A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best Office Snack?

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

In today's episode, Josh and Nicole are in the Mythical Entertainment office going down the list of the best workplace snacks from Skinny Pop to Kind Bars to Veggie Straws! Which snack reigns supreme? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Ooh, my three-day-old microwave tilapia's done. Why did you do that? We're in the office. Because I play by my own rules, Nicole. I'm a loose cannon. You want my gun and my badge, you can't have it. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm Nicole Inaydi. And we are good mythical morning and mythical kitchen food chefs.

But sometimes when we're not food chefing, Nicole, we're over here breaking down the world's biggest food debates. That's right, Josh. And today's subject matter, you're going to love this one so much. It's the best workplace snack. It is the best workplace snack. That's why we have a giant pile of workplace snacks here. These are our workplace snacks. These are our workplace snacks.

Yeah. And this is the, no, this is the second best company with the second best workplace snacks that I've ever worked for. Sorry, Mythical Entertainment. What's number one? First job I ever had, it was called Participant Media.

It was founded by one of the eBay founders. He was a billionaire named Jeff Skoll. Hey, Jeff, come on the pod. Jeff Skoll, come on the pod. Anyways, it was like a 200-person company. They had their own campus in Beverly Hills. Oh, nice. I was making like $35,000 a year.

Oh, not nice. You know what I mean? My first job out of college. No, but the workplace snacks there, they had all the cereals in all the cool containers like at the Sprouts or the Whole Foods where you pull it. Oh my gosh, that's awesome. They would have like salad bars every day. Bulk.

Bulk, yeah. And it was all organic because they were trying to be like a do-gooder media company. But then what happened is they just kind of fired everybody because he got bored. Having a company owned by a billionaire is a cool idea in theory because you get cool snacks. But then one day they're just like, I'm not interested anymore. My personal trainer said that like,

I shouldn't run this company anymore. So I'm going to fire all of you. And we're like, why did that happen? Oh no. Anyway, that was probably libelous. He didn't do that. But it was, you know, point is, we got good workplace snacks here.

Yeah. I feel very blessed for that. Yeah. I mean, I've worked at places where they don't give you anything. You just got to bring your own snacks and bring your own lunches. When I worked at Los Angeles Magazine, it was a very, well, that company did not make any money. And so, you know, we had a vending machine where you needed, like, exact change. That is so crazy to me.

To get, like, expired veggie straws. That is so crazy to me. To get expired veggie straws. That is so crazy and so cringe to me. Yeah, but I would then just bring a bucket of change. I'd have 65 cents to get me some veggie straws. But point is, the world of office workplace snacks, it is varied and it is beautiful. It's a political playground. Let me just say that. It is insane.

Well, we're very lucky we work at Mythical. And they actually ask us what kind of snacks we want to see. It's a political playground. Let me just say that. It is insane. You know, well, we're very lucky we work at Mythical and they actually ask us what kind of snacks we want to see. It's true. More of and less of, which I think is super sweet. I agree. But a lot of the times, you know, I lean, you know, we, I feel like we, you and I and the Mythical Kitchen crew are in a very blessed and special subsect of workplace. Do you not agree? I acknowledge my privilege portion of today. I mean, our workplace snacks is just prep that we didn't use the day before.

That's true, yeah. When you work in a kitchen, there's a lot of snacks laying around. Yeah, especially when you work in a media kitchen, I guess you can call it. All of our snacks are like dried, I don't know, like dried figs from like Patagonia or like stupid stuff like that. Or like limited edition Dorito flavors that only existed in New Zealand for like three months. Like we get like limited edition Mountain Dews and Peep Soda and all these cool things. And that's really, really awesome. But when it comes to like sustenance and like those things don't really help, I guess, with productivity.

help, I guess, with productivity. So I think it's nice that we also have, you know, the communal snack area where there are there are better, quote unquote, options for us. I agree with that. And so when we're breaking down the best office snacks, we're also talking about for for all the rest of y'all that don't work in a very strange company like we do. So like we're talking about snacks that you would bring from home. Sure. Things you can stock at your office desk.

We're talking about snack strategy. Nicole, what's your snack strategy? What are your go-tos? We got a smattering here. Well, I don't eat breakfast at home because I'm just, I'm crunched for time. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, why would you? Typically what I do is I make myself a coffee.

I pour it in a protein shaker and then I add a scoop of protein. So I have a protein coffee and that's my- You do protein coffee every day? I've started- I've never been more proud of you. I've started like two months ago. I don't do it every day, but I do do it because I just think it's because I work out in the mornings. And if I do it on an empty stomach and just caffeine, I will pass out and vomit. Yeah, that's good. I've done both. I know fasted cardio is a myth, folks. Don't do it. You want to give your body bricks to build from. This is not that podcast.

I thought you, oh God, Nicole, I thought you wanted to do a nutrition and exercise podcast. No, no, no. But when we do. But let me tell you. So I do that.

So I do my protein coffee maybe like three, four times a week just because it's easy for me. I work out. I come to work. I either make one egg or I eat it with toast

or I eat a banana. These bananas are the best workplace snack in my opinion. That's your number one draft pick right now. You're going bananas. I love bananas. I'm never going to pick bananas for a very specific reason. Okay, okay, okay. I pick the bananas.

Again, we're lucky we have someone stocking them once a week, so they're nice and fresh and yellow, hardly ever brown. That's why I don't like them. That's why I do not like bananas as a workplace snack. Okay, I will continue. Apples are the better't like them. That's why I do not like bananas as a workplace snack. Okay, I will continue. Apples are the better workplace fruit snack. Oh, no. Apples?

