A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Which Restaurants Have the Best Free Bread?

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Today, Josh and Nicole are devouring everyone's favorite thing at chain restaurants, the free bread! Which one has the best bite? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video versi...on of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:35 The Hot Honey McRisbee is so back at McDonald's. With juicy 100% Canadian-raised seasoned chicken, shredded lettuce, crispy jalapenos, and that completely craveable hot honey sauce, it's a sweet heat repeat you don't want to miss. Get your Hot Honey McCrispy today. Available for a limited time only at McDonald's. What's the best kind of bread? Sourdough, rye, focaccia?
Starting point is 00:00:58 Free. Huh? Free bread. Free bread is best bread. This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:01:10 A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherr. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And Nicole, today we are discussing... Bread! ...a dwindling American export.
Starting point is 00:01:26 This is something that millennials have killed They really have. Among many things. Way to go millennials. Way to go. The free bread at chain restaurants. It's the best part about chain restaurants. It's the best part about chain restaurants. It's the best part about going to any restaurant
Starting point is 00:01:40 is getting the free bread plate and now you go to any new independently owned restaurant, especially place a little higher end, and they got the free bread. The problem is it ain't free. The free bread costs eight to $12. Bread service is what they call it. Bread service. You get your pop over rolls, but no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:01:55 These are the last bastions of American greatness and excess. That's right. That they have so much abundance that they just give you their food for free. It's such a nice thing to do. It's a nice thing to do. It genuinely is. From a hospitality standpoint, it makes you feel loved and welcomed. The other ironic part about all this is they filed for bankruptcy, they filed for bankruptcy. A lot of these places are struggling right now. So now we need to reignite the fire behind all these chain restaurants and their free bread, Nicole. I'm ready.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Giving them the publicity that they deserve. I mean, this is just a question that I've always wanted to answer myself because I love bread and I love free bread. So why not see who has the best free bread available? And a lot of people have very strong opinions about this. They really do. They really, really do. They're very passionate about certain kinds of free breads that we have in front of us at our table.
Starting point is 00:02:50 We have a lot of breads in front of us. Should we just jump into it and get going? Do you have any opinions about these off the bat? Um, yes. I am so excited to specifically dive into the Wood Ranch bread because it's almost like, have you ever seen those self-saucing cakes? Have you ever heard? Wood ranch free bread is like a self-saucing cake
Starting point is 00:03:10 because it's dunked in the most luxurious but ludicrously green herb butter ever and it's so spongy and it soaks it all up and when you bite into it, it's like a chamois of garlic butter margarine herb sauce. It truly is, it looks dry on the outside, it's like a toad, garlic butter margarine herb sauce. It truly is. It looks dry on the outside. It's like a toad.
Starting point is 00:03:27 It absorbs moisture through its skin. It's so toady. My money here, I think olive garden breadsticks may be like the most overrated bread product of all time. God bless them. Love the old garden. They're so shiny though. They're so shiny.
Starting point is 00:03:40 We love that. Red lobsters, Cheddar Bay biscuits. Are biscuits bread? Biscuits are defined as a quick bread, Nicole. But as you see, all of these here are yeasted bread. So this is different, but it is a bread product that they place on your table for free. It deserves a spot here.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Right, right, right, correct. Also, the honorable mention, the Outback bread. I love how big and dark it is. You know what I mean? Gurthy too. It's just so, you know, whenever you like eat there, they like stick a huge knife in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:13 And they wouldn't give us the knife. And I didn't want to put a knife out on the table. Have you seen those twins? It's such a... Have you seen those twins that were... Do you know what I'm talking about? The twin, Becky knows the twin interview where it's two twins talking about how their mom got carjacked. I saw it on the timeline and I decided not to click on it. Oh, it's so good.
Starting point is 00:04:34 They're very coordinated and very Australian. Very Australian. Incredible. We were in cleaning our birds and we heard this big bang. We said, oh no, another car accident. And one guy, he was up there with our mum and he went up there and he was coming back down towards us and he goes, run, he's got a gun. So we have a bunch of reds.
Starting point is 00:05:03 We have red from California Pizza Kitchen, we have Wood Ranch, we have Texas Roadhouse, we have Outback, we have Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and we have Cheesecake Factory. Sorry if we missed your favorite. Comment your favorites down below and comment how much you hate us and think that we're doing dereliction of
Starting point is 00:05:25 duty. Hey! No I'm saying we need to get taken down a peg. I don't need to be confident. Honey I've been taken down plenty I don't need any more of it. Where do you want to start? Let's start with the Cheddar Bay biscuits. CBB! CBB! I don't put any additional butter on my Cheddar Bay biscuits. Give me a butter. Okay Nicole's butter in her biscuit, I'm butter in her biscuit too. Not like that. Why would you say that? Has anyone been assigned to butter your muffin?
Starting point is 00:05:53 Okay. Yum. The Cheddar Bay Biscuit from Red Lobster, it has this beautiful golden hue. You can smell it more than any other bread at this table. There's little chunks of bright orange cheddar cheese. There's flecks of green. Chunks of bright orange, flecks of green. That's what I want in my food. Sounds like a Sting song from the 90s.
Starting point is 00:06:14 After one bite, I can tell you this is not being beaten. No, you can't say that. You can't say that. You know what I like about this biscuit, though? It's not as baking soda, baking powder heavy as other biscuits, which I appreciate. Cause sometimes whenever you bite into biscuits, they are, you can taste the leavening agent so strongly, but because of the cheddar and the green flecks in there, you can barely taste it.
Starting point is 00:06:35 How often do you make biscuits? I never make biscuits. You never make biscuits? Why would I make a biscuit? I don't have to make a biscuit. How do we work on a cooking show, dude? I've been doing a cooking show for like five and a half years. Can you put mine over there? Thank you. I don't need to make, you don't need to eat my biscuit. How do we work on a cooking show, dude? I've been doing a cooking show for like five and a half years. Can you put mine over there?
