A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Best Pizza Topping?

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

Today, we're talking about the best toppings to put on your pizza! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Listen, we all know Spokane-style pizza has the best toppings, but... Josh! Spokane-style pizza doesn't even exist. You made that up. Lots of people were mad. Hmm. I agree to disagree. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich! Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inouye. And today, Nicole, we are talking northern Washington state cuisine. No, we're not.

Spokane, Nicole, Spokane. Washington? Northeast Washington, right on the border Of Coeur d'Alene Idaho Washington touches Idaho It like Mostly touches Idaho No wait I've never been

To Washington You've never been to Seattle What would I do there Seattle Tacoma Oh my god It rains See where Nirvana Played

Go to the original Starbucks There's a great There's a gum wall Nicole there is a wall There are so many gum walls I went to the San Luis Obispo gum wall. There's not a,

there's none to the caliber that Seattle has. How do you know that? Cause I, have you seen other gum walls? No, I haven't, but I've been told. So how do you know the caliber?

Seattle is a great city and Spokane has the best pizza. It's got canned salmon on it. Josh, I was there the day you literally were ideating this. For people that don't know. He was like, should we do blackberries? Cause Washington has blackberries. Uh, huckleberries, huckle huckleberries huckleberries and we couldn't get huckleberries but trevor got us huckleberry honey when he went to idaho but none of us wanted to part with what

nicole's talking about is we were parodying the idea that people make these tiktok videos showing a very obscure style of pizza which is something that i love about pizza specifically american pizzas though there's some obscure styles across the rest of the world even in italy as a very obscure style of pizza, which is something that I love about pizza, specifically American pizzas, though there's some obscure styles across the rest of the world, even in Italy as well. Sure, Altoona pizza. Altoona style pizza is the one that got people real worked up.

I really want it. Because it's like a thick cafeteria style pizza. It's stupid pizza. And there's maybe green peppers and onions and then just a slice of like wilted American cheese on top. I'm into it. Yeah, and so I thought it would be funny

if we made up a fake regional pizza from a random city. Yes. Spokane got chosen. It could have been Tulsa. It could have been Fort Wayne, Indiana. You know. You just kind of threw a dart. We threw Spokane.

And I spent a week at Shotput Camp in Spokane. Big deal. At Whitworth University, a really lovely area. Oh, Josh. A lot of dark political secrets. If only you went to the Miami Boys Choir instead. Oh, go Yerushalayim. Yerushalayim. Yerushalayim.

Anyways, point is, Spokane-style pizza does not exist. It doesn't have the best toppings, but Nicole, I want to talk about what the best topping for pizza is. We are talking, right now, single topping. Oh, my God. Nicole, you're on a budget. Just one for the rest of my life. Pizza Hut is running the, like, $8.99 for a large single topping pizza.

Carry out only. What topping are you getting? From Pizza Hut? Well, no. Let's set the stage here. Because I believe. Well, you said it. So now I just got to show up.

Sure, sure, sure. And I apologize. I apologize for boxing you in because you are an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a conundrum. I'm multifaceted. You contain multitudes and you don't deserve to be boxed into Pizza Hut. Because I do believe that there are fundamentally two different kinds of pizza, which is fancy pizza and normal pizza. Yeah.

Okay. I agree with that. And there should be different toppings on both of them. Let's start with what do you prefer? Would you say you prefer one over the other? No. No. I like both.

I understand why both need to exist in this universe. Yeah, yeah. When it comes to like delivery pizza or just like, you know, New York style pan pizza, whatever. One topping. Lose yourself in the music, Nicole. This moment, you own it. It's canned black olives. Let's go.

It's canned black olives. And they're so good. They're so super. Is that your answer? You're sick. What's wrong with us? Well, explain yourself. I just love canned olives.

I think they taste delicious. Straight from the can. I don't care. One, agreed. Also, black olives from the can is such a unique pizzeria taste. Yes. Because you taste. Yes. Because you taste the metal. It's not like...

Is it bad for you? Does it have BPA in it? Nicole, there are some questions that you just like don't actually want the answer to. You know what I mean? I found out that there's BPA in sports bras and honey. Is it BPA, BPP, BP? See me next Tuesday. I don't care.

Listen, microplastics, BPA, aspartame. I do not care. I'm putting it all in my body. And like, I don't know. I'll wear sunscreen. I just got a blood test back. And guess what? What?

Pass with flying colors. What do you mean you don't pass or fail blood tests? Yeah, I did. That's not how blood tests work. My doctor was like, you're great. She's like, good blood, sweet. Exactly. Sweet like tomato sauce at Pizza Hut.

No, no. Mosquitoes love you. Opposite, not sweet at all. Bitter blood. Salty bitter blood. It tastes like radicchio. I'm a bitter blood girl. But no, I love canned, I keep saying canned black olives, but they're canned black olives.

There's something about that flavor that is so deeply rooted in my childhood. Number one. Number two, it's just it looks good on a pizza. It looks great. The color pop. Okay. Yeah. Like, it's just so pretty.

Like, it's like it's like black and and white and red all over like that newspaper joke. I also had a dead zebra. Oh, really? Yeah. Dead penguin. Yeah. I'm like, we are the same. We finish each other's.

OK. Do you remember the first time? OK, I'm going to quiz you on our friendship. OK. Do you remember the first time that we ordered a pizza together? Was it at work? It was at work. It was late at night.

