A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best Piece Of Chex Mix?

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Today, we're discussing a very serious topic: what's the best piece in a Chex Mix bag? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. If the Chex Mix pieces were different high school clicks, the theater kids would be mini breadsticks. But which piece are the cheerleaders? This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And Nicole, I know that we said a long time ago, we would never discuss politics on the show.

But I think it's time that we get really serious, you know, and discuss what's the best piece in the Chex Mix bag. Oh my gosh. I know it's going to get controversial. Yeah, of course. It's going to get heated. Naturally. It's just human nature.

But there has to be a forum for healthy debate in this world, Nicole. And that's what the heck we're doing today. Damn. You want me to just go out and say how I feel right now? No, I want you to pussyfoot around the subject for the next 90 seconds. Okay. And then finally kind of work up the courage to tell me your real thoughts. Well, all the Chex Mix pieces are important and equal.

But there is one standout that I think we all know. I mean, it is just in your face. And you know that that Chex Mix piece is the piece. It is the only piece that really matters. I disagree. I know. I know what you're going to say. Do you know what I'm going to say?

Do you want to do it on three? What I'm going to say? Well, I'm going to say what you're going to say on three because I know exactly what you're going to say I know what you're gonna say do you wanna do it on three what I'm gonna say well I'm gonna say what you're gonna say on three because I know exactly what you're gonna say it's not my opinion it's not my

I hate you you are a piece of crap what is what I'm gonna say also what you're gonna say no oh you have a different one and I vehemently disagree with what you're about to say

okay ready yeah one two three rye chips no it's not rye chips and I'll tell you why tell me why because there is already

a standalone product called rye chips that exists. And it's made by a superior company. Gardettos? Oh, yes. Gardettos. Even though are they owned by the same company as Chex Mix? General Mills since the late 90s? Of course they are.

So I'm saying that, Nicole, if you want rye chips, you get a bag of Gardettos. No, I don't. No, no, no, no, no. See, you're thinking that I just want a solo bag of rye chips. And that's not what I want. I want to fish out. Why, why, why, why, why, why? Why wouldn't you want the single best piece of Chex Mix in every bite, Nicole?

Because life has ups and downs and checks and balances. And sometimes in life, you need to eat the crappy little mini ribbed breadstick. Why are they ribbed? Why are they ribbed? They're ribbed for your pleasure. For my pleasure? for whose pleasure. So, you know, in life, sometimes you need to eat, you know, the crappy little pieces to really savor the really good rye chips. I don't know what it is. I like fishing through and collecting them while also eating the rest of the Chex Mix. Am I weird? What's your general

strategy for Chex Mix eating? Gosh. So what I like to do is I like to put the dark pieces together. So the right chip. You're not even dark Chex pieces. Yeah. The whole wheat Chex. Those are the best because they carry the most flavor.

Like, I don't know why they're so dense, but like whatever seasoning powder they put on the Chex Mix. It's like a burnt Triscuit. It's so damn delicious. So I like to put the dark pieces together and I eat them together. And I try to eat the right chips alone, but I also will eat it with the Chex. And then I throw away the pretzels. No, you don't. I either throw away the pretzels or I just ignore them completely.

Yeah. Okay. And then the breadsticks, I might gnaw on one a little bit here and there. And then, yeah, I have a whole methodology. I will go through and instead of throwing away the pretzels, I will put them all in my mouth at once. I will go through the entire mix and put them all in my mouth and just get them out of the way. You get them. Yeah.

And then I'll take a sip of Diet Dr. Pepper and just wipe my palate clean. And then I have an ideal snack mix where all of them, I think, have good merits. Right? Right, Chips? We're talking texture on that. I love the crunch, the shattering crunch. It's a shattering crunch, but that said, like you talked about, Chex Mix is a bag of, like, contrasting textures.

Fun times. It's a bag of fun times. It's the best road trip snack. Agreed. I think so. And not only original Chex, I'm talking bold. Bold party mix. I love you.

More MSG. This is not scientifically verified yet, but more MSG per square millimeter of snack food than any other snack food I've ever had. Oh, my God. It is so good. It is. So it's just MSG, white pepper, and it is fantastic. Vinegar?

There's a bottle of vinegar on it or something, huh? Is it really? I think so. I think it might be Worcestershire. Is it Worcestershire? It's incredible, whatever it is. To get my official answer out of there, Nicole, it is called Chex Mix. The best piece in there, it's the

corn Chex. It's not the best! It is like a precursor to Doritos 3Ds. Chex Cereal 1, it's a fantastic cereal. It has horrifying history and origin behind it. You were telling me before this. Yeah, we dove into the research. Okay, so we've talked

a lot about how every soda brand started off as some sort of heavy narcotic, right? Sure. There's just cocaine in all the sodas. There's lithium in it, all that. Conversely, every single wheat-based snack food, grain-based snack food started off as some insane, like, religious wellness cult from the 1800s. Like, you had Corn Flakes, right where john harvey kellogg uh and he was giving people yogurt enemas at his sanitarium you know and then post was started by one of his acolytes graham crackers were started by the the grahamites who believed it could temper sexual urges i had no idea idea that Chex Mix was part of that via this

strange cult called Ralstonism. That was also horrible. Have you heard of Ralstonism? No, but I love finding out about cults. So this is a new one for me. Yeah, it was also horrifyingly racist. I mean, straight up pro eugenics. I also love to point out when companies have like historical Nazi ties, we'll get into that one day. But like, yeah, the origin of Chex is absolutely horrifying. Just to like get into it, a precursor. So it was literally created by the Purina company. Oh, the dog food.

