, Josh. Your creator is so fire. Gansamita. This is good. It's not too sweet. These are great. This is... Not too sweet.

Tell you what, this might be the best damn flavor out there. This might be the best one. Great job, great job, Jay Hope. Good job, RM. Hey, way to go, Jimmin. Good job again, RM. Well, Josh, what do we learn?

Listen, the best Oreo is the Oreo that's currently in your mouth. The worst Oreo is the 20th Oreo that's currently in your mouth. Make you feel sick. That's what I learned. What he said. Nothing beats the feeling of traveling to a new country and connecting with people in their native language. But standard study methods rarely give you the specific vocabulary you actually need.

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And of course, you would say, Anong. Gan samnida. No, Myanmar. Gansamnita. Anyways, we need to take Rosetta Stone. Visit rosettastone.com slash hot dog to redeem your 20% off. That's rosettastone.com slash hot dog. Gonsomni does, thank you, right?

And then me enhammeda is, you're welcome? I don't know, but anong means hello. Yes. God, we're basically fluent. All right, Nicole. All right, Josh. I think I have chronic inflammation from all those Oreos. It's time to find out what other wacky ideas

rattling out there in the universe. It's time for the second we call. Opinions are like casseroles. Do you need someone to rub your feet? That'd be nice. I don't feel comfortable asking anybody. When's the last time you got a massage? This past weekend.

Good for you. I know. I came back from like... And you don't like massages. No, I really do now. I really do. But it's because now I've learned to ask for what I need. Major, Josh, this is so major.

You know, where I tell them, just be soft. Be sweet. I say be sweet. I say, I don't want you to. Because here's the thing. Can we can I grandstand for a little bit? Yeah, can I put my laptop down too? Yeah, what's up?

Uh-huh, what's up? I don't. All this acupuncture, this acupressure, this chiropractor, this chiropractic, the deep tissue, all that. I don't think none of that works. Okay. I think what works is your own belief in you, Trump. to make yourself feel better. That's great.

I think you putting in the time to go to a place to take care of yourself, to put trust in another caring individual, I think that's what makes a lot of the difference. And so I've learned that when I go get a massage, I'm like always, my muscles are always sore and when they're really digging in there, like it hurts and I don't enjoy it, I just go, hey, be sweet, be sweet to me. Just be soft. I'm here for the relaxing music and I'm here to not get to move for 80 minutes. I get the 80 minute one.

Oh, good. I do too. Price per minute, it's cheaper. I get a massage a month. Really? Yes. I have a membership. I might start doing that. I have a membership.

I get a massage a month. I got my guy, and it is just, you turn your brain off, and you get rubbed down, and that's all that matters. I agree. And I get the lavender smell. Oh. I love lavender. And so I'm not there for the grind out of the muscles. I don't think that really works.

I think what works is me feeling nice. And I leave feeling nice. The only thing I can't figure out is how to stop getting my steering wheel and my car oily. I thought you were going to say something. No. No, I actually, sometimes I worry about that. I thought you're going to say something so different. No, like when you were a kid that would happen all the time, like you're just like in class and like you get called on.

And like you're not even thinking about anything. It's just, you know, your body's reactive. You know what you should do. It's not like you're, well, yeah, sometimes you date. Sometimes, you know, Katie from the soccer teams. Whenever you're done with your massage, you can. always just ask for like a wet wipe and you can just wipe your hands. Yeah, because my car is covered in grease.

After a massage? Yeah, and also yesterday I did an interview where I got covered in grease and then I just had to... You know what you should do? Sorry, we're going to get to the opinions eventually. Whenever you go to the massage, you should wear baggy, like clothes you don't care about getting screwed up. I kind of do, but it's like my car. Like I'm on like my wrist my arm on the center console car. No, just wear like a big baggy shirt or like something.

Oh, no, I can't do that. Let's get to the first opinion. Let's put on our headphones. I love being greased up. But I'll tell you what I do. Ask the masseuse for a wet nap. I'm assuming the gender of my masseur. What's, what?

I thought masseuse is non-gendered, like mistress. No, no, no. Massouz is a woman and masser is a man. Is it really? It's like a chauffeur and a chauffeuse. Are you for real? I thought this whole time I've just been calling my guy my masseuse. Oh my gosh, that voice message.

Thank you. Hi, everybody. my boss walks around the office today and put this question to a lot of us. He would just walk up to our cubicle and he said, Watergun to you head, what are you choosing? Oreos or Chips Ahoi. And that's all I got. What do you guys?