Perennially ripe, baby. Crazy long shelf life. If I want to eat a banana, I refuse to eat a banana at this level of ripeness. So what I do is I have to stash bananas underneath my desk. I'm like a chipmunk. I take my little acorns and I bury them where nobody else can find them because

This isn't a good banana. The bananas, no, no, no. This is much too unripe the green that's gonna give you the diarrhea do green bananas give you diarrhea uh I don't know I could have eaten a bunch of chipotle and then a green banana and then the variables are mixed up you're allergic to bananas aren't you oh yeah I forgot about that I didn't I'm so unaware of my own body and it always hurts and I'm always uncomfortable that I realize that when I eat bananas, my roof of my mouth burns like crazy. No wonder it's not your first pick. And I burp a lot.

Yeah, you are allergic. But no, I love eating bananas. I love them. You like the flavor of bananas. It's my favorite. Bananas are like my favorite thing to eat. Do you put them in your shake? Bananas are my hobby.

Bananas are my hobby. And ping pong. This is another Borat reference, huh? Great. And then after my morning single. Sorry, if anybody ever makes a Borat reference, just go, that's another Borat. Great. My wife.

Okay. It's a banana or one egg. I opt for either hard-boiled or cooked in a skillet. But you're hard-boiling your own eggs here, right? I can't. I can't. I have the ability to do that. But sometimes we have hard-boiled eggs that are already peeled for us.

I'm like, sick. And then I do my lunch, whatever I do for lunch. And then I typically reach for something sweet. Typically, as of now, we have Milanos in the office. Milanos are huge. Honey, those Milanos in the office. Milanos are huge. Those Milanos make me feel so good. Yeah.

I make myself a little coffee. Typically, it's a flat white with oat milk. You are the bougiest person. We are going to get wrecked for this. I'm sorry. Best office snacks, a flat white with micronized oat milk. Okay, listen. I need to be honest with myself.

I need to be honest with the listeners. It's not fair to me to be like, yeah, I don't eat Doritos. I don't eat Doritos. If I do, it's a very rare occasion when I'm reaching for the bag of chips. I don't do that. Yeah. I want people to know that this is what I do because they're listening to me. Yeah. Well, what is the psychology behind what you're doing?

Tell me about it because that's what I want to get into. This is about increasing worker productivity. Well, around 12 o'clock, I find myself a little peckish. I don't want to eat anything salty, so I reach for something sweet. And then I also have a coffee for energy purposes. So that's the psychology behind it. But this is about – no, no, no, because I asked for a specific reason. This is about physical hunger for you asked for a specific reason this is

about physical hunger for you yes you are actually peckish you need yeah i am yeah because for me i like almost don't snack ever and i don't snack as a means of necessity what i snack for is a means of mood elevation that is simply it's a drug to me and oral fixation and oral fixation you have a hardcore oral fixation and you need to satisfy it by, can I tell people Josh vapes? What? Can I say the V word? Vaping is legal some places. I know it is.

But you're either vaping or you're asking for a snack. Yeah, yeah, correct. Especially on set. I need things in my mouth all the time. And also I just need my hands to be occupied. I got like that mad ADHD, just like fidgetiness. Idle hands. Oh.

Number one, baby. Yeah. One, pistachios are expensive as hell, right? And all that money is going straight to Iran. This is one of the, that sounded doobie. I just meant that like it's. It is a secret pistachio program only the infidels know. I just wanted to point out that pistachios are legit like Iran's like

third biggest export or something. Yeah, aside from pubis and pistachio. Another Borat reference. No, actually it's like oil, rugs, and pistachios I think are actually the big three in Iran. Nice.

Anywho, pistachios are great. I love foods that slow you down intentionally. Oh, you're like a dog with a lick mat. Yes. I understand now, okay? If you just put a weird little

elevated maze on the ground and spread peanut butter around it, I would just scurry up to it and just go... I'd start drooling over it. I'd start biting at it because I'd get confused. Why is it purple? Although dogs are colorblind. Never mind. My cat has a lick mat and sometimes I see it and I'm just like

I would love to put like a chocolate cremeux in there. And just like. Oh, for yourself, not for the cat. No, not for the cat. No, no, no. I want to spread like a beautiful like creme caramel or something in a lick mat. That way it'll last longer for me and I'm not just devouring it. I need something.

I need an external barrier to slow down my eating. Otherwise, like Doritos. I mean, that's gone in three seconds. It's funny because I don't want to see how many I can shove in my mouth. We also have

unshelled pistachios, but you never reach for those. No. You never reach for those. Only shells. You told me about something about instant gratification,

by the way. Yeah, pleasure delaying. When I was eating one of the de-shelled ones, you said something about, you said something about, what was it? You're like,

Nicole, you're all about instant gratification. Stop. Or something like that. I didn't say stop. You didn't say stop. that stop no i wasn't policing i was just psychoanalyzing so i can manipulate you later i don't this is how it goes you're like hmm instant gratification huh and i'm like what are you talking about and you're like you gotta do shell them you know it's better yeah and i'm like no it's not huh it's like getting uh i don't know i was gonna say unshelled oysters just loose but i guess i don't want to i don't want to shell my own i don't want to

shuck my own oysters either yeah i kind of hate peeling my own shrimp crawfish crawfish are the one that i enjoy i enjoy peeling weird i like peeling shrimp yeah peel and eat shrimp i think it's because shrimp are too delicious that i'm like, I'm mad. But crawfish are like kind of just okay. I really love eating crawfish and I love sitting down to a giant crawfish boil. But there's not this like, get it over and I need that in my mouth. It's like, oh, I'm here. I'm vibing. I'm dipping.

I'm sucking. That would be a good workplace snack. Just peel any shrimp. I was just thinking that, yeah. A bucket of peel any shrimp. That'd be huge. That'd be huge for us. So my snack motivation is pure mood elevation,

which is why one, pistachios are for me to keep my fingers busy. Got it. While I'm fidgeting. And then the other thing, what was the one snack that I was clamoring for for years? For years, a years-long mission to get this one type of snack. Four words, one sentence, easily said,

single bite snack cake. That's what we need. If I go into my text messages, if I go into my emails, if I go into my Slack threads, the phrase single bite snack cake is all over there. And it's from you.

