A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What The Heck Is Paprika?

Episode Date: September 29, 2021

Today, Josh and Nicole are discussing: what the heck is paprika?? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Mythical! Hungarian-born writer George Lang once said, Paprika is to the Hungarian cuisine as wit is to its conversation, not just a superficial garnish but an integral element. Like that's cool and all, George, but what the heck is it and why do I keep pronouncing it Paprika? This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaidi.

And, Nicole, today we're discovering why I mispronounce words so badly, such as paprika. I feel like you Google all words before you say them though i do i so i believe the hungarian pronunciation paprika right is a hungarian word and i believe the hungarian pronunciation is closer to paprika like i think if there's more paprika paprika chicken paprika so the accent is on the p i think the So the accent is on the P. I think the emphasis is on the first syllable. I believe is the case. But no, someone once accused me of being the Giada De Laurentiis of all Latin and Asian foods. Yeah, I just think, yeah, sometimes.

Spaghetti. Tortilla. I think you're just trying to give the word the benefit of the doubt and not bastardize it. Try and be as respectful as possible. That said, I know nothing about the Hungarian language. How much Hungarian do you speak? What if I just busted out like a whole like monologue in Hungarian? Wouldn't that be rad? I don't know anything about Hungary other than I am hungry right now. Do you need breakfast? Wow. Nice to meet you, Hungary. I'm dad.

Anyways, today we're talking all about, I'm just going to say paprika for the sake of the show Yeah, I would say paprika too, yeah, that's fine But not a lot of people seem to know what paprika is Other than the red spice that makes things red in their pantry, right? I think it makes food yummier In what way? What does paprika taste like to you? That's really hard to describe because there's so many different kinds of paprika You're stalling, you're stalling No, I'm not, no, I'm not

So, like, whenever I just think of run-of-the-mill like Walmart paprika, you put your finger in and you lick it. I actually licked it. Is, I don't know. I think it's like a mild, peppery, dried vegetable flavor. One, if you're getting Walmart paprika, it probably just tastes like red dust. Yeah, but I'm just thinking of the everyman right now. Yeah, no, of course, of course.

But I mean, I think that's why there's so much confusion about it, right? It's because people just know it. It's like a lot of paprika that you get to me reminds me of getting like dried parsley, right? Sure. It's going to taste like almost nothing. Nothing, yeah. But it puts a little green specks on your food, which makes it more enticing. Exactly. Like I literally, in my own pantry, I've talked a lot about how sometimes I just, I'm very agnostic on certain spices or dried herbs or whatever.

Sure. And if I'm marinating chicken, I just want green flecks on there. Right. Okay. And so I will throw in whatever, oregano, basil, marjoram. I just, I combine it all into one little jar of green flecks and just go. Yeah. Throw it on my chicken. Ditto with paprika, where it's just like, I'm not focusing on the flavor of paprika.

I want my chicken to be a little bit red. Red, yeah. Because it looks better. If it looks better, it's going to taste better. Yeah, I get that psychology. But that said, paprika is like an incredibly diverse spice with a really fascinating history behind it. And when it comes down to it it's chili powder yeah that's what it is it is european chili powder you're exactly on the spectrum of chili powder it is maybe the least offensive or at least strong well i mean weakest well when you say chili powder

what are you referring to well i think of the container that says chili powder no agreed same here but like right like what pepper is that what pepper is being ground into that probably a melange of peppers. Probably. Probably whatever's cheapest, right? Whatever's being sold over at the Smart and Final or at the Walmart. They combine in chili pepper. Ditto with paprika. If you sort of think about paprika as just European chili powder, it sort of makes sense, especially in the way that if you go to Mexico, right? Think about how many different chili powders you and I have in the pantry right now in our kitchen. Just tons.

Ancho, California chili powder, New Mexico chili powder. Mirage. Mirage chili powder. Aleppo. Aleppo from Syria. Like and then even all the Mexican chili powder. We have dried jalapeno powder, chipotle powder, habanero powder. We do. There is the same thing with paprika.

Oh, wow. With all the different Hungarian or Spanish cultivars of pepper. And of course, all of that is also coming from America, right? Sure. I mean, if you consider the greater Americas, there's the same relationship with paprika where there's so many different Hungarian cultivars, but all of them came from America originally, right? Or the New World, as you would say. Like from Central America and Mexico, there would be no chilies in the entire world without that. So when you think of how spicy Thai food is, right.

Yes. Those peppers didn't exist in Thailand until the 15th century and they were brought there via trade routes. From the Americas? From the Americas. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Just none of that exists. I mean, even like Peruvian traders and sailors, you know, that stuff was all just coming from that region. So they would bring it to the region and then because the region had like a different biodiversity, like different chilies would come out of there? Exactly.

