A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - We Tried Subway's First Ever Value Menu

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

Today, Josh and Nicole try Subway’s new (and first ever) value menu and are…whelmed.  Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: https://www.youtube....com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Will I see you at Subway for Meatball Monday? No, I'll be too hungover from Subway's free shot of grain liquor with your choice of six-inch deli-favorite-favorite-rate-stant-a-suff-all-day. Oh, man, I thought that was on Tuesday. Only in the Southern Hemisphere. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.
Starting point is 00:00:20 A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show. You break down the world's big. as food debates. Oh, I'm your host Josh Sher. And I'm your host, Nicole in I-eat. And today we got something very special. We're sort of
Starting point is 00:00:36 hearkening back to my senior year in high school. Who was Josh senior year? Josh senior year? Other than large. I was large. Well, tell you what. That was a big part of your personality, wasn't it? So I went, let's run through my average weights
Starting point is 00:00:49 per year of high school. I'm not going to do that, but you can go ahead. Freshman year probably run in about 275. How tall? And that's 6-2. Been the same height. all of my school I peaked in in like eighth grade Maybe I grew like a half inch or something But yeah about 275 freshman year
Starting point is 00:01:06 Big kid playing football, basketball, track and field Sophomore year, quit football, dropped 55, 60 pounds Went down to like 215, hung out there, maybe about 10 pounds heavier junior year. And then I quit all my other sports to decide that I should try and get a shot
Starting point is 00:01:22 Put in Discus throwing scholarship And I was like, quickest way to do that Got all my lifts up, up. We're squatting more, we're benching more. Like jumping? Hmm? Not even just squat, bench, deadlift, Olympic lift, and do a lot of jumping training. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:35 But mass moves mass, so I gained another 50 pounds. So from 275 down to that 215, 2.25, boom. Back up to like 265 probably. So it was big. Oh, you're still going great. And I was so strong. Oh, yes. And a lot of that was powered by $5 foot lungs.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Wow, that's beautiful. So many calories for $5. We'd go on our lunch breaks. It was one of the closest places to my high school. Somebody has a smell to it, doesn't it? It smells a little bit like if you were to base. bread in a dentist's office. Yes, it has a very sterile, um, antiseptic scent to it. It's almost chlorine and yeast. Yes, it's a chlorine and yeast smell. Is it inviting to you? No, it's really, it used to be
Starting point is 00:02:13 whenever I was younger, but now it's really off-putting to me. There's something about the smell of a subway that's a little bit sickening. Yeah, but a smell of a Jersey Mikes. Smell of a Jersey Mikes. Now that's very inviting. That actually smells like bread. It smells like bread and vinegar and garlic and... So Subway spent a lot of money trying to be more like Jersey. Jersey mics. And Jersey mics spent a lot of money making Jersey mics what Jersey mics is. Which is great. Jersey Mike's corporate, with all their franchisees, they like paid for them to renovate stores,
Starting point is 00:02:40 to put the meat slicers fresh in view of the windows and stuff like that. I do love that part of. Jersey mics is really like picking up on the legacy of what Subways sort of tried to do and then got too big to do. You know, and so now Subway is kind of trying to both return to form and offering quality, but then being in this weird recessiony, period. I have noticed that with their new value menu, it's definitely recession-esque.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Yeah. And I see that they're doing six-inch sub-s sandwiches for $4.99. Hardly a snack. And you can't even customize it either. That's crazy. Like you can. Really? I'm sure you can, but it's just like, it says in like a bunch of assets at the bottom.
Starting point is 00:03:19 I ordered these in the app. So these are actually their new protein pockets, which I'm very excited to try. These all tout 24 grams of protein each. That's only half a meal for me. Really? You want some Greek yogurt? You want to scoop? Well, I just ate half of a Chipotle bowl before this would double meat on it.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Oh, so you're good. Oh, no, I'm totally good. But I'm saying, like, for me, this is a new thing. This is a new thing that all fast food is going to have to compete with. Protein? We're talking about inflation of money. Yes. We need to talk about inflation of protein.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I've been doing this for a while. You've been protein maxing since the world. Well, yeah, but I mean mostly... Can you call it proxing? Not actually, no. That's sort of a fun neologism. But no, I've been eating a heavy protein diet, and I've been lifting pretty consistently. There was probably a three-year period between like 23 and 26 where I stopped.
Starting point is 00:04:09 And I tried to go like vegetarian. I was vegan for a while. I tried to convince myself that I don't need to lift until I bleed. And that was kind of the worst time in my life. And ever since I started listening to different music. I listen to a lot of Little Dragon. I was like, you can be a calm, normal guy. I can't.
Starting point is 00:04:26 That's not me. So I got really. Really? What? I do love Little Dragon. Rich in the Union. Got me again. Yeah, there's a lot of bells in Little Dragon music.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Yeah, not anymore, though. No, now I'm like listening to Vendad and Lifting until, I believe the point is... Is there a point where you're saying? What? Yeah, protein inflation, man. Yeah, everybody is obsessed of protein. And now everybody's on this game. You're on this game.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Remember that time when you were eating like carnivore keto or whatever? Oh, it was great. I loved it so much. Will I ever do it again? I don't know. Depends how the chemicals in my head respond to everything else. Yeah, I get that. I get that. But do you want to try a protein pocket right now? So I've been taking anti-anxiety medication.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Okay, you want to unwrap one of those sandwiches? Makes me so much less motivated to get out and go to the same. It sucks. Oh, my God, I know. I kind of miss the anxiety. Because you feel like everything's going to be okay once you, like, work out for two hours. Crazy, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Well, what are you going to do? What's in a protein pocket? So this is what the website says. you grab and go option with more than 20 grams of protein that launched earlier this year, blending real protein. What the fuck are we doing? You know what it looks like? It looks like a cochinea.
Starting point is 00:05:37 It looks like a Brazilian cochine. This is a half a bifton burrito. This looks like a cochinea. That looks like half a bad burrito because that's half a bad burrito. It looks like a cochinea. Someone on Top Chef last night made something that looked like a cochinea. Look, I'm squeezing it. So it looks like a cochine.