Because I constantly crave a single bite of a lovely snacking cake. Now you might ask, what is a snack cake? I'm so glad you asked. So you could look at like the hostess little Debbie Cannon. We're talking about Star Crunch. We're talking about Nutty Buddies. We're talking about Cosmic Brownies. I mean, Zebra Cakes, what have you.

A good Twinkie I'm always a fan of. But if you go into the culinary realm, we're talking Pettyfors. That's right. We love Pettyfors. Before the little. The Mythical Kitchen loves Pettyfors. We love Pettyfors in the Mythical Kitchen. You know, we love eating bacon-covered slop nachos and whatever,

but, you know, at the end of the day. A nice Pettyfor. A nice little Pettyfor. It's a little ornate cake layered, covered in chocolate, garnished with little things. And that to me

is the best single bite mood elevator in the world. Can I tell you something? I did so much research to find you a single bite snack cake.

And still you came up empty. No, I didn't. Oh my God. You bought me a tray of cookies, which was a nice gesture, Nicole. It was a nice gesture. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then I didn't. You bought me a tray of cookies, which was a nice gesture, Nicole. Shut up immediately. It was a nice gesture. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then I dropped them behind the fridge. I bought you those tin of cookies because I was like,

okay, we'll start with this, and if you like this, we'll just have it on automatic order because I care if you want to be happy. That was actually a very nice gesture of you. You didn't need to do that. You threw it in the back of the fridge. I didn't throw it. Now we have ants. Whatever. And then, after that. We had ants long before that. After that, I started looking more into like, okay, he doesn't like these. They're behind the fridge. I didn't throw it. Now we have ants. Whatever. And then after that. We had ants long before that. After that, after that, I started looking more into like, okay, he doesn't like these. They're behind the fridge.

He had an episode. Whatever. I go and I look. Wait, is the party line that I like threw these in a fit of rage behind the fridge? They fell behind the fridge. We were like trying to get something off the fridge and it fell. Whatever makes you happy. And then after that, I'm like, okay, he said cake.

So let me go look into cakes. And I went and I bought you those rainbow cookie chocolate covered snack cakes that were that were saturated they were saturated

in almond extract so good I opened it I gave you one and I said eat this and you were like oh this is great thank you Nicole

remember that Maggie can we pull up an image of that look up Costco Italian rainbow cookie cakes you guys this is the ultimate. This is my number one.

We haven't had these in months. Where did they go? I stopped ordering them because you told me to stop ordering them. Oh, yes. God. Give me. What are they called? The original cake bites, Italian rainbow.

They are so almondy. It's like biting into the most delicious flavored cake ever. And it has this dark chocolate on it. And you're just like, oh my God. The shell's a little hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You asked me to stop ordering these for you because you said you were eating too many of them. Too much.

It was too much. It got too much. And then you would put them in the freezer and you'd eat them like ice cream. Have you ever read The Terminal Man by Michael Crichton? Of course not. Okay, so it was the second novel ever, right? First Crichton novel, The Andromeda Strain, of course. And then he actually produced the original movie, Westworld.

A creator of VR, Michael Crichton, incredible career. Who's Michael Keaton? Michael Keaton, I believe, played... Related? No, Michael Keaton played Batman at some point. And I believe it was in Birdman. And also played Ray Kroc in The Founder. Back to Michael Crichton.

So Michael Crichton. Okay, The Terminal Man. This is why I can't eat the Italian rainbow cookie cake anymore. Okay, go for it, go for it. The Terminal Man was about a guy who had like epileptic seizures and they create a new device. This is written in like 60s and 70s. Very kind of like, you know. Philip K. Dick-esque?

A little bit, but more dad fiction than Philip K. Dick. I was really trying. No, you're correct. He's kind of in that, you in that new technology sci-fi era. But anyways, this guy gets an implant in his brain that basically triggers the pleasure sensors of the brain. So he effectively has a big O, not Oscar Robertson, the basketball player,

but an orgasm. So he basically triggers the big O every time he has a seizure and his body snaps out of it. But then the body naturally wanting to like... So every time his body's about to have an epileptic seizure... He has an orgasm? This device...

Yeah, but he doesn't just like, oh. You know, he just, it triggers the sensors in his brain, a serotonin rush, all that. You know what I mean? But the body. So he tries to have more seizures? Not he tries, but his body naturally does because it errs towards the good feeling.

So that's the thing. And then eventually it happens. It's just happening every single second. And eventually his brain shuts down. He kills a guy. Spoiler alert for a book that was written 60 years ago. But I think about that a lot in terms of food, where it's like too much of a good thing. And you become numb to it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so the Italian rainbow cookies are literally too good. They're too good. For me to have in the office. I will not order them again until what? OK. I'll order them in May. Yeah, I need something. I need something. We have them right now. I don't think we brought any but we have madeline the bougiest pieces of crap you

have madeline's um from costco yeah those are a great single bite snack cake uh another one less bougie that i have been really employing rice crispypie Treat. Deceptively, not super calorie dense, but very pleasure dense. I find Rice Krispie is very pleasurable. No, but it's like it's satisfying. Yeah, it's good. It's nostalgic. What about, you know, the refrigerated snacks? We don't get to talk about.

No, get your veggie trays out of here. Bro, there's so much rotten hummus in our fridge right now. Nobody gets the fridge snacks. Well, let me tell you, I would love carrot sticks with a little ranch. I love those very much. Or even a yogurt. When there's yogurt in the fridge, I eat the mini yogurts.