And so that's where we get a lot of these like sweet peppers from Hungary that have created. Because if you really had to break down the difference between quote unquote chili powder and quote unquote paprika, I'm putting both of those in quotes because. They can mean whatever. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. The main difference is that a lot of chili powders from Mexico are going to be spicier

and a lot of paprikas are going to be sweeter, but they are ultimately just dried, desiccated, powdered capsicum, right? Would be a scientific term for it. Correct. And the reason for that is because the cold climate in hungary right they have to ripen for a lot longer and they were selectively breeding to have sweeter peppers that weren't you know quite as spicy because there wasn't as much of like a history there and so now there's there's something like you know uh i mean there's an unlimited amount of pepper cultivars that you can get yeah in

hungary but they've like you know codified them into like eight different kinds of paprika. Oh, cool. But we don't really know those in America, right? We know like sweet paprika, hot paprika, and then smoked, which is smoked paprika. Do you like smoked paprika? I love smoked paprika. Okay.

It's like liquid smoke to me where I love it. I'm like on the fence about smoked paprika. It's very strong. I do love hot paprika though. That's fun for me yeah my question is do you think that i mean like i don't know if this is real or not but don't you feel like people's taste buds have just become desensitized now and like we have like and we now like try to make spicier or more different peppers yeah of it it's not like confusing like, for our brains? I think we—

Do you know what I'm saying? I might—I may be a bit vague, but if you can just take what I said and, like, make it more concise for the people to digest, please. No, I think, like, we've gotten in this arms race with chili peppers. Yeah. And this is maybe a change of topic, but you see it a lot in the packaged chips world yeah where like doritos i remember maybe 15 years ago came out with a fiery habanero dorito and that's when habanero was this is before a lot of the ghost chili the scorpion pepper the reaper the blah blah blah all

this stuff pepper x dragon's breath these names are just like the butthole scorcher 3000 but they had a habanero flavor of chip and it was really spicy. And it was almost at like the top level of spice that you can get in a packaged food before it's just alienating people, right? Yeah. Have you ever had paprika chips? Which is what I was going to talk about because paprika chips are dank. But I think people- Paprika isn't as sexy of a name as like ghost chili limon.

You know what I mean yeah i just i just think paprika gets like a bad rap it's like the redheaded stepchild of it is literally the red powdered stepchild of the pantry a lot of love but if if you learn how to like cook with paprika like if you make a good beef goulash or like a chicken paprika i actually think the flavor of paprika is quite pleasant i just have to know how to use it. It's kind of like bay leaves. A hundred percent. I was going to bring that up. Oh my gosh.

Not bad. It's kind of like the bay leaf. We're like so in sync. Are you Lance Bass? Because I was a Lance Bass girl, but I feel like I'm now a JC Chazay.

JC Chazay. Let's go. Oh my gosh. I'm such a JC Chazay girl now that I'm a little bit more mature. I like what Lance Bass has done to the nightlife scene in WeHo.

He's got it. He's always mobbing around there. He owns a couple bars. He's so hot. The point is, much like bay leaves, where you're not going to taste the flavor of a bay leaf unless you make bay leaf the star, same with paprika. Yeah, I've noticed that. Yeah. And so if you have a dish like chicken paprikash, which I'm just faking what I think Hungarian sounds like.

I think that's a good pronunciation. I've seen diners drive-ins and dives when he goes to like a Hungarian place. Has he gone to a lot of Hungarian places? I feel like every time I turn on the TV, this guy is eating, this guy being Guy Fieri, is eating chicken paprikash. I don't know.

Is that like not something he does all the time? I feel like there are a couple episodes that I always turn on and Guy Fieri's always eating the same garlic shrimp from a truck in Maui. I've seen that episode like 15 times and I don't know what it is. My dad's seen that episode like 15 times. He loves that stuff. Point is, if you make paprika the star, that's when you really find out what it tastes like, right?

Yeah, what the heck paprika is. Exactly. And it's got this beautiful, I mean, of course, depends on what kind of paprika you're using. But to me, I love it because it's got this like sweet, dusky earthiness to it. Dusky is a great word. Dusky earthiness. But it's not as dusky as like a Chipotle. No, it doesn't have that sort of bitterness.

It's got this like very, very like round quality to it. But I mean, one of my favorite things to do is, what's that Spanish dish? Paella. That one. No, no, there's another one uh papas bravas papas bravas yeah right it's like the the fried or roasted potatoes and then you put the the pimenton aioli on it or whatever just take a bunch of smoked paprika and mix it with mayonnaise mayonnaise and then pop that on like potatoes or whatever and that's a great way for me to

experience paprika has anyone made the liquid paprika like I think it's called hot sauce. No, no, no, no. You're trying to be funny. Given what we've talked about today. You're trying to be funny. But I'm being serious. Like, imagine like a liquid paprika instead of like

in powdered form, it's like liquid form. Does that make sense? That'd be interesting. Well, I mean, paprika is such a diverse spice, not only within Hungary.