Which was called. Yeah. So Purina didn't start off as a dog food company. It started making that. And then they eventually separated brands. But it was called the Ralston Purina Company. And they introduced Chex cereal in 1935 originally called Shredded Ralston to try and appeal to the Ralstonites and then they changed it to Wheat Chex.

You know the Purina logo? The red. It's like a red checkerboard. Yes, yes. Chex, checkerboard. Ah! Right? Ah!

The Chex literally looked like the Purina logo. Right? The Chex literally looked like the Purina logo. So, anywho, the original Chex came out in 1935. And then in like the 1950s, they published Chex Party Mix, right? The swinging 50s, World War II, Baby Boomers done. Let's get drunk, drink some probably beef bouillon-based cocktails and eat some Chex Mix. Yeah, what is that about? I've been seeing that on my TL.

Really? Beefstock cocktails? Dude, I'm back into it. Campbell started this whole campaign where they called it Stock Tales, I think. That's great. But yeah, I really, there's a drink called a Bullshot that has like a vodka and beef broth and probably Worcestershire and stuff in it. I really enjoy it.

Interesting. Bloody Mary, you drink a Bloody Mary. Yeah, why not? Anywho, so yeah, literally Chex were created a ralstonite and they believed okay ralston is an acronym that stands for regime activity light strength temperation oxygen and nature what's temperation temperation is not drinking like uh withholding things from yourself like the the temperance movement. I'm kind of down, though. No, Nicole, don't bring back the temperance movement. No, no, no, not the temperance. No, no, with, okay, regime, that's good.

Activity. Regime is generally a bad term. No, no, regime means like, you know, like a diet is a regime. Yeah, you have a regimen. Like a regimen, yeah, okay. Activity, great. Light, shining, vitamin D, strength, so important. Maybe not temperation, like moderation, okay.

A little bit. Oxygen, need it. You love it. Nature, want it. Yeah, okay. This sounds like fun. What they didn't include in the acronym for, again, the inventor of checks was that they believed in, like, forced castration of non-white people. That's rough.

That one's bad. I don't like that. We officially denounced this thing. I don't like that. We officially denounced this thing. I don't like that part. That said, the Times, holy crap, insane that all these cereals have that sort of origin. It's really, maybe people were just crappier before. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, this is like mid to late 1800s, you know. Different standards of morals.

Flash forward, 1952, original recipe for Chex Mix is created but it didn't end up in bags on shelves until 1987. Great. So that's the general timeline. Going from like racist pseudo-religious wellness cult to then a cereal made by a dog food company

to now being in all our homes and shelves in 1987. Wow. Nicole, does that change the way you think about checks? I was pretty floored by all this. I mean, it's crazy to think about, but a lot of origin stories are wild. Yeah. So I'm kind of like desensitized to wild stories at this point. That is true.

Yeah. It's very interesting, and I'm glad that you brought it to the forefront. But gosh, if someone takes my rye chips, I'm going to be pissed off. If someone gets the rye chips off the shelves we're gonna fight i like how we joked about politics in the beginning yeah and then now it's like well racist forced castration wellness cult um any whom corn checks you like it's the best piece it's the best piece can i ask you a question how do you feel about muddy buddies oh muddy buddies are interesting to me what are Tell the people what Muddy Buddies are if you know what Muddy Buddies are.

Muddy Buddies are something that the rich, attractive Christian kids' moms in high school would make. And then they would send them to school with a giant Tupperware full of it. Or they give out individual bags to people for gifts. How many times you got a bag? What? Did you ever get a bag? Sometimes I didn't get a bag. And I was like, is it because I'm Jewish?

How many times you got a bag? What? Did you ever get a bag? Sometimes I didn't get a bag. And I was like, is it because I'm Jewish? Or like, did you think that this was, did you think that you were being respectful by not, because like money buddies are, people would make them for Christmas. Is it a Christmas food? But not, it's not like a historically Christian food.

No. You know what I mean? It's not like Jesus was eating, you know, money buddies with the disciples. No, no, no. But I don't know. People would make them around Christmas time. Okay. Interesting.

At least from what I, I've never actually made them what are the ingredients it's um i think it's melted chocolate with powdered sugar maybe peanut butter some people corn syrup yeah people put like sugar it's like a coated czech cereal yeah and it's so good it's so good oh there's so much just hydrogen okay let's see yeah czech cereal peanut butter chocolate butter vanilla salt and powdered sugar so good it's okay there's so much just hydrogenated oil in it. Yeah. Czech cereal, peanut butter, chocolate butter, vanilla salt, and powdered sugar. So good. It's okay. And they started selling those in stores now, too.

That came, like, much later than the original Chex Mix. I have an idea. What's your idea? Why don't we make Chex Mix Muddy Buddies, but, like, the whole bag? You just want chocolate-covered rye chips, you fiend. You absolute fiend. Do you think I care anymore? I don't care anymore.

This is a good idea. Write in the comments on the Apple podcast page how much of a good idea that that is. I'm fascinated by how many flavors that Chex Mix has come out with. Yes. Because the original flavor of Chex Mix, the original recipe that was posted on the box in 1952, which was actually from like the wife of the founder of the company. It was melted butter, Worcestershire. The only ingredients were like wheat Chex, corn Chex, and peanuts. Oh, nice.

And it was just Worcestershire butter and like onion powder. OG. And you just melt it on there, bake it off until it dehydrates and becomes nice and glazed. I want to bring back the original. Yeah. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I love, like you said, you only want the rye chips because they have something else to contrast off of.

