A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best Girl Scouts Cookie?

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Today, Josh and Nicole are tasting and rating the elusive yet delicious cookie brand, Girl Scouts Cookies and their 12 famous flavors. Will Thin Mint take top spot or will another cookie take #1? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hi, you guys want some cookies? What? It's a classic Chris Kattan bit. Oh, I liked mango more. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaydi. We are internet chefs over a good mythical morning in Mythical Kitchen.

And when we're not making Takis grilled cheeses, you can find us here breaking down the biggest food debates and talking about our favorite Chris Kattan feature films. Nicole, we're not talking just bits from SNL. Chris Kattan features today, Night at the Roxbury. Of course. That's like the classic one. Corky Romano. I never saw that.

It was just fine. That's where the opener bit that nobody is going to understand has come from today. No one. You guys want some cookies? Come on. It's a classic. Josh, I have to ask you a quick question. Yeah.

Have you ever seen a quaint little film called Troop Beverly Hills? Yes, I have seen Troop. Was that Goldie Hawn? No, it wasn't. It was another actor that is very similar to Goldie Hawn, but it is not. You got to look up who is in Troop Beverly Hills. And, you know, I grew up in Beverly Hills, as you know. And I saw that movie and I wanted to be a Girl Scout so bad or whatever their equivalent of a Girl Scout was in that movie.

And I was so passionate about it i asked my mom i said shelly shelly long i asked my mom i said mom can i please be a girl let me be a brownie let me be a part of it please and she said no why not i don't know but we're here today ranking girl scout cookies and i think that's the best revenge i was what do you mean revenge on the Girl Scouts? Are you going to roast all their cookies? Yeah, I wanted to be them, but I couldn't. But now I'm so excited to try all of their beautiful cookies because I really like their

message. You know, the Girl Scout mission, which is on the back of the box. Girl Scout builds girls of courage, confidence, and character who make the world a better place. And I can get behind that. Yeah. Girl Scouts making girls better or something um i was a boy scout did you know this way i was a cub scout in fact how many years were you doing this

less than a year and what happened is i don't think i got kicked out i was like eight or nine okay i was a bear scout was your brother also in it yeah for the same amount of time but you know unstable child we would just like lose all of our stuff. And, like, we couldn't afford to pay the dues. Where? In, like, fires? So we'd show up to the meetings. I didn't have the stupid little ascot on. And it was just uncomfortable.

And so we left. But I agree with their message. Which is? Of teaching boys how to tie knots. And we all need to tie knots. And, no, I don't know what their message is. Also, I think Boy Scouts are like a really problematic organization. Girl Scouts seem better.

I mean, yeah. Boy Scouts, they harbored some bad people in there. I mean, I'm sure like it gives kids structure and like how to sell things, which is good in the future. Yeah. No one has to be a sales associate. So Girl Scout cookies are, we're ranking them today is what we're doing. But these are like a product that everybody knows and loves. The Boy Scouts, they sell popcorn orders.

Nobody knows about that, though. Nobody knows about that. You would have to go door to door and be like, hey, do you want popcorn that might show up to your door in three months if I remember to turn this sheet in? And they're like, okay. Okay. Yeah, but Girl Scout cookies, we know them.

We love them. You got ice cream flavors made from Girl Scout cookies, people making Girl Scout cookie cakes, all that stuff. Today, Nicole, we have the tough job of ranking all of them and pitting all of world Girl Scoutery against each other if we get this right. I'm so hyped. You have no idea. Do you have any favorites off the bat? What do you initially – do you buy them from the troops? I very rarely buy them.

Do you support our troops? Do you buy them from the troops? I very rarely buy them. Do you support our troops? I very rarely buy them. But if I see one outside of Bristol Farms or Ralph's, I'll grab a box and bring them to the office and have everyone share. I think there are three ways. My granddaddy told me this. There are three ways.

I never met my grandfather, so you should know this is a lie. I never met either of my grandfathers either. Did you know that? No, I did not. They both died. There's three ways you can help your country. One, you sign up to serve. Two, you donate blood.

I don't do either of those. I buy Girl Scout cookies. And that's how I get back to the community. You should donate blood. Why don't you donate blood? What's wrong with you? I don't register my car.

I don't go to the dentist. I don't do these things. Nice thing to do. But if the dentist was outside tabling of a grocery store, and they were like, hey, quit cleaning. I don't do these things, but if they were, if the dentist was outside tabling of a grocery store, quick cleaning, I'd probably do it, because I'll do that. I'll hand over six bucks.

Samoas have always been my number one, but I've never tasted them side by side by side by side to see what they are. I was always a tag-along girl, but the older I've gotten, I've more seeped into thin mints. You've seeped into thin mint cultures? You've gotten older. Interesting.

The dark chocolate does it for me. Do you freeze them? You know, some people say they freeze them. I don't freeze them. No way. I like the way they are. Okay. Do you think we should start with the heavy hitters or start with the underrated ones?

Let's start with the underrated one. The most underrated of all, Truffoils. Truffoils. What does it mean? Unclear. Iconic shortbread cookies inspired by the Girl Scout original recipe. I'm excited for this. Oh, Truffoils. Truffoils. What does it mean? Unclear. Iconic shortbread cookies inspired by the Girl Scout original recipe. I'm excited for this. Oh, Truffoils.

Okay, the original recipe. So the initial Girl Scout cookie program was literally just you would bake sugar cookies for your school bake sale. That's right. And then that sort of tumbleweeded itself into being the National Girl Scout cookie program that rakes in $800 million a year. 100% of all proceeds go right back into the Girl Scouts. You could say it's a big money-making operation, but you know how I know they don't care about money that much? Why?

Because they banned Honey Boo Boo from selling them to her online followers. Oh, my gosh. And she was going to give, sorry, this is what I'm grandstanding on, seven-year-old Honey Boo Boo is trying to sign boxes and sell them to her fans. At an upcharge? Well, yeah, but it was all going to the Girl Scout troop, and she wasn't even a Girl Scout, so I guess it was kind of shady and weird. Girl Scouts were just like, yo, Honey Boo Boo, we don't really want you in here.