Hungary, like, they have paprika festivals. There is a paprika museum. And paprika is, I believe, actually a Hungarian word. But, I mean, it all kind of dates back to Latin and whatnot. It's a very complicated history when you get into the trade routes. But it also wasn't even introduced to Hungary until, I believe, the 16th or 17th century from Turkish traders because that whole the Balkans were all under Ottoman Empire rule at the time and so it's sort of like spread around via

that way but at paprika I think was originally even cultivated in Spain and then that made its way to Morocco which is crazy history is fascinating it really is fascinating but in Morocco they will mix paprika just with olive oil and create like a spice paste. Yum. Which to me, I would love to just rub that on anything. Rub that on my body, go out and tan, you get that nice little red shade from the paprika. That sounds horrible. Oh, here,

paprika oleoresin. How do I say this? Oleoresin. Interesting, what is that? Paprika oleoresin is an oil soluble extract from the fruits of the capsaicin or capsaicin

fruitiness and it's basically paprika that is liquefied and it's used a lot in orange juice spice mixture sauces

sweet and emulsified processed meats oh the thing you're talking about is paprika extract which is a colorative yeah but I guess

it has a little bit of flavor in it there is paprika extract in craft mac and cheese to give it they a lot of the times paprika extract and turmeric will be combined together to form a sort of natural food dye oh very cool but it doesn't really taste like anything does it does it no i don't think it has any natural

i mean i'm sure if you ate it in high doses it does but just enough to like color something it completely doesn't very cool um do they am I imagining this where they feed chickens paprika to make their yolks more orange? That was the thing that Dan Barber, the chef from New York, really experimental chef. He has a restaurant where they like lead you around to different barns and like you'll walk up to a table in a barn and there's just like a single cucumber hanging from a string. And he's like, that's your dish. And then you eat it and it's like the best thing you've ever eaten. Blue hill of stone barns. I'm exaggerating, but he does a lot of really cool little farming experiments.

And yeah, he did a thing where he fed chickens exclusively red peppers or something. And apparently chickens can't experience capsaicin. Okay. They just lack the... I don't know. And chickens also don't experience love, I believe. I don't know. My mom had a pet chicken.

Really? Yeah. Her name was Pofak, which means popcorn. Did they eventually give it the old axe? It's highly plausible, but there's so many pictures in my family photo albums of this damn chicken. How do you choose between a food chicken and a pet chicken? I don't know, but I have a strong feeling.

I think my sister told me, like, I'm not going to get into it. One day that pet's going to end up on the dinner table. I need to ask. If you guys want to know more about Polak, just tag me in some chicken pictures later, and we'll talk about it. But, yeah, he fed chickens exclusively red peppers peppers and it changed the color of the yolk. I don't know if it changed the flavor though. Interesting. So what pepper is paprika derived from?

Because I think that's a question. I think that's a question a lot of people are just waiting to ask. I made a claim on Twitter once that's a question a lot of people are just waiting to ask. I made a claim on Twitter once that paprika is just bell pepper powder. In the same way that we have

garlic powder, we have onion powder, we have, what other things are turned into powders? Onion. Yeah, close enough. Did you say that already?

Did you say that? In the same way that you have garlic powder and onion powder, which literally are just dried, desiccated forms of garlic and onion that are powdered,

blah, blah, blah. I was like, paprika is just red bell pepper powder. And then I got a bunch of Hungarians in the mentions being like, Don't do it. No, that's my Hungarian accent. No. No. Come on, man. It also sounds like the

Robin Williams penguins from Happy Feet. But anyways, so there are a bunch of different cultivars and they all have hungarian names hold on i had a list uh edesh nemish kulong legish shishmontish just mega i can't speak hungarian so it's very confusing so good though oh my god thank you so much someone who has never heard no but i mean most of them are sweet most of them are not spicy and they are not all just red bell pepper and i think that's that's a big misconception i say that's a big misconception as if i wasn't the exact person perpetuating it the misconception i was misconceived

that sounds like my that was an accident um it's okay i was were you vacation baby oh my god no way yeah that's great no i was conceived in the woods. Of course I was. That explains a lot about me. I don't know the exact context. I just know that it was like in the woods in Virginia. I was conceived in Lake Tahoe, so not too far. Oh my God, like a casino?

Like one of the- A cabin? They were on a family vacation? We're both woods babies. That explains so much. We're both woods babies. That explains so much. We're both feral children. Look at us. And look how far we've come.

Now we're talking about paprika that we only seem to half understand because neither of us knows anything about a Hungarian. I think I'm part ethnically Hungarian, too. I think I'm a Cossack. Why don't you do- Or a Magyar. I don't get why you and Julia, both of you, just don't get 23andMe'd. I don't- 23andMe scares me. It's awesome.

