A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What Does Your Taco Bell Order Say About You?

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

Today, we're talking Taco Bell and discussing what your Taco Bell order says about you! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Sigmund Freud may have died 23 years before the first Taco Bell opened, but I feel like he would have had a lot to say about people who order quesaritos, if you know what I'm saying. They're phallic, folks! This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And, Nicole, today we are discussing what does your Taco Bell order say about you?

Now, let's list the most bestest phallic items at Taco Bell. First up... The cheesy roll-up. The cheesy roll-up, the cheesy roll-up. I think if there's cheese in your roll-up, you've-up the cheesy roll-up i think if there's cheese in your roll-up you gotta go to a doctor hey oh josh sorry i'm sorry oh my gosh fun day you and i are both coming back from vacation you can't see us because there's no video but we are both like three shades more orange yes i am very tan right now and i'm enjoying it very much also

it's hilarious because we do so many things together at work that we have to take vacation at the same time like not actually but actually, but it really worked out. I'm really glad that we did that, though. Oh, I am, too. Because we have stories now. We have so many stories. Oh, my God. I did not eat at any Taco Bells in Mexico, and I kind of regret it.

I wish I had a Taco Bell experience at Costa Rica. There was only one that I saw, and it was next to the airport. And I'm like, damn it. We each get 40 seconds to talk about the best thing we ate on vacation. What was the best thing you ate in Costa Rica? The best thing I ate in Costa Rica was something called Arachera, which is, I don't believe it's from Costa Rica. I think it's from Venezuela. And it was at this resort that I stayed at. And it was incredible.

And I also had really, really, really, really good ceviche. Arachera is skirt steak, right? Skirt steak and this beautiful tomato smoky sauce with these onions. And it was just mind-boggling delicious. And then I had a lot of ceviche but i had really really good ceviche at a place called don rufino's in arnold oh that's really good ceviche i believe that you're ready for me to mansplain something about arachera go ahead yeah yeah i believe a regional name for arachera or like skirt steak or it's a cut similar

is fajitas in northern mexico and that's how the term fajitas came to be no way crazy crazy crazy i had i had the best taco of my life. It was a soft shell crab taco at Manta by Chef Enrique Olvera at the Cape Hotel in Cabo which is also where I proposed marriage to Julia. Congratulations. And now I'm betrothed. Mazel tov.

Thank you, thank you. I'm so excited for you, you don't even know. Great segue back. I brought Julia to Taco Bell for the first time ever. And she was very confused. This was like several months ago ago she grew up in a town where they didn't allow fast food restaurants oh yeah that's how beverly hills was yeah yeah i get it the nice towns we don't want this garbage here yeah yeah i get it and i was the opposite where i grew up around like eight taco bells my life was triangulated by taco bells and that's the way i want to live nice nice okay um but this is a great segue because I had to introduce her to Taco Bell for the first time

using her taste to try and psychoanalyze her and figure out what she would want. Okay, nice. And so I just went simple quesadilla. It was a chicken quesadilla. Nice. Because I think that shows Taco Bell's strengths because I know Julia loves quesadillas. It was a big way that we bonded. We would like go out drinking and I would come home and make her a delightful shrimp

quesadilla or something. And she loves mayonnaise sauces. Taco Bell has a good mayonnaise sauce in their quesadilla. And she didn't like it. But that was only because like sometimes you get a quesadilla. Why do you think? Did she like chicken? She does.

I think she would like a good Taco Bell quesadilla. Is she a chicken eater? Okay. But the problem was we went to one of the Taco Bells where, you know, it's like it's not the A-team that they send to conventions. Oh, what time did you go? It was like 3 p.m. on a Sunday. It was during the thick of COVID, too. Oh.

Drive-thru, you know. Oh, no. And one of those quesadillas you get and like the sauce is kind of smeared on the inside of the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't really folded. Cheese wasn't really melted. Oh. But that said, I think there's a lot we can glean from somebody's personality based on

their Taco Bell order. I think that's brilliant. I agree a million percent. Do you want to know what I'm all about in my Taco Bell order? I sure do. Let me lie down on the couch and I'm going to psychoanalyze you. Maggie, where's the couch? Why do we not have a couch in here? I want to record this podcast horizontal.

What am I doing? Okay. So, this is my goat. I wrote it down because there's honestly like a lot that I have to like get out in this session. Okay. So my go-to- I already know you're needy just from that. Go ahead. So my go-to order always, always, always has been a cheesy gordita crunch and a chicken quesadilla without fail. Those are the two things I always get. But if I'm really starving, I add a soft potato taco, add creamy jalapeno sauce to it, or I add a beefy five-layer burrito grilled. Now, now, now. Wait, you order the beefy five-layer grilled?

Yeah. Oh, that's smart. Oh, thank you. Oh my God. Thank you. Okay, wait, run that back one more time. Run that back one more time. From the beginning?

From the beginning. Okay. My fail-safe order always is cheesy time. Okay. Run that back one more time. From the beginning? From the beginning. Okay. My fail safe order always is cheesy gordita crunch with a chicken quesadilla. Those are my two always orders. And then if I'm very, very hungry, I will add a soft potato taco, add creamy jalapeno sauce. Or if I'm really, really, really hungry, I get a beefy five layer burrito grilled. Okay.

Okay. So the cheesy gordita crunch. Yes. That was actually a menu item. It was introduced as like actually a menu item it was introduced as like a special menu item what they do is they take the gordita which is it's like pita bread though yeah yeah it's like a leavened soft pita bread they add their three cheese blend and they wrap that around a crunchy taco and then there's beef their little delicious delightful

tex-mex ragu beef slot and then uh god is it it used to be a different sauce, but I think now it's Spicy Ranch, maybe? I don't know what the sauce is. It's one of their creamy white manises. It's a creamy white sauce, and it's delicious. It has a little bit of spice to it, yeah. And then lettuce and cheese, and that's it. That got taken off the official menu and was only a secret menu item for, like, years. No way.

