A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What Time Does Brunch Actually Start?

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

It's bottomless mimosa, avocado toast, eggs Benedict Cumberbatch season... but what time does brunch ACTUALLY start? Vote for us in the Webby Awards! Our self esteem depend on it! https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2022/podcasts/general-series/arts-culture To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this. Let's win. I want to win. I want to win. I want to win. Yeah, you keep saying that. I believe you. Me too, man. I need it. I have low self-esteem. I know some people think I'm a narcissist, but no. Both.

It's down here. We need to raise it up here, Nicole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're down here. We're down here. Up here. And we're going to do that if we win a Webby. Please vote for us.

Get in batch. It's bottomless mimosa season. this ginger needs her jiggle juice. You don't even have red hair. Nicole, it's just an expression. This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaidi. And Nicole, today we're talking about what time is brunch. And this is something that's come up organically in my life because I get infuriated when people propose a brunch time that I feel is inappropriately out of the brunch window.

What is the brunch window with which you peer out of, Josh? really out of the brunch window. What is the brunch window with which you peer out of, Josh? The brunch window that I peer, from whence I peer. I read Shakespeare in high school. Brunch is a portmanteau, right? It's a combination of breakfast and lunch. Yes.

Therefore, the only acceptable brunch time has to fall between breakfast and lunchtime. Which is what time? So breakfast time is, one, I eat about three breakfasts these days. I'm on my third breakfast by 11 a.m. Oh, wow. So for me, the results are a little skewed, but breakfast is the morning time whenever you wake up. But to me, lunch. Lunch is not until 1 p.m.

That is when lunch officially starts. And hold on. Whoa, what? Is that controversial? No. I mean, it's a little late in the day. No, but yeah, that's why he had three breakfasts. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Because you have pre-workout with some carbs, and then you have post-workout protein. All right. And then you eat a couple spoonfuls of chicken salad at 11 a.m., and that's three breakfasts. No, no, no. Those spoonfuls of chicken salad are your lunch. They're your pre-lunch. No, the spoonfuls of chicken salad at 11 a.m are brunch they're your if you wanted to get if you wanted to get pre-lunch oh my god okay no no but for

real like if you are going to brunch with your friends what time you have you have a ton of friends i like have friends yeah y'all go to brunch sometimes what time um The typical time, it has to be after 11.45. Okay. I don't 100% disagree with that because I think that like 11 a.m. is too early to get the party started. There's, okay. There are different brunch times for different people. Like if I'm going to brunch with my mom, like we're there at like 10.30. Yes. Like if I go to brunch.

Is that not just breakfast? I don't know because the menu has a chicken sandwich on it. Yeah. So what are you supposed to do if the menu says batter chicken sandwich? Like what are you supposed to say? This isn't a breakfast item? Like that's so rude of you. Like why would you do that?

So I think brunch depends on the grouping you're with. I've never been to a solo brunch before. Have you? No. That's weird. Oh, one time it was like after the dentist and I had a bad time. So I don't know why I did it. I was like half numb, but they didn't like fully numb it.

They gave me just like... You were like this? Yeah. That's awesome. What's that one really expensive place where the white ladies make the Persian food? Republic. No, no, no. Come on, come on.

Kismet. Kismet. Kismet. Kismet. Yeah, yeah. I went and got like... I spent like $70 on leaving hungry. But that was probably the last time. I was like rewarding myself for going to the dentist on a Saturday.

Nice. And they straight up filled a cavity without novocaining me. Ouch. They gave me like the tiny bit of the topical numbing stuff. Okay, and I didn't do anything. And it's like real old school dentists, like literally grew up dentisting in the USSR. Interesting. So they were just like, we don't need novocaine, we can just go in.

And so I rewarded myself with a solo brunch And it was a terrible experience Because brunch is social Yeah The whole point of brunch Is to have it with One other person at least A table of seven Oh

Oh man I've been kicked out Of a brunch buffet In Reno, Nevada For taking bottomless mimosas Too far One time I worked out As a hostess

At a place in Manhattan Beach And one time A girl had her 21st birthday In bottomless mimosa brunch And she threw up everywhere. And then we had to caution tape the whole area. And that's all I got to say. Brunch is like the modern American hedonism.

It really is. It's bacchanalia. It's bacchanalia. It's like the Roman feasts where it'd be like the kings ate for 36 straight hours. They ate a bushel of grapes and drink a barrel of wine. I have to ask you, is brunch as enjoyable without bottomless mimosas? I have reached the point in my life where I just buy things that I want, but I don't buy anything expensive, right?

I buy my t-shirts at Target so I can just buy as many $15 cocktails once a month when I want to. Sure. And so I'll go to a brunch and accidentally order like $70 worth of liquor, which is pretty upsetting when the tab comes. That's happened a fair amount of times. And so I don't necessarily chase bottomless mimosas. I can just order all the drinks that I want to.

I love bottomless mimosas. I love mimosa places. I mean, like, I'm sorry. I love brunch places that offer like three different kinds of liquids. There's your classic orange. There's your grapefruit. And then the elderberry. It's like, what are you doing here, elderberry?

Are you from the cast of Bridgerton or something? You're so classy. I think the mimosa offsets the experience because you're probably, you know, dropping, what's it called? Dropping tea? What is it called? Spilling tea?