If anyone has any, like, people always worry about what sort of data their phone is collecting, right? And I don't have a lot of worries about that. Give me ads for the weird shorts and weightlifting supplements that you think I want and need, Jeff Bezos. There's like a different level of like, I'm going to spit in the cup and just send all my genetic information to someone through the mail. That's a little weird.

I don't. I did it. And I found out that I'm 2% unknown, which is fun because it makes me feel like I might be an alien. And did that like make your life better? I reconnected with some family members that I would have never met. Are they cool? That's what I'm saying, right? It's it tells you it tells you like uh this is like an

ad for 23andme it like tells you like uh if you have like a certain genetic like possibilities like if your pee smells from asparagus or not you couldn't you couldn't tell if your own pee smells from asparagus you needed to spit in a cup and send all your genetic information so they can sell it to like drug companies and clone you and then also like your percentage of Neanderthal cause all of us have a little Neanderthal in us cause like apparently like we like we made it with like

not australopithecine but like we like homo sapiens like made it with like uh chromagons or whatever and like all of us have like a little percentage of it and like what the hell are you talking about I'm being honest Cro-Magnons or whatever. And like all of us have like a little percentage of it. And like I found out. What the hell are you talking about? I'm being honest.

It's a test in the 23andMe. Why are you looking at me like that? They're going to clone you. They're going to take your spit. Is that so bad? They're going to clone you to harvest your organs. Is that so bad? To sell to rich people.

I've seen the island. I've seen Gattaca. Nothing good comes from this. Having another Nicole sounds great. Nothing good comes from this. Nicole, if you were to recommend one dish for people to really experience paprika, what would you tell them to make? Deviled eggs, Josh.

The answer is deviled eggs because all you need is a small strip of the paprika on top of your eggs and you're good. That is, when I think of paprika and especially like the most useless uses of paprika yeah it is absolutely the little red powder on top of deviled eggs and i think that's like sure i think that's like where a lot of people experience it it's like red thing yeah and you're not you're not gonna taste it no but like it's a good like segue like you know what i think about a lot that there are certain times when i've probably eaten a whole dozen eggs worth of deviled eggs right and if they were just hard boiled i would never eat 12 hard boiled eggs i was thinking about the other day like the difference

between like uh white people parties and like persian people parties and y'all just have a tray of eggs out there yeah yeah we got but the eggs are mixed with mayonnaise and there's a little bit of red dust on top so it makes sense y'all just go to town on a on a pallet of eggs persian people parties don't just got a bunch of eggs out there no there's egg salad but like oh yeah yeah but he'll just pop eggs like i've never seen before it's crazy it's kind of weird because weird because we throw them back like horse pills. We'll just be in conversation. Just take a whole half an egg and just go. Yeah, exactly.

It's very alien. I agree. It is very alien. Yeah, yeah. There's this. You know about. Let's talk about white people party culture. You know about Kakana cheese balls? They're the most American thing in the world.

Yeah, yeah. Are they the nut rolled ones? Yeah, but some of them are like weirdly red. Are they wrapped in paprika? It'll be like their wine flavored one. No, no, no. The port ones. Port, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I've always, that's like pure Americana to me, like a cheese ball. Yeah, it's like if you mix Cheez Whiz with a little bit of like red wine and sawdust and then rolled it in almonds. Yeah. And then you put a little bit of that on your deviled eggs and just slurp it down. Yeah, that's really interesting. Like, never did that before. But there's this red pepper spread that has paprika in it, and it's Lithuanian.

And it's like a cheese. No, no, no. Some people think it's that, but it's not. It's like a creamy, cheesy, paprika-y spread. That sounds great. Yeah, it's really good. It's Lithuanian. We need to get into more Balkan cuisine.

Yeah, I don't think there's a lot of representation in LA unless I'm wrong. There's not. I have a Serbian neighbor. Shout out to Nesh. He's been offering to make me cevapcici. I don't really know what that is, but every time I see him, he goes, hey, when are you coming over for cevapcici? And I'm like, gosh, I'm really busy, but I should.

I should take them up balkan sausage it's a balkan sausage yeah that sounds great balkan sausage was my nickname in high school and once his uh his mother-in-law made me really delicious serbian stuffed bell peppers in the spice profile and it was just so delicious and homey and filled with marjoram and and and winter spice and it was really great i'm trying to find this darn red pepper spray from the Lithuanian people, but I can't find it. Just red. Pimentone.

What is pimentone? Pimentone is Spanish smoked paprika that's dried over white oak. Wow. You know what? It's just European Chipotle powder. That's crazy. There should be a chain of burrito restaurants

all across Europe called Pimentone. I'm surprised they have it. Like Chipotle, but Pimentone. That's good. You want to pitch it to freaking Mark Cuban or something? Like, what do you want? You can sell it at the Mavericks games. You know what I think is funny?