And I feel like you still ordered it when it was off the menu. Maybe. Can I tell you something? I don't order Taco Bell that much but when i do i go ham you know what i mean it's like it's like an experience i get like 18 sauces i get too many napkins i get two cups of water because i don't like soda with my taco bell what yeah i don't like soda with my taco bell but they'd like just diet baja blast it mutes the flavors it really doesn't do it for me but yeah i have more oh my god keep going about my um my

preferences depending on my mood i can also get the drink you wrote an essay yeah no i wrote this down because i really want listen taco bell is important to me but i don't enjoy it as much as i should i feel like i missed out by not enjoying it as much so i tried to do my research to the best of my abilities and because i was out of the country i couldn't really do any like testing i really wanted to do like some beta testing and like use a company card and like go, but I didn't. That's just smart business.

But I didn't. So I really tried to like deep, dive deep into like what I like and what I don't like. So since we know my basic order and like if I'm really hungry, but depending on my mood, I can also get a Doritos Locos Taco Supreme, sub the beans for meat.

I mean, sub the meat for beans. Yeah. Indra, do you just prefer the beans and the taco to the meat? In this case with the Doritos Locos Taco, yes, I do. meat. I mean, sub the meat for beans. Yeah. Indra, do you just prefer the beans in the taco to the meat? In this case, with the Doritos Locos taco, yes, I do. Okay. I do. And then I have, what did I write?

Oh, the Beefy Melt Burrito. Do you know that one? I love the Beefy Melt Burrito with the little like nubbins of fish. The Beefy Melt Burrito. Does that have the rice in it? I don't know if it has rice in it, but it has the little squigglies, the little crispy squigglies. Oh, the crispy red. Yeah.

Crispy red strips is what they officially call them. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which kind of soaks it up like chilaquiles inside there. Do you like the, have you has the little squigglies, the little crispy squigglies. Oh, the crispy red, the crispy red strips is what they officially call them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which kind of soaks it up like chilaquiles. Do you like the, have you had the Fritos one? Yes. Okay. I like this one more than the Fritos one. Interesting. I like the Fritos. I think Fritos work well as an addition to a Taco Bell menu item because they're so sturdy and filled with toasted corn flavor. That's a good point. But I don't think they've had that on the menu for a while. Yeah. I haven't had it in a long time, but I remember having it it but i prefer the red crispy strips but those are two things that i have to eat immediately like in the car like those are two things i have to eat immediately or else it's a no-go it needs to be enjoyed in the car no such i can't drive home and eat it

no i fully believe that there there has to be an order to which you eat your taco bell agree right yes because you have to go things that will retain the most heat first. Yes. Or sorry, the things that retain the most heat last or things that are going to get soggy eventually. If you let a Doritos Locos Taco sit for more than five minutes, it sticks to the little shell thing in there. Yeah, of course.

It's not fun. And it'll pry off. Yeah, it's not fun. What your whole Taco Bell oeuvre, Nicole, says to me is that- Oeuvre? Oeuvre. Is that like a song? Is that like an opera reference?

No, I think an oeuvre is like you're kind of... I didn't use the term properly. Sometimes I just say things that don't actually make sense. An oeuvre is like... I think your oeuvre is like your total body of work, right? Oh, okay, got it. Yeah, yeah. And I think you're talking about oeuvre.

I'm just going to say it at this point. One, cheesy gordita crunch shows that you are somewhat in the know, right? You're specific and in the know. That's right. It's important to you to be able to be like on that trend. even when it was gone from the official menu boards you still ordered it you kept trucking now it's now it's back there so you're in the know and then what was the second chicken quesadilla chicken quesadilla that means you like to hedge your bets i just no i just like no no no i am the psychologist i'm the therapist you know you think you know yourself better than

me wait till i'm the psychologist. You're going to love it. Okay. To me, that shows that you like to hedge your bets, right? Okay. What do you mean by that? Because you'll get some of the more exotic menu items, right? You're adding the creamy jalapeno sauce to the potato soft tacos, some more off the beaten path items, the cheesy or beta crunch. It wasn't even on the menu for years.

Okay. Chicken quesadilla, it's been around for forever. You know that even if one of the things that you tried to order might disappoint, even if the crunchy red strips are soft, you still have that rock to go back to. So true. I know. Yes. You're a Gemini, right? Yes.

Yeah. So, I mean, that totally makes sense. You're bringing both energies. And then the soft potato taco, that means you're not afraid of criticism, right? You know what? Actually, let me tell you. It's like deeply rooted in like growing up as a Jewish kid in Beverly Hills. Oh, because no beef and cheese.

Yeah. Interesting. That was like my like... Explain your religious traumas to me, Nicole. That's it. You just... Do you have to mikvah after Taco Bell? I'm scared Jewish joke. That's a good one. Gonna say that to my rabbi later.

No, it's like you could never get the meat there, so you'd always get either potatoes or beans. That makes sense. The no beef sub beans, my best friend, Deep Nayak, shout out to best friend Deep. He didn't grow up eating meat, and so he would always do no beef sub beans. And I started doing that in solidarity, and it like does not change much. I know. That's the crazy thing. The texture is almost exactly the same.

You don't have to chew their beef. It's the same. I have one question. Black beans or refried beans like Taco Bell. You don't have to chew their beef. It's the same. I have one question. Black beans or refried beans from Taco Bell? Oh, refried beans exclusively. Me too. The black beans are a newfangled item. They only brought that in.