Starting point is 00:05:51 This is called a protein pocket? Yeah. This is a snack wrap. McDonald's had these three years. Let me finish. blending real protein hand-chop veggies and fan favorite sauces in a soft tortilla wrap. We have Baja chicken,
Starting point is 00:06:04 Peppercorn Ranch Chicken, and Italian trio. God, it's a snack wrap. Why are you so depressed about this? I'm not depressed about it. They're trying to get asses in the door, man. Give them some soft. I don't know. Protein wrap.
Starting point is 00:06:15 What's this called? Protein pocket? It's a protein pocket. I'm just going to rip. That's what my husband calls me if he hasn't seen me for a while. What the hell is this, dude? I don't know, man. It's a protein pocket.
Starting point is 00:06:29 How do you feel about the delivery mechanism? Fuck a bummer. Oh, it's a bummer. Oh, it makes you sad. Something tells me, oh, this has provolone cheese in it. Okay. They're intentionally wrapping it like this. They could just make it into a burrito, but they're intentionally just leaving this sort of unfurled.
Starting point is 00:06:46 It seems to be a nine-inch tortilla. That they're just... That's big enough to just wrap into a burrito. Yeah, it looks like they're just... Which is the most efficient shape. It's this very odd... It's almost like they're trying to do a TikTok hack. They're trying to figure out a way to fold a tortilla that has not yet been done so that they can justify calling it a new product.
Starting point is 00:07:08 I'm scared to eat this. Last person to do that, frankly, it was probably Taco Bell. Crunchap Supreme. And then El Pollo Loco ganged it to do their fully loaded cassidias. Oh, no. This is a huge bummer, right? I don't like the taste of Subway anymore. Their chicken is just, it tastes like the chicken that they put inside Campbell's soup.
Starting point is 00:07:28 What happened? I don't know. Did Subway change or did we change? Did you ever like Subway, though? I liked the convenience of Subway, and I missed the... I thought it was cool that you could, like, make your own sandwich. You know what I mean? And, like, you would sit there with your friends after school.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Oh, this one's good. Which one's that? The Italian Trio's good. Because it's just cold cuts. Sandwich together. If you want it. Go to a grocery store. Get a pre-made sandwich from a grocery store.
Starting point is 00:08:01 You know what I mean? They have the little pinwheels. It tastes like a pinwheel. It's the little pinwheels that they sell like. It tastes like a depression pinwheel. You're like a, you know, not a Super Bowl party, but maybe like a divisional round playoff party. Super Bowl party should be getting better food. Go over to a buddy's half the divisional round.
Starting point is 00:08:17 He's like, yeah, I got some pinwheels from the Ralph's. They couldn't even griddle the tortilla. They have the capability. They have the technology. It is such, God. I'm sorry this podcast started. it's so slow and sad. Oh.
Starting point is 00:08:33 But yeah, it's pretty depressing. What do we do? I'm sorry. What do we do now? This is all we have to eat? That's it. Man. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:08:44 No, I'm going to go get a BMT? No. What's this called? I think that's the Baja chicken that you're eating. And then there's also a peppercorn ranch chicken. The Baja chicken has grilled chicken, Monterey cheddar, smoky bohazha chapoli, lettuce, roma, tomatoes, and jalapinos. It smells like smoky.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Yeah, that one's a smoky one. But hey, for someone who's on the go, who's probably, you know, a corporate baddie and wants to, you know, get their protein in. This is a great option. Get a thing of planter's peanuts and keep it in the back seat of your car until you can find real food. Like, that's what I do. Do you think, do you think Subway has any more redeeming qualities to it left? Truly. Like, why, what else do they have to give us as people?
Starting point is 00:09:27 As consumers. You know what they have? Miss Vicki's chips. Do they? I think so. No, I don't think they do. What are you talking about? I'm pretty...
Starting point is 00:09:36 Is subway lays? Is subway lays? Is subway not lays? Jersey Mikes has Misfickeys. Oh my gosh. My brain... Dude, I have just... I have drunk the Kool-Aid of Jersey Mikes so much, and I have it so often that I don't even consider Subway.
Starting point is 00:09:51 I don't even remember what a subway looks like on the inside. Do they still have those silly little art pieces with, like, the onions and the water? So I'm talking about it? The silly little... The silly little onions. It's like a beautiful still life of, sorry, I almost threw up. Onions. They got the wettest paintings of onions and subways, Logan.
Starting point is 00:10:11 I'm not kidding. You wouldn't believe it. You wouldn't believe how wet these onions are in the pannings. Wet-ass onions. You wouldn't think that water could beat off an onion like that. No, you're going to a subway, holy smoke. You're not watching like a bug's life and they're like drinking the raindrops? Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Yeah, that's what's on these onions in the subway paintings. I'm looking on eBay. So you watched Bugs Life as a kid? That's the movie you watched. I think you watched it in class once. Oh, I also saw ants. Oh, you saw the off-brand version of life? I saw both, yeah. I don't know how.
Starting point is 00:10:41 They were militant in ants. Try this chicken. I don't want to. Try it, Nicole, come on. Josh, I'm so... It tastes vegan. It tastes vegan. This chicken tastes vegan. It looks like panier or hulumi cheese.
Starting point is 00:10:53 It tastes like satan. It tastes like they've pieced together gluten. There's no meat flavor. We'll get back to you. That's okay. Thank you so much. It's always been like this. It's not like they changed chicken.
Starting point is 00:11:03 We've changed as people. We've changed as people, which I think we've just learned to demand more. Look, that's beautiful. Is that it? Yeah. Honey, that's it. Telling for $200 on eBay. Put it in a bid.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Look, and bid on that. We'll use production budget. If we get a vintage subway art piece in the mythical kitchen. Can I tell you what I saw for sale recently for $1,500 bucks? And Julia would not, yeah, those are the paintings. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Was it a picture of, was it a poster of Slingblane?