She should have just been a Girl Scout. That's what I'm saying. What happened? I don't know if Girl Scouts want that kind of heat. You know, Mama June out there. Because if you get Honey Boo Boo, you get Mama June. That's right. You happened? I don't know if Girl Scouts want that kind of heat. You know, Mama June out there. Because if you get Honey Boo Boo, you get Mama June. That's right. You know?

I do love me some. You get the TLC cameras following you. Are you like pumpkin? I have no idea who these people are, dude. Pumpkin's my favorite. Who's pumpkin? Is pumpkin a child? You have a piece of lint on your shirt, and I really want to get rid of it.

Can I? Yeah, can you clean me up like a chimpanzee? Yeah. I had to do that. Okay. Tree foils. Okay. I'm going to eat it? Did you want to, can you clean me up like a chimpanzee? Yeah, I had to do that. Okay, tree foils. Okay. I'm going to eat it? Did you want to choose it?

I was going to, but... Mm-hmm. That's a good cookie. There's no lornadoon. Oh, are those the ones, the Scottish ones? Mm-hmm. I love those.

Yeah, it's a little bit, it's not as dense as I want it to be. It's too light and airy. It's not shortbread-y like you want it. No, I want my shortbread. It's too light and airy. It's not shortbread-y like you want it. No, I want my shortbread. It's crispy, though. It's somewhere between a shortbread and a Nilla wafer.

Incredibly well salted. Very well salted. I would dip this in tea. Well seasoned, the vanilla. I don't drink tea. You don't drink tea ever? Eh, almost never. Oh, sometimes at night when I want to get a little cozy.

I'm watching a little movie. I have my rooibos tea that I brought back from South Africa. And that is a caffeine-free tea that I absolutely adore. Underrated rooibos tea that I brought back from South Africa. And that is a caffeine-free tea that I absolutely adore. Underrated rooibos tea. Josh, did you know that Girl Scouts stand for, the G stands for go-getter, the I stands for innovator, the R stands for risk-taker, and the

L stands for leader? Can I tell you what? I hate acronyms. Sorry, let me crap on the Girl Scouts here real quick. I hate acronyms that start with the word. They're like, this is Project Viper. It stands for victorious. It's like, no, scouts here real quick i hate acronyms that start with the word they're like this is project viper it stands for victorious it's like no you just thought viper sounded badass and now you're retrofitting a meaning to the acronym i don't like that can we talk about the founder of the boy scouts and how he committed war crimes the founder robert baden powell is a war criminal

who met with hitler because they both quote shared a love for young boys experiencing the outdoors doesn't sound that right to me robert baden pal speaking of the outdoors let's try adventure falls i told nicole that i was gonna bring that up she goes i don't think you have to we're talking about girl scout cookies i go no nicole when robert baden pal was in the zulu wars he executed people extra judicially. That's a war crime. And vegetables are indulgent brownie-like inspired cookies with caramel-flavored creme. Let's not even talk about his exploits in Rhodesia. And a hint of sea salt.

Beautiful. I've never... You're a monster. Oh, Robert Baden-Powell's a monster. Okay. These look lovely. I've never had these before. Are these new?

I think they're new. They're on the newer side. I don't think they have the same, like, esteem as monster. Okay. These look lovely. I've never had these before. Are these new? I think they're new. They're on the newer side. I don't think they have the same, like, esteem as the other cookies. Yeah, yeah. Let's try the Adventurefuls. Okay. Let's go for it. Okay.

Mm-hmm. Mm. It's mid. What? It's mid. It's mid. No, no. This is a great try.

Right? Also- They swung. They took a swing with the adventure rolls. They're like, we need something new. But they kind of, what they did is they sort of like restructured the tagalongs, which were already a great cookie. Great cookie. And then just made it like a little bit worse with the structure.

But I see where they were going with this. And it's a hell of an attempt. Yeah. They just didn't quite hit the mark. That's it, Girl Scouts. You're going. I do like the way it looks. I do like the dark chocolate cookie with the beautiful

little thumbprint of the caramel. The little swivel of the lighter chocolate. I think it's a beautiful cookie. I think the flavor just misses its mark a little bit. I wish it had more salt. Interesting. More salt would help. A little bit more salt would be much, much nicer. I think peanut butter in desserts needs salt. Sure. Because like peanut butter

should be that salty component. That should be the savory sweet, right? Peanut butter is like inherently a salty thing, not a sweet thing. Sure, yeah. I love it. So, so far, I got tree foils. They're good. Like that's a good cookie. Do you think it's better than the Adventure Foils?

Significantly. I agree. I think tree foils are a good cookie. Okay. Let's jump into Do-Si-Dos. Oh! I used to love Do-Si-Dos. Can you read what a Do-Si-Do is?

It's an oatmeal sandwich cookie with peanut butter filling. They're a heavy peanut butter cookie based organization. Probably because it's cheaper to make than something else. People love it. Thank you. People love it. Do you know the I in Girl Scout stands for sharing? It's innovator.

Damn it. Son of a. Never going to be a Girl Scout. Okay. Okay. I'm going to try it. Infinitely better than these two. Really?

Wait, hold on. I'm all in over. I like the oats. I like the oats. A heartier cookie. The oats make it a heartier. This is a breakfast cookie. It's a sandwich cookie.

You get two cookies in one. I love sandwich cookies. This is literally, it tastes like a Nature Valley product. It's delicious. There's honey in there. No, it is good. It's a product. It's delicious. There's honey in there. No, it is good. It's a delight. It's a well-executed cookie. Honey, peanut butter, oats,

salt. It's a beautiful cookie. A breakfast cookie. It's a breakfast cookie. You must dip it into your coffee. You cannot dip this in tea. No, I dipped it straight in milk. As a grown man who just houses glasses of whole milk. I love whole milk. Yeah, I'm the guy from that meme. And I know I look like it with being a white guy with round glasses and all. I look like I just slam whole milk.

But I do. Okay. This is going right in that whole milk. I really like that cookie. That's a good freaking cookie. I never buy these. Never. Because why would you whenever you have tagalongs?

