A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best Holiday Food?

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

Today, we're wracking our eggnoggins to figure out the best holiday food. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. If you guys noticed a little bit of a delay today, Nicole and I are each home for the holidays, but we took our fancy microphones home with us so you wouldn't be stuck podcast-less. In what can only be described as an absolute butthole of a year, you may find yourself trying to reclaim holiday joy through food. So if you can trick your taste buds into thinking everything is fine,

you'll be fine, we're all fine. Eat the green bean casserole and it'll all be fine. Anyways, today we're racking our egg noggin for the best holiday food. This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendy-Zadeh.

And today we are talking about the best holiday food. So what had happened here, Nicole, is we recently had a holiday called Thanksgiving. We sure did. We sure did. Normally all the family comes around, you create this big old great meal that is steeped in some form of American tradition, at least. And I had made my favorite holiday casserole, which is green bean.

Yes, I know. And you still never had it in its final form? You made me make it one time? No, you made me make it one time, and I think I did a pretty good job, if you ask me. I just used three ingredients. It was a little bit of those frozen French green beans

and then a little bit of the canned Campbell's soup and then a lot of French onions. I remember I criticized you for something though. I was like, no, no, no. I used frozen beans and you said, you gotta use canned

little lady. And I'm like, hey, don't call me little lady. Hey, Tuts. Hey, Tuts. Use the stuff in the can. It's cheaper. It'll shave margins by 5% as I took a long drag of an unfiltered cigarette indoors. Exactly. canned green beans make the best this year for thanksgiving i made my green beans fresh which was a mistake i tried to cook them in a lot of salt water for like 15 minutes until you didn't have to chew them to recreate the like effect of canned but it wasn't quite right but that said green bean casserole three ingredients green beans condensed cream mushroom soup and french's fried onions to me is one of those things that i will only eat once a year possibly twice on thanksgiving and christmas but it is like one of my favorite dishes. And so it got me thinking, what are these holiday

specific dishes that you really crave, but you still will not actually eat it outside of the holiday season? Because there's a lot if you think about it. But is green bean casserole, is that your answer? Green bean casserole? No, it's not because I had to do a lot of digging. I had to do a lot of digging in my soul. Okay. So what did you find out? I found out after a lot of soul searching. You know, I consulted my hypnotherapist. I consulted my astrologer. I consulted my astronomer.

And they were like, sir, we don't do that. You're confusing us with astrology. And I was like, listen, star boy, tell me what my favorite food is. That's all the same person, right? Your hypnotherapist, your astronomer, and your astrolog that's all the same person right all your hypnotherapist your astronomer and your astrologer are all the same person right yeah carl found him on craigslist he's a good dude yeah you gotta see he got a studio apartment in van nuys he does all three out of them wow yeah uh-huh no he got one of those like uh telescopes that he got on qvc

a carl of all trades if you will uh stuffing the answer is stuffing for me stuffing is what do you mean carl told me that why carl was like don't laugh nicole this is a holiday tradition i have like positive emotions associated with stuffing you're laughing why is it stuffing why i think the same reason you laughed is the same reason why it's my favorite holiday food. Okay. Because it's the most nonsensical food. Wet bread. It's wet bread.

It's wet bread. It's like wet bread soaked in animal fat and juice and then just like hydrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could literally like microwave stuffing, which makes it infinitely funnier to me. You could serve microwave stuffing? Is that what you're trying to say well you could make the perfect stuffing in the microwave as well because all you need to do you just need the bread to like hydrate from the juices you need some of that to evaporate so the bread's like this perfect like kind of wet but dry amorphous solid consistency because like non-newtonian fluid stuffing is a

non-newtonian fluid the nano and once it once you chew it in your mouth and it just dissolves into like a slime you know it's it's beautiful it is absolutely delicious and i know so many people that love stuffing however for centuries nicole centuries the stuffing industry big stuffing the lobbyist group has been trying to get people to eat stuffing year-round and they can't because it is such a nonsensical food that you only eat during the holidays. And to me, that is the essence of what a perfect holiday food is. I don't even care about my opinion right now because stuffing is so, there's so many iterations of stuffing that's like bothering me. Do you, okay, okay.

Your ideal stuffing, explain it to me. Number one, is it stuffed inside of an animal or is it served in a casserole dish? Absolutely, absolutely not stuffing has nothing to do with actually stuffing inside of an animal anymore it is simply wet bread i make it in a casserole dish okay i bake it but now that i'm thinking about it i wish i would have microwaved it i get really simple i've made a lot of complicated stuffings i've done like the oyster and cornbread stuffing with toasted hazelnuts i've done all that but to me to me that distracts from the beauty of stuffing, which is animal fat and wet bread. So I take, I actually used lodge bread this year.

Okay. Because I happen to have a bunch of pre cubed up dried out lodge bread after I made croutons from an old loaf. So I had that because I was just doing the Thanksgiving dinner for two, right? With me and Julia. And I took the turkey drippings and I put that in a pot with a bunch of sauteed mirepoix, a little extra chicken stock, a little straight up MSG, and then like random poultry herbs, sage, thyme, a lot of black pepper in there, and then a little bit of nutmeg. And I tossed it in all of the bread and then I baked it off just until it was that perfect

non-Newtonian solid, all the liquid soaked up of the bread and then I baked it off just until it was that perfect non-Newtonian solid. All the liquid soaked up inside the bread and it was easily the best thing on the table. Like we all agreed that the stuffing was by far the best thing on the table. We all. You and Julia. And her cat. Her cat who has become our surrogate son that we talked to.

