A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best First Date Food? ft. Emily Fleming

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

Today, Josh and Nicole are joined by Meals Of History co-host and GMM Writer Emily Fleming to discuss what is the ideal first date food? Is pizza an unoffending, great first choice or should you go for something more daring? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Okay, ideal first date meal, go. Easy, broccoli, blanched, lots of garlic. Okay, Mr. Farts, go on with your bad self. Okay, Nicole, Mr. Farts was my father. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And today we are also co-joined, what the hell, that's not a word.

I like conjoined. We're conjoined triplets with Emily Fleming of Mythical Entertainment. Hey, how's it going? Also Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Aw, yep. You wrote a bit on Veep that didn't make the air. That was cool. No, no, no.

I was in Veep, but I was a deposition attorney that you do not see, but I am talking off camera to the people. Keep up, Josh. The point is you have an incredible career and an incredible legacy, and. The point is, you have an incredible career and an incredible legacy. Thank you. Cut out the naughty word I just said. Your biggest legacy is that you,

I think to me, you're like the Dr. Drew of the mythical offices. You give the best dating advice. I don't think I give any advice at all. What are you talking about? All I do is tell stories about how horrible my past is with dating.

Yeah. And I don't know. Maybe that is a form of advice. I guess. I think Josh thinks it is advice. It's like, don't do this stuff. Wisdom. It's wisdom that you bestow upon mythical folk.

You're the wisest dater that I know. The wisest. I don't. If I was the wisest dater, I'd be done by now. Fair enough. I guess it's not really a volume game. But the reason we want to have you on is because today we are talking about the ideal first date food.

Okay. And you have talked about a lot of foods you've had on first dates. Yeah. And I feel like you would have some opinions on it. What do you think it is? Number one. I mean, I think pizza is the most neutral. Like it's, you aren't going to argue about it.

Maybe they'll show you a really cool new pizza place. I went on a first date not too long ago to Quarter Sheets. Very cool new pizza place in Los Angeles. I loved it. Even though like and there was a little bit of a wait, but the wait was cool because we got to get to know each other outside while we were waiting. That's a good point. In the open air, in the Los Angeles air. And then we finally got in and I was like,

I usually let the guy order. I like to split food. How do you go about that? Because I've never, no, I have ordered for people, but it's because they insist. But like, do you just be like, hey, I would like to relinquish this duty upon you? He picked the place.

So I was like, show me what your favorite stuff is here since this is your pick. Good job. And I usually, I mean, I guess I'm like, man, I got a people pleaser thing when it comes to dating. This is also a therapy session. I should get rid of that. But everything he ordered was great. And then I wanted cake. So I ordered the princess cake and it was like the best cake I've ever had.

I love princess cake. It was so good. I think about it a lot. I also think about just cake in general. I say I think about Trevor's cakes that he's made in general, which is true. What about reservations? No reservations? No reservations for that place.

How do you feel about that? I like reservations. I'm late all the time, so it stresses me out. That's bad to be late on a first date. Julia was late like 25 minutes to our first date. Wow. And we had a res, and I was just standing outside. You didn't sit?

No, they wouldn't seat me. Well, I also wouldn't want to sit. But I also wouldn't want to sit and wait for my date. I'd want to wait for them outside and then give them the awkward one-armed hug. The left arm just kind of dangles by your side. So she did a little power play on you. She's like, I'll be late and you're going to like it. Just let him sweat.

Knowing now her general tendencies, that wasn't a power play. It's just a life problem that she has. It's being late everywhere. Well, so so yeah the first date i like the idea of sharing stuff okay i love shared plates because also when you get your own entree i feel like you eat too much and then you're holding in farts for the entire first date farting is a big thing to consider i am i am mommy farts don't don't go mommy farts baby farts Don't go with mommy farts

Baby farts Also no If we get sued By the baby shark people For singing baby farts I swear to god That'd be the funniest way To lose a job

That'd be the best way To get sued Remix What do you think Is the best first date food Josh? I have a very specific strategy For food on first dates Okay

And I call that The stress test Where okay Especially I didn't start dating In my adult life Until I was like 27, 28 right civic strategy for food on first dates. And I call that the stress test. Where, okay, especially, I didn't start dating in my adult life until I was like 27, 28, right? It was in a long term relationship. Oh, got it, okay. And so for me, once you reach that 27, 28, it's like you're not just dating for funsies anymore.

You want to at least see a path forward to somebody. That's the goal I would imagine. Some people want to have fun and, you know, F around. Sure, sure. And then you eat whatever. They don't have a biological clock. That's what that is. My biological clock is ticking like this. Yeah, I can't stand that whole, like, I'm just going to have fun thing. I don't have time. Yeah, exactly.

I don't think you get it. Dudes have all the time. Yeah, that's true. Which they're proving that they don't, actually. Oh, really? I'm so into it. Their sperm is not good after 40. Really?

My little baby swimmers are dying in the window. Like, they don't make the good babies, or they just don't do the thing that they're supposed to do? I'm so into it. Their sperm is not good after 40. Really? My little baby swimmers are dying in the window. Like they don't make the good babies or they just don't do the thing that they're supposed to do? They can get there, but the there they get, it's not as good. I'm dating like the Mormon kids in high school did where it's like, yo, if we kiss, we're getting married. And so not necessarily like that. That's so cute. The point is I was looking for someone that i could at least spend a fair amount of time with sure someone that shares the same values with me and eating for me is a big value yeah i put a lot of you know sort of my life into and so i think you

gotta like eat the messiest foods possible you gotta share all the foods you gotta go like get ribs get some foods that challenge your palate a Oh, dang. A lot of fermented ingredients. You know? And like I know going to a fancy restaurant on a first date is. The worst. A bit loaded, right? People don't like it. No, don't do that.

But if that's something that's important to you, like Julie and I on a first date went to this restaurant Nightshade that was like. Ooh, that's cool. They had a tom yum battered bloomin' onion. They had like a $60 version of French onion dip that came with caviar. Mapo tofu lasagna. Mapo tofu lasagna. Really awesome restaurant.

