A Lot On Your Plate - All Sex, No Feelings: Is It Possible?

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

One of our juiciest episodes yet… is it possible to have a casual shag with no feelings? 👀We asked you to send in your stories and my god, you did not disappoint. We’re talking one night stands, situationships, threesomes, affairs, even getting paid to go on dates.We get into the reality of it all… how do you detach feelings? What do these arrangements look like? And do you genuinely enjoy casual sex?As always, we’ve got a few life updates and some follow-ups from last week’s dilemmas.Got a story or dilemma you’d like to share? Pop us a DM on socials or email [e-mail]!And remember you can sign up to Patreon for an extra episode every week plus bonus vlog-style content, competitions, group chat, early access to tickets and looooads more! See you there piggies 💖 patreon.com/ALotOnYourPlate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday Pod Piggies. Big waves of the camera if you're watching on YouTube. Hello. Thanks for that countdown. Welcome back to the best podcast in the entire world. If you're watching us on YouTube, please give us a little subscribe. And if you're watching on Spotify, you haven't got us to what I asked last week. So five-star rating, please.

We've been checking every day. If it's went up and it's not been up by one, well, I actually don't have those details. We actually don't have those stats. Anyway, on today's... Do you know what, to be fair, so it actually probably takes a while to update. Apologies. Sorry.

Yeah. sincere apologies. Anyway, on today's episode, we've got some follow-ups. One being about the scented love letters. Another one being another booty call dilemma or thoughts on our booty call conversation. And another on a dinner with friends situation. The awkward sitches.

And our topic... of today it's going to be a belter it is what have we named it all sex no feelings all sex no feelings we asked you guys last week can you have sex casually how is it how do you do it have you done it why do you not catch feelings yeah how do you tell us you have delivered i'm i actually woke up today thought i am so excited to record today love that feeling i am so i just thought so you Honestly, some of the things you sent in was a fucking gold. People just have, like, a lot of situations going on in their life. Do you know what I mean?

People have a, people really take that one chance at life and run with it. And I'm like, fair fucks you. No, I know, absolutely. I'm talking like, you know, we've got threesomes, we've got girl-on-girl action coming up. We've got fondling in cars. Just you wait, it's steamy. I loved a car fondle. Did you?

Yeah. Did you? What was a lockdown relationship, wasn't it? So you got to do what you got to do. You have got to do what you've got to do. Probably cut that out. Anyway. Anyway.

Mother's listened to this. What was I going to say there? Listen, I'm sure our mothers have done worse. No, they probably have actually. They probably have. Thinking about our mum specifically. Yeah. Polly and Susie.

Do you know what I was thinking earlier, like yesterday I was doing my hair and I thought about me, Jensen was sat next to me as I was getting ready and I just thought about me as I am now as a 35 year old woman how I am in my life and still trying to figure things out I'm still doing this the first time

like he doesn't have any idea that this is my first time being a mom and I have all these like worries and things and you know what I mean just life then I thought my mom at Jensen's age was almost 10 years younger than what I am sat there right now looking at myself in the mirror doing my hair

and I thought that woman So I was a 10-year-old as my mom was 35. Yeah. Sorry, I would have been about 8-9. I just can't. No, I know. I cannot wrap my head around that information. That as a 27-year-old woman that had a baby girl,

it's just crazy to me. No, I know. I think they have all their shit together, but they don't. Because I don't have my shit together. No, I know. And I'm eight years older than her than she was when she had me. And also, if you'd had jents, and then work with Richard, for example.

Like my mum was? Yeah, you could just be getting ready the other night to go on a date and then maybe you would have dragged them. Yeah. Doesn't matter you've got a one-year-old at home. You can still go and do that. Yeah, well... But you just don't look at your own mum thinking that is what we're saying.

No, of course. I just find it crazy. Just think it's actually mental. I know it's that phrase we always say it was her first time living too, but you actually don't ever really deep that. No, you don't. You're like, fuck me. One day, Jensen's going to have a baby potentially and be like,

oh my mom did this for me maybe when he sees his son or daughter with his... The circle of life is a strange concept. Crazy. Anyway, we digress. Anyway, we digress! We're not actually going to have a proper catch-up today because we actually vlogged it

for our monthly special on Patreon. So if you want to see what we were up to, you can head on over there. It was wholesome vibes from both of us. Like me, I did nothing. That's wholesome. No, it was cute actually But then when I do nothing

I call it wholesome And it's like actually you're just doing Fuck all Yeah but that's nice though isn't it That is nice And you came over to mine on Sunday We vlog it all anyway But it was Q we had like an Easter roast

It was really nice It was really lovely Right let's do the follow-ups then Let's go Let's start with the scented letter Yes Right This lovely listener said

Thank you so much for the device It was scented like a cheap Women's perfume him, I'm assuming his mom or his sisters. I text him and told him I had a lovely time, but I can't commit to his going any further. Cute, so she listened to our advice. Yeah, she got in touch with him and said,

I agree. No, thank you. We don't need to ghost the man. Put him out his misery. Then if it gets even more weirded, then you have the absolute right to say, hello, he's a serial killer. Hello, 999.