But maybe the flavor is doing it for us. It's got extra... I would never buy these cookies because Nutter Butter to me has always been the best peanut butter sandwich cookie. I love Nutter Butters. But these are pretty damn good with the oat. The honey and the oat that brings you that extra little savoriness

that kind of like grainy wholesomeness and this isn't for health reasons. Of course not. But it adds an extra flavor dimension that actually really, really makes a product better. That's a hell of a cookie. I like that cookie. Can you put it back in its spot? Hot dang. Thank you.

We're off to a rip-roaring start, Girl Scouts. We're back in its spot. Sorry. I'm not good at putting things back where they need to go. Which one do you want to try now? Let's jump to Toffee-tastic. Toffee-tastic, the gluten-free cookie of the bunch. Here at the Girl Scouts, we are inclusive of all dietary guidelines, regardless of your tummy. If you get the hot poops after you eat gluten, well, you can still have Girl Scout cookies.

Also, the Girl Scouts have been much more inclusive of, like, gender, sexual identities than the Boy Scouts. That's really sweet. Shout out. That's wonderful. Yeah, so when Robert Baden-Powell is putting down Zulu- Oh my god! What? What?

Nicole, this is a podcast about the history of war crimes. It's about eating Girl Scout cookies with your best friend. God. Oh, my bad. I misread the call sheet this morning. Okay. Oh, these are toffee-tastic. They are rich, buttery cookies with sweet, crunchy toffee bits.

Although he shared sympathies with Hitler, he also ended up on Hitler's kill list, like a direct kill list from Hitler because Hitler thought that he was spying on him with his Boy Scouts. It was weird stuff, dude. Hitler had a kill list? What? Yeah, I mean, it was like 90% of the people in the world, but— Like the guy, like Steve Buscemi in The Wedding Singer? Yes. The Wedding Singer?

Yeah. No, it's Big Daddy. Is it? No, it's not Big Daddy. I don't know. Is it The Wedding Singer? Yes. The Wedding Singer? Yeah. No, it's Big Daddy. Is it? No, it's not Big Daddy. I don't know. Is it The Wedding Singer? Yeah, Steve Buscemi. He puts lipstick on.

I can already tell by the way you crunched the cookie, you didn't like it. Hmm. Okay. Gluten-free cookies, to me,

oh, it's Billy, it's Billy Madison. It's Billy Madison. He comes and he shoots the guy at the trivia tournament. How do you feel about this? I don't think this is very good. Gluten-free people, I'm very sorry that you are often given the short end of the stick. The interesting thing is, though, I didn't think you needed gluten to make good cookies.

Why not? I don't know, because to me, I associate gluten rate as the protein that's found within a lot of pizza dough, brioche, whatever. The thing that gives it a stretch, its strength, it allows it to rise. Sure. Cookies, you ain't need no rise. You don't need that chew. You don't need that strength. Like, I would think that you can make a good gluten-free cookie.

Oats don't have gluten, right? You can make good oat flour cookie. You could. You could. Why isn't this good, though? I think it might be the way that the gluten-free flour is reacting to the fat. That might just be stunting it and giving it that really short. This tastes more like shortbread than the truffle oil tastes like shortbread.

The toffee bits I don't think are very good either. They stick to your teeth in a way. They need to either be that like Heath Bar crunch. Which is what I would prefer. Which is what I prefer. Or it needs to be just fully melted in there and ingrained as a flavor. This to me just hits a mark. It eats kind of dry.

Can I eat part of your tree foil? Of course you can. Eat these side by side. Okay. No question. Tree foils, seemingly better. To me, I think we have to put the toffee-tastic at the bottom of the list currently. We do.

You know? And there's no shame in that. Listen, all Girl Scout cookies are good Girl Scout cookies, except for those. But it is the worst one. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Definitely. Okay And there's no shame in that. Listen, all Girl Scout cookies are good Girl Scout cookies, except for those. But it is the worst one. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely. Okay. That's the bottom.

Then we're going Adventure Fools. Okay. And then we end up at Tree Foils. Fair. Then we're at Do-Si-Do's. Do-Si-Do's are top. Do-Si-Do's are top right now. Okay.

But we still haven't hit the big hitters. Okay. Let's go. We got the three. Oh, no, no, no. There's another obscure one that I find very delightful. These are Girl Scout s'mores. I've never tried these.

Another sandwich cookie, graham cracker sandwich cookie, chocolate marshmallow spread on the inside. Oh, my gosh. You know, this, it's like a limited edition Oreo. I love these. I'm sorry. I didn't open it. Damn it. Sorry.

I'm so sorry. I freaked out for a second. Nicole, there you are. Thanks. Don't you love that we're on video now so you can see that? I feel like you need to put these in the microwave. Oh, now just breathe on it. Ah.

Ah. Ah. That's how I breathe. Mmm. Hell of a cookie, Nicole. That's what the heck I'm talking about. It's like if you took 16 s'mores Pop-Tarts and put them in a trash compactor. Like a collapsing neutron star, Nicole.

All of that flavor. I really don't like these. Is it because of the intense chemical taste? It's pure chemical. I love it. That's how you know. Okay. It's fake chocolate and it's fake marshmallow and it's fake graham crackers.

If I can eat it, it's real. What the hell is that fake marshmallow chemical flavor? Because what's a marshmallow? I don't know how you make it. It's like egg and gelatin. It's not even egg. It's like corn syrup, gelatin, and sugar that's heated to a certain temp. But significantly before caramelization, you just whip it all up.

This isn't even marshmallow filling. This is just the inside of an Oreo without the flavor. Is there no marshmallow flavor in it? It doesn't taste like marshmallow to me. It tastes like chemical ass. No, but I'm saying there's like an artificial marshmallow extract, but what the hell is that? Because a marshmallow is just sugar. It's sugar with gelatin added for structure.

The chocolate is also nasty. The chocolate's the nasty part. The chocolate's the nasty part that feeds into the weird Oreo part. Yeah, a lot of extracts. And then the cookie is just, it's just fine. The cookie's just fine.