It closed. Nah. And we ordered all five desserts on the menu. And so that was like an immediate, oh, we are connected in this way and we share a big hobby. That's really cool. And also the moment that I knew I really like fell for julia on our first date is when we were just locked into conversation one you know like how people hate people with podcasts that's the thing there was an article that came out recently that was about

that was about why women don't want to date quote the podcast guy because every guy is a podcast and i understand the general i'm gonna change that to tiktoker okay no podcast guys no i don't care like even if it's here's the thing if you're doing a podcast and you're i mean mythical is a different story like you guys are you've earned your way to this position thank you but um when you're just a dude or a lady who's doing a podcast, I hope you're doing it for fun, first and foremost. Because if you're doing it to, like, be super successful and you're like, this is going to take off, woof. I don't want to hang out with that person. There's a level of delusion to that.

But if you're doing it because you like to do it, then I think that's rad. I think it also falls into the overly enthusiastic about topics and that mansplaining vibe, you know? Like dudes that have a podcast think they have more to say than the average person. They like to hear the sound of their own voice. You're talking about that

white dude with a podcast. And I'm a white dude, you know, with a podcast. I mean, co-hosting a podcast. But I mean, hashtag not all white dudes with a podcast. I mean, co-hosting a podcast, Nicole, boom. Hashtag not all white dudes with a podcast. Thank you so much. But like Julia, she was like, hey, I listened to this really interesting podcast on Radiolab.

You should listen to it. Then at least we have something to talk about in our first date. And so we did. It was called The Right to be Forgotten. Love Radiolab. Wait, wait, wait. Backtrack. She gave me homework.

She gave you homework before your first date? And I loved it because then immediately we could talk about something that wasn't like what do you do what do you have a family oh my god you have a sister theme here about josh liking to be maybe dominated i love being told what to do and i take instructions really well i'm service oriented i kind of like the same thing josh i want to be told what to do same um because i i mean it's true i don't like being uh fully in control because i don't trust myself with my ideas all of i think maybe that has to do with like working in in this field because i'm not anyone's boss so i always go is this good how's this like do you like this oh my god like it's that's pretty much me looking at notes in my script all the time.

Matt, tell me if you like it. Did this make you laugh? I'm the officer. LOL. I have to make so many calls on a daily, on a daily basis, just on everything,

on a title, on a thumbnail, what do we cook, all this stuff that when I'm outside of my job, I don't want to make any decisions. No, no, tell me what to do.

That's exactly what it is. Decision fatigue is a thing. It really is. I looked at it on TikTok. Yeah. I think. Oh, so the second date I went on with this quarter sheets guy was Valentine's Day. Oh, that's a big, that's a big second date.

Do you think it was planned that way on his side? I don't care. Okay. It was like the day before Valentine's Day, but clearly it was, you know. And he took me to, what's that? What's the sushi place that's on Hollywood and Vine? Katsuya. Katsuya.

That's so nice. And that made me a little bit anxious because it was more expensive. Yeah, sure, sure. And he paid for the first date. And I like to, I don't like for guys to pay on dates all the time. All the time, sure. I like to like power move pay for the first date but i had just spent a lot of money on a trip and i didn't have much money and i saw the prices and i was like i can't be just some lady who just goes i'm i'm a yeah i'm a princess and you will buy me whatever i want i don't want to to do that. So I was just, I went,

you, you order again. And he ordered really good stuff, but it's like, I don't like their sushi, man. Really? It's just like,

I think it's a place that you go to be seen. Sure. Yeah. The atmosphere is, is the ticket price. And it made me super anxious to be in there. Yeah. But I know he was trying to do it to like be, I don't know,

like really sweet and impressive. Yeah. But then a fight was trying to do it to like be, I don't know, like really sweet and impressive. Yeah. But then a fight happened at the bar. Oh, that's fun. And then I was like, this is my kind of place.

That's the best first date meal. Go somewhere, go to a Waffle House where a fight's gonna break out because then it's dinner and a show. I think that if you, if you get to know me better,

I want to go places like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so it was, I think it was a good contrast to the two dates but i would have been because you can't just go to another pizza place i don't know i think second date is the most stressful i agree i think your first date should be as low touch as possible

right always there was no sit down dinners there was no movies too easy exits there you need to just get in see if you vibe, get out. That's how my first dates always planned out. Yeah, I don't usually do a get out. I usually go home with them. Oh, well, I get out. Me too. I have to leave.

But I don't do the do. Do the do? You don't do the do? Mountain Dew? Mountain Dew. First date sponsored by Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew with the guy. No, I don't do that, but I am going to make out and stuff.

Yeah, sure. Making out is fine. I do it in public. It doesn't matter. But when it comes to food, I always find myself leaning towards ice cream or frozen yogurt or a dessert. You're not even doing a full meal then on a first date. Never. Never, never.

Never. What about with David? What about with David, your husband? I was like, who's David? David. with David, your husband? I was like, who's the V? David. With David, our first date was ice cream. Really? Yeah.

We had it at Salton Straw. I don't even care for their ice cream, really. But he took us to Salton Straw and we walked around because who knows if we're not going to. With your little cone and like walking around? I am actually a cup girl. I had a cup with a spoon. Well, what I actually do is I get a cone and then I flip it over

and then I crumble the cone a little bit I like this and then I eat it with a spoon but yeah always ice cream frozen yogurt

dessert or a drink I never go I never used to go to dinner on a first date because what if I don't like them I don't want to share a meal with someone

I'm not vibing with yeah what is it a business transaction no I'm like looking for love I'm looking for intimacy so it used to be like messy food like you used to be like i ribs or wings or

handheld foods but like the older you get and the more dates you go on i don't have time to eat a basket of chicken wings with someone i don't want to you know sleep with do you think i mean i feel like this is probably a pretty easy question but women seem to have more bad first dates than men right and we're speaking in very heteronormative terms but these are our experiences do you think that's true um i don't because i'm awesome that's right because i'll dominate the conversation if you like let me do it and if he's not entertained by it then he is not going to be entertained for the rest of the relationship you put that on them because it's going to be a lot of this from me but i mean if he's funny too that's when it's great um sure if he's funny, too, that's when it's great. Sure. If he's funny and then he's also entertained by me, then I'm like, okay, cool. But if he's, oh, God.