Starting point is 00:06:45 Thank you. I don't need to make, you don't need to eat my biscuit. Yeah, that was weird, but if there's food in my hand, I wanna put it in my mouth. I really do like the flavor of these though. Yeah, they're excellent seasoned. They're almost like, I wouldn't say almost too salty for a starter, but that's just gonna get you to drink
Starting point is 00:07:02 more like Captain Morgan, Blue Cur Curacao Fish Bowl, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, order another glass of their $7 House White. I do detect a film. Now is that film from the extraneous butter I put on there or is that from the shellac margarine on top with the bay seasoning? That is correct, Nicole. That is the shellac margarine coating your palate.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Yeah, you eat this biscuit. We're talking about the wood ranch rolls exuding oil. No, these biscuits are filled with grease. They are. But it's solid grease. It's hydrogenated vegetable oil for sure. Don't think you're using real butter. Which I like.
Starting point is 00:07:35 It tastes good. Can I tell you why? Because it melts on contact with the heat of your mouth and it makes it more pleasant. It's like rubbing coconut oil in your hands to give your partner a massage, you know? What? That's not, that's sensual, that's not sexual, that's not inappropriate to say, you know? Give your partner a massage, like a nice end of day, not like a sexy one.
Starting point is 00:07:55 No, I get it, no, no, no. Massages are very important. And coconut oil's a good... It's non-combatogenic. See? It's expeller pressed. That's what I'm saying. We're talking about the same thing here. It's a drop biscuit right? You know the difference between a drop biscuit and a cut biscuit? Yeah yeah. Well I don't know they are mass producing these so how do
Starting point is 00:08:15 you know they're drop biscuits just because of their irregular shape? Yeah their irregular lumpy shape which makes you feel good. Well maybe they exude it out of a out of like a piping bag but I'm not I don't think it's dropped with a spoon. No, I think it's a robot spoon, though. I think it's a big old robot spoon scooping into the batter and going, pfft! Yeah, I think so too.
Starting point is 00:08:32 I think so too. God damn, it's so good. You love them that much, though? Yeah. How would, okay, like, what would you rate them, like, from one to ten? 9.3. I'm gonna give them an eight.
Starting point is 00:08:41 What? There's two, I think, I think, I think that a bread that is complimentary must be a little bit more bread-like. It is, it is a free, listen, I'm not complaining. It's free, it's beautiful, it's delicious, whatever. It's almost, like you said, it's too seasoned. It is, like this is a dish.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Yeah, this is like a food. This is a food, not a bread. You could just sit there and eat these with a side of shrimp scampi and you'd be good. They should make like shrimp sliders. They should. Chop the shrimp up. Chop like, take the worst shrimp. No, no, no, don't chop the shrimp. Like the ends of the shrimp. Oh, you mean the ones that people don't eat? Yeah, the ones that people don't eat. Take it off their plate. This is a way for all for Red Lobster to save money. Go, when you do the endless shrimp, I know this new CEO said he's killing that. He's doing great.
Starting point is 00:09:25 And when asked why, he said, because I can do math. Exactly. That's hilarious. That was funny. But you take the uneaten shrimp tails and you pop the little meats out, mix that with mayonnaise, put it back in the kitchen, sell cheddar bay biscuit shrimp salad sliders. I'd buy it. You know, my dad always taught me how to eat the meat off the tail of the shrimp at a buffet. He's like, this is how you get more bang for your buck.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Smart man. By eating the tail. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, there's meat in the tail, Nicole. God bless him. Okay. That averages out though to a composite score of 8.65. You did that in your head?
Starting point is 00:09:58 Yeah, pretty smart. Wow, so does a part. Eating Olive Garden breadstick. Okay, no, no. Speaking of- Split it with me and whoever gets the big- No, you have to start where I'm starting. And whoever gets the bigger piece has their wishes come true. Dang it.
Starting point is 00:10:10 I want a pony. Okay. By Ginuwine. Olive Garden Breadstick, also Lackard and Grease. And that's not all these breads. Only about half of them are Lackard and Grease. Some of these are just bread. Why does mine taste like gasoline?
Starting point is 00:10:25 It has a bitter note to it that I wasn't anticipating. Do you taste that bitterness? I wonder if they let, because there is a brushing of some sort of oil-like substance on it. I'm licking the breadstick. Nicole is licking the oily substance off the breadstick. There's something bitter about it.
Starting point is 00:10:42 She looks like a cat who has discovered a thing that they're curious about. And she's gone past the sniffing stage into the licking stage. My fingers are greasy already. This does taste weirdly bitter. Why is it bitter? Also, I'm like, normally there's, no, there's some... There's stuff on it.
Starting point is 00:10:59 There's normally like a gritty patina on top. A sprinkle, if you will. You know, like if you've freshly painted an outdoor wall, but like the wind. I've never painted an outdoor wall. But imagine you did, and the paint is still wet. I know, but imagine you're out there doing labor, you know, and you paint a wall,
Starting point is 00:11:15 but you're like near a sandbox, and the wind blows some sand onto the wet paint. That's the texture that's on top of the Olive Garden breadstick, you know? It does taste like unfermented yeast. I don't like it. It smells yeasty, like a fresh made dough, which is not what you want, because you want that yeast to actually ferment out.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Yeah. Again, I do think these are the most overrated bread product. I think they're fun, they're iconic, they are endless. Could you imagine them dipped in a marinara or alfredo though? Well see, now that's where we're talking. But that's for free.'s charged extra for that they charge I'm we're not they charge a lot for that. We're not we're not gonna do that to ourselves We're only we're all about free 99 here. Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:11:53 What I would do is get a side a ranch to dip these in. Oh, well, yeah You got listen when we eat the CPK when I have a frickin I have a frickin eulogy for the CPK Do you do you have like a nostalgic bread product of your youth that isn't represented here though? No, no, no, no, it was always CPK bread. I have two. One, I don't know if they're national or if they're regional, but it's called Coco's.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Coco's Diner. Did it have? Not to be confused with Carow's. Was Coco's logo brown and white and it had a border around it? Never went. Only saw. You used to go there all the time. That's a real boomer restaurant.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Kids know 100%. You used to go there with my boomer ass dad and he used to get like the, they had like a year round turkey gravy and stuffing plate and my dad would get that. And then he would always complain that there was gristle in the turkey. So they'd get it for free.