This is the worst one. Everything Nicole's saying, I agree with, but I come to the complete opposite conclusion where I love it. The cookie's salty as hell. Don't know why there's so much salt in it, but I love it. It's so salty. It's like a garlic Parmesan graham cracker. I don't quite understand that. It's salt in it but I love it it's so salty it's like a garlic parmesan graham cracker I don't quite understand that it's salty and savory I love it

and then they have that fake chocolate extract that you get from like the flavor of a Tootsie Roll they sent me to Tootsie Roll which I hope you haven't eaten a Tootsie Roll in the last like 8 years if you're an adult I love Tootsie Rolls it's an American classic it's like a weird candy to just eat outside of Halloween where are you getting a Tootsie Roll

some people put it outside of the desks and they of Halloween, where are you getting a Tootsie Roll? Some people put it outside of the desks. And they're like, welcome to the office. Here's a Tootsie Roll. You point it here as if we've done that. Think about the actual candies we have on the desk out here. We have like Lindt truffles. Yeah, we have really fancy chocolate. Reese's peanut butter.

Girard Deli squares. Ain't nobody eating Tootsie Rolls. Ain't nobody eating Tootsie Rolls anymore. Josh, I hated this cookie a lot. I love it. The way it's shaped, I hate. The way that the fillings are put in this cookie a lot. I love it. The way it's shaped, I hate. The way that the fillings are put in there, I hate. What do you mean the way it's shaped?

This is such a good, efficient shape for a sandwich cookie. It's so much better than an Oreo. Okay, there's nothing about this sandwich cookie that brings... What does it say on the outside? It's the perfect two-biter. Read it. Girl Scout S'mores. S'mores is a portmanteau of some and more.

You know why, Nicole? They are so good. You want some more of them. I love these. Hey, Josh, describe the shape for everybody at home. Describe the shape. It is an oblate spheroid. Oblate spheroid, everybody.

No, what are they called? They call this a circled rectangle is what it's called. So it's a rectangular shape, but the angles are circled. You got a little crumb on your lip. I got a lot. This is so fun. I think it's a perfect two-biter. Boom.

Right in half. Oreo can't do that. I hate this cookie. It's the bottom of the barrel for me. No way. It's worse than toffee-tastic. Don't touch them. They're mine.

I didn't eat them. Thank you. Okay. I will say, certain people like me are built different. Like trash people? No, correct, correct, correct. I think it really depends on how much you grew up eating either like real fruits and vegetables or completely fabricated in a large food factory approximations of fruits and vegetables. I did both.

You did both? Yeah. But like now you seem like I am not sensitive to artificial extracts at all. I can taste them and I can place them. Yeah. But I love them. Okay. But I know a lot of people like Julia didn't grow up eating like any artificial foods like that.

Her parents like cared about her and like cooked from scratch and stuff like that. You know, point is she will like taste artificial cherry extract and be like, oh, that just tastes like medicine. Because the only time she had that was in medicine. Yeah. But for me, I'm like, yeah, but medicine just tastes good because that tastes like jolly ranchers you know she's like what's a jolly rancher i'm like how did we end up she never had a jolly rancher i think she had a jolly rancher she never had taco bell and you're mad at me for eating tootsie rolls i don't host a podcast with julia you know we love each other for our faults not in spite of them um so if you

are somebody who can if you are somebody who can like really house artificial extracts and i know you know who you are out there like if you're someone who drinks a bunch of diet sodas i hate diet sodas exactly because you don't have that you're not built different you mean to tell me you would scrape out the middles pack a lip and just hang out with that cookie ew josh right now no how's it how do you like me now? How's it? What? No, I'm not. This is going to give me a cavity. Okay, I agree to disagree on the s'mores cookies. Fine, we have different lists.

We can have, we might. We have different lists. We come together sometimes, but we are quite apart in a lot of situations. This is one of them. This is true. What do you want to try now? We have different fashion senses. Like, I know how to dress, and you kind of just phone it in.

I'm kidding. I'm wearing a shirt. You're so shady. Okay, let's try lemon up. I'm wearing a shirt. You're so shady. Okay, let's try lemon up. I'm wearing a shirt that says dump truck daddy. Yeah, real fashion. Sorry, Anna Wintour.

All right, lemon ups. Crispy lemon cookies baked with inspiring messages to lift your spirits. I love lemon. Keep your politics out of my lemon ups. Crispy lemon cookies baked with inspiring messages to lift your spirits. I love lemon. Keep your politics out of my lemon cookies. I don't want inspiring messages on there. Josh, you don't like positive affirmations?

No, I hate positive affirmations. Do you want to pick your own positive affirmation? My version, this is dead serious, of a positive affirmation is me staring at myself in the mirror and calling myself a piece of crap. That's what I do every day to wake up. So I'm not an affirmation guy. This is mine. Is it healthy? No, I'm not abdicating for it.

I'm merely saying what I do. Okay, you have to pick it out and you have to put it face down. And then on three, you have to say it, okay? All right. One, two, three, say yours. I am an innovator. I am a go-getter. Do you feel better now?

Do you feel the Girl Scouts have empowered you to take on the world? Do you think they all stand for G-I-R-L? Oh, dude, probably. Let's read all of our cookies. I am an innovator. I am a risk taker. I am a leader. I am a getter.

What are we missing? Nothing. G-I-R-L. Yes. This is the best cookie. I love it. Okay, so you said a cookie called a lemonade. I think it's the same thing, no?

No, lemonade's had a frosting on them, I believe. Oh, but you have frosting down here. Yeah, maybe they're the same. So good. You like them? I love artificial lemon extract. Why? It's so good to me.

Have some consistency. No, you. Fair. This is a lot of artificial lemon extract. It's so good to me. Have some consistency. No, you. Fair. This is a lot of artificial lemon extract. It's so good. You don't get any of the acid. If this is a fresh baked cookie with fresh lemon zest in here, that'd be a really lovely cookie. I love lemon cookies.

I love especially this light little frosting on it. You just go like in Squid Game. You have to on it. You just go like, like in Squid Game, you know, you have to, you have to lick it. Mmm. The Dalgona candy. Remember Squid Game? Yeah, it was so good. Did you ever watch Alice in Borderland?