Do you remember the pizza? Exactly. Do you remember where we ordered from? Big Mama's and Big Papa's? Big Mama's and Big Papa's. Okay, and it was, hold on. Three topping, they had a special, three topping pizza. I remember, hold on.

It was red onion, jalapeno, and pineapple. And then you made me eat it over the trash can and by made me you encouraged me to gently encourage you i didn't force you to do anything we were there at like 8 30 yeah and we were just it was just me and you cooking at that time it was different we were just vibing different i was like then but the point is the fact that you and i got a three topping pizza and instinctively went to onions jalapenos pineapple, I think maybe shows that we're in aberration to what normal people would want in a pizza topping. Sure, yeah. I agree.

Because when you say one pizza topping to rule them all, there's like, there is an answer that exists that's backed up by data. The topping that people ask for most often, let the record show that Nicole is mouthing pepperoni. Pepperoni? What is pepperoni? Yeah, what is that? Why is it pepperoni? What is the big hullabaloo about pepperoni? I'm is pepperoni yeah what is that why is it pepperoni what is the big hullabaloo about pepperoni i'm not crazy about it also um pepperoni i i don't believe exists in the italian canon of cured meat italian american i think it's a very very italian

american thing um and if you were to like look at the closest like i don't know true italian authentic italian whatever you want to call it piece of salumi, it would be like a soppressata, right? What's the one that has the white stuff on the outside? I think a lot of salami. So salumi is like the Italian word for charcuterie effectively, any sort of preparing, curing meats. And then I believe salami is like a very specific kind of that. So like guanciale, like what's it called? Prosciutto.

Prosciutto. Big prosciutto fan. Prosciutto fan. Prosciutto is a type of salumi. Got it. I believe. I don't think I'm misrepresenting here. But yeah, pepperoni, you're not a fan.

No. I'd prefer. Why, senora? Okay. Well, of course, there's the background of not eating pork products. But aside from that, now that I'm just a reckless crazy girl that eats whatever the heck she wants, whatever jiggles, wiggles, and moves, I like, I don't know, I just like sausage more. If it were up to me on like one of those, we're talking about normal pizzas, right? Like delivery pizzas.

Regular pizza. Regular pizza. It would be, it would definitely be sausage. Same. Crumbly sausage. If you're going meat. Crumbly sausage. The one that looks just like lumpy ground beef.

Yeah, I like that one. But it's kind of wet and snaps. The fennel-y one? No, the fennel-y one. I like that one. Just reeks of fennel seed. I like it. I don't love it.

I mean, to this day, I prefer vegetables on my delivery pizza to meats. My brother, my brother was a meat lover guy he would get everything bacon pepperoni chicken uh what are the other meats uh canadian bacon he would get canadian bacon loin ham he would get everything beef yeah it's really funny pizza left none beef right uh was it left pizza none beef whatever no is that what it was left pizza none beef left pizza none beef it was a meme back in the day on dominoes so dominoes we talked about this in the dominoes versus pizza hut episode dominoes dominated pizza hut yeah rightfully so rightfully so um and a lot of that was because of their ability their app right they

went in on the app game super, super early. The Zalmo's Pizza Tracker. You can customize the pizza. None pizza left beef is the meme. And somebody selected none on every single topping, including sauce and cheese. And then you can divide the pizza into right and left hemispheres. And they just chose beef on the left. Yeah.

I love that. Can I just say, do you know how many fights that that like quelled that you could get half and half pizzas? Oh, my God. Half mushroom, half olive was always a sleepover like go-to for us. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good pizza. That's a really good pizza.

Mushroom pizza is good too. It's weird that they have the beef because the beef is just sausage. Is it beef sausage? I've never gotten it. It's like it's spiced. It's got a bunch of water and salt almost right into it. Like it eats like a sausage, but it must just be for the kosher Muslim, you know, whomever is eating there. It depends on what level of kosher because you're probably not eating a pizza if you're like kosher kosher.

But my brother was a meat lovers guy and I would just look at him eat his pizza in like disgust and awe that a man could shove so much. There's just so much food per square inch. Do you know what I'm talking about? There's so much more pizza per pizza. And I mean, lover's pizza. It's just it ups the weight by so much. And like and like something like a veggie lover's pizza with like green peppers. I also love green peppers on pizza.

Not alone. Not alone. It needs onion. People that get like like olive mushroom green onion i mean i mean green pepper regular onion like that's a good pizza too that's the pizza when they start putting like broccoli on it that's where i have a problem it's weird like no don't put broccoli on it unless it's one of those weird don't make it a cartoon don't make it a cartoon of a vegetarian weird neapolitan places that have like the wood fired broccoli that's been cooked already that's fine

but like again delivery versus like fancy pizza don't ever get broccoli when's the last time you had an honest to god meat lovers capital M capital L meat lovers pizza never never you're watching your brother eat this giant stack of meat

on a pizza you never took one bite never that's when I had good self-control. Oh, yeah. So if it was in front of you now, you'd just go ham on ham. I'd go freaking crazy. Go feral for the meats. Yeah. I used to order a meat lover's pizza because I thought, Nicole, that signaled masculinity.

Men, yeah, yeah. And I was a young boy trying to learn what it meant to be a man in this world. And I was like, meat lover's pizza, black coffee. That's so wild. Yeah, right? But I would order that when I was a kid. And then as I got older, my taste matured. I became a nice little soft soy boy out here.

