A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's The Most Useless Cooking Tool?

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

It's time to rethink all your kitchen appliances because today we explore: What's The Most Useless Cooking Tool? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Apparently people haven't realized anything can be a knife if you try hard enough because we live in a world where strawberries, stem pickers, avocado, de-seeders, and for goodness sakes even banana slicers exist. It's time to rethink all your kitchen appliances because today we explore, what's the most useless cooking tool? This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh.

And Nicole, today, today, what was that with the name? I'm excited. Adding a little flair today this is an exciting podcast topic for me yeah but i get to get mad about nice things that people give me because that that's where this whole idea came from um as as nicole you cook you you enjoy cooking oh i love cooking but that's probably like one of the things that people really know about you do you get a lot of cooking gifts no because i don't get a lot of gifts i guess that makes sense i'm not a big i just say give me money and people give me money money please yeah people

don't give me like actual physical gifts what about like significant other's parents because that's where the worst gifts come from all the time i get frames framed pictures to to put up of you and your significant other yes yeah i guess that's that makes sense yeah i i have gotten so many terrible gifts from significant other parents many of Many of them shall not be named. Um, and they're all as cooking gifts, right? And they're generally right. If they're giving you a gift, it's probably depending on how long you've been together. It's probably in that like, you know, 20 to $40 range, right? Uh, and the only cooking tools you can get for 20 to $40 are either useless or I already have them. And so I

have gotten, I mean, pulled pork shredders, I've gotten avocado slicers, I've gotten little slap chops. And so I, and I also hate clutter because the ADHD brain clutter really, really distracts me. So like when I cook in a kitchen, my kitchen at home, countertops are completely clean. I just, I throw things away constantly. I use a chef's knife to do almost every single tool, every single task, because to me, that's to me that's like the most important kitchen tool. And so I hate these useless cooking tools. The pulled pork shredder. A fork.

Isn't it just claws? It's Wolverine claws. It's Wolverine claws. It's literally Wolverine claws that you're supposed to pull pork with, but it's less effective than a fork. Yeah, use a fork. A fork is like a Wolverine claw that you can hold and also you can eat foods that you need to stab with. I agree. Yeah, so why would you have those?

So, I mean, today we can just take our anger out on all of these useless kitchen appliances. I am ready because we got a list. Yeah, yeah. What you got? What you got? Okay, I'm going to say one thing though. You said slap chops are stupid.

You use a slap chop? No, they're not stupid, but like like, they're useful, like, those, like, chopping tools. Like, whenever you have to make, like, 50 pounds of salad. Nope. Okay, the Slapchop that I got, though, because it was in that $20 to $40 range, it was so small that you could fit, like, an eighth of an onion in there. I tried. The thing is, I tried to use these things because people gave me a gift. Wow, that's such a magical thing. They wanted to show their love and appreciation. And I tried to make, is, I try to use these things because people gave you a gift. Wow, that's such a magical thing.

They wanted to show their love and appreciation. And I was trying to make, like, egg salad. I could put, like, a half an egg in there at a time. Yeah, but that's the fun part of the ad. It's just for you. But, like, that's your Slap Chop. But there's, like, big-ass Slap Chops that are, like, literally, like, yay big. Josh is saying what I mean when I say yay.

Yay, that's about 16 1⁄2 inches right there. Let the record show. Maggie, let the record show. Could we put that on the record? Maggie got on the record. Strike it from the record. And you lift it and you chop it and you can make like you can fill like four cucumbers in there at a time. Like that's a useful kitchen tool. That might be

useful. But the slap chop? Get out of here. My favorite, I once, I wasn't exactly sober and I was watching television. This is in college. And there was an advertisement for the slice-o-matic which is a slap shot but a slight a slap slice essentially slap slice so it's essentially it's a mandolin it's a mandolin with a lever that catapults the food through a

slicer okay that's fun except like the best lever and food holder you have is like a hand right and so this is all like what if you're scared to cut your hand? No, that's totally fair. And I generally am because I've gotten some, I mean, mandolins will ruin you. Yeah, I've never done a good thing. Knock on wood, knock on wood. You've never had a mandolin accident?

Knock on wood, Josh. Oh my God, I'm not- Spit on the floor. A tear, a tear, a tear. No, mandolin accidents are the worst. Like sometimes it's bad if it just shaves like a fingertip clean off, which I've had happen before.

But the worst- Which one? Let me see. No, I mean, they've it just shaves, like, a fingertip clean off, which I've had happen before. Which one? Let me see. Which finger? No, I mean, they've all grown back. My fingertips are so messed up. What are you, an amphibian? What do you mean your finger grew back? I got the Wolverine claws to pull the pork, and now I am Hugh Jackman.

Have you seen? Did I show you that video in the kitchen the other day of Hugh Jackman doing ADR, like, supplemental audio? You didn't show me. You showed Trevor because you guys have a joint love of Hugh Jackman I love Hugh Jackman yeah someone find the video of Hugh Jackman in a studio to the scene in Logan where he's sprinting through the forest just Hugh Jackman in normal clothes going and I imagine it's very similar to what it sounds like hearing me do that on the podcast. But it's my favorite video. But anyways, so this Slice-O-Matic, one of the things about all these useless cooking tools is so many of them have this as seen on TV thing.