Pippin. Pippin. Pippin loved it. So funny. Okay, that's really interesting. So it's been five, six minutes into the podcast. Are you going to ask me what mine is? Or is this just the Josh show? Yeah, Nicole, why is your favorite holiday food also stuffing? Please answer in 30 seconds or less. Okay, it's not stuffing, but it's definitely a carb.

It's panettone That is the most 80-year-old named Blanche answer I've ever heard They're like, oh, my best gal friend may have dated an Italian man in 1946 And he introduced me to panettone Dude, it's delicious, come on It's like fruitcake's classier cousin that's studied abroad in italy it's like fruitcake's worst cousin in my opinion it's just it's just like dry bread with some like fruit it's not dry wait wait wait it's not dry it's beautifully

hydrated it has a tinge of sourness and it has it's studded with candied fruit and nuts and chocolate sometimes and then if you go to italy you can get it stuffed with tiramisu filling and candied oranges. And the world of Panettone is so beautiful and so vast, just like stuffing, Josh. Except mine is classier. Like everything else in life, mine is a little classier than yours. I'm not going to argue against the classiness on this. Anything said in an Italian accent is infinitely classier than yours i'm not gonna argue against the classiness anything said in an italian accent is infinitely classier and you can't say stuffing with an italian like a stuffing

i'm giannotti laurentis and today we are making a stuffing it just doesn't quite work no but panettone is beautiful can i tell you why it's the perfect leftover too. Have you ever made a panettone panini with your leftover meats inside of it? No, that sounds brutal in the best way. Yeah. Like, okay. Imagine like a candied fruit and meat sandwich. Okay. You know, when you say it like that, it doesn't sound as appetizing. No, no. Fruit and meat. Fruit fruit meat is great i because nicole you're uh in persian culture fruit meat is big i eat a lot of fruit meat so much fruit meat i love the fruit meat got the barberries with the the chicken and the tachin yeah i just had that the other day actually it was real good i'm so jealous i've been eating tacos for the last six

days straight sorry i'm kind of sick of it listen Listen, if you want, my mom can give you some. She can drive it to you. She has nothing to do. Send Shala over here. We never hang out. Me and your mom never hang out anymore. Yeah. Anymore? Oh, Nicole. How often do you eat panettone? I only get it for the season. It's only around during the holiday season because- But it's like every year you look forward to it. Of course. Yeah. Well, I used to get the Trader Joe's stuff, which is also really, really dank, but I've matured into getting the $40

panettone loaves from Italy. Yes. Wait, hold on, hold on. That's a game changer. This loaf of dry fruitcake... It's from Italy! ...costs $40? It's from Italy.

You're getting a scam. You know how much it costs to make stuffing? Like 38 cents if you do it right. Yeah, no, you're a scam. No, you know what? Sometimes during the holiday season, you need to do something a little special for yourself. Maybe it's locking yourself in a room

and recording a podcast. Maybe it's getting a $40 Panettone from the local Italian shop. You don't know my life. This is our form of self-care, to get on a zoom call and yell at each other we'll suck at home exactly i think panettone is special in the way that it's a gift it comes in a beautiful box you unwrap the box and it's this gorgeous loaf

and then have you ever have you ever seen a video of panettone being made how they flip it upside down and they let no never this is the most Panettone exposure. I've only had the Panettone from Trader Joe's. And I bought that like once. I think I've had Panettone once in my life. I got it from Trader Joe's when I was like a kid because I was like, oh my God, look at this delicious moist cake filled with fruits and nuts.

And then I sliced it and I was like, oh, that's called old bread. That's okay. It's not old. And it's delicious with a cup of coffee, an espresso, a little bit of warm milk it's phenomenal you know how i only enjoy wet foods though okay dip it in the coffee bro what do you mean do you think my body doesn't produce enough saliva that's not true because

i see you talk a lot and sometimes when you talk much, you kind of get some spitballs in the side of your mouth. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm talking about food a lot. I talk about food a lot. My mouth waters when I talk. I shouldn't have to apologize for that. No, I'm saying your saliva production, from my viewpoint, is normal. Nicole, I think your saliva production is also normal.

And I think it's important for coworkers to be able to say that to each other. You know? I think it's important for co-workers to be able to say that to each other you know i think it's important for our workflow yeah yeah yeah uh what are we talking about you need to go to a doctor you need to go to a glandular doctor i i do need to go to a doctor i've had some gland issues before um you don't sweat you don't sweat from your armpits i don't i only sweat for my lower body um, below the belly button is what I consider lower body. Because that's the prime range is in between belly button and legs is where the sweat comes. And it's mostly in the back. So when you work out, like your chest doesn't get sweaty.

No. Do your arms get sweaty? Hold on, hold on. So the chest will get sweaty a little bit from sweat dripping down because I sweat from my head let's be clear and then i sweat from below my belly button but there but there is about a i'm measuring now about a two and a half foot gap in which sweat does not go and also but you know eventually if you get so sweaty this is going somewhere it's not but let's roll with it eventually you'll get so sweaty that your whole body is covered in sweat because if you're upside down the sweat's coming from your lower body

so can your chest if you're right side up the sweat is coming from your head but when i was bigger i used to have very prominent nipples like kind of conically shaped nipples and so my shirt the nipples the sweat could never crest the the areola to get to the nipples and so i would just have dry spots on my nipples when i sweat and I would get made fun of in high school by my teammates. Oh, I'm sorry. But yeah, I do think your glandular problem might be connected to the lack of saliva that you produce, which is why you like wet foods, which is why you like stuffing.