There was a period where Taco Bell was trying to kind of compete with Chipotle. Yeah. Didn't they have like this fiesta menu or something where they had a lady like, I lost 50 pounds eating Taco Bell or something? Well, no. They had chef. Cantina? they had a lady like i lost 50 pounds eating taco bell or something well no they had um the cantina menu was preceded by a special different menu it might even call the fiesta

menu but it was with a celebrity chef lorena garcia i remember yeah yeah yeah and they like had this female mexican celebrity chef being like eat our new power bowl whatever yeah and they had black beans and corn in it which to me was a direct shot at Chipotle. For sure. And that didn't really work out, but they kept the black beans on the menu. But to me, though, like the flavor profile, it's the powdered beans that are rehydrated in water. I love them so much. No one loves soupy beans more than me.

Yeah. And like the mouthfeel, beans in the Crunchwrap Supreme to me, it's such, it's maybe a more pleasing mouthfeel than the beef. Is this a segue into your order? Well, I don't know. I don't know. Let's stick to you. Let's stick't know. Let's stick to you. Let's stick to you.

Let's stick to you. Then you got the beefy five-layer burrito grilled. Yes, I like the grill. You're not afraid to indulge. You are not only you're not afraid to indulge, you're somebody who indulgence is very important to you. Yes, very hedonistic sometimes. You just got back from a week in Costa Rica,

just slamming lobster. More like 10 days. 10 days. Oh, so jealous. Dude, I ate so much buffet shrimp for breakfast. Yeah, I had a lot of good food. Also a lot of bad food. No, same here, same here.

Yeah, yeah. They do not go to the sushi restaurant at an all-you-can-eat resort in Cabo. Oh, I had some. Nothing against Mexican sushi. It's generally good. I had great sushi in Costa Rica. Fantastic sushi.

Jealous, jealous, jealous. Very good sushi in Costa Rica. And the fact that you get that beefy filet grilled, Nicole, that means that you're not afraid to ask for what you want. So on the one hand, you know what you want. You're in the know. You've studied it. You have it backed up with research, right? Two, you're not afraid to go for what you want.

You're not afraid what people will think if you do go for what you want. But then three, you also like to hedge your bets because even if you go for what you want, you shoot for the stars. You need to have a backup plan. You need to know that chicken quesadilla is going to be there for you and just be like a delightful, starchy, cheesy, meaty meal. Great. What if like this is one of those situations where you say this to everybody? No, I don't think so. Is this curated for me?

Maggie, what's your favorite taco item? No, no, Maggie, we'll tell them. Okay, it's two beef chalupa supreme, one beef crunchy taco, and you eat a chalupa, Megan, we'll tell them. Okay, it's two beef chalupa supremes, one beef crunchy taco, and you eat a chalupa crunchy taco chalupa. Two beef chalupa supremes

and a crunchy taco, you eat a chalupa taco chalupa? Yeah. That means that Maggie's stuck in 2002. Maggie, you gotta, come on.

You're so rude. No, no, hold on. No, no, no. You're so rude to the girl. Maggie, I want you to be better. Maggie, because that was my order in fifth

grade when I used to spend. I'm dead serious. It's a combo on the menu. It's two chalupas. It's almost a number six, according to Maggie. She told me this. Oh, yeah, yeah. No soda.

I feel unhealthy. Yeah. See? No soda. Maggie's afraid to indulge and she loves Avril Lavigne. Correct? Yeah. See?

No, no. It's a different psychoanalysis. Also, though, the chalupas hit, though. You eat a chalupa supreme for the first time and not have in one a while yeah i like chalupas i just don't like the chicken chalupa no not a chicken chalupa girl and you say beef taco bell's chicken so i worked for this catering company in college that like shared a commissary kitchen with a taco bell because it's all run through ucla not taco bell corporate oh great yeah and so we would make like buffalo chicken sandwiches at this catering company but for for whatever reason, we would use the giant sacks of Taco Bell chicken.

Oh. Which just came like frozen, cut into strips, grill marked, pre-cooked. And there's such a unique like citric acid burnt flavor to it, you know? And so for me, like there's something about Taco Bell's grilled chicken that like I can't stomach after working that catering kitchen. Yeah. Just eating. I mean, I would eat like a pound of this when it was leftover. We weren't supposed to take leftovers, but I would just, you know, put it in a gallon

Ziploc bag. That's really funny. And take it to practice and eat it. Very funny. So I don't really get down with that. Tell us what you get down with at Taco Bell. Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay.

So I've had some evolutions over the past, but there are some things that will remain the same. To me, the Crunchwrap Supreme is the greatest menu item to ever come out of Taco Bell. And then number two is the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Okay, correct. So I will go Cheesy Gordita Crunch, sub-fiery Doritos Locos Tacos.

They recently took them off the menu. But now, God, they have the Cool Ranch Flamin' Hot. Do you like that one? I like the Cool Ranch Doritos. I haven't had the Cool Ranch Flamin' Hot Doritos I really love. I haven't had it in the Taco Bell. I've had it. Is it good? It's aight. It's aight? It's not as good as the fiery

one. Yeah. But I like that flavor punch. If I have the ability to upgrade from a normal crunchy taco shell to anything dusted in chip powder, I will do that. punch if I have the ability to upgrade from a normal crunchy taco shell to anything dusted in chip powder I will do that and then I also add tomatoes to it oh cool

you don't add you don't supreme it you just add the tomatoes well it's cause it's already halfway to supreme cause you got the creamy sauce on it

sure supreme is just sour cream and tomatoes yes correct and so it's already halfway there who judged that who was like

okay supreme equals these two things yeah who was that who did that oh uh glen bell i don't even know when supreme came onto the taco bell menu item it's just so whack like those are the

two things that make something supreme what about some cilantro i don't does taco bell have i think cilantro only exists in one place at taco bell and that's in their little cup of like salsa oh yeah that's like if you took a jar of paste picante sauce and drained it and then popped it in a little condiment cup. And so I'll get that cheesy gordita crunch with the sub of Doritos Locos. Okay. And then I always get a Crunchwrap Supreme and there's a couple variations. Sometimes I'll do no beef sub beans.