And I used to be obsessed with those when I was a kid. And then I bought enough of them to find out that like most of them are pretty garbage. So the Slice-O-Matic, you know, showed it like chopping through rocks and pennies and all that stuff. You know, they always do that. I love that. And I was on the frequently asked questions part of the website. You went on the website? I went on the website.

Because, okay, so I was a little drunk and I bought a couple of these. Because they're always like, buy two, get one 8% off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I can't afford not to. And so I was like, well, wake up next day a little bit hungover. Try and figure out what I actually bought the night before. And it was all these questions, you know, what is the return policy? Would you ship to Alaska?

All this stuff. Then one just goes, does a slice-o-matic slice tomatoes? And I thought it would be like, of course, it's sliced through a freaking rock. And it just goes like, nope, unfortunately, the technology does not exist to slice through tomatoes. What kind of garbage is that? Because a knife can do anything that a slice-o-matic can or a mandolin. Sure, yeah, I guess. Okay, let's talk a sliced tomato can or a mandolin. Sure, yeah. I guess.

Okay, let's talk about one that I really, really hate. A spiralizer. Oh, wait. A spiralizer. No, no, no, no, no. You don't think, what? Oh, okay. A spiralizer? Yeah, dude.

Curly fries. Curly fries are the best cut of fries. Okay, fine. Okay, but spiralizer. Okay, do you, do you, all past alt pastas? Like zucchini pasta type of stuff? I'm trying to, you know. I don't love it, but I did try heart of palm pasta. Wow.

Right? What a trip. How was it cut? Was it spiralized? No, it was just in noodles. Because that's the thing with the spiralized. Like you don't, it got really big because people were making zoodles with it, right? Zucchini noodles.

I'm not a zoodle girl. Too wet. No, too wet. Too wet. Yeah. They're always wet. Yeah. But they were making zoodles with it, but when I wanted

to try it out, I was like, well, I'm gonna make a zetterdele. Zappadele. I used a mandolin to cut the zucchini into ribbons and then I like, you know, julienned it. Okay, that was efficient, right? Yeah, and it worked great. So I guess you don't need a spiralizer, but... You don't need it. You can use a knife.

If you're making curly fries, it's the only way to do it. Well, that's the only time... Well, how often do you make curly fries? Not often enough, and maybe that's the problem because I don't have a spiralizer. Okay, next. Lemon squeezer? Just use your hand. I just ordered a lemon squeezer. Oh my... Maybe I'm finding out something about myself today. Okay, my mom calls

them... Every time my mom would go to Bed Bath and Beyond, she'd be like, Nicole, I found a gadget. She calls them gadgets. And she literally opens the drawer and there's a zoodler, there's an avocado slicer, there's a lemon juicer, there's a special knife to cut the crinkles. I'm so sorry, I know you hate

them. And it's just like my mom bought like three garlic presses. I'm like, we don't even eat that much garlic, lady. She loves them. She's really passionate about them. Is the kitchen at home like like, super cluttered? The cabinets are. There's nothing on the countertops. Kind of just like yours.

Respect that. But, like, inside, like, you can't even open it. Because, like, for some reason, there's, like, a weird spatula that, like, has, like, a handle on it. You know the meme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, like, that weird handle-a-spatula thing. And I have to, like, literally just, like, that's me going through the the cup I don't have any foley here to do it but you know what I mean there are some things that I will clutter my cabinet for like um I don't know if you saw my

my Instagram this past weekend but I was uh just going through a dumpling tear but like having a bamboo dumpling steamer is like it probably not something I would keep in my home yeah uh however it's been really great to play around with it. What else have you done? Ice cream machine. I got that 60 pound ice cream machine. Oh, I was talking about the steamer. Like what else do you do with the steamer?

Oh, with the steamer? I don't know because I mean, I have the little steamer inserts that you can put into a pot, right? Like I am so allergic to clutter in my kitchen that I really do throw away all my pot lids. Oh, that's a little excessive. I know. I know it is but i i don't know if you notice this i'm a little bit into excess as far as people are concerned yeah i guess

but i throw away the pot lids because i think you can just take another pan and put it on top of that you know yeah but like that doesn't look nice think about the aesthetics of it who's coming to my who do i have to impress i have no yourself no i have no self-respect that's the thing how have you known me this long and you think i have self-respect especially when i'm cooking or dealing with food you've seen me eat you've seen me dip a cbk pizza in ranch then crust the whole thing in takis and eat it over a trash can yeah do you think i need a pot lid i guess i guess i guess i just had some expectations and you just i don't know but but there are these little gadgets that like i i love to play with like the ice cream maker is a perfect example of something that is like that thing's like 40 pounds what's it called like you like unitasker

unitasker it's a unitasker it's a unitasker i hate unitasker but i love ice cream ice cream is my favorite dessert and i love playing with it making like a salted caramel popcorn ice cream oh my god what a treat yeah but you know you can just go to the store and get ice cream yeah well i mean but like making it is like fun like that's an activity that's fun for you the dumpling making that was a fun activity especially now that food is my only form of it it's like food and netflix are my only forms of entertainment now it makes total sense but there are a lot that don't have that capability like i'm thinking about the banana slicer yeah i was just about to bring up the

banana slicer i want do you know the story of John Henry? Huh? Do you know that? I mean, it sounds, John Henry? The American tall tale of John Henry. It might be problematic. The one with the ox? No, that was Paul Bunyan, but like same time period, right? Okay.

