A Lot On Your Plate - Aliens, Serial Cheaters & Sleeping With My Boss

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Anyone else obsessed with space right now?We’re starting things off with some chat on moon missions, astronauts, aliens and all the terrifying unknowns of space, plus a few life updates including a very exciting milestone for Jenson 🥹Then we get into your dilemmas… including a long-term workplace affair, being cut from a best friend’s wedding, and an awful first date 👀Got a story or dilemma you’d like to share? Pop us a DM on socials or email [e-mail]!And remember you can sign up to Patreon for an extra episode every week plus bonus vlog-style content, competitions, group chat, early access to tickets and looooads more! See you there piggies 💖 patreon.com/ALotOnYourPlate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete Tuesday, everybody, how are we? Did you have a nice Easter? Happy Tuesday. Happy Easter. Happy Easter, that we? We didn't actually say happy Easter on the last episode, but it's still the Easter holidays. Correct.

And it is 20 degrees as we're recording today. Spring is coming. For spring to come on the Tuesday when everyone's back to work. It's actually shit for the rest of the week as well. Rood. Has this rocket gone and pulled the sun closed for one day as it's just past? Well, it's past the moon. But what's happening with that?

I'm just not engaged in this rocket. Guys, it is being my personality. I cannot. From the moment I close my eyeballs to the moment I wake up, I think about it. It's so strange. But that's because I'm deeply in a hole, Googling every single bit of information about it before I go to sleep. Right.

Because I've got so many questions. I've got so many questions about space anyway. I just find the whole thing fascinating. I know we could sit and talk for hours about being on a floating rock. But it's not necessarily that I find what they're doing fascinating because it is, but it's just more the questions I have about it and the unanswered questions more than anything of the things that we don't know. That's quite scary. Yeah, okay. So to put it lightly, dummy, Artemis has just flown the furthest into space that any humans have.

Four astronauts are on board. Three men, one woman, one woman, right? And they're basically circling the moon and in 2028, they will then land on the moon. So this mission isn't to land on the moon. is to go around it. So they're actually getting to see the rear face of the moon, which we haven't seen photos of since, like, updated photos, I think since the 70s. Right. And it's just fascinating for me.

And I think they will then land on it in 2028 to see, if you could probably live. And I think this might be a stepping stone into getting to Mars. But I heard that it takes around six months to get to Mars. Right. So it's taking what 10 days to get to the moon? There and back. And that's with themselves.

circling the earth first to pick up the speed to get to the moon. That's why they circled the earth first. Wow. And it takes six months to get to Mars. Where the fuck is Mars? Far. And did you know that they are travelling one mile every second? Can you just comprehend how fast that is? No, can't, I'm afraid. Every second. They don't have any gravity. That's a speed I go doing that, M-74 my money. Beaches. I was driving. the other day but me and my mum both left

like Glasgow together so then I was behind her and then 74 and obviously I took over and she phoned me what speed are you actually doing but it was kind of breaking up and I was like

what you're saying so I asked her about three times she obviously thought you're trying to get your answer straight I said 70 mum you're just a slower 70 than me I just love it and I was saying to Zoe before this

because she was asking me a few questions but I was like the fact that they are always she went are they constantly floating And I went, well, yeah, the woman's bar. It's all over the other. She's literally, her hair is just flying everywhere, right? But then I saw a video of her exercising.

Because of their bone density, they need to be grounded of some sort, right? So they sort of strap them to treadmills and squat racks. And they have to do all their exercises on board. And you were telling me about having a shit. The toilet thing, because I was talking about it yesterday really briefly. And I think, I don't know if it was me or Kirsty that said, how do they do the toilet but it's a sucky toilet

so there's no water in it it just sucks the toilet away but they need to put their feet into straps like straps on the bottom of it to basically hold themselves down and they poo still on board there then but I'm going to assume

that you need to put quite a lot of force into your feet for them to stay down and hold your body down as well so there's definitely going to be poo patical floating about up there and like if you have like a plate of food the food would just not be on the plate Because you know what, well exactly

And you know what else I was saying You can't even go on a two-hour flight to Spain Without getting the shits So you're telling me on a fucking rocket You've got a solid poo No you don't No you don't I wonder if all the food in that

In your body Then rises Like how does that work? How's the gravity then inside you? You must feel horrendous When you come out of that Yeah Because you've just

You've been all over the shop Upside down But there's people that live in submarines for months on end, weeks on end. There's people living in the International Space Center, what was called, looking, for six months at a time, which is constantly orbiting Earth at a crazy speed. I think it circulates Earth nine times a day.

Did you know that? What, no. I don't know anything about space, by the way. It's not something that I've... Really? I've never really engaged so much about it. You know if you jumped out of the international space... Am I saying it's the ISS?

