A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - What's the Worst Holiday Food?

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Today, Josh and Nicole are talking about the worst foods we eat during the holidays! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we make the gayest Yuletide. I'm your host, Josh Scherer.

And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And today, Nicole, we are discussing what the worst holiday foods are. We are hurtling towards the Christmas, the Hanukkah, the New Year's. It's not really New Year's foods. The Equinox? We're talking about Christmas foods. That's where we're at right now. And we're a room of three Jews.

Yes. And Eliahu Anabim's coming later. We're saving the seat, baby. But I reckon I was the only one in here that grew up celebrating Christmas. I think you might have been the only one. I think I was. And I will say it was more divorced from Christianity as my parents were divorced themselves. My dad was just kind of like a white guy from Pennsylvania So Christmas for me was mostly about eating peppermint flavored thrifty ice cream Oh

Towards then and then also making our traditional Christmas feast, which was always Just mostly bad. It was Thanksgiving. But like a little bit there was ham instead of turkey. Yeah. I was gonna see where your ham family Yeah, yeah, we were definitely you look at me and ask were you a ham family? You know, but like a little bit there was ham instead of turkey. Yeah, I was gonna say were you ham family? Yeah, yeah, we were definitely. You look at me and ask were you a ham family? You know we were a ham family, of course. I just had to make sure. My diet was 85% ham growing up and the other 20% was just Johnsonville bratwurst.

Wow. I know. That's why you glow at night. It really is. Radioactive. So many nitrates all curing. My flesh is pink. My flesh is just corned beef at this point.

Yeah, it really is. You could shave me into a sandwich on some rye. But today we're going through the worst possible Christmas foods. Nicole, what do you know about Christmas food? I know that there's a lot of warm spices in Christmas foods. There's a lot of cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg. That's like kind of a through line through sweet and savory things. That's pretty much all I know and lots of peppermint. There's a lot of peppermint and

like dried fruits seem to make a large, it's a large presence of dried fruits. Mm-hmm. Which I noticed. You are speaking to the Christmas tradition of fruit cake, which for us, I think that was more, it's like Brussels sprouts, right? Brussels sprouts became like a cartoonish villain. Yeah. Right? You would be watching Rugrats growing up

and they'd be like, oh no, Brussels sprouts or whatever. I thought it was always broccoli. Broccoli was more gross than Brussels sprouts because I think broccoli was more commonly known than Brussels sprouts. Interesting. But both of them They they get that like bad rap right dude. They're stinky was it George W. Bush didn't like broccoli

You know what I mean? The one thing I remember the Bush presidency You know Full me once, shame on you. Full me twice, kick it full again. That's a nice little J. Cole sample. Oh god, I know he's out there just painting. Anyways, that same image that Brussels sprouts and broccoli had, fruitcake got that image. I don't think I'd ever had a fruitcake until, like, hack stand-up comedians would talk about how bad fruitcake is. You send it to one person, they send it to another, and then you got a 30-year-old fruitcake.

You ever had a Christmas fruitcake? I did. I have, it was recent though, like maybe like two years ago. What'd you think about it? It was a dense, wet, but dry slice of dessert. That's what I want. That is my ideal dessert. So tell the people what fruitcake is, because there's different definitions of fruitcake, I imagine.

Or is there only one? I would say there is like a traditional fruitcake, and so much of what might be looked at as like traditional Christmas foods, a lot of it's coming from like the British tradition, right? I agree, yeah. Lots of UK stuff. Lots of UK stuff. And so a traditional fruitcake to me is a very dark dense batter that is just studded with a ton of Those cherries that are inexplicably green and red cherries that are how do the cherries even get green food color? I know it's food dye, but like I think you have to use the whitest you bleach and cherries

I think they must be bleaching the cherries in order to make that's great And they're boiled in sugar for so long. If you boil fruit and sugar for long enough, it's almost like the sugar completely takes over this husk of a fruit. It's actually a really cool technique. Yeah, it is. And I love those dried cherries. But you take that, sometimes you soak it in rum or brandy or whatever, and then you mix that into the batter,

and then like you said, it's generally baked or it'll be baked in a water bath. So you're kind of steaming it. So it's kind of like a British pudding. Yeah, pretty much. baked in a water bath. Mm-hmm. So you kind of steaming it It's kind of like a like a put like a British pudding. Yeah, it is a British pudding I think British puddings are like cooked more with water I think the the the water bath in a fruitcake is just to stop it from like cracking on the top But it does get it that like dense texture. Yeah, there's tons of molasses in it. I love it. I love it I think it's one of those situations where like you said, we've been told that it's disgusting, so we've always framed it as disgusting and gross,

but if you ever slice into one, it's like boozy. It's like a boozy, soaked, delicious dessert. I'm getting drunk off cake. But like what started the idea of soaking cakes in liquor like that? Cause that's kind of crazy. Like drunk cake. So, you know, we have all the flavors in the world now.

Yes, we do. You go to a grocery store and you see they have strawberry flavored cakes, they got German chocolate cakes with the coconut. You can literally get birthday cake flavored cake, which I think is a very strange thing, but you have access to every flavor in the world. You can literally get birthday cake flavored cake, which I think is a very strange thing, but you have access to every flavor in the world. You do. You go back even a hundred years, especially 200, especially 300 years ago. If you especially go back 500 years ago before the Colombian exchange, right?

Like you don't have vanilla, you don't have chocolate, people were still eating desserts. All you had was like fruits that were dried and hooch. Right. Right? Like that's what you flavor things with. And the spice trade, right, has always been kicking around. Oh, it's been kicking around. You know what I mean though? But like the reason spices were so important is because they didn't have a shelf of Duncan Hines pre-seasoned cakes. Right?

Spices became such a big sad symbol because they were like, clove is the best thing I have ever tasted. In my life, yeah. And be like, what if we put some little rotten grape juice on it and some fruit and they're like, oh my god, mind blown. Was it used as a preservation method, you think? Like soaking the cakes in alcohol? Oh, could have been.