Starting point is 00:11:29 No, but oh my God, if I get a sling blade blizzard? Oh, I saw one on a garage sale, and then I was going to call you and tell you that I was going to buy it for you, but it was like four years ago and I did it. Some folk pay $5 for a footlong. Some folk go to dirty mic. Oh, my God. It was a whole Carl's Jr. menu board, like drive-thru. Would it illuminate if you plugged it in? I hope. I didn't call to ask.
Starting point is 00:11:56 What would you have done with it? Put it on the ceiling above our bed, above our marital bed. Instead of a mirror. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to see us having sex. I want to see the double pineapple terriaki thick burger. God, that's so depressing. How does chicken get like this?
Starting point is 00:12:14 Surely this can't be that much cheaper to make than just like a real chicken vest. I really don't know. I really don't know. This really was a bummer. And I don't use that terminology. I don't use that word. I never use the word bummer. That's a bummer.
Starting point is 00:12:26 This is like if a zombie apocalypse happened and you were holed up in a subway. And this is like day 15, you kind of just start messing around. You're like, oh, my little start putting the salami and the tortillas. You know? How much does these cost? Gosh, let me check my app really quick and see how much I spent on these. I just figure out what's going on. How don't they fold of this tortilla?
Starting point is 00:12:47 I'm sorry, you're so disappointed. It's okay. It's like stocking. It's doubled in one part of it. This is their forest ham. That's their Italian trio. Somebody changed up the meats. The forest ham is part of the Italian trio.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Correct. It looks like they're all $6.95. So it's $7. So it's not the worst. This is $7? Is that a lot? People are paying $7 for this? Is that a lot?
Starting point is 00:13:14 Eat planter's peanuts so you can get home and eat eggs. You get a gallon of eggs. A dozen eggs is what? $5. A gallon of eggs, ladies and gentlemen. Six of those eggs. That's $2.50. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:13:29 A turkey and rice. ranch delight from Subway's $15.19. For a foot long? Subway. God damn it. What are we doing? How are people affording to live? Subway. Come on, man. You got to figure it out. I got organic porkch... Organic pork chop, 699 a pound.
Starting point is 00:13:49 This is crazy. The lean. 100 grams of protein per pound. The price of convenience has gotten so insane. You know how long I cooked for yesterday? Four hours. Six and a half. Six and a half hours I cooked. Josh, not everyone has that privilege, though.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah? Let me see your screen time. Oh. Let me see your screen time. How much time are you spending scrolling? Cook. Cook food. It's good for you.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Scrolling is bad. It makes you feel bad. It makes you feel bad. You can listen to people. Oh, I need time to relax because I'm straight. No, it stresses you out more. Listen to audiobooks. Listen to audiobooks.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Listen to audio. I listened to six hours of an audiobook yesterday. Maybe I should listen to audio books. I know so much about the history of the food network now. I'm going to listen to audio books. You know what I mean? I'm not going to scroll anymore. I'm going to listen to audiobooks. Send me good audiobooks. I want to laugh. Send me funny audiobooks. I don't laugh. Funny books. I don't laugh. Oh, I bet my tongue's so hard. Oh, my God. Look, a lot of us have tried learning another language before, but knowing a few phrases isn't the same as a real conversation, as Verdad.
Starting point is 00:14:59 That's why I'm so excited about Rosetta Stone's Safford. I've always wanted to learn Italian to travel, but generic apps just don't stick. Rosetta Stone, the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years, just launched Rosetta Stone Sapphire. A new app that combines its proven immersion method with the latest innovation in technology to help you learn faster, personalize your lessons, and have more fun along the way. Sapphire isn't one-size-fits-all. It lets you focus on what you actually want to talk about, like food or family. And that's all I want to talk about, really. They also have new chat missions to practice real-life conversations in a safe interactive setting, giving you instant feedback so learning feels like a game.
Starting point is 00:15:39 It's way more personalized and useful for real life. If you want to try to take your language skills to the next level, don't wait to try Rosetta Stone Sapphire. A Hot Dog is a sandwich listeners can get 20% off their Rosetta Stone Sapphire subscription when they sign up today. You'll get unlimited access to all 25 Rosetta Stone languages plus all the new Sapphire learning tools. Visit Rosettastone.com slash hot dog to redeem 20% off. That's Rosettastone.com slash hot dog and start learning a language for real.
Starting point is 00:16:09 I'm really disappointed in Subway right now. But hey, man, you know what? They have cute little names for their weekly specials. They have a sub of the day, $4.99 for a six-inch sub, add chips and a drink for just $2 more. It's Meatball Monday, Tuna Tuesday, sweet onion terrioki Wednesday, Turkey Thursday, Force Ham Friday,
Starting point is 00:16:32 BMT Saturday, and spicy Italian Sunday. Spicy Italian Sunday sounds like something on a TV network that I wasn't allowed to watch when I was a good. Stars. I got spicy Italian Sunday with Monica Balucci. How would you fix Subway? Because they tried. This is their new ham. I think what I would do?
Starting point is 00:16:48 Have you tried their new ham? What do you mean have I tried their new ham? Subway invented new ham. What are you talking about? They invented new ham. What's it called? Called Forest Ham. No, it's Black Forest Ham.
Starting point is 00:17:00 It's Black Forest Ham? But they're calling it just Forest Ham Friday? They like to believe that you're smart enough to know that the black is implied. Pretty good ham. It's pretty good ham. Well-seasoned ham. But that somehow doesn't save them. You want to know why the ham tastes good because it was next to the pepperoni?
Starting point is 00:17:19 The ham absorbed some of the pepperoni flavor. Josh, should we tell them an anecdote about our lives? Someone got paid for this! Guys, Josh had a Eurovision party at a bar. And I didn't know that you can't bring babies to bars. So I brought my baby to a bar. and the literal bartender was like, you can't be in here.