Starting point is 00:12:38 So they'd get it for free even though there wasn't. And sometimes, I mean, three, four employees, managers would be out here dissecting this turkey. Wow, they didn't believe him? Maybe going, I swear to God. It would have been easier if they just believed him. That's what I'm saying. And anyways.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Believe, believe Josh's dad. Don't, he was trying to scam you. But they had like a combo similar to Cheesecake Factory, like brown bread and white bread, but then they had this like garlic herb butter. It just basically tasted like ranch butter. And I used to just eat tablespoons of it before the chicken strips. And then another one, local chain Patton Oscars,
Starting point is 00:13:12 much better breadsticks than Olive Garden. I've never had either of those restaurants. Patton Oscars, man. Anybody that remembers Patton Oscars in Southern California? Patt and Oscars, not Patton Oscars. Correct, Patt and Oscars. That's what you're saying. In this economy, you can have both.
Starting point is 00:13:29 I'm gonna give these a five. Those are pretty brutal. I'm gonna give it a 4.5. They're not, what is that total? 4.75. You're so good at math. I am good at math. I did the SAT math once.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Meggie, has Josh always been good at math? Yes. Why are you asking Meggie about it? Why would she know better than you? Because she's like a third party, like she doesn't have any like skewed like, you know? Sure. Maggie, don't you like have a math degree? Computer science. Computer science?
Starting point is 00:13:55 Real bad at math though, but you're better. It's fine. Thank you. Can you record these for us so we can refer back to them? I am. Maggie's on top of it. Maggie, have you always been good at producing? No. Which one should we try next? Sucking Buzzfeed days. Buzzfeed era Meggie sucking. Let's go out back. I kind of want to save the cheesecake bag. I'm so excited. And I just can't haunt it? No is this. Are you about to lose control and you think you like it?
Starting point is 00:14:25 Oh my god, is this pumpernickel? Do they call it pumpernickel? I will say it's got the semolina on the bottom. I love that. This is dense, like it's dense and wet inside like a cake. I love me some Outback bread. Mmm, you know what it is? They put honey in this or sugar. Molasses maybe even. Oh my god. And it's so delectable. It makes such a soft crumb, but not a wet crumb.
Starting point is 00:14:52 This is a fantastic bread. I want to hollow this bread out and make like not, not like a good sandwich, but just like a deli meat ham Swiss and honey mustard sandwich on this. Dip it in the salted butter quote-unquote butter so good Excellent the whip the whip on the butter the crumb on the bread out back Do you think this fits the theme of the restaurant? I'm trying to think of like all the garden breadsticks that makes sense you dip it in the matana. Mm-hmm cheddar bay biscuits Maybe do they find a theme of a seafood restaurant? They're not like southern red lobster
Starting point is 00:15:29 I imagine when I think about going to like a seafood spot my brain goes to French bread more than biscuits Yeah, I don't know what kind of bread I'd want with my seafood spot. Yeah I mean if I'm getting like a garlicky shrimp, I want some like crusty bread. That's what. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what the French bread, that's where the French bread comes in. With Outback, I feel like they just created like what Australian food was. Like they didn't do any research. I feel like. 100%. Outback was started in, I believe Tampa, Florida, and none of the founders had ever been to Australia. Yeah. So they just kind of came up with whatever and they're like, yeah, this brown bread is hella Australian
Starting point is 00:16:06 and we're all just like, uh-huh, OK. Like, right, we'll have some kookaburra wings. Kookaburra wings and they're so good. Yeah, like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't think Outback's bread has to fit the theme of Outback for it to be delicious and free bread. I guess it's interesting because the theme of Outback is Australia. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:24 But the theme of Outback now is just like moderately priced steaks that are pretty good in an established atmosphere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of love that. I had a buddy from Australia who we took an Outback. That's so funny. And he just was cackling the entire time. It's like Queensland chicken and shrimp. We don't even say shrimp in all of Australia. It's bronze. Also, Queensland is landlocked. We don't make any shrimp. And he was just going off.
Starting point is 00:16:51 He was from Queensland too. Or no, no. Sorry. It's not Queensland chicken and shrimp. It was like Alice Springs shrimp. Just a random. They just threw a dart on him. Alice Springs is like a mining town in the middle of Australia.
Starting point is 00:17:03 And he was like, what the hell do you mean Alice Springs? You just looked at a map. Whatever, man. I know. But I do love this bread. And how much did I give the Outback? What? You mean Red Lobster? Red Lobster. How much did I give Red Lobster? 8.0.
Starting point is 00:17:13 I'm going to give the Outback bread a solid 9.6. 9.6? It's so delicious. Wow. It's good, fresh, delicious. It's not too many frills. It's not too salty. It's a little bit of a sweet.
Starting point is 00:17:23 It's a little bit of a sweet. It's a little bit of a sweet. It's a little bit of a sweet. It's a little bit of a sweet. It's a little bit of a sweet. It's so delicious. Wow. It's good, fresh, delicious. It's not too many frills. It's not too salty. It's just really damn good free bread. That's what it is. You can even like see the roll on the loaves. There's a lot of love that goes into this. There's a lot of love that's gone into this, but this is an excellent bread. I'm going to give this, I'm gonna say though, check this out. What? Crush it, crumb doesn't spring back. This is a little bit too much like a cake. I'm giving it an 8.7. It is great though, it's great.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Well why don't you go ahead and- I'm looking for things to complain about. Why don't you go ahead and squish the biscuit between your fingers if you're going to be so sassy pants McGee about this all. Look at it, the biscuit springs- Show them. The biscuit springs back better
Starting point is 00:18:02 than the yeasted loaf of bread. That's not normal. Fine, fine. I'll give you that. 8.7. For a combined total of math guy. What'd you give it, 9.6? Uh, 9.15. That's correct. Hey, can we just like go to Vegas and you bet it all on red or something?