Could have been. Yeah, that's an interesting thing. Maybe, maybe. It is already just so dense and sugary, but even then like refined sugar, like a lot of these things weren't actually commonly eaten. It was like for aristocracy. For special occasions. That's the stuff that was like written down and so we kind of know about it. Right. So do you, so are we pro fruitcake? Are we anti fruitcake? Who are we?

I... Who are we? What are we doing? When I was thinking about the list of all of these holiday foods, and again a lot of them, like the ultra traditional ones that people say are disgusting are just British. Yeah. I don't know that there's one that I hate. I think I really love this canon of desserts and I think we should get more into them as Americans.

Okay. So let's, Christmas pudding. It's, I mean, when do we have Christmas pudding? We don't. We've made it before. When do we? We don't have Christmas pudding. We don't need Christmas pudding.

The Brits do it. I need Christmas pudding. I'm making a Christmas pudding. No, I'm not making a Christmas pudding this year, but I wish I would have I would have done it for Thanksgiving. I wish I would have done a steamed. It's a steamed cake is what the pudding is. Yeah, the texture is always really confusing to me because it's kind of in between. It's just like you said, it's a steamed cake. It's almost like have you ever seen those honeycomb cakes like those Vietnamese Thai honeycomb cakes that are made with mochi? Oh, yeah, it reminds me of, because those cakes are steamed as well.

And it's like this weird, it's like wet and dry at the same time. But I like it. That's where I want to live. It's very confusing for me. No, I mean, I think I'm a bigger fan of like a chiffon cake. Like, chiffon cakes do something for you. Why are you looking at me like that? I don't know. Chiffon cake? You don't like chiffon cakes?

No, where's the dents? Where's all the nuts? You don't need dents. Where's the beef kidney fat? Oh my, like chiffon cake? No, where's the dense? Where's all the nuts? Where's the beef kidney fat? Oh my, like the suet? Like I don't need my desserts to be cooked with suet. I don't need that. Really I don't know. In a traditional steamed pudding,

which is a traditional Christmas pudding, also known as a figgy pudding, you use something called suet, which you can buy. It's already sort of in pellets. It's pellets, yeah, pellet form fat. But the fat is, I believe, is the fat cap encasing kidneys. And that is traditionally used in the desserts. And I have made, they make vegan suet now, of course,

which is just kind of hydrogenated oils, but it's in that pellet form, which is what gives you like a rise in the cake. So it's like you're shredding butter into a pie dough, et cetera, et cetera. Hear me out. Go ahead. Just use butter. Well, I don't know. I think there's something about the animal fat. I think there there is something that is so

Enticing to me about that figgy pudding which again mostly doesn't have figs in it. I don't know I just I just don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. What holiday desserts are you into? It's like eggnog. You're you're you're not gal What holiday desserts are you into? It's like eggnog. You're you're you're a nog gal You're talking about virgin nog or like a little experience nog. You know that's been nogged through the grass for a little bit You're no get the hell out of here. You're drinking lactate noggin Well, yeah, lactose intolerant and I want to feel festive So I'm gonna be drinking the lactate nog But I will say do I get a nice little glass jar of that yellow stuff that deep yellow stuff Yeah, but I love the lactate nog. But I will say, do I get a nice little glass jar of that yellow stuff, that

deep yellow stuff? Yeah. But I love the lactate nog. There's a really fantastic local dairy called Brogueers. That's what I'm talking about. With the cow on it, that's like, that's me being happy. This is the brand of milk in Los Angeles. It is local dairy and they actually, their milk tastes really good. So delicious. But it's sold in like the big glass bottles. That's what I'm talking about.

You can like recycle it, it's really nice. Yeah, and they make the best freaking eggnog. It's so yellow. It's the most yellow nog I've ever seen. I will say, eggnog is about as disgusting as a food can get while still being delicious. Why? What's disgusting about eggnog? You're drinking raw eggs. That tends to be a thing that people avoid. What do you mean protein? You've seen Rocky? Have I avoid. What do you mean protein? You've seen Rocky?

Have I seen Rocky? Have you seen Rocky? I have not seen Rocky. I was about to ask how many Rockies you've seen. Have you seen none of the Rockies? Well, I have a favorite Rocky. It's the Russian one. Yeah, Rocky IV. He dies, he dies. I loved Bridget Nielsen and Drago in that that it was phenomenal loved every second. Yeah, Rocky five was tough

That's when Rocky no longer is fighting. He's training Tommy machine gun is that Michael Jordan Jordan comes in in Creed which they are now up to three three Creed's Three Creed's but but like Rocky five some people don't even kind of consider in the can Can I tell you what I do sometimes in the morning when I'm having a really bad morning? I like Rocky 3 because he has a robot. Go ahead. I listen to the song where he's running up the stairs and it really pipes me up for a good day. No, no, no.

Where he goes, No, shut up! I'm getting there! Where he goes, Oh yeah, you're right, you're right. There is the crescendo and just the vibe of like Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Na na na na Na na na na Na na na na And then I'm like I don't know if I'm supposed to be making love right now or being proud of America's fight of violence But I'm gonna do both

Wait eggnog, it's good I'm saying they put that scene in Rocky to disgust people of him drinking the right eggs And then we just do it for funsies But what do you mean everything is gross whenever you think about it. I agree with that. And I'm saying I very uniquely love not only eggnog, but like eggnog flavored things when the holidays come around. Because when we... Okay, let's pull back the curtain on podcasts, right? We were gonna do what's the worst podcast because we've noticed that due to... Y'all love negative SHIT.

We don't like being negative about food, you know, but if you put worst in there, people will cook more. What's wrong with you? We don't like that we're playing into this. However, my own, we already did best holiday foods, we were out of ideas, but my own personal predilections, there's like not a lot of foods that I hate. Yeah, I agree. The foods that I hate are because they're like uninteresting. Eggnog is interesting.

I mean, what- You're emulsifying raw eggs with dairy, but a bunch of sugar and spices, fun. But aren't the eggs like cooked a little bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cook it and pasteurization time. It's pasteurized, yeah, yeah, yeah. 140... 138, I believe.