Like I think, so John Henry, American folk hero. Yeah. Totally, totally fictional. But he basically like raced this pneumatic train spike driving machine with just a man and a sledgehammer, and he beat it. But then he died from exhaustion afterwards, and it's a whole story. I want to take on the banana slicer like that to prove that man— Explain what a banana slicer is for the people at home. A banana slicer, it is a concave sleeve that has little slats in it. It's concave to fit the shape of a banana you see, Nicole.

Yeah, but there's so many different shapes of bananas. Oh, so you see the problem with the banana slicer. And then you place this kind of sleeve over top of the banana and you press down on the banana and then it cuts it into slices. Oh, wow. But like you said, there's many different sizes of bananas and no one size, like the bigger bananas aren't necessarily better, you know. You can put hot dogs in there. You got to curve your hot dogs first. Yeah, but whatever.

And it's so dull. It kind of like mashes the banana. You can buy a curved hot dog. But there's no, what? What? Oh, yeah. Actually, there's a nice little curve, like the boar's head. You know the ones that are like bloop?

Yeah, a little boar's head bloop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, those guys are good. Those guys are good. But like what's the utility? What is it? Like I'm trying to be empathetic. Banana coins.

But use a knife. Uneven. What do you mean? I mean. Uneven banana coins. Who needs perfectly even banana coins? My four-year-old. Brayden says if his bananas are not even coins, he will.

But Kayden. Don't call the police. But Kayden likes thicker banana coins. Brayden likes the even ones and Jaden likes it when I cut his banana in twain what's in twain

yo straight up Brayden, Jaden and Caden were all like top 10 baby names of 2018 and everyone's gonna be so embarrassed in 50 years

yeah man looking back this is my lawyer Brayden co-counsel Jaden other co-counsel Caden would you like to weigh in sure Chad

he did indeed kill his wife that's what the trial was about that was the joke it was a murder trial oh okay that's where that went

okay but like there's no real is it I'm trying to imagine that the harrowed mother who's just my god she needs to

slice 15 bananas a day for all her nine Bradens Jadens and Cadens and how much time would that really save you? I don't know. I don't have Braden, Jaden, and Kaden to the nth degree. Me neither.

But it's like those tasks, like they aren't something fun. There aren't something like a bamboo dumpling steamer that you can use. It's not fun for you, but think about the activities that you can do with banana coins. Stop. You can. Okay, listen. I've also watched a lot of ads seen on TV ads and i also worked on a few fun factoid about me really yeah i can't i don't i think i signed an nda so i can't actually tell you

but i've worked on a few of them you can use a banana slicer to make little you know like a circle like to put a little bear's face on it with chocolate chips that's true can you not use a knife to also make a pair space yeah but it's it's uh there's a there's a disturbance in the force i'm sorry the the biggest as seen on tv cooking product that i've seen lately because i i watch a lot of live sports on hulu because hulu has live sports they're not sponsoring this i've just really enjoyed the user interface of hulu live as far as cable goes anyways whatever ad that they serve you, 99% of them are for something called the Spurtle. What did you call me?

Do not go to HR. So Spurtle is a Scottish porridge stirring spatula. Oh, the one that does it itself? No, it's not the automated spatula, which is a whole other thing we should talk about. Yeah, yeah. This is simply, like, imagine, like, a cake froster. Okay.

You know, so, like, a long bill on a thin handle. Okay. It's like a cake froster, except it's slightly concave, like a spoon. Okay. But it's, like, very, like, long and broad. So, imagine being able to, like, scrape all the, like, sides of a deep sauce pot while also stirring, like, a wooden spoon. So, basically, a very long wooden spoon that you can use to scrape all the sides of a deep sauce pot while also stirring a wooden spoon. It's basically a very long wooden spoon that you can use to scrape the sides of porridge. I just have a screwdriver in my head now.

I have the image of a screwdriver. I can't visualize it. I'm sorry. It's so bizarre because they've poured so much money into advertising this as seen on TV. A spurtle, do you say? A spurtle. You don't know about the spurtle, laddie. It's a Scottish device.

That's kind of cool. It's a Scottish device. That's kind of cool. It's kind of cool, but it's so bizarre because in this thing, it was made for stirring porridge, right? And that seems like the ideal use. Stirring porridge? And the person who is stirring porridge. But the woman who is selling the spurtle,

she used to be Martha Stewart's food stylist or something, and that's her whole thing. So she's got a background. But in this thing. So she's like got a background. But in this whole thing, she's like, and it's the perfect way to scramble eggs. And like they show her just like mashing at eggs with this spurtle. And it's like, that is not nearly the best tool to do that. You know what's the best tool to scramble eggs?