Starting point is 00:18:20 Yeah, I don't think math works with that, but that is how I would gamble because I'm like smart enough to average two numbers together Yeah, and not nearly smart enough to count cards. So I'm in that weird middle ground Where I just go to Vegas and I just slowly lose money. I'm also wildly impulsive Oh my god, and so rather than like waiting for the odds to be in my favor. I'm like I got I got two six in my Hand here. What if three four five comes up on the flop? I'm going all in. You know, I recently took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath.
Starting point is 00:18:50 Okay. Or a psychopath. Sure. And I was neither, but I was very impulsive. So it was like normal, impulsive, sociopath, psychopath, was neither sociopath nor psychopath. So I'm banned. Is this a test on the internet or administered by a medical professional? Yeah, no, no.
Starting point is 00:19:03 It's an internet test. It's kind of like Buzzfeed quiz. Buzzfeed comes up again. I'm sorry. You should take it. I took that test once with it was actually administered by a medical professional and they found out that I'm impulsive. I'm also impulsive. I'm impulsive by It's the it's like Logan Paul's podcast. I was gonna say, yeah, are you talking about Paul's? Yeah, I thought it was gonna be a quick one and done joke. CPK, I like CPK because it gives you two, I'm sorry. Cheesecake Factory, I like Cheesecake Factory
Starting point is 00:19:34 because it gives you two options, brown and white. CCF. CCF, Cheesecake Factory, if cheesecake was two separate words. I think cheesecake should be two separate words. Okay. You know? Whatever.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Strawberry cake's not one word. Chocolate cake's not one word. But cheesecake is one word? Cheesecake is one word. Hmm, let's go get some cake, and then I take you to go get cheesecake. Would you be upset? Well, cheesecake is a pie. Shut up!
Starting point is 00:20:02 You're so annoying. Crab cake is one word or two words? Crab cake is two words. Crab cake is two words. Crab cake is two words. Crab cake is so annoying. Crab cake is one word or two words one word. Crab cake is two words Crab cake is two words. Crab cake is two words Hot dog is two words Unless it's used as a verb like you're a hot dog. You're hot dogging. You're hot dogging like you're like hey Stop hot dogging on the water skis. You're gonna get hurt Okay, I just want I just want everyone to hear the the crustiness of
Starting point is 00:20:25 this bread. Does that make you feel anything? Yeah I feel pretty good about that. Well because so brown bread for brown bread, Cheesecake Factory versus Outback, those are the two brown bread hustlers right? Right they are the brownest of breads in the competition. These are these are wildly different breads here. Correct. Out are wildly different breads here. Correct. Outback's just cake-like, not springing back, no gluten development. Cheesecake Factory on the other hand, this is a crusty brown bread.
Starting point is 00:20:53 And it's got the whole oats on the outside, which what an iconic look for a bread. Yes, you know what you're getting, you know? You know you're getting whole oats with this. That's pretty good. I'm eating the brown bread right now from the Cheesecake Factory. I like the brown bread. I don't like it more than now back when though. Me neither. This is crustier. It's chewier.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Mm-hmm. Maybe even a little bit sweeter. Less fresh. I didn't think you could get. But less fresh tasting. Less fresh. Maybe, man, this Outback bread, it's like a hoagie roll. You know, you know like a hoagie roll, like you don't want a super crusty outside on a hoagie roll because then the hoagie insides are gonna spill out of the hoagie roll. You don't need to keep saying it. I heard you the first time. Saying what, roll?
Starting point is 00:21:34 Hoagie roll. Oh, hoagie. Hoagie. I think the Outback brown bread is better. It's softer, which I may have criticized before initially, but wow. But give me the white. The white is so good.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Really? This is a crusty French bread at the Cheesecake Factory. Oh my God. Incredible crumb on that bread. Look at that. They have like a crack-o-lan on the outside. The white bread from Cheesecake Factory might be my favorite. That's an excellent loaf of bread. It's sourdough. Wow.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I was at a restaurant last night that used, there's always like a great artisanal bakery in Los Angeles that springs up overnight, and then suddenly every single restaurant is using their bread. Are you talking about Bub and Grandma's? Bub and Grandma's. How did I know?
Starting point is 00:22:20 Because you live in Los Angeles, and you do a lot of restaurants, and all we do is talk to each other. You have the opportunity to be so nice to me right now, you just shot me down. You're very smart. Bang, bang. I hit the ground. Bang, bang.
Starting point is 00:22:34 But there's something about just like, and those breads are always very crusty, it's very crusty, it's very hard, it's very austere, there's something about just like a soft, Yeah. soft bread that melts in your mouth. Like that, that sourdough also feels like it has artificial sour tang in it. But it's, really? You think it's artificial?
Starting point is 00:22:50 I don't know, is that just ferment? I think it's just a well-fermented piece of bread. The thing about sourdough bread is interesting, because all bread should be sourdough, right? In a way, sourdough is called panneau le vin, which just means naturally-yeasted bread, like using a starter, not adding... Not everybody does that.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Not everybody does that, but I'm saying like, these commercial sourdoughs, or even... What's the one that started? Boudin? Or they call it... I think they call it Boudin, which is weird. Yeah, but it's like the San Francisco sourdough bread company. It's so good. It's so good, and it's like wildly sour,
Starting point is 00:23:20 but is that natural, or are they adding sour in there? I'm gonna assume that they use... This is an old recipe from like when they opened. That doesn't use any souring agent. It's really good. This is a great bread. I know, but the brown bread is lacking, which normally it's not lacking, but this one is. And it's just so nostalgic for me because this was the bread that I would get. And I would dip so, I would dip I would dip so I would dip it in Everything I would dip it in ranch dressing butter
Starting point is 00:23:48 Parmesan cheese I'd get the frickin salad dressing dip it in the balsamic drip dip it in the what's that one salad? They had the Santa Fe salad This was literally the meal the bread was the meal and I loved it Santa Fe had such an opportunity to culture to Capitalize on their cultural and I feel like they didn't do it. Santa Fe salad dressing was the bomb. Every Taco Bell had a Santa Fe Chalupa, but like Santa Fe was weirdly the culinary muse of the 90s. You know Bobby Flay coming out of Southwest everything, black beans and corn. It's because of Bobby Flay. Spring always gets me in the mood for fresh starts, cleaning
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Starting point is 00:27:10 and Odyssey podcast available now, wherever you get your podcasts. Wow. What do you give the Brad a 10? Damn. I'm going to give it a collective. I'm going to give it an 8.4. I was gonna say 8.3, which is? Oh my god. 8.35? You're so smart.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Oh my god! Yes! Don't belittle me. Okay. Next up. Texas Roadhouse. I've still never been and eaten a full proper meal at a Texas Roadhouse. Me either. I've tried in Baker's Hill, California and they were just booked out.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Yes. Booked out. So fun fact, the closest Texas Roadhouse is 62 miles away and I had a run or go yesterday and get it for us. So God bless you, Howard. You kind soul. Oh. And what?