But not everybody is built like you, Josh. I understand. Stuffing is gross. Wait a second. Stuffing is actually nasty when I think about it. Have you ever had bad stuffing where people just put like

raw carrots and like chestnuts and stuff and like cornbread and you're just like, what are you doing, Kathleen? Yeah, no, no, no. That's my family. That's why I'm not allowed back at Thanksgiving's anymore.

Or it's why everyone doesn't talk to me. It's because I talk crap on their Thanksgiving food on Twitter once and I didn't know to me it's because i talk crap on their thanksgiving food on twitter once and i didn't know that that one of their dental practices followed me on twitter i i hope i hope the dental practice is doing fine but uh you know but they did bring stuffing with just a bunch of raw cranberries sliced in half and tossed in there yeah i never understood that no stop that's what i'm saying people over complicate stuffing but to me the

best part of stuffing is its pure simplicity that it is wet bread it's animal fat and it's a food that you would never eat in any other time of the year do you think panettone would be doing that who's doing what who's who's doing that simplicity simplicity that you're talking about i would i would venture to guess that a majority of americans are eating stovetop stuffing or Mrs. Cubison's. Mrs. Cubison's in stovetop. Mrs. Cubison is the Laura Scudder and stovetop is the Skippy. Oh my God, I love Laura Scudder's. Wow, what a great reference. Thanks for doing that for me.

I'm good at analogies. That's why I got a good SAT score. Wow. Way to brag about taking your SAT. No, no, no, hold on. Don't take that out of context. Back to my glandular disorder and why I like wet bread. I believe it slides down the throat easy

without the lubrication of saliva making it better than panettone. If panettone were available year round, would you still eat it? Or is it strictly the scarcity? That's a great question. You know, I've never lived in a world where panettone's been around a year long, so I

can't really answer that. Is it strictly a holiday thing in Italy as well, Dina? I think so. I think it's a seasonal thing, like who eats fruitcake in July? That's true. Dude, I do love, fruitcake is one of those foods like Brussels sprouts. It got so maligned through pop culture for all of us growing up. You know, like, oh, fruitcake, you pass it around as a gift, it's gross.

Now that, a fruitcake is absolutely delicious. Like the real dense stuff with just like the nuts and all the candied fruit and all the spices is soaked in brandy. Yeah, good brandy soak. That's exactly what I was just about to say. Yeah, that is some good stuff. But you still think panettone is better than that?

I do because it's not sickly sweet. It can take on multiple forms it's it's a chameleon of studded fruit cakes does that work that works i think it does work i think there's i have not been able i don't think it's actually glandular related but like typically like dry crusty pastries that are pretty popular i mean in the u.s of course but also i think like outside right like that whole culture where you'll eat like a concha and you'll like dip it into the cafe de olla, you know, stuff like that,

where I'm so, I rarely ever sit down to enjoy a meal. Okay. If that makes sense. You know, like I never- I see what you're saying. I never languish with my cup of coffee and I never get to like enjoy that panettone. And if I am eating something for like pure enjoyment sake like a thanksgiving dinner like stuffing it is typically just like a gigantic

mess of foods with no pretense around it and i am just absolutely slurping down i ate a pound and a half of turkey this thanksgiving why just 24 ounces it was so good because one i used our method that we found out on myth munchers, the greatest name show of all time where you're wet brine and then you based the heck out of it and butter all the time. And wow, what a delicious turkey breast that was. And so for me, I like,

uh, these kinds of small foods with cultural ritual around them. Like you dip it in the coffee and you're enjoying good conversation and it's a gift is something that doesn't speak to my personal interests. Also, I've given stuffing as a gift. Well, you know, panettone is meant to be given as a gift. You do know that, right? That's lame.

Bring it to the holiday. You were saying? Take it away, boss. I saw you shaking your head. You were upset about something. No, no, no. I was saying, like, if it's a culturally prescribed gift, to me it means less. Whereas stuffing means a lot.

Because you're not supposed to give stuffing as a gift and that's why it's important, right? It's like getting an obligatory red lobster gift card from Nana on Christmas. Like it's nice to have, but it's like how much thought was in it? I'm just flaming my entire family. I love my red lobster gift card from Nana. But you know what I mean? Like how much thought did it take to send a gift card or a panettone versus like hey i made you a personally customized stuffing which i did while trying to court a woman in college and she thought it was really weird so i guess i see your point

so i just showed up for a door with a tray of stuffing i'll tell you the truth when if someone gives me a homemade gift wow i love that so much more than something like a gift card. But at the same time, you're giving me stuffing for my birthday? You're weird, bro. No, no, but what if, Nicole, what if I took all the elements of your personality, all the things that made Nicole Nicole, and I was able to put that into a brick of wet bread? Is that not, like, beautiful?