Don't say a fork. A fork? Don't say a fork. Every time I scramble eggs with a fork, Josh just stares at me. And he's like, what creature is this? It's less efficient than a whisk. But who has time to take out a whisk?

I do. I want my eggs perfectly scrambled. I hate when there's a little egg white. That's a you problem. That's a you. Al Buman. What you got against Al Buman, man? Last name Buman, first name Al.

Al Buman. Okay, what are like common, because there's so many of these very stupid ones right like the the apple core which actually that's probably pretty useful that's pretty useful what about a strawberry huller like a strawberry I think huller heuler heuler heuler but like outside of these very stupid unitaskers yeah like the avocado there's that like five in one avocado tool that's like we skin it and pit it and slice it in one and like none of it works because avocados are different sizes no but also i understand why people buy an avocado tool but you know because you know avocado hand is a real thing

and people get hurt a lot that was a big that was a big thing they called it an epidemic in uh in great britain there were so many brits that had just discovered how to use an avocado and they would like cut through the the pit into their hand while holding it. Very dangerous. I feel like that's the only excuse for me to have that five in one avocado tool. Yeah, like if I hurt myself.

Yeah, if you have a history of personal injury related to avocados. Yeah, like I feel like, well, again, I think what we're just finding out is that all of these quote unquote useless tools are just unitaskers. And like, that's what's pissing us off. Like what we're just finding out is that all of these quote unquote useless tools are just unitaskers. And like that's what's pissing us off. Like we're just like, I want to be able to use something to give me like my biggest bang for my buck.

Yeah. But like that's not possible with like a nutcracker. Is it? Agreed. You can crack a crab. You can crack lobster with a nutcracker. Another hole in the plot. All the holes in the plot.

Okay, but what is a kitchen appliance that most people think is very useful that you have a personal vendetta against? Garlic press. Garlic press. I don't get it. What are you using to crush garlic? A knife. But how long is that? Because garlic press will crush garlic.

Okay, I kind of like the meditative act of crushing garlic with a knife. I do too. I like adding the salt and getting really, it's kind of like a meditative. You take the side of the blade and you scrape it against the cutting board. But not everyone likes to do that and they don't like their hands to I like adding the salt and like getting really it's kind of like a meditative you take the side of the blade and you scrape it against the cutting board but not everyone likes to do that and they don't like their hands to smell like garlic

so I don't know Josh I have hives I have hives my big thing so when me and Julia moved in together you know combining

two households worth of kitchen equipment oh wow into one slightly stressful time of course because I like even I don't like having the tabletop salt and pepper.

Oh, really? Season your food. Your food should come out the pan seasoned. But not everybody likes your style of seasoning. That's true. And also, she had like four kinds of salt. And I was like, why do you have four kinds? They're just different. I have like 12 kinds of salt. Well, I have... But like, there needs to be a main salt. You need to have

just a coarse ground kosher salt to season everything. Iodized. Iodized Morton's, whatever you do. I love iodized salt. As long as you have a consistent salt. Anyways, point is, toaster oven. She loves toaster ovens. I love my toaster oven.

Do not slander the toaster oven. I hate toaster ovens. Josh! They take up so much counter space. Josh, oh my God, are you kidding me? The toaster oven is one of the greatest culinary adventures of all time. What do you do with a toaster oven? Toast.

Why not just get, I mean, a toaster i also don't agree with but like do you not can you not just get that in a pan on a stovetop i don't want to why is there even any time difference because i don't know i haven't tested it but the heat of a toaster oven is like sacred i don't want to turn a whole entire do you know how expensive it is turning on your whole entire oven not that expensive like literally Do you ever think about the electricity bill? Yeah. I have never thought about an electricity bill, but my mom and dad do.

And they tell me all the time, don't use the oven for BS. And I say, okay, no problem. And then I just use a toaster oven. It's literally like 0.8 cents. How do you know that? Just like electricity. My electricity bill is like $30 a month

and that's mostly because lights. Anyways. I'm trying to tell you I love toaster ovens, and your toaster oven slander has no place in this house. It sure doesn't. Is there anything else you have with that? Because I like a blender. Air fryer. I need a high-quality blender.

Like an air fryer. Oh, you're anti-air fryer. I used to be pro-anti. I mean, I used to be pro-anti. I used to be pro-air fryer. But now I'm just just like it takes up so much space on your counter unless you're like a single person or you got like you kind of live in the bachelor pad lifestyle it makes sense for you to have it because you don't want to turn on a

whole oven or you don't want to get your pans dirty just use an air fryer but like in the grand scheme of things it does take up a lot of room i i used to be very anti air fryer and now i'm very pro air fryer i don't have one. We've changed. We've both grown so much as individuals. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. Oh my God. We can have a bridal shower.