Is it? I believe so. It's 138 over 10. Yeah, I mean, when you think about it, Tiramisu has the same thing, it's just the proportion's a little bit different, you're adding mascarpone cheese. It's delicious, eggnog is good. Stop being an eggnog hater.

Whenever you have a whiskey sour, what do you think they're shaking up in there to make that beautiful foam? Guess what? It's eggs. What do you mean? You're still consuming it, it's eggs. Have you had coquito? I have're still consuming it. It's eggs.

Have you had Coquito? I have not had Coquito. Is there eggs in Coquito? You know Coquito. There are no eggs in Coquito. I don't believe. Coquito is a, it ends up tasting like eggnog, but there's no egg in it,

but it has the same flavor profiles. But it's made with like coconut milk, coconut cream, rum, candela. It's just a super sweet rummy drink that's from Puerto Rico. And Coquito is absolutely delicious. Do you put liquor in your eggnog? Sometimes but does the Southern Comfort one have Southern Comfort in it or is it just

Southern Comfort brand? I don't know. All I know is Southern Comfort. I didn't even ID when I got it so maybe it's non-alcoholic. Southern Comfort I know is Southern Comfort. I didn't need an ID when I got it, so. Maybe it's non-alcoholic. Southern Comfort, I love Southern Comfort. I grew up drinking it from a... When you were 21. When I was 21, I grew up.

I was just a small 21 year old boy. But Southern Comfort is not legally considered whiskey. It's whiskey with like a Y at the end, or is it EY? No, no, no, not that. That has to do with if you're in Scotland or not. That's the difference in the spelling of whiskey. No, it like legally it's a whiskey flavored spirit. It's so good.

And so it's effectively whiskey flavored vodka, which I think is really funny. Bomb. Soco. We love it. We love Soco to death. I've never had their eggnog, but yeah, drinking like a little bit of liquored up eggnog as like a nightcap. It's a good time. It's a good time. After you're already a little bit, a little bit slippy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fun. Just, it's like having a white Russian. You just can't vomit

You know, just make sure you don't vomit eggnog cuz that's gross. I am craving a big slice of pizza and an ice cold Pepsi for lunch today. Nicole What if I told you you have the power to make that happen? I do? Yeah And you know how I know that cuz you're real real smart That's one of the reasons the other reason is that I had the same dream that you had except This is a couple days ago We basically live parallel lives But I was craving an ice-cold Pepsi and a big old slice of pizza and I was at the airport and I was coming back

To LA and so I was like really needed some food to get me through that last leg of the journey And I was on the plane I opened my pizza and the flight attendant came by and I got the free chips and I got an ice cold Pepsi zero sugar. And I will never forget this borderline spiritual experience of eating that spicy from the pepperoni salty, chewy pizza, going to the crispy chips, and then resetting my palette with ice cold, refreshing Pepsi zero sugar, that perfect amount of acid to just cut through all that fat in your palate. And then back to the chewy pizza, crispy chip, refreshing Pepsi, chewy pizza, crispy chip, refreshing Pepsi Zero Sugar, that perfect amount of acid to just cut through all that fat in your palate.

And then back to the chewy pizza, crispy chip, refreshing Pepsi, chewy pizza, crispy chip, refreshing Pepsi, and it made the flight so, so much better. My lunch was absolutely saved. I love story time with you, Josh. It's my favorite. But moral of the story is Pepsi makes your food taste better. Everybody knows that. So grab a Pepsi Zero Sugar for your next meal as food deserves Pepsi.

I'm Anna Garcia with True Crime News, the podcast. Every crime tells a story, every story demands justice. True Crime News, the podcast covers breaking crimes, investigating high profile and under the radar cases. Every week we dive beyond the headlines, exploring the effects of violent crimes on victims and search for justice. We hope you join us as your weekly source for true crime news. Listen to and follow True Crime News, the podcast on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Minced meat pie. What?

Minced meat pie. Do you eat that? Minced meat pie. I… Is there actual… but there's no actual meat in mincemeat pie. I'm glad you asked. So there used to be... I didn't ask, I qualified. There used to be mincemeat in mincemeat pie. Yeah, like millions of years ago. Yeah, actually yes, because again, like can't stress this enough, back in the day they didn't have like Taco Bell sauce packets in the drawer to season up your meat. All they had was like fruit and nuts. And alcohol. There weren't tomatoes, there weren't chilies, you know, when all this had was like fruit and nuts and alcohol there weren't tomatoes

There weren't chilies, you know when all this stuff was invented literally goes back to the 1300s like they were there's so much fruit meat I like but we love fruit meat. We love fruit me prunes in our in our brisket. Yeah Yeah, I entirely agree with that a lot of North African food and so fruit meat is really good And so this was basically a fruit meat pie, but then eventually people Puritans got disgusted by the idea of like half fruit half meat those damn Puritans I'm saying so they took the the meat out of the minced meat pie so now it is just a bunch of like like warm spices and currants and other things baked into a crust and I

Love it. What don't I love? What don't I love? Are there still Puritans today? Like do people practice Puritanism? I think, was Puritan like more of a kind of blanket term for actual religious denominations? Are Quakers Puritans? Quakers certainly still exist. I don't think all Quakers are Puritan.

Meggie, do you know this? You went to schools. Meggie went to school. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think Puritanism was like an actual doctrine. I think it was more of like a blanket statement given to- Like the enlightenment was just a time. Maybe, I don't know, man.

I don't know. I don't know. Sorry, I didn't mean to confuse you, but I will never eat a mincemeat pie. Hell no. Ew. That's what they want. They want you to be negative.

Pavlovas? Oh, I love a, hold on, hold on. Where are we? We're in Australia now? Australia, yeah. This is a comment Australian. I love Pavlovas. I really like the passion fruit they put on top. And then it's fun because it's like a baked marshmallow and then you put whipped cream on the top. And it's named after a ballerina named Anna Pavlova. and it's really good. Did you like that? Little people only know Sydney and Melbourne accents, but I'm from Tasmania and we love Pavlovas up here.