What? How many of these crops just didn't exist? How many of what? How many crops didn't exist in the rest of the world until, you know, the Americas were, I don't know, pillaged. Whatever the verb you're supposed to use is because it wasn't discovered because they were just like people there. Discovered is a nice word. Yeah, whatever. But how many potatoes, for instance, right?

Someone tweeted at us once, are mashed potatoes just Irish guacamole? Oh, yeah, I remember that. No. And it's like, no, because potatoes are also from the same place that avocados are from. Exactly. That's just mashed potatoes or South American, Central American guacamole, if you want to say that. You think they have avocados in Ireland?

No, I'm saying they have nothing to do with each other, but potatoes aren't Irish, right? They've been naturalized, but potatoes didn't get to Ireland until Walter Raleigh brought them in like the late 1400s yes you know do you think that the potato famine was because uh ireland didn't know how to like cultivate the no the potato famine was all because of like really terrible uh british politics like no it was like borderline just the british crown trying to genocide the irish it's really messed up yeah they don't like each other i don't know oh yeah there's like whole

wars uh about it my god oh for hundreds of years yeah really really terrible i didn't like shout out to all the irish homies out there y'all been screwed around with for a lot of history the potato famine was absolutely avoidable the potato blight wasn't, but the Irish farmers weren't allowed to keep a majority of their crops. That's not very. And they were sold out by some of the like Irish aristocrats at the time who were sort of just collaborating with the British government. But anyways, back to paprika.

I don't know the whole history behind it, but it's I'm comfortable with my. Yeah. Paprika, paprika, paprika. Did you know that the zoo sometimes includes paprika In the food of the flamingos in order to help keep them pink? Well, because flamingos aren't They're not They eat a bunch of shrimps, right?

And that's what turns them pink Kelp, kelp, shrimp, kelp Plankton Welks What's a welk? I think it's an animal that is in a shell. I think so. I had a bunch of welks.

Hold on. I want to make a call out to the Hungarian Board of Tourism. I think that more Americans need to know about... All we know is paprikash and goulash and langos. Don't know what langos is. Langos is like a fried dough topped with like a cream or like a yogurt-y substance and cheese. We've made it for GMM before. We made it for GMM and that was really delicious.

Yeah. But I would like to officially open up our candidacy for you and I, Nicole, to travel to Hungary. Oh my gosh. To Budapest and on the dime of the Hungarian Board of Tourism, of course. Oh my gosh, I would love that. And we'll become the official like American spokesman for Hungarian food. Because I think it needs a big PR campaign. I think, no, not the food, but just paprika.

Just paprika. We should be the ambassadors of paprika. We should be. Yeah, we will don large billowy dresses filled with peppers. I was going to say I want to dress the color of paprika. I would love that. I want one. You can have one too.

I think that's our official. I think I would look good. I have the legs for a dress. I have these long dancer's legs that I think would look great in a frilly paprika themed dress. So this is it. If anybody has any hookups with the Hungarian Board of Tourism, we will. Tag us in the Instagram. Yeah, I think political situation in Hungary is a little dicey in the last five years.

What country is it? That's fine. That's what I'm saying. We're there for the paprika. This isn't an endorsement of Victor Orban's politics. This is merely us wanting to get down with the paprika. Josh, closing statements. Hungary, reach out.

Just like we will not endorse any proto-fascist policies. Just the paprika. Just the paprika. Josh, okay. Closing statements. Answering the question that we are asking, what the heck is paprika. Just the paprika. Josh, okay, closing statements. Answering the question that we are asking, what the heck is paprika? What the heck is paprika? Paprika is

a very misunderstood spice. It is the combination of hundreds of years of history to cultivate chili peppers and their related varieties in the colder climates of Hungary and we misunderstand it because American grocery stores typically only carry one or two varieties.

But pick up a bunch of different, go to Amazon and just like get some imported Hungarian paprika for $6 or whatever. And then dump like five times more of that onto your food than you're used to and really get to know the flavor because it's a beautiful spice with a beautiful history and it deserves more respect. Dang it. Now you ask me. Nicole, what do you think about Hungary's threats to leave the European Union?

No, Nicole, what do you think about paprika? It's red. That too. All right, Nicole, I've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles! First up, we got at Becca Birdsell,

peppery gravy is an acceptable dipping sauce, specifically for fries and chicken tendies. Um, so, um, there's this place, Dairy Queen? Dairy Queen, Dairy Queen, yes. Dairy Queen, Dairy Queen, yes, yes. I love that you know Dairy Queen is the only fast food place that gives you gravy specifically as a condiment for chicken tenders. I know this, and I enjoy it very much, so this is a good opinion.

It is a grand opinion. There's, if you were saucing a chicken tender, though, you need a higher quantity of gravy per bite than something like barbecue sauce, right? No. You don't think so? But gravy's not as strong of a flavor, right? It's not as pungent. It's about the texture.