Yeah, the worst first dates are when a guy asks you what you do. I don't want to talk about what I do for a living on the first date. I want to talk about, like, what are you into doing? Like, why do you like this restaurant and like what do you and your friends do that kind of thing what do you what'd you watch last like that kind of stuff so um yeah i don't like talking about what i do because the minute you talk about comedy is the minute a guy goes i should probably do that and you're like oh i'm like because it it implies that it's easy that that if I can do it, that surely any man can do it.

And I'm like, okay. So I'm not into that. But most first dates for me, I get pretty schnockered. And then I'm entertained. I know by how drunk I get, how much I like them. Because if I like them, I don't end up drinking very much. Great. And if I don't like them, I don't end up drinking very much. Great. And if I don't like them, I'm like, I got to get another drink.

Yeah. It's just like stat. You got to make yourself interesting. I'm going to be like shots. Like immediately I need shots. Sure. Yeah, I've been there. And then I'll still go home with them and make out.

Okay. But then the next day I'll be like, all right, we should do this again. And ghost. Yeah, yeah. I love when they go ghost on our behalf. I know. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, they know. Thank you so much. I love when they go ghost on our behalf. I know. You know what I mean? Yeah, they know.

Thank you so much. I had a couple that did that and I was like, you know, that's really nice of them. I appreciate that. Yeah. So you want like the ability,

you want something low touch so you have the ability to bail. So you don't want to invest that much into a first date. I mean, I don't see why the guy should even invest sitting down. Well, for me,

having a guy sit down and invest a whole meal if there's no point, if there's no future. For me, my theory on this and why like ice cream and coffee is a bad first date. It's not a bad first date. You can feel things out. But you don't get like the full experience enough to make that judgment call immediately. Disagree.

Whereas if we're going to like a place that makes neo-Neapolitan pizza, that's right. Pizzana. Pizzana. Neo-Neapolitan. What is neo-Neapolitan? So Neapolitan pizza. That's right. Neopizana. Neopizana. Neo Neapolitan. What is Neo Neapolitan? So Neapolitan, right, has very, it's probably the best pizza

in the world. I know a Neapolitan. Oh, pizza or ice cream? Pizza. All right. So they're doing new stuff, but the point is, so I once took somebody

on a date to Pizzana. So they were like, I like pizza. And I was like, Pizzana is my favorite pizza, but it's a little bit of a fancy, a little bit of a fancy thing. plus personal size pizzas natural wine stuff like that and we ordered wine and this person the the guy the server came and poured them a taster and

they stare at it and go what do i do with this and i was like oh you generally just drink it and go like hey that'll be great i'm gonna pour you a full glass and the server was like being cool and chatty and i hate that you could tell that they were just like nervous and then they go i've never drank wine before that's and i was like you know what and they're like i don't know i just drink hard kombuchas and then i realized that's not so sweet well no but but it was it was immediately a thing that they and it doesn't matter if you'd never drank wine before but you were curious about the process and you went into an unfamiliar situation exits are on the side of the building

but that to me is an immediate stress test if we went and we got ice cream maybe we would have had an interesting conversation but I would have left out like a big part of my life

and I know food's not that big of a part of everybody's life but to me that's what I mean by like weed it out early and then they were very sweet

and we went and got salt and straw afterwards and never yeah but you're not dating that person anymore what? you're not dating that person I'm not dating that person I hope they were very sweet and we went and got salt and straw afterwards and never yeah but you're not dating that person anymore what you're not dating that person i'm not dating that person i hope they're they're very happy and living a successful life i mean also the thing is ordering drinks when you don't know the person very well it's like do i show them how much of a problem i have how but no no but that's a question that's a question do you show them that off the bat yeah no i mean if I really like the person, no.

Yeah. But if I'm like, I got to get through this. I'm like, you're guarding yourself for the person that you really like. Well, also, the person that I went on that the pizza date with does not drink. OK. So it's like, but I still what I asked, like, I see that you don't drink. Is it cool if I do? And he was like, yeah.

And I was like, okay, cool. But I had two glasses of wine, which is not a lot for me. Remember when the doctor asks you, like, how many drinks per day? And he asks you if you're good to drive? I don't drive. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I always forget you don't drive. Everybody always goes, do you have, like, a DUI? I'm like, no. And that is exactly why I don't drive. Oh, yeah. I forgot. I always forget you don't drive. Everybody always goes, do you have like a DUI?

I'm like, no. And that is exactly why I don't drive. Good job. No, that's not true. There's a lot of reasons. You do have a DUI? No. Oh, you said that's not true.

I don't know what you're talking about. No, I don't have a DUI. Good. Keep it that way. Because I drink. No, that's not true. Because I drink, so I don't own a car. But that's not true.

I don't own a car for a lot of reasons. Yeah. I don't want to. Why are you... Can we... You mentioned a doctor asking you how much you drink. Can we just talk about how they're always shocked when you say, like, more than four? I would say zero.

Like, they've never heard of... Are they all just nerds who have never had more than four drinks in their life? No, I'm like, you're a doctor. I would be drunk all the time. Doctors are drunk a lot of the time. I know. It's like when dentists are like, you don't floss three times a day. No. It's like, you're a doctor. I would be drunk all the time. Doctors are drunk a lot of the time. I know. It's like when dentists are like, you don't floss three times a day. It's like not everyone cares.