Starting point is 00:17:40 And I'm like, okay, no problem. We'll just step out for a second and we'll go back in. He goes in, hand to chest, and says, I'm so sorry. You're not allowed to be here with the baby you need to leave. And I realized he wasn't saying it in like a way. Like, he's like, hey, get out. He was like, hey, you are forever a changed person
Starting point is 00:17:59 and your life is different now. You and your husband have different lifestyles and you can't just bring your eight-month-old to a bar. And, you know, I learned a lot from that guy. Next time, have your Eurovision party at your house, please. See, here's the thing. It's a bar and grill. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:18:16 So I thought it was more of a grill than a bar. That's what I saw it. But then I saw the sign outside, and I'm like... You shouldn't have a grilled cheese on the menu if you don't allow babies in. She would have loved it much on a grilled cheese while everyone was doing Yeagerbombs. We were doing a lot of Yeagerbombs. I'm listening to Bulgaria, Bulgaria did win. I was in a mesh tank top.
Starting point is 00:18:34 When are you not? Far point. How do you feel out the tortilla? It's really bad. Griddle these. Take the extra 30 seconds, put it in the warmer, and pull it out. Did you ever read the Flatesas when you were there? No.
Starting point is 00:18:50 I never had a Flatiza. I always wanted to try it, though. Is it pronounced Flatiza? What else would you pronounce Flotiza? Flatica. It's not pronounced Pisa. It's not pronounced pizza. I think it's Flatiza.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Pizuki. Not bazuki, Pizuki. Not Pizuki. It's Pizu Kizza. Sounds like a slur in Italy. Oh, God. What happened?
Starting point is 00:19:18 The craziest piece of cartilage just in the middle of the goddamn process chicken. Ah, this sucks! This sucks! Subway, if you're still eating Subway, you have no respect for yourself. Subway, you have no respect for the customers that you are feeding. You have no respect for your food. employees. Anyone from a subway corporate, when is the last time you stepped foot inside one of your own stores? They're the most depressing places I've ever been. It's more depressing than walking into a
Starting point is 00:19:44 best buy and the guys working there just go, we don't have anything anymore. And you go, what the fuck do you mean you don't have anything anymore? You're a store. They go, we don't, you walk into a subway and they act like they don't know why you're there and you're like, can I get a sandwich? And they're as shocked. They're rude. They're as shocked as you are. that you're in a subway to buy a sandwich. Yeah. The largest restaurant chain in the history of the world, 35,000 locations strong, spread across the world faster than the Mongol hordes. And you have all given it.
Starting point is 00:20:15 How much money did you give Steph Curry when you could have trained people to griddle a goddamn tortilla? Josh is about to walk out of this podcast. What are we going to do? Josh, we are food professionals. Turn them into Amazon fulfillment centers? I don't know. Huh? Every subway is 35,000 of them.
Starting point is 00:20:34 What free clinics? What's your saying? What are we going to do with the 35,000 subways? Don't worry about that. I'm saying what do we do about these foods that are in front of us? This is disappointing. Just leaving the chicken and it's protein. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I don't know, man. This is really sad. Subway, think you guys need to go back to the drawing board. Figure out some stuff. They have millions of dollars. contracted to people to think about these things. Yes, they have marketing budgets up the wazoo. They have food scientists literally working hours and hours and hours
Starting point is 00:21:10 and try to create new foods out of what they have already. Slash find new vendors and inventory for new creations like this. I really think they miss the market. It's depressing. It's so funny because there are not that you need to root for any of these giant multinational corporations, but there is like a nostalgia factor. Of course there is. Wopper.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Wopper. Burger King made an incredible Super Bowl commercial where they were like, hey, I'm so, I'm so sorry. We know that we suck now, and we know exactly how because we did a huge nationwide survey, and everybody wrote in and kind of told us exactly why we suck. Like, with all the new delivery influx of business, Wopper's was getting crushed more and more. So we changed the packaging to do a box instead of a wrapping, right? Like, all this stuff. They redesigned their signature item from the ground up and then had an incredible marketing campaign. And the thing is, is the redesign actually made it better. Like the new opera tastes delicious.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Same with Domino's Pizza. Same with Domino's Pizza did the single best one. And Domino's did that on the back of a recession, too. Sure. That's why they did it. It was because they were hurting. Domino's came out with an incredible suite of $5 items as well. Domino says since past pizza.
Starting point is 00:22:22 It's like a long road. but there are other people that have not rebranded, but like straightened out their brand in ways that subway, I've just been like watching them flounder for so long. And you get into a weird place where when you have so many franchisees like that, people are just like fighting for their lives of every store to squeak by on a razor-thin margin, right? I mean, yeah. So it's hard to do big sweeping changes like that when they're like,
Starting point is 00:22:53 hey, we know how, you know, it could be somebody that franchised one store and they're using us to pay for the kids' college tuition or something. Sure. You know, hell, it could be a big-ass private equity firm who knows what all these stories are. But like most people don't have the time or patience or ability to take the risk of these big sweeping rebrands. So instead they're just like, ah, Tom Brady likes turkey. And then he also did the crypto ads. Well, to be fair, the start of the $5 foot long was from a franchisee in Florida.
Starting point is 00:23:20 He literally said in 2023, a way to boost sluggish weekend traffic was by pricing full-og sandwiches out of five, easy to remember, $5. No way. Yes. I didn't realize that. So, I mean, I think it's just a matter of people getting creative because this is not creative. This is just taking what you already have and rearranging it in a way that's pretty lazy. The thing is, I can taste the laziness of the C-suite all the way down. And it trickles down to these two guys on a podcast.
Starting point is 00:23:50 eating it and honestly not having a good time. It's disappointing. You know, I want there to be more passion and love from, I mean, do I want someone to love me? Maybe. I just want something more passionate, like something at least a little bit more thoughtful being given to people. And you know, you guys will always be remembered for the $5 foot long, they eat fresh, the Jared Fogles. Like, these are things that you're going to be remembered for. Put a little bit of extra effort into your marketing campaign, like hire that outside firm that's, you know, a little bit out of budget. Like, you guys have the money to spend on something that can be a little bit more creative, that can be a little bit more jazzy, that can be cooler.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Close 729 U.S. locations in 2025. Do you know that? I did not know that. That's really depressing. They used to, a couple years ago, they were 22,000 locations in the U.S. Now they're down to 19,000. Yeah. And Jersey Mikes is just eating them up, huh?