No, but I watched Physical 100, the real life Squid Game. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard that's a really, really good show. I don't buy the controversy about the ending too. I don't care if they had to refilm it three times. I think the winner is the winner because it suited my narrative

that I went into the show believing. No spoilies, but the guy who I wanted to win won. Oh, okay. That's good. Because he does the same thing that I do. And I'm like, they're the best athletes. What's that? I'm not going to say it. It's not... I have too many cookie crumbs on my laptop. We are

breaking the equipment here. Hey, Maggie, can I take a selfie with my cookie, please? It's really important. This has nothing to do with the podcast. You're taking a podcast break to take a selfie? What kind of media meta analysis? I hate this. I hate this. Sorry.

No, no, no. Let me tweet. Nicole, let me go write a tweet. Let me write a short story while we're recording the podcast. Josh, if you were a go-getter. I mean, I've been live streaming this whole thing on Twitch. Actually, no, I'm not on Twitch anymore. I'm on Kik.

Ooh. I don't Kik. Ooh. I don't know what that means. Trevor had to explain to me. Okay, where do you have these cookies from? Smack dab in the middle. Okay, so you have them better than tree foils. I do. Why?

I think tree foils are really nice. You need to think about the tenderness of the crumb right now. Okay. And how beautiful and luxurious it melts. The tree foils is like chewing on sugary air, a sugary cloud in an unpleasant way. The way that it snaps and the way that it melts doesn't do it the way that a Lemon Up does. A Lemon Up has a beautiful buttery crumb, which the Trifoil is missing. And we'll say the seasoning, the salting, and the vanilla that is going into the Trifoil is missing. And we'll say the seasoning, the salting,

and the vanilla that is going into the trifoil is delightful. But as a whole package, these lemon cookies are the victor. I would agree with that. They have a more substantial bite to them, which I want in a cookie. Delicious, yeah. The light crispy thing, you're in cracker territory there, friend. Get an animal cracker. Yeah, exactly.

I like lemon. You need to be able to handle your artificial extracts again, which apparently Nicole can here. A lot of artificial lemon. But if you're into that, a good cookie. But it's good artificial lemon. It's not bad artificial lemon. But still, we got Do-Si-Dos heavily in the front.

These are a hell of a cookie. Yeah. But now we get to the hitters. Okay. We're in our big three. They say you need a big three to win an NBA championship, and that's what the girl scouts have in thin mints tagalongs and samoa sometimes called uh samoa's or caramel delights that's right tagalongs are peanut butter patties peanut butter patties in other areas you're correct um good memory thin mints all the same mints and

that's because girl scouts have two main bakeries they are partnered with that they're contracted with and that's why some cookies have slightly different ingredients and will actually taste different in different regions. It's East Coast and West Coast, right? I think so, yeah. But also I don't understand why that would affect the naming of them. That never made sense to me, but that's like their answer. Yeah. I always thought there was like a slightly political answer to it.

Smell. There's nothing like this smell. There is. It's called a York Peppermint Patty Shut up and close your eyes And eat the cookie God dang it It's so good

The texture on that Thin mint Aside from the mint chocolate Which one I like mint chocolate For sure The thin layer Of that like very

Plasticine chocolate That's been cut With a lot of other ingredients Right So don't quite melt in your hand You know It has a nice sheen to it But it's so thin It just coats this like plasticine chocolate that's been cut with a lot of other ingredients, right? So it don't quite melt in your hand, you know? It has a nice sheen to it, but it's so thin. It just coats this like ultra crispy, wafery, but still substantial.

All that soy lecithin just getting in the middle of those crispy flour and sugar granules, just giving these little micro air bubbles in there. It's beautiful. Hell of a cookie. It's masterclass in cookie making. Hell of a cookie. Phenomenal. It beats out Dosey Dose. You. It beats out Dosey Dose.

You think it beats out Dosey Dose? A million. Josh, we can have different lists. You think the Dosey Dose is better? Let me eat a Dosey Dose. I've just been really impressed. I've been really impressed. The Dosey Dose are my dark horse today.

I wanted something to really surprise me today. And it was the Dosey Dose. And eating a Dosey Dose for the first time in years really surprised me. I ate one. I ate one. You missed the do-si-do. I had a bite. Slittering cookies

all over the table. I am hoarding the cookies. Okay, you're right. Yeah, thin mince wins. But still very impressed by the do-si-do. Of course.

I think they're number two right now. Number two? Thin mince, do-si-dos and then it's what did we say? Lemon-ups? Thin mince, do-si-dos, and then it's, what did we say? Lemon Ups? Thin Mints, Dosey Dose, Lemon Ups.

Trefoils? Trefoils. Do you have the Adventurefuls above S'mores? I do. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Adventurefuls, S'mores. And then the Toffee-tastic.

Toffee-tastic. Bottom, bottom. It's everything for people. Bust out the Tagalongs. Bust out the Tagalongs. Because to me, there's like, I have a personal top two, Samoas and tagalongs, just because mint is like, you know, sometimes you don't want the mint flavor. Yeah, I think it's polarizing.

I know people love it. I'm so excited for this. Again, covered in chocolate. This is, I have, okay, I have a theorem that I'll get to with the Samoas that could change everything. Okay. But let us enjoy these. Our last ride.

Can I tell you what it is? It's the way your two front teeth sink into the pita butter, but your bottom teeth are eating the cookie. So you have two different sensations in your mouth at one time. I feel like I'm in a rave getting like a massage with a light show in front of me right now. Unrelatable. That's what the cookie feels like. I went to a Polo and Pan concert yesterday and yeah, there were people doing that. It's fun, you know.

The texture on that peanut butter gives that cushion right before the cookie. Your teeth sink into the soft and you're like, ooh, is this a soft experience? They're like, nope.

Hard. Crispy and hard. Dude, my laptop is destroyed. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Yeah, that's,

I mean. Better. Better than Thin Mint, right? Better. That's our top. I still, Do-Si-Dos are still

my dark horse that I like want to believe are as good as these other ones, but they're simply not. It's a great change-up cookie, but so far, these cookies, to quote Coach Denny Green, they are who we thought they were. Never mind. Sports quotes are hard in here.

Now we got to get – where are the Samoas at? They're in the purple box in front of you. Samoas. These, to me, are the ones – These are the messianic cookie, right? This is the thing that changed the game. These things like you will get Samoa flavored donuts at donut shops. You'll see them in ice cream at the Baskin Robbins. This is a crispy cookie, ring cookie with a layer of caramel, coconut, and dark chocolate stripes.