Pavlovas. Then you go down to Alice Springs and you're more like here. Now you sound like you're from South Africa. I'm so sorry to all our Australian fans. Yeah, sorry. The three of you that are left, I apologize. I think pavlovas, I know a lot of people that don't like pavlovas. I love pavlovas.

I think they are maybe the greatest dessert of all time. They're just fluffy. It's a wet meringue. It's a wet meringue. It's a fluffy, wet meringue and the textures are so glorious. There's three different textures of meringues. You get like the American lemon meringue pie, which is just kind of torched, a little bit marshmellowy.

Fluffy. Fluffy. Then you get like a baked French meringue that's which is just kind of torched a little bit marshmallow-y. Fluffy. Fluffy. Then you get like a baked French meringue that's just like... Like a dacquoise. Is that what a... Dacquoise. Dacquoise. Is a dacquoise meringue?

Yeah. I thought a dacquoise was a pastry cream. No. What is a dacquoise? A dacquoise is like a disk that's put within like a fancy, like not entremont, but like it's a dacquoise is like a disk of meringue that you put inside of like a fancy like not entremont but like it's a daqua is like a disk of meringue That you put inside of like a fancy cake I'm correct. Well, no, but a daqua is a cake that has meringue in it. Okay

Anyways, so the thing you're describing is a meringue. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, correct anyways, so Then there's like the pavlova meringue which to me a perfect pavlova meringue It's like it's it's that equal parts like crispy and then still a little wet and then with like a berry sauce on it. Pavlovas absolutely rip. Pavlovas are delicious. Panettone.

We need to find something that, panettone. This is the first thing I'll say bad things about. I love, we already talked about this. I love panettone. Don't like panettone. I love panettone and I will always love panettone. I think when I say things are boring, I think the thing that I don't love,

a thing that I don't love across every culture is just kind of like a lightly seasoned or lightly sweetened crusty bread. I live off of lightly sweetened breads. Are you dipping the panettone in a drink? You're just nauseous? Well, let me tell you. So growing up, there used to be a sweet bread that my mom used to buy and it was just a

sweetened like loaf of bread and it was phenomenal. And then panettone is just a step above that because it has nuts and fruits and chocolate in there. So I love sweet breads almost like like pan dulces. Like I love that stuff. Like I love a good pan. Like I love a good concha. I love a good pan dulce. Like, I love that stuff. Like, I love a good pan. Like, I love a good concha. I love a good pan dulce.

I don't love… I've never loved con… I only love conchas if I have a big-ass thing of café de olla next to me. I'm the op… No, I can eat it raw. And then I like it, but I'm dipping… I'm like… I'm using the concha as like a French dip for the coffee.

I see. No, no. See, I love sweet breads. And this is why I love panettone. Yeah, panettone is very similar to like a… Like, concha. It's that texture. Yeah.

There's a lot of pan dulces that I do love, but it's always like the empanada de piña. I think it has a lot to do with your personality, what pan dulce you pick from like the wall of pan dulces. Yeah. I always get the buttered bread. You know the sweet bread that's smothered in butter and sugar on top? That is the sweet bread. Speaking of Mexican holiday traditions. Okay.

It's tamale season. I was gonna say candy cane. It's tamale. Yeah. I guess people in Mexico probably eat candy canes. I don't know. But I would say tamales and there is a somewhat divisive tamale case here. Oh, interesting. I would say tamales dulces. Oh, okay. We're talking about like the...

The strawberry ones. The tamales de fresa, the pina. There's one that's just got the raisins in it. But dessert tamales, and they will just like add food dye to the masa. It's bomb. The art of... It's one of my favorite things. It's almost to me, it's like getting a blueberry bagel with strawberry cream cheese. Exactly.

I'm like, I know my people don't respect that, but also like as a Jew, I'm like, I enjoy this. I like the chewy, sugary mess. I love dessert tamales. They're one of my favorite things. I get them at Bayereth all the time. That is a perfect one-to-one. Tamales are... So like bagels are to us is like tamales and...

I get it. Look at us bridging the cultural gaps here, man. I love the sweet... Have you ever had a sweet corn tamale? Yeah, that is probably my actual favorite tamale at all times. With condensed milk on it? Yeah. Oh, that's good. It's been a long time since I've had a tamale. What else? Speaking of which, I love candy canes.

I just don't like the shape because you can fashion it into a weapon. It's called a peppermint, dog. You just want to eat it. You're saying you It's called a peppermint, dog. Huh? You just want to eat it. You're saying you want to eat a peppermint. Have you ever had the soft peppermints? What are you talking about? You're talking about the buttery ones?

Buttery ones? Yeah. Yeah, those are great. I just eat those and I just can't do this. What is my deep, like, intense obsession with buttermints? What is it? It's like texturally, like, there's nothing like it. It's like eating a packing peanut, but you won't get sick and die from it

You know what I mean? No, that's circus peanuts. No, I have a circus peanut. Circus peanuts are the best candy They taste like they taste like ass I love it ass was the best flavor Nicole bad they had before they started manufacturing like blue raspberry and all the Blue raspberry and all the candy flavors. It was bananas, gas, leave an ass. I hate circus peanuts, bro. Those are nasty. Candy canes are the worst design food. You know what I hate? I hate the modern candy canes. The hell is the modern candy cane?

The sriracha candy cane, the pickle candy cane, the yada yada yada. It's all they have. All they have is the gimmick. Nobody wants an organic candy cane. It's because the frickin' shape. They can't do anything else but make that shape. What's the shape? It's a shepherd's cane. Is it religious? Because yeah, definitely. Definitely. A lot of the stuff is religious. Yeah, I think it's the shepherd's cane because Jesus is known as Agnes Day, the Lamb of God. Am I like making all this up?