Okay. Sometimes I'll add a pickle to jalapenos. Sometimes I'll go beef, add potato, add jalapeno sauce. Oh, oh, oh, okay. But I like to just make that like to me that is that's the meat right that's the main course and then everything else is ephemera okay do you believe in getting any sort of dessert or is your baja blaster dessert uh no okay so when they had the caramel apple empanada that to me was the greatest fast food pie not from jollybee because jollybee's pies

are really great shout out to the mango peach. Really good. But no, I will get cinnamon twists like maybe like once every five times, but I'd rather just have more savory food. I hate cinnamon twists. You hate cinnamon twists? They're so good. They taste like packing peanuts. Yeah, I love it, dude.

No way. Give me the packing peanuts. I like the Cinnabon Delights. Oh, the Cinnabon Delights. They're just a little heavy to end a meal. It's a light and bright. Oh, yeah? It's a light, bright snack to end the meal uh but then my other thing

at taco bell is i am beholden to getting whatever new menu item they have you're that kind of guy i'm that kind of because i think a lot of people they have a lot of people look to fast food for consistency right sure that's what i do yeah that like nostalgia that consistency they want the same thing every time they go and for me I look to fast food for innovation okay usually come up when I took Julia there

for the first time and got her that chicken quesadilla they also had the human centipede chalupa oh do you know what I'm talking about of course I do the one

the three that are attached to each other it's three mini chalupas that are like lightly attached to the hinge I never had it and you're supposed to like tear and share

this triple it was called the triple lupa. And it was just three chalupas, human centipede. Oh, my God. Oh, Maggie typed in human centipede chalupa. Oh, God. There's some upsetting illustrations, but it's true. How is this not censored on the work laptop?

But it was like a monkey bread chalupa. That's so gross. And it was not good. That does not look good. Much rather have. I mean, when the queso lupa came out, that was something that I had to try anytime. And the naked chicken taco. Did you like that?

I love that, actually. If that was on the menu, I'd get the naked chicken taco every single time. What about the, what was their answer to like the Popeye's chicken sandwich, that little foldy? Oh, yeah. It was called the chicken sandwich taco, which I thought was a perfectly fine attempt. I just didn't think it had. There was never a reason for me to order it again. True, true, true, true.

Right? And so those are my core menu items, right? I get the two that I know I'm going to love. Very occasionally, if I want comfort, I'll get like a steak quesadilla. You like the steak there. I do. I do not like the steak there. I do like the steak.

They made a change from grilled steak to like a weird braised steak. And it was a little bit more easy to chew. And that made me love it okay but typically i stick with beef because i think the beef is the single best tasting thing at taco it is so well it's really delicious it's probably not good in large increments yeah but i don't care no i mean yeah and then uh double decker taco used to be a main steak i almost think actually no here's the thing before the um before the cheesy the cheesy gordita crunch came back to the menu, I switched to double-decker taco supreme with the Doritos Locos in it. And to me, that was a better item than the cheesy gordita crunch.

Like the textures made more sense to you. There was like a less, there was a less obtrusive outer layer because you got the flour tortilla instead of the gordita shell which is like thicker uh and so you got that it's just you know held everything together the the beans instead of the cheese in between the layers gave you that nice mouthfeel the little bit of crunch on that crunchy taco shell that little pop of acid from the doritos and then just a rush of liquid soupy beef and sour cream and a half packet of fire sauce in every bite god dang i'm all worked up oh yeah what's your favorite sauce are you hot diablo what are you what are you doing it's always fire it's always been fire fire has the perfect balance of tomato paste corn syrup and pure capsaicin

and i absolutely love it it's ridiculous remember when we got the bottles yeah we got the bottles i still have a bottle at my home nice that it does not taste right on homemade food. I know. And then good hot sauce doesn't taste right on Taco Bell. That's so true. That's why I like to eat it in my car. Because I got everything there. You know what I mean? If I go home, I'm going to want to put some tapatio or some habanero stuff on it.

And it's just going to ruin my experience. Everything you need is within yourself and also your car. I always like the day after. I'm like, oh, is that a piece of lettuce? Is that a lonely string of cheese? What are you doing there? And then I get the biggest diet Baja Blast they have because healthy.

And I think that's appropriate. What do you think it says about me? What do I think it says about you? I think you're a man that knows what he wants. I'm going to be very simple in my psychoanalysis because I don't like have the, what is it called? The emotional wherewithal to do that for you. But I think you know what you want and you're going to do whatever you want to go get it. And if you don't like something, you will change the course of everyone

else's actions around you to make it happen. Interesting. So you think that if I am seeking change, I don't seek it necessarily within myself, but I seek it from others. And so I will try and manipulate them to make me feel a different way about myself. Yeah. Indra, what do you think it says about me? Does that make me a monster? I feel like it makes me a monster. I know because I think you have a lot of people's best interests in mind, especially the people that are working at Taco Bell. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that sounds— You're not trying to make life hard for them. No. You're just saying, these are my preferences and this is what I want, and you're going to make it happen because it's within your limitations, correct? You're saying—of course. You're saying there's like a case for positive narcissism. Yeah. Yeah, like a narcissist with a heart of gold.