Anyways, I used to be very anti-air fryer because I was like, it's just a glorified toaster oven. Yeah, you say that all the time. And then I realized that like, yeah, it's a toaster oven that actually works. Like it's a toaster oven that works really well. It circulates the air really fast. It gets a very dry environment. So like, why wouldn't you just have an air fryer it's a toaster oven that actually works. Like it's a toaster oven that works really well. It circulates the air really fast. It gets a very dry environment. So like why wouldn't you just have an air fryer instead of a toaster oven?

There's air fryers that look like toaster ovens. Because toast in an air fryer turns into like a brick. Have you tried it? No. I'm just based off of other things that I've made in an air fryer. It would turn into like a solid brick of bread. It removes the air. Yeah, it takes the moisture out.

It takes the moisture out. Which is what makes things crispy. Turn it into a crouton. A crouton. Yeah, but a toaster oven is just like a coil on the top and maybe a coil on the bottom. Yeah. The air isn't circulating the way that it would in an air fryer. Yeah, that makes sense.

So like toast, how often do you make toast? Is that an important thing to you? I live in a Persian household. So yes, a lot of bread. That is actually not like a cultural piece of knowledge that I had. Yeah. Persians love toast. We love, yeah.

Not like white bread or like wheat bread, but like, yeah, we like to toast our bread, hot bread, hot pita. Yeah. Yeah. It's important. But you don't do that on a stovetop. You do that in the toaster oven. Yeah.

I do it in the toaster oven. Interesting. Eat a lot of bread. What, what's, is that like your one kitchen tool that you can't do that on a stovetop. You do that in the toaster oven. Yeah, I do it in the toaster oven. Interesting. Eat a lot of bread. Is that like your one kitchen tool that you can't live without? Toaster oven? Like if you had to pick one. I don't know. I think that's another podcast topic to be perfectly honest with you.

So I'm not going to reveal that. Sorry, I'm not going to reveal that today. Have you had changes of heart about other like home kitchen appliances that you used to think were useful and now you're just like, this is absolute garbage? Oh my gosh, that's a really good point um i don't really know i mean you're gonna get mad at me a whisk i mean i love whisks but like i don't really need it i love with so much they do they do what a fork does but 10 times better okay you know you just don't put effort into forking things i put a plenty effort intoking. I can fork with the best of them.

You fork. You go fork yourself. You do half-ass forking. You do a half-ass forking. Full forking, Josh. Did you ever get into the home sous vide movement? Yeah, I had it in Innova. Did you ever?

How often did you use it? Well, I think I might have used it like five times. Yeah, same here. Because I was dating a guy who was really into it. Ah, that makes sense. That's my problem. Whenever a guy's really into something, I automatically get into it too. Like record collecting and sous-viding meat.

Like what? Sorry, that's too much. That was an overshare. You're talking to the person who is now listening to the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack because his girlfriend is a Broadway musical fan. So believe me, I understand. But Ben Platt, my God, he's good. Yeah, great, fantastic.

So good, so good. Can't wait for Washington Heights, yeah, yeah. But, ah, Ben Platt. My God, he's good. Yeah, great. Fantastic. So good. So good. Can't wait for Washington Heights, by the way. What is that? Lin-Manuel's new movie coming out on HBO Max. Oh. Not a sponsor. Just excited.

Is it a musical? Yeah, yeah. I believe it's a Broadway musical. It's a Broadway musical turned theatrical. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's pretty exciting. In the Heights?

Maggie says in the Heights. In the Heights. Sorry, in the Heights. It's about Washington Heights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is Washington Heights? It's a neighborhood. Watch the musical. In the Heights. Sorry, in the Heights. It's about Washington Heights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is Washington Heights? It's a neighborhood. Watch the musical.

Watch the musical. I can't explain the whole thing. Lin-Manuel can explain it much better than I can. Okay. Come on the podcast. Lin-Manuel, come on the podcast. I also sous-vided like five things. Yeah.

That was the first gadget that I was like, oh my God, this is going to change my life. I'm going to get a sous-vide and I'm going to make perfect steaks. Yeah. Every time. Perfect chicken, all this stuff. Oh my, you can infuse the flavor of rosemary into your freaking carrots in the sous vide machine. I can cook like a restaurant does.

And then I found out restaurant food tastes the way it does, mostly because the amount of butter and salt they're adding. And that the sous vide machine, for me, I know people out there love it. And I guess that's the key to all this. If something brings you joy, not to be all like a dirtbag bro Marie Kondo over here. But like if you use something a lot and if something brings you joy, then it's not useless. Absolutely. Right.

So I know there are people out there whose sous vide machines are like really awesome for them. And it's something that has like gotten people really into cooking. Totally. For myself, I now can't stand it. I like set it up to use it and I get mad. I have not sous-vided anything in my own home in like four years i every time i cook a steak i can get it perfect if i just temp check uh on on a reverse sear that's the best way it's like an impressive tool the fact that you

know how to use a a sous vide machine is impressive to other people i guess no it's true like i i you know we like ourselves i like to think we both like ourselves so like treating myself maybe once in a while I'll use a sous vide machine we both like we both waft in between narcissism and extreme self-hatred

it seems so much so much so much of both that's part of the gig yeah yeah but that kind of averages out to the phrase

we like ourselves yeah I like myself and you like yourself so if I'm feeling myself sure I'll pop out the sous vide machine but it's also a big waste of water.