Josh, do it right now. Do it right now. Make me into stuffing right now i want to know what what components of me goes into the stuffing you brought this upon yourself one you're a very you're a very elegant person right so i'm probably gonna need to use some sort of elegant shape right i wouldn't just microwave the stuffing funicle i would take like um you know the bunt pans that we have that aren't shaped just like a normal bunt cake but they got the very intricate design uh-huh yeah yeah yeah yeah i would take that and I would use that as my vehicle. Of course, you got to use some sort of nice, elegant, fancy bread. I might, you know, go to Clark Street and get a bunch of

brioche. I think when you dehydrate brioche, it really soaks up flavors. And then, you know, I don't want to define you by your cultural heritage, but I would probably, you know, throw some sort of nods in there, right? A little bit of fenugreek, maybe a little bit of preserved lime just for that little bit of acid, right? And then, you know, maybe go sort of nods in there, right? A little bit of fenugreek, maybe a little bit of preserved lime just for that little bit of acid, right? And then, you know, maybe go a little bit bougier on the root vegetables, hit you up with some fennel in there.

Instead of onion, use some of those like purple rainbow carrots, maybe a little bit of radish involved. You know, I don't know. But what I'm saying, doesn't this see, isn't this beautiful? What are you going to do with the panettone?

Oh, I put a different fruit in there. No, get out of here. Stuffing is the most elegant and communicative fruit. You can't even say it with a straight face. Why don't you call it dressing? Why do you call it stuffing? I feel like if you call it dressing, then you're acknowledging the possibility

that you may one day stuff it into a bird, which I will never do. Really? You know what I'm saying? So dressing is the mentality that it's going into a bird, but stuffing isn't? That doesn't make any sense. No, no, no, no, the opposite, the opposite. Oh, the opposite, the opposite.

Typically, and I believe in the South, this is what they do, where if it's not inside the bird, they call it dressing. But if it's inside the bird, they call it stuffing. Obviously, that makes sense. But that implies, if you're saying dressing that implies that the possibility that you would have stuffed this into a bird like you're not calling it stuffing because you didn't stuff into a bird whereas i was never ever going to stuff anything into a bird meaning i don't even need the category of dressing in my life got it so i'm reclaiming stuffing because I will never stuff into a bird.

I did stuff a whole chicken with a stuffing made from Domino's pizza. That was pretty good. Wee bit. Oh, I don't feel good. I ate a lot of eggs. We may never see.

Keep that one in the edit. Nicole, we may never see eye to eye on panettone versus stuffing. I just don't have enough panettone experience. I am very interested in eating this tiramisu filled panettone and paying $40 for it. Because I think if you spend a lot of money on food, it feels more special.

Okay, okay. Let me tell you this. What if I got you a 22 pound panettone for $349 by Borsari? And also it had, let me tell you what it has in it. It has orange peel, raisins, and citron in a borsari box. You want one of these? Yeah, yeah, send it. When's it going to get here?

I don't know, but there's also, wait, there's so many. I'm looking online right now. There's one at Neiman Marcus for $48. There's a limited edition panettone by the Flamingo Estate for $75. What do you mean limited edition panettone? All food is limited edition. It goes bad. No, it's not.

No, it's not. What do you mean a limited edition panettone? That's like a hype drop. Like they're doing Yeezys for dry fruit bread. Yes, that's exactly it. Yo, look at it. This is the tiramisu one. I know you guys can't see it,

but dude, look at this. It has little striations of tiramisu filling inside. Doesn't that just make you feel all good on the inside? Makes your giblets all jiggly? My giblets are jiggling right now, Nicole. They're jiggling. I did not know that the world of Panettone was this vast. I didn't know that there was so much cultural meaning kind of shoved in there and how cool you could make it.

I am genuinely serious. I want to immerse myself into Panettone culture now. I'm telling you, it's really interesting. Stuffing culture isn't much. No, no, that's not true. I'm sure stuff, you just told me, you would make me into a beautiful Clark Street bread studded with saffron, whatever.

But that also exists in the Panettone world. At the end of the day, Panettone is a vessel, and your creativity that you pour into it is what makes it unique same goes for stuffing i think that's where you and i actually have a little bit of um what is it called when two things come together unity you n-i-t-y yeah we have you n-i-t-y that's a unity um shout out queen latifah coming on the show yeah you're saying that we are the same and if it weren't for my potential glandular N-I-T-Y, that's a unity. Shout out Queen Latifah coming to the show. Yeah, yeah. You're saying that we are the same, and if it weren't for my potential glandular disorder that causes possibly a lack of saliva,

then we may enjoy the same holiday food. Exactly, Josh. It's one of my favorite mantras, actually. Repeat after me. Same, same, but different. Same, same, but different, considering a possible glandular disorder. I'm telling you.

Wow, look at that. See? We're the same. What are other contenders? What are other holiday food contenders for you? Well, also, there's something you should know. I am a child of immigrants, so everything that I enjoy is seen through a specific filter. So when you say stuffing, stuffing is something very new to me

because we traditionally don't do stuffing. We just take cherry rice and shove it in a turkey or a bird and call it a day an alba loopola yeah pretty much yeah and that's kind of all of my knowledge of stuffing before i went to my first quote-unquote not persian thanksgiving and i was like whoa what's this wet bread um are there's another thing. I don't know. I mean, latkes are a big one. Oh, yeah. Well, Hanukkah.

Latkes are huge. Love a good latke. I love a good sufganyot. I love sufganyot. I didn't grow up eating sufganyot. We would just get jelly donuts from the local Cambodian-owned donut shop and then call it sufganyot. That's the same thing.

And I'm fine with it. It's pretty much the same thing. Of course it is. Sufganyot is just a jelly donut. There's nothing else special about it. Except one time I made a banana Nutella sufganiyot in my own comfort in my own home. Wow, it was good.