Yeah. Who just wants the appropriate sauce on the appropriate item. Do you ever, oh, here's another question before I really dive in. Do you ever send your order back at Taco Bell? Never. I have never sent my order back. And I think that is that is a social contract that you make when you order fast food is that you are not sending anything

back never ever i will i i used to even be more skittish about ordering complicated things but now that taco bell has the app and you just like click click click i i feel fully comfortable doing that i even once like apologized to a taco bell um restaurant manager when i had to order something really specific for the show and he was like dude care. It's just tomatoes come up on the thing. We splashed some tomatoes in there. Like it's, I just want you to have the food that you want. Yeah. And so I'll do that. But with the caveat that if anything is screwed up, that's your fault for making it difficult and you just eat it. Also, it's going to taste mostly the same. So like, yeah. The one thing about Taco Bell is like, if you blindfolded me,

I would probably think everything tastes almost exactly the same. Yeah. And that's a good thing. Well, so do you think that illusion of control is important to you, though? Right. Like you wouldn't know if I don't use the app. I just go to the drive through saying all this in person. Of course. Oh, my God. You monster. What do you mean? Oh, you want people in the face? I want you to grill my burrito.

Of course. I'm just kidding. I don't feel any type of way. Are you kidding me? With the way that technology is going, people need to know. You just crave interaction. Yeah, of course I do. Why do you think I work here?

Why do you think I like coming into work Monday through Friday instead of sitting at home? Honestly, I agree with that. I lose my mind. I agree. I would eat so much more Taco Bell if I was at home. I just have it delivered to my house. No, I don't use the app. I speak to humans and they're great. And everyone who has worked at Taco Bell has been nothing but kind. They're actually very friendly at Taco Bell.

Oh, yeah. That's actually the one that we go to around here. Yeah. Yeah. We had a great Taco Bell. I feel very blessed to have that. Yeah. Have you ever been to Taco Bell and then you're like, oh my God, is it a drive-thru? And then it's not. And then you just want to cry. Oh, I never use the drive-thru. No, I never drive-thru? And then it's not. And then you just want to cry. Oh, I never use a drive-thru. No, I never drive-thru fast food. That's the thing about me is I never drive-thru.

I always eat inside. Inside of a restaurant. Yeah, because that way I can refill my already 42-ounce Diet Mountain Dew that I fill to the top of the cup, Nicole. I fill the cup to the top with ice. So it's extra cold. So you get three refills. You sit at a Taco Bell and eat at a Taco Bell. Yes. And I will say that I am the only person to do that in the year of our Lord 2022, because

I have not been in a Taco Bell with another person that wasn't part of my party, which is to say Julia and my grandmother are the last two people I took to Taco Bell. Julia was on like a road trip up to wine country and I stopped at Taco Bell. Oh my gosh. Off of the Los Virgines. Los Virgines. Yeah, there's a great Taco Bell off there.

It's very funny. Yeah, then my grandma and there was nobody eating in there. And my grandma was just like, why the hell isn't anybody here? And I was like, granny, things have changed. It's Taco Bell. Yeah.

Granny, it's Taco Bell. Taco Bell ain't as bumping as it was in 1984. I know. Good times. All right. So what items do you think you would have like the most strong

psychological reaction to if somebody ordered? Like what's an order that would really get you to like Nachos! Like if somebody just added like the plain chips and cheese.

If someone gets I don't know no even Nachos Bel Grande just like nachos. It's weird. Why would you get nachos from Taco Bell? Yeah, what's your end game? Yeah, I don't get it. Or are you trying to like entice? Yeah.

Hey, would you like to share my nachos? That's weird. Or like a Power Bowl? Who's getting a Power Bowl? The Power Bowl is the official menu item of I didn't want to be here, but I am against my will. And that's fine. I've actually ordered a power bowl because like

someone proposed Taco Bell and I was like I don't really want to eat my normal Taco Bell order right now yeah uh and so I got a power bowl because it's it's just a nice healthy little you like it no it's not it's not like good I'd rather just go to El Pollo Loco yeah sure but like you know I don't want to drag my friend to a place they didn't want they obviously wanted Taco Bell enough to drag me there so that's the official menu item of like, I am here against my will. What about you? A normal, a normal crunchy taco. Worse, worse, worse than that is a normal soft taco and almost as bad is a normal bean burrito. If somebody orders any of those three things, I'm like, you are so afraid to grab life by the horns yeah you are so afraid to reach a pinnacle of happiness that it keeps you depressed at this level but that's on me that's not on

people that's my reaction yeah that is your reaction if they enjoy that and if it brings them you know a sense of comfort and joy who are we to say that they suck suck. Yeah. No, but I am here, Nicole, in my ivory tower of culture in Burbank, California. No, okay. So Taco Bell put out a list of their highest selling menu items. 2016 was the last year of data I could gather. Okay. But that's still probably pretty damn accurate. And the top three best selling menu items were crunchy taco, followed by soft taco,

followed by bean burrito okay so you just don't you just you just want to be different you just want to be unique and don't judge you don't need that in life you don't need to always be the unique one you don't need to be the one always on the cutting edge normal is honestly really good but i i know i know the normal is good there's there's a there's wisdom in masses and the future belongs to crowds. Don DeLillo said that, Nicole. Who is that? Oh, great American novelist. Wrote a fantastic book called Mao Tu.