Spilling tea. Yes, you're spilling tea. I'm not hitting. You kids out there dropping the tea on the tiki-takis? I only pretend to be cool. I'm not cool. You kids out there dropping the tea on the tiki-takis. I only pretend to be cool. I'm actually not. But, you know, you're going to go spill the tea. You're going to go do the hot goss with all your friends.

You're going to get an Uber. You're going to look cute. You're going to put on top eyeliner. Like, it's a thing. I do generally put on top eyeliner when I go to brunch with all my girls to drop the tea. So I do identify with this. But, no, brunch can't be. I think the ending point at brunch has got to be 2.45. That is absurd. That is linner. I mean, 2.5 is a late lunch. Do you believe that that brunch has to be

temporally located between breakfast and lunch? I mean, you think theura can be eaten at any time of the day. You can just have the shrimp. No, but like, do you think that brunch has now like surpassed the original breakfast meets lunch meaning? And now it's just an event where you get hammered off of juice and the cheapest champagne money can buy. I mean, getting hammered isn't like the main point. I do think it's the camaraderie and eating eggs. Eggs are a big part. Eggs have to be there. Eggs,

if you're not eating eggs at brunch. Yeah, that's true. I don't get it. Like, yeah, go ahead. I was gonna say, I think you're right with the fact that

there's two different brunches, right? Okay. At least the two that I participated in, which is Granny Brunch. Okay. Where we go to her old folks home

and they have like this giant, you know, last time we went there, they had a whole salmon that had like the cucumber scales on it. Wow. And just like a spoon and you know, last time we went there, they had a whole salmon that had like the cucumber scales on it. Wow. And just like a spoon, you just spoon off the salmon.

Classic. And yeah, they had all the Jew foods for the old like Jewish World War II veterans that live in this old folks home. You know, there's like defrosted lox and the mini Sara Lee bagels and the Philadelphia cream cheese packets. Okay. So there's that, which starts at 10.07 a.m. Yeah.

And goes till 11.30 when, you know, Granny gets tired. And that's that brunch. You know, you're drinking coffee out of a styrofoam paper cup and there's inexplicably a whole cooked salmon. OK. And then there's the bottomless mimosa batch brunch, which I love that to me. I've noticed that friends will be like, we're doing brunch at 2 p.m., which is bonkers to me because there's no, you're still getting eggs on the menu. Yeah, I mean, but you have to think about it this way.

So let's just say you go, like maybe you're going on a hike beforehand. Maybe you're going out beforehand. Maybe you're going like, well, my perfect, have you ever been to Bungalow? Yeah, I've been to Bungalow. Bungalow is the, it is the only time I have ever used celebrity status

to get anywhere. It works? Okay, so I was to Bungalow. It is the only time I have ever used celebrity status to get anywhere. It works? Should I try it? This is a bar. I'm going to try it. This is like when you are 23 years old in Los Angeles and you want to feel cool, you go to Bungalow. It is the longest line of any bar I've ever been to. It was literally an hour long.

And I was waiting in it. And somebody comes up to me. He's wearing an earpiece. And he goes, hey, that chef from Good Mythical Morning. He's wearing an earpiece and he goes, hey, that's Chef from Good Mythical Morning. And I go, yeah. And he goes, cool, man. And I go, hey, hey, hey, one sec. I've never done this at all and I don't plan on doing it much in the

future, but is that enough for you to just let me cut through all of this? Were you alone? No, I was with Julia and she's good in these situations. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he did. And so shout out to the head of security at the bungalow. If you're listening to this head of security at bungalow, please let me in. My name is Nicole Anaheity, and I'm also a ship. Good morning.

Let me in. I'm tired of standing in that damn line for no reason. It's not that we're desperate for clout. It's that I want to get in line. I get faint in line. It's a health hazard at that point. No, but think about it this way. Like, you're going to go to bungalow with the ladies.

Maybe some guys are going to be there. And, you know, the line is so damn long and it's hot. So you're going to have brunch from 12 to like 245. You get up, you walk over and then you just go and you have a good time. I think we need a new word. What? Because I think like a spork, right? A spork is a combination of a spoon and a fork.

And if I were to have gotten a spork that did not adequately fulfill both of the needs and the functions of a spoon and fork, I would feel misled that that was not indeed a proper spork. If I am going to a brunch at 2.45, to me that is not fulfilling the properties of breakfast and lunch, and I feel it needs a new name. No way. You can't call it Leonard's Not Sexy Br—Linner's Not Sexy Brunches. Linner's Not Sexy Brunches. It's not an objectively sexy word, though. Okay, what about this? What about we call it Dunge?

Dunge. Let's go get some bunch of Dunge. Let's go to Dunge. No. Dame Judy Dunge. You know what I'm saying, though? Like, I think we need to keep some sort of purity no no I think once the sun starts to go down around 455 that's whenever it's dunch I I'm calling it dunch do you eat dunch do you do you ever do like that big like mid because I don't like it I normally eat

dinner like 8 30 p.m I do too nowadays like 8 what's your like what I eat in a day like when do you eat what times do you eat? Well, I wake up in the morning and I have a coffee and then I come to work and then I normally make myself two eggs with cheese and some sort of like chicken breast or like turkey breast like slice thing. And then. Are you eating that at what? Like 9? 9.40.