He's a serial killer. Do we need to put that voice on and do that? I really hope you don't sound like that, love. Right. I just knew it was going to be that cent though. Do you know what I mean? You know exactly what it's sent. I thought about it.

I thought about it. I thought about it. A male cheap version. But I love all the cheap male shit anyway. No, I know. What did you say? One million? One million.

I don't know. Anyway. Hello. Hello, sexy ladies. Sorry, let me just... Bit of context. Yes, a bit of context. We are now following up on our booty-cool dilemma from last week.

The dilemma was they had booty called her a few times now. She was feeling like maybe there's more from her side but I'm not sure how he feels. And we were like... You think the conclusion was to kind of reach out as if it was another booty call request from her end but in that moment take the chance, take the opportunity to bring up a bit of feelings chat.

But that had to be face to face though. It had to be face to face. my overall opinion especially when looking back was you're just a booty call and I hope you're okay with that right hello sexy ladies when I was 19 at uni I had a booty call situation with a guy on my course it started with us getting off at a club then running into each other at a house party and then the next day I was invited around we got on really well and I did find him very attractive sex was really good and it was just a class situation it ended as we both moved

home for summer. On the first day of the next year, we were both waiting outside a lecture hall and just caught up and very friendly. A couple of years later, we worked together, and we got closer than we had mean, but it was apparent we were friends. We never craved anything more and even joke to our colleagues that we used to sleep together. Sometimes it genuinely is just sex, and that is okay. It's not always a fairy tale romance. Yeah. I'm just not sure. Maybe we'll be convinced after this episode. I think we're going to be convinced after this episode, Zoe.

Really? I'm just not sure. I think we're downplaying women's ability to shut off from emotions and just get their whole. I'm just really not emotional though at all. No, but I think what our point is though, what we probably can't get a head around is if I was to sleep with someone, maybe now. Maybe I was a bit different to be fair

I was young But I think I would really have to Like someone to let them touch my naked body I think that's a mindset when you're in a relationship though I do think when you probably come out of it And then you're single Been single for a good few months

So whatever you're probably like fuck it Who's whattin it? Who's whattin it? In Kong rooftop Who's whatton it? On the table DJ past the mic Who's wanting it?

Honestly, here's us So we have paid money to see you do that Right, we have another one Oh right, we've got another booty call one right This was over 10 years ago FYI Knew this guy through a mutual friend Startsie chatting and then meshes got a bit spicy

When we were on separate nights out He lived about 40 minutes away so not close Every month or show I would randomly drive over and we would shag. I wouldn't ever say. We wouldn't ever drink either due to the distance and I don't think we ever even ate food, etc. Very much an excuse to wear some nice underwear

and have some mostly rough shagging. This continued on and off for a few months. He used to give me attention which I liked. We did chat about other things but honestly I don't think either of us ever had romantic feelings. We did actually go on what could be described as a date a few months in, but frankly it was just a quick meetup after uni

for a few hours and then I was drive home and he was potentially meeting someone else. Maybe it was another girl, Loll, I honestly don't know and I swear I did not give one shit. To be honest, I think it was never the sort of guy I would have wanted a relationship with or to introduce to my parents and I just really did not see him that way. There's no way he viewed me that way either or like you said in Epp he would have said. I actually remember him messaged me for a booty call when I just started going out with a boy who I'm now married to with a baby lull and I was like, oh sorry, I've actually started seeing someone

and he was so sound about it and wished me well. Anyway, I swear this was mutual on both sides. No way this man is pining for me and I do not think about him until now. Butty calls are possible without feelings, I'm sure of it. Side note, I have also been in a situation when I was probably someone's booty call and fuck me, I was in love with the guy

and wished it was different, but that's a different story. It really can be both ways in reflection. But you know that saying? Because you hear this more from guys, right? where they quite openly have sex with multiple women. And they will say, she ain't wifey or she... And in wife material? She isn't wifey material, that big fucking phrase, right?

Yeah. Maybe that's just how we think. They aren't husband material. We can't see them being our boyfriend so we can detach our emotions and we are able to just have casual, really good sex with someone. Yeah. Unfortunately, the situation with that is that some people do catch feelings

and then they don't feel like why not me? Why will he never settle down with me? Yeah, exactly. So last week we were talking a little bit about dilemmas with the bill with a group of friends at dinner table. How is it? Somebody commented to us on Patreon saying it is the most awkward thing when the bill comes. They think evenly split it.

Somebody has messages along dilemma and said, I have a dilemma after watching today's episode talking about going out for dinner with friends. Me and my friend go out once a month for a catch-up. And what we just fell into without actually discussing this was she picks a restaurant and then I pay that time round. And then I'd pick a restaurant the following month and then she would pay that time round. It wasn't me who noticed this. It was actually my husband that realized when I'm the one having to pay, she has chosen the more expensive places, i.e. Miller and Carter. Picking all these deer steaks with multiple sides.