But the point is, like, I am, I understand that I'm in the wrong, but I think there is still some objectivity to like Taco Bell has spent years developing these complex sauces, sourcing spices around the world, Nicole, probably. I don't know. I don't know. They say that in their literature. Okay. And then for people just not use those, you know, and I don't even think they've tried it, Nicole, probably. I don't know. They say that in their literature. And then for people to just not use those,

you know, and I don't even think they've tried it, Nicole. Do you think people who are ordering a normal crunchy taco have like gone to the mountaintop and tried the Flamin' Hot Doritos Locos Taco Supreme with added potatoes? Possibly, but it's not for me to say. It's not for me to judge them based on that. I just want, I want, that's like one of the things

that I believe is that people should try and get the most out of food, have the most interesting experiences. Right. But you can lead a horse to Doritos Locos Taco, but it won't drink it. You know what I mean? No, no. I feel that. I feel that. And then number four is the Doritos Locos Taco, which makes sense. That was a big menu item for them. That was huge. But the ones that aren't on there are the things that I think of as Taco Bell mainstays, like the Cheesy Redita Crunch, like the Beefy Five Layer Burrito. The Crunchwrap Supreme is not in their top five best menu items.

That's ridiculous. It is. That makes no sense to me. But this puts a lot of things into context when you think about the items that Taco Bell has killed, right? The Mexican pizza. R.I.P. R.I.P.

R.I.P. It was a great menu item but like i don't think i'd ordered one in like five years or i'd probably ordered one to go like hey remember what that tastes like but you know it's like when your favorite when your quote-unquote favorite restaurant closes and you're like oh man r.i.p that restaurant someone goes oh cool when's the last time you went yeah and you're like yeah it was nine months ago and you know so it's like how much did people really love that did it with the cheesy fiesta potatoes yeah I like the cheesy

fiesta potatoes though I like them too they went away but aren't they back they're like back right I think that yeah well they brought potatoes back

I don't know if they have them as official menu item anymore could you like order a cheesy fiesta potato like secretly you definitely could I mean that's the thing

is now Taco Bell is going Taco Bell is going pure anarchy on their menu I love it I do too Taco we are in a great restructuring in fast food history when everything is just run through the app.

It's all just automated and you just like click what things you want. And so now it's like whatever is actually on the menu board doesn't reflect the possibility of what you can order. So true. McDonald's just introduced this whole Lane C and Air Burger where you get a Filet-O-Fish stacked on a Big Mac stacked on a McChicken. It's the hacks menu. It's the hacks menu. And you have to do it all yourself. They just give it to you. Oh, do you have to do it all or do you get to do it all yourself? Right? There's freedom

too and freedom from Nicole and which side are we living in? That is a lol. That was funny. That was a big lol. Is there anybody in your life that you think has a really inspiring Taco Bell order? I eat Taco Bell by myself. You do. You don't think it's something that you can share?

Taco Bell is not a social thing for me. Interesting. But does that kind of inspire shame in you? Do you think it's like eating Ortolan? You cover your head in shame so God cannot see you, Nicole. You are covered by your car's rooftop. No, it's more like I just want to do it by myself. I just want to do it by myself.

It's not like a shame thing. It's like I just want to do it by myself i just want to do it it's not like a shame thing it's like i just i don't want to like eat a taco bell with everyone around me i feel i've i've had some great taco bell memories with groups with me and deep after we had a double double header in uh high school basketball jv team chubuco hills go mustangs uh yeah no one cares any whom uh we went to the taco bell across the street and we ate a combined $50 worth of Taco Bell. That's crazy. How do you spend $50 at Taco Bell?

Oh, you just, the sheer will to just consume soupy beef, uh, in being teen boys. I mean, we were 16 and I mean, we had really like the air conditioning in the gym was broken. We had played like two hours of basketball, literally just was ringing out my jersey. I could have filled a whole 42 yeah 42 mountain dew cup with it uh and then you know we were so starving that we just went to talk about drop 50 uh and we ordered the most insane out there menu items right like we were getting all the new stuff we had a bunch of uh the taco bell by my high school had all of the new promo items that That's so cool. That's honestly one of the coolest things ever. Yeah.

Like telling people you were there is like really cool. Oh, my God. Oh, I was there for the first Crunchwrap Supreme, Nicole. I have been to the gates of Alderaan and seen stars melt in the rain. Whatever the Blade Runner reference is. I thought I knew it. Alderaan? Alderaan's a Star Wars thing, huh?

Star Wars is Blade Runner. They're in the same universe. Yeah, no, they are. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I think that to be true. Harrison Ford is is obi-wan no no uh ben kingsley no he played gandhi in the biopic it was it was ben kingsley no ben uncle ben not not the race i'm talking uncle ben is what they call him in star wars that was played by sir alec guinness no sir alec guinness anyways i think we're really saying uh i think that our perceptions are in Star Wars. That was played by Sir Alec Guinness. No? Sir Alec Guinness.

Anyways, I think what we're really saying, I think that our perceptions are flawed. My perception, at least. It's okay. You can say ours. You know, I think our perceptions are flawed based on our own personal interests in food. And I think what we've learned, Nicole,

is that you and I are people that this is very, very important to, you know, fast food, especially a lot of people out there, it's not. They're there for consistency. They're there for the crunchy tacos, for the soft tacos, for the bean burritos. They're there for that, and that's okay. But I would still urge people,

go out there and grab life by the chalupa, god dang it. All right, Nicole, I've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like a throw! That was... You screamed it. I'm happy. We're all jacked up, man.

We're all full of life and love. And hey, you know who's also full of life and love? Who's that? Trevor Everts. Amen. Amen. And Trevor Everts has a brand new podcast that's not brand new anymore. It's still new in our hearts.

It's new. It's still fresh. But it's also established. Incredibly. And it's called Trevor Talks Too Much. It sure is, Josh. And he talks to your favorite celebrities. All of them.