Yogurt for me isn't a snack though. Yogurt is medicine. Yogurt is like my medicine. That's a personal problem. I wake up. Okay, here's the things that I eat. This is the best podcast ever For me there's There's foods That is foods

Like a meal Okay Like an omelette I'll eat a nice omelette An omelette's a meal An omelette's a meal And then there's things That I consume

That are medicines Which is creatine Pre-workout And then You're so crazy Yogurt with blueberries And protein powder Did you notice

Nicole tell them About what I had For breakfast this morning Josh had the most Violently purple Yogurt blueberry mixture I've ever seen. I actually complimented the color of it because I've never seen a color like that in nature. So I was like, whoa, pretty.

And then he's like, oh, there's like strawberries and cream protein powder in there. That's making it really hot. 55 grams of protein in there. Some say the body can only digest 40 at a time. I figure why not tack on an extra 15 just in case. What happens to the rest of the protein? Robert Irvine actually said it when we were talking about diet. And he just goes, you'll just shit it out.

And it was pretty funny. And then he went like, pardon my language, which is really funny though. It was so funny. But anywho, so for me, yogurt, I don't even count as a snack. Most people would. And it is great. Probiotics, healthy for you. I like yogurt as a snack.

And there's a lot of incredible yogurts on the market right now, dude. A lot of good yogurts, man. Let's talk about the bar. Yeah, okay, so. The bar. Wait, talk about your favorite yogurts real quick. Oh. Because there's a lot of, we're in an unprecedented time for yogurt in history.

Especially office yogurt. There's this incredible yogurt, I think it's called Mykonos yogurt, and it has passion fruit at the bottom of it. I'm too fancy for my own good. There are chefs who make like quesadillas all day. I know. Why are snacks so bougie? Because we work in a production office. Yeah.

Because there are people here that keep the lights on and they give us good snacks. It's not us. It's not us who are bougie. We're merely products. Yeah. No. The coastal elites around us. But let me tell you about it.

The bar. The bar is the no. The coastal elites around us. But let me tell you about it. The bar. The bar is the best workplace snack. I said banana, but honestly, the bar, it can take so many shapes. Any sort of bar. It can take so many iterations. You can get these granola bars that will literally affect your mood so much higher. These are incredible. These Nature Valley Crunchy Oats and Honey.

Wow. Yeah, but that's like an actual hazard working around a laptop. So what? What do you mean so what that's damaging office property if i was if i in the bathroom office one i would be a tyrant i'd run that like uh the branch davidians um but i wouldn't sorry was that david koresh's group wow i really want to watch waco waco is great taylor taylor kitch is that his name I don't know who you're talking about is that a person that people I'm watching the leftovers Tim Riggins from uh

he's great he's hot too um Nature Valley Crunchy totally ignored me you bite into it because I was talking about this I if I ran an office I would refuse to stalk Nature Valley Crunchy no way every time you take a bite just micro particles of that go into your laptop.

You know what you need to do? And then you drink it? You break it up like this. And then you put it in your yogurt. Yeah, but then you're talking about a bar. Sorry, we almost held hands again. I'm encroaching on your taste. You're denaturing the bar at that point.

Ergo, you're just saying you want granola. Denaturing the bar. Which is great. You take a bar and you bash it up. It's not a bar anymore. No, it's just loose granola. Nicole, a granola bar, this is a retronym. You can take-

It's like electrifying an acoustic guitar. You talk about retronyms all the time. But let me, so what? That's what I'm saying. You can do whatever you want with it. You have the freedom to choose. This podcast is about free will, Josh. I don't believe free will exists like at all.

What the hell are you talking about? You think it's predestined by's predestined by god that i want to eat pistachios today no gob just a dude named god job now um what i would rather take granola and just compress it myself into a bar loose granola is better than granola bars no hard you just like mix it with some sort of syrup and then bake it it's i've made for my book i made like 14 granola is better than granola bars. You know how hard it is to make granola bars? You know how hard it is? It's not hard. You just like mix it with some sort of syrup and then bake it. It's hard. I've made, for my book, I made like 14 granola bars because I couldn't do it. You just mix it with like egg white and syrup and bake it. You know what?

You know what? It's so simple when you say it like that. Nicole, I used to make my own protein bars in college. Did you sell them? No, I'd like give them away. I like published a little recipe on my little fun food blog and then that like made it into my little book. Protein bars are good. This one. Give them away. I like published a little recipe on my little fun food blog. And then that like made it into my little book.

Protein bars are good. This one. Actually, my favorite protein bars are indeed Robert Irvine's Fit Crunch. They're really good. He actually sent us a ton. Shout out Robert Irvine, friend of the show. And then I stupidly was like, hey, other people in the office, you can come take these. And normally people don't take the food that we offer them. But they were down with the protein bars.

They were down with the protein bars. They were out of here in like 20 minutes and i like didn't even save any for myself um so i am a benevolent god that's okay yeah yeah yeah but uh protein bars for me obviously like if you're not again that's a medicine food there's meal food medicine food i think i think food as medicine is fine no, but like food, some foods are medicine. Sure. Right? We're sounding insane right now, but like hear me out. No, it makes sense.

A cup of tea is medicine. I have two medicine meals a day, two real meals a day, and then two mood elevators a day. That's how I break it down. That's cool. First meal, all is a medicine meal. Okay. Second meal. You're breaking your fast.

You're breaking your fast. Second meal, real meal. I'm making a burrito in the kitchen. Third meal, another medicine meal. Back're breaking your fast. You're breaking your fast. Second meal, real meal. I'm making a burrito in the kitchen. Third meal, another medicine meal. Back to a protein shake. Fourth meal, probably going to be another burrito. Taco Bell. Probably going to be Taco Bell.

You just fell into that one. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I'm moving. No, I shouldn't tell people where I'm moving. I'm moving very close to a Taco Bell, and it's going to be dangerous. Oh, no. And we're talking about how the only thing that's going to save us is it's like literally

walking distance from our apartment. Oh, no. And there's so many Taco Bells, so nobody can that's going to save us is it's like literally walking distance from our apartment. There's so many Taco Bells and nobody can figure out where it is. Okay. But it's walking distance from our apartment. Uh huh. And we're saying that the only thing that's going to save us is we get back late night and the dining room is closed. So you're going to have to drive through it.