Yeah, God, I do love gravy. That's why I like that they specified peppery. Yeah, because we know it's white gravy. Yeah, and then you're getting more flavor per volume. Sure. Yeah, so I respect that. I agree with that. Also, KFC, their gravy is great just as a dip for chicken tendies.

KFC has good gravy. Oh, so good. It has a great taste. It's roasty. It's good. Oh, God, I love good brown gravy. You know what I can't stand, though? The beef gravy in a packet.

I grew up eating that. Yeah. God, that is. Yeah, but just stick your finger in and then rub it in your gums just to feel. Oh, no. You're weak. Oh, it's my nightmare.

You're weak. Oh, God. Okay, Lou Bagus says, crackers topped with cream cheese and a green olive is the best salty snack. I am the queen of Ritz with cream cheese

and a, this, like a misnomer on top. Let it be an olive. Let it be an anchovy. Let it be a tomato. Let it be a, I don't know, a swivel of honey.

I love it. This is the Mambo number five guy? This is Lubega. No, that's Lubega. This is Lubega. I really prefer crackers topped with cream cheese and then here we go, here we go. A little bit of jalapeno jelly.

I was going to say hot sauce, but okay. That's talking about white people party food. Pepper jelly? Pepper jelly, yeah. That's white people party food. You get the Ritz crackers, non-saltine Ritz, or Keebler Club, our fave. Wow, Keebler Club. Every time you bring it up, my eyes just sparkle.

You swoon over Keebler Club. They're so good. Yeah, all the structure of a saltine, all the butteriness of a Ritz. Keebler Club. We're now out to both Keebler and the Hungarian Board of Tourism for a sponsorship. And if we can get both of them on a package deal, huge. Oh, my gosh. Huge.

Tour Hungary's paprika facilities brought to you by Keebler Club, the official club cracker of Hungary. Anything is possible, Josh. Just got to pitch it the right way. Yeah, that's the ultimate white people party food. It's a Keebler Club cracker, cream cheese, and pepper jelly on it. I like pepper jelly. I think the olive, too much savory. I want some sweet to cut the cream.

At Sarah T. Hoyt, all pasta, from the most expensive to the cheapest cheapest tastes the same after it's covered in sauce. This is a test I think we have to do. I think I understand what they're saying. And it might be very, it depends on, I don't know. They're talking about grocery store pasta, right? Yeah, I'm guessing. You get the Walmart spaghetti versus the $9 whatever Italian brand spaghetti. The canvas bag that they put on the side.

Yeah. That's going to taste the same, I believe. I don't think you could tell the difference in a taste test. I would love to try it in a taste test. I would too. I mean, but there's certain like where I go if I'm buying expensive pasta noodles, it's because they're like shapes that don't exist from the major companies, right? Yeah, I agree.

They're the fun ones. They're the fun ones. They're like even like a like bucatini. You They're the, like, even like a, like, Bucatini. You ever seen that long pasta that's like a long fusilli? Sorry. Yeah, that's a trip. That's cool.

That's weird. I've never seen that in a store. Me too, but I want it. But it's one giant fusilli noodle. I really want it. Is that your ultimate pasta shape? No! We should do,

we should, hold on, we should invent our own pasta shape. Someone's already done that before. I'm kidding. Shout out to Dan Pashman from The Sporkful. That was a really enjoyable series. I've still never had it. Someone's already done that before. I'm kidding. Shout out to Dan Pashman from The Sporkful. That was a really enjoyable series. I've still never had it.

It's called Cascatelli. I still never had it. I think we should buy it. We should definitely buy it. I should reach out. Yeah, why not? Dan, I don't know why I haven't reached out. I'm a big fan.

I really enjoy your stuff. I think you need to cross the bridge sometimes, Josh. I need to make more friends. I think it'll help you. I need to make more friends. Yeah, it'll help us. So right now we're out to Keebler Club Crackers, Dan Pashman of the Sporkful, and the entire nation state of Hungary.

Okay. And if we can combine, Nicole, all three of those onto the same sponsorship. Oh my gosh. That's going to be huge for us. That's going to be huge for us. But two carbs though? That's tough. That's tough.

Sezzle Bear says, Vegemite is the world's most versatile food. It's a salty stock you can use to flavor and thicken or eat it. Interesting. I've never made a Vegemite stock. I have never cooked with Vegemite, really. I really love Vegemite and I prefer it to Marmite. Did you not

make an Australian soup one time with kangaroo and Vegemite or am I making that up? I think you dreamt about that. Nuh- that. I think you work too much. I don't work too much. I'm pretty sure there was a GMM episode where you made an Australian soup. Or maybe someone did.