Like gamers. Like social media influencers. Like streamers. Yeah. Maybe an athlete might come social media influencers. Like streamers. Yeah. Maybe an athlete might come on one day. Maybe an actor. Yeah, or maybe like a famous dog. Like one of those Instagram famous dogs.

The little Pomeranian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, listen to Trevor Talks Too Much. It really is a delight. It is a great podcast. And if you... Five stars. Five stars, and then a Pomeranian will come on,

and he'll have a lot to say about what it's like to grow up as a young person in America. Roof. All right, Nicole. First up, we got at Chef Seth 23. Tony sees is the new salt. You can put it on anything and it will taste better. Do you want me to say what I want to say? Say what you want to say.

Okay. So the first week that David and and i moved in together i made him fish with tony sees and it was too salty would you just put too much on it was too salty it's not tony sees fault yeah it is it's not salt's fault if you over salt yeah like hey morton's corporation yeah it is hey diamond salt hey uh god i'm so sorry this mountain dew is crushing me the one thing i did not miss was that. I'm going to be honest with you. Yeah, Tony sees, also Tony Sachery is the full Christian given name. The original point was actually to make a new salt and pepper.

Like Tony Sachery himself was like, bored of just salt and pepper on the table. Here's just one spice you can put on everything and it makes it taste better. And I think they did that. That said, there's a lot of other great, you say, how know that dude how do i know anything get no no get ready for the next things that i'm gonna know because i looked at some of these opinions there's some deep cut knowledge in there uh any whom so yeah that's like the original point uh i love tony satchery's lowry seasoning salt's great slap your mom in cage and seasoning is great old bay i mean kind of has a weird like mrs dash you like mrs dash oh bro montreal spicy steak seasoning that

hits from mccormick yeah yeah yeah that's a great i'm a i'm really leaning into spice blends as i get like busier in my life social obligations work trying to like spend quality time with my partner um spice blends pre-made just use them just use them okay uh d526 says, Peruvian ceviche is the original ceviche. I don't know enough, like, food knowledge to really. Okay, go ahead. Nicole, the original ceviche was actually a 9th century Iraqi dish called sikhbaj. That was a vinegared lamb stew. No way.

Yes, yes, yes. And so ceviche is along with escabeche, with escoviche. God, there are even some other – I can't remember. There's a lot of words that take their root from sikhbaj, which is a vinegared stew, including Jews invented fish and chips on sailing boats to preserve it for Shabbat, all that. And then they start opening up fish and chip shops in England. All that has its roots in sikhbaj. And so sikhbaj used to be vineg be vinegar and lamb stew vinegar and sugar preserved it I've made the original recipe

it is absolutely fantastic got a bunch of like dates and stuff in there and then as sailors kind of gathered this knowledge sailing around the world because that's how ideas spread back then they were like yo we got a bunch of cod we can probably do that same thing with it right and then that turned into fish and then

in Peru they were making a raw fish dish. And these are the indigenous people of Peru. They were making a raw fish dish that, you know, didn't have the citrus and vinegar and stuff on it. And then those are sort of introduced by sailors. And that sort of became, you know, Peruvian ceviche. And so it is kind of like, you know, the original. And then, of course, there's a lot of Chinese and Japanese influence with Nikkei and Chifa cuisine in Peru. And so you get dishes like tiradito in there. I had so much tiradito.

Yeah, dude. Tiradito rules. So much tiradito. So good. I got a shout out. So it's Peruvian ceviche, I suppose, is the original ceviche. I love Mexican ceviche as well. A lot more shrimp in there.

Agua chile. Agua chile. I ate so shrimp in there. Agua Chile. Agua Chile. I ate so much Agua Chile in Baja. And shout out to Lateral. Lateral in San Jose del Cabo. Because they did a tiradito with gochujang. Oh, yeah. Which is really interesting.

Because, you know, a lot of people, I don't know, even if a lot of American tourists go to Mexico, they're like, I want authentic Mexican food. It's like, well, there's a lot of chefs in Mexico who also want to play with international flavors, play with East Asian flavors and Mexican food. And so they had some really awesome, like, classic aguachile. Then they had this, like, tiradito with, like, black sesame and gochujang. Sounds great. And it was such a delight. Shout out to Lateral.

All right. Hi, I'm Dave B. Wood ear fungus is the devil, bro. Is it? Love wood ear fungus. I like wood ear fungus. Wood ear fungus or wood devil, bro. Is it? Love wood ear fungus. I like wood ear fungus. Wood ear fungus or wood ear mushrooms, I guess you see. They're very rubbery.

They are rubber, yeah. They kind of taste a little bit like rubber bands, but they're delicious. Yeah, when they're cooked properly, love them in soup, love them kind of like cooked and then marinated and chilled. Yeah, kind of like a little bunch they're like very thin and black and have this um crunchy texture that you'll find in like jellyfish has it yes abalone has it uh pig ear has it you know what i mean i do love pig ear i love pig ear too yeah uh and i love cold pig ear too a lot of places in la would like fry pig ears that was a common thing i remember yeah um but no like cold marinated pig ear is big in sichuan cooking. You can get it at Mexican restaurants.

There's a Jaliscan place down the road that got it. And that's absolutely delicious. I love wood ear fungus. Also, the term fungus and mushroom is kind of used interchangeably because it's translated from Chinese most of the time. So I'm a huge fan of that. Totally. Let's see what's next. Hi, I'm Dave B.