I'm the opposite. I would just like a giant bag of seasoned Chex coated in butter and Worcestershire and then the occasional peanut, Nicole. That's what I want. Occasional peanut. Occasional peanut. That's where my politics lie. Very, very good. I love me some cheddar Chex mix.

No, I disagree entirely. I think the original flavor of just pure MSG Really? in Worcestershire Oh, no. is the best way to go. Like, to me,

the bold party mix can never be me. Oh, yeah. The bold is like next level. I've had it all. I've had the honey nut, the sweet and savory. I don't like the honey nut. It doesn't do anything for me.

I don't like the honey nut. I think keep sweet things sweet, keep salty things salty, unless you're talking about kettle, what are they called? Pop corners. You ever had pop corners? What is a pop? You know pop chips? Yeah.

The like air puffed potato chips they sell at the Costco now? They got a brand of triangle shaped ones called pop corners. It's also made of popcorn. Do they give them on airplanes? Airplanes, yes. Dude, dude, dude. I hate them so much. No, me and Julia.

Ew. We were on a flight, and we literally ate six bags of those. We came back. The catacorn ones? Yeah. Saw them at the store, and then I bought two family-sized bags of them, and we've just been eating them. We'll dip them in ice cream.

Aw. Aw, man. Yeah, Popcorners. That's the only in ice cream. Aw. Aw, man, yeah, popcorners. That's the only salty sweet snack that I approve of. Everything else, I don't know. I'm not a big fan. Yeah, Chex has those crazy flavors. They have the Maxed, the Spicy Dill Maxed. Yeah, don't love it.

Don't love it. Oh, it was disgusting. It was wet. How is it so wet? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how they make Chex mix wet, but they did it. The recipe was literally we're covering this crispy cereal in sauce and then we're baking it off. I guess.

And then I'm almost fascinated, though, by the fact that all these Pub Mixes, like they were a big thing because of these like, you know, 60s, 70s, like party era things. And I feel like now it's only for depressing offices. Not Chex Mix. Chex Mix is the one. Okay. But like Utz. Oh, like that kind of Pub Mix? You know what I mean? That Pub Mix. Chex Mix is the one. Okay. But like Utz. Oh, like that kind of Pub Mix? You know what I mean?

That Pub Mix and they sell it like staples. If you're selling your food- With the sesame sticks? Yes, which I love though. I don't. I think those are great. I think we need to bring back artisanal Pub Mixes. Hmm.

Okay. And that's a big thing. What would you put in your artisanal Pub Mix? Ooh. Ooh, that's a good idea. Wasabi peas. Uh-huh. Got to be number one ingredient. No, that's a good idea. Wasabi peas. Uh-huh. Got to be number one ingredient.

No, wait. No, no. Hold on. Hold on. If we're really doing this, Nicole, if we're trying to plan a business, That's all this podcast is sometimes. Yeah, it's just trying to get out.

Trying to figure out how we can stop doing this podcast. No, I'm kidding. This is the best part of our day. This is the best, literally best part of my day. But that said, yeah, I was looking for an exit strategy.

You got to look at like, I'm thinking about these new snacks like pitos, right? They're like Cheetos made from chickpeas really best part of my day. But that said, yeah, I was looking for an exit strategy. You got to look at like, I'm thinking about these new snacks like pitos, right? They're like Cheetos made from chickpeas because they're healthier. There's another one that makes a puffed lotus root. Ooh, never had that one before.

Oh my God, they sell them in Whole Foods. It's called, I can't remember. It's really nice. Anywho, we need to take these like ancient grains, right? Amaranth. We can lie about it. Yeah, we can lie about it too.

Amaranth. We can say it's amaranth and then it can just be like a washed Cheeto, you know, that we're chopping into smaller bits. And then we got to dust it with like some sort of like black garlic seasoning, right? Something buzzy. Buzzy. You know? I hate black garlic though.

Something like a, really? Yeah. Why? It's like jammy. It's like garlic jam. Oh, look at that. Sweet. It's like sickly sweet.

Yeah, it's sickly sweet. Yeah, I like sickly sweet there's only so much I can handle I like raw garlic instead not that we ever get lost on tangents here I'm sick of roasted garlic I think more people need to realize how good raw garlic is people make garlic bread or mashed potatoes

and everyone's taking the garlic to they're like to make it more potent roast it first like that makes it so much less less potent yeah it's literally less potent you're muting it you're caramelizing the sugars yeah yeah i one time ate a raw garlic clove and it ruined my life remember that yeah wait was i there because i also did one that was for the live yeah yeah i did it on set and i was like really trying to i was it was yeah I did it on set and I was like really trying to it was during a Fancy Fast Food episode and I was like

gagging yeah and I did it and I was stoic as hell remember that I was so stoic but I was like dying on the inside

speaking of Chex Mix Debbie always used to bring the cheddar ones, and then she would give me the little cheddar squares, the little cheddar triangles in there, and that was like how we were friends. Oh, that's very sweet. I have a lot of stories like that. Do you think you're on the right side of history, Nicole?

In most things, yeah. In like at least 98% of things, I do. What do you think most people would say their favorite Chex Mix pieces? Huh. I would like to think that people think like me. Nicole, the answer to the survey posted by BuzzFeed, which I believe is one of the major three political polling places. They're the ones that had all the— BuzzFeed, Bloomberg, and what's the other one?