What are you choosing? Oh. It tastes like nothing you've ever had before. It's chemicals, forever chemicals pumping through the chocolate chips, and I need it. Chips a hoi chewy tastes like some that would have been developed by the Russian space program in the 1960s to keep their food from a spoiling. And I love it. Chips Loey Chewis, they're like, you eat one of those every four months and you're like, oh, that's something. I like it.

I know, they're not bad. They're not good either. A standard chips of hoi is pretty damn delicious, too. I think Oreos, to me, offers something so purely unique. To me, Oreo is, is there any pre-packaged cookie that I think could stand up to Oreo? Hydro. High draw. Like the, the fudge elves.

Like the kebler? Yeah, the kebler guys. Even them. I think Oreo's better. I think Oreos are better than any Girl Scout cookie, I think. The mother's animal crackers that are cut. covered in pink and white. Those are good.

I still take Oreos. Hold on. No, no, there's one. They're called like iced tea ring cookies. Milano's. Ice tea ring. The Nantucket. The Nantucket.

Milano's Nantuckets. No. There's like this pre-packaged iced tea ring cookie. What? That we used to get for the 99 cent store, dude. What's a T-ring cookie? It's like an iced tea ring cookie. I've never heard of a T-ring cookie.

Yeah, dude. Come on. T-ring cookie. Like a. What is this? Is this like a spritz cookie? I'm trying to find this, man. Josh, I think you made it up.

I think when you were a kid, I think when you were a kid, you made up happy memories to help combat the sad. So you made up these cookies. iced oatmeal raisin cookies. Now, these, I'm a soccer for anything oatmeal raisin.

So for me, that's the only, there are these iced oatmeal raisin cookies that used to come pre-packaged at the 99 cent store. It's the most cookie per money you could buy. Uh-huh. Those are the only things that I think beat an Oreo for me. Jips O'Hoyer simply doesn't stand a chance.

Famous, hey, famous Amos. Oh my gosh. Famous Amos. You're a famous famous guy? Oh, yeah, dude. I wish I was a famous. You know why? I think because there was a running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers named Amos Zero-A.

All right, next opinion. Oh, well then. since you're talking like this, I'm going to talk like this. No, I'm afraid of something. I really just wanted to tell you that you have to try. You absolutely have to try

taking an Oreo, but not a normal Oreo, the Oreo that has Nutella or chocolate filling. And then you have to split it open because people who eat it not split open are psychopath. And then you have to put a salt and vinegar potato chip in the middle.

Oh, that's crazy. Put it back together and eat it. It's so good. Okay, thank you. Utterly impeccable commitment to the bit. Yeah. I didn't know where it was going. Did the sultry voice add to the

demand for the Oreo for you? I didn't even know what we were listening to. I didn't even care. I just enjoyed it. I don't know. All I heard was salted for you. It's called looking like an herbal essence commercial over here.

I had no idea what was going on, but then I heard salt and vinegar chip, and then my, my heart stopped. And I had to stop listening completely. I went deaf. Chocolate Oreo, salt and vinegar chip in the middle. Ugh. Ech. Ruined the fantasy form. Great voice, fantastic voice. What's that?

There's an app called Owen. Is that what I'm called? You're primarily audio erotica? Quinn. Quinn. Why did I call it Owen? Maybe you thought it was like Welsh. Because you know Welsh, you'll see, like, it'll be like, E-Q-O-I-A-N, and you're like, equine, and they're like, it's pronounced E-N.

Yeah, maybe that's why. Wow. Yeah. Let's keep going. E-O-I-O-E-F-E, pronounced F-E. Hi, Josh and Nicole. This is Pam from Pittsburgh. I wanted to know if you guys hide snacks from your spouses.

I'm like, my husband is 6-5, and I'm, five, three. And he eats like a monster. So anytime I have like big height snacks, I want to, you know, save her for a week plus, you know, like a box of ho-ho's, I can make them last like two weeks, have one every few days. He'll destroy it in a week. So I have to like hide them somewhere in the basement or in my, or, you know, in a pantry somewhere where he can't find them. And then whenever I eat them in front of them, he's like, where did you get those? And I'm like, you don't need to know, but I'll share with him if he asks, but he's left to his own free will to destroy them all. So I wanted to know

if you guys hide snacks from your spouses and how you feel about that. Thanks, love the pod. Goodbye. Take this one? What do you do? After you. I don't think I hide. I don't hide anything for my spouse. That's so good. That's really good. Because here's the thing, I could have hid vapes. I could have, but I quit for us. Yeah. You know what I mean? I could hide, I could hide no old treats. Could have free. I could I had fruit by the feet. A lot of feet to hide, Nicole, a lot of feet, a lot of secret feet out there.