And I was like, man, I really vastly prefer vegetables on pizza. Does soy boy mean that when you say soft soy boy, does that mean that you consume soy-based products and you have man boobs? Is that what it means? That is the man boobs are, I mean, I am a buxom man. No, not you specifically. Like a soy boy is someone who consumes soy and gets like more feminine.

Yeah, that's correct. That's correct. That is wild to me. Oh yeah, no, very stupid. Very stupid that the term exists. I like to sort of reappropriate the term soy boy though. And I would identify as a soy boy. Tofu is one of my favorite foods.

It's just like it's really a delight. I'm a tempeh person. You're a tempeh? I love tempeh. David hates tempeh. Tempeh is fine. Tempeh is

it's Indonesian right? What if you had tempeh on your pizza? Have you ever had like tempeh tofu pizza? I don't know if I'd like that. Tempeh is interesting. I would eat a

but like a mapo tofu pizza. I believe my friend has made that before once. It was really good. Yeah, it was really good. Go over there. Anyways, point is, I had like a bite of a meat lovers pizza recently.

And it was, I was at like a poker night with the boys. You know how it is with the boys. And we got Domino's, which like really hit the spot compared to getting just like a local pizzeria. Yeah, for sure. We want some freaking Domino's right now. And they got them chocolate lava crunch cakes. You know how much I love them chocolate lava crunch cakes. Those are fancy.

They're a modern marvel. They taste better than any dessert I've had the past like two years at any sort of like fine dining restaurant or any sort of, yeah. My problem with Meat Lovers Pizza and the reason that I love single topping pizzas is that those meats don't create like a harmony in your mouth of course not like if you want pepperoni flavor you get pepperoni if you want vegetables to accent that that's cool even say like bacon and chicken that's an acceptable combo when you shove every single thing on there and also you're shoving so many meats on there

that they don't my favorite part is they're just loose meats because there's no cheese area for them to stick to. There's no room. They literally just like frisbeeing stuff on there. Ham coins rolling down your sofa. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Nobody needs that. It's ridiculous. Single meat, I would agree that I would go sausage.

Really? Okay. Yeah. I'm so glad. Pepperoni is just never agreed with me. Josh, I've been doing this podcast with you for 130 episodes. And it's just so nice to know that our first episode was

does pineapple belong on pizza? And now we're at best pizza topping and we're literally same same. It's very nice. It's very, I don't know. It's like soul affirming to know that like we're on the same page. I agree with that.

You know what's a terrible curse? What? Is loving somebody so much and committing to spend the rest of your life with them. Sharing a household, sharing duty, sharing your heart, sharing responsibility. And they have the exact opposite pizza taste as you. Oh, yeah.

It is crushing. Do you deal with that? Do you deal with that? I certainly deal with that. What do you mean? Because, okay, if we're talking about the best pizza topping is tomato sauce. What? The best, Nicole, the best pizza topping of all time tomato sauce what the best nicole the best pizza topping is tomato sauce because because because some people in this world don't think it should be on pizza like like like not even light like they like not even like it's

just no not a single pizza bianca i know i know i know i know no keep it quiet listen i don't want anybody to know i don't want anybody to know. I'm sweating. I don't want anybody to know about this. I live with somebody who does not like tomato sauce in a pizza. At all? It kills me, at all. We go to the fancy, we go to like the nice pizza places too. Pizzeria Mozza, you're paying $28, but for tax and tip, for like a single serving pizza. And she wants to order the quattro formaggi al funghi with the mushrooms and the fontina and the whatever.

And it's like, there's no sauce. Sometimes, sometimes that's okay. As a change up. But one in every six. One in every six? One in every six pies can be a white pie and that's fine. But that's not the ratio you're working with. Correct.

What are you working with? We're two people. We're two people. What ratio are you working with? Sometimes, Nicole, we have to get three pizzas between the two of us. Really? Because I'm a selfish piece of crap. And I'm like like I want to try

two red pies but I want her to also be okay that literally happened at a spot called Fancy Pizzeria Roberta's alum Roberta's very good started in Brooklyn very fancy but very very good Roberta's alums in Santa Barbara really fantastic pizza

but yeah we had to get a white pie and I was just just like, I'm not in. So tomato sauce is my ultimate answer because that's not a given with some people. Julia. David loves, he goes extra tomato sauce. Same. He's an extra tomato sauce guy. And I'm like, honey, can you just like not put it?

He's just like, I'm putting like whenever we make pizza, he's like, I'm putting it all in. And I'm like, okay, do whatever you want. But, no, I mean, to be honest, our pizza tastes not aligning all the time is fine. It doesn't make or break my relationship. If anything, it adds a little bit of, you know, a little bit of conflict, but, like, good conflict. Yeah. You know what I mean? If someone was the same as you all the time and you lived under the roof, you know what you'd turn into You turn into two gray blobs. You'd be two boring gray blobs that do the same thing every single day and it's exhausting. But you know that little conflict of like, oh, a white pie? Why do you want a white pie? This is the sixth time you've ordered a white pie when we've been to pizza. What are you doing that for? And then, you know, you just resolve it later in another way.

What way do you resolve it later in another way what what way do you resolve it i can't say it why why can't you say it on the podcast nicole what are you is he hurting you no is that what the noises were opposite what oh she's talking about sek that's What's the worst pizza topic? Tomatoes. What? No, it's great. Tomatoes on pizza. Dude, I went to Istanbul and these people.