Pew Research Center. What's the other one? I don't know what you're talking about at all. The Pew Research Center. What's the other one? I don't know what you're talking about at all. The Pew Research Center? No idea. They do like a lot of actual polling. I have no idea what you're talking about. Quinnipiac?

Is Quinnipiac the one that does the? When you say polling. 43% Nicole. 43% of people said that the big brown toast looking thingies, which is, wow, what a scientific. Is that the right shit? Hell yeah. Yes.

And then 29% said the yellowish tan checks, which are indeed the corn checks. It used to be, fun fact here, it used to be a mixture of corn and wheat flour checks. Was it now? They've since cut the wheat flour to just do. Next one, the brown checks comes in at 10%. 43% right chip, 29% corn Chex, 10% wheat Chex, 14% ribbed for anyone's pleasure breadsticks. And then, Nicole, at a whopping 4%, the pretzels. Yeah, because the pretzels are the worst part.

They're whack. That is shockingly low, 4%. Yeah. I just assumed there'd be some sort of like rounding error anywhere else. I have a question. Do you like the round pretzel more or the window i like to tongue out the whole the round pretzel yeah and i have fun yeah you used to just like kind of sit it on your tongue yeah but then you get the window pretzel and you gnaw off the corners to try and create like a plus sign like a throwing star yeah like a shuriken shuriken is what it's called

and then and then if we nicole if we flip the data if we flip the data here in a poll from baby center which is one of the leading one hold on one of the world's leading centers for baby it is for babies by babies and of babies and there is a poll that said what checks mixed pieces could you live without and nicole there are upwards of 448 voters on this, which to me, that is the most scientific poll that has ever been conducted. What Chex Mix pieces could you live without? Effectively asking, what is your least favorite? Rye chip came in first at 36.2%. No, no, let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you the problem with this. What's up? The question is being asked in a weird way. Yeah. It makes my brain hurt.

What checks mixed pieces could you live without is like saying it's the grammar is wrong or something. It's not the grammar. No, this is actually part of political polling, though, where they call it negativity bias. Yes. If a pollster calls you, which that's how they actually used to do polls and still do, even though now the data is so skewed because it all predicates on the fact of who the hell is going to pick up a phone. And it's always just an old person who's mad. That's right. But it's literally called negativity bias. If someone says like, hey, do you have time to talk about Governor Gavin Newsom? If somebody likes Newsom, you know, if they're like really all form, which I don't know that I know a single, again, not

getting political. I don't know a single person that's like, we really love Gavin Newsom. Who's willing to talk to them about it? Where if somebody answers the phone and they hate Gavin Newsom and somebody goes, hey, do you have a minute to talk? They'll be like, let me tell you about Gavin. So there is a negativity bias where people will actually respond more strongly if they have that negativity bias. And so in this, what checks mixed pieces could you live without? People feel strongly that they don't want the right chips. So, Nicole, right chips aren't just the favorite necessarily.

They're the most polarizing. Wow. And in an increasingly polarized world, Nicole, I think you need to denounce your love of rye chips and get on the moderate train of corn chips. Moderate doesn't get stuff done.

Moderation doesn't. When you're moderate, nothing happens. Nothing happens. You need to stick to your convictions and go with it and move forward. Accelerationism. And whoever gets in your way, run them over.

Run them over. Rye chips for life. If we were to start our own sort of like Mythical Kitchen wellness cult. Okay. You know, like we don't necessarily have to. Okay. All I'm saying. We have an audience. You know, we have a voice. We have the propaganda machine. Maggie, you're we don't necessarily have to. Okay. All I'm saying. We have an audience.

You know, we have a voice. We have the propaganda machine. Maggie, you're down to be minister of propaganda? Yeah, Maggie's in. Good news. Oh my gosh. Actually, though, what would your like core tenets be? Of like, this is what you should eat.

No one has ever asked me this before. What are your core tenets of your wellness rituals that you would? Like food or just like in general? Both. Like if you look at the – Everyone has to go on a walk for at least an hour listening to the music that they like. That's it? That's number one.

That's not a cult. That's just a walking club. That's a hobbyist group. What is a cult if not a hobbyist group? Are you going to play a subliminal sound in their music? No, no. My cult is going to be just free loving, just energy, vibes.

That's how they all start. And then you start starving them of protein. Yeah, let me go through my other tenants or whatever you said. Let me go through my pillars. And then 27 people dead in the Tokyo subway. That's how it happens. So I have a walk. Do you want to do since it's collaborative, this cult?

So number one, go on a walk for an hour listening to music you like. Okay. At least three times a week, deadlift to within 90% of your max to spike your central nervous system. Okay. Number three, listen to Hot Dog is a Sandwich every day for at least three hours. Yeah. After that, though, you're going to want to supplement it with sounds of jaguars hunting.

That way it just increases your testosterone, spikes that so you recover faster from the deadlifts. Okay, next, Chex Mix for every meal. Every single meal is Chex Mix. Yeah, yeah, but the Chex Mix is sprinkled with creatine. Because that way, Nicole, people think creatine just adds water weight. Your body's 80% water.

Most weight is water weight. It your muscles it makes it harder that way you can do more deadlifts listen more sounds jaguar hunting and eat more checks mix okay that's good i think i think we got a base meggy you draft up a deck thank you so much uh we're gonna pitch it to purina be like hey you want to jump back into the weird cult game from your origins i i can i just say something i love this conversation because i feel like I'm tapping into like my childhood right now in a weird way. Does that make sense? Because Chex Mix is just such a childhood favorite. Yeah.