ISS. International... ISS. Yeah. Now, there are somebody, a man has jumped from it and managed to jump and parachute. It was like, I think it was with Red Bull. Parachuted into Earth, right? And people will question it like, well, how the fucks he'd done that? There's no gravity in space.

There is gravity in space. There's some gravity in space just above Earth. But the Earth's gravity sort of sucks you down. Right. But if you jump at the wrong height, you could be trapped in Earth's orbit for the rest of your life. And you would constantly be spinning and spinning. You'd die instantly because something like a meteoroid or something would just pierce you and you'd just die. instantly, right?

But just to think if you actually got trapped in the orbit. No, I get a shibber. No. I think I would rather not know what's out there. You could, honestly, you could get in a real hole with it. Because what if they do get to space, right? No, Mars, sorry. And they say that there's aliens there.

What do you mean by aliens, though? Right, like a weird green figure. That's definitely not true. But say there was something there. you're still not going to have answers to these a million questions. All you know is, yeah, there is life out there, but we kind of think that anyway. Now, when you say life, life as we know it, is something that requires water and oxygen, yeah? Yeah.

Life is another planet knows it might not need that. So there probably is loads of life, quote, life out there, but it's not life that would live on our earth. Does that make sense? So not a mammal, not a human. Yeah, not necessarily. Right. It would be something that is life to them. Like an alien?

There'll be loads of things that wouldn't even, don't even live on our earth. We wouldn't even know what the fuck it was. Maybe it's Super Mario. Potentially. Flubber. Yeah. Member Flubber?

I went to the cinema to watch Hail Mary. Yeah. I'm not watched that yet. Zoe, you'd love that. I've heard it's good. It's quite a kid film, which I don't think it would be. So there's a spoiler alert, right? Hail Mary was a really popular book,

but it's become a, film. And they say if you like interstellar, you'll like it, but it is definitely a little bit more, I wouldn't say gimmicky, because obviously these things probably could potentially happen. Yeah, but he, Ryan Goslin meets an alien called Rocky. And he looks like a rocky spider, is how I'll say it. Right. And he's, they're far more intelligent than humans. He can understand what Ryan Goslin is saying, but he has to use a computer and picks up words over time when they spend time together and he can work out what they call him and he gives him a computer generated voice. So it becomes a bit of a character in it.

And it's really, it's such an amazing, wholesome film. I really recommend you go and see it. But it can mess with your head a little bit because you are a bit like, for fuck, this could be real. I know and I don't know if I like that. It could be real. And when he's kind of come back to Earth, well, if he did decide to come back to Earth, the world was ending.

That's why he went on this space mission to try and save Earth, right? And then it got me thinking in my deep fucking thoughts, which actually honestly kept me up for hours and I was guys do you remember when we did that like random thought on the early seasons I think we should bring that back and I was honestly my eyes were like

wired to the ceiling like what the fuck if the world ended tomorrow which could happen the way things are going well yeah it'd probably be quite a good thing it's actually nuts to think that there would still be humans alive seven in the space centre

in the fucking Yes, yes. And four on board, Artemis. What the fuck would they look back on? They wouldn't survive though, because they've only got enough fuel to get back. But the people on ISS would for about six months. Are we all dead or is the whole planet blown up? The whole planet's blown up. So where are they going back to?

Exactly. Fuck knows. But what a great film that would be. What would you do? They haven't got fuel on there either, I don't think. I think it's just something that you have to get. access to. Right.

Also, is there only four so there's four people on this rocket? All of them are astronauts. Correct. There's not like one person on it who's kind of like rocket manager. Like engineer?

Yeah. Aren't they all engineers though? Isn't that what an astronaut is? How and why do you go in to being an astronaut? You would just study space? But what's your day-to-day job when you're not in a rocket? Just like try to investigate different ways that you can maybe go to space, go to Mars, all that kind of stuff.

Probably. Project management of the rocket. Anyway, anyone else fascinated with space, because same, but you could just think about it for ages and the amount of galaxies out there and other planet Earth. But the thing is, you'd never be able to get to it anyway, so what's the fucking point of thinking about? That's kind of why I'm not sure I can be arsh wasting the brain space on it. Because I'm never going to get the answers. Would you rather know what's on Mars or what's at the bottom of the sea? Well, we've only explored what?

Something like 5% of the ocean. Don't quote me on that. Allegedly there's, there's, we barely know anything. But I guess the point of the sea is it is just, you still know it's water and sea creatures. Whereas different planets, you've not a fucking clue. Think to answer your question, I would love to know if there's people, there's things close to us on different planets, yeah?

Yeah. No, I don't know. If anything, I'd like to know what happens when we die and if we go to one of these planets, to be honest. We go on the ground or in a wee pot that sits in somebody's mantelpiece. Energy cannot be destroyed, do we? I've no got any energy.

I could be destroyed by a firm flick of the finger. She's gone. Anyway, what a load of fucking shit. Update for you all. Ready? Jensen started walking on Sunday. He didn't. Well, he took his first step, shall we say?