Are you going to start talking bad about the Turks? No, the Turkish mofos. I loved the food there so much. But when I ordered pizza all the time slices of tomatoes. What the hell is that? Get out of here! We respect our Turkish listeners. We love Turkey.

I do love Turkey. I'm going back. Your president, Salt Bae. We find you very endearing. I went to Salt Bae's restaurant. Didn't order a pizza. But what I'm saying is I hate, I hate just slices of tomato on a pizza. It's dumb. It's unnecessary.

It literally negates the tomato sauce flavor for me. I feel that. Negate. It'd be like topping cream spinach with raw spinach. Yeah. It's like, what's the point? What's the point? You already cooked it down nice.

Now you're adding raw on top. That's stupid. You already made it nice. It's so stupid. And it like barely cooks in the oven and then it gets like wet and then it pools because the cheese and the water, it just pools. Ugh, horrible. You know what else I hate?

What do you hate,icole tell the people i hate i hate these damn stupid pizzas that have the eggplant parmesan on it oh i love that i love it it makes my tongue it oh that's the best pizza you get a little it's just literally eggplant parmesan pizza at enzo's in westwood. It was my drunk college pizza spot. What about the pasta on the pizza? Pasta on pizza, no. Eggplant Parm, it is 80% breading. The eggplant has been fried into actual non-existence. Yes, yes.

There's just little bits of breading with maybe some leftover black skin from the eggplant on it. That's the best pizza. I used to do a lot of drunk Enzo's. Yeah. A lot. I love it. It was good. Never mind. I was going to start saying something, Enzo's. Yeah. A lot. I love it. It was good. Never mind.

I was going to start saying something and then realize I don't want to get shut. Okay. What about you? What's the worst pizza topping for you? Single topping? Yeah. Single topping. Chicken.

There is a place for chicken on pizza. It's with barbecue sauce. And it is with barbecue sauce or anything that California Pizza Kitchen tells me I should be eating it with. Yeah. Like the Thai chicken. There's chicken on every pizza they make. There's like a chicken tostada pizza. There's a Thai chicken pizza. There's a barbecue chicken pizza. There used to be a jerk chicken pizza. I remember it very well. Did not resemble anything that could be considered Jamaican jerk. No, no, no, no. But it was like spicy chicken. Spicy sugary chicken.

But chicken on just like a red sauce pizza is most pointless because the thing that we, I think, really get down to is if you're doing especially one topping, it's got to have punch, right? It's got to be the star. It's like olives are a salty, in our case, metallic punch. Yeah, it's not salty. It's just like metallic buttery. Olives are – people don't know this, olives, especially the black crappy ones, are buttery flavored. Super buttery. Yeah, buttery metallic.

But it's got a very strong profile in a way that like, you know, mushrooms don't. Which I get down on a mushroom pie, but chickens don't. That's why like, even though I don't love pepperoni, pepperoni works as a single topping. Chicken doesn't, right? Chicken's got to be accented by a very strong sauce, whereas if you just had a barbecue sauce pizza, you know, without chicken on it, if you had barbecue sauce and pepperoni, it wouldn't work. It's just too much flavor. You need the balance. You need the balance there.

I just really like pizza. I know. I can't imagine not eating pizza after this now. There's people out there that, like, they're like, I don't like pizza. You know, there's people out there. Do you know who one of them is? Oh, stop. Well, I was just talking a bunch of crap about them.

No way. She doesn't like pizza at all? She likes it, but she's, like, identifies as, like, not a pizza person. What about a calzone person? No, she doesn't. I mean, she likes it. What about a breadstick bitch? What?

What about a breadstick but you know she's just not like uh i think she she grew up on a lot of like greasy dollar slices oh she doesn't love it you know what about which is fine we like have we like share a lot of great taste in food what about fine dining pizzas you know the ones with the leoparding and the fancy schmancy ones. What about those? I've been hurt before. Nicole, I've been hurt before. You have? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kind of in a bit of a fragile emotional state when it comes to fancy pizzas these days.

Why? Sometimes they're bad. Sometimes they're bad. I went to Pizzeria La Michelle Bianca, whatever pretty eat, pray, love place. Ah, Antica Pizzeria da Michele. Yeah, I went to that that's the knee of the place in naples that like they're starting to open open up in the states now yeah yeah they're opening on santa barbara got one la got one new york the book eat pray love written by julia

roberts love her as an author yeah she has the pizza there and she's like this is the best pizza in my life um i had it i like her book book, Pretty Woman. Yeah, it was a good book. Yeah. Richard Gere wrote the intro. He wrote the sequel. Yeah, prettier woman. He found a more pretty call girl. Yeah. What is this?

1974? The call girl. The lady of the night. No, I mean, it's just like that kind of pizza. It's like Neapolitan style pizza. Yeah. And it was good because the sauce was good and the cheese was good and the dough was good. You know what I mean? Yeah, like everything in it was good, so it was good.