Yeah. I don't know, dude. I leave the water running when I brush my teeth. You do? Yeah, but I shower like once every three days. Oh, good.

It upsets. It upsets. It upsets. You know what I hate? Turkey basters. Turkey. Who needs a turkey baster? It looks gross, too.

It looks like a gynecological tool if we're being honest and it makes you uncomfortable. You know what? This is a turkey baster hate group. That's how they artificially inseminate horses. You know that? Yes.

Yeah, I did. It shouldn't be called turkey baster. It should be called a horse inseminator. And that stays in the podcast. That's not dirty. That's about animal husbandry, which is an important part of our agricultural economy. Horse baster. Horse baster.

Get rid of all your horse basters. I'm going to buy you the most deluxe, gaudy horse baster for next Hanukkah. I'm going to get you like a gold plated. The metal one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And make the squeezer ball like Swarovski crystals. You're sick. Are there any like gadgets that you have on a wish list though?

For real. Like what are you looking forward to? Are you trying to ask me what my wedding registry is literally yes uh okay so all the attachments for a kitchenaid mixer would be really nice but also maybe too cluttery i don't know oh like a meat grinding attachment pasta rolling attachment yeah yeah yeah that's great because that's that sticks on to a very useful tool it consolidates all of those those large intense uh things on your see i should just be a spokesperson for KitchenAid. That's where all this is going.

Yeah. Like after people stop listening to this podcast, our like second act in our media career is going to be like, not Billy Blanks. What's the other one? Billy... The dump cakes lady. Dump cakes lady.

Yeah, whatever her name is. I love her. I'm going to sell weird Scottish cooking equipment on QVC. I'm just going to be dump cake lady 2.0. Dump cakes too. I call these dump muffs. You want to dump your muffins? Eat Nicole's dump muffs.

I want a meat grinder. You want a meat grinder? Yeah, I want to make really good hamburgers. I have a meat grinder at home. It's nice? Yeah, it's really useful. I use it for my birthday. Oh my God, so quarantine birthday.

What I did was I got meat and I made my own smash burgers on my birthday. Oh my God. So quarantine birthday. What I did was I got meat and I made my own smash burgers on my birthday. Wow. So that was a really nice thing I did. What'd you baste them with? Nothing. Well, I'm gonna get you that horse baster, Nicole. You're gonna have the most basted smash burgers out there.

I don't want a baster for my present. You're getting a baster. Get me a better present. Two basters? What did we find out from this podcast, Josh? Nicole, I think what we found out is that really uh de gustavus non est disputandum right there's no accounting for taste no i mean everybody has different kitchen needs out there not to wrap up with something totally cliche but it's like i i realized that as much hatred as i have for these unitaskers like

i got this just giant bamboo steamer, taking up a ton of cabinet space from my protein powder used to go. And now the protein powder is in with the cat food. Now the cat food's in with the DVD collection, you know? And so like, I'm, I'm totally guilty of this too,

because it brings me a lot of joy. If something brings you joy, if you use it a lot, keep it. But for the love of God, please do not get me any useless cooking tool gifts. Got it. All right, Keep it. But for the love of God, please do not get me any useless cooking tool gifts. Got it.

All right, Nicole, we've heard it. We've heard it. Did you know? Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call Opinions Are Like Casserole. Friends are like casserole. All right, first up, we got CalebMac9. Walnuts and or almonds in baked goods are gross.

I'm sick of the nuts and brownies slander. Yeah, what kind of opinion is this? I think they're delicious. I'm a big nut guy. I like them. I love my nuts. I like nuts. Great little textural contrast.

Real good. Ate a sack of Planter's spicy peanuts right before this podcast, so you couldn't hear my tummy rumbles on the microphone i had a nanner i i get why people don't like nuts i mean it's like how i don't even really like chocolate chips and cookies because i'm like look man i'm here for the delicious cookie texture so i understand the opinion i just happen to think it's wrong. I also love coconut. I like textures. Yeah, I like textures too. I'm on the same page. KCRogles says, bell peppers are overrated and overpower whatever dish they're in,

especially yellow ones. This is the first time I've ever heard somebody say, bell peppers are overpowering. Really? I hear that all the time. You do? Well, this is the first time

I've heard especially the yellow ones because I've heard that from green bell pepper a lot. Green has a more vegetal taste. Yeah, it's almost like it's like grassy and metallic. Totally. I don't like when places will randomly throw sauteed bell pepper in with a thing just to sort of like have another thing.

Vegetable. Yeah, exactly. But when they have a purpose, like I actually am. I've been on a weird bell pepper streak lately because I love like I don't super love celery. Well, no, that defeats the point oh okay sorry no no i was saying like you know mirepoix right like that is i eat so many stews because it's nice to meal prep and i enjoy eating a nice hearty stew when i get home um but recently i instead of doing mirepoix i did cajun trinity which is bell pepper onion celery yeah

which is great replacing the sweetness of the carrots with like you know this kind of like a grassy vegetal you know brightness totally from the bell peppers i was fantastic and then i used i had some leftover bell pepper and i had some habaneros too and i blistered both of them and then blended it into a hot sauce did a kind of bell pepper habanero hot sauce totally delicious great good for you it no it is great not overrated I totally get why people don't like them, though. I like to eat them raw. Oh, yeah. I love raw bell peppers.