First steps, it's a big moment. Over of the course of the weekend on the Sunday, he took about six steps on his own, and you should see his face. When he started to take the steps, he's kind of realising what he's doing, and he's like, he'll be on face himself. I know.

Yeah. So that's the next step of parenthood come in my way. You kind of want it. And you kind of don't. Do you want it? Yeah. You want the progression and the, okay, you can walk, brilliant, but going to sit back down. Yeah, I think he's going to be crazy.

Yeah, I think so. Because he is rapid crawling. Yeah. He looks like, you know, the woman that comes out of the TV from the ring, he walks like, he crawls like that at full speed. And I also, my mum was here at the weekend at Easter, and we had a nice weekend, actually. We went to a fucking Kelvin Grove Museum again. I don't know how you've went there.

Have I spoke about the fact I went there? No, it's actually on my note to ask Debbie how Kelvin Grove was. I mean, guys, it's fine, but I wouldn't go a second time. No, no, no, that's not very nice. You don't talk about the second time. You talk about your first experience. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, I enjoyed it.

But I wouldn't say I'm a massive museum lover in general. I'm not standing reading all the writing. I just like a wee mooch about. I like the animal part. That's cute. But they're all dead. like they're all real animals that were dead Do you know what Zoe I'm not sure on that?

Stuffed I think they are See like the foxies and birds and things Like the smaller ones Yeah Maybe not the big standing ones Because there are some fake fish And like plastic fish in the air and stuff And I don't think any of the

Egyptian like memorabilia and all that is real I don't think it's authentic stuff Is it not? I don't believe so I think that animals that are in the sort of glass displays like the foxies and taxidermines. I think they're stuffed.

Yeah, they probably are actually. Well, they must be, but I don't think any of the really big fuckers are. No, I don't think they are, but that made me quite sad. I felt sorry for them in there. But at least their life's kind of prolonged. Yeah.

I know their deeds, but... I want my being dead and stuffed and put on show. And other ones are just at the side of them 74. Anyway, I did... Mind that one that was on there for... That fucking badger RIP! That was on there for a good six to two, one, I'll see.

What a shame. Did you know in Kelvin Grove as well there's some is it Monnet? Like actual Monnet or fucking some Gustav Clint or something like that? I don't know what you're saying. It sounds like Money but with an accent.

Monet? The artist. I don't know who that is. Zoe, I'm embarrassed for you. I'm not into my art. Mind I said Van Span Gough or what his name is Shied. He's got so much shied.

No, spell it. Is it M-O-M? Maybe. M-O-N-E-T. No, I was going to put an S in there. Right. Anyway, anyway, I walked by it in the gallery and I was like, holy shit, like it's an original piece of art.

We did actually... Just like, I could just literally go, boof. Yeah, we did admire a lot of art, so I do know what you're talking about. I've seen it. Mm-hmm. But I also like the Rennie McIntosh area. Yes.

That reminds me in my old house. I think my mum would light, wall lights, the wee design on them. Cute. Yeah, it was. And I think she got a wee next one. this would design. It was really reminded me and my mum. Did you know he died of tongue cancer? Read that. I did read about him. There you go then. I did read some things. I mean,

I think if you come to Glasgow as a visitor, absolutely go. But I'm like, I feel bad that you've had to go a few times in the last few months. Since Shenzhen's born, I think I've been about six times. What do you do when you go in there? It's because I'm with people that want to go. That's what it is. It feels like it's come out of nowhere, though. Do you know what I mean? It has, Zoe. It absolutely has. but I also go to Kelvin Hall across the street quite a bit Yeah so it's about like let's just go for you wander there and then we go to Kelvin Hall and get Jensen flogging the

cushioned pillows and that Also Are you going to go to see the Barbie thing in there? Yeah I think I'd quite like that Is it in June? I wouldn't mind going to see that Okay Something to do in it

Let's get into the sex Right okay Let's get into the fun chat Not a problem So Last week we had our... Big message.

Big message about a threesome and you asked a few questions. We've got answers to the questions. With answers, Zoe. I mean, I'm sure we'll have more answers because today, as we record on a Tuesday, the episode has just come out. So we get some of you guys

are able to message us just before we record in the afternoon. Yeah. I'm going to assume you mean the answer of what happens when other two people are touching each other? Correct. Follow up as I'm listening.

for Zoe. Usually you are touching one another. One on the face, one on the dick. When he went down on one, we just kissed and fondled each other. No one was ever really not doing anything. When shagging the other, he was touching me so it's all fun and someone's usually getting a bit of something. I've since then done it again. But this time with a couple. It wasn't as fun as I felt really bad that I was literally shagging someone. one's boyfriend. Right. In front of them, but they do it a lot.