Starting point is 00:24:42 Jersey Nikes. Gobble, gobble, gobble. I mean, it's just a better product. I mean, the fact that they're slicing. it in front of you, it does kind of trick your mind to be like, yeah, this is more legit. But they can't just put a slicer in their stores. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:24:55 Like, that's not the fix for Subway. No, it's not. No. Maybe it's talking to your vendors and getting better product? I don't know. They need like a Mayacolpa. They need a complete re-haul. Steph Curry's not cutting it. Simone Biles, no.
Starting point is 00:25:11 We need something else. We need them to just kind of wake up and shake up their their business model. What are you trying to do now? I'm trying to think, sorry, I'm playing with the tortilla because I'm very tactile, man. Whatever that means. What are you finding inspiring right now in the sandwich world?
Starting point is 00:25:28 Gosh, I love, like, for example, Joe and the Juice had an incredible tuna sandwich where they basically whipped up tuna, whipped up avocado, literally like into mooses, spread it on some crunchy bread, put it in a little, what's it called a panini press, and that sandwich shook up the world. They really did. They have so many Joe and the juices now all over the world now because of that little tuna whipped avocado sandwich. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:25:57 It's so popular now, and it's been popular for like two years. You know what I think they need? Check this out. There was once a sandwich company. Superical influencers. They need Alex Cooper and Alex Earl to reconcile over a footlong. Squash the beef over a meatball of sandwich Monday because there's beef.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Well, legally, I don't know if they're allowed to say there's beef and the meatballs. God, I wish they made a meatball shitty burrito pocket. Oh my God, you would have... No, I could just slurp them out of there, like, testicles from a scrotum. You were going to say that. There was once, Nicole,
Starting point is 00:26:27 there was once a sandwich shop company that was so innovative that they forced Subway's hand into acquiring new equipment and even changing up the tax model. You know what's coming of their stores because every time you opted for this item at the restaurant, they had to tax you for it, whereas they didn't, the cold ones.
Starting point is 00:26:48 I'm talking about Quiznos, they brought in toasters, and they were such a threat to Subway. Subway then had to start toasting their sandwiches. But now Quiznos... But do you know why Quiznos succeeded? Because of the little rats. And Quiznos subs! Because they got cold two ass.
Starting point is 00:27:07 And quizosaps! What's the rest? They have a pepper bar. I have a pepperbird. You know, what are they called? What are they called? Ragamuffins? No, not the ragamuffins.
Starting point is 00:27:20 It called like the wingtings or something. That's a font. What are they called? Can you look up what the little, do you know what we're talking about, Logan? Not really. In Quiznos saps! I think they're called the ragamuffins.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Because they're good. Look up Quiznos subs add scary. Yeah, Qisno subs add weird little creatures. They're like little gremlins. They're called like... The ragamuffins. They're called like the wing... The wig diffs.
Starting point is 00:27:44 The wingdings is a fun. The breadwinners. The breadwinners. The dust bunnies. When I look up, subway, add scary. No, Quiznos. Quiznos! Quisnos!
Starting point is 00:27:55 No, Christmas! Jerry just came up. Yeah, Jared Fogel is the real scary creature. Oh, I see. I see. I see it. We know the subs! Good to us!
Starting point is 00:28:06 In Christmas! Sponsonge. Sponge monkeys. Sponge monkeys? They were called the sponge monkeys. The Sponge monkeys. We, I think, are ready to return to the advertising. Well, let me tell you, on TikTok...
Starting point is 00:28:21 Grimmus Shake. No, let me tell you right now, TikTok, Pine Saul. Pine Saul has a TikTok channel that is all like advertising. They're doing the same thing with nutterbutters. Josh, please put that down. It looks radioactive. It is incredible. Advertising is back, Josh.
Starting point is 00:28:38 Subway needs to advertise. I'll figure out all your sandwiches. I'll advertise. I know we just, we pooped on you a little bit, but we're here to fix you. Sometimes people need tough love, right, Josh? Yeah, it's like Gordon Ramsey yells to those children. That's how we're doing it now because we care about you, Subway. Gordon-Nazza doesn't yell up kids.
Starting point is 00:29:00 It doesn't yell at kids, no, he loves with the adults. Exactly. Subway, we care about you. Oh, God. We want people to do better. I want you to do better. I think we can do better together as a nation. Amen.
Starting point is 00:29:12 I don't know, Subway. You got to figure some stuff out Call us. We're here to help. I know it was hard to listen. But we're going to help you out. Give us a ring a ding ding. It tastes like a meeting out of a dumpster, but there's no dumpster. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Just put it down. Wow. Nicole, they've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other whack it is. We're out there in the universe. Time for a little segment we call opinions are like casseroles. How about that first opinion? Logan.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Some of those things, like cigarettes are supposed to relax, you know, that feels relaxing, but you actually know that it's just lighting your nervous system on fire. Is it? I don't know. Nicotine is a stimulant, you know. Hi. It's Ryland from Washington State. Hi, I was just calling because I'd love to get your take on the big Ube boom that's been happening.
Starting point is 00:30:17 I swear. All of a sudden, the last few months, I've been seeing Ube everywhere. And not to be that person, but like my family's Filipino-American. So we've known about Ube for like a while. And now I feel like it's basically the new matcha. I knew you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say that. I know your take.
Starting point is 00:30:36 I think the podcast is so slay. I think you're both divas. Love you. I also feel very slight. And I feel like I have a lot to say about this. But you react to strongly, please. I believe that Ube is the new macha in terms of America is, sorry, my nose is very stuffy.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Maybe I'm allergic to the subway. I don't know. What was I saying? Okay, so I think Ube is the new matcha because America's just like exploiting it and putting it in everything. It's like, ooh, new bright color to put in your food. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. And it's really crazy because Ube is a beautiful tuber that you find in Filipino cooking. And it's just being disrespected.