Or you floss too hard and then you have gum recession. Oh, God. Which is it? Another recession. No winning. Another recession. But honestly, I never tell my doctors I drink. I always say zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero for everything.

Yeah. Do you guys say that? I lowball it. Okay. I lowball it. Okay. I lowball it because I haven't been drinking as much since January, which I'm pretty proud of. Good for you. Thanks.

But, yeah, I always go like, yeah, you know, like a couple times a week. I just have a couple. And it's like when I drink, like on the day that I drink, it's like eight. I went for St. Patrick's Day. Me and Michaela were hanging out. Actually, me, Michaela, and V went to – V did not want to come, but we made her come. We were at Margaritaville for St. Patrick's Day. Immediately, Michaela and I sat down and we were like, beer and a shot. Yeah, that's nice.

And then V got there and we were like, shots. It's all about intention. And then Michaela and I went and like, I don't know how many more bars we went to. But it was like, beer, shot, beer, shot. What's that called? A boiler room? A boiler maker. Boiler maker.

Which is like, I do usually like bourbon and a beer. But for, I don't know, if you're shooting it, then tequila is probably the best way. That's right. But yeah, we hit the—but I'm not going to do that on a date. A shot and a beer? I was a big shot and a beer girl. On a date? Like in front of a—

In front of a man! I'll do it in front of a man, Nicole! Any choice you make about food or drink on a date, right, it's not for no reason. It's to communicate something about yourself. Yes. So what were you trying to communicate with ordering a shot of beer? That I was down and cool. Yeah, exactly.

I was down and cool that I'm a cool girl, that I can do a shot of beer, and I can, you know, hang with the guys. Yeah, right. I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom. Yeah, exactly. So I just wanted to appear as, like, really cool and like and like not like another typical Persian girl, quote unquote. There it is. Yeah, because Persian girls don't know what a boiler maker is.

We're like skinny margarita. You're not like other girls. You like whiskey and pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did that change for you over life? Of course. Now I don't care. I'll do whatever I want.

Yeah. Especially on a date with my husband. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing about having a partner. He knows who you are. He gets it. It's a lot of sitting like this and just sucking out like shrimp. Also, that's another thing. A lot of the times

David is not a big seafood fan, like how your guy's not an alcohol guy. I'm like, do you mind if I get muscles? And he's like, sure. But I don't know if his sure is real or not. Yeah. Do you think he doesn't want to make out with you after that? No, I just think every like, every time he has, like, seafood, like, if he looks at an oyster, he, like, wants to vomit.

So whenever I tell him, like, oh, I'm going to get a dozen oysters with, like, my friends, he's just like, okay. That makes me worried for your intimacy. Oh, no, no, that's good. Our intimacy's great. That's great. All right.

That stuff's really good. He's not, no DJ Khaled-ing there. My biggest thing. I don't do that. What? I don't, because when I was 16, the first time he threw up.

Oh. The guy threw up? Mm-hmm. Nightmare. Wow, sock him in the face. So I don't do that anymore. You know, hey, well, okay, here's,

that's a great, no, that's a great lead in. That's a great lead in. Yeah. What that's ultimately about is that you finding a partner who satisfies your needs and you satisfy theirs. You're talking about going to like— I love how we're talking about eating on dates, but now we're talking about eating out.

On dates. Yeah, well, it's good. This is a family show. You better leave that in there. The family show. Yeah, okay. Not to bring sushi into this now after that topic especially, but for for instance, this two date couplet that you had going from pizza, which you said was like the ideal first date because it's low touch. You go there, you get a glass of wine, a beer, whatever.

And then immediately somebody thinking I should escalate that to a nice sushi restaurant. Because sushi is a pretty stereotypical answer of what's a sexy date night food. Of course. Not for everybody. Which is odd. So the key is to like listen to your partner about what they want when it comes to food yeah one of the best first dates i had was getting carne asada fries because this person said they love carne asada fries and

i was like let's go to my favorite spot in la for him but going on a first date it's like you're not really uncovering all those layers because you don't have to i feel like i feel like you should though to me like uncovering layers is what dating is all about. Hey-o! Is that a clothing gruffer? No, I'm not that guy. I don't know why I said I was that guy. Also, the worst, I think, for estate food

is anything that you have to deal with fork and knife. Like a steak. Really? How do you focus on what the other person says if you're like is this too big of a piece and am i gonna get okay and then like it's kind of hard to cut i don't know and then you get that big piece and then it's like oh this was too big and now we're chewing and now we're not talking and we're chewing ever and it's like i don't know steak

gives me anxiety also like if i order it am i ordering, I'm a medium rare girl. Is she going to think that I'm insane or a carnivore or something? No, I don't think you should think that way. But, yeah, I think that the steak thing stresses me out. For a first date, yes. For a third date, I'm going in with my hand, picking up the lamb chop and eating it. So Nicole's a third date stress tester when it comes to food. I guess. I think that's a great thing.

If you've invested that much time into you then it's like now I can do with food whatever I want fair fair and I think that's that's fair

actually I did that on a on like a third fourth date with a guy and I literally the lamb chops came and I just grabbed

the handle and I went to town and he stared at me like this and he was this close to saying I love you I swear guys that's the funniest thing

in the world I don't talk to him anymore. He's dead to me. I thought you meant he's actually dead. I was like, all right. Can I tell you real quick the third date that I had with this guy? Good job. I took him to Found Oyster.