Oh my God. She's actually confided in me about other stuff, and I think he's a bit of a scumbag, so I don't feel like it doesn't actually work in their relationship. I did ask the question, and she said she is so in love with him. She just kind of lets him do whatever, but she kind of knows about it. But I didn't really enjoy it, to be honest, because even though I'm a bit of a, I do have morals. And I don't feel like I, I don't feel like I would do that. game with a couple. I mean, we were all drunk and it was more me and her as he couldn't get his

little man to work, but we just had some les fun. I've actually now slept with three girls since the last message. Had a little three-week thing with a girl and I just did what I thought would feel nice on me and I've had some good feedback so let's think I've passed the lesbian test. Sex with a girl is so much fun and passionate. So for all the single bi-curious girlies, get out there and try a bit of the poo-nanny. I'm in for a hot girl. I'm in for a hot girl. someone with all the guys and girls. I told my friends at least I've got a good range of options now. Also, for me being a mother, my weekends look very different from one to the next.

One week's off play next week, 50 Shades of Grey. Any more threesome queries? I'm your girl. Wow. That is very adventurous. Good honour. That's all I've got to say about that. Good fucking honour.

Right. So, we have made a bit of a boo-boo with our email address. But we've had a couple of dilemmas come through since we've updated it. So, Zoe, would you like to explain? Well, what I would like to say is I made a big deal about it being dotcold. UK because we live in the UK and actually it's dot com. So it's contact at a lot on your plate podcast.com. Thank you.

Please resend your dilemmas. If you got in touch, resend them. Because see, once I got back into it as well, because it wasn't working for a period of time there, nothing else came through. So even if you did do that from when we did it on the story, maybe just re-send it. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. I hold my hands up. It was just a mistake. So a few weeks ago, we had this huge dilemma come in to our inbox, right? And I went back to this girl and just said, I need to know more information on it. I've got lots of questions. But since then, I lost it.

I couldn't find it. It was around the time I was moving house. And yesterday, last night, I got a message. thankfully from the girl just to say, now you're back, I would love you to read out my dilemma because I really need your advice. Now, before we go into it,

I definitely want to just reiterate that. We are not relationship experts. Not at all. In the slightest. We're not life coaches in this department, but some certain people feel, listen to us every single week. They feel comfortable.

They don't have people to confine in, like, friends. They're probably embarrassed. And this girl definitely is that. She hasn't spoken to anybody about it. obviously take this into consideration okay she's telling us how she feels she needs to get it off her plate yeah fair enough and there's been an update since

so she said I want to send you an updated email okay do you want to read it Zoe yep I have been having some sort of relationship with my boss for the last one and a half years he's 15 years older than me and has been married for over 20 years we had been messaging and sleeping together outside of work until his wife found messages she doesn't know we ever

met. She caught messages for a second time and after that we've never messaged outside of work. It'd been almost a year and we were still keeping things going and work with messages and everything else but sex. Total no contact outside of work still. Lately we've started to meet up again. We both say if we have feelings, get jealous of each other at home and don't like each other having sex at home. Right. He tells me he has sex around once a month at home. I believe this as he could tell me he never has sex

and I would never know that he's lying. and I'm not very happy at home. I sound like such a bad person in this situation is something I never would have thought I would be in, but I am and can't get out of it. He says he's happy at home. Can he really be happy at home to be married this long and do this with me for so long?

Does it sound that he's using me for something he isn't getting at home? Am I giving him a good ego because I'm so much younger than him? Is it just comfort and stability at home? The situation is so awkward now because obviously I can never see his wife again and we had been out together for work a few times. please help what do I do

how do you even go back to be normal and see each other every day do I ride with and see where it goes thank you for listening and let me get it off my chest as I've been keeping this a secret for so long now I can't even believe I'm in this situation that is a difficult one and she's also married

the girl that's wrote into us she has recently in the past few years got married as well right which is what was in the original email. Okay. What do you suggest in that situation?

I obviously don't condone affairs or cheating and I would never want it to seem like that. Yeah. But I do appreciate that people can get in these situations, especially in work when you spend a lot of your time there. Mm-hmm. And you put a lot of energy into it as well. It also probably feels exciting because it's in a secret. You're both married. Yeah.