Because I was thinking they did it to hang off of like the filigree on the tree well So the tree we know where the symbol the tree comes from right? I cut okay. Let me let me take a wild yes The trees from paganism yeah hundred percent yeah, and it's dancing around the tree Yeah, and the tree represents you tree the penis of God not the penis of the penis of earth Yeah, it's like but it's like fertility of earth. I'm not like a peanut like I'm saying It's like phallic Yeah, it's like, but it's like fertility. The tree is the penis of Earth? Not like a penis, like I'm saying it's like phallic. Yeah, of course like every... What? Every tree in history or ritual was just a phallic symbol, right?

That's just how life went for 200,000 years. Can we corroborate this with any... Yeah, Meggie, can you please Google this? I feel like Joe Rogan asking about the ancient Sumerian tablets with the alien drawings on it right now, but please Google. So you mean to tell me like like Arbor Day is like Penis Day? I know Arbor Day is not penis day. Arbor Day is pub day. Arbor can also mean butt, you know like like I was gonna say maypole is the maypole just dancing around the maypole just like penis penis Yeah, yeah, well, it's not

Maggie just googled penis Christmas tree. Well, okay Nicole you entertain them all. I said is Christmas tree penis. I don't think Christmas tree is penis. I don't think that. Rockin' around the penis tree. Evergreen symbolized

life in the winter and the return of the sun. But like yeah, that's dude, it was all as phallic man. Are you's, dude, it was all this phallic, man. Are you sure? No, not at all. What kind of misinformation are you spitting? What does the candy cane come from? We're too Jewish to understand this.

We know all about what a menorah means. You know, I tell you all about the menorah. We need a righteous Gentile in the house. Someone get Tali in here. I don't know, man, I don't know. But I will say this, I have always wanted to decorate a Christmas tree and I did it once and let me tell you, very traumatizing. Yeah? What happened to you? You know, well this is when I dated an Irish Catholic guy and his mom like opened up the

ornaments and immediately started crying because like she went deep into like her nostalgia and like her family and she was just crying and just Making the tree look pretty now just sitting there like this is fun. This is new for me. It was weird. It was a dark time Dark time in my life. I'm on a Christian blog right now And we're we're looking at the origins of the candy cane some say it's a J to represent the name of Jesus Just we know in Hebrew is Yahoshua or in modern... Josh. Josh. So, do have a holy name.

You do have a holy name. But where's the... I'm Miriam. Who's Miriam in the Torah? Miriam is Mary. So, Mary and Josh. We're Christian adjacent, roughly. We don't mean any offense. No, no, I'm saying- We're just trying to understand your customs and why you must eat the candies that are sharpened into shivs to celebrate your Lord on Christmas. You know what the best holiday food is?

Divisive Again. Divisive Again, Nicole. You? Divisive Never. Divisive Again. Never. It's all the ice cream flavors that come out. All the ice cream flavors that come out, they are the best.

Like rum raisin. Well, rum raisin is one of the best ice cream flavors. I love rum raisin. You know what I love? I love black, speaking of thrifty ice cream, you ever had black cherry thrift? Have I ever had black cherry thrift? That's my favorite. I think it's my favorite.

But have you ever had their, like, they come out with like a gingerbread? Any like gingerbread man? Gingerbread, that's the real answer for best. Oh, gingerbread is the best. That's the best in the world. But it can also be the worst. It can also be the worst. You know? You like a hard gingerbread or a, gingerbread, that's the real answer for best. Oh, gingerbread is the best. That's the best in the world. But it can also be the worst. It can also be the worst.

You know? You like a hard gingerbread or a soft gingerbread? Hard. Hard. Like a cookie? I want a ginger snap. Oh, really? I like gingerbread that's cooked in a loaf pan that you slice and is soft and gorgeous.

That's also good. There's almost no... When you said gingerbread can be bad, I agreed with you because I didn't want to fight, but I don't think I've ever had a bad gingerbread. Why don't you want to fight? Unless it's like, here's the problem. Who are you? Can I? Shutting the laptop.

The problem with gingerbread, this is where it gets bad. This is where it gets bad. Gumdrops also awful. Worst Christmas thing in the world. They steal your crowns out of your mouth. They steal them. They steal them. The little gumdrop goblins that come out.

Most gingerbread in America is not sold as food, it's sold as construction supplies. Yes, it is decor. That's some bullshit. What? That is bullshit. Why are you mad about it? That you should make a good tasting gingerbread for me to eat, not a bad tasting gingerbread for a child to play Legos with.

Let him make a Lego house, let me eat the good gingerbread. Get your kids hands on my gingerbread. Are you okay? Frosting like mortar, just give me good frosting and good gingerbread. That's all I ask. It is, that is like legitimately my favorite sweet treat is a ginger cookie. Molasses ginger cookie. You know this about me. Okay, but a ginger cookie is different than a gingerbread house. Because they had to construct the cookies to be bricks! Okay, yeah! And walls! What do you want from them? Because they had to construct the cookies to be bricks. Okay. Yeah and walls

What do you want from them make a gingerbread? Gingerbread skateboard that way you can just make circular good gingerbread cookies to be wheels And then I can eat it and have a good time Green bean casserole I didn't feel that it I don't I have no feelings towards it Oh zero feelings towards oh god the opposite of loves not hated is antipathy I have antipathy towards green bean castrols, and I'm tired of them. I love it. I want to feelings towards it. Zero feelings towards it. Oh God, the opposite of love is not hated is antipathy. I have antipathy towards green bean castrols and I'm tired of them. I love it, I wanna modernize it. I was thinking about doing that for my Thanksgiving.

I don't think you need to modernize it. I don't know, could modernize it. You don't need to. What are you gonna do to it? What are you gonna do to it? I was thinking about doing like a dynamite. Like a mayonnaise kind of dynamite. Oh, sounds so dumb.

I know, it really is. Well, on that note, happy holidays. Happy holidays from your favorite podcasters that that love you and Don't love each other. I'm again. I'm really sorry if we did any like hardcore sacrilege during this We're just trying I don't think we did we're just trying to understand understand the culture and you know I think that's really are you gonna have a Christmas tree in your house? Julia got we'll talk Yeah, we're gonna do something my brother has you going to have a Christmas tree in your house? Julia got... We'll talk.