The thing that has spawned a thousand recipe imitators on allrecipes.com. The cookie that sailed a thousand ships. Look at these freaking dense little rings. You're going to Flavortown, girl. You know what they taste like?

Kosher for Passover macaroons. But in like a sexy way. Not that a girl's got to be sexy, but this cookie is. You can be kosher for Passover macaroons, but in like a sexy way. Not that a girl's got to be sexy, but this cookie is. You can be kosher for Passover and sexy. That's a thing we know from this podcast. It's the heavy toast on the coconut. Wow. Provides a deep layer of flavor that blends with the caramel, Nicole, because both those

flavors are just burning sugar, which is great. The chocolate counters it, and you got a crisp cookie wafer. My one thing about these cookies that could go along with tagalongs as well. Go ahead. If this were in a straight line if this was not a ring if this was a bar, a straight line

this would be called a Twix. This would be called a candy bar. Okay. Right? This is not a cookie. This is a candy bar. But. Okay. We're not arguing the cookie hood of Girl Scout Cookies. We're arguing what is the best product they make. This is a candy bar. But. Okay. We're not arguing the cookie hood of Girl Scout cookies. We're arguing what is the best product they make. That is correct. I mean, honestly, can you even legally call this a cookie?

Most of this is not cookie material. That's okay. You know? They're doing their part. I think it's a cookie. It's the best tasting thing I've ever put in my mouth. I think the tagalongs are better. I stress ate a whole box of these during the Super Bowl when the Eagles started losing.

That's a real fact. There were Girl Scout cookies at the El ate a whole box of these during the Super Bowl when the Eagles started losing. That's a real fact. There were Girl Scout cookies at the Elks Lodge that I was watching the Super Bowl at. Julia was a little sloshed and she bought a bunch of Girl Scout cookies. She doesn't remember it. Go Birds. Go Birds. I will say the Tagalong is a better mouthfeel than the Samoa. Bring back the Tagalongs.

I am open to the fact that Tagalongs could be a better cookie than a Samoa. Josh, we're doing God's work. We're like scientists right now. And we have to be completely honest to the people that are listening. You are here for the truth, capital T truth. And we are giving it to you. And I know what you're going to say. And I want us to be on the same page.

Eat it. We're not paid by big pharma out here selling your prescription drugs. No. No. Doing this for love of the game. That's right. And also if Girl Scouts wants to give us a kickback, we're here. Listen, we're all running a business.

Okay. How do we decide which one is better? I will say, what are the pros of each? Mouthfeel. Mouthfeel. Texture. Balance, I'd say. Balance.

Chocolaty. Peanut buttery. Pure badass flavor rush. This is like the highest flavor coefficient of any cookie that we have here, right? You're talking about the Samoa. The Samoas are the highest flavor coefficient. The Tagalong is the most balanced mouthfeel. But what do you want from a Girl Scout cookie experience? When I eat Girl Scout cookies, what I about is uh how i can eat a whole

sleeve same you don't you don't eat one and you walk away nobody's doing that because you're not eating candy you're not eating candy it's not a single wrapper thing you're housing it uh-huh you eat a whole sleeve or the whole box in one sitting you can't just eat one whoever says that is lying i will say the one that i can eat more of for me, tagalongs. The one that gives me the sensation of delicious cookie that I want to go back for more and more, tagalongs. I could eat one Samoa and walk away. Two Samoas and walk away. I could eat a sleeve of these and want more.

And that's a sign of a better cookie in my opinion. I would like to thank everyone for being here because we had a great time. This is fantastic. I wish we would just binge eat more cookies on the show. I have my official answer, and I agree with you. Tagalongs are the winner simply because say you get 70%. This is hypothetical. 70% of the enjoyment of a tagalong.

You can eat 300 300 to 600% more in one sitting I agree with the Samoas to me they eat like a candy they're utterly delicious but not to say I couldn't house the whole thing

but I'm they're gonna have diminishing returns after the sixth Samoa tagalongs you never the limit does not exist Nicole

and that's the that's the marker of a good cookie that's why they're the best Girl Scout cookie yep god dang it okay so to revisit

number one Girl Scout cookie we we have Tagalongs. Tagalongs. Number two, we got Samoas. Samoas. Number three, we got Thin Mints. Thin Mints. Number four, we got Dosie Dos. Dosie Dos.

Underrated. Dosie Dos. Dosie Dos really had a great showing today. Number five, we have Lemonades. Incredible. Number six, we have Truffoils. Yeah. Eat them.

Eat them. Try them. They're the classic. Yeah. Eat them. Eat them. Try them. They're the classic. It's a good crispy plain cookie. And then we're starting to get to the bottom of the barrel. Adventurefuls was a great try. Girl Scouts didn't really hit it. The s'mores ones I particularly enjoyed.

Nicole absolutely hates them. That's fine. We can have differences. And then the gluten-free people. Sorry about it. Maybe just like eat a piece of fruit or something. Yeah. You know. sorry about it maybe just like eat a piece of fruit or something yeah you know alright Nicole

we've heard what you and I have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe it's time for a segment we call

opinions are like casseroles I don't feel good Sorry A lot of cookies A lot of Ooh and they're still Sitting there

Sugary If I don't eat a cookie Before the end of this That will be a huge win For myself Like you think you're Gonna reach and get one Right now

No Self control Josh You need to bite me Okay The way my cat does Alright let's listen to some opinions. I will. Josh and Nicole.

Hey. Rob from Michigan. What's up, Rob? My side hustle is I do 3D printing. Sick. Shout out to Opaq's prints. Okay. Good free advertising.