How would that be if you're not? were not, if you didn't work together, would it be as exciting when you're not all in uniform? And I guess he's got authority. He's your boss. So that's exciting. You're saying you're not happy at home, but are you just not happy at home because you've been having an affair for so long? Are you really giving it your best shot from your, you're basically just still newlyweds, essentially? Yeah. He's been married to his wife for 20 years. Is a children involved? Does he want to break the family unit? is it too much hassle than it's worth

to then go and leave for somebody at work? Like he's the main boss. Does everybody, I take it, nobody else knows in the office. You're too much of a risk for him. If I'm being completely honest, he's never leaving his wife for you. That's what I think. I think as much as there's feelings involved

from reading that, I feel like it's very much from your side. Yes. I think he's got maybe some level of feelings and he's obviously saying that but equally saying he is happy at home. Yeah. And yeah, okay,

you're maybe not sure you believe him but it doesn't actually matter if you believe him or not that's what he's saying so that's a narrative he's going to continue with he's happy having best of both worlds exactly and he hasn't he's not leaving his home situation for you yeah and the moment he was

nearly caught out the first time things really pulled back to remember that he shat himself he's thinking I can't do this and then he's just gone right back in he's led at sell so that his wife believes it stopped I wonder what messages were that she read to know that there was something going on Yeah like how how intimate or sexual were they

Or was it just kind of like Let's meet where you're going to meet What you're just chatting as if like you knew each other well because you do And what are you doing in work? That's what I want to know You're still doing things in work Everything but sex Are you teamsing one another

Like where's this conversation living? Yeah Or is it you go into his office The blinds go down and you start getting giving him a BJ under the desk, like what's going on? Which I get from watching things that, like, I've never been in the situation with a boss, but I get from watching films and programs and everything, why that would be exciting. Like, I understand that.

Yeah. But unfortunately, I just feel like that's all you are to him. And that's so hard to hear. Yeah. But I just think that he's almost, I feel like he's turned your world upside down. And I'm not sure he feels like that. I think he's quite happy still with his life. He is.

And I just think that's a shame. I don't think that's fair on you to continue on that basis that you're actually never going to get what you want from him. Yeah. And I also feel really sorry for your husband. Yeah. Your husband, if you're... I just don't know.

You obviously married him for a reason. You love him. And I don't really think you've given your marriage a very fair shot. I do think people can make mistakes and they can get caught up in things. I just don't see that you, you and your boss are going to be long term. Unless, like, you left the company. It's just, it just sounds really messy.

Yeah. Especially there's going to be kids involved. He's a lot older than you. I don't know. If I was to, if I was your friend, right, and you were telling me about this and you were seriously asking me what the fuck do I do? I would probably tell you to go and get another job. I know that sounds extreme, but there is no other way around it.

This man is your boss. You're going to have to deal with him. every single day. You could cut it off, but I don't really have high hopes that you wouldn't continue it again. It's not even that for me. It's cutting it off

and then your treatment from him will become different. Yeah. He will either be bitter that you've ended it because that's not what he maybe wants because he's happy having his sidepiece at work. And like you both said,

you got quite jealous of each other as well. Or he's going to start just treating you badly because he's annoyed at you. Yeah. Yeah, I would be saying you need to get another job and you need to leave him at that job.

Yeah. You're not getting another job to then have an appropriate relationship. Sure. To me, you're getting another job to move on from the situation. Yeah. Because it's not long term. He's saying he's happy. And the fact that you're questioning, the fact that you're questioning,

is he happy or is he just saying that? Am I just this to him? Or is he just saying that? Like, are you just waiting for him to leave his wife for you and then you'll leave your husband? Yeah, but you're already questioned all these things, which, as we say all the time, If you need to think that way, it's not a good sign.

I don't think it's not that he doesn't care about her. There definitely will be feelings there. No, of course. I think there is feelings, but it's not... He just likes the idea of you. Yeah, and for him it's not strong enough to cause that upheaval at home. Yeah, correct. And that's not fair because you're actually, from what you've said,

kind of willing to cause that upheaval in your own home. Yeah. For him. So he's worth it to do. Well, ask yourself that question. Would you? I know, would you actually? Yeah, would you actually go through it?

If he turned around to you tomorrow and said, I'm leaving my wife. I'm going to tell everybody about us. Would you say yes and would you win? If so, I really think you need to leave your husband as well. And then if not, then it's just got to stop. It's got to stop. Regardless, there's no way we're going to tell you to continue it.

No. Do you think the leaving the husband needs to happen regardless? Well, I think it does if the question was, if he turned around you tomorrow and said, would you leave me then, yeah, I do think that. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah, like in her mind.

You're in love with another man? Yeah, it's not actually if the guy does it as you're pretending he's asked you that so that you then know how you feel about your husband. And also I think it's fair that he finds his happiness and he moves on. But if so, right, we've left... I'm talking about the husband here.

But let's think about this. You've left the work. Right. You've cut conversation with the boss. Yeah. The boss is out of the picture. Yeah. We've sacked the boss, right?

Okay. Are you telling your husband and your same of your husband? Are you telling them you've had an affair? Are you telling them you've had an affair? Are you asking me that question? I'm asking everyone. For my conscience, I would love to.

Yeah. If I could get away with it, no. Yeah. God, I feel terrible saying that out loud, but I don't know. People might be different. It depends how you are as a person. If you could live with yourself knowing,

personally I think it would eat me alive. Oh, I'd be dead. But I think if you could get away with it, and I don't know, you know your husband better than me. I know, would he forgive you? Would he forgive you? Maybe he does. Yeah.