Yeah, but like- Crazy hot technical. It's scorching, scorching, scorching. Shut up. But like, see, that didn't have anything special on it, but it was just a good pizza. It didn't need toppings. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

I went to another very fancy pizzeria, Mozza by Nancy Silverton. Sure, we know that. Which I may have called my favorite pizza in the city. I've just had some really good, their dough is really nice. Do a good job. But this isn't a place where you go and get black olives on your pizza. No. You get castelvetranos. Oh, I do love castel castle of tron olives though but too sour for pizza i want the black

um but point is we got we got god this is embarrassing and i am a soy boy the pizza that we got and we only got one and i got a white sauce pie it had what zucchini flowers on it no i love that i love zucchini blossoms on pizza. It's lovely. And on a white pie, especially with ricotta. It's very good. It's very good. I love that.

No, it was spigarello. Do you know spigarello? No. Spigarello is the Italian word for broccoli leaves. Oh, yum. Okay. Which are actually

a really lovely ingredient when you char the hell out of them. And also, like, I'm at a fancy pizzeria. I'm not going to get, like, a pepperoni or, you know, I don't want, I want some weird stuff because I'm here. That's what I'm at a fancy pizzeria. I'm not going to get like a pepperoni or, you know, I don't want, I want,

I want some weird stuff cause I'm here. That's what I'm paying for. Is it broccoli rub? Uh, no, not broccoli rub. It's literally, you ever just like get the leaves on the side of broccoli?

No. Like go to the store and there's like a leaf attached to the stock. Not where I shop. No. I don't know. So it's broccoli, broccolini, broccoli rub and broccoli leaves.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is, well, this is like Spigarello just grows around the broccoli. Interesting. And you roast the hell out of them. And yeah, we got pictures of Spigarello pizza up here.

Yeah. But it was like such a fat nest of Spigarello and there was so little anything else that I was just like munching through broccoli and like eating a dry breadstick at the end. Oh. And it was a bummer, dude. Yeah, sometimes. And pizza is the opposite of a bummer food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I know what my favorite pizza topping of all time is for a fancy pie.

Anchovies. Anchovies. Let's talk about anchovies. Okay. I adore anchovies on pizza. I think. Bello. I don't love it.

I don't love it. Trattoria. Spigarello. Lanzoria. Spigarello. Spigarello. Che cosa? Che cosa fai? Che cosa fai? Go on.

I don't like it on delivery style pizza, but on like a really nice charred crust with really good cheese, just a little, my mouth is watering, a little anchovy yeah I like that a lot it's like suck

get just that little bit of anchovy right there I just really like it and honestly whenever whenever me and Debbie pizza together it's rare

because she also is not the biggest pizza person we always get anchovies and it's so nice to just have that connection of like salty pizza enjoyment and anchovies make it pure pleasure sorry no i agree with you um it's strong counter strong countering strong i want strong flavors on there it's so good big old punch of seafood to the face.

One of my favorite pizzas had no cheese on it. It had anchovies, it had capers, fried capers. So they weren't wet and gushy. They were dry, like almost like a parmigiana. Wow. So dried fried capers and then a little like poached rock shrimp. Oh. Yeah, and it was just a seafood explosion in your mouth. You love seafood, though.

You're like a big seafood dork. I never thought about that until you said that to me. You love- I love seafood. It's one of your favorite- You know, because seafood's fancy to me. Yeah. Like, anytime we go to the Red Lobster as a kid, because my Nana would send us a $100

Red Lobster gift card every Christmas. Yeah. Shout out, Nana. I didn't know that. Shout out, Nana. Is that why we got a Red Lobster gift card? We still have stories that each other doesn't know, Nicole. We've kept this relationship fresh.

I would go there and I would just find like the seafood pasta. I was like, this is fancy. And you get the seafood portofino pasta at the Olive Garden. Never went to Olive Garden as a kid. Really? Oh, man. We were Sizzler and CPK and stuff like that. Sizzler and CPK and like Lawry's.

Yeah, yeah. Also, people might be confused because I said Red Lobster and then said Olive Garden. But here's the thing is the gift card. No, no, no. The gift card works for all of them. Does it really? Because they're all owned by Darden Restaurant Group. Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah. Brilliant. Yeah, yeah. I like that. So black olives for normal pizza topping. Yeah. Anchovies, single topping for fancy pizza. And a little bit of basil.

Can I have two toppings on the fancy pizza? You can have two toppings, Nicole. If you got money. If your money's green, you can get two toppings. Okay, no, but the basil's typically free. Yeah, no, you're right. Nowhere says like, oh, basil's like 60 cents extra. You know what's a little effing crazy for me?

What's a little effing crazy for you? A little effing crazy. What? Nicole, I'm going a little, you're not ready for this. Okay, I'm not ready for jelly. I don't love basil on pizza. Okay. I love, wait for it.

I'm leaving. Thank you so much. Nicole, come back, Nicole. Oh my God, no. I gotta go. We are doing an official competition to find the next co-host for a hot dog and sandwich.

No, no, no. You think it's you. Send me your audition tape. It's me. It's only me. Oregano. Oh yeah, oregano. I prefer oregano with tomato than basil.