Someone brought something up about the Bacon, Is Bacon Overrated podcast. That was, because we were trying to figure out what the food now that is super overrated and everything. And someone mentioned Nutella. And I think avocado could also probably be in that category as well. I love avocado more than anything.

Oh, Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Where were all these good answers for us when we're actually recording that podcast? I don't know. I don't know. Lost in the sauce, I guess. Lost in the sauce.

What I started doing with latkes to me, which sort of disempowered them. I still absolutely love latkes entirely and latkes are different shout out to helen rosner on twitter who said that the best latkes are hash browns from denny's um which i i don't necessarily disagree with but to me a good latke shouldn't be completely crispy there's got to be a little bit of squish from the onion wet yeah you know what i'm saying there's gonna be that little bit of squish from the onion wet yeah you know what i'm saying there's gonna be that little bit of crispy yeah i also started uh in my first year in culinary school i made latkes for everybody because i was the only jewish kid and then i put duck fat in them it was really good it was a good time is that kosher i guess it's pretty much just uh pretty much just just schmaltz it's duck schmaltz

it's schmaltz that went to grad school it's just sch schmaltz. It's all just schmaltz, Josh. But I started making latkes year round because I was like, look, I got potatoes. I got other root vegetables. I was using butternut squash. I made some beet latkes that were really dank. And to me, it kind of took the specialness away from like a good Hanukkah latke

because now when I'm going to be making latkes, you know, I'm going to be like, well, I've had these. I had these in May. Whereas stuffing to me, I don't have that. I refuse to make it outside of Thanksgiving potentially Christmas I eat latkes all the time Persians call them kuku sib zamini kuku sib zamini yes sib zamini means apple from under the ground whoa so like like pomme de terre like the literally the translation in French as well exactly so we have kuckoo seeds at me like

once once a month at my house so i eat latkes all the time too so i guess that's why they're not that special to me but i guess sufganiyot is special because my mom doesn't allow us to have anything above the limit of sugar in our house so like the fact that we have sufganiyot in the house is a trip like if there's sufganiyot in the house it's gone in like 60 seconds so i guess yeah moon cakes well i don't know if you know this my dad would go to china once every three months did you know that no my dad that's very cool would go to china so much that he literally would bring like it. Like, he would go to China so much, we would have mooncakes once a year from China. Yeah, when I lived in Little Saigon for the Tet Festival, I suppose the Vietnamese version of Chinese New Year?

Is that right? I don't know if I'm being culturally accurate. But yeah, we used to get the mooncakes with the salted egg yolk inside. It's just this, just like beautiful pastry crust around, just like, you know, it's kind of like wet filling of like nuts and bean paste.

And then the salted egg yolk just cuts right through it. That is a fantastic holiday only tradition. Wow. I think I like mooncakes more than I like panettone. I think I like mooncakes more than I like stuff.

My mouth is literally, Nicole, I don't have a glandular disorder. My mouth is watering. It's filled with saliva thinking about mooncakes. Dude, yeah, I think mooncakes might be my favorite holiday thing. Well, when we think about holidays, what about a box of chocolates from Russell Stover's? Oh, that's a good one. No, there's a, shout out to Nana out there in Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Well, she's in Florida now, but she's in Allentown. There's a local chocolate maker, I believe, called Joshua Early, maybe? Wow, is that who you were named after? Yeah, I was named after the Russell Stover of Allentown, Pennsylvania. And we used to get the box of those chocolates. And I remember when I was a kid, like, trying to, like, leave all the harder caramels for my brother because I just wanted the sweet, gushy buttercreams.

That's a special thing. And again, never had any of those outside the holidays. like leave all the harder caramels for my brother because I just wanted the sweet, gushy buttercreams. Uh-huh. That's a special thing. And again, never had any of those outside the holidays. What are some other foods we eat? Well, I'm thinking about like, you know, my Christmas tradition. So like, you know, I grew up, obviously my mom is Jewish and my dad is like white. He's like American, like not Christian at all,

but you know, like Christmas celebrating American person. So, you know, we used to grow up just eating like garbage ham on, on Christmas. Uh, but now my brother and I have really made it a point to take up the Chinese food on Christmas thing. Yeah. And so for the last couple of years, we've gone to this, um, it's a, a Uyghur restaurant in Laguna Hills, California from the Xinjiang province. Um, so it's like Chinese halal food. Very cool. You get a lot of Jews there too, because halal and kosher share a lot of the same rules. And so we've been eating like halal Chinese food.

That's awesome. The last couple of Christmases, which is absolutely fantastic. They got that like puffy sesame scallion bread. So good. Tofu in the brown sauce. I unfortunately have never had Uyghur food, but I've always wanted to try it.

Oh, so good. Oh my God. The cumin lamb. Nicole, you gotta get down with the cumin lamb on Jewish Christmas. Okay, fine. I'm down. Tell me when and where to go. Oh, next year, Nicole.

Next year in Jerusalem. Next year in a Uyghur restaurant. Next year in a Uyghur restaurant in South Orange County. Other honorable mentions. I feel like as this comes to a close, we need an eggnog. Oh, what? Ew. next year in a Uyghur restaurant in South Orange County. Other honorable mentions. I feel like as this comes to a close, we need an eggnog. Ugh, what?

Ew. I tried it once. It tastes like weird throw up. I like weird throw up. It's like a creme anglaise. Pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pie. That gotta be up there.