Yeah. 9.45. And then I snack, snack, snack, snack, snack, snack, snack until about like what time is lunch for us? 1.30. We've been eating lunch late at like 2. Yeah, like 1.30, snack, snack. Until about like, what time is lunch for us? 1.30? We've been eating lunch late at like 2. Yeah, like 1.30, 2.30. So you're doing breakfast at like 10 or like let's say 9.45.

Yeah. Lunch at 2.30. 2. And then I go home and then I have dinner at like 7.45, 8. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. And then the weekends, what do you do?

Oh, whatever I want. How often are you going to brunch though? I don't go to brunch that much anymore. I hardly do anymore. I'm a married woman. I have a house. I have a cat now. I have to, you know, sit there and be an adult.

And you have, like, baby, you do Shabbat every Friday. I do. So you, like, get that socializing, that big performative meal. Yeah, I do. Through that. Which is the purpose of Shabbat. A lot of people just think it's, like, oh, religious. No, it's to, like, see what's going down.

Hey, you're kibitzing. Yeah, no, you're shooting the shit. You're kibitzing. Yeah. No, you're shooting the shit. You're there to shoot the shit with your with your family or friends. You kind of get like that brunch thing fulfilled on Fridays. Thanks, Judaism. This podcast is brought to you by Jews. Juicy juice.

Juicy juice alternative for Jews. No, I love. Let me tell you, if I could go to brunch every Sunday, I don't, Saturday brunch, I don't like. Why? Needs to be Sunday. But do you drink? Do you drink on a Sunday? In the morning? Yeah. I don't, I can't, I get the Sunday scaries where I'm like, I have a lot of stuff to do on a Sunday. Oh no, what kind of mentality is that, Josh? Should be Sunday happies. I have so much to do. I mean, I enjoy my job, but you know what I mean? No, yeah, no. Sunday happies. I have so much to do.

I mean, I enjoy my job, but you know what I mean. No, yeah, no. On Saturdays, you have to rest. You have to recuperate from your week. Monday through Friday, you've been grinding. You've been pushing. You've been kicking ass. And then on Saturday, you kind of lay there and do nothing.

And then Sunday, you're like, okay, I'm going to go put on some top eyeliner and a frilly top. I'm going to go eat Eggs Benedict with my girls. Interesting. I, though, like to have a big Friday night where I push myself over the edge to complete exhaustion. Like literally, we will wrap filming at, say, like 7 p.m. There have been many Fridays where we have wrapped filming, say, like 6, 6.30, long day on set, long day of cooking and being engaged. And then I will go straight to the gym

and then I will hit a really hard workout and I will change underneath the bridge and then I will go straight to the gym and then I will hit a really hard workout and I will change underneath the bridge and then I will just leave my car here and I will just Uber to like a bar with friends and then just, you know, go out into Koreatown. I'll eat oxtail stew at two in the morning and then all of Saturday and Sunday are just spent recovering.

And so for me, there's like no room for brunch in my life because I'm eating a 2 a.m. Korean. Yeah. Kori Karbijim is the name of the dish. And it is the best drunk food in the history of the world. Sounds great. At Sunnongdan. I just don't know.

I just, I guess you're right. I guess I get my kicks on Friday night. And then, but the thing is when I'm with my family on Friday, I don't get to like gossip and like kiki as much as I do with like my friends. So brunch does have utility for you. Yeah, but also I do hang out with my friends during the week. Wait, you do stuff during the week? Who does that? Yeah. Maggie, you do too? Yeah. Social. I go home and I like

stare at a wall and then somebody will be like, want to do something? And I don't answer their text until Friday night. That sounds like a you problem. Of course. I make plans with people you know what i hate what's that brunch at 9 45 get out of here who the fuck is doing that get the fuck out of here brunch at 9 45 9 45 wait hold on so when when we were initially like talking about this idea because this just came up up because I was pissed off that a friend was like brunch at 2.30 and I was like brunch gotta be breakfast. And then I started actually doing some research on when the term brunch was coined. Okay.

Let me introduce you to my new homie Guy Berenger. Guy Berenger. Guy Berenger. He wrote an essay called Brunch a Plea in 1895 for Hunter's Weekly. called brunch a plea in 1895 for hunters weekly and it was literally just him trying to be like hey let's get this whole brunch shit going because the alternatives suck and i guess what the whole deal was they would do these like post-church meals that were kind of stodgy and this guy was like yo brunch is this like new thing this is apparently the first time the word brunch was like issued in how cool okay uh and he. So he says, brunch is cheerful,

sociable, inciting. It is talk compelling. It puts you in a good temper. It makes you satisfied with yourself and your fellow beings. It sweeps away the worries and cobwebs of the week. And literally the last line of this is just, and this is 1895 PS beer and whiskey are admitted as substitutes for tea and

coffee. Nice. And so it was literally like, I thought brunch was going to be like, well, minors used to get off the mines at 9 a.m. and so they needed a, you know, between breakfast. And no, it's literally a like boozy brunch betches,

but from 1895, a dude named Guy Berenger. And so, and also he says in this article that brunch starts between noon and noon 15. So like my whole thesis of brunch needs to be in that hour between like, like to me, brunch is ideally before noon because afternoon is lunch.