And Julie and I are obviously very anti-drunk driving. Hot take. Don't drive drunk. That's a good take. But we're like, we're going to try and figure out a way to game the system. We're going gonna call an uber to pick us up and go 50 feet to a taco bell that's smart drive through buy the uber driver dinner and then drive us back that's actually really cool yeah that's a good idea or you can

just like door dash it huh i guess but that's weird no it's not wait can if a door dasher can pick up taco bell late at night why can't Okay, back on the subject of workplace snacks. I'm going to have to become a DoorDash driver so I can pick up my own Taco Bell. Josh, you should become a DoorDash driver and then surprise people. And then look in the back and be like, it's me, Mythical Chef Josh. And then they're like, who the frick are you, man? Like Shaq? But you're like, you take off your mustache.

Do you want an autograph? You're like, surprise, it's me, Mythical Chef Josh. And you look back and they're like, who the hell is this guy? Oh, God. Let's do it. Let's do it. When I was at the Super Bowl party at the Elks Lodge, my buddy, I was there with his older cousin.

He has teenage kids. And then this guy just beckons me over and he goes, hey, I just found out you're famous. I mean, we're all drunk. It's the Super Bowl. And I'm like, not really, though. He goes, you're on YouTube you're famous i mean we're all drunk it's a super bowl and i'm like not really though because you're on youtube oh yeah you're on tiktok yeah he goes hey kids come over you know who this guy is and i'm just like and they're like no and one goes have you met mr beast i go i think i've like met his like manager once a kid goes okay and so we're super famous and I love that I have one more one more point I would like to make about workplace snacks how do you feel

about chained chip adjacent chips oh I'm a huge fan of chip adjacency. Chip adjacency. Because you're chip adjacency. Are you talking about like plantain chips? No. Are you talking about pop chips? What did you say? Plantain. Plantain. Who pronounced it plantain?

People in the Caribbean or something. I don't know. I heard someone say plantain once and I just love saying plantain. Yeah. Plantain chips. So I believe plantain is like American and then like plantain is like Caribbean. No, no, it's like saying it. Hopefully it's not cultural appropriation.

I don't know. Comment below. There's multiple ways to pronounce that word. Yeah, plantains. Yeah, it's like caramel and caramel. Yeah. Yeah. Caramel.

How do you feel? Huge, huge. And I think a great way that somebody who runs an office can show people that they care is like you get a good mix of like, you know, the Doritos, the Fritos, the normal stuff. And then you get like one or two little fun ones.

Maybe it's Tara chips. Maybe it's Tara. They got like the beet and parsnip chips. Oh, those are so good. There was another brand. Oh, it was called like something stupid. Like food should taste good was the whole name of the brand.

But they like sweet potato tortilla chips. You get some plantain chips. Get a little Popcorners. I will say Popcorners Kettle Corn had these on a plane for the first time, immediately went to the store and bought large family-sized bags of it. I don't like those, but I do like plantain chips. Yeah, the popcorn is, I mean, they're trying to be a healthy chip. What do we got? I don't care.

If you're eating chips, like, don't be healthy. I always see you snacking on Gardeos, specifically the brown bread bites and then you throw the rest in the garbage. Yeah, yeah, that's correct. So if we would just buy exclusively the rye chips. Just the bread rounds. Just bread rounds. Well, okay, I'm going to throw out another curveball here. So snack mixes are great

because I don't like get them at home, so I'm only eating them in the office. So it's a fun little treat. Better than snack mix though, sack of croutons. Sack of croutons is the single best snack you can ever eat. You get one of those

garlic olive oil herb ones. Woo, girl. I had that instead of chips in my house. That was my snack. Same, same, same. Croutons were my snack. Never had croutons.

Never remember eating a crouton on a salad growing up. That was just tossing it back, man. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And that is the best. We should have croutons in the office. We should stock croutons.

Where's the snacking croutons? Is that a business that we can start? Yeah. All we got to do is just take croutons that exist and put them in a smaller bag. Yeah, I agree with that. Or like get the, you ever go to Wendy's and get the Caesar salad? I never go to Wendy's. No.

I think it would work. You get a salad from the drive-thru? I don't know if they still have a dollar salad. You get salads? They used to have a dollar. Okay, going and getting a salad from a fast food restaurant is crazy when i was a kid let's listen for more depressing jobs i was so deprived of like homemade food that i was literally sick of eating hamburgers and stuff so we'd only have like three dollars

for dinner for dinner and i'd go to wendy's and i'd get a baked potato with chili and a uh salad for three dollars because i was like i want home-cooked food i don't know how to make it I'd go to Wendy's and I'd get a baked potato with chili and a salad for $3. Because I was like, I want home-cooked food. I don't know how to make it myself. Parents don't cook. This is $3, baby. Hot and ready. And it was great.

But the point is. Is this podcast just to make the cool salad? Rename the podcast. The point is, it's a happy podcast. I'm talking about snacking croutons. Because you get a $1 salad and they give you a tiny little bag of like six croutons. And you pop them. They're so good.

They're so good. And they're great. And then you get a baked potato. So they give you a tiny little bag of like six croutons and you pop them. They're so good. They're so good. And they're great. And then you get a baked potato. So, Josh, what did we learn today? I think we learned today that snacks are really a way for offices to manipulate you into being more productive. And I like that. What I think they should do is just crush up, what are they, like Ritalin?

Is that what they give the kids? Yeah. Yeah. Crush up Ritalin, sprinkle it they get the kids oh yeah yeah crush up ritalin sprinkle it over your pop chips and that'll increase worker productivity by at least 40 45 i didn't even talk about prunes i didn't talk about fruit snacks welch's fruit snacks prunes they're kind of the same thing you guys drink gatorade in the office digestive health is really important yeah in the office yeah and so I think prunes are good. Because if people spend too much time on the toilet,

if they're having trouble getting it out. Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time. Brought to you by prunes. All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. Wait, wait, wait. Now it's time to find out what you're going to do. I was readjusting my chair.