Incredible. We went there. Paul, what a restaurant. Again, no reservations. Oh, my God. It wasn't that long of a wait. Must be nice. I mean, with two people people it's not so bad but um and i got we got like a bunch of oysters and and stuff like that and it was like

delicious and he was into it too so i was like this is a good and then it was like i picked it so i was getting to pick everything so i thought that was a killer third date. So I think that trio of dates is pretty solid. I like it. Pizza, sushi, I guess we went two seafoods. And then like, you know, oysters. No, but you went a different kind of seafood in a point where you two could sort of meet in the middle. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And that's great. Something that's familiar to you that you feel really comfortable with. Yeah. You know, and I think that's beautiful. And that's what, to me, food, right, during dating dating it's like a it's a my headphones fell to me food in dating it's a metaphor it's a way to communicate how empathetic of a person you are how responsive you are if

you're listening to their wants and needs right like i remember um god this one girl told me that she was really into sushi and i was like great and i And I booked at one of the top omakase spots. Wow. I didn't listen to what kind of sushi she was into. She was like, crunchy shrimp, please. She was into crunchy shrimp rolls. And so we show up to this omakase spot. And she tries ordering a side of spicy mayo.

And I was like, all right. What's wrong with that? I just wasn't listening. You can't do it at this place. Oh, that place. You know, this is like the servers are wearing Rolexes. And it was like a dude from Japan who's some rich lawyer from L.A. Flew out to Japan and was like, you, I want you to come back to L.A. for me and my buddies.

And then he opened up like a 12-seat sushi restaurant that cost a lot of money. And so it was, you know, egg on my face because I simply didn't actually listen to what they were saying. I was like, oh, I can impress you because you said one thing to me as opposed to actually going, oh my God, tell me more. What's the best sushi you've ever had? Why does it mean so much to you?

Yeah, but does she know who she's going on a date with? Probably not. She didn't really know. It's not that she's not listening. You're not listening to her. It's like- She doesn't know you. She doesn't know you.

Like she's not listening to you or like reading into that. I don't think they're listening to each other. But I always put- This is not a good relationship. I always put the onus on myself though. And I think that's like an important thing for me when it comes to relationships is I can't control what you think or what you feel. But I can control my own actions and the way that I respond to situations.

And so that comes into play with food too. When I was 21, I told myself, I'm like, the guy that I'm going to end up with, we're going to eat charcuterie boards together. We're going to have oysters together. That stresses me out. We we're gonna explore food we're gonna go to all of the fine dining restaurants the world has to offer and then when i grew i'm 29 now i realized all of those things are so like tertiary they're so unimportant right because the relationship i'm in now i am so fulfilled in other aspects i'm like i can go eat this food'm like, I can go eat this food with my cousin. I can go eat this food with and dined because I thought in my mind I was going to move to New York City. Sure.

And then I was going to be like I was going to meet a rich guy. Yeah. He was just going to shower me with presents, furs, diamonds, you know. Were you like 1921 New York? I kind of was. Were you a flapper girl? That's incredible. I think I imagined the whole like following your dreams

in New York City. And I did date a couple of guys, David Hot David, I've mentioned in an episode. I can't remember what episode it was.

A couple of like wealthy guys who kind of did that and they were the worst. Yeah. How do you think they got rich? They were terrible.

By being bad people. By being bad people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One was that like he sold insurance like the devil um and i know a lot of insurance salesmen well you know a lot of bad people i'm kidding no i do but no it was like oh so then i learned from that that i just want to do what i wanted like i gotta meet somebody on my level and going out to dinner. If you can't go to a hole in the wall or a dive or something like that, then I don't think we're going to get along. But yeah, I think dive bar pizza situation, way to go. I feel like I need to give you guys some advice against what I do real quick.

The people or us? The people. Okay. Yeah, we're done dating, right? Yeah, you're married and you're engaged. You're done. You have no more life to live. You know, I go home on the first date.

You shouldn't. Like they shouldn't or they should listen to their own heart? I can't give you that advice because you're nice kids. Whoever's listening to this is nice kids. And I'm almost, I'm like 5'10 and I have a taser. If a guy tries to mess with me or attack

me when I first go home with him, he's gonna die. You're like the drug dealer in the movies who like pulls a gun on a kid and is like, don't get into this life, kid. It's not for you. Stay in school. It can be a little dangerous going on a date with someone you don't know from a dating app. So just keep that in mind, kids.

I'm not saying buy a taser. A teaser? I'm a teaser with a taser. No, I'm saying just be safe out there and, you know, check for cold sores and stuff. The official dating advice, buy a taser. Yeah. Not bad. And protect yourself.

Taser condom, you know. Taser condom duo. The duo. Yeah, they should sell those in a pack. Yeah. And lube. I think French onion soup is the best. Ramen!

Oh, my God. But like, oh, a Caesar salad. Oh, my gosh. Yum. Ew., a Caesar salad. Oh my gosh. Ew. Sharing a nice omelet the morning after. Oh, fried oysters. Yum. You can't make out after a Caesar salad.

Kimchi pancake. Well, okay, here's one thing. Here's one thing. I can make out all the time. I can make out after anything, baby. You do stinky food make out? I love kisum. Stinky food make outs are my favorite.

I brought this up and I've i've brought this up with julia as well um i hate when people like brush their teeth or mouthwash before making out because i'm like no i want to taste your day i want to taste your whole day yes let's go nicole i don't like i don't want to taste the mints. I want to taste you. I wish I had your life. Oh, my God. That's so disgusting. We body swap and I just go home to David. Body swap is the same.

We're the same freaking person, Josh. So, dude, want to play Rocket League? Oh, hey, I forgot something. I got to tell them. Today or soon, there's a dating app episode for GMM coming out that yours truly wrote and pitched because I'm in dating app hell. And so check it out. I did a lot of soul searching when writing it. Good for you.

Thank you. So I love that there's two dating-related things. Is this my brand now? I didn't mean for it to become my brand. I thought it was just Drunk Lady was my brand for a while there. We're constantly involved. We're adding facets. In summation, eat whatever the hell you want.

Listen to your partners. Be empathetic. Have a keen ear. All right, Nicole and Emily, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. Time for a segment we call... Opinions, Josh. Yes, I'm sorry. I was laughing at Emily being embarrassed of us.

Roll the theme music. All right. Before we get into opinions on our casseroles, we want you guys to watch our new series called Aprons Off, where we don't really cook and kind of just hang out with each other. We talk, we chat, we do fun little activities. Sometimes we eat, sometimes we don't. I really enjoy it. Yeah, and I take my apron off to find out what else I'm going to take off. That's right.