You know I like pumpkin pie. Tamales? Tamales aren't Christmas specific, though. Tamales are just a thing that's common common in holidays and i always make sure to get one get one at el pollo loco every time they do tamale fest they do what el pollo loco has tamales it's crazy oh my god they they do uh they deep fry a tamale and put it on a bowl of rice and call it a crispy tamale bowl you got to get down to the el pollo loco for christmas okay uh japan japan they go to kfc for christmas that's a big thing. Yeah.

And they make like a whole show of it. I like that. Popeye's started doing, now we're just getting into the fast food discussion. But yeah, Popeye's does a Cajun, whole Cajun turkey now, I think. Yeah, I've seen the, I've seen the ads for it. Looks good. Yeah, you got the Jewish brisket. Brisket never been my favorite.

You got the Tzimmes. I don't need Tzimmes. I don't need Russell Simmons. I don't need Gene Simmons on the holidays. russell simmons i don't need jane simmons on the holidays i guess that's just an ashkenazi thing what i think we've learned today nicole is that i should go to a medical doctor agreed that's probably it and also i really want to get into panettone and i love that there are so many traditions from so many different cultures around certain holidays and it really does make food more important and especially during these uncertain

times which if i get another email from a publicist that says during these uncertain times which if i get another email from a publicist that says during these uncertain times i'm gonna bash my head into a wall just to make it a little bit more certain um but you know it is something that i think people can kind of like reclaim a sense of normalcy and kind of remind themselves of traditions and for me that tradition just happens to be wet bread but i'm excited to also get into your dry fruit bread tradition i have a great idea. How about I buy you a nice, beautiful panettone? We turn it into a bread pudding,

which is stuffing, which is stuffing but sweet. Good idea? Nicole, as a brilliant mind once said to me, same, same, but different, insofar as you have a glandular disorder, potentially. But again, not confirmed, because I should see a doctor. All right, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say.

Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the internet. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles! All right, so we got at Morgan Kip 323. Almost everyone puts too much milk on their cereal. The best ratio is 78% cereal

and 2% milk. I don't know if they meant 22% milk or if they just think that every bowl of cereal should be 80% and the 20% is negative space to prevent negative space. No, you need negative space. This makes sense to me mathematically in my head. Okay. So do they mean by volume? So if you're going like one cup of fruit loops, which is going to be again, a majority error, and then one cup of milk, or are you talking about like

400 grams of fruit loops versus 400 grams of milk? Because those are two very different things. Two very different things. I will say that. You know, whenever you say, are you trying to get me to graph a parabola right now? Because that's not going to happen. I'm so sorry. I don't know why.

You take the sine curve and then you set that on a negative regression analysis. I will say what I used to do. There was a pay-by-weight yogurt bar before Yogurtland took over everything. That was near my high school and they have Captain Crunch and stuff, right? And so I used to just fill a large bowl of Captain Crunch. I would pay about 30 cents

because it's by weight and it weighs nothing. Then I'd go to Starbucks next door and I would pour the free milk into my cereal and I got a bowl of cereal for 30 cents and that's just smart that's economics yeah for sure are you the guy that wrote the book for economics is that you that is me yeah the apple and the orange and it's like sewn together that's you huh yeah yeah the hockey players yeah yeah yeah what yeah they're all hot you gotta be hot to be a hockey player that's what that guy said that's what I remember from that book um I think I see what they're saying with putting too much milk on the cereal

because an intricate part of the cereal eating process is that the milk is then flavored at the end. If you put too much milk, it's going to be too dilute. But if you put too much milk in your cereal and you got too much leftover milk, it's not flavored enough. You just pour more cereal into that spent milk. Yes. I eat old people milk.

So all of my cereals are dry. So this opinion does not have to do with me at all so whatever i'm an old person nicole can you milk me stop let's see what's next that person who reads books cheddar is the best cheese and you can quote me on that yeah it's pretty good i like cheddar yeah we literally did quote you on that um it's okay i like it it's not i mean like you really want to get into like the, the inner workings of, like, cheeses. Like, yeah, like, it's just the, it's the best all-purpose cheese. But, like, it's not the best cheese.

No, you know what? I'd probably disagree. I'd say Monterey Jack. I think Monterey Jack melts better. I recently got a sharp cheddar that I was very excited. Tillamook. I love Tillamook cheese. I love me a good sharp cheddar.

But it had, it was too sharp to melt properly. So I tried broiling it on something and it just broke. cheddar that i was very excited tillamook i love tillamook cheese yeah a good sharp cheddar but it had it was too sharp to melt properly so i tried broiling it on something and it just broke and i was like man never would have happened with monterey jack okay i take that back colby jack is my favorite cheese because i remembered that i'm a gemini and colby jack is the gemini of shame well cheddar cheddar is a cancer very you know you know, you're right. You got the sharpness that can screw it all up. You got this, the like mild one and meek and mild. No one likes that. So yeah, cancers are cheddar cheese,

Gemini's or Colby Jack. What are you, a Taurus? Taurus is American craft singles. I see you've been talking to my astrologer, astronomer, Craigslist friend. Thank you. Carl, his name is Carl. Carl and Van Nuys. I forgot his name. I talking to my astrologer, astronomer, Craig's list friend. Thank you. Carl. His name is Carl.

Carl and Van Nuys. I forgot his name. I wanted to call him Craig, but that was just the list that I found him on. All right. We got at Earth to Erica, Eggo waffles plus Kraft American cheese slices smothered in syrup. Yup. Nope.

I don't know. Nope. I don't know if this is a yup. You know what this is though? This is just like a vegetarian McGriddles. Yeah, oh wow. That's what this is. Oh wow, you're right.