Oh, gosh. Say that again. All right now, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. Time for the segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. Casseroles, baby. Where's that guy from?

What? Where's that one from? Oh, he's like outside of New Orleans. Like, not from New Orleans proper, but he's like out of, like, it's like east of Baton Rouge. You know, he's like, hey now, baby, what do you got? Tony Sashry, right down that Delgada. Next. First opinion, please. Um, hey now, baby, what do you got? Donnie Sashry brought down that alligator. Next, first opinion,

please. If I eat dried apricots during this whole segment, is that cool? Yes, don't do that. That's rude.

Just one. Give me one then. Hi, Sasha, Nicole, this is Kalina from Arkansas and I just wanted

to let you guys know that whenever I'm at Sonic and I get a mozzarella stick that is significantly shorter than the other mozzarella sticks, I consider it lucky and I make a wish

on that mozzarella stick. This is the type of superstition I can get down with. I thought she was going to be like, why is that? What's the scientific reason? But no. Galena just taking it in stride. That was beautiful. I'm glad that you take, you know, you know, because most people, they'd be like, why is that? What's the scientific reason? But no, Kalina just taking it in stride. That was beautiful. I'm glad that you take, you know, because most people, they'd be like, why is this mozzarella stick shorter?

This isn't fair. I'm going to go, you know, talk to the Sonic manager. But no, you take your shortcomings and you make them positive. And that is beautiful. I love that. You're turning lemons into lemon juice. More people can learn something from you. That is my favorite thing I've ever heard anyone say.

That's the best opinion anyone's ever said. That is wonderful, and I hope you get as many short mozzarella sticks as your heart desires. Kalina, you're a beautiful human being. We need more people like you. Hey, this is Danny from central Pennsylvania. Yes, sir. I just wanted to say I love you guys, first and foremost. Love you, too, man. and I just wanted to say I love you guys first and foremost second of all

Josh every time you bring up a Pennsylvania Dutch food or something about your father in the Allentown area I immediately get triggered but none more than when you bring up pierogies pierogies are overhyped whoa

if you want something go get a goza go get dumplings are overhyped. Whoa, whoa. If you want something, go get a goza. Go get dumplings. Pierogies are trash. It's food for babies that they put inside of a dough wrapper. Love you guys. A self-hating central Pennsylvanian.

Well, I will say, I like pierogies, I like gyoza more because I think the flavor, sometimes you need bland food in life. Sometimes in life, you know. And there's no more bland food than the Pennsylvania Dutch. Their whole movement was based off of like not raising the humors and temperance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the Quakers. Yeah. Pennsylvania was founded as a Quaker state. Well, there you go. Well, I don't know. In life, you need to have the spicy. You need to have the salty.

You need to have the sweet, you know. But then you have to have, you know, the bland, the milk toast. Yeah. Boring because it makes you appreciate. A blanc mange. It makes you appreciate, you know, those punchy, bright flavors even more so. Like when I went to Connie Seafood, I told you about this. Connie Seafood, favorite restaurant in all of LA.

It was delicious. I had a wonderful spicy ceviche. I had the smoked marlin tacos with this beautiful stretchy cheese and the flavors were so gorgeous and punchy and in your face spicy as hell. And then I ordered a sea bass that was just pan seared with some vegetables and a very nice rice on the side. And it was delicious. Delightful. The boring complimented the exciting. Yeah.

And it was a whole well-rounded situation. Sometimes you got to eat bland pierogies, man. The sweet make the spicy spicier. The spicy make the sweet taste sweeter. Do you remember what I said the last time we made pierogies? I never remember what you say. Oh my God. I remember everything I said.

I'll tell you about it. Sorry, honey. We made pierogies for Chris Collins' last meal. Yeah, I wasn't here that day, unfortunately. Lily made them from scratch. Dough from scratch. Oh, nice. Brown butter, bacon bits.

It was just so good. Some of the best pierogi I've ever had. And I ate it and I was like, pierogi are the worst dumpling. Oh. It's just so good. Some of the best pierogi I've ever had. And I ate it and I was like, pierogi are the worst dumpling. Oh. It's just, it's the worst dumpling. It is,

like you said, it's gyoza but filled with just mashed potatoes instead of like an incredibly spicy and fragrant, you know, meat farce. No,

it's just, you're correct that they are objectively the worst dumpling. They are still a delight because the worst dumpling is still a great food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for me, it's a novelty of going to a place like yaco's hot dogs i last

time i went to yaco's at 10 a.m we're like on a trip out to the yingling brewery the most pennsylvania sentence ever uttered and we went to yaco's at 10 a.m got to yaco's style dogs with this like weird vinegary chili sauce on it and deep fried mrs t's pierogies that are still finished with french fry salt. Oh, fried? I've never had a fried pierogi. And they are the hottest. It's filled with just instant liquidy mashed potatoes. Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow. It is the hottest food in the world.

And a birch beer and a tasty cake. So for me, it's a regional thing that I just absolutely love. But you're correct. They're the worst dumpling. Just still great. Hey, Josh and Nicole. Hi. I just want to say,

love the show. I'm looking for you to settle an argument that I have with my boyfriend. Break up my kid. What food would you serve an alien? He argues, ever the gracious host,

you start with something very simple like oatmeal, steamed vegetables, to rule out any allergies or any reactions. That's a good point. I say, you give them the very best humanity has to offer, off the bat, which is pizza. I'll take my answer off the air.