I don't do it. One, I'm not a snacker. I've never been a snacker. I'm a binger. And so if there's snacks, I binge them. I'm in the same boat, buddy. Yeah, and so I just don't feel the need to have them around. I eat a lot of fresh and dried fruit.

I ate a lot of nuts. Julia does not. She loves little treats, like coffee cakes. And what do you do? Like Entenmans. I'll tell you what, I've been just eating them with her. This is the thing that I don't know, this is for a therapist, but I don't know how to say no, and I'll come clean with it.

I feel pressured by my wife to eat little treats with her. When she's like, I'm going to eat ice cream, do you want some? If I say no, she takes it as a personal attack on her. She doesn't go out of her way to do it, but I know she does. And so I'm just, I'm there eating ice cream Sympathetically with her. Yeah. I don't even want to be eating the ice cream.

Maybe it's because. You love her so much that you want to do what she's doing. I want her to feel comfortable, you know? I think maybe that's where it says from. Yeah, and listen, I'm happy for the ice cream to slide down my throat hole. Ice cream's a good time. It seems a good time. I'm trying to think if I have to hide and eat.

No, because even like the foods that I love eat, you know, I don't know, just ripping a bunch of pecans. She don't eat pecans like that. I'm like Josh, I'm a binge eater, so if I see a snack, it has maybe a three-day shelf life in my house. There are moments where there's like some snacks that, like there's like a volatility level to some snacks, like something like a true fru can be in my freezer for like months and it won't be touched. But something like a, I don't know, like if we got like a matcha cake from Shabbat, like spoonfuls throughout the day, the next day and until it's gone. So I'm not the right person to ask. There's no hiding. There's just whoever gets to a first situation in my household. We have a jar of Nutella that's, I mean, it's seven years old. You should get rid of it. Throw it away. I try. I can't. There's more

than one trash can in your vicinity. Take it to the big one. That is what I hide for my life. You're what throwing me things? I hide throwing things away. I sometimes have to do it with David, too. They're like expired things. I have to do that too. I mean, they're deeply expired. Yeah, sometimes I do that with Dave too. But then if they're just sitting in the trash, you'd be like, why did you throw away this seven-year-old Nutella?

And then I'm like, it'll get people sick. But like for you, you have like 95% ownership of the kitchen, right? Like, the kitchen is yours. Yeah. For me, the kitchen is 99.9% mine. So I can do whatever I want in the kitchen, but other things, like I can't always throw away. She works from home, so she's there. I see.

And the other day, my brother, came over and he's like, how long of these half-drank wine bottles just been sitting on the counter? And I'm like months, years, maybe a decade. And he goes, you know they'll get people sick. And I go, I want to throw them out. Yeah. Julia won't let me. So go, someone will drink it.

And I go, that someone will dive botulism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're going to have a lawsuit. Yeah, I think I don't think you need to bring the law into it. I think you just need to be very firm with your understanding of food knowledge that maybe she might not be completely keen on and just be like, hey, you need to throw this food away. It's not a food knowledge thing, though. It's like a weird internal feeling.

But if you come at it from a food knowledge standpoint, your wife is an incredibly understanding logical person she is. That's what we love about, Julia. I think just leading with knowledge and understanding that this can get people sick, don't worry, we will buy a new one whenever we have company. It's not about that. It's not about that. You can't say buy anyone.

Can't say that. What are you talking about? Here's the thing With loved ones Sometimes you gotta hide things But like not bad things Like you can hide like a bag of Skittles But don't hide your

What's a male mistress again? People master You can't It's not a master You don't call him a master Master Says To stay in the piadatatre

You can't You can't Lie about Most things And you shouldn't hide most things Because it's inappropriate A paramal

You must hide my, I must hide my lover. Okay, but a male of a mystery. Paramore. No, they're saying like. A gendered version? It's not a lover. A boy, boy,

oh, I'm hiding my boy toy. My boy toy. But no. You can hide some snacks, but I don't think it's a big deal. As long as the snacks aren't a segue or a, what's it called? Whenever you like have something small, that turns into something big. You can't just, like, the catalyst.