Bullshit. I'm just dumb. Guy Berenger, 1895. He debunked it. I don't know, man. I still think there is merit to getting up really late

on a Sunday and going and eating Eggs Benedict at 2.30. There's something about that that is okay. I think what we're deciding here is that brunch is just freedom. Right? Like brunch is for brunch. There's something about that that is okay. I think what we're deciding here is that brunch is just freedom. Right?

Like brunch is free. Nicole, there's eggs next to fried chicken sandwiches. It's wild. Fucking granola, you know, next to salads. Who gives a shit? It's brunch. You're throwing up mimosas in Manhattan Beach. It's brunch. I hope that girl's okay. It's her 21st birthday.

She was so embarrassed. I still remember what she was wearing. You're getting kicked out of that girl's okay. Oh, yeah. It's her 21st birthday. She was so embarrassed. I still remember what she was wearing. You're getting kicked out of Reno, Nevada because you keep smoking cigarettes while drinking your mimosas and there's children around and Reno's a weird place. You drink 18 of them. And then they say, we can't keep watering them down. You're just going to go into diabetic shock from all the sugar from the orange juice before any of this watered down champagne kills you.

Nicole, that is the essence of brunch. Do you have diabetes? I was pre-diabetic when I was a kid. Shut up. No way. Oh, yeah. Pre-hypertensive. I thought I had a thyroid disorder, too, so I was just like real big.

And now you're here? Yeah. Look at me go, man. Look at you. Wow. We beat the odds. We did it. I mean, I guess it has a lot to do with freedom, but what you're doing, having oxtail stew at 2 a.m., what is that?

If not, deck fist. Oh, you know what it is? Deck fist. Nah, dude. Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Fifth meal? It's like in my actual life.

It's like seventh meal, though. If you really looked at it, I'm eating seventh meal at like 2 in the morning. And it's my absolute favorite meal of the day. Like that to me is where I'm at my best.'s where all not not the tea is coming out that's where like all of the weirdest conversations yeah you talk about like death and like marriage and taxes and gross stuff yeah yeah no you talk about like all the deepest things in your life and like it can go from anywhere it can go from like raunchy and sexual to just like you're crying with your best friend because of something that

happened 12 years ago oh that's my brunch it's what we're searching for nicole is just catharsis right brunch is catharsis brunch is catharsis it is freedom it is catharsis what's your favorite brunch meal okay so my favorite brunch that i had it was the last day of service of one of i believe our mutually favorite restaurants a-frameFrame. It was a Roy Choi restaurant that was kind of like Hawaiian themed and they had an incredible brunch and I'll never forget the last brunch I went because I had four beverages, only one of them alcoholic. I literally had a cocktail. I had a kombucha.

I had a coffee and I had a juice. Wow. And then I got all you can eat pancakes. They're all you can eat pancakes. With passion fruit butter and macadamia nuts. Oh my God, so good, so good. I got all-you-can-eat pancakes with passion fruit butter and macadamia nuts. Oh, my God. So good.

So good. And I got a plate of Spam, longanisa, mac salad, rice, and over-easy eggs. That sounds really good. And that, to me, was the ideal brunch. Four beverages. You got the caffeine to bring you up. You got the alcohol to bring you down. You got the kombucha to settle the tummy. You got the juice for the vitamins.

You know? That sounds great. All of it's there. That sounds delicious. And that's my typical ordering strategy at brunch. Everything? Yeah. Correct. Yeah. And that's my typical ordering strategy at brunch. Everything? Yeah, correct. Yeah.

I love Salmon X Benedict. Yeah. Always. I don't like people that get pancakes at noon. That's sus. Wait, wait. No, no, no. Pancakes for the table, of course.

Oh, you do pancakes for the table. Always do pancakes for the table. Any sort of sweet. Because who just wants to eat a plate of pancakes for their main meal? Not me. And so, I mean, Julie and I go anywhere even if we're with like eight people we just start ordering things at will and

force other people to pay for it. Oh, you're that couple? You don't even ask. You just order. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if people have dietary restrictions? We don't have friends with dietary restrictions. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? We got like one who doesn't eat pork until we go like, come on. I'm not trying to fork pork on her. I'm not trying to force pork on her.

I'm not trying to force pork on her Jewish friends. You're not a pork forcer. I'm not a pork forcer. Don't call me. You can't just throw out allegations like that. You're a pork forcer. You're a pork forcer. I'm not a pork forcer.

Anywho, what's your general ordering strategy at brunch? I haven't been to brunch in so long. You don't get it. Like there's certain parts of my life that I've just changed've just changed since i started working here number one number two since i got married like there's things i just don't i don't go to brunch that much anymore do you miss it yeah yeah there's something very uh like you said freeing about brunch it's like i have no worries i have no cares this is my time to just eat drink be married talk show with my friends but do you think you have more work do you think now you have more worries and cares yes and that influences you of course it's

so hard the weekends for me are like i mean this last weekend was like aside from going out and then just being kind of hung over and resting it was like uh taxes it was laundry it was like figured out and you need to get the cat new food because he keeps throwing up his old food. It was like, you know, meal prepping, you know, cleaning the apartment like that's weekends are now where, you know, I'll have one big grand hurrah, you know, of just doing a weirdly earnest rendition of creep by radio headed a Korean karaoke bar and then eating short ribs, too. And then it's just like business. Got to figure it out. And there's like no time in my life for brunch anymore yeah there's something i think you're right it's like going out during the daytime like that is something that's very youthful and very yeah