Nicole, what do you, okay, so, I have a lot of thoughts about the biology of this all. I love this so much, I almost don't want to answer because it would be a great podcast But We gotta give a short answer at least I love this creative so much I think you and your boyfriend are so fun

Number one We don't know enough about the digestive system of aliens To even say that oatmeal would be less likely to trigger anything I would give them water You're gonna start slow You give them water because they came to a planet that's how much? 75% water? How much water is Earth?

We're like, this is what Earth is known for. Yeah. Water. How much is Earth water? This is called Evian. How much is Earth water? Enjoy, Glorp Glop. 70?

Okay, I was close. The Earth is 71% water. There is no way they came to this planet knowing that it was 71% water and won't drink water It's like you go to Mexico to eat tacos. Why would you eat spaghetti you come to earth to drink water? Why eat pizza unless they came here accidentally and they thought it was like another planet like what happened with Christopher Columbus? And then I'd kill them. I would kill them. I'd like to stress that I'd also try to kill the aliens I would murder the aliens! Yeah, you go to,

the history of mankind is that of conquest. They're not here to make friends, but if they were. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win. If they did come here for the right reasons, like they're on The Bachelor, I am all about giving them the best

that humanity has to offer, which is to say, a birria bean and cheese burrito from Burritos La Palma, that is my official nomination. But it would be the last bite and cheese burrito from from burritos la palma that is my official nomination but i would it would be the last bite of every burrito you'd stand it up because you got to let the juices drain to the bottom so it eats like a soup dumpling and i agree i think pizza is a great idea i was thinking a coney dog as well so american of you you know what i want to find out though

what is the most human food what is like the most average food in the world? If you were to take- But like a dish, something that actually has flavor. If you were to take- Rice with egg. Here's the thought experiment. If you were to take every single dish in the world

and have every single person rank that dish on a one to 100 score, right? I think there was a website that did that. Really? Yeah. What do you think would fall at the highest level? Bowl of white rice. Bowl of white rice? No no but it'd be something more flavorful humans like flavor pizza right it might be pizza it could be pizza pizza is universal thing pizza hamburgers have

traveled the entire globe yeah yeah but that said hamburgers right beef automatically most of india is wiped out yeah india is what 1 billion 1.7 1.7 it's like 1.7 billion at this point crap a lot of indian people that's what i'm saying you take every single culture cheese right a lot of people china you know don't eat no cheese don't eat no cheese i mean you know it's starting to westernize people are going to eat cheese though but i'm saying there's a lot of people that don't you know mess with that kind of stuff so yeah it might be a rice-based dish i'm feeling rice might be rice might not just a bowl of white rice. It'd be like a... Fried rice? Bibimbap. I'm not a big bibimbap fan.

I feel like everyone loves bibimbap. But it's not going to be your favorite food. It's going to be a food that's what we should serve the alien. I am going to feed the alien a glass of water and go from there. Lean pocket. Turkey and cheddar lean pocket.

Companies are going to bid on what to feed them. Like Totino's pizza rolls. Oh my gosh. Imagine the first alien eating is sponsored by like Quaker Oatmeal. Nathan's Hot Dogs. Put them in the comp with Joey Chestnut. They would probably cream Joey Chestnut. Just like Hoover number.

Eat Joey Chestnut along with it. Oh yeah. No. I hope Joey Chestnut is not eaten by the nathan's hot dog alien when you when you see an alien what do you see when you close your eyes and you imagine alien who do you see octopus i see roger big old american dad i see the heptapods from uh the story of your life yeah that's right the book that arrivals based on oh i was gonna say arrival the story of your life okay it's actually a book of short stories called the story of your life. Yeah, that's right. The book that Arrival's based on is called The Story of Your Life.

Okay, next. It's actually a book of short stories called The Story of Your Life and other stories because I am cultured. Next opinion, please. The book was so much better.

Hello, Josh and Nicole. This is Nick from Illinois. Hi. I have a food combo and some people are not going to like this, but I say don't knock it

until you try it. Okay, check this out. So you got a chicken patty, okay? Chicken patty? And then you add any kind of jelly on it, mustard, pickles, any kind of pickles, and then boom, you got a tasty chicken sandwich. I've been doing this since like junior high or so. I love it.

So like 12 years. Wow. This is just him coming to grips with his own mortality. Exactly. Really good. All right. Thanks for the voicemail. You're welcome.

Bye-bye. I'll see you then. Okay. So it's a chicken patty with jelly mustard pickles in a sin. Scrapple. Scrapple. This is a scrapple combo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And if you look at a chicken patty, right, we're talking pressed form ground. It's pretty much scrapple. Like that's scrapple, baby. It sure is. That's. Scrapple. Scrapple. This is the scrapple combo. Yeah, yeah. And if you look at a chicken patty, right, we're talking pressed, formed, ground. Like, that's scrapple, baby. It sure is. That's just chicken scrapple. No, it sure is. I had a chicken sandwich once at a fair. No way. It was a, yeah.

You went to a fair? Bro, Orange County Fair. Can we go to the O.C. Fair, please? You should go to the O.C. Fair. I want to go to the O.C. Fair with everybody. You got to go visit Chicken Charlie, man. He's deep frying a new thing every year. You know, he did, like, deep fried Kool-Aid one year.

But anyway, point is, I had a Krispy Kreme jelly donut cut in half, spicy chicken patty in the middle. It's a good combo. It's just a good combo. Yeah, sounds good.

It's a good combo. I don't see it. Nick, I think you're correct. I don't think there's any hate to be shoveled. I think you're great. Yeah, tomato paste and spices in there. That's a barbecue sauce

if you whisk it together if you think about it. There you go. You know? Hi, Nicole and Josh. Hi. My name is Loriurie i'm from st george utah nice um and i just kind of had a question for you guys so i recently went through a pre-test breakup and i used to love cooking but cooking was something i did with my partner a lot and so ever since we've broken up it's just been like really hard for me to get back into cooking

and like just get back into my old eating habits and i miss like my relationship with food and my love for it and so i was just wondering like did you guys ever went through a rut with food and like how you fell back in love with it so i'd really appreciate the advice uh love the podcast love the vibes keep it up you guys this question. This is a great question. And I have an upsetting answer. Okay. Should I do mine first? Do yours first.