It's like it reminds me of being in like third grade. It reminds me of like hanging out with my homies. Was it like the premier snack food on the playground? I would say so. I would say so. What other ones had the like cultural capital that Chex Mix had when you were a child? Hot Cheetos. Yeah, Hot Cheetos from a year later.

Maybe we were too young to eat Hot Cheetos at that time, but it was definitely oh, Famous Amos cookies. Famous Amos. Interesting. Famous Amos cookies were hot on the market. Chex Mix. If your mom really liked you, she would cut up fruit for you and put it in a bag, but then you would throw it away because you're a bad kid it's me sorry so yeah i think those are the three that

like defined my childhood at least um flavor blasted goldfish had to be flavor blasted because they were new at the time and so for me i was always like literally the bold party mix checks mix has such uh it lives in my brain rent free i see what you're saying as the kids would say but flavor blasted extra cheddar goldfish which i didn't even love i didn't even love It has such, it lives in my brain rent-free. I see what you're saying. As the kids would say these days, right? But Flavor Blasted Extra Cheddar Goldfish, which I didn't even love. I didn't even love them, Nicole, and I still don't. But you had them. And I don't think Goldfish can have a candle, can hold a candle to Chex Mix.

Yeah, me either. I'm trying to think what else, though. Milano Cookies, those are ones that I will always resent. Oh, my gosh. Because the Rich Hot Kids had them. Yeah, Milano's were not it. No, no, no. They wanted to be, but we wouldn't had them. Yeah, Milano's were not it. No, no, no. They wanted to be, but we wouldn't let them.

Where do you stand in the Gardettos versus Chex Mix? Two bags in front of you, one Chex Mix, one Gardettos. Oh my gosh. Which one are you choosing? I'm picking Gardettos. You're picking Gardettos? Because I'm an adult now, and the packaging is more adult. Is it just me?

The colors are more like Baroque. The style is like chicer. Oh, of Gardettos? Yeah, the Gardettos bag is chicker. It's got an Italian name. I know. It's like I'm walking into a deli and it's like, this is the check mix of my people. So one thing that authoritarian regimes do, right?

Authoritarian regimes, they like to create an illusion of choice. Okay. So actually in authoritarian countries, the opposition parties will be run by the authoritarian government. That sucks. Yeah, they kind of, I mean, it's all in George Orwell's 1984, right? Where Big Brother literally starts the opposition parties will be run by the authoritarian government. That sucks. Yeah, they kind of, I mean, it's all in George Orwell's 1984, right, where Big Brother literally starts the opposition. And so that way, when people join it

and they find out it's run by the government, they go, oh, they really do have total control, right? And the goal of propaganda isn't to get you to believe things that are false. It's to get you to question every belief that you had to the point where your thoughts are so malleable. Point is, Gardetto's and Chex Mix, both owned by General Mills. They're the same company, Nicole. I think the rye chips from Chex...

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Papa, Papa. Okay, go. I thought you were calling me Papa for a second. I was saying but. I was like, what? I think the rye chips are literally coming off the same factory floor. I think they're the same product. Do you? I think they're the same product. Well, I mean, Gardettos has different pieces entirely. They don't have Chex in it. But what are the pieces of Gardettos? I don't know.

Let's go piece for piece. Piece for piece. Who can hold it? I've been listening to a lot of political podcasts lately. I can tell. Well, more about the history of wars.

That's good. At least you're an educated man. Shout out to the Lions Led by Donkeys podcast. They do good work. Lions Led by Donkeys?

Yeah, I believe it was a term from World War 1, maybe? Referring to inept generals who led brave men. Cool. Anyways, yeah yeah what are the

Gardeau's ingredients crunchy breadsticks pretzels double roasted rye chips mmm is that really it no there can't only be

three pieces in Gardeau's maybe pretzels pretzels are there really there's two kinds of breadsticks oh yeah there's

there's like pretzel sticks and breadsticks right but is that really only three pieces in Gardeau's no no no this is kind of messing me up no no no you got the rye chips you got the pretzel sticks and breadsticks, right? But is that really only three pieces in a Gardeau's? No, no, no, no, no. This is kind of messing me up right now.

No, no, no. You got the rye chips. You got the pretzel sticks. Oh, there is two breadsticks, right? You got the breadsticks. There's like a flat breadstick and then there's the ribbed breadstick. So the ribbed breadstick and the rye chips. They're calling these double roasted rye chips.

I don't know that I buy it, Nicole. Maybe we just need to buy both of them and taste them in a blind taste test oh yeah they got the little fat bread loaves I love the fat the fat bread loaves are so much better oh my god

the fat bread loaves man Nicole draft your ultimate snack mix team right now based on your knowledge of Gardettos and Chex Mix rye chips mini fat bread sticks

brown Chex maybe a handful of pretzels just to ruin everyone's life was that good? and we're bringing back the original peanuts from the recipe oh yeah I'll throw Checks, maybe a handful of pretzels just to ruin everyone's life. Was that good? And we're bringing back the original peanuts from the recipe. Oh, yeah. I'll throw like a couple peanuts in there for texture.

Yeah, yeah. And we're not bringing back the original ideology of the cult that spawned Checks. No. Because my God, again, horrifying people. What the hell was wrong with the world? No, but you can follow our six pillars, five pillars. Yeah, six pillars, which are? Go on a walk every day listening to the music

you like for an hour. Deadlift to 90% of your max weight three times per week. Listen to our podcast for three hours. Listen to the sounds of jaguars hunting.