When they come with the train, they go. Yeah, people, if y'all don't know this, if you go to a fancy pizzeria, they will have just a giant broom of oregano. I love oregano. That they shake at your pizza. I love oregano brooms. Love oregano brooms, man. Yeah, yeah. That makes the pizza.

brooms love oregano brooms man yeah yeah that makes the pizza but there's something about like uh the acidic tomato and the and the fresh cheese the bread and the little pop of basil where you're like oh this makes sense to me but for you it's oregano basil and tomato just never really sang like that for me that's insane you know what i mean i know i know it's crazy what's the craziest topping on pizza like crazy peeps remember i made a pizza i made a pizza oh no it was gross but i'm trying to think of the craziest like earnest topping i've had yeah like there's a there's a spot that did like the mac and cheese pizza which is like a fun little novelty but like buffalo chicken pizza is just one of my favorite bjs oh what a treat i hate bj oh i love b's all they got is

the pizookie what no BJ's got so much more in the pizookie no BJ's is pizookie only the food is I went and I threw up from BJ's once

yeah yeah yeah did it hurt sometimes no it was just you know kind of uncomfortable and then I apologized

and wiped my face yeah yeah just right there just at the BJ's yeah yeah in the bathroom oh in the bathroom of BJ's yeah yeah bathroom right there just add the bj yeah yeah and the bathroom is oh the bathroom of bj yeah yeah bathroom bjs throw up from anyways uh should we shut the hell up i don't know you got any closing remarks? Yeah. Pizza-like life is full of mystery. And that's what keeps everything fresh.

That's what keeps life worth living. That's what keeps pizza worth eating. The fact that we don't have to agree on what pizza toppings and you can still marry someone. I'm not. Oh, my God. I was trying to heal my relationship with Julia. I'm sorry. And now you just jumped in and made it about you.

Julia, come on the podcast. No, what do you mean there's not a we like you can i love i love julia i love you julia you have to choose i love you choose between me and nicole right now this is like that i love you i'm the vietnamese version of the bachelorette where like the two ladies were like screw this guy we're together now we're peace and i think we're still together julia i love you uh i love black olives. Well, all right, Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the voicemail verse.

It's time for a segment we call opinions are like casserole all right let's listen to our first voicemail hey my name is steven long-time listener first time caller i always wanted to do that my opinion uh is i think that the milkshake is a milkshake. And I think that it's actually a dying art. Like, I think a lot of restaurants are just doing normal milkshakes. But malt milkshake has this, like, really intense flavor I enjoy. So.

Yes. Hope you guys are good. Love you guys. Love the pod. Hope you guys have a good day. I love you, too. Stephen, we both love you. Nicole might love you in a different way.

Stephen, I love you. Nicole, you got to stop telling people you love them. You know, can both love you. Nicole might love you in a different way. Stephen, I love you. Nicole, you gotta stop telling people you love them. Not all people. Can I tell you something? Please. Not that you love me. I grew up in a place where everybody, after they hang up the phone, they're like, okay, love you, bye. And I don't do that anymore. Like in the very Valley Girl,

everyone's like, okay, love you, bye. Okay, love you. Like, I don't do that anymore. But if someone wants to leave a voicemail, take time out of their busy day to call us and tell us their opinions, that's right. I do love you. I love you so much.

So much you don't even know, man. It's crazy. You know what I love about malt powder is it sort of like adds this kind of savory quality to it. I love malted milk powder. When I was a kid, I used to just dip my finger in it and just... Same. He's right, though,

that malts are a dying art. Not only malts, but all those old-timey-ass... Milkshakes are a dying art. ...soda shop-style fresh milkshakes. Make some egg creams out there. Yeah, did you know that the guy's called a soda jerk

because of the way he jerked the handle? Yeah, can you jerk it? Let me work it. Flip that back and reverse it. That's not how the song goes. Sure it is. Missy Elliott? Misty Elliott?

Missy, Misdemeanor Elliott. Okay. I love malts. Yeah, Steven, dude, we're with you. If there was like an old timey but new soda jerk sort of situation, I'd be there all the damn time. No, you wouldn't. And it needs to start in Utah.

You don't have time for that. I don't go anywhere. You know what we need to do? We need to do a barbershop that's also a soda jerk. Yeah, does leeching and dentistry and minor surgeries. I just saw, I just saw on Twitter this person has a pet leech and was like giving my leech baby some,

some num noms. Yee! Oh, and they let the leech feed off of them. Yeah. Weird as hell. Were they hot?

So, I didn't see their face. Sounds kind of hot. Or I just saw their arm. If there was like, if you had like a goth significant other who was into leeching.

Yeah, and the leech had a pink bow on it yeah see that's cool it's a girl i love it anyways i love malt i love malted malted milkshakes i love malted milkshakes too i hope we answered your question first of all the fact that josh is the best necro goblin con john goblin con guest ever He is the reason I'm calling. Thank you, buddy. Secondarily, there needs to be an episode specifically mentioning

metal-influenced foods and metal-influenced restaurants. Oh. And then following that, there can be exposed chest with extra oil and possibly corpse paint, making it more appealing to Josh itself. What paint? What paint? I loved more appealing to Josh itself. What paint?

I loved the hot dog breakdown episodes. Congratulations, guys. Rock on. Thank you, buddy. Rock on, baby. What's corpse paint? Oh, just paint. You know, Slipknot mostly does masks. The band Ghost is big on the paint. Cannibal Corpse.