all your freaking kids out there going and having fun in the daylight it's amazing wait until the shame of night falls for crying out loud the way that you feel going, listen, brunch, Santa Monica, the sun is beating down, you're wearing your cutest outfit, you have your little high heels on, but not too high because you're going to be,

you know, dancing and going about. Like, it's just so freeing and I do miss it. I do miss brunch a lot and I think brunch should be at 11.30 to 2.30 because I'm going to sleep in

and I want to enjoy myself and look good and do my hair and you know what I mean? It's like a very, it's a very like feminine fun thing that I wish I could do more. Actually, last time 2.30 because I'm going to sleep in and I want to enjoy myself and look good and do my hair. And you know what I mean? It's like a very, it's a very like feminine fun thing that I wish I could do more. Actually, last time I went to brunch, it was, it was a very boozy brunch and it was for a friend's birthday and it was also for pride. And we went to the Abbey, which is a very popular, but a very inclusive and diverse

gay bar. But I did get asked to leave because I was dancing on the pole. And you're not only if you're sanctioned, only if you're certified are you allowed to dance on that pole. You didn't show them your pole dancing certification? No, I tried to show them with my moves that I should be certified. But there weren't even any dancers there yet. So it's not like I was

taking the tips out of the Go-Go Boys, you know, G-strings. I was like, I was just up there vibing. No, no, no. I don't know. But that was the last like boozy brunch that I did. I was respectful and nice. I apologize. That's good. That's really nice of you. But no no I don't know But that was the last like boozy brunch that I did I was respectful and nice I apologize That's good that's really nice of you but no I need to go to more brunches I think we should go together as soon as I said that

I was like oh when When are we going to do that I don't want to This weekend I'm going to a track meet you know not to compete With what Oh I thought you were saying not to compete with what I'm doing I'm like what are you talking about I don't have anything going on In case you thought that I saying not to compete with what I'm doing. Oh, no. I'm like, what are you talking about? I don't have anything going on.

In case you thought that I was going to run or throw or jump. No, I know you don't do that anymore. You're just going to go enjoy the sport of it all. Yeah, like watch beefy boys throw metal balls. Yeah, that's good. What are you doing? What am I doing this weekend? What am I doing this weekend instead of brunching?

Like, truly. What am I doing this weekend? Well, I have to look at my calendar. I really write everything down On a big massive calendar And then I also write it Into my digital calendar So I know exactly

What's going on Oh it looks like nothing It looks like nothing Nothing But you still Wouldn't consider I can't What do you mean you can't?

I gotta take care of Nicole's freedom I gotta take care of my man I gotta take care of my laundry I gotta take care of the dishes I got so much to do I gotta dye my hair Passover's coming up I gotta look care of my man. I gotta take care of my laundry. I gotta take care of the dishes. I got so much to do. I gotta dye my hair. Passover's coming up.

I gotta look good for Passover. Rage, rage against the dying of the light, Nicole. Neither of us are even 30 yet. I feel 50! Bro, I feel 50! Are you kidding me? I got these old joints. I'm in a weird position right now because my back just hurts.

Are you taking your magnesium? No, you know what? I missed two days of krill oil and glucosamine and i feel it sister you should put it but they should be putting that in your mimosas should be putting krill oil in your mimosas at least rim it i know but so far we've only been talking about brunch in the american context yeah that's true and i think you know where i'm going with this because the best form of brunch dim sum and i don't know if it's like messed up to call it brunch because it's it's its own thing i've only been once you've only been to dim sum oh no like an oh no no no like og dim sum car situation i mean like an actual dim sum restaurant like that is what they're not like we have one

section of dim sum no thing no no not like din tai fung like i'm talking about like an actual like cart place in like san francisco i went once i think that might be the new dignified way for you and i to get out there and brunch more because i'll tell you what you can't you can't just like get rowdy in the dim sum spot because there's a bunch of like chinese grandmas around and like you're you're already trying you're trying to be respectful of course you know um i went with davin though and like you know davin speaks mandarin uh and so he was and he like you're already trying to be respectful. Of course. You know, I went with Davin, though. And like, you know, Davin speaks Mandarin. And so he was and he like, you know, knows the codes of like which carts you can just snap at and be like, hey, bring me that like tofu and brown rice syrup. Absolutely freaking all the ginger syrup on the tofu.

So to me, that's like the dignified brunch type thing that we can get to. We can start gossiping with the Chinese grandmas, too. I'm so down. We need to lean into our age. We need to act our age. There's no more just getting schlitty. I can't do that anymore. Off of bottomless mimosas. Can't do it anymore. No. I'm not there. Go eat har gow and shumai. Okay. And do it.

I think that is my official plea. Okay, fine. You know how to play mahjong? I'm gonna learn from a Chinese grandma. I only know old Jewish grandma mahjong and it's different than Chinese Mahjong Well we're gonna learn both ways We're gonna learn that's it there's no raging against the dying of the light Dylan Thomas was wrong

Whoever the heck that guy is Don't go gentle into that good night Oh oh oh oh God I'm old I've never read that I just know what that is You know what I mean Me and you dim sum Carts grandmas Mahjong No alcohol only tea know what that is. You know what I mean? No, okay, fine. Me and you, dim sum,

carts, grandmas, mahjong, no alcohol, only tea. I'm in. Cool. Freaking down, man.