I'm wondering what your guys' opinion on the future of 3D printed food would be. Yeah. Why don't we keep this one short and simple? So have a great day. I don't reckon there is a future, Nicole, and I'll tell you why. Okay. Okay, so so much of our food system is already basically backlogged in the infrastructure that we already have,

and a lot of it doesn't necessarily have to do with even meeting demand anymore, right? So for instance, our dairy farms have grown so big and so efficient, they can produce so much dairy. They're locked into subsidy systems, despite the demand not actually being there. But it's so freaking cheap to produce that they just produce so much of it because it creates jobs and they just dump it into a field. So you got all these people out there who were like, we can 3D print steaks using the hemoglobins found in animal proteins. And it looks exactly like, and we don't have to kill animals. But the fact is there are hundreds of thousands of people whose jobs, whose livelihoods are

out there that is killing animals because you can make steak that feeds people for very, very cheap because cow farms have existed for hundreds upon hundreds of years in America. So I think a lot of these 3D, and of course, any new innovation is going to take time to implement, but I think it is so freaking expensive and can only happen on such a small scale and the demand isn't there and it is beating against an industry that has, I'm only talking about the weird 3D printed meat that we're seeing out here. There's probably other applications for 3D printed food.

There are. I know they use it in space stations and stuff like that. The stuff that I've seen right now, pretty rudimentary. We 3D printed a pizza and it tastes almost like a Lunchables pizza. And it's like, gross, I want a guy named Giuseppe making me a good one. But for me, I don't know. 3D printing, very cool technology technology but like a lot of new technologies in the food space it just doesn't actually beat the current technology that you have right yeah um we actually used a 3d printed sugar cube for a gmm episode one time that's fun and it's cool you know the novel i understand the novelty of it and having it exist in like a small store or, you know, maybe a CPG product here and there.

But I don't see anything 3D printed taking the place of, I don't know, a tomato or a steak, like you said, or a bottle of milk or whatever it is. They can try, but I don't see it. I don't see our society accepting it. Yeah. And there's also a lot of people who are like, but it can curb climate change and all that. There's a lot of companies that market themselves almost as tech companies. Like I'm thinking of Beyond and Impossible. The two companies are like, oh, my God, it's a veggie burger that bleeds in a completely new technology.

It's like our soy protein burgers have been around for, you know, 40, 50 years. It's cool. And it tastes good. around for, you know, 40, 50 years. It's cool. It's cool and it tastes good, but it's an improvement in a food product. It's not a technological revolution. Sure. People want it to be. They want it to be. People are dying for it.

And they invest in it as if it is. But like if people are imagining like a WALL-E future of food, human race ain't going to exist long enough to get there. We need to worry about making the food systems that we currently have better. Better, yeah. Rob, I'm sure your 3D printing stuff is awesome, man. Yeah, can you 3D print us like a surfboard with our faces on it? I don't know how to surf,

but I'm sure I could learn if I had one. Hi, this is Shiloh from Florida. I love your guys' podcast. And here's a little bit of an unpopular food take for me and my family. I like southern sweet tea and milk. Like, not like black tea and milk. Yeah, buddy.

Like, real sweet, kill a bear, southern sweet tea. Heck yeah. And milk. Love you guys. Love the podcast. Y'all have a good one. I think about this a lot. Milk and sweet tea?

Milk and iced tea. Okay. Nobody. Who does that? Nobody. Well, people put milk and tea all the time. I know. That's what the Commonwealth few people do that all the time.

They do. Oh, I grew up drinking super milky tea with my grandma. Yeah. Super milky, watery tea. It's pretty gross. Super sweet, too. But almost nobody puts milk in iced tea, especially sweetened iced tea. Huh.

Like an iced latte. I'm sure you can order it at places, but. It sounds delicious. It's freaking great. Yeah. Thai tea. iced tea. Huh. Like an iced latte. I'm sure you can order it at places, but. It sounds delicious. It's freaking great. Yeah. Thai tea. Like the thing about Thai tea, that is a creamy,

milky, sweet iced tea that is delightful. But even you just take a black tea, you take a southern sweet tea, milk it up, dude. It's a treat. Yeah.

I'm not the biggest sweet tea fan. I do like my tea unsweetened. But that's just me. Maybe there's like two different products. It's like drinking water with a squeeze of lemonade versus like a country time lemonade. Yeah.. Maybe there's like two different products. It's like drinking water with a squeeze of lemonade versus like a

country time lemonade. It's like, well, you're drinking two different things. Yeah, sure. I just personally like my tea unsweetened. That's just

a personal preference. But I do love the idea of milk and sweet tea. I wouldn't have it. It's an American Thai tea at that point and it's a delight, man. I've had that.

Keep on trucking. Shiloh, you are on the right side here. I like your name, by the way. Shiloh's a beautiful name. What? Have you seen Grandma's Boy? Yeah.

Nick Swartzen? Shiloh? More like, and then he says something inappropriate. We'll talk after. We'll talk after. Sorry. I started laughing because I thought about a Nick Swartzen bit from 2008, which I'm going to say on my deathbed to my grandson, and he's going to go, who the hell is that? It's like when you're talking to your grandpa

he's like, you never watched Peter O'Toole? And I'm like, I have no idea what the hell that is, grandpa. Again, I've never met my grandpa so I don't know why I'm saying that. I met Nick Swartzen once. Do you want to know where I met Nick Swartzen? I sure do. Tell your Nick Swartzen story.

Former spokesman for Barks Root Beer, by the way. You said it. So I'm so embarrassed. Do you know the IHOP on Sunset? Yeah. Not on Sunset. Like in West Hollywood? I think it is on Sunset, but yeah.

I was kissing a boy outside of it, and then he stopped kissing me, and he's like, hey, that's Nick Swartzen. I'm like, hey, you're Nick Swartzen. He's like, yeah. And he's like, what are you guys, like a couple? And we're like, yeah. And that's my Nick Swartzen. That's the most romantic story outside an ihop featuring

nick swartzen that i have ever heard nicole oh my god okay you're so hollywood next opinion please for the love of god i really need a filter oh my gosh i can't take that voicemail seriously well you're gonna have to my name is rachel i'm from uh the san francisco bay area and my opinion is that chicken skin is garbage hot trash always it's just chewy fatty nastiness anyway i love you guys thank you bye rachel we love the bay area yeah we love you but this opinion is a bad opinion. Mac Dre would be pissed. Yeah.

I don't know if he likes chicken skin, but he might. You know who likes chicken skin? Who's that? Jesus Christ, that's dreadful. So shake it. I ain't got none, but I'm planning on growing some. Imagine all the Hebrews going dumb. Dancing upon chariots and turning tight ones.