A Hanukkah bush? We'll talk. Yeah, we're going to do something. My brother has a Christmas tree with a star of David on top. Okay. A Hanukkah bush. Hanukkah bush. Hanukkah bush.

I've been growing up my Hanukkah bush for the last six months. Happy Arbor Day! You've always wanted to be part of something bigger than yourself. You live for experience and lead by example. You want the most out of life and realize what you're looking for is already in you. This is for you. The Canadian Armed Forces. A message from the Government of Canada. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on Now. Dine in only until 11 a.m.

Before we get to your casserole opinions, we want to read your opinions about us. That's right, it's everyone's fourth favorite segment and it has dropped from third after the introduction of trivia to now fourth. This is Review a Review. This is Sam underscore wise XC, which I believe stands for cross country.

Subject, thanks I love it, five stars. Listen while running. Oh, you're right. You're right. Yep. Wow, okay. I don't know if this is Sam saying that they listen to it while running.

I believe so. Well, this could be sort of an invocation to the masses of you should listen while running. If I were to run, I don't run. But if I were to run, I would imagine I would listen to something with like 140 BPM. Some people do that. But sometimes I find myself when I'm doing cardio, I really prefer listening to something with a narrative, with a podcast, something where I can completely immerse

and forget that I am running. When I'm lifting, I need to listen to heavy music because then I'm like, that locks you in. But for me, yeah, cardio, I do a lot of zone two cardio. I don't know what zone two cardio is. 135, 140. Oh, is that like the scale where it's like green and then orange and then red?

Yeah, yeah, so this is almost like if you're doing like a list cardio Which is low-impact steady state which I've been doing a lot more of getting older. I used to do a lot more hit stuff a lot of Tabata style. Oh my god our flex style the tabata classes at Equinox Yeah, but yeah, no if it again is empty cardio, which is cross-country, you know, I what's it? What's your mileage you up to like, you know 80 hundred miles a week Sam Let me know what your mileage is like right now But I love that you listen to or while running. It's very cool. Makes me feel good I would like to listen to to techno and house when I run an EDM when we were talking about infected mushroom the other day

I used to run to the song that a song it was like we're gonna run run run to the city of the future Take what we can and bring it back home. So ridiculous. Yeah, and that was a good running song. Well, on that note. I'm gonna give this a five. That's a five. That's a perfect, perfect.

Proud of you for running. Proud of you for running. I hope you wrote that while running, and that's why it was so short. Written while running. Yeah, yeah. All right, Nicole. I heard what you and I had to say. Now it's time to find out whether the wacky is rattling out there in the universe.

It's time for a little segment we is Rattling Out There in the Universe. It's time for another segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. We do call it that. Before we get to that, Nicole, you brought up a good holiday food. Chestnuts. They're good. We like them. You brought up a good holiday food. Chestnuts! They're good. We like them. We like them.

Especially, I had chestnuts roasting over an open fire for the first time when I was in France. Uh-huh. France! The native scholar went, France! And what a good snack. What a treat. I had a lot of roasted chestnuts when I was in Japan, actually. Interesting.

Delicious. Chestnut, dude, a chestnut pastry cream is maybe my favorite flavor of dessert. There's like a weird savoriness. It's phenomenal. It is so good, man. Make chestnuts happen. I love chestnuts. Make them happen.

Ready to get to that first painting? Born ready. I'm Lindsay from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and growing up, we used to just take dry spaghetti noodles. Ready to get to that first painting? Born ready. I'm Lindsay from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. And growing up, we used to just take dry spaghetti noodles, like angel hair or whatever, and lick the end of it and dip it in the iced tea powder or lemonade powder. And it was awesome. Yeah, that's it.

Love the show. Thank you. Okay. This is like a weird, crazy, fun dip situation. Yeah, this is like what I imagine fun dip was in like 1838. Like the Dust Bowl. During the Dust Bowl, yeah. They're in the Dust Bowl.

They need the children to have a fun treat so they stay quiet in church while we pray for God to end the ravages on our land. Yes. And they would make iced tea powder. Yeah, or like some sort of drink. Yeah, but it probably had like cyanide in it or something. Yeah. And they were like, oh, a little bit of cyanide's good. It stops the farmers from cramping.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you would dip it in that. That's what that sounds like. That's yeah, it sounds like dust bowl pandemic. Yeah. Sad food, which I understand why you like it. Also shout out Lehigh Valley, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Got a bunch of cousins up in the Bethlehem and Mesa area.

Jesus was born in Bethlehem, right? Sure was. Well, well, well, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I believe, I think I'm right about this. I think they do a ton of reenactments of the manger scene. Oh, like nativity scenes. Nativity scenes. I love nativity scenes.

I've never, I don't think I've been to one. I've been to one. But the majority of the camels in America are owned by the Amish folks. Okay. And their main industry is renting them out for Nativity scenes. That's beautiful. Up in that area which I think is hilarious. And then a Saudi farmer came there to try and start a camel milk business. Oh yeah. Desert Acres is that what it was called? was maybe maybe yeah, so anyways shout out to Bethlehem and the Lehigh Valley Greater area okay. I just want tangent. I recently saw the South Park episode the

The not the Scientology one the Mormon one It was really funny That's all I wanted to say Mormon Christmas dishes? I don't know, probably like spaghetti pie? Tacos? A lot of potatoes and cheese. Probably funeral potatoes. Maggie, next opinion.

I think those are for funerals. I think Christmas potatoes are. Hash brown quiche, Utah scones, green jello. Oh jello, jello, jello. Josh and Carl, me name Gronk from Wood. Me have no big food. Me take bug, small bug, squish. You put bug on meat, cook meat in fire.

Interesting. Meat tastes like bug. Yeah? It good, you try? I try. Love show. That was awesome. I love that our fans have the ability to be themselves and be a little silly and be a little goofy.