Starting point is 00:31:24 But you know what? that's where innovation. You know, there's like, it's like innovation happens, but sometimes people take it a little bit too far. And I think we might be in the little bit too far category where people like, you know, making frozen Ube pancakes with Boba and them and stuff like that. Like I don't eat that. I remember eating green tea ice cream, like matcha ice cream for the first time, probably 20 years ago, maybe a little bit more, maybe 25 years ago. I would have been like nine, ten years old at like a $15 lunch, all you can eat sushi buffet. And I got green tea ice cream at the end of it.
Starting point is 00:31:54 And I was like, oh my God. The little sandwich ones? No, no, no, no, no, no, they would just, like, serve it in a cup. I think it was called Onami. I think it was in a mall. They, like, one day was heavily discounted. God, it was good. You know, can tuna and the rolls kind of such.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Oh, sure. Yeah, not all of them, some of them. But anyways, I remember, ditto having Ube, you know, in Orange County probably about 20 years ago. And you, trends change so fast now that it's just people see. out a thing that hasn't been heavily hyped. And I suppose you could say exploited. Definitely with with macha. You see like, you know, an actual, like, changing of the agricultural production cycles of a thousand-year-old, at least several hundred-year-old plant.
Starting point is 00:32:42 And one that's involved in a lot of ceremonies. Data with Ube has, like, a lot of symbolism and, you know, ceremony in Filipino culture. And none of the Ube that they're even eating is, like, real Ube. Ube is a purple sweet potato. It's all weird Ube extract and purple food dye. Exactly. So it's been bastardized. You put like real Ube into a pancake.
Starting point is 00:33:01 That's wonderful. A little potato pancake situation. Yeah, but also you can't taste it that much, you know. Oh, and an Ube Lottes is a potato. Ube latte. Okay, so Ube... Machas a heavily flavored leaf. Ube is a potato.
Starting point is 00:33:13 It's a wonderful flavor. It's just not... So what's happening with Ube also is happening with Pannedan where they're just making an extract out of it and then they're just telling you to put it in cakes and stuff. That's depressing. that Filipino food is the next Korean food for 15 damn years. More than five, dude.
Starting point is 00:33:30 I got five. When did Mamcer? When I just went to, Mamcer, Mamcer, Mancer, Mancer, finding Filipino restaurant, shout out to the homemade Charles Alalia. Great times. But I remember all the think pieces of it's Filipino food is the next Korean food, is the next Japanese food, it's the next whatever, right? It's just cycling through what haven't we tried to touch
Starting point is 00:33:49 and extract any sort of meaning and culture out of, but now it's happening so much faster that you're about to see Ube rise. Then Ube Fall and then, I don't know, like corn- Thai iced tea. Thai iced tea is going to happen. People are already doing corn milk lattes. Corn milk? Oh, I love, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:34:03 I love corn. I love corn. No, I love Ube and I love Filipino food. I just had a nice little solo dinner in a glass of wine at a place called La Cita. How was it? Chad and Chase Valencia. I remember when they were just a pop-up in an incubator.
Starting point is 00:34:19 There was a culinary incubator owned by Alvin Kailon down there. You know, so like I love the Philan's a lot. Filipino food community specifically. I just had a wonderful half-chicken with rice. I went after I got my tattoo because I was in so much pain because there's so much more ink on this one than I've ever gotten that I was like I need a beer to take the edge off. And there was Lasita and just an oasis. I think there's Nicaraguan beer, got a beer, half-chicken, glass of pet-nat, had a conversation with somebody next to me who was also eating alone, got a Pavlova with Kalamunzi, which is maybe the next flavor that's about to be exploited, you know, and just had a wonderful, time. So like, I don't know, man. Trends are going to rise and fall. Ultimately, you know the staying power and the cultural importance of food in your culture. And I think that's what's important.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Hey, maybe if you're lucky, they'll do your culture next. Where are you at, Indonesians? Come on, Iraqis. What's next? What's another country? What's the, oh, oh, come on. Chad? Somalia.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Come on. Madagascar. Some Malagasy cuisine out there. Chile? Chile. Chile, it could be interesting. They're coming for you. Not a lot of Brazilian exploitation out there. Great music.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Hi, Justin Nicole. This is Pam from Pittsburgh. I love the pod. So I want to get down to it. It's not really an opinion, but it's like a thought process. So in doing a lot of research for wine and how we taste wine, I've learned that genetic females versus genetic males have a different detection of sugar levels. So, like, for example, like women tend to have a, lower threshold for tasting sweetness.
Starting point is 00:35:56 So, like, I can taste one gram of sweetness where my husband needs, like, three grams of sugar sweetness before you think something sweet. So I want to know if, like, that tracks is, like, you guys, or if you've done any, like, research, like, food testing stuff to see if that's really the case. So, yeah, that's it. Love the pod. Thanks. Bye.
Starting point is 00:36:13 There might be other factors other than just biology. I mean, kind of, like, maybe if someone's a smoker, maybe someone's taking medications, I don't know. I don't know if it's necessarily. I've never seen that anecdotally. I've never experienced that anecdotally. Like, this person tastes things sweeter because they're a guy. Yeah, I've never like seen that particular research, but I'm always so fascinated with the fact that we can never know each other's experience whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:36:42 We even talked to head to that podcast about what does water taste like, right? So much it was just like, what's the pH you're spit? And you had different pH than I did. And so it's insane something like wine where there are big. billions of dollars at stake in this industry of somebody being able to score this a 97 instead of a 94 because they tasted blackberries and Petrocor and somebody didn't. Like, it is, in my view, wine is pure fiction. Straight up, it's storytelling. But in the way that makes Sapiens by Yuval Harari, right? argues that one of the reasons people were able to come together and form society is because society is a collective fiction that we all believe in. Money is a collective fiction that we all believe in.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Somehow wine is this collective fiction that we all agree that one bottle goes with another, whereas another bottle, I drank a glass of red wine with a chicken recently, and somebody was like, red wine with chicken. It's like, if you ever drank or ate anything before, that's like saying you can only drink Coke with a taco instead of a sprite. It's stupid. It's just a drink, man. It's just a drink. And also, there are billions of people that were getting drunk on rad ceremonial inebrients that had no access to grapes. Japan. They were using ice, man.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Go rip some Baijo. Baidjo's rad, dude. Go rip some plum wine, brother. They were using clums. Go drink some pulke. Drink some tepace. You know, all these places didn't have grapes. for thousands of years.