Alrighty, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casserole! But hey, Nicole, before we get into that, as many of you likely know,

Rhett and Link have spent over a decade tasting, rating, and ranking everything from the world's most expensive desserts to 40-year-old ham and eggs. And thanks to that, now they have a TV show. That's right, Josh. This Sunday, their series Inside Eats with Rhett and Link premieres on Food Network and Discovery+. They head into their favorite restaurants asking questions like, what does your Chipotle order say about you? Sounds familiar, huh?

And what happens when you order an entire cheesecake factory menu? Sounds familiar again, doesn't it? Sure does, Nicole! Be sure to watch the premiere of Inside Eats with Rhett and Link this Sunday at 10.30 p.m. on Food Network. And for even more bonus footage, check it out on Discovery+.

Can't wait to tune in. I actually can't. I really can't wait. Not that I thought you were sarcastic, but no, I'm really stoked to watch. And you and I are in one of the episodes. We sure are! No spoilers!

No spoilers, but I had a really great time and I ate some incredible food that was very jarring to me in a good way. So jarring. In a good way. Slap in the face. Pow.

All right. First up, we got at KenzieLikesYT. Chew some strawberry gum for a bit. Then after you spit it out, pour some lemon juice and sugar in your mouth and boom,

instant lemonade. Hear me out. Just make lemonade. Yeah. My problem with this is it's the opposite of instant. You started by saying, chew some gum for a bit. That's to make your spit more active. I know, but I'm saying that's the opposite of instant. If you have to

chew gum for a bit to do anything, I'd say it's no longer instant. Sounds like fun, honestly. I mean, it sounds like a good time. You got kids, you keep them occupied for like an hour, hour and a half and you really want to mess up their teeth. You can eat lemonade in your mouth? That's silly. I know this exact sensation and it is a delight, though. I will say that.

Yeah, there's something about like half disintegrated sugar that really like hits me in my heart. Listen, I'm a guy who would just, I would just crunch on teaspoons of sugar for a snack. Oh, that explains so much. You said you were pre-diabetic as a kid? There you go. I used to drink a gallon of cran-apple juice a day. I thought it was good for me because it was juice. Cran-apple?

Yeah, I drank so much store-brand knockoff ocean spray growing up. It was really like 2,000 calories of just pure juice. No one told me it was not great for you in large amounts. Well at least you don't know. Okay. C. Mitch Kodrums

says pizza dipped in applesauce is fire emoji. I'm mulling this around in the old mouth mind machine. You know put it on the spin cycle

in the old mouth mind. I don't know that i can see it maybe if it's a barbecue chicken i can see that i mean yeah do you ever have those pizzas that are like pear and gorgonzola yeah i don't know that i ever quite enjoy them as much as i enjoy reading them you know what i mean i read it and i go oh that's nice so accurate holy shit oh my god you're like. Oh, my God. You're like, why did I do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. No, you never enjoy putting it in your mouth, but you read it and you go, oh. Is that arugula? Yeah, no, 100%. That's so funny. Oh, balsamic drizzle on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Maybe using applesauce as the base of a piece of sauce. Stop. Why not? No, man. I don't know, man. I just, I got a bunch of like a date syrup, a bunch of Ceylon. Ceylon. Yeah, in my house right now.

And I've been trying to use it on like weirder stuff. It's good with like brie. Yeah. Yeah, put on some brie and some nuts. I'm putting like stews. I really like sweet meats. I know you do. And I like putting sweet meats in pizza.

Ooh. You know? Ooh. Why don't you just do like a little like Ceylon and like soy, like braised situation and then just put it over your pizza. Yeah. I think I might do that. Mmm. Mmm.

Yum-o. All right. I had Steve and Malima. Not sure if someone's answered this already, but I was listening to the Architos Chips episode and Josh asked about, that's me, Josh asked about soft drinks. They're called that because they have no alcohol. Drinks with alcohol are called hard drinks. Yeah.

I was actually um i was reading about the history of coca-cola or just earlier today okay and they started marketing it as quote-unquote a soft drink only during prohibition uh because you know ban all hard drinks and so they're like this is a soft drink they literally took the cocaine out of it nice to be like hey we no longer have cocaine in here good news it's a soft drink now so you can drink it during prohibition how interesting so prohibition was also cocaine i thought it was just alcohol i think it was kind of like everything to be a soft drink they couldn't have cocaine in it also cocaine just started like waning in popularity by then by then they i mean

like not popularity but like a legality people were finally catching on like hey maybe this shouldn't be just in you know a soda pop okay happy inside rtm says my secret guilty pleasure is a sunny side up egg with rice top the sriracha and popcorn with every bite not so secret anymore is it we got you got outed happy insider um is that what it was i said happy inside rtm i think it's happy insider tm oops i don't know what to read i don't know um well this is a great opinion i'm into it popcorn my eggs daddy i will not ma'am uh this isn't that guilty of a pleasure either to you you looked at me and you said daddy i looked at the camera i meggy can we run that footage back i didn't know she called me daddy and there's already a podcast that's like called that or something yeah and so i i don't know um you're stupid it sounds nice it sounds like half my brunch at a frame yeah you know they had popcorn chicken on their pan put some furikake on there i'm game i'm

all about this here we go go. Add Mark Renak Worcestershire sauce goes great with mashed potatoes. I know how they know that. I know how they know that too. Should I tell you how I know? You tell me how you know that they know it. So they cooked meat with Worcestershire sauce and then a little bit of the cooked Worcestershire sauce got on the potatoes like mmm.