They paint their faces white and then they have like black stuff like coming down their faces. Yeah, exactly. Or even thinking back to like Norwegian black metal may have been the original influence. Bands like Burzum. Anyways, point is I love metal and I love food and I would love a real metal influenced restaurant. There are a couple spots. Thinking of Pizzanista. I talked about them earlier. They do the mac and cheese are a couple spots thinking of Pizzanista I talked about them earlier they do the mac and cheese pizza

oh yes Pizzanista very like hardcore punk themed I'm not a Persian guy no way but in the hardcore scene

I don't know but he used to have a warm and sassy pizza dude that's pretty rad that's pretty metal there's something very punk rock very metal

about like taking the establishment flipping it on its head there's a uh heavy metal pizzeria in mexico city that's really famous i can't think of the name but i agree if john goblicon the goblin mascot for necro goblicon also for anybody who doesn't know this story i'm speaking specifically to our caller right here um the reason i got really into necro goblicon i'd heard of them but their guitarist alex alareza, he reached out to me because when their metal venue shut down during the pandemic, they opened a sushi ghost kitchen out of it.

And so I ended up calling a reporter friend, and he actually wrote about them. And so, yeah, there's a big crossover in the metal and food communities. Big fan. Why do you think that is? Quick shout-outs to a couple bands. We got Tala out there. I don't listen to any of these people. I'm sure I would love their music if I had the time or the bandwidth to listen to them,

but I just don't. I'll start playing them more in the kitchen. Don't do that. You can just send them to me, and I'll listen to them when I drive. Do you promise? Yes. I like, sorry, I have a little bit of a frog in my throat, but I do love,

I love all kinds of music. As long as it's melodic enough and it casts some sort of beat or rhyme or reason to it, I'll listen to it. I'll send you the album Techno by Electric Callboy. And does that not have any

of the things I requested? No, it has like all of them. I'm dead serious. It has all of them. If I, yeah, I would send serious. It has all of them. Yeah, I would send you a very hardcore breakdown band to not, like Varials, right? They're from Philly area.

It's just real hard, just like, you know, kind of stuff. I like evil music too. Yeah. I like evil sounding music. So like a Dimu Borgir, like one of those,

like the Finnish crazy ones. Yeah, I like crazy music. Yeah, yeah. I get crazy. We'll get some more metal influences in our content. I get crazy. Next opinion, please. We can make actual limp biscuits. But no, that's a dirty, that's a dirty

euphemism. That's only if Fred Durst comes on the show. Hey, Nicole and Josh. My name's Vince. Hi, Vince. So I have a bit of a food opinion. A bit? Just a bit, Vince? I don't get why people like so much frosting or so much sauce on something.

Like, if you like it that much, just eat it. If I want a cupcake, I don't want that much frosting. And you might be thinking, oh, I just eat a muffin. No, that's not the point. The point is, too much sauce and too much frosting kill the food. I want to be able to eat the food, not the condiment. Because if I would do that, I would just eat ketchup packets, right? Am I wrong?

Yes, you are wrong. Anyways. You're indeed wrong. Um, you know. You guys take classy. You too, buddy. We thought you'd left the room. Sorry.

Sauces. I love sauces. I'm a sauce boss. There are some people who like too much sauce. Would you say that I'm one of them? Because I don't know anyone who loves sauce more than I do. Really? I can't imagine somebody.

I have a few friends that are like saucy girls. You think they're saucier than I am? Are you talking about Debbie? No, I'm not talking about Debbie. Debbie actually does not love sauce on her food. I do know some girls that they just drench it. And that's fine. But like I like mine right in the middle

of like properly sauced and unproperly sauced. There is a golden ratio that exists for every food and every specific instance within that food of what the condiment to base ratio is. Cupcakes are a great example. I don't like too much frosting on my cupcakes. Nicole is physically tangled in her earphone cord right now. It's fun. But no, no, no. There are cupcakes.

They went through this cupcake revolution with Sprinkles, right? Really popular brand. I know you love Sprinkles, Beverly Hills girl. Very very popular brand oh my cupcake atms all over the place but since then cupcakes became less about functionality more about aesthetic and culture they used to sell frosting shots did you know that for 50 cents that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying it's become fetishization of frosting so i do agree that there's a lot of cupcakes out there but don't don't let that now influence like how much barbecue sauce and putting on my chicken.

Cause like I'm, I'm drinking, I'm taking a rotisserie chicken. I'm soaking that in salsa verde and ranch. I want it to eat like a sponge, baby. You know why? Cause it's a,

cause it's a chicken breast. I don't care. You are the saucy. I'm the sauce queen. God dang sauce queen out here. Hi, Ben here. And when I get a little bit shwifty, I have a tendency to make peanut butter and barbecue sauce sandwiches. When I tell people this, they look at me like I'm on crack, which I haven't been for at least one of years.

But it's good. Honest. Try it. Anyway, take care, y'all. Does he want us to try crack or the barbecue peanut butter sandwich? The sandwich, the sandwich I like that he experimented with it though You like that?

Crack or barbecue, what are we talking about? What are you talking about? I'm talking about barbecue sauce is effectively jam Yes It's a jelly, it's a jam, it's a preserve I understand this sandwich I will not partake in the sandwich But I'm not gonna jive your turkey

Is that a saying? Is that what people say? But you started to say it and then you realized that it wouldn't make sense to shove it there I will not partake in the sandwich, but I'm not going to jive your turkey. Is that a saying? Is that what people say? But you started to say it and then you realized that it wouldn't make sense to shove it back inside your mouth. So you just went blah. Yeah. Okay. So what's like the equivalent of I won't jive your turkey? I'm not going to yuck your yum.

I'm not going to yuck your yum. I'm not going to yuck your yum. Not in this dojo. I'm not going to rain on your brain. But no, I've never tried this. I don't know how I've never tried it. I think it sounds really good because barbecue sauce, again, it's a lot of sugar. It's a lot of tomato paste.