Starting point is 00:38:20 They just let that shit for men somewhere. My short answer, frankly, I'm kind of on one day, so I'm sorry if I'm aggressive. I like, my short answer, my short answer to when you're like, well, men might taste three grams of sugar more. How does that affect?
Starting point is 00:38:33 Why, it shouldn't, because wine is a collective fiction that is utter bullshit. It's so bullshit. It's crazy. It's a fun bullshit that we all collectively agree with. It's fun, but that doesn't make it any less fake because that what you're trying to say?
Starting point is 00:38:46 You know, I just... People find meaning in it. I mean, me and you are Jewish. There's meaning in the wine, in wine for us. You know what there's not, though? What, tell me, if I can taste the notes of. Correctamundo, right? Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Like, that's the point of the wine is that you're drinking it generally with family and friends and ceremonially to remind you of something and to pay respect for something. It has nothing to do with the actual notes on your palate, you know? Then why do people agree whenever they taste like notes of green apple in a, In a, what is it? In a chardonnay. It's... It's Frederick Brochet's 2001 study,
Starting point is 00:39:26 where he just dyed white, wine, red. Oh. And had inology and viticulture students at the best wine college in the world. Wine college. Yeah, literally. I mean, in France, it's the University of...
Starting point is 00:39:38 Is it Borgoña? I don't know. Or Bordeaux. University of Bordeaux, I think. Anyways, like, literally the best wine school. He took the, you know, the senior students, and he had them taste red wine, and then taste a white wine that was dyed red,
Starting point is 00:39:50 and they just described it as a red wine. There you go. That's kind of incredible. It's one of Pierre Brasier or Frederick Bruchet. I don't know. Look up the Brochet study. That's really incredible. Yeah, it's just, and it's not to say they can't, you know, name it,
Starting point is 00:40:02 but it's like those kids at the spelling bee, you know, that you know. I love kids at spelling bee. Same. It's, it's an act of beautiful rote memorization and being able to access certain, you know, can you put it in the sentence? But, like, I just, it kills me that there. were billions of people on earth that never had access to grapes, but somehow we only treat the rotten grape juice as having all this meaning and discerning flavor notes. Sake is kind
Starting point is 00:40:31 of getting up there, but if you look at the things that sake has in common with French cuisine and Italian cuisine, the two probably most famous wine growing areas in the world, right? French and Italian wines are the most coveted. Sure. And then Japanese sake now having that same thing. Those are all the places that are also overrepresented by the Michelin Guide, because those are the places that we have just inexplicably brought up to have this mystical, cultural relationship with the things they consume, where we don't think that about Thai people or Vietnamese people. Sure. I mean, look, I'm going to go crazy.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Josh can probably taste if a wine has a little bit more sugar than I do. I'm sure he can. People have called me a supertasting. My favorite wine is green buzz balls. I don't have a favorite wine. I mean, I tell your brother that I have a favorite wine, but I don't think it's real. I kind of tell him, oh, I like Shene Blanc. He's like, oh, I remembered.
Starting point is 00:41:16 That's why I brought it. I'm like, cool. So nice. My brother once made a cab fronk in his laundry room, and I liked it. Sure. Whatever cab fronk means, is that the grapes that were used? I think so. The names of wines are from the grapes that are used.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Not always. Really? A lot of the times there are, but not always. Like 99% of the region, and I don't know if it's the grape or the region. You know, like, well, I love a... It sounds confusing. I'm so glad I don't care about it. Golly, man.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Bring back the craft beer movement. Bring back. Give me the 13% triple Belgian IPAs. Oh, deliriums. Give me that, man. I want a guy with a long beard and a trucker hat.
Starting point is 00:42:03 You know, got his GI Bill from Pendleton. Me? Opened up a craft brewery in La Jolla. Give me a $4 cocktail, mixed poorly, and I'll be good. Just put a little umbrella in it for me. I'm good. Next opinion?
Starting point is 00:42:16 All right. Logan's like, I guess. You weird depressive freaks, sure. Hello, hello. This is Lily. I'm calling not so much with an opinion, but with an inquiry. Because cabbage is already a top-tier vegetable. Hell yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Pickling things is brilliant. Hell yeah, it is. With sauerkraut, absolutely amazing. Throw it in anything. And then in high school, I discovered kimchi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I eat it practically every day. And finally, when I started dating my partner, he is Salvadoran, and I got introduced to Curtado.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Gertito! I was going to say Curtido, too, you know. I am tired of this low creep of time gradually revealing pickled cabbage dishes to me. What other pickled cabbage dishes are there so I can go consume them? Jadinar. It's so funny because you literally named the three that I think about in terms of the whole. Holy Trinity, a pickled cabbage dishes, but this is a type of fermented cabbage. This is now an inquiry for us.
Starting point is 00:43:22 You're going to look, so in Farsi, it's not Torchikalam, which is just torsci cabbage. Similar to Jardinera, it's really, really delicious. Do that. Haitian piclis. Pequoise is delicious. Oh, I love piclis. It has scotch bonnet, no? It has scotch on it, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:41 It's really delicious. What else is there? Torchic calam. Vietnamese Dai Kajua? I've never had Vietnamese fermented cabbage. Me either. I've typically had like Vietnamese like...
Starting point is 00:43:53 Any weird Balkan shit? Well, no, I mean, it's probably just sourcrow. So the interesting thing about something like sauerkraut versus kimchi and Gritito, even I don't know where Cortito comes from. But anyways, sourcrow is two ingredients, right? It's cabbage and salt. Three, if you include time. So it's cabbage and salt.