Eat Chex Mix for every meal. Creatine. And there you have it, folks. Join the official Hot Dog is a Sandwich Don't Call It a Cult Cult. We'll be out

flyering at your local college campus making people real upset all right nicole i've heard what you and i have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the twitterverse it's time for a segment we call A P... A Pnyansar-like Casserole. Okay, Ariana. I see you also. Hey, do you like podcasts?

I hope you do. I love them. You're just sitting here like resenting yourself if you're listening to this. I love them so much. I love one in particular that's going to be coming out in two days called Best Friends Back.

All right. We tried. With Stevie and Nagin. Yeah. They were best friends in high school and then sort of lost touch after graduation. Yeah. And then now as 30 something, I don't know if they're public about their age. That's like a weird thing for me to say.

Anyways, they're trying to like see if they can rekindle which is to me really incredible concept yeah i think it's sweet if there was one person from high school that you could do that podcast with that you would rekindle who would it be like my actual friend or like my sworn enemy because i kind of want to do with my sworn enemy oh that's a good idea yeah so um josh newman if you're hearing this josh newman let's let's be friends man i'd probably do it with terry pace was that your friend terry yeah he's a chef in l.a i should probably just call him instead of this i could always just terry i'm gonna i'm gonna give you a call man um i miss you it's been we haven't seen each other in like god probably you know 11 years yeah i'm like friends with everyone still oh yeah but you're local you're

local yeah i'm a local local chick yeah terry's in l.a now though um anyways first up we got at randler rose meatloaf is a house food and should never be ordered at a restaurant ah i never ate meatloaf at home yeah i'm fair yeah it's like uh there there's a couple what i would call like um don't call kubi the meatloaf no i was gonna call kubi i was gonna say there are several uh yeah not a pc term whatever like wait it's my culture i can say like white trash delicacies that you never had like sloppy joes you never had that you never had that meatloaf you never made chili before not really they're all kind of subset to the same dish of something likely ketchup or tomato based uh with ground meat yeah um i'm a huge meatloaf fan i

think it is a very fantastic food really if you do it well yeah i mean it's a giant meatloaf fan. I think it is a very fantastic food. Really, if you do it well. Yeah. I mean, it's a giant meatball. It's the same recipe as a meatball, I'm sure. Meatballs are an art. One time, I think one of the producers got a meatloaf sandwich and I'm like, hey, can I try that? I've never had that before. And then they're like, absolutely. And I tried it and I was like, eh, okay, I get it, kind of.

But like sandwich? Maybe. I don't need the bread because meatloaf has bread in it. Oh, yeah, breadcrumbs. Yeah. Or bread. Or just bread soaked in milk. That's how I like to do it. Nice. I need the bread because meatloaf has bread in it. Oh, yeah. Bread crumbs. Yeah. Or bread. Or just bread soaked in milk. That's how I like to do it.

Nice. I like a good restaurant meatloaf. I think it's a good way to gauge how good somebody is. Here's the thing. Here's the thing I'll counter with. Steak should be a home food that you should never order at a restaurant. Oh, I disagree. Steak is very easy to cook well.

And most restaurants, they're just seasoning it with salt and pepper. They're just cooking it on heat unless they have some sort of special crazy grill they're using whatever you can do that at home better than they can meatloaf takes a lot more skill than steak if anything never make a meatloaf at home only trust professionals with it you're silly last time i had a restaurant meatloaf was probably a guy fieri's restaurant where i had his like backyard barbecue bison barbecue meatloaf. That's a lot of B's. Yeah, it was really good. Just a good ass meatloaf.

You know, I like good ass meatloaf. I like ass meatloaf. Okay. DJ Cereal Sauce says, talkies with a banana nut muffin that is fresh out of the work vending machine must be work vending machine. Never had a banana nut muffin that is squishier and softer than a work vending machine muffin. Nicole, you ever been in an office that had a vending machine. Never had I been in a muffin that is squishier and softer than a work vending machine muffin. Nicole, you ever been in an office that had a vending machine? Like they had to pay for it? You had to like put 65 cents in to get a cola?

No, but I've been to like hospitals that have vending machines. I'm sorry. Like vending machines aren't like typical for like me. Is that weird? No, not at all. you haven't worked in a lot of environments where they have been uh no when i worked for a magazine we were in like a very old school like 19 stuck in the 1980s office and we had a vending machine that took the exact change only and so if you wanted a muffin nicole you had to have exactly like 35 cents

how much do you think a muffin costs no i said i a big muffin. I said, oh, I don't know. I've never seen it before. I don't know what I'm doing. What could a banana cost, Michael? $10? No, I just thought you said $135 when I said $35 and I was like twins, but whatever. But no, there's something special about a work vending machine because one, you're already likely in an uncomfortable scenario being stuck at work that you don't enjoy. then the vending machine it's like you have to go through a whole process

right of putting in the coins and selecting it it's like it was made just for you and then when it finally comes out you've turned that commerce into something craveable that you can eat i understand this also there's likely some sort of like steam and bacteria creating some sort of like heat from that so it's a little bit warm. Ew. Oh my God. That is, that is disgusting. Why? No, it's good.

Is it legal? Oh no. Yeah. Yeah, of course dude. It's great. Um, no,

a lot of the diet Cokes were expired in my old work. Okay. Well, I have one question. Didn't you work for a food publication? We were, we were a general interest publication, but we won awards and we only made money because of our food.

So why did it give you guys food for free? We had no money. We were so poor. They just, oh my God. Yeah, they would just lay people off. Like Christmas one day

the CEO just came in and like pointed at people and like, you don't have jobs anymore. Sorry. Okay, but the Takis with the banana nut muffin,

weird. Yeah, you know, the acid of the Takis I think it's going to clash a little bit. But I get the idea of needing comfort at work. Interesting. All right.