I'm constantly in a rut with food. There is no... My job is food. I come home. I have to eat food. I have to cook food. I have to... There's just... Food is like a constant in my life.

So to give you a short answer is a little bit tough. But I will say I'm learning how to love food in a different way instead of thinking of it as content only or as like, I don't know, something that I do to entertain myself. I'm just trying to re-love food as well. So you're not alone at all in that scope. I will say when it comes to cooking again, make a plate of, I don't know,

broccoli. Make a plate of broccoli. Cook it however you want. Sit down and take a bite of it. Chew on it for 10 seconds. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Let it out. And then that's it. That's what I would do. I would just cook a plate of food, whatever it is, just one thing that will require very little time, very little energy, sit down and take a bite of it, and then go from there. That's my advice. This is going to be one of those things where you're going to have to choose either between me and Nicole's advice because they're going to be opposite. I went through a breakup too.

This is a long time ago now at this point, but it was a very long relationship. Really hard breakup, actually. It really affected me a lot mentally and emotionally, and I had that same rut with food. This is when I didn't stock salt and pepper in my kitchen, just had Tony Sashry's. That's right. Shout out Tony C's.

But the thing that really got me back into cooking is I used to cook for her almost every night, and we had a very sort of, just a needling toxic relationship where we would just say passive-aggressive comments to each other every single moment of every day and did it when I would be cooking. She'd be like, are you making that again? Oh no.

That's all you make. Stuff like that. And so the thing that got me back into cooking was cooking the things that she hated that I cooked. So for me, listen, we can't all have positive, healthy relationships with people and food. I'm going to be the devil on the shoulder saying- I mean, I don't have it either, but yeah. I'm going to be the devil on the shoulder saying- I mean, I don't have it either, but yeah. I'm going to be the devil on the shoulder and say, lean into spite, lean into what feels

good, right? For me, so literally I got back into cooking, maybe like, oh, she hated because all I would make is just like stewed Mexican meats. That's all I'm going to cook now, but we're making mole, we're making carne en su jugo, we're making birria, we're making pozole. Like I'm leaning into the things that i loved that she could never take away from me and so i like refound my own love nice that's where this burrito thing comes in because after a breakup especially i was in that relationship for five and a half six years

you kind of forget who you are outside of that relationship so i started rediscovering the music that i loved i didn't have to act like I loved these weird hipster Canadian bands that played oboes anymore. Andy Shope, he makes good music, but I went to a lot of his concerts, so I resent him now. But I started listening

to metal again. Good. I listened to that before I met her and I freaking love it, man. So I listened to dubstep, started eating spicy stewed meats and burritos,

refinding out the things that bring me joy outside of another person. And I would implore you to find that because I'm sure, you know, even if you don't have that resent or spite towards him, no relationship that ends was a truly happy relationship, you know? I believe that. You can either cook in spite or cook in joy.

Take your pick. Try both. Try both. See what you love. Honestly, try both. Like you said, there are two schools of thought here, and you decide what's best for you. And take a picture of your food. Send it to us.

That's a good question. Cook his least favorite food. Send it to him. No, I was saying send it to us. Send it to him in like a bag of dog poop. No, no, send it to us. We want to see it. Dog poop in it.

We don't care what you cook for them. Light it on fire. Put it on his doorstep. I don't. Don't. He is calm. Don't do that. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a in it. We don't care what you cook for them. Light it on fire. Put it on his doorstep. I don't. Don't. He is calm. Don't do that. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

Where do my eyes go? We got a new podcast every week for the foreseeable future. We don't plan on stopping. We've been doing it for a while. Yeah. We'll keep doing it. You can see this. You can see us on Friday.

As long as you still like it. Yeah. You can see us on Friday or you can listen to us on Wednesdays. Wednesdays is when you can listen to us. Wednesday, listen. Friday, look. You see this? F is for fries.

Fries rhymes with eyes. You see us on Fridays on YouTube. If you want to be featured on Opinions Like Casseroles, give us a ring and leave us a quick message at 833-DOGPOD1. Also, if you go to YouTube, we have a channel over there. We have so much stuff to show you. You can't even wait. There's the Mythical Kitchen channel.

It's cool. I love that channel. I love working on it. Sometimes we don't cook. Sometimes we just hang out. Sometimes we just hang out. We have the Hot Dog is a Sandwich channel, which is this. Yeah.

You can see it right there. A sandwich. If we're going over the other mythical properties, check out the Rhett and Link channel. Yeah, it's good. It's over there. Good Mythical Morning is a good show.

Most watched daily show in the world. Number one. Good Mythical More is a separate channel that we love. Still good. Go back and listen

to the back catalog of Trevor Talks Too Much. Yeah, go and listen to what is it? Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. Link's dad is hilarious. Link's dad is fantastic. Utterly Ear Biscuits YouTube channel.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Best Friends Back. All right. I don't think it was ever on YouTube though, right? Oh, I don't know. No, I don't believe it was. It was a good podcast though. Go listen to it.

I liked it. And also Smosh. A fellow Persian woman on the pod. Yeah. She's following me on Twitter recently. She's great. Smosh, Smosh Games, Smosh Pit, Smosh en Español. We have Smosh en Español. We have Smosh in Español.

I believe so. Good Mythical Morning used to do like Buen Dia. Es la Verdad. Si, si, si. Adios Mio, muy bien. Subscribe to all those. Like them.

Put notifications on all of them. Mm-hmm. And... MythicalSociety.com. I think it's called El Smosh. No, just Smosh en Español. Yeah. Muy bien.

Yeah, well, thanks for stopping by. See ya.