Check us out on YouTube.com slash Mythical Kitchen. My socks. You see my feet. Okay, that was a good plug. You see your feet? Well, I don't know, but now we have to. Now we have to put my bare feet on there. Every time Josh calls me, it's a picture of his bare feet with colored pencils inside.

I didn't make that choice. To be clear. You look so sweaty. Do you have a wiki feet, Nicole? Of course I do. I do, and they don't like it. They love my feet. Wait, what's your rating

on wiki feet? I think it's like a two. Mine's 4.87. Mine's 4.5. Yeah, the comments are put them away. That's a real comment. Listen, listen.

Everybody makes fun of the feet. That was so listen everybody everybody makes fun of the feet everybody makes fun of the feet guys they're a powerful audience and we would love you on our side feet guys

furries please watch Mythical Kitchen we are for you we love the furries they're very nice they're generally pretty nice furries

feet guys I'm so into like to being I don't want to participate necessarily in the whole thing but I would like to hang and I do want a costume.

But also, if someone could just call in and tell me what makes a good foot, because I don't get it. You don't need to call in. You can just DM her. We don't want to get that on our voicemail. I don't want to know. Maggie doesn't want it on the voicemail. Maggie don't want feet content.

But yeah, DM Emily and then talk about feet with her because she wants to achieve I want to understand it because I get pedicures and everything like what maybe that's not what they want

it's the opposite okay they want something with character it depends all right okay I'll work on it

I'll work on my feet apparently mine are already pretty great so same let's get into the first voicemail hopefully it's about feet

what's up my name's Cameron Let's get into the first voicemail. Hopefully it's about feet. What's up? My name's Cameron. This podcast is awesome. Thanks, man. I was going to say, I just made a pizza. Congratulations. And I had a weird idea. I just put on my pizza.

So try it out and let me know what you think. Love the podcast. Did you like it? I wish I knew if they liked it or not. I wish I knew if they liked it. I think that they did. Cameron, call back. Tell us what makes a good foot and if you like the Worcestershire sauce pizza. No feet content! It seems kind of basic. I don't know. This doesn't seem like a... I disagree. Worcestershire sauce

is an incredibly complex sauce. When you put it on steak, it's like A1 water. Yeah. No, it is. It is. It's like if you took A1, you diluted Wait, you put it on steak? It's like A1 water. Yeah, no, it is. It is. It's like if you took A1, you diluted it. Yeah, so I'm curious about...

Wait, wait, wait. Is A1 not Worcestershire sauce? No, A1 is a steak sauce, which I believe bears many similarities to a Worcestershire sauce. Prune, prune. But there's raisin puree in A1 and then just a lot of salt and vinegar

and fish notes. What is Worcestershire sauce? It's effectively like a fish sauce with vinegar, some caramel coloring, spices. I think Worcestershire is fish based. I could be wrong. You want to look up Worcestershire sauce ingredients?

Is it vegan? I don't believe it is vegan. It is a base of vinegar And flavored with Anchovies, molasses Tamarind, onion, garlic And other seasonings This whole time

I thought it was meat based I think it's because You put it on meat I thought it was meaty Yeah or like It has the meat extract Or the yeast extract That like meat flavor

That kind of Vegemite, marmite Or there's a product Called beefy bovril That's a beef based Yeast extract I know about bovril You know about the

Beefy bovril I know about bovril I know about Bovril You brought it for me You said put it on toast and I said Absolutely not bruv What if I put that in the description of the kind of man I'm looking for Beefy Bovril I don't like beefy Bovrils

You get a lot of chavs I don't want to put Worcestershire sauce on my pizza And I'm very happy that he made this discovery I'm gonna try That he made this discovery Yeah same I'm gonna try it It's the sour It's the sour that doesn't do it Because you already have

The acid from the tomatoes To me You get a lot of salt From the cheese You're adding more acid More salt With a weird Kind of sweet tang to it

I don't know that I need that I like balsamic Like glaze On a pizza So I don't know if they're Yeah I feel like it might I might like it It depends the type of pizza

Like a mushroom pizza Worcestershire if it has a fig oh my god goat cheese goat cheese fig arugula also I love like

malt vinegar yeah I don't like malt vinegar which you don't I feel like that's usually on the table if you've got the Worcester

and stuff like that I'm not in love with it it's like fish and chips you put that in got fish and chips at a bar like a beer bar the other day

they serve the malt vinegar in a spritzer spray bottling and spritz it on your fish I'm not in love with it. It's like fish and chips. You put that on. Got fish and chips at a bar, like a beer bar the other day. They served them all vinegar and a spritzer. Oh, that's cool. Spray bottling and spritz it on your fish. I'm down with that. Shout out local peasant Sherman Oaks, baby. That's what's up.

My mom sent me an Instagram with how to make a mimosa and it was a girl who filled champagne all the way to the top and then she had a spritzer with orange juice. That's very funny.

That's a little fun joke. That's a little fun joke for people who like to drink. If you date me and you're going to deal with my family and they're drinking, so that's going to give you a sneak peek. All right, next episode. Hi, Josh and Nicole.

This is Eliza from Virginia. Hi, Eliza. I'm calling with a potentially controversial and more educational opinion. When I moved out of Virginia, I realized that we had a special sauce at our Mexican restaurant that I couldn't find anywhere else

and none of my friends had heard of. White salsa. It's called Virginia White Salsa and it's a Miracle Whip based salsa. Josh is so funny. I personally think it's better than red salsa. So if y'all have heard of it, let us know.

And yeah. Thanks so much for all you do. Love you guys. So excited for this one. Break it down. What is it? What is it? What is it? White salsa.