Starting point is 00:28:00 Are you happy? You have to dip it in their special butter. What's it like, a spiced apple butter situation? I think it's a cinnamon butter. Oh, golly. What are they called? They call these yeast rolls, right? Oh! They call these yeast rolls? I don't know what they call them, but I love them. I think they call these...
Starting point is 00:28:17 Uh-oh. This is the best bread ever. The European mind cannot comprehend Texas Roadhouse's rolls dipped in butter. Josh. And I say that because in every other context, this would be called dessert. This is an incredibly highly sugared. This isn't sugary like normal bread. This is a yeast cake. Yes, there's a lot of sugar in the Texas Roadhouse.
Starting point is 00:28:39 This is like a Polish yeast cake, right? It's wildly sugary. And then you're dipping it in frosting. That's what that whipped butter is called. Oh my God. Whipped butter and sugar is called frosting. We've rewritten the rules, Nicole. Some rules are meant to be unwritten.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Is that the Natasha Benningfield song? It's meant to be unwritten. But it's so, so sugary and it's so good. But you're eating dessert first. Oh my God, who cares? I moved to disqualify Texas Roadhouse from the free bread offerings. What? Offering cake is cheating.
Starting point is 00:29:13 So you mean to tell me that you have a problem with Texas Roadhouse but you don't have a problem with Cheddar Bay biscuits? What's wrong with you? Yeah, that's what I think. Why don't you ruminate on that? Why don't you chew your cud and think about that? I will not chew that in front of you, or God. But I do cede my point to Nicole, you are correct. If we allow Cheddar Bay Biscuits, we must allow this delightful Polish yeast cake.
Starting point is 00:29:34 I'm giving this a 10. God, this is delicious. This literally tastes like something an Eastern Bloc grandmother would make. You know, I was about to not put Texas, I was about to not have Texas Roadhouse on this... What is this called? What is this called? What is it called? What is this called? My teeth are it from the sugar. What is this called? This ranking?
Starting point is 00:29:54 I was about to literally not put them on this ranking board whatever, but thank God I did because Texas Roadhouse rolls are the most incredible breads I've ever had in my life. Yeah, it's, yeah. They're heavy. They're good. It's heavy and wet with sugar. Maggie, do you want one? Yeah. Okay. Just chuck it at me. Got him. Hell yeah. I'm not, I don't. Get some butter. Yeah, throw the butter at her. No, no, no, not a good idea. You can come get better if you want. Um.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Oh my god, it's so good. Ten. Ten? You're giving, you're giving this a ten? It is what it is. You don't need to follow me! You're starting a meal at Texas Roadhouse. You know, you've gotten your 10 ounce New York strip, whatever, come in with your bashed potatoes, your loaded baked with it. Do you want to eat a giant dense cake before that? Josh, again, we should not be complaining because it is free,
Starting point is 00:30:44 and this is the best free thing that they could have put in front of you no matter what time it is. That is a great point. Yeah. Doesn't matter. I need to reframe that in my mind. This isn't a starter. This is just a restaurant giving you a free delicious thing. They are saying hello, thank you for entering our domicile. Here are some free things for you to munch on while you peruse our menu. And this is out of all the offerings we've had so far, the Texas Roadhouse Rolls with the Butter is app, I thought it was just gonna be,
Starting point is 00:31:10 the butter was gonna be the thing that's ended over the edge. The rolls themselves are pretty phenomenal. Meggie really wants that butter. Give her the butter. She's literally eyeing the butter. My poor Meggie. She hungry.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Yeah dude, I'm sorry, I'm giving it a 10. You don't need to give it anything if you don I'm sorry. I'm giving it a 10. You don't need to give it anything if you don't want to. I'm giving it a 10. You know what this has made me realize? What's up? Like a Soviet dessert is an American free commodity that we give to people. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:31:36 Yeah, people would stand in line for this. 100%. In Russia. That's not a political stand, but I mean, like this literally feels like an Eastern Europe. If you've ever had those like Eastern European like dense sort of like yeast cakes. Yes, yes. We have them in Iran too. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yeah. This is that. And we're giving it away for free. That's American opulence. This is what Texas Roadhouse. This isn't America. This is Texas. Um, yeah, I'm giving it a 9.6. Wow! Averaging out to a 9.8. Wow! Texas Roadhouse.
Starting point is 00:32:03 It looks of bread and it tastes of cake. It's incredible. Welcome to America, honey. Wow! What did Mary Antoinette say? Let them eat cake. What did they say in Texas Roadhouse? Eat our rolls, baby!
Starting point is 00:32:14 Okay, now it's time for wood... Hard pivot! I feel sick, Miss Nicole. Can I go home? No, shut up! You have two more pieces of bread to eat. Shut up! This is my personal heaven right now, in case you were wondering. I need a bite of Cheddar Bay biscuit to reset my palate.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Okay, you need to huff the wood ranch roll. Just huff it. So you ever work in like a big industrial commissary kitchen where you just have like the vats of like butter scented hydrogenated oil? How did you know that I've also had that experience? I just assumed. No, I've never had to empty the vats. But yes, I did walk into many industrial commissaries where there was fake butter all around me. You go seeing the bread towards me.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Yeah, a little bit. Incredible. So the wood ranch rolls, they are so wet with grease. They are like kind of barely cooked. They have a very pale exterior to them, tainted with green. I'm a nirvana. They're so light and airy that they're like almost hollow, like a baud de geijo. I want to, I'm goats seeing it open right now and I want to fill it with a meatball. Close it back up. So we get wood ranch catering like once every GMM shoot week, right?