They're such a good snack. Tastes like an apple. If you've never had an apple before. If you've never had an apple before, maybe. All right. That one hot dog guy. Adding cream cheese to your chili dogs makes them so much better. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. No, totally. I don't love chili cheese dogs that just have like shredded cheddar or even like American cheese wrapped around them. I mean, of course, I still like them. But to me, I'd rather just have a chili dog.

But you put cream cheese in there. Yum. You get that melty creaminess or that spicy chili. Yeah. Cream cheese is like a really good secret ingredient to like pop into foods. Like in your pasta sauces, a little nub of cream cheese really, really helps. In your Alfredo sauces, it really, really helps. And chili too.

It stabilizes everything too in a sauce like that. Yeah. I feel like cream cheese has been kind of ruined in some people's minds from all those tasty videos. Oh, yeah. Cream cheese hatred

because it was cream cheese abuse. It was cream cheese. It was absolutely cream cheese abuse. Yeah. Exploitation of cream cheese, man. Absolutely. You know Philadelphia cream cheese is like made in Illinois.

It has nothing to do with Philadelphia. Oh, isn't Philadelphia, where's Philadelphia? Pennsylvania? I don't know. All right. Oh's Philadelphia? Pennsylvania? I don't know. Alright. I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm having a day. Philadelphia was the capital of America for like the first capital.

Yeah, I know. The bell? Pennsylvania. Yeah, the Liberty Bell. I said Pennsylvania, didn't I? I know, but like the fact that you had to guess. Well, I'm having an off day. Courtney 153 says pepperoni and pineapple is far superior to basic ham and pineapple. I disagree.

Really? I think the spiciness and the tomatoey nature of pepperoni takes away from the sweetness and fruitiness of a pineapple. So the ham complements it with that little touch of smoke and that little touch of meatiness. So you're saying the ham acts as like the bridge between the savory cheese and the sauce. I do. The ham is the sweet meat bridge. I sure do. From the sauce of the pineapple. Correct. I mean, you're wrong, but. What? No, I get that. I like ham and pineapple when, so a round table pizza, most underrated, small mid chain pizza restaurant. They have the Maui Zowie pizza. Oh, wow. Which as you guess has ham and pineapple on it. Yeah. But instead of a red sauce, they do this kind of like sweet, they probably call it something offensive, like Polynesian sauce, which is like corn syrup and spices. Okay. Okay. But I like that

with ham when it's meant to be sweet. But if it's a typical red sauce pizza, I like having the pepperoni on there for the familiarity and the spiciness. So you get that like high level of salt and then the pineapple comes in and just punches through with sweet and acid. I agree with this. This is an underrated take. I even better. You have pepperoni and then the pineapple comes in and just punches through with sweet and acid i agree with this this is an underrated take i even better you have pepperoni and bacon and jalapeno and pineapple pepperoni bacon jalapeno pineapple all right at shell bay 49 boxed mac and cheese is best when mixed with sweet corn no it is best mixed with Hebrew National Hot Nugs. High five. Yes. No, I actually,

I do like boxed mac and cheese with sweet corn. I have had that. Maggie's embarrassed. Oh, Shelby, you've embarrassed our producer.

She's making an embarrassment from our podcast. Oh, we're killing Maggie with embarrassment. I'm not apologizing. I'm not embarrassed. This is like American. This is my life.

Get out of my room, mom. It's like American street. It's like American cheese corn. Or elotes, yeah. This is elotes. It's elotes. This is white elotes. And it's a beautiful thing.

I think this is good. I like a little pop of corn in my mac. Why not? Yeah, it changes the taste dimensions a whole lot. It makes it a new thing. I don't think it's best, but I do think it's accessible. Yeah, yeah, again, hot dogs and ketchup. Beth, I'm serious.

Hot dogs and ketchup. You put the ketchup on the hot mac so the ketchup gets up to mac time? Honey, you don't need to explain none of this to me. You are preaching to the choir. All right, the Mangy Cat says, Drinking straight pickle juice is 100% acceptable. I keep a jar of pickle juice in my fridge. So I had a period of time when I would do the same thing and i think you might have a deficiency i think you might have

a sodium deficiency i'm not trying to be rude i think yeah i think you just need to up your salt and take in your food i need to start using pickle juice and more cocktails yeah you sure do i sure do you know what i got one time i got something called pickle pops and it was pickle juice uh ice uh what icicles popsicles like pickle juice popsicles yeah ot something called pickle pops and it was pickle juice, ice, what, icicles? Popsicles. Like an otter pop. Pickle juice popsicles. Yeah, otter pop, but so crazy.