You know how like when vegetarians- Maybe it is yes. When vegetarian, well, I don't prefer McGriddles, but you know when vegetarians go to In-N-Out and they're like, give me a grilled cheese and all that is is a hamburger without the hamburger? Yeah, I love the grilled cheese. I used to be a grilled cheese girl up until like 2011.

So skirt. No, it's great. I like like putting fries in it but that's what this is that's like if you go to to mcdonald's i guess you know it's waffles not not mcgriddle pancakes whatever but you'd be like yo give me a mcgriddle's without the egg and without the sausage and then you just get like cheese and syrup and pancakes which is not a flavor that i particularly enjoy but i respect your want for it i think you're correct i think initially i was like ew this is disgusting but now when you break it down to what it actually is i'm down i'm down af molins sc00 bread and butter pickles are the best pickles all my friends hate them but they are my favorite so you guys have a group chat where you talk about your least favorite pickles

that's crazy bro you ain't got a pickle chat i'm on pickle chat sounds like a dirty app i don't like that pickle chat uh my favorite pickles i'm a kosher dill kosher dill kosher dill maybe a spicy kosher dill you know there's a rapper called kosher dills no they ain't good uh that's a that's a resounding yes from Nicole. I don't know. We're never going to get kosher dills on the show if you have an attitude like that. No, I've never actually heard kosher dills music. I just know that they exist. Yeah, bread and butter pickles, a little too sweet for my taste.

They have their place occasionally, but it's not my favorite. ShannieCB23, why do I have to drink more water when I drink so much tea that has water in it? Are you talking about how like there's a recommended eight glasses of water a day situation? Is this what this is? They are. And I have never agreed with an opinion casserole more. Okay. Well, like, yeah. I think staying hydrated is really important.

And I feel like you can determine what your hydration is. Like it can be fizzy boobalak, what I call LaCroix. Thank you. It can be tea. It can be maybe not coffee because I know coffee has dehydrating qualities in it. But like, yeah, something like tea or iced tea. Or Diet Coke. No, no.

No, no, because here's the thing. Diet Coke, the number one ingredient is water. Josh, I am not going to argue about that. Hold on, hold on. Hold on. You can break this down into like different properties. Like every time say you eat like a giant salad filled with iceberg lettuce, right? That's like 95% water or whatever. Like you're getting hydrated from that salad. So say you drink a Diet Coke, you can break that down into like, if you separated the ingredients from a Diet Coke and consumed them separately, right? Then that's the same thing as just the ingredients from a Diet Coke and consumed them separately, right, then that's the same thing as just drinking a can of Diet Coke.

So if you drink, you know, say 12 ounces of Diet Coke, that would be 11 and a half ounces of just pure water. I don't know about all that. And then you got to weigh, are the other things you're doing dehydrating you? Caffeine, caffeine can dehydrate you, but there's not nearly enough in there to actually dehydrate you. You got a little bit of sodium, which can actually help you retain water. Hello, Gatorade. It's not nearly enough in there to actually dehydrate you you got a little bit of sodium which can actually help you retain water hello gatorade it's got electrolytes in it and then a bunch of you know uh what we could colloquialize into the term poison yes artificial sweeteners but it's delicious no you can drink all the tea you want all the

diet coke you want you never have to drink plain water i haven't drank plain water in years a disclaimer we are not doctors we are not doctors. We are not nutritionists. We are just two podcasters looking for a place to talk. We are not doctors yet. We need to go to medical school to be doctors, Josh. Neither of us have the education background to be considered doctors. We can

still go back. I saw that Rodney Dangerfield movie. I am not going to... What is that movie called? I don't know. I think it's Back to School. I am not going to Rodney is that movie called? I don't know. I think it's Back to School. I am not going to Rodney Dangerfield my way into medical school. Sorry. Not right now. I am. All right. At Def Jam, sour cream can replace mayonnaise in almost every application. This is simply a lie. I have tried. When I am out of mayonnaise, I have tried using sour cream. It does not have the salt content. It does not have the fat content. They are two completely different condiments that look somewhat similar

because they both white and creamy. I agree. I don't think sour cream can take the place of mayonnaise. It can, it creates a different flavor profile when you add that tanginess. I don't think it does the same thing as mayonnaise. They want it to do the same thing as mayonnaise, but it doesn't do the same thing as mayonnaise. So they're just lying to themselves. They're lying to themselves to make themselves feel better because hating mayo is like such a personality trait you know it's not that important for you to hate mayo like no one's gonna hate you because you like mayo so stop hating on mayo for no reason it's really annoying and stop it just stop it get her junkyard dog baby hating since 87 great name uh salmon raw taste far superior than salmon cooked no matter which

way it may be cooked or seasoned uh okay so one time i went to this sushi bar in glendale next to this wedding boutique and i forgot what it's called but i had the best sashimi of my life there literally i ate the salmon and it melted in my mouth turned into water straight on contact and that's my favorite application of salmon I've ever had in my life so I agree with you but also people don't always have that experience with salmon so uh I don't know I guess I just got really lucky that I had really good raw salmon one time that trumped all other salmon applications yeah the history like salmon has only been eaten raw i mean i know you have like gravlax and cured salmon and i do love especially like a good cured salmon to me it doesn't even have to be like smoked like i just love cured salmon i made my own

um pretty recently but salmon as like a raw application in like sushi sashimi poke all that like it was literally from like a norwegian salmon salesman we We talked about this. Yeah, so I'm always fascinated with these like new food discoveries that no one had for centuries until one guy was just like, let me try and make some money. Now we get opinions like salmon raw tastes superior to salmon cooked.