Starting point is 00:33:31 I always take two of these rolls and I cut them open and I make sliders. Which is your God given right. Thank you. This is so savory and so delicious, but I worry the saturation is a little bit off-putting I have a question What if the Texas Roadhouse bread just came drenched in that butter because there's a world in which that's the case In which butter the whatever the sweet cinnamon butter they have is I'd be a happy girl. Well, why are these two drenched? I don't know. They just maybe it's cuz it's savory. Maybe it's cuz it's so savory It is reading it's less. It's less well seasoned than the cheddar bay biscuit But that's, I don't know if we need the level of seasoning on Cheddar Bay Biscuit.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Those are wildly salty. Yeah, they're so salty. These aren't that salty. You like it that much? You can like it. I'm not trying to get in the way of your joy. This is what I love most about this, is this like very light crumb structure.
Starting point is 00:34:21 It reminds me, there's a Spanish bread, you ever have pan cristal? So it reminds me of like pan cristal. These. It reminds me, there's this Spanish bread, you ever have pan cristal? So it reminds me of pan cristal. These must be like a super wet, high hydration dough. You can tell by the lack of, what's it called? The lack of, I don't know, what's wrong with my brain? The lack of continuity between the breads, that it's very wet and it kind of takes its own form.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Yeah, they're not perfectly shaped, they're not cooked in a mold. I really like that, but I'm going to have to give it a 7.9. Because it's too much to the saturation? It's too much saturation. All of these are like very good. I think the weakest showing is Olive Garden's. Yeah, they're pretty bad. I give these like a 7.4.
Starting point is 00:34:58 They are like a bit much. Yeah, they're heavy. But like the actual structure of the roll, if you didn't drench it in this garlic butter, I think it's probably better. If it was served on the roll, if you didn't drench it in this garlic butter. It would have been great. I think it's probably better. If it was served on the side, it probably would have been really good. But the fun of this bread and this free bread offering
Starting point is 00:35:12 is the fact that it is drenched in this delicious butter. It is very good, to be fair, it is very good. All right, we got one more bread. Nicole, this is your fan favorite. CPK. CPK, look at this beautiful crusty bread. Look at the webbing. Look at the beautiful gluten structure.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Here, I'll give you this. Do they have a name for this bread? Just Free Bread. And then you can either get it with butter or dipping oil, but I decided to get the dipping oil because I think it's more iconic. And the colors of the dipping oils and the floaties inside of them has changed throughout the years. What color did the dipping oils and the floaties inside of them has changed throughout the years. What color did the dipping oil used to be?
Starting point is 00:35:47 It used to have red flakes and then green flakes and then other green flakes and then also little dusty particulates of garlic. But now it's all just pretty much dark green. With a restaurant like CPK, if you get rid of the red flakes in the dipping oil, that's like a hundred thousand dollar bonus I know it's like an air. It's like an airline where they got rid of the olive and save like eighty seven thousand dollars I'm gonna drip it. I'm gonna smang it with my other piece of bread. I smang did Christ made it! That's how I got pregnant. Nicole! You gotta say that!
Starting point is 00:36:28 My God! This is just a good, this is a good bread. This isn't good free restaurant bread. This is great bread. I wanna make a sandwich with this bread. This is the bread I wanna put deli meats and cheeses and arugula. I just wanna have a part, this is a good party bread. This is the bread I want to put deli meats and cheeses and arugula.
Starting point is 00:36:45 I just want to have a part. This is a good party bread. I just had Atlantico Vinaigle at Coachella. The Italian music. Yeah. Coachella. Most Italian. But they had their Focaccia sandwich and granted it was at Coachella and they weren't baking the Focaccia fresh. But like was it with the pistachio and the mortadella? Let me tell you, it's pretty damn good. I was watching like Jenny from Blackpink, or no, I was watching Zed eating a mortadella sandwich. Fist pumping in the air. But this bread is like, that's a good little focaccia,
Starting point is 00:37:17 ciabatta style bread. I'd call that a ciabatta. Little crusty, a lot of webbing on it. Damn, what do you rate it out of 10? Damn, I think I might give that an 8.6. I give it a cool 9. That's like an excellent bread. Excellent bread. Gives it an 8.8, but we have a clear winner here.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Mm-hmm. Nicole, you want to crown him? Texas Roadhouse, you guys make the best free bread I've ever eaten in my life. And I've eaten a lot of free bread. But let me tell you, you knocked it out of the park. Way to go. You are worth the 62 miles. You are worth the 100, what's 62 plus 62? You are worth the 124 mile round trip drive for these rolls and for that butter. Texas Roadhouse, whatever Moldovan grandmother you stole this recipe from, it was well worth it.
Starting point is 00:38:03 whatever Moldovan grandmother you stole this recipe from, it was well worth it. Once the temps started rising, I realized I was stuck in the same old summer rotation. Worn out tank tops, faded pants, and nothing that actually made me feel good. So I gave my daily uniform a serious upgrade with Quince. I grabbed their 100% European linen dress. It's lightweight, classic, and somehow makes me feel polished even when I'm just running errands
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Starting point is 00:39:24 Quince dot com slash hot dog. Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. Josh, are you ready for this or that bread? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Okay, let's do it. Ciabatta or pumpernickel? Ciabatta. Ciabatta or rye? Ciabatta. Ciabatta or baguette? Baguette. Baguette or focaccia?