Starting point is 00:44:15 But like that's, you know, So that's a very, like, basic concept where it's kimchi, right? When you get, like, the shrimp paste and the chilies and the garlic, you know, that's a very local specific flavor. But I guess there is also white kimchi as well, which I think. I love white kimchi. No way, dude. I need, like, like, like, when it's overe fermented? Because at my Korean barbecue spot in Gardena, they give me the regular kimchi, they gave me the white kimchi,
Starting point is 00:44:43 and then they give my brother the uber fermented really, like, it's honestly bubbling in it. his mouth. It's almost a biohazard. That's how pickled it is. I don't like when it gets too sour. I love when it plays on the funk of the shrimp.
Starting point is 00:44:59 You know what I mean? But God, there's just, there's no bad fermented vegetable. But it's really cool how there was this kind of divergent evolute divergent conversion evolution. I think divergent convergent. Convergent divergent? And so the idea that something like kimchi sprung up completely independently from sourcrop, the place they're like, listen, we got a bunch
Starting point is 00:45:15 cabbages because they grow pretty easy and They're very sturdy. Forgiving. And also it's like, dead of winter now. So they're going to stop. We got to preserve it. Salt seems to stop bacteria from growing. But that end.
Starting point is 00:45:26 And then they're like, oh, this also tastes delicious, right? Because the rise of like glutamic acid from the probiotics, potentially. So yeah, I fully agree. Pretty much every culture figured out how to ferment some sort of vegetable like that. I think it's rad. I'm just looking at all the cool fermented foods that I don't know about. Vili in Finland. What is Finnish Vili?
Starting point is 00:45:49 It is. A fermented milk product with a velvety, malleable texture, various forms of yeast, give it a slightly different taste than typical yogurt. Interesting. Kahnum Chin, thin rice noodles made from rice that have been fermented for several days. Poi, really want to try Poi, which is fermented? Yeah, which is a... It's basically like a swallow. It's just a fermented swallow, which is cool.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Oh, I mean, I love Poi. I've eaten fresh Poi that was pounded in the rainwater, which was cool as hell, dude. In Hawaii? I want to do that. Dude literally just pounding poit on the side of the road, and it was raining, and he was like, yeah, this is how would... I want to do that real bad. Achada, which is unright papaya pickled with vinegar sugar and salt. Yum.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Achara, is that Filipino achara? Because acharas used, the term achar, acharas used in so many different... Mm-hmm. So cool. There's so many fermented foods I need to eat. Yeah, it's interesting and cabbage became so popular, right, as opposed to... Surty. So many other things.
Starting point is 00:46:43 But a lot of places, like, even like Torshi, right, is just made with very... different things. Torchis is like a vibe. Torchie's a vibe. What does that mean? Like you're making something a torsci. Yeah, yeah. It's like just pickle, right? Pickling, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:56 So it's like you can't pickle cabbage. Yes, you can. Torchie Kalam. Yeah, yeah. Torchie Kalam. Torchie is the action that you're doing to the Kalam, which is like in like northern Europe, like sauerkraut is the pickle. Certainly they pickle other things, right?
Starting point is 00:47:08 They're people cucumbers. But like there is a reason that like cabbage and ditto with, you know, in, you can make cucumber kimchi. There's a lot of radish kimchi, all the stuff. I love radish cabbage. But cabbage is the main event in Korea, Germany, and then, like, Curtido and something in El Salvador. Yes. Like, cabbage is just another thing you can pickle in Torchy.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Yes. Which I think is the same thing in, like, in, like, Vietnam. It's like, yeah, it's around. Pickle, do you. It holds. There's something also called Lita in Farsi. It's, um, Persian, uh, sorry, I can't speak. It's, uh, it's eggplant.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Ooh. That's, like, fermented and, like, pickled. And then you chop it up really, really fine. and it's like a scoopable Eggplant dip Okay I just may wait Check this out
Starting point is 00:47:51 Well you want to show me something Yeah I'm showing Nicole Show me A photo on my phone Hold on Nice rolls Oh is that the white sauce Should have a roll
Starting point is 00:48:01 Yeah well it's kind of a great No I kind of dibs Are those cordyceps? Maybe oyster mushrooms It's a little weird Well I made like an oyster mushroom gravy for Sorry I'm not gonna yuck your yum But look it
Starting point is 00:48:12 I made stuffed cabbage No show them the other picture Show them the other picture Well, okay, this is before it was baked, and I baked it, and it was really nice. I made like a, like a mushroom, like a mushroom onion kind of... Don't love the color, babes. Well, yeah, but that's before it baked. It looked good when I...
Starting point is 00:48:28 Yeah, do you have a picture of it baked? No, I just, I wasn't like... I was just taking them from me. I don't expect to show you, but anyways... And on that, no thing you was... No, I was not done! I was not done! It says wrap.
Starting point is 00:48:38 I know, it says rap. Wrap it up, I was going to say something. Wrap it up. I want to ferment cabbage leaves and make kimchi, but a whole... and then I want to make I want to stuff them. Do it. I'm not stopping you. That's all I wanted to say.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Now you can wrap up. Now that you set it into the universe is I mean you're going to do it? Yeah. On that note, thank you so much for time by hot dog the sandwich. We got to do episodes out for you all the time. Subscribe to our channel. You'll see more of this.
Starting point is 00:49:09 See more of this. This is great. This dichotomy? Does it tickle your pickle? The cabbage? I'll tickle. I'll tickle. You subscribe. I'll tickle your pickles
Starting point is 00:49:17 your pickles individually. I'll do it. I'll come around like Santa Claus down through their chimneys, tickling pickles pickles all the way, tickling their piqulies, as they say. If you want to be featured on opinions at Castiles, hit us up at 833 Dog Pod 1. And for more mythical kitchen, check out our other videos. Josh has a great show called Last Meals,
Starting point is 00:49:34 and let me tell you, it is a great, great viewing experience. Can't guarantee that I'll be good at it, but I'll do it. Do what? I'll come down that damn chimney. I'll come down that damn chimney and do it, and goll, you better believe it. One thing about Josh, he's going to come down that chimney. He's going to do it.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I will. He's going to come with a sack. He's going to come with a sack down your chimney. Call him Joshy Claus.

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