I loved chicken skin when I was a kid. I used to steal the chicken skin off of a whole bird and just eat it. I love chicken skin. When I was a kid, I used to steal the chicken skin off of a whole bird and just eat it. That is monstrous. As Juzians, it is part of our culture. So we eat a fun thing

called gribanas. I do not eat gribanas. You don't eat gribanas? Hell no. I grew up like, I wasn't snacking on it every day, but yeah, it's one of my favorite things.

If you're making schmaltz, what you do is you put the chicken skin into a pot and you render it down and then you strain it, you kind of clarify it, and you get lovely chicken fat that is used for cooking, but the rendered chicken skin, which you're talking

about chicken skin being fatty and chewy, if you're cooking it good it should be neither. The subcutaneous fat should be rendered and the chewy should turn to crispy. Now, I also happen to love chewy chicken skin. I love all chicken skins. You get Hainan chicken and rice, right?

You get that just the fat should be rendered. Velvety, velvety. It's a lovely velvety fat. You do like a braised chicken feet or something like that. Or even braised wings in like a Filipino soup, like in, not guinatong. What's the other one? Might have been manut. I know what you're talking about.

The eggs in it too? Apritara, apritara. I know what you're talking about. The eggs in it too? Apritara. Apritara. That's what it's called. Yeah, it's like eggs and chicken wings. And the skin is just melty and jiggly. I play around with different styles of chicken skin because it sounds like you're eating bad ones. I agree that a roast chicken that has not been properly kept dry, right?

I think that skin can get chewy and it's annoying. But open your heart up. I feel bad that we gave her a yeah, yeah, yeah with that terrible opinion. Don't feel bad. Also, side note, my mom told me to not eat chicken skin because it had a lot of hormones in it and I would grow a mustache. And you. But little did she know that I was a Persian girl and I would grow a mustache anyways.

So what? You could have been happy with a mustache. I could have been happy. But yeah, chicken skin's good. And I had a lot of chicken skin and didn't grow a mustache, Ella. So there you go. We should get her on the pod. Best Koresh.

What the frick is Koresh? Koresh. Koresh? Koresh. Koresh. David Koresh. Leader of the Branch Davidians. I want to talk more about cults on this podcast.

Can you stop talking about food? I just want to talk about Om Shinrikyo. Oh, the Moonies? Not the Moonies. No, that's, ooh, but they had a weird part in the assassination of Shinzo Abe. That is correct. How many exciting political things can you say? Can you stop talking? We could could hear it you were the one

that interrupted it nicole you did we're not having this fight right now not in front of maggie maggie i'm sorry hi josh and nicole i am samantha from north georgia and i was recently um at my boyfriend's family reunion. And his grandfather made these cucumbers soaked in lime. And then we would cover them in tahini. And I just thought it was really good. And it was something I've never tried before. I've done that with pickles, which technically cucumbers are pickles. But yeah, I thought that was really cool.

And something that I've never tried before. I thought I'd like to hear your opinion on it so thank you bye well i've grown up with with uh fruit carts and like fruteros and stuff like my whole life so this isn't uncommon for me i don't only get cucumbers i do the whole medley of fruits vegetables whatever they have typically Typically, what I get is mango, oranges, cucumbers, coconut,

and then cantaloupe. And then they put lemon salt and tajin, lime salt and tajin. And it's delicious. I've never done it with pickles before. It's kind of foreign to me

to do it with pickles, but the cucumber makes total sense and I'm really glad you tried it after all these years of not trying it. I just say,

todas las frutas con todo. Just give me all the fruits with all the sauces on it. I'm really glad you tried it after all these years of not trying it. I just say, todas las frutas con todo. Just give me all the fruits with all the sauces on it. I'm a huge fan. I love that you tried this for the first time and are super excited about it and continue doing it. And I think there are a lot of people especially in this weird online mob situation

that we have where if you say, I just tried this thing for the first time and I like it, people go you never heard of that? It's actually really common. And that gets really, really annoying. People do not know things until they learn them. You're right, Josh. Right?

Growing up in Southern California, we had, you know, the awesome ability to go to Mexican fruit carts, right? That's right. To be surrounded by a lot of Mexican people who were just eating stuff like that all the time. So, like, I remember, you know, eating, remember eating Pulparindo candy all the time growing up. Sure, yeah, from the 99 cent store. From the 99 cent store.

My dad worked in a 99 cent store. We live in Oceanside, California. But to experience a food for the first time and to be mind blown by it, freaking awesome. Yeah. And incredible that you can tell people about that now. I'm really happy for you. So you can do that now. Yeah, it's cucumber, lime, tahini.

Do it with some jicama too, man. I'm a big jicama guy. Jicama's great. that now. Yeah, it's cucumber lime tahini. Do it with like some jicama too, man. I'm a big jicama guy. Jicama's great. Underrated. Yeah. But I have a giant bottle of tahini on me at all times. Me too. Not on me in my cabinet.

Yeah, me too. Big fan. I don't have chamoy though. No, I typically, chamoy's good, but it's like as a treat. My sister has chamoy in her fridge. Really? And she loves it. Does she like rim micheladas with it?

She doesn't drink. Really, at all? My sister does not drink, but she loves chamoy. Yeah, I make a good virgin michelada. Tell you what. You can invite her. It's just LaCroix and tomato juice. Ew! No, but I will put

I Love Micheladas is the best michelada mix. Sorry, from the Lopez family who founded Guelaguetza, the restaurant, the Oaxacan restaurant in Los Angeles. They make a great michelada mix. Get I Love Michelada is just a little free ad plug because it is dank. And on that note. Are we done? I think we're done.

We had so much sugar, like I don't know what time it is. I'm actually, I'm like so full that I can't speak at the normal cadence. I have to take a breath every once in a while. And on that note, thank you for listening to Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We've got new audio-only episodes on Wednesdays, wherever you get your podcasts. And then on Fridays, we drop the video version where you can see all the mouth sounds explained

by the visuals of what Nicole and I were, in fact, doing. And if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles, you can hit us up at 833-DOG-POD1. The number, again, is 833 dog pod 1 the number again is 833 dog pod 1 and for more mythical kitchen check us out on youtube where we launch new videos every week we'll see you next time big boy i'm sorry i don't know why i did that nicole started it no i did it well you ended it