Maybe you know that if you came clean and said, it was a huge mistake, he got really caught up in something, you've also went and found a new job already. Like maybe that's the time you say this. Maybe he is a forgiven person and can understand. Maybe you have been having problems. Maybe it's not a happy honeymoon marriage. It's maybe not.

people go into marriage thinking I should even get married to you yeah but the main part of me feels like you need to get on your job sack the boss and sack the husband I think neither of them are right for you you wouldn't be doing it with the boss if it was

and the boss has no right for you because he's never going to commit so I think we need to sack the most and move on and you know when you're with your husband do you always think about the boss like you know if you're having sex with your husband like do you still have sex to them I'm guessing you do

because you must tell that you must tell each other that you have sex to your partners because that's... You get off on it but are you thinking of him the whole time?

I know. You must be. I bet you are. I don't know for me it just feels like a really uncomfortable and steady way to just continue

my life I just doesn't make me happy because are you actually happy in either of these situations we think about it? No. Because you're missing something from each

Exactly. Because in the moment of excitement, you're not thinking about the reality of it. But the reality of that is and you know that you don't really know if what he's saying is true to you. Yeah. And this isn't me just blaming the guy, right? Because obviously she's just got as big a part to play in it. But what really pisses me off is he's like a guy of authority. That's a thing.

That knows you would find it exciting if he hit it on you. Yeah. Unless it's a big, creepy older man, right, that you'd be like. like, oh, if there's a sort of mutual attraction, you're maybe quite similar in ways. He knows what he's doing and that just pisses me off. And unfortunately, like I hate telling someone that they're going to have to potentially leave their job, but the reality is he's the boss. I know.

He ain't going to leave. It's his fucking company. Yeah. And I don't know how high up you are in the company, how hard you've worked to get to where you are today. Like, it's so shit that you now feel trapped. I know. By your own doing, obviously.

I know. Like, I feel for you that you're in this situation because it's probably. probably just like a snowball effect. Yeah. A bit of flirting turns into a couple of messages then before you know you're meeting in the coffee room or his office. Yeah. Before you know he's fucking wacked you against the bones kissing you.

And you're a bit like, oh shit, your wallie's inside my vagina. How do you get here? And I do it. It is exciting. Like there's so many films on this sort of scenario and porn. Like everything is always based around sleeping with your boss or? And what's a shame is, is that why you're not happy? at home is it just to comparison

whereas actually you've got maybe a really nice loving relationship but yeah it's just not porn level excitement but that's just the reality of a relationship and then most like do you reckon your partner has any idea that you are a little bit I don't know reserved at home or I know because I'm not having sex in the working then

and going home and having sex again I know once is enough do you know what I mean once there's more than enough correct I mean I feel like I know I don't want to make you feel bad No I know you've done wrong

It's about accepting And there's probably loads of people listen to this That might be in a similar situation I think from this point It's about accepting that you've made a mistake And you've got into a deep And you're going to hurt people But you need to move forward in the right way now

Yeah Like you can I don't know if you can fix it But you can move forward In a morally acceptable way And what I will say is obviously since you first emailed us, which was four months ago. Yeah. Which bothered you back then with four months later and you're still spiraling. Yeah.

You're still bothering you so much. You're no further. Before you know it, your life's passing you and you're wasting it on this guy that isn't going to give up his life for you. No. And you never know. You might cut it off, leave the job, leave your husband and on a year time he's done the same thing. You actually never know. But I don't think you can leave on the basis. that it's his choice. Yeah. You need to do all the cutting. And yeah, you might, come back six months.

You never know. I've moved out and I've left my wife because I love you. But that's not up to him at this stage. Yeah, you need to then put the authority hat on. What I would also do is if you've got a close friend that you can talk to and trust, then I would also do that. Yeah? Because I think you do bottle things up.

And it's because you know you've made a mistake. Mm-hmm. And you're not. or anyone's opinion almost because you know what they're going to say. Yeah. And you know yourself, you know yourself what you should be doing.

You just want reassurance and we've just gave you that. Get them to fuck the both of them. I really hope. Keep us updated and let us know. And also if you're listening to this, anybody else that has any advice that maybe was in a similar situation,

let us know what you did or what you think she should do. We can always follow up on this on future episodes. But yeah, I think affairs are such a huge thing. Especially in the workplace. And the thing is, loads of people do get over them. So I'm saying leave the husband as well. But if that's not necessary, fair enough,

but maybe just have time apart. Yeah. I think you should be honest about it. But as we said, you know your husband better than us. But I think even if you're honest or not, and neither of you want to leave each other, I think you need at least a few weeks just not involved with either person here. Or you could seek professional.

help. Like you could go and speak to a couple's counsellor and go and actually speak to someone. Even now, if you feel like you need to go and speak to somebody that's maybe more professional than us and you really need to work out like maybe why you're doing this or understand yourself a little bit better on what could be the right decision, then definitely look at speaking to somebody professionally as well. You're not a bad person. No, not at all. You've just made a mistake. There's no judging here. We completely understand how you can get yourself in these situations. But the right thing 100% that we would be saying to you is we think you need to cut it off

from him first, tell him that nothing's moving forward from us. It's going to be purely professional. And if you know you can continue that, then fine. I don't know how you'd grow in the business though. How he would let you. I'm unsure on that. How you'd find Christmas parties seeing the wife, I don't know. You know better than us.