Do you know how awesome it is that people have the, like, comfort and ability to do that? Like, and have us listen to it on like a public show? That's beautiful. I actually have a couple cousins out in wood and so Cronk from what just shout out to the general wood area and what I think they've done with Meat and fire is great. I'm really glad about the bug. Well heard about the bug I want to get to the bug later cuz your cousins told you about the bug

I just told me about the bug the bug It's not I'm not saying it's common to take away from your specialist, but no that is something I developed in the area It's like the Altoona style pizza where they put the American cheese on it. Bug meat fire. Bug meat fire But I will say that Gronk Developed a fire because that's a great way to kill disease. Gronk themselves? Well not themselves, but fire in wood Typically they just put bug on meat raw. Bug on meat raw. No! Because bug flavor meat, we know that, right? Yeah. Bug squish flavor meat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the fact that Gronk used fire, I think that's actually the most significant innovation, because a lot of people die of E. coli in wood. And so the development of fire at Gronk, I think that was a really spectacular move by you, and I hope it catches on in the greater wood area What he said my uncle taught at wood community college What's he see WCC? He thought squish. Oh, well apparently grunt I think maybe he took valedictorian of squish Currently on a date having a debate is case. Oh, it's all right. I think case

Oh, it's a thought but but no it's just cheese. They're on a date. Queso is like the actual dip. No it's a sauce. Please answer this at some point. Thank you bye. Oh my gosh Josh I love that our fans have the ability to call us when they're on a date. Um is queso a sauce? Yes. Yes. Straight up it is a cheese sauce that is when you say queso when you say capital Q queso you're not referring to the one that use the term in the Philippines as well But you are not referring to the Spanish word for cheese. You're referring to Chile con queso Which queso dip? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah a dip is a sauce. What a dip is a sauce. I think it can depend but I

think queso is like Hmm now I'm second-guessing because if you were to make like a cream cheese dip that has but queso is like, hmm, now I'm second guessing. Cause if you were to make like a cream cheese dip that has, but queso when it's hot, it has a saucy consistency necessarily. Even when it cools down and it turns more solid, so does gravy if it's made properly. That doesn't mean that like gravy is still not a sauce.

But could you use the function of saucing something with a dip? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Like a cream cheese, like let's just say holiday season, cranberry dip with the cream cheese at the bottom and the cranberries on top. You could use that as a sauce because it is, it's not liquid, but it is moistening the food

that you are eating. Well, let's look at like a spinach artichoke dip. That's, that could be used as a sauce. But that would be tough to call that a sauce, right? Do you think so? Yes, but it could be, the function of it can be used as a sauce, right? Pasta, like a plate of pasta,

you put spinach artichoke dip on it, you mix it up. Yeah, you're right. But I guess we would never call that spinach artichoke sauce, right, we pretty explicitly call it spinach artichoke dip. Yes. Keso, you are primarily dipping things into it. You can also pour it on stuff.

That's what I'm thinking. If you have a plate of nachos... This pourability and viscosity, what makes something a sauce or a dip? I don't think necessarily. I think it might come down to function. Well, I think about ranch a lot, right? Ranch dip versus ranch dressing. Oh, those are two different things?

A ranch dip will generally have a like heavier sour cream base and it's thicker. Oh wow, I never thought about this like that. But I would argue that queso is a sauce masquerading as a dip, whereas spinach artichoke is a dip that can masquerade as a sauce. Okay, pleasure doing business with you. Thank you so much. Enjoy the date. Yeah, I hope you kissed I Like when dates keys do the old back alley kiss take him out back to the alley

Why kiss a good back alley kiss you know what alley kisses like an alley behind the bar? No, I made out in an alley behind a bar It's like I made out in an alley. That's like one of the best makeouts, dude. No. The best makeout is in the corner of a bar. And everybody's watching. No, don't do it in the bar. Go to the alley where respectable folks go.

But seedy things happen in an alley. When you go to the alley, that implies that more will happen. No. I've never done... No, more has never happened in the alley for me. You just want to time alone and talk. But then like you're like a fence and there's like a mean dog at the fence and it's just like, ah, ah, ah.

You're really setting the scene, buddy. Big alley guy. What's up, Josh and Nicole? My opinion is that peanut butter is the worst nut butter out of all. Whoa, whoa. You take any nut butter and you put it against peanut butter, the other nut butter is winning. I do think peanut butter tastes good, but if you've had any other peanut butter, any other nut butter, it's better.

Name them. And if you want a especially delicious one, go to Costco, pick up the mixed nut butter next to all the peanut butter. I got this. You've got cashews, almonds, chia seeds, flaxseed, pumpkin seeds. Delicious. But yeah, peanut butter is the bottom ranked. Okay, okay.

You know what? You know what? That's rude of you to say because there are probably peanuts in the mixed nut butter. That's what I'm thinking. So you're just like hating on the nut for no reason. I love peanut butter. I prefer almond butter. Pistachio butter is great.

Cashew butter is fine. Do you want to rank all the nut butters right now? Do you want to do that right now? Have we not done a whole podcast about that? I don't remember. It's hard to remember all the things we've done. I'm trying to find the ingredients list of this thing, but it's so hard to find.

I don't... Yeah, there are no peanuts in in it and they probably do that for peanut allergies. Oh, there's no peanuts in this. I don't believe so. Oh, it says almonds, cashews, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, flax seeds. Yeah, there's no peanut probably for allergies. Can I tell you what I think the the issue is here is that I don't think it's that other nut butters are better than peanut butter. I think if you're a company in 2024 making other nut butters, you're probably doing it better than the legacy peanut butter companies. Sure.

Right? But I mean, I love Jif, but it is like, yeah, it has that that ultra kind of process, ultra smooth taste. So if you're something that wants more than that. Laura Scudders. Oh, my God, Laura Scudders. I love Laura Scudders peanut butter. No, there's a brand called Wild Friends that made this like chocolate coconut peanut butter and it was still a little

chunky and had the texture. I think give peanuts a chance but give more like modern peanut butters a chance. I think they have the best texture to butter. Yeah. I think like a lot of almond butter, cashews I think do a good job too. But like I've had like raw walnut butter and it just like sucks. Not good. I've had Brazil nut butter. I've reached the ends of the earth for pure nut butters. I think what you want, I think what you want is a curation. Cause you're talking about this Nutso 7 nut butter.