Has so many opinions. Let's read another one. Savory breakfast is better than sweet breakfast. 100% agree. I think. I think. okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. It depends what you ate most recently. Like the night before. I think, I think that's true. What does that mean? Okay. If I have, if I have ended the night before with like a dessert, with a nice sweet treat, okay. And I will wake up. I don't get reset by the sleep button i will wake up and crave something savory for breakfast interesting so your taste buds don't restart they don't

restart okay like for instance this is this is um a an egregious example of it but the other day um after going to a club in cabo and ending up at a taco shop called tacar yamari at like four in the morning um i ate like four carne asada tacos, a bunch of really spicy chile de arbol. And then I woke up for the free hotel breakfast and just ate like eight slices of coffee cake. And that was what I needed at the time. I even soaked the coffee cake in a little bit of condensed milk to try and make Tres Leches coffee cake. And how did that go? Put some granola on it for crunch, Nicole.

Oh my gosh. It was nice. And so I think there's a time and place for both. No, I like, I'm an egg in time and place for both. No I like I'm an egg in the morning kind of girl. I like try to do an oatmeal but it doesn't satisfy me the way an egg does. I'm going to make some oatmeal after this man. We have salad.

Alright we got at bulky Sam people. Oh yeah we got salads coming. We got at bulky Sam. People who refer to vanilla ice cream as plain are eating the wrong ice cream. I don't know. What do you think? Okay.

So vanilla is like one of the most important plants in human history. It was just, you know, literally traded as freaking currency because it's such an incredible flavor. It's complex. It's like the freaking stamen pod of an orchid or whatever. I don't know anything about what vanilla is. The stamen of an orchid. It's something like that though, right? So it's very rare, hard to grow.

They started planting it all across the world because it was so coveted and so freaking dank. But now we've like diluted the meaning of its flavor so much. But I think most people don't know what real vanilla actually tastes like. And so I think all these commercial – There's different kinds of vanilla. Well, there are. But I'm saying like all these commercial ice creams, they just don't taste a ton like vanilla. They taste like white, right? Like they just taste like all these commercial ice creams they just don't taste a ton like vanilla they taste like white

right like they just taste like white milk sugar ice cream yeah and so I think you just gotta get the right vanilla ice cream correct

you know I love like vanilla bean I love vanilla it's like one of the best flavors in the world oh it's incredible it's like kind of

just a little bit floral and just ooh heady when people are like I don't like vanilla ice cream it's like you do yeah you actually do because vanilla is probably the base of almost all the ice creams you're eating.

Agreed. So. Agreed, agreed, agreed. Um, Noah Dolski, the best way to eat a pint of ice cream is with flaky salt sprinkled on every spoonful. Oh, snap. I do this. Yeah. Sometimes I like, I put like salt on like sweet things. Yeah. I don't put it, do you put it on every spoonful? No. Yeah. I'll do like a little layer across the top of the pint of ice cream that I'm eating and then I'll kind of slightly mix it because I don't love crunchy salt. I just, I don't put it. Do you put it on every spoonful? No. Yeah, I'll do like a little layer across the top of the kind of ice cream that I'm eating. And then I'll kind of slightly mix it because I don't love crunchy salt. I don't want to crunch through it, but I want the flavor. Yeah. And so, yeah, that is a good way to improve any pint of ice cream you're eating.

Josh made a really good milkshake one time with salt and Oreos. And it was so damn delicious. Yeah, it was a salted malted Oreo milkshake. And honey, that was good. Yeah, dude, that was because I had a salted malted Oreo milkshake. And honey, that was good. Yeah, dude, that was because I had a salted malted butterscotch milkshake at the Tillamook factory. Oh, wow. Bro, that was that hit. That was the best milkshake I've ever had.

That sounds delicious. All right, we've got Alex Act. General Shows chicken is always superior to teriyaki chicken. Two different countries. Three if you consider America's influence in all of this. Okay, I understand

where they're coming from because Panda Express added a teriyaki-esque chicken to their menu. Okay. Because they didn't have any like non-fried chicken options.

I mean, they had the Kung Pao chicken and chicken with string beans, but they didn't have any just like get a chunk of chicken not fried. Yeah. And so they added

a teriyaki chicken to it, which is very confusing, but there's a lot of places that will have both chinese and japanese cuisine so i don't think these are analogous um but general shows verse orange verse lemon verse cashew chicken i go orange every time i go cashew you cashew i love cashew chicken as someone who hates the cheesecake factory the cashew chicken from the cheesecake factory is one of my favorite things in the whole entire universe. Also, I don't know. I love teriyaki chicken.

And actually, have you ever had Wabagrill before? I've seen so many Wabagrills and I've never stopped eating. I have a confession to make. I think Wabagrill is in my top three favorite fast food. Really? I am obsessed with Wabagrill. Next time I get off on the freeway on my way to anywhere else, because that is all the Waba Grills I see. I am obsessed with Waba Grill.

Like, on the way to LAX. I, like, told David about it. I even took him one time. He's like, this is insane. I'm like, shut your mouth. This is delicious. I love Waba Grill. I don't even know what's on their menu.

What do you get from Waba? Oh, my God. I get their teriyaki chicken or their teriyaki steak with broccoli and brown rice. Man, do you ever go to Flame Broiler? Never. My mouth is watering. I refuse to walk into a flame broiler or yoshinoa why why flame broiler both of them i don't know do flame i have like a

weird i like a weird visceral reaction when i see their like logos i'm like i can't do it i can't do it but wabba girl i love you wabba girl if wabba girl if you're listening just open one next to my house wabba girl get nico Nicole on that sponsorship game. I have never heard anybody passionately defend Wabba Grill the way that you have. And I think there's something special there. Nicole, I hope you and Wabba Grill have a happy life together. I'll be chilling at the Flame Broiler eating my plain teriyaki chicken bowl. All right. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions Are Like C, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions Are Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or in HandyZada with the hashtag

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pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. See you next time. Let's go get Taco Bell. Grab life by the chalupa. Live moss. Chalupa means small boat.

I do now.