But then you could also look at going somewhere else. or you could look at coming clean and telling your husband if you think that makes you feel better. I honestly think a fresh start would feel so... What's the word? Like, lifting. What's the word I'm looking for? Revitalising.

Yeah. And also, you definitely can get through this, you know. You know, if you want to stay with your husband, this isn't the end of the road. You definitely can rekindle your whatever sparked you in the first place with you and your husband. and you can definitely get that back. At the moment it's clouded because all you're doing

is thinking about somebody else. Exactly. An exciting, unrealistic situation. I feel sorry for him, obviously, but... Listen. He might forgive you. Another email. I'm loving the emails.

It's very profite. It is. It's easy for us to find as well. It is. Girls, I need your thoughts. My best friend got with her fiancé when we were only teenagers. His best friend, who I was also friends. friends with pulled me aside at the time and told me heads up i love my pal but he's cheated on every

girlfriend he's ever had i obviously told my best friend this about ten years have passed since this and the couple are now engaged and very happy however some years ago i found out the fiance hated me because i quote tried to split them up some weeks ago i then found out that i am not invited to the wedding because it would make him feel uncomfortable what the fuck yet his lifelong best friend who told me this information that he was a serial cheetah is still included. This really made me pause and reflect on how excluded I have been over the years. Her mental health was always too bad to do things and she would cancel on me last minute but managed to go out with their shared friends.

I was quite annoyed that in the messages she sent me to say I wasn't invited to the wedding, the onus was put on me to decide if we were still going to speak. Language like, if you can't get over this. So to cut a long story short, I've not seen. spoken to her since and deleted her number. However, we run in the same social circles and are inevitably going to see one another again. How do you think I should play it when I see her again?

Oh, that's absolutely horrendous. That is awful, by the way. I just don't think she deserves you then. Because what's happened here is... I mean, it was fucking years ago, for one, why we still talking about it? And two, the guy's doing that because he's clearly guilty of something. Exactly, that's what I was going to say.

Like, that is the only solution here. You're a problem. You're problematic for their relationship. Because he knows that if you found anything out, you would tell her instantly. And you have your suss over him anyway. Yeah. But you probably would have lost that suss. Yeah, if they built that trust and included you and stuff.

Yeah, exactly. No, I think honestly good riddens to the both of them. I agree. Because, no, I don't know if I can be friends with if I'm not invited to your wedding, actually. And your best mates? Like that's only acceptable if you're having a small wedding. I need to understand what the, I need to understand what the, I need to understand what that message says. Like, hi so and so.

So you're not going to be invited to the wedding because 10 years ago when we were teenagers, you made a comment about him being a serial cheetah and it's just uncomfortable you being there on the day. So if you can get over that, then we can still be friends. No. Get her to fuck. No, I know. I agree. I think that's shocking.

she's being controlled by him correct and he's up to no good also correct because you just don't care about you don't care about rumours or any comments if you're not guilty of anything

yeah that is factual information there you'd just laugh it off wouldn't you and just say let's spend some quality time together with your best friend because I love you and I really want to be included and it's important that she likes me because you're important to me

I just think you've done the night thing. Block and delete her. Well, her question was, what's she going to do? And she meets up with her in social situations. Well, I just probably would just say hi and continue walking. Yeah. But I mean, if they'll go to the pub together or other future weddings, whether all the other friends are going to be.

Honestly, like, I think we've all been in those sort of situations where there's people at these social events that you have to avoid or you just need to be civil with. I would honestly just be civil. I wouldn't want to cause a big flipping hoo-ha. end of the day, the guilt will eat them up alive. No, I know. They're the ones that didn't invite you to their wedding.

She definitely wants you there deep down. And also, I really hope this doesn't happen for her, of course. But you never know one day if that does happen, and he is a serial cheater. She'll come crawling right back and it'll be too little too late by then. Yeah. And I think if she does want to talk about it at one of these events, I would just be saying, like, I don't want to discuss it. You made your feelings clear.