I really hate overcooked salmon. It's absolute garbage to me. Yeah, me too. But I remember the first time I had like a proper like mid to mid-rare cook on salmon, mind was completely blown. And I love a good crispy skin mid rare salmon that's just served like hot, but still a little bit raw in the middle. Juicy. It's delicious. I love a well cooked salmon filet. But again, the best salmon experience I've had is that beautiful raw piece of sashimi. One of the best pork experiences I had was pork sashimi. Where was this? That was good.

It was at Koshan, that fancy pig event. The dude just had like a cured, it wasn't like, it was like, you know, a normal cure like you would do for salmon. It was like a kind of like salt cured like pork that he was like slicing directly off of and he hit it with a little bit of like Maldon and a little bit of olive oil. Hot diggity dang, that was good. Awesome. All right. At Toaster Hood, I eat Doritos with cheese, guacamole, and Tostito salsa. I don't like dipping Doritos into dips. This makes sense. I understand this. The dip is on the chip.

You don't need the cheese with the Doritos because it's already cheesed. It's pre-cheesed for a reason. It's pre-cheesed. Josh, are you saying the flavoring on the outside is the dip? It clashes. I'm saying the flavoring on the outside is the dip? It clashes. I'm saying the flavoring on the outside clashes with the dips. And that's where I take on bridge with it. I will accept a hot sauce on the Doritos where you dump the hot sauce in the bag and you shake it.

But I will not accept them being dipped into things. I stand by your decision. We had a whole, we had a freaking manifesto about this last time. And I swayed you. Remember last time I swayed you a little bit you did you did you did you did but i guess this one just cuts too deep the doritos just too deep huh yeah don't touch my doritos don't tread on my doritos brayden underscore m says i will serve this in mexico and it needs to be more popular mexican slash Spanish rice plus banana. Okay, interesting.

Do you know what they call Mexican rice in Mexico? Rice? Yeah. Arroz rojo? Arroz rojo con gondoles? With peas? Gondoles, I think. Arroz con gondoles.

Con gondoles. And that's like an islander thing, right? Like that's like Puerto... I think it's Puerto Rican or Dominican, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oopsie, oopsie. I dig it. I know, I mean, do you think the banana they're talking about or like the like platanos?

No, you know, I've seen like random, I don't know if this is legit or not, but like I think I've seen like mashed banana next to Mexican rice before. Once or twice, like through like random like Instagram posts. I don't know about the validity of it, but if plantains taste good with Spanish rice,

why can't bananas, right? I agree. No, I fully agree. I love that little bit of like sweetness inside of the plate. I was really craving a Salvador in breakfast the other day. Oh, I had one at a place

called Con Sabor in K-Town.town it was nuts one of my favorite things i ever did the squeaky cheese the squeaky cheese you get the squeaky cheese and you get the crema and it's not like sour cream like it's like that sweet salvadoran crema you get the plantains you get the beans the eggs man oh but kill for a good salvadoran breakfast oh my gosh i miss i've only been there once and it still resonates in my mind because I was like going on one of my solo trips because sometimes what I like to do is like to just drive in random parts of Los Angeles

by myself and just have like a dinner by myself or a lunch by myself so I can clear my head. And that was my favorite one I've done in like the past four years. That's like the best way to experience the city too. Just like drive around and find a place. Like don't look at all the lists, you know, just drive around, find a place and like jump into it.

It's not always going to be good, you know, but neither are the places on the list, uh, that as well. But you know, you'll have some like fun experiences that you never would have, uh, you never would have thought you'd have. Chase and I went to, um, this random, I like, especially along Burbank Boulevard is you're like driving out to Van Nuys. There's just so, so many restaurants out there that serve so many different kinds of food. And one,

cause there's a lot of like Russian and Armenian and also like, you know, different like Latinx immigrant communities over there. And there are a lot of, I believe it's a Durangense from the state of Durango. There's a place called Gorditas Durango. And they served like a Durango style hamburger that had like pineapple and ham and like, you know, jalapenos on it and stuff. And traditional gorditas, which is like, you know, really great.

But it was a very strange restaurant. Chase and I were the only diners in there, and we had to rely on Chase's Spanish to get us through. Nice. We got, at Anna Vale's, my wife used to crunch up a snack sized bag of Doritos And eat them with a spoon That is because your wife is a classy lady She can't get Doritos covered on her finger She got stuff to do

Your wife is smart I eat my chips with chopsticks sometimes Because I don't have time to get my fingers dirty I thought you said you eat chips with chapstick I do need chapstick You dip the chapstick in the Doritos They get stuck on there and then the chapstick, then the Doritos are like an abrasive, you know, that kind of open up the

pores on your lips. That's smart. It is not an exfoliant. It's not an exfoliant. Exfoliant. That's abrasive is literally a cooking term. Like when you use like salt to grind garlic into a paste. Exfoliant. Well, it makes sense that I rub Crisco on the skin for moisture. And on that note, thank you for listening to a hot dog is a sandwich. If you wanna hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you wanna be featured on Opinions or like casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at Mythical Chef or nhandizadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasserole.

And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. Josh, what's your address? I wanna send you a pentatonic. Uh, yeah, yeah. Don't actually say your address, bro.

Why? The people should know. What are you doing? you