At MySmy22, buttered Kaiser roll, Doritos, smush. Maybe throw an orange soda in there. I think they mean throw an orange soda into the greater equation. Yeah, on the side. Not into the sandwich. Don't dip it in. A chip and condiment sandwich. I wouldn't go butter.

I would go mayonnaise, of course. Of course. But a potato or corn chip sandwich with some sort of condiment delight. I was just hoping you'd say Kaiser roll. Kaiser roll. No, the way that he says Kaiser blade. Oh, some folk call it Kaiser blow.

Kaiser blow? Some folk call it a sling roll. Some folk call it a Kaiser blade. Oh, some folk call it Kaiser blow. Kaiser blow? Some folk call it a sling roll. Some folk call it a Kaiser roll. Thank you so much. I am fulfilled. Maybe throw an orange soda in there. I'm so fulfilled right now. Yeah, I would totally eat this, 100%.

I've probably eaten this before. It's like that British sandwich, the chip buddy. Yeah, but instead of chips, it's... Chips. Crisps. Crisps. Yeah, it's a crisps. It's a crisps sandwich, the chip buddy. Yeah, but instead of chips, it's chips. Crisps. Yeah, it's a crisps. Crisp buddy. Okay, next. Emil

Dylert says, this is kind of niche. Welcome to the podcast, Emil. But Swedish pizza needs to be recognized as its own style. Scooish about pineapple on pizza? How about pineapple, chicken, banana, ham, and curry powder? How about some North Sea shrimp on it? How about pineapple, chicken, banana, ham, and curry powder? How about some North Sea shrimp on it?

How about a donut kebab pizza with all the fixings? We've had Swedish pizza, correct? Yes. Did we order it from a place around here? So what happened was it was our first podcast. Do pineapples belong on pizza when we used to record it? So our faces were on the internet too. Yeah. And you got us

a banana curry kiwi pizza. I don't know. I think it was shrimp. It was banana curry powder and shrimp. So that's a classic combo in the Swedish Canada pizzas. Wild. Yeah. It's from a Viking pizza and cabob because it is a Persian dude who lived in Sweden, moved to Glendale, opened up a Swedish-style pizza and kebab restaurant. And they have all of it. They have the doner pizza. They have the shrimp and banana. They have something, one word, just called pizza salad. That's just like a little cup of, like, marinated cabbage.

I guess it's a salad you're supposed to eat with your pizza. If we're ranking pizza styles, you know, I don't know that I have this in my top 50 to 100 per se. I really love it. I love the… I think it's cool. I think everyone should try it at least once. Everybody should try it. Everybody should try shrimp, banana, and curry powder on a pizza.

I want to eat the donut kebab one. And I recognize its autonomy as a legitimate pizza style. For sure. I do as well. Yes, yes, yes. At Dr. Dunt, pancakes with vanilla ice cream and fresh squeezed lemon juice on top is god tier dessert.

Had it for the first time in Sydney, Australia many years ago. There's only one way this could be improved. What's that? Lemon curd. Lemon, lemon curd.

Put some lemon curd. Put some lemon curd on it. A little bit of zest. I do agree that warm pancakes with cold ice cream on top is one of the best combinations in the entire world. I'm like salivating at the thought of it. Panqueques con helado.

Oh, my God. So good. I think they had that. We made it for GMM once. It was like an Uruguayan McDonald's specialty. It was like dulce de leche filled pancakes topped with freaking soft serve. And that's the ideal. I don't think you should make ice cream sandwiches with cookies. Make them with pancakes soft serve. And that's the ideal. I don't think you should make pancake sandwiches on,

or pancake sandwiches, I don't think you should make ice cream sandwiches with cookies. Make them with pancakes. Yeah, what are we doing? Ugh, that's a brilliant idea. All right. Band Geek 255.

When I was a kid, I used to dip my french fries in my Frosty. Pretty normal, but I would dip my fries in ketchup first. Sweet, salty combos. Pretty dope.

I believe that for you you the thought of that makes me a little ill i'm not gonna lie that's the m night chamelon twist that i was hoping for i dip french fries in frosty okay bit but first i dip them in ketchup oh gosh wild um what do you do with the ketchup stained frosty you just house it no you dip a naked fry in it. Okay, but when I get yogurt in the peanut butter jar, Nicole, because cross-contaminating spoons for my morning protein shake, you say that's bad and I shouldn't do that. But I say

I finger out the yogurt stains and then you say we all eat that peanut butter. I said I'm not stopping you from eating that peanut butter. I'm just saying that I have finger yogurt in it. You're a vile man. You are heinous. You are just a heinous, heinous individual. Oh, my gosh.

No, man. That's not it. Okay, okay. Here we got Baby Girl Sheto. I think it's a Hungarian name. Bread toasted with ketchup and cheese makes the best poor people pizza. Like it more than real pizza. No, no, no.

Best poor people pizza here is a flour tortilla. You take that. You put a little bit of cheese in it. You put another flour tortilla on that because tortillas are, I mean, they're really like four cents a tortilla if you're buying the right stuff. And then you top that. Ketchup, great cheap option. But also you get the canned tomato sauce, not the jarred tomato sauce.

They charge you for the jars. The canned tomato sauce will be 49 cents for a can of Hunt's. And Hunt's perfectly fine. And you smear that on top with a little bit of cheese. To me, that's the ideal poor people pizza. I like this poor people pizza more. This is fun, but this goes too far from pizza. I think the pizzadia is the way to go.