Yeah. Like we're talking about something that happened 10 years ago. I don't know why I'm being punished. by something. Yeah. That he's either done or was known for doing previously. But I also think it's really shit

that you haven't stood your ground and said, no, she's my best friend. Why are we both bothered by that? Why are you so bothered by that? I want her there. I want her by my side on my big day. Yeah. And if you're not happy with that,

then what the fuck's the problem? I know. I think that's shocking. It is shocking. So I genuinely don't think you need to feel in any way, shape or form, like bad or guilty with the comment that you made.

I think it would come and bite them in the ass eventually. I can't remember what comments I made last week, never mind ten years ago. I know. Get over it. But that's what I mean. It's just guilt. So,

something's going to come out about him. Be civil. Just be civil and just hold your head high. Freaks. I think civil and like the bottom of the level of civil as in like, how you keep walking. Yeah. I wouldn't be like,

or just be the bigger person and be nice. I'm talking like hi that's it High and bye Yeah Correct They sit down next year I got to move

So I'm just not engaging with you anymore What do you all your other friends think If you're all in the same circle Like what do they think Surely they think it's pathetic That's a good point Like if you're all in

A social circle And you're all going out Someone's invited you out For 30th for example But they know You've no been invited to her wedding What the fuck are they thinking? Well I'll tell you what

I bet you they're not all saying what they really think because they'll want to go to this wedding. But then they were probably all bitching to each other saying that's a bit stink, isn't it? Can you imagine someone actually doing that to you because I can't? No. I think I'd get the fisty coughs out.

Well, she's just not your best mate, is she? No. I'd find that really difficult to ever let go. But by the sounds of things over the years, she's kind of, she's always, you've been second priority to her for a long time. Yeah. I think she's being in control.

by him. She's only doing things with their shared friends. And when it comes to you, you've not been priority, so fuck her anyway. And I feel like she's get trusted, she's with him. Yeah. So she's not wanting to have a social life with him not there because she wants to keep an eye on him. Potentially, yeah. Yeah. God, that was quite deep, those two dilemmas, by the way.

It was, wasn't it? But as always, we want to know your thoughts. We also think your opinions are super-duper important because it's just us two. And sometimes I listen back and think you didn't think about that. Yeah. Why don't you say that? Or what you were about to say, you got sidetracked

and didn't say it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That happens quite often. Right, so we'll end on this. Someone got back in touch about the first day etiquette. Yeah. So our first message said,

so from my experience recently, the guy's always paid in the first day and even the following few, actually. I'll always offer to buy a round of drinks. I wouldn't expect my time. tax they'd be paid for at all unless he had asked me back to his. I'd offered to pay or half in on the second date, but any guy has said no. So then she said, oh my God, girls, so after last week's chat, first date etiquette and

my previous message to you literally says I'd always offered to pay half, but any guy I'd been on a date with said no. Last night I went on a date and I bloody paid half. Shut up. He got his wallet out on the table and I went into my bag and got my purse out and he very half-heartedly said, it's okay I'll get it. And I said, no, let me pay half and he didn't argue back at all. He was more than happy to let me be half. I wanted to die inside. He's then messaged her saying, morning Ellie.

Thanks for a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And her name's not Ellie. So she sent it to us saying, nah, I'm done. Who's Ellie? So you had to pay half and then he called it. I said block until later. Is her name anything similar? It begins by an E, but it's no Ellie. So there you go. But that would annoy me the half-heartedly. It's okay I'll get it because I know you don't want to get it.

Yeah. Prick. Did you want to see her again? The message did say, thanks again for a lovely meal and chat. You're saying, so you should say thanks paid for having it. So nice. And for the weekend, really didn't want it to finish.

Have a nice week and speak soon. Oh. So I don't know. Is he wanting to see her again? Interesting. Maybe the fact that she paid half was a green friend. flag for him. Maybe. Maybe that was the test. You never know. Maybe. Anyway, thank you so much for joining us again on this week's episode. We hope you enjoy all

these amazing dilemmas. Please keep them coming because we really enjoy reading them out. We enjoy digressing. Yeah, I know. Dissecting. Dissected, but I meant digressing because we don't off, we don't. I both. As appropriate. Yeah. I've actually got something to tell you in Patreon that an app that I downloaded and signed up to. Shut up, I cannot wait to hear it. Something that's quite shocking, I would say. What? Yeah.

Seeking arrangements? No, not that. Only bans. Nothing in the sexual department of my friends. Okay, interesting. So that's something I'm going to tell you. Okay, cannot wait to hear it. So we'll see you over on Side Dish,

which is, you'll find that on Patreon on Fridays, if you want to continue this joyous conversation. If not, we will see you next week on Tuesday where hopefully we can talk more about some threesomes. What was the other question that I asked in last week's episode that I wanted to talk about today? It was the big question. What's more hurtful? Yes. So hopefully we can do that next week.

What's more hurtful? A random junk, shag or long term? An emotional texting long term. Yeah. Fling. Right then. Send it in. Lots of love.

Have a great week. See you next Tuesday. Bye. Bye. Thank you.