Yeah I think they just want an all around nut butter. But they're putting a lot of different things in there. You get the f things in there. You get the flax in there. That's like emulsifying it. It's probably really good for you. It's probably really good. Have you ever had the Earth Balance creamy peanut butter with coconut oil?

No, it's nice. Oh my god. It literally is like fudge. It's one of the most delicious nut butter spreads I've ever had in my life. I love nut butters. Pistachio butter? Yum! So expensive. Wild Friends out of business. I'm sorry. Dude, Wild Friends. That sucks. I'm sorry.

You are far and away my favorite brand. So I guess I'm a free agent now. And I am Giacchile and Erica. I would tell people to try One Trick Pony peanut butter. That's some of the best peanut butter I've had the textures phenomenal and it's salted to perfection. I love it very much. Can we stop talking about nut butters? Dude, this is bumming me out so much. I'm sorry, man. They were just like two friends. Oh Man, what do you want to tell them? You want to tell something? Maybe they're watching

Yeah, I want I want you to know that you may, at a time in my life when I really needed comfort during the COVID shutdown, I remember I would just like, I would make myself a peanut butter, banana, honey, or peanut butter and jelly sandwich every single day. And I got really into trying all of the peanut butters that I could find in the store.

And that was something that kept me going. Every single day, I was like, I can't wait to eat my little comfort food. And then I bought Wild Friends peanut butter, and I had several different varieties that you had, and they were all good, but some of them were really, really memorable. And I look back at that very fondly in my life. Sorry, I crashed. That's okay. Yeah, Wild Friends, RIP.

Didn't think I was going to get emotional. Yeah, wild friends, RIP. Didn't think I was gonna get emotional. Hey, this is Matt from Southeast PA. The chicken pot pie that you buy in the store is not chicken pot pie, it is a chicken pie. Chicken pot pie is made in a pot with broth, chicken, potatoes, carrots, and two by two flat egg noodles. Now you might think to yourself, that's what my crazy uncle calls chicken and dumplings.

Well, he's wrong too. Chicken and dumplings is a chicken stew with a biscuity leavened dough dropped on top to cook in the boiling water. Thank you. Okay, there's a lot going on here. This is, this man's correct. Oh, okay.

This man's correct. This man's correct. This is a Pennsylvania Dutch thing. Well, it always is. I know, it's always a Pennsylvania Dutch thing. What are we going to do about them when they always have these crazy wackadoodle ideas that are the antithesis of what they are, and then we all got to suffer for it? Come on, Pennsylvania Dutch people.

No, but he's right. When you get the banquet chicken pot pie There's no pot. It's just a chicken pie. It probably was at one point. It's just a chicken pie, but I'm saying no the Pennsylvania Dutch So what this looks like is like he's saying chicken and dumplings But then if you have southern chicken and dumplings, you're like those aren't dumplings. Those are noodles what this is. This is Nicole This is pie dough effectively that is cooked in a pot. This is a pot pie. This is not a pie. You are correct. I'm not going to like stop saying, one, when do I talk about chicken pie?

Pie is only here. Only here. It's not a food I think about very often, though I kind of want to make one now. I really want to eat chicken and dumplings right now, actually. The fluffy biscuit topped one. And chicken and waffles? That's chicken in a cream sauce poured on a waffle. That's what I grew up with.

Oh yeah, you had Pennsylvania Dutch chicken and waffles. Yeah, and everyone thinks they're disgusting and I love them. The picture, it's not a very beautiful food. Yeah, we need more good stock images for Pennsylvania Dutch, I'd say food in general. My problem is I don't have a strong opinion on this. I'm glad you do.

I do love all combinations of soupy, brothy, chickeny, vegetabley, doughy stuff. So I'm just happy to eat it whenever it's in front of me. If I have a bowl of chicken and dumplings, I'm a happy girl. Or a chicken pot pie. Or chicken soup. I just love it all because I believe that happiness is in the eye of the bowl holder. Oh, I'm so endearing and adorable. That was so good, Nicole. Thank you so much.

I think that really shows your growth. It's not a podcast, it's not a friend, but it's just a person. A person? Yeah, that's incredible. These stock photos are so, they're so bad. Let me see. Can you flip your lip? Tell we need to oh that looks abhorrent. We need to make a bit I know someone that got rich Making a stock photo website of marijuana plants you want to do that but for chicken for all

Pennsylvania Dutch because we don't want to okay all Pennsylvania Dutch. Do you want me to be a part of this? I Already shook your hand once during the pod because we don't want to... Okay. Offense of any Dutch. Do you want me to be a part of this? I already shook your hand once. 50-50? I already shook your hand once during the pod and that's enough touching. We're gonna be rolling in the dough. The pie dough.

God, on that note, we are so effing back, baby. On that note, thank you all so much for stopping by Hot Dog and the Sandwich. We got audio only episodes every Wednesday and a video version here on YouTube on Sunday. This is script Nicole wrote, but this one will not have a video version. We had to give our editors a wee break. You know what it is.

So our editors have to take a wee. No, no. And we are- No, I tried, I tried my best to say this in a way you would say and this is how I would say it if I were you. Do an imitation of it, do an imitation. And on that note, thank you for listening to Hot Dog is a Sandwich. We got new audio only episodes every Wednesday

and a video version here on YouTube every Sunday. But, but, but, this one will not have a video version. We had to give our editors a wee break. You know what it is. That's a pretty good name, okay. If you wanna be featured on opinions like Castrol's, give us a ring and leave a quick message at 888-DAGPOD-1, I'm Corky Romano.

You sound like Corky Romano to me. Who's Corky Romano? Who's Corky Romano? Chris Catan, SNL Classic, you guys want some cookies? I sound like Chris Catan to you? Well, Chris Catan, I think, is doing an imitation of you. It's not his natural voice. Happy holidays, we'll see you next time.