Well, that's you. I like this one. I'm on your side, baby girl. You've made ketchup toast, which is a good dish. Yeah. The cheese helps. Oh, definitely. I'm down. I'm like craving hot ketchup right now. It've made ketchup toast, which is a good dish. The cheese helps. I'm down. I'm craving hot ketchup right now. It's weird. Oh, we got salads for lunch. This sucks. I'm so excited for my salad. Oh, I hate this.

I want ketchup. I'm going to make ketchup toast in the kitchen when I get back. Opal Drite says there's nothing wrong. I'm sorry. I'm already laughing. There's nothing wrong with sticking an entire sandwich in the microwave to melt the cheese a little. Yeah. Obvi.

It's tough, though. It's tough because microwaved bread, it will get weirdly hard on you very quickly. That's okay. So I don't know if you've ever seen me do this. I'll just microwave a plate of cheese. Yeah, you do this for food styling techniques as well. Yeah, you microwave the cheese and just get it nice and kind of melty. You just sort of get the fridge chill off of it, and then that'll techniques as well. Yeah, you microwave the cheese and just get it nice and kind of melty.

You just sort of get the fridge chill off of it, and then that'll melt really easily. Sure. Yeah, but also if you have the time, man, ooh, stick in a sandwich. Like a turkey, avocado, tomato, put the cheese on top of it, broil the cheese to where the heat just gets the tomato enough. Yeah. Kind of brings that sandwich up to room temp and gets the juices leaking a little bit. Yeah, whatever you want, baby. Go for it.

Oh, this is interesting. Steph makes what? Dollar store hot sauce and canned mangoes, including juice, blended up, drizzled over generic toaster waffles. It was a breakfast that really carried me through the struggle years. This is a good struggle meal. This is a great struggle meal. This is also like two steps away from being like a $19 brunch dish at a hip-hella restaurant.

You know what I mean? Exactly. I think they're using El Pato, by the way. Oh, that's the dollar? Yeah. Yeah. My mind immediately went to the El Pato. Yeah.

Yeah. My dad worked at a dollar store growing up. Not one of the big corporate ones. Not 99 cent only. Not Dollar General. It was just one owned by an Israeli dude in front of, in Oceanside. And my brother and i used to set up a lemonade stand outside but then he wanted to cut the owner the israeli owner

um and so i'm like eight years old and we're trying to like negotiate he's like you're in front of my store you're stealing my customers what if they want to buy a juice for me yeah yeah yeah i didn't listen he had a point can I say the D word what a dick so we gave him that was how yeah we learned about predatory capitalism as children

what a dick anywho his name was Osi Osi Osi if you're out there 99 cent store owner

from Oceanside I forgive you I guess I don't know I stole a lot of candy from you he would steal a lot of candy here you. You would steal it again? Well, here's the thing.

I think, no, my brother. Neither of us stole anything. It's bad. Don't do it. But, you know, we all did things that we weren't proud of. I think, if anything, we stole the lemonade powder from the 99 cent store to sell in front of the 99 cent store. And he probably knew that. He probably knew that.

Which is why. Looking back, it's just all a closed loop. I'm so sorry. You have so many funny stories as a kid. Really, they're so traumatic but so funny. Thank you for always sharing. Weird stuff, man. Weird stuff.

Okay, Veggies and Virtues says, Fresh basil is a must for breakfast sandwiches. Fresh basil plus jam slash preserves just elevates the dish. The sweet, savory, earthy one, two, three punch. That's a KO. These are very well-written opinions, by the way. I love the voice that people are using y'all are stepping up yeah i just want to say that unless we got like a new crop of fans uh recently and that's what's going on but you're doing great just the way that these are written like people are like very passionate and you can

pathos there's ethos it's got it all yeah i like it. I love fresh basil in a nice breakfast sando. I don't like basil and eggs. Don't put pesto on eggs. I don't... You don't like pesto and eggs. You don't like pesto and eggs. I don't like pesto and eggs. So what? I think,

here's the thing, Nicole. What the hell, Josh? You want to know why? Because fresh basil has such a strong pungent smell. Uh-huh. So is eggs.

Eggs got the egg stink. When I'm eating eggs, Nicole, I want egg stink and egg stink only. I don't want the freshness of the basil. I think it. Eggs got the egg stink. When I'm eating eggs, Nicole, I want egg stink and egg stink only. I don't want the freshness of the basil. I think it takes away from the egg stink. And you know what? A compliment to egg stink. What is this accent you're using?

Cheese. Cheese has egg stink in it. And so does bacon because it's pork stink. But basil stink is just too pretty? That should be like fresh. That should be like basil with like fresh things. If I ever see you put on a damn tremula on some eggs, I'm going to yell at you.

What basil got in, basil's not in a tremula. If I ever see you put any sort of green sauce. Tremula's got a stink to it though, because there's like cumin, there's like a lot of like fresh. If I see chimichurri on anything, resembling an egg,

we're going to fight. I like herbs and eggs. I love herbs and eggs. Herbs and eggs are R&B duet. I'm herbs. I'm eggs. Herbs and eggs are an R&B duet. I'm herbs. I'm eggs. Can you guess what am eggs? Because I'm a lady.

How do you like your eggs, Nicole? And on that note, thank you for listening to a Hot Dogs as a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter, at MythicalChef, or nhandizando with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube, where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes,

hit us up on Instagram at MythicalKitchen. We'll see you next time.