It is one of those things that just started in Virginia or like the DFW area where Mexican restaurants give you a bowl of like a typical, you know, cantina style salsa, whatever you want to call it, like a tomato based salsa. And then you get salsa blanco, white salsa, which is basically mayonnaise with some spices in it and probably watered down a little bit. And to me, I love, I feel like a lot of Mexican restaurants or these very salsa, which is basically mayonnaise with some spices in it and probably watered down a little bit. And to me, I love, I feel like a lot of Mexican restaurants or these very Mexican-American restaurants that are slinging breakfast burritos out there, all these spots are just drizzling this orange mayonnaise on all of their food.

They're going viral on the Instagram, covering things in Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Is this the pink sauce? Not that pink sauce, but pink sauces in general, right? Yeah. And so you get this like you know legitimate regional mexican-american flavor from virginia where they was just serving mayonnaise with their food the whole time i believe she said it was miracle whip paste which is mayonnaise adjacent it is mayonnaise but not legally allowed to be considered mayonnaise right but i think it's great

and you know legally and i happen to love of like a margarine can't be. Yeah. Cold butter. Totally. Similar thing. It's basically just watered down mayonnaise with some corn syrup in it. And it's a delight. But I love Virginia white salsa.

There's a lot of controversy on whether or not it is quote unquote Mexican. But for me, I mean, if it was made by a Mexican person in America, that's Mexican, baby. Like you talk about Panda Express being its own regional form of Chinese food, which I think is a very legitimate way to look at it. You look at Chinese food in Eastern Turkmenistan, depending on how you feel about Chinese sovereignty. Well, there's like Tex-Mex,

but I'm trying to think of how you make it Virginia. Virgin-Mex? Virgin-Mex. Virgin-Mex. Virgin-Mex. Yeah. V-Mex, for short. V-M v-mex it's just lime aiden and glass yeah um i love it i've never actually had it me either but i would like to go to virginia and try

it i mean queso is a great example make it here oh my god are we gonna do will it mexican white salsa queso is its own very weird example of this, right? I love queso. It is ultra-processed, velveter cheese, the most American product possible. And Rotel, right? And Rotel canned tomatoes. Okay, I was hanging out with somebody who didn't know that that is the ultimate Super Bowl food. Queso? Well, it's the velveta with Rotel. They were like, what is Rotel?

And I was like, you were in your 30s. Some people don't know. Some people don't have that life they don't live the life of a queso queen I mean you put it in the crock pot it's very easy

I don't even love queso that much I love queso rub it on my body I love a lot of Tex-Mex food carne guisada wow hot queso

that like it's just hot but gloopy and not wet it's not it's not wet. It's not leaky. It's like gloop.

Leaky. I love it. Sign me up. Next opinion, Maggie. Light it up. Come on, Maggie. Hi. I love the intro.

My name's Davis. Thank you. We're sexy. The Bay Area, California. My opinion is that leftover tomato pasta sauce makes great fried rice. And I will not hear any negativity about it. Okay. Thank you.

Love the pod. Let him cook. I understand. I get it. Have you ever done it? No, but I want to. Yeah, this sounds kind of good. With some corn and some mushrooms.

I don't know about that corn. Oh, okay. I'm curious how far he's going with fried rice. I'm curious what he, because I would make what I don't call fried rice, what I call rice slop, which is when I have leftover rice. Because fried rice,

if you want to do it like real, real properly, I mean, you can put, you know, oil and pan, throw rice in there, throw crap in there. And to me, that doesn't like a fried rice make you know if you're talking like legit like Chinese egg fried rice in a wok gotta put an egg in there

gotta put an egg in there right but for me I'm making more what I consider rice slop or what I call pan rice because the rice goes in a pan because if you're putting the tomato sauce in it right that's gonna stop it from frying immediately unless you burn it. Unless you really like, you know, bring that rice forward.

I might get some water. I might get, I think I'd want it to be like dirty rice. Like you kind of burn it a little. Yeah, yeah. I agree with that. That said, maybe I'm splitting hairs here. Maybe this is a semantic argument for me. I would love to do this. You know, but that's great because I, you can throw anything in rice slop.

Tomato sauce, throw it in your rice slop. Ranch slop. Tomato sauce, throw it in your rice slop. Ranch. Ranch. Honestly, throw it in your rice slop. It's pizza flavored rice. You know, put some cheese on there. Broily. You got a rice pizza.

Jerk seasoning. Yeah. Jerk rice slop. Pan rice. I'm closing my eyes and looking at the fridge at work. Yuzu. Yuzu juice. You'll strain the broth out of your soup because then you just got a consummated drink

and then you just throw the soup solids in your rice and you got soup solid rice slop. I said yuzu. Yuzu juice. Throw in your rice slop. What were you saying? Sun chips. Throw in your rice slop. Yeah, this is a great idea. You can throw anything in a rice slop. I would hesitate on calling it fried rice personally. I would call it fried rice.

Rice slop. I might put a little red wine in there. See? That's great. Hell yeah, she crazy. I am crazy. If I can't drink it, I would call it fried rice. Rice slop. I might put a little red wine in there. See? That's great. Hell yeah, she crazy. I am crazy. If I can't drink it, I'll eat it. You guys ever do like the vodka soaked gummy bears? Never. No, I haven't. Oh my god. We did this thing in college where somebody put a ton of gummy worms

in a jug of Everclear. Oh, that's harsh. And they just like turned to goo, so it was like you Did you slurp it. They just like turned to goo so it was like Did you slurp it? You just reach in there and then it would like liquefy. I wish I had

cool college experiences like that. You should just go crash parties. Go crash the ZBT parties at UCLA, bro. I used to do that but they never gave me

any sort of gummy alcohol thing. If you want to come to Arkansas with me sometime and experience it. It's a dry county, so you got to drink in the dorm rooms. Or go to the American Legion, which if they're in a good mood, they'll let you in. It's like an Elks Lodge?