How was it? It was pickle juice, frozen pickle juice. At jhon101, honey in a hot salsa, not all the time, but it satisfies my basic sweet, spicy, salty needs. Yeah, putting agave in salsa is a great little tip. A thing that I've realized most people don't know how to balance is like, I mean, you should like not all sauces need sugar, but if you, I mean, a little pinch of sugar into tomato to me, like really, it just elevates the sweetness of the tomato and then it can handle more salt too.

Totally. I remember once I was making a homemade salsa and I was kind of trying to go for like the whitest salsa possible, like paste picante sauce, right? Great. Paste picante sauce is lovely. It's what a lot of people in America, yeah, it's what like a lot of Americans think of when they think of jarred salsa.

And I was kind of trying to make my own and I found out it was just a constant balance of sugar and salt until both were at such insanely high levels. And that was the secret to it. Got it. So yeah, a little bit of honey and salsa, do it to it.

Yeah, why not? BrewdrewXpeer says, strawberry jelly on Oreos rules. Okay. Yeah. You know what this is? What? This is sponge. What's?

Not sponge. No, this is a pinguinos. Oh, it is pinguinos. Yeah, this is basically a gansito. Yeah, that to me is why the Mexican snack cakes will always overtake the American snack cakes because there is the- Really? Well, I mean like, oh yeah, dude, love the the gansito brand you think so i think i guess i like the flavor

of american snack cakes more because they're sweeter that's just me i know what you mean some of the mexican ones are a little bit more bready yeah they're bready yeah yeah uh but no i really enjoy the combination a lot of them have like a fruit and chocolate combo to it so i love i love love getting that with the oreos uh oreos just roll though yeah oreos you can probably put anything with oreos like any sweet thing with oreos and it'll work dump some like nice fancy like cinnamon almond butter on an oreo oh yeah yum yeah i just love peanut butter and oreos kind of like because i learned it from the parent trap movie yes yeah i remember trying to explain to like nine-year-olds that that was a single actor uh-huh and they're like how do they do it when were to, like, nine-year-olds that that was a single actor. Uh-huh.

And they were like, how do they do it? When were you hanging out with nine-year-olds? No, I was nine. I was nine. Oh, you were nine. I was nine. I wasn't, as an adult, trying to explain Lindsay Lohan's role to nine-year-olds. That'd be weird.

No, it wouldn't. Kinda. Why? What if you watched it? What if you were a camp counselor and, like, you watched it? That makes sense. I guess, like, you have, like like little cousins and nephews and stuff. So like you're around children.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm never around children. Yeah. ML Jetson says, Banana slash zucchini bread is just cake disguised as bread. Why call it bread? Wrong texture. I think it's because it's cooked in a loaf pan for the most part.

I mean, pound cake's cooked in a loaf pan. Yeah, but that's pound cake. Butter cake cooked in a loaf pan. the most part. I mean, pound cake's cooked in a loaf pan. Yeah, but that's pound cake. Butter cake cooked in a loaf pan. Why not call it butter bread? No. I don't know why. I don't know. This is the thing I think about all the time when people are talking about like banana bread.

Because it's just a cake. It's a banana cake. Yeah, it's banana cake. Which bread is a misnomer. Yes. But then people come in and be like, well, there's quick breads and then there's yeasted breads. And it's like, no, no, no. A quick bread is called a cake.

There's savory cooked breads like a beer bread, Irish soda bread, stuff like that. But no, I fully believe that banana bread is cake. And there might be a podcast in the future about that. At Adriana K. Shaw, my roommate dips cucumbers in cream cheese and chocolate pudding weirds me out. Same. Well, yeah. Why? No, no, no. No, no, no. Don't be judgmental. No, I was trying tos me out. Same. Well, yeah. Why? No, no, no.

No, no, no. Don't be judgmental. No, I was trying to figure this out. The whole idea of this part of the podcast is to be judgmental. What are you talking about? Don't be judgmental. No, the whole part of this is to try and eschew your judgments for empathy. Maybe for you.

Not for me. Okay, so my favorite flavor, maybe my favorite ice cream in all of LA is saffron and rose cucumber ice cream. Really? That's your favorite? I think it's so spectacular because I've had like cucumber sorbet and stuff like that. But this isn't that. This takes cucumbers and they're like pretty much sugar cured in the ice cream. So they get this like crazy sort of like crunchy, toothsome texture. And it's not any acid or freshness.

It's just cucumber and sweet cream and sugar and it's absolutely delicious so I love sweet cucumber stuff it's the chocolate that bumps me a little bit chocolate and vegetal taste to me I do not enjoy I don't understand it no even though chocolate and jalapeno don't love you go chocolate chipotle chocolate

and a dried chili that's a different story but it's like the greenness for me yeah keep doing it and a dried chili, that's a different story. Dry chili, 100% dry chili, yeah. But it's like the greenness for me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But keep doing it. You know, eat what you want. You know, you go out there,

you give a hard effort all four quarters, you know, and that's really what the opinions are about, Nicole. Well, on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at Mythical Chef or nhendizadeh with the hashtag opinioncasserole.

I need some beef jerky. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube. We launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, you can hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. We got any turkey jerky in the kitchen? We'll see you next time.