Maybe someone made that. Oh, yeah. That could have been like Willet soup or something before my time. I made like a Vegemite pizza once, which was really good. Oh, was it good? Yeah.

I mean, I really love Vegemite. Do you like Vegemite? I love Vegemite, but I can't eat it more than once a year. Vegemite is, it's like yeast, right? It's yeast extract. But I don't know what yeast is. Like yeast, it's an

animal. It's a living organism. It's like an organism. It's like bacteria thing. Yeah. And it eats. It eats and then it farts. But like that's like that's like baking yeast. I think they're related. Like if someone was like

Nicole I'll give you $100 if you can accurately describe how Vegemite is made and what it is. I have no idea. I would have no idea. I'd have to watch a video about it. I just know I just go it's yeast and I don't know what that means. I have a strong feeling it has. What's the goo? Because it's a goo. Where does the goo come from? Is the goo the yeast?

Is that the yeast bodies? I think it might be a cooked down block of yeast with water and they just cook it down until it's... I have no idea. All I know is it's delicious. Yeah, it's all right. Here we go. At Michaela W97, bread tastes better smushed.

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and hard disagree on that. I feel like the point of bread is that it's not smushed. I feel like if you're smushing bread, you know? I get what they're saying. Whenever you go in and you eat the white part and you smush it in the bowl. Yeah. I do like the toothsome texture of it. Michaela, I have a great idea for you.

Flat breads. That's a pre-smushed bread that you can just buy. No, it's not. It's not smushed. Well, I mean, it's... The fun part is you take the fluffy... I understand, Michaela. You take the fluffy bread and then you compact it and you squish it into a ball and then you eat it.

I get it. Yeah, but then you get so much less bread per volume. But you get so much more enjoyment out of the bread you're eating. It's like if you take a fruit by the foot and you mash it into a ball into a giant dense gusher. Yes. Yeah, I understand this. That's the one. And you mash it into a ball into a giant, dense gusher? Yes. Yeah, I understand this. That's the one.

Would you ever make any fillet with anything? What? Your homemade gusher. My homemade bread gusher? Yeah. A little bit of Vegemite. You're lying. A little bit of Vegemite gushers.

You're lying. You're a liar. You're lying. That was my Australian accent. Did you like it? You're lying. You're lying. You're lying.

You're lying. You're lying. You're lying. Okay. Mia Charleboy says bagels plus cream cheese plus nacho cheese Doritos. Ah, this is a derivation of the French mother dish bagel plus cream cheese plus hot Cheetos. Yes, me being the French moselle. And I don't like this. You need to put the hot Cheetos on there or else it's non-applicable. I don't like it. I feel the nach the hot Cheetos on there or else it's non-applicable. I don't like it.

I feel the nacho cheese Doritos step on the cream cheese. You know, I think even throw, say, like a Cool Ranch. If you're not going Flamin' Hot, I'd say throw a Cool Ranch on there. Too much cheese. You know what's the best one to put on there? Salsa Verde. Can you say Funyuns? Oh, oh, oh, that'd be nice.

Because you know how you have a bagel with like lox and like onions and capers? Red onion on it? Yeah. Get some funny. When is that funny? You know what chip needs to make a comeback, Nicole? And that's the wasabi funny. I've never had it.

Heck of a chip. Yeah. Also, it's funny because wasabi flavored things are just horseradish flavored things. Yeah, they're just green. Yeah. Just dyed green. Because almost all wasabi in the US is horseradish that's been dyed green. Yeah.

Ooh. Podcast alert. No, I was going to say. That's like a big punch in the face to all sushi eaters, me being one of them. Oh, yeah. Well, have you had fresh wasabi? Yeah, I have. I have.

And maybe I just don't taste some. Pretty wild, man. I love it. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Lazy Guppy says. Oh, man. That's good. That's good. Lazy Guppy says... On to the next one.

That's good. Stop making me laugh all the time. Lazy Guppy says cucumbers marinated in spicy Thai vinegar make the best pickles. Yes, that sounds delightful. That's good. Come on. Who is this creature? I don't know. It's the ultimate vocal fry. That sounds delightful. That good. No, that's, come on. That good. Who is this creature? No, that's, I don't know.

It's just, it's the ultimate vocal fry my Southern California is coming at. Cucumbers marinated in spicy Thai vinegar makes the best pickles. Yeah. No, Jews make the best pickles. What about Thai Jews? Okay, okay, okay. What about Thai Jews? There's Thai Jews out there.

I'm sure. There's a halal Thai restaurant really close to us that I've never tried. I'm down. I'm down. Yeah, yeah. But anyways, no. So pickles need to have two distinct categories between vinegar pickles or quickles, as I call them, and then pickles.