Starting point is 00:39:58 Focaccia. Focaccia or sourdough? Focaccia. Focaccia or multigrain? Focaccia, get about it, focaccia. Focaccia or multigrain? Focaccia, get about it, Focaccia. Focaccia or naan? Naan, naan is great. Naan or pita? Naan. Naan or challah? Challah, I am a challah bat girl. Okay, challah or brioche? Challah by a hair. Challah or cornbread? Chala, come on. Well, Josh, your favorite bread is chala.
Starting point is 00:40:28 I'm chala-hyphy about that. It's like hella. Such a dork. All right, Nicole, we've heard you and I have to say, now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a little segment we call Opinions are like casserole.
Starting point is 00:40:42 ["Opinions Are Like Casserolele Let's play that first spinnin' Josh and Nicole, hi there I'm still laughing at the voicemail message greeting there But anyway, I'm trying to solve a debate My friend thinks I'm weird because I put peanut butter in my cereal in the morning. And my specifically, I dip the spoon in the peanut butter and then every scoop of cereal that I eat has a little bit of peanut butter on the spoon and I like that and I can't eat cereal normally like if I would open up a box of raisin bread crunch or cinnamon toast
Starting point is 00:41:30 crunch I can't eat it without a little scoop of protein or scoop of protein or peanut butter on the spoon. Am I weird for this? Thanks. Love the show. Looking forward to listen to the next one. Thanks. I used to do this. I used to do this with Nutella. And cereal? Nutella and Special K Redberries. When I started my first job ever, they didn't pay me very much money. It was a full time job at a really nice campus.
Starting point is 00:41:58 It was also in Beverly Hills, so all the lunch options around it were wildly expensive. Right, right, right. But they had like free cereal and milk. That's nice of them. And little like breads and spreads and stuff. So for lunch almost every day for like the six months I worked there, I would have just the biggest bowl of Special K Red Berries with like a quarter cup scoop of Nutella in there. And I'd be like, well, this is a thousand calories.
Starting point is 00:42:19 I can just get through my work day with this and then go home and eat a dinner. Let me tell you, I did this for a very long period of time with honey bunches of oats specifically or honey bunches of oats almond, just any sort of honey bunches. And it is so delicious and also like the way your tooth scrapes the little knob of peanut butter is so satisfying because also like peanut butter is so fatty and then the milk is supposed to like wash away the fat but but it doesn't always work like that, so you have like remnants in your mouth. And I love doing this,
Starting point is 00:42:49 and I haven't done it in such a long time, but I'm gonna do it later this week for sure, because I love cereal right now. I think Raisin Bran Crunch is a great cereal. Yeah, it is, it is. The raisins kind of evocative of grape jelly, a little bit, get that acid. It is such a fun mouth adventure.
Starting point is 00:43:04 It is. When you scrape your teeth on that peanut butter, oh man acid. It is such a fun mouth adventure. When you scrape your teeth on that peanut butter, oh man. You got me all worked up about this. You're not weird. Well, you are weird, but you're weird in the best way. You're weird in the way that we're weird. So take that with a grain of, I don't know, salt? Salt, yeah, you know who they said was weird?
Starting point is 00:43:17 A grain of rice, take that with a grain of rice. You know who they said was weird was Oppenheimer. And look, you got a movie now. I was gonna say Albert Einstein. They said he was weird, and that guy has like really good hair. Albert Einstein had a wife who he f***ed. Next opinion or what are we? Hi my name is Dahlia from Eugene, Oregon.
Starting point is 00:43:46 My hot food take is that I'm kind of upset that alfalfa sprouts took over as like the fancy sprout and I kind of wish that it had been bean sprouts. Oh, interesting. Thank you so much. Have a great rest of your podcast. Ugh, I hate bean sprouts. Really? I literally- Oh, they're so fun and woody I prefer
Starting point is 00:44:07 Do you know where the Albert Einstein quote came from I don't know how we're gonna treat me at that That's a line from the 40 year old Virgin Where she's like you haven't grown up you see you don't have a car Look drivers license you still ride a bike and he goes Albert Einstein rode a bike and she was Albert Albert Einstein had a wife who he oh I never I never remembered the great I never remember quotes from movies like that that's a good good quote I love oh my god I love like a veggie sandwich from like from like a deli with a smear of bad hummus on oh my god the way I with
Starting point is 00:44:40 like raw shredded carrots on it oh I crave that sandwich all the time. With the worst cheese, the most random, grossest Swiss ever. Such a good sandwich with the delicious padding. It's like a padding of that delicious sprouts. Bean sprouts, I read something that really put me over the edge with bean sprouts. So I only get bean sprouts from places that blanch their bean sprouts, because I heard that like raw bean sprouts can cause indigestion or like listeria or something. Oh yeah, sprouts, alfalfa sprouts too though, but all sprouts, I think it's just they grow
Starting point is 00:45:14 in such a wet environment that there's so much bacteria. They harbor a lot of bacteria. Apparently they're like quite dangerous, however I don't, that doesn't factor into any of my food decisions, I just eat with abandon. I ate a hot dog by the LA River at like three in the morning on Saturday. Street hot dog. Open salsas. Oh, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Like a mango salsa. I like doing that stuff too. But like for some reason, for like bean sprouts in my mind have been implanted in there and I can't take it out. But I love sprouts and I need to eat more sprouts. Actually, I'm not supposed to eat sprouts. I shouldn't be eating sprouts. I can't eat sprouts.
Starting point is 00:45:52 You should have a dark beer though. I'm gonna, whenever I'm ready to like start breastfeeding, I'm going to harbor so much malt beverages. I'm gonna have so much malt. I'm gonna smell like a beer factory. I know where you're coming from on the bean sprouts thing, but I don't think they're substitute goods. I think alfalfa sprouts, they offer, they have a different spreading.
Starting point is 00:46:12 They spread across a sandwich differently. They have a different spreading. Different spreading. They spread across a sandwich differently than- It's a web. It's a web, and that's what I think you want in that sandwich. I agree. But bean sprouts, absolutely time and place.
Starting point is 00:46:25 I need to get better about eating more bean sprouts. Later. Hi, I'm Zanna from Alabama. Thank you so much for the podcast. It makes my Wednesday much better. I enjoy all things food, particularly etymology and the history of food. Oh, fun. Serious food question.