Got dang right. Got dang right. Am I right? And you know who also has that same opinion? You do? No. The director of Mythical Kitchen, Ben. Oh dang right. Am I right? And you know who also has that same opinion? You do? No. The director of Mythical Kitchen, Ben. Oh, Ben. Oh, Ben was literally, he was literally telling me, he was like, yeah, my dad used to just like drown steaks in Worcestershire.

And so now anytime I taste mashed potatoes without Worcestershire and meat juice on it, I think it's weird. Yeah. Yeah. I went to the steakhouse and they had like steak sauce and it was gross. I hate steak sauce and it was gross. I hate steak sauce. Oh, ew.

I hate. It's like tang. A little raisiny tang. It's gross. Give me that. I hate steak sauce. Yeah, mommy. Give me that. Josh looked at me and said mommy.

I did not look at her. I looked at the table. I didn't call her mommy. I did not. Okay. Queen underscore of underscore ranch underscore found your new girlfriend, Josh. Hey, little lady. What are you doing on Friday night?

How about you, me, a bucket of Hidden Valley and some good times? You know, just let the feelings roll. You like brunch? I don't. Can I say something in your opinion? Yeah, go ahead. Say it. What are you waiting for? You're stalling. I don't. Can I say something in opinion? Yeah, go ahead. Say it. What are you waiting for?

You're stalling. I can't with you. Box mac and cheese with Granny Smith apples. Okay. Yeah, those are things that exist. No, that sounds gross as hell. What the fuck is wrong with you? Put corn in your mac and cheese, you imbecile.

Christ. That's mean. That's mean to your future girlfriend. Don't say that. That's fucked up. I mean, yeah, I understand it. I don't like it, but I get why you do it. Yeah.

Give me. Do gala apples. Do galas in there. And then I'm game. Oh, my goodness. You know, maybe a John of gold. You know, maybe a cosmic crisp, Nicole. Maybe, maybe a Cosmic Crisp, Nicole. Maybe a Honey, maybe an Enterprise

Apple, Nicole. What is an Enterprise Apple? It's one of the sturdier apples. An Enterprise was crossbred with a Honeycrisp to create the Cosmic Crisp. That's right, Nicole. All the flavor of a Honeycrisp and all the sturdiness of an Enterprise. Can you fucking imagine? I've never told you this before, but you're a really big dork. Yeah.

Real big dork uh there's something wrong with my head i don't know what it is but it's just ain't right it's good all right at the drew chef peppercorns in pabst are just hipster orbits what is this this is do you know what orbits are yeah but what why are people putting peppercorns in in pabst i don't know is pabst brewed with peppercorns that That's like a thing. Maybe this person puts peppercorns in their Pabst. It might be. I'm just fascinated by the fact that Pabst is now a hipster thing. I mean, it has been a hipster thing for

quite some time. PBR. Yeah, PBR. But yeah, so Orbitz, for those who don't know, they are little balls of floating goo. It was Boba before Boba was Boba. Before we knew what, before Americans knew what Boba was. True. It was probably in like the mid 90s that were popular. It was boba before boba was boba. It was, yeah. Before we knew what, before Americans knew what boba was. True. It was probably in like the mid-90s they were popular. It was like a kind of

thicker, clear, sweetened liquid that had little like balls of yellow, orange, blue sort of gelatin in it or something. Yeah. But they were suspended. Orbeez. They floated. Edible orbeez, pretty much. Edible orbeez. Probably microplastics. Probably ate a lot of them. Yeah. But yeah, so I guess you're sucking down, you know, the peppercorns and the paps.

But what, do you crunch on them? I guess. I don't. This is a very unique opinion. Nicole, why don't you know what this person's talking about? Why don't you know why Queen of Ranch and you aren't together right now in this room? I don't know. I really, you know, I'm committed to another.

You know, I like to self-sabotage as well. B underscore Bish3 says, Any type of bite-sized pasta, such as orzo, elbow macaroni, or ditalini, boiled and served in its pasta milk, sort of like a hot pasta cereal, was a struggle meal for me growing up, and I still think it tastes amazing. I get it. It's like starchy water. Yeah, sometimes I drive people away before they can drive me away.

You know, and so that's why I might come off as abrasive to people that I care about. Because it's like, what if I put my whole self out there and try as hard and earnestly as I can? Josh, I love you. I am not your therapist. Nicole said I love you. Of course I do. Inappropriate. She called me daddy.

She said I love you. It's messed do. Inappropriate. She called me daddy. She said I love you. It's messed up. Okay. Have some decorum. What are they? Did they just? Wait, hold on. They just called the pasta water pasta milk.

Can we get that? Like almond milk? How you like soak almonds in water? They just referred to that as the pasta milk. Semolina milk. And I think that's beautiful and poetic. I think they should make semolina milk. And I think that's beautiful and poetic. I think they should make semolina milk.