I love quickles. I love quickles, too, but the best pickles to me are always going to be lacto-fermented. So that's like the Jewish pickles, even like the big whole Vlasic ones in the jar. And I know non-Jews, the Goyish can make the pickles. But I'm saying like a classic lacto-fermented deli pickle, there is a deep umami to it that I freaking love. And that you're not going to get if you're just marinating it in vinegar because you're not going to get that fermentation. And so to me, it's like the kimchis that you get that are like deep and savory as opposed to just acid and spice. Light and crunchy.

Yeah. And you get that shrimp paste that ferments with the lactobacillus and the cabbage. Ugh. So good. I feel that way about a lot of pickles. So to the point where I have vinegar pickles and I'm like unimpressed. Color me unimpressed. I like vinegar pickles.

I think they serve a purpose. Yeah. I always as do you know the good Jew pickles I love Bubby's pickles yeah can we get sponsored by Bubby yo Grillo's though I don't know if

Grillo's I don't know if Grillo's has a distinct religious ethno identity but I do but they make good pickles whatever even if they're Catholic pickles

those are great pickles they're really good pickles we just eat them like snacks in the kitchen oh here's a good one. At JP Worthy, peanut butter and syrup on bread is the best late night snack.

Try it. I have tried it. I've tried it. Because I love peanut butter and honey sandwiches, but Nicole, sometimes our honey is too sticky to use because, you know, sometimes it spills. And so instead of honey, I'll use maple syrup on it or molasses, which isn't very good. Molasses on peanut butter is pretty bad. Oh, no.

That's bad. Point is, I try it. Point is, I try it. Maple syrup is really delicious. Yeah, maple syrup and peanut butter. The fake stuff. The fake stuff. Log cabin. I don't think it matters if it's fake or real.

Well, the fake stuff is thicker. Well, that's up to you. Because it's just corn syrup. Why don't they make a maple syrup flavored peanut butter? Oh. Does that exist? I don't know. People should make it it i got really into

fancy nut butters uh during lockdown the pandemic and but now that the world's opened up i got out of my fancy nut butters maybe we're going back in but if we're going back in oh i'm gonna dive back into those 19 jars of like 19 i went to the farmers i went to the farmer's market once like right when it was like hey things are kind of opening back up, but everyone, like, fully masked and, you know, all that. And I bought two little jars of nut butter, and they were, like, $19 each. That's nuts. And I almost just, like, put them back. But they were like, and all our profits go to, like, help youth organizations with people experiencing homelessness.

And I was like, ah, okay. I guess I'll just buy them. Yeah, yeah. Do they have like macadamia nuts in them? Yeah, but you know one of the problems is though they weren't grind even fine enough to be considered like a nut butter. Oh, so it was like a tapenade? Yeah. It was like a nut tapenade?

It was pretty bad. And so you'd try refrigerating it just to seize the oils so you could spread it, but then it gets too hard. It was, man. That sounds really unenjoyable. You're getting scammed at the Brentwood Farmer's Market. I love the Brentwood. I used to sell cupcakes at the Brentwood Farmer's Market. Yeah?

Yeah. Kayla Bug 8. Ketchup makes cheddar goldfish and Kraft mac and cheese so much better. Do you mean like separately or together? Yeah. What is cheddar goldfish and Kraft? Are you saying you put ketchup on cheddar goldfish? And on the mac and cheese? Or do you put

cheddar goldfish on the mac and cheese and put ketchup on it? I have a very high tolerance for hot ketchup on top of like a burger. Okay. But when that ketchup steams on top of mac and cheese and you try and take a bite and you get mac and cheese steam diffusing through the ketchup I love it. It's tough for me sometimes.

I love it it i ate ketchup with my eggs the other day and david looked at me like i was from a foreign body he was like what are you doing i love ketchup on on like cheesy things so you know i do sometimes sometimes i just make like a plain frittata which is to say i beat eggs and then put it in the oven until i forget about it and then it just becomes like a hard brown egg substance and then I just dip that in ketchup and eat it. Yeah, you used to make those egg bars. Egg bars! You want to know how gross Josh is?

How gross is he? He would make these egg bars with vegetables in it and he would just leave them in the back of the fridge and then they started to gray. Yeah, well they turned real gray. Yeah, so what you do is you beat together about 30, and then they started to gray. Remember when they turned gray? Yeah, well, no, they turned real gray. Yeah, so what you do is you beat together about 30 eggs,

and then you add a bunch of vegetables and meats to it, and then you'll bake that off in a giant sheet pan, and then you cut that into 10 bars, and then you leave that in foil wrapped in the fridge at work for about 10, 12 days, and then Nicole tries to throw them out, and you go, those are my egg bars, what are you doing? She goes, they're gray. And I go, that's the mushrooms. She goes, no,? She goes, they're gray. And I go, that's the mushrooms.

She goes, no, that's just the eggs turning gray. And I go, either way. And that's just a little fun insight into our lives. Well, on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or at Handizato with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube

where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. See y'all next time.