It's a lot of spices out there. I think this sounds great, and I like that you get schwifty. You know what I really like? Pepper jelly. Oh, great time. Pepper jelly is a great time, Nicole. What's that cheese that's like cream cheese, but it's not?

Neufchotel? Are we talking about Neufchotel? I love Neufchotel cheese with pepper jelly on a cracker. Bro, get out of here. Do you pour the pepper jelly over the Neufchotel so people can just scoop it? What?

I take a knife and I swipe it. No, but I'm saying if you're presenting this at a party. I don't have people over my house. People want to eat the Neufchotel. They don't want jelly

on every bite. They don't want to be using two spoons. You dump the jelly on the Neufchotel. And Neufchotel is just like low-fat cream cheese, isn't it?

Yeah. Okay. One more, please. I'm going to have a coconut cheese ball up in this piece hi okay so I've been

listening to your podcast for a little while now I'm sorry I'm just curious you're now dumber just hear me out here oh okay what are your opinions

on like legitimate like random ass casseroles like taking whatever you have in the fridge and just pouring it into one big dish and throwing it in the oven with some breadcrumbs and cheese yeah because i swear that's what i've grown up on so far same it's like it's delicious but i hate coming home to it every

single day i feel that that. There's something, casseroles on one end of the spectrum are comforting. And then on the other end of the spectrum, they are pure resentment and spite. Like opinions. Like opinions. It's just the same. It's the same.

Some opinions are affirming. Some smell like onions. Opinions are like casseroles. Everyone's got one and they smell like onions. We need a second verse. We need a bridge. We need a harmony. Go on. I've only, okay, so I've only made a casserole once.

And can I tell you what was in my casserole? I'd love to know. Okay. I took impossible meat. Already a weird start. Go ahead. Tortellini. Hell yes. Already a weird start. Go ahead. Tortellini. Hell yes.

Jarred tomato sauce, ricotta, corn. What the hell is going on here? What was going on? It's a casserole. I know, but is this like the end of the month? You're cleaning out the fridge? I'm not finished. You're just getting it all in there?

Go ahead. A pepper, some carrots, some onions, some celery, some garlic. I threw it all in there. I cooked some things together. I put it in the oven. I put a bunch of cheddar cheese on the top. Yeah. And then I baked it.

And it was so bad. It was so bad. My casserole game, I don't have it. I don't have the casserole touch. Yeah, yeah. I got a bill. I got a hefty casserole game I don't have it I don't have the casserole touch Yeah yeah So I got a I got a hefty casserole hand over here

And that's because Nicole I grew up with The king of casseroles And that's a boomer dad Trying his best Yeah yeah You know they're like Listen we got all kinds of

Condensed cream of Insert word here Soup Cream of celery soup Cream of mushroom soup Cream of chicken soup Cream of cream soup If there cream of chicken soup, cream of cream soup. If there's a cream soup, my dad could have thrown that in the gas room. And they put in some sort of canned vegetable in there,

some sort of starch, wild rice sometimes. Oh! Rice-a-roni wild rice? Yeah, rice-a-roni wild rice. And then you put that with the chicken. My dad loves rice-a-roni. Canned mushrooms. Big thing.

Sometimes even canned chicken you take that and you bake it with something crunchy on top like the french it's canned onions take five cans you combine them into one dish bake it it's gonna taste good was there water anywhere in this no because here's the thing nicole they take the soup and they condense it but you never uncondense it you don't want to condense it because everything's gonna steam if you want water you get a little bit of the green bean can liquid. I love casseroles, though. I don't make that many anymore. When I

was eating much bigger as a large beefy boy, I would sometimes just make gigantic casseroles, just like what you said, filled with meats and pastas and cheeses and cream sauces and vegetables. But it's bad. No, you made it bad. I made it bad. The casserole's not bad you are bad i

made a really bad casserole you shouldn't have done that i shouldn't have done that ricotta gives it the texture of vomit never put ricotta in a casserole okay i won't you just don't you don't know the rules i don't you didn't grow up with a white boomer dad but i'm learning every day give me some give me some props yeah you gotta shove the ricotta out, replace it with a cream of cream soup from Camden's. I don't have cream of cream soup in my house. It's condensed cream of cream. It comes out like a jello, like a sludge. I made a barbecue sauce pulled pork spaghetti

and pancake casserole once. It was the greatest food you will have ever had. I doubt that. Hey, Nicole, it was the best. I doubt it, Josh. For context, me and my three also shop-put roommates used to work for the same catering company, so we would just all bring home all the leftovers

and then make what we called catering casserole at the end of the week. Sounds horrible. Disgusting, but edible. I'm glad you had those kinds of memories with your friends. Oh, fond, fond times. Shout out to Sandra Ryan out there. All right, well, on that note, thank you for listening to Hot Dog is a

Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mathical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or like Casseroles, leave us a voicemail. Give us a ring. I'm sorry. I have a sore throat. Give us a ring and leave a quick message

at 833-DOGPOD1. That's 833-DOG-POO-1. Oh, it says Dog Pod on the page. Oh, Dog Poo 1. For more myth... No, that's a... I was going to make a joke. We don't need any more poop jokes.

For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube. We release new videos every week. We'll see y'all next time. I'm doing my pig squeal. This is what they do in Metal Man. They go