A catalystic, it can't be a catalyst to you lying about big things, like lying about your, like, I don't know, your PA degree or about, like, who you went out to dinner with last night. You know somebody that lied about a PA degree? Here's the thing. You don't love someone in spite of their flaws. You love them because of their flaws. You know what I mean? And I think that's beautiful. And, you know, sometimes you're just, you made your decision.

You have to live with it. And on that note, Josh and I are going to go to separate. Hey, should we go to couples therapy with what's doctor? Orna? Oh my God, that would be so sick. You go and I go and whoever wins wins. You think that's that therapy works? I'm going to win therapy.

They decide a winner? Yeah, on the show they do. There's always like the best couple on the worst couple. What? Like in the like the public. The public opinion. The court of public opinion. Yeah, let's find out.

Dr. Orna, hit my line. Please, Dr. Orna, we need you. We need you separately. Josh needs you for his wife. I need you for my husband. I know that note. Thank you for listening to a hot dog as a sandwich. Hey, have you subscribed?

Why not? I can do that too, you know. Hey, you should, there's so much milk everywhere. Hold on. You know, talking about my wife, whom I love, she just washed these shoes. Your wife washes your shoes free? There's a ton of blood in them. Oh, are these your Hawaii coral shoes?

Yeah, I stabbed a big hole in my foot with coral in Hawaii. That's really bad. Bled for three straight days. And you never went to the doctor. Stigmata. You never went to the doctor. Stigmata. I heard you the first time.

I'm like in Christ Jesus' name. I bleed. Well, your name is Josh. Yehoshua. Jesus' name is Yeshua. Yeah. Josh has a stigmata like Jesus. What are they,

anointed in oil? I do. I am. Josh is literally greasy from his massages. Are you the second coming of Christ? At least. I literally don't have time for this. I don't have time for my coast to be the second coming of Christ.

At least. Well, on that note. Thank you so much for a time. My heart darker is a turn, which. Leave more sexy voicemails. Leave more sexy voice mails. Keep being sexy out there. Eat Oreos, and then you can get so bloated that you can do this.

Check out of it. I really am so bloated right now. You think it's from the milk and the Oreos? Yeah, it's a combination. Oh, my God. Well, it is fair life milk, not a sponsor. It ripped a couple diaries. Red Bulls turn in the milk into cheese.

And then the cheese is fermenting the Oreos. We got new episodes every once every once. We're a good podcast. You know, we're out on YouTube. We're on Netflix now, too. This podcast isn't on Netflix. No, it's not. But our other IP is, if you ever want to see our faces doing other things like cooking

or making red link gaffa, you know where to find us? You know what I remember the other day? What did you remember? If I said, I'm the cream lady, I'm the cream lady. Yeah, what about that? That was fun. Yeah, I was fun and cute back then. I made a 10-pound burrito.

We made a big-ass burrito. Hey, we should just do the podcast like this. It's so much more comfortable for my hips. Isn't it? This is nice. My hips feel so much nicer when my legs are up. Gosh, and I get to show off these Louis XIVs. What?

I look like the fucking Sun King. What? Louie the 14th. Jamie, can you look up Louis the 14th Cavs? This is important to me. Thank you. You have nice calves. Jamie, Zoom, enhance.

Does the Sun King have nice calves? Yo, look at that. You have nicer calves than Louis XIV. Yeah. You have nicer calves than the king. I will get beheaded for such language. Take that, Cardinal Richelieu, you bitch. The king will find me in direct contempt of court

and murder me for blasphemy against the Sun King. He's the reason the butter knife exists. Really? See? That's incredible. Are you high? They're all around the table of Versailles. Are you going into Diabetics? They're all around the table of Versailles. Versailles.

Everyone, they had their eyes set on Louie the 14th. Okay. And there were a bunch of knives around. You got a bunch of people's eyes set on you at dinner. You don't want there to be knives around. So Cardinal Richelieu, he looks at events. No more. Shall they be sharp knives at this dinner table, we're blunting all the knives.

That's how we got the modern butter knife. That's really interesting. Now he's set in a car, Carlinor Richelieu. man of his word. He said that was because he was disgusted at a nobleman trying to pick meat out of his teeth using the tip of a knife that we know ain't true. Thank you so much.

See you next time. Bye.