Yeah, I like Bee Beesh 3. You're my new romantic partner. Queen of Ranch, you're over. Bee Beesh 3. What's up? What are you doing on Friday? What's wrong with you right now? You're the one that started it.

All right. At Flavorslap101, sounds sexy. Eating Ritz salt side down is a superior Ritz eating experience. Did my dad write this? I just said your dad sounds sexy. This is a very, very good opinion, a specific opinion, an opinion I can wrap my head around.

Nah, I want the delayed salt release. I want the, what is it, the RX? No, XR. The XR Ritz eating experience. I don't know what XR means. Extended release. I want the, what is it? RX? No, XR. The XR Ritz eating experience. I don't know what XR means. Extended release. But, like, it's weird because, you know, you're supposed to eat it this way.

But then you flip it and you eat it that way. It's like. What do you mean supposed to? Who's out there policing this? When you get the box. The Ritz police? The little Keebler elves are coming out you get the box and you open the top of the box and then they're they're presented to you in a certain way well you could just turn it around you know what i mean i guess that's kind of

fucking crazy to me okay hobo underscore toaster when i was a kid, I put Scooby-Doo fruit snacks in between two cheeses. Best snack of my life. It was similar to jelly on crackers, except not. What the heck is going on? What are you talking about? It's similar to... It's not similar to jelly. Yes, it is.

Eating a rock is like similar to a banana. No, no, no. This is so funny because I understand. When you're a kid, in your brain, you're like, Scooby Snacks are just jelly, but they're hard. I guess, yeah. Yeah, and like a cheese, it's like a cracker. But cheese!

Yeah. No, this makes total sense. Hobo underscore toaster. You know what's really telling you? What are you doing on Friday night? You know what's really telling you? Hobo toaster, don't go out with Nicole. She's married. What's interesting to me is they said when I was a kid, dot, dot, dot, best snack of my life. That implies that they're not doing this right now, right?

But they were when they were kids. They were, but if it was the best snack of their life, wouldn't they try and chase that? Don't you think they have an imperative, Nicole? If you had the best food of your life when you were a kid, wouldn't you make that again? I don't think they would think it was the best food of their life. What Scooby snack is the best? The blue one? I don't know.

I don't eat gummies anymore because of my teeth. Yeah, you've got a bunch of them. A lot of dental work. I don't want to mess it up. All right. One more. Last one. It's a doozy.

Nicole, this one's a doozy. You ready for a story from at Rose Colombe? Born ready. One night, my wife and I got drunk and decided to make what we named cereal salad is that what they're calling it these days which was just every cereal we had in the cabinet put into a single bowl it consisted of fruity and cocoa pebbles cap and crunch frosted flakes and a couple others it was almost jarring how much we liked it we tried it again after we sobered up and it was still just as pleasing it was life- changing and this is now a regular breakfast for me.

One day I want to try every cereal together to see if it holds up. Nicole, every cereal together. I think this is a beautiful love story. And this is what you and I should always like achieve with our partners. Respective. Like, yeah, no, of course with our respective partners. I think this is like the point. Like you, this is the point of falling in love.

Okay. You get drunk and you just do stupid stuff together. And then then you sober like the stupid thing that we did make sense that we should do it all the time like that's the true meaning of love i'll tell you what this this friday uh at like 2 a.m jules and i got home from the bar uh-huh um and one we ended up at a weird dive bar by our house that like we never been to and they just had like 15 tupperwares out filled with random snacks that had probably been there for about seven hours you know some bars have peanuts and pretzels this place had like peanuts pretzels beef jerky six kinds of m&m's skittles just a loose tub of queso that i dipped beef jerky in did you say loose tub of queso it was just like it had a

skin on it yeah definitely and i kind of broke through it with the beef jerky uh anyway we got home and i started making salsas from scratch and grilling up quesadillas and it was like three in the morning and we're watching West Side Story just eating, you know, chicken quesadilla with Gansel Melmort or whatever his name is. Gansel Elcourt. I don't care.

With like an avocado, pistachio and za'atar salsa that I made. What a time. And that's my own version of this, you know, and that's what you're searching for with anybody. Lovely. That was sweet. Bye. And on that note, thank you for listening to Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or at Henny Zonda with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube, where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. We'll see you all next

time, and let us know if you liked us saying the F word a couple times. Yeah, we really liked it! It was really fun. Oh, and also, don't forget to vote for us in the Webby Awards. Yes, that's right, today's the last day to vote before the polls are officially closed. We are up for the Arts and Cultures podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No one is artsier or more culture than Nicole and I. No, no, no. But please, it'd be a huge win for us. We'd love to get it. Log on to the webbies. You have to make, just use a fake email account. Use the ones that you use for like, I don't know, your grandma sent you Evite birthday cards. Yeah, we have a direct link in the description. So click on that link. We want to beat LeVar Burton, baby. We really respect LeVar Burton's career.

I love him, but I want to beat him. He has 13 Emmys. I actually Goog beat him. He has 13 Emmys. I actually Googled it. He has 13 Emmys? He has 13 Emmys. We don't even have one Webby. What are you talking about? And I offered to trade him two Webbys for one Emmy,

and he didn't get back to me. I'm sorry, man.