Yeah, it's for veterans. Oh, I don't think they want me there. No, they'll let you in in Arkansas because they want to look at pretty girls. Okay. Is that true? Arkansas? Right in the cup. Yeah. Batesville, Arkansas? What you in in Arkansas because they want to look at pretty girls. Okay. Is that true? Arkansas? Right in the... Yeah. Batesville, Arkansas.

What you got? What's good? Next place now. So I have one that's kind of a weird... When I was a kid, my mom used to make this for us or we'd make it usually on Saturday morning before we'd plop down in front of the TV for cartoons, Saturday morning cartoons back when that was a thing. Oh, good old days. But my wife thinks it's weird.

Make America. One Saturday morning. I've never found anybody else that's ever done that. And it's just cocoa and toast or hot chocolate and toast. We eat butter toast, cut it into triangles and you would dip it into the hot chocolate. Yep. This is good. It was so good.

And I loved it so much, but I've never found anybody else to do this. Am I that weird or have you heard of this? Thanks. I love the podcast. Thanks. Oh, man. I love the podcast. Thanks. Oh man, I got to start with something. Go for it. Okay.

So, um, yes to all of this, but, um, my sister got this McDonald's, like it's supposed to be a fry maker, but all it did was cut up bread in the shape of fries. You put a, you put a piece of bread in and then grind it and then it would just make little strips and then you'd eat bread and pretend it was fries um but we would what we would do is my mom would put uh like ovaltine powder on it yeah and then you just put it in there and crank it so we ate it like that sometimes hell yeah but for the most part i remember making this for my parents in the morning because on the weekends you would wake up at like 6 a.m. because you're a psychotic little kid. And you would like so I would I couldn't use the toaster because I couldn't reach it at the time, if you can believe that.

And so I just put butter on some bread and sugar and then just present it to my parents in bed and be like, I made you breakfast. You're so cute. And then I would watch them eat it like they had to eat it. Yeah. They have to. But cinnamon toast, it was something for sure. And like, you know, chocolate powder toast with butter. And then you put the hot cocoa powder on it.

Totally did that. Sounds so good. This person's talking about like a cup of cocoa with the bread in it. That's right. You did say butter sugar toast, I think. But yeah, I think yeah, I understand. You dunk it in there. That sounds like something, if you told me that

in Colombia. They do something like that. They do that every single day. What fell? My chapstick. If you told me that they do this every single day in a country like Colombia or something, I would fully believe that. I'd be like, oh yeah, I've heard of that. It's pan tostada o chocolate or something. That's it.

And they may. Very well may. It sounds something to me very elegant and very, you know, epicurean in a way that I love. In Spain, they dip their bread in coffee. Yeah. That's like a thing. And this is like the American child version of that.

Well, I mean, wouldn't you call the croissant that you, there's that guy on Instagram who makes croissants and it's like the most beautiful croissant I've ever seen. Is their name Trevor? I think so, but he's very handsome. And then he makes them and then there's the cappuccino and then he like opens it and then dunks it in and just like eats the whole thing.

And he's like, yeah, it looks so good. I want to do it. But yeah, I think that it is like so good i want to do it but um yeah i think that it's it is like soup if you want to i mean like this i would do this if i was if i was an adult i would do it if i was a kid i would do it more than i would as an adult yeah i mean i make um spinster nachos which is like it's bread um with a piece of cheese so much bread and then you dunk it in red wine and Wow, those are... And then you drink the wine too.

They used to do that in like medieval courts in England. They called it a wine sop. You'd put a piece of toast in the wine and then you'd eat the toast afterwards. So you're pretty fancy. Also, my grandmother, this may be a Southern thing, she would put cornbread in a cup and then pour buttermilk on it

and then eat it with a spoon. Top chef champion Kelsey. Yeah. Let's have more top chef talk on the show. Kelsey Barnard Clark made that, I mean a fancy version of that for her finale winning dish in a top chef. I believe it was Charleston. Wow.

Season they did. And every, and the judges, they were like judges from like Macau and they were just like, this is incredible. I've never had anything like this. So yeah, that's awesome.

I think it's very cool I gotta keep the tradition up and do that yeah we'll do it too what the show is about maintaining culinary traditions tradition tradition

tradition tradition and on that note thank you for listening to a hot dog is a sandwich we got new audio only episodes for you every Wednesday

and then the video drops on Fridays that's right Josh and if you want to be featured on opinions on our casseroles you can hit us up at 833-DOGPOD1. That number one more time is 833-DOGPOD1.

We're the wettest and wildest food podcast out there. Sorry. Emily, where can they find you? Well, you know, around here. Okay. What about, give them your hats. Tell them your socials. Twitter is at Flemily Emming.

And then Instagram is at M Flemily because some stubborn yoga lady will not give me Flemily Emming back for Instagram. Sorry. So don't harass this person. Do not harass the yoga instructor. Please don't. She doesn't need it and it's fine um is that it that's it but also you guys watch meals of history we've got like 21 episodes now i'm so proud that we've gone this long and um i hope we can keep making it i don't know if

we've done every year in history so far. But please watch that. And then please go get on Mythical Society. Ew! Put your foot down now! No, we gotta give the people what they want. Gotta give the people what they want. There were things attached to the bottom of your foot. You're promoting your own feet.

Thank you. And I want to promote Mythical Society specials, which are all the Dirk and Patty ones. If you're a fan of that, you can get on the app and watch it. Yeah, download the app. Yeah.

For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. Oh, yeah. You can even see. Check me out on wikifeet.com. Dude, you have a five.

Oh, my God. 4.87 rating, Nicole. That's what it looks like. We're used to it. Why is it like that? I don't know. He doesn't really have any call. 4.87 rating, Nicole. That's what it looks like. We're used to it. Why is it like that? I'm impressed he doesn't really have any calluses. No, no, no. His callus, it travels.

I don't wear socks. It travels? Yeah, he has a traveling callus. Look at the hands. The hands are kind of brutal. No, no, no. Yeah, the hands are brutal. His callus, it's at the heel and it travels up.

My left foot isn't as good as my right.