Starting point is 00:46:42 When did eggs become part of a crawfish boil? I've only seen it in the past few years. Interesting. But I've been doing crawfish boils my entire life. So I wondered when eggs came into play, couldn't really find anything on the internet and thought you might want to pipe in on that. I love the show. I love learning and I love what happened with you guys. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Y'all continue the good work. Bye. So sweet. One, thank you. That's very sweet. I would bet money. I think it has, can I interject? I think we got the same idea.
Starting point is 00:47:15 Okay. Say it at the same time. Vietnam means people. The occasion food. Yeah, I didn't know. You didn't give me a countdown. Viet. I would bet.
Starting point is 00:47:23 So one of the big explosions of these like crawfish or seafood is that you're going to Viet Cajun food! Yeah, I didn't know you didn't give me a countdown. Viet! I would bet, so one of the big explosions of these like crawfish or seafood boil chains like boiling crab, kicking crab, whatever they're called. Boiling crab is a big one in our area at least. Love boiling crab. And a lot of places have copied their model. They are Viet Cajun. And another thing that separates them is the use of garlic butter, which is a very Vietnamese thing a lot of French influence Butters really big in Vietnamese cooking. I would bet the eggs are also a Viet Cajun introduction because there's so many like braised seasoned egg Like whole boiled egg dishes. Yes a lot. There are like tit-caw stuff like that
Starting point is 00:48:00 Here's the thing though. What's up? I would rather they be quail eggs in the Cajun boil. Oh, well who's gonna do that? I know, well you go to a lot of Vietnamese restaurants, there's a lot of quail eggs, and I love quail eggs. I also love quail eggs. It's a whole little bite-sized hard-boiled egg. Canned quail eggs though, they do have a funk, and you need to blanch the quail eggs. If you don't blanch the quail eggs once they are removed from the can, they do have a
Starting point is 00:48:22 canny taste. Yeah, canning eggs is tough. But like, who's gonna sit there and peel a bunch of freshly hard-boiled quail eggs once they are removed from the can, they do have a canny taste. Yeah, canning eggs is tough. But like, who's gonna sit there and peel a bunch of freshly hard-boiled quail eggs? Not seafood boiled. We've tried it. It is annoying. It is a blunder. But yeah, that's a really funny thing that I never thought about, because I always grew up with eggs just sort of being in it.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Me too. You know, but also I grew up with just like wet garlic buttery seafood boils, which I can't imagine them without. I mean, I can. I've had like legit Southern seafood boils that are just delightful. It's just filled with the seasoning from the boiling water. Um, but man.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Vietnamese people made Cajun seafood boils better. Yeah. I strongly believe that. Good things happen when cultures mix. Yeah, like me and Josh. Yeah. He's so much cooler now. I really am. I used to be so lame. Such a dork. Such a dork.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Well, that was extremely sensual. Yes. Not funny. Josh, you are my hero in the kitchen, dude. I just wanted to tell you, Nicole, you're also very awesome. My hot take, I guess, is the best way to eat a bag of chips is to crunch them in little tiny bits and then flavor blast that MF right in your mouth like hardcore. All one bite and you go. Get it. Anyway, love you guys. Keep on doing what you're doing. I can't believe Jenny McBride has our number. I think it was Patrick Mahomes.
Starting point is 00:49:39 No. There are very few foods that you can do one action to, to drastically increase the flavor per square inch. Do you know what I'm saying? You can't take a steak in one fell swoop. Well, maybe you could blend it, but even then I don't think it would reduce. I don't think it would be pleasant. No. But chips, if you want to dial up the flavor experience,
Starting point is 00:50:01 all you gotta do is crunch them into a dust and you can fit more in your mouth. Yeah, but half of the fun of eating a chip is crunching it. I would agree with that. But also, there's the little treat at the end of the bag where you pull the bag, you get the chip crumbs isolated in the corner and you go, ah, ah, ah, ah. You shake it in your mouth like a dog. Like a hungry dog. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:23 But that said, here's my counterpoint. To me, that last little chip-shaking flavor blast is only as special as it is because of the scarcity. Yes, Josh, yes. I agree with you. You need to have the blander chips, which are still, again, more hyper-seasoned than any person at any point in history,
Starting point is 00:50:44 including like 40 years ago, could have ever imagined a food to be. It's like a Jordan almond. You know? You know what I mean? You gotta have the bitter with the sweet. You gotta have the bland for the flavor blasted. Oh, yeah. But when you think of that metaphor, you think of Jordan almonds as your first go-to? Jordan almonds is where the thing,
Starting point is 00:51:00 you must have the bitter with the sweet comes from. What? Really? Where would it be from? I don't like anywhere in history. El doce, el doce, el pita. You're telling me Jordan almonds are like a very hard candy covered almond. I'm pretty sure I'm right. There's like a slogan just for Jordan almonds. Jordan almond bitter with the sweet. Or is that what you're googling? What are you googling? Jordan almonds slogan bitter sweet. All right, is that what you're googling? What are you googling? Jordan Almond's slogan bittersweet? Well now I feel stupid uh
Starting point is 00:51:31 Maybe I don't know well anyways No, help me somebody Somebody help me. Jordan Almond's are thought to be a fertility symbol due to their egg shape They're also thought to represent the bittersweet nature of life. That's fine. Okay point. Oh, do you do you have them at weddings? Yes What? the bittersweet nature of life. That's fun. Okay, point for the- Oh, do you have them at weddings? Yes. I didn't know that. What? So the almonds are the bitter. Yes.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Are almonds bitter? I know they are. Anyways, the point is, you have a good point. Yeah. But it can't be all the time. But I would not do what you do because I need that dichotomy in my chip eating. Frankly, we can't do what you do. Only you can do what you do and only you can be you.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Was that inspiring? I like the- Comment below if that was inspiring to you. Well on that note, Nicole. What's up? Thank you so much for stopping by Hot Dog Sandwich. We got new episodes for you every Wednesday audio. Every Sunday the video comes out on YouTube. We got new you next time.

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