Then when I pick, I like to try different places, even things like a pizza or a taco places, which of course, are not that expensive. I understand I could choose expensive places next time round, but half the time I don't find them worth it. And this girl is on the end of her maternity leave with no wages coming in, so savings to the rescue, and I need to use my money wisely. This month, it was my time round to pick, and she did suggest she was close by to me. So if I wanted to go for breakfast, I'd stupidly agreed, and she was only £40 for our monthly meal. Yet last month, we went out, and I was £220, pounds, sickening. It wasn't until the other day

my husband was like, nah, she's taking the utter piss, get her to fuck. She's been my friend since high school, but she's never grown up in brackets, everyone says this, out parting every weekend, spending her money on shit, which is fair dues, but she's clueless about having kids, doesn't have any, and told me when I gave birth that my life won't be that dramatically changed,

but oh, how wrong she is. How the hell do I approach this? As I hate, hate, hate, hate talking about money in situations, but I just cannot afford this anymore and I still want to enjoy the rest of my maternity off with my little one. I love the pod and please keep me anonymous. God, that's a difficult one. Well, let's be frank, she is taking the piss out of you.

Absolutely. And I will be the first to say though. I don't think anybody will ever understand the situation about having children until it happens to you. So in fairness to her, she won't understand that until that happens to her. But maybe you need to reach out and just say, look, maternity pay is very little, and I genuinely cannot afford to keep doing this. So if you pick somewhere, can we just be a little bit more mindful of what this would cost?

Because obviously, like, last month there was 220 and the week before that was only like 40. Just say it. Just say the cost that it was. And I'm sure she'll be understanding. If you never actually had that communication with each other, she might even be so oblivious to it. Yeah. She's probably not even taken into consideration how much money you've got. Because she doesn't need to know that information because it's not happening.

to her. Yeah, exactly. I think if it was me, I would probably make a joke. See when the conversation comes, like, right, where we're going to go next month. I would then use that as the opportunity to say, can we look at somewhere a bit more casual, considering my last bill was 20 and yours was 40. Yeah. Yeah.

And kind of, I guess you're kind of hoping that they pick up on that. And then if they don't, then you can maybe say when you're with her, look, baby, that was a, a joke but also kind of serious. I feel like I'm ending up with the bigger bills and I'm obviously on maternity pay. But even if you weren't, the maternity pay is actually not the point here. The point is just taking the piss out of you.

To be honest with you, actually thinking about it, the lack of self-awareness is quite alarming. Yeah, I know. I would be so hyper aware of that. No, I know. Like one week you go at Errol's Pizza and the next week you go into Tiffany's in the West End, I would be like, wait a minute.

I know. Next time round, let's go somewhere a bit more boogey or vice versa. Or you could maybe say do you mind if we still meet up once a month but just start doing halves because obviously we're going to some places which are really expensive, some places which are a bit more casual. And it feels like a bit of an uneven split most of the time.

Yeah. Because you could kind of make out as if it's just not all on you all the time. You're maybe just also aware that sometimes she has to pay more. Yeah. Even though it doesn't sound like that. But you could approach it like that and just say, do you mind if you just half it? Yeah, that's a good idea.

I think actually saying that, yeah. Going forward, let's just half things. Because then actually you're probably going to both spend similar because you might do one month a really boosy place, the next month a really casual place. But then it's the same for both of you. Yeah. And not 200 for you, 40 for her. Sure. I just don't know how you can come away from that, not knowing what you've done. I know. It's quite annoying, isn't it?

And do not start spending your savings on that. Just say point blank, I cannot afford to go out this month. I also feel that you're keeping up once a month when you're a new mum and on maternity leave as impressive as it is. I know. Never mind taking the big bills. No. Nope. Once a month also comes around quick, by the way.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Look, you're in the next month before you know it. And it's also coming out of one pay packet. Yeah. So you're budgeting for that. Mm-hmm. I get, I think you need to definitely say something to her.

But you could word it in a sort of jokey slash cheeky way where it's saying, you know, the price difference and a suggestion of how you can move forward to change it. Yeah. I would be saying the price difference thing and then saying so do you mind if moving forward would just have it. Yeah. Because it really is a contrast at times. Jeez though.

Jesus though. Users in this life. Right. Let's get into the topic. And about it. In and out. Literally. We've got a lot of in and outing.

Sexual. Right. So, we asked on our stories, I'm ready. Can you have a casual shag? All sex, no feelings, relationship. Right, okay, so we asked, do you, have you ever just casually shagged someone with zero feelings evolved? Do you do it often?

How do you detach feelings? Do you enjoy it? And what is the arrangement? Tell us every itty, bitty, titty detail. You said, we've got a few we've got quite a few right here's a couple

yes physically attracted to his willie but not him not the willie by the way I have been recently but he has got too clingy and his hairline has started to give me the boat

no it always makes you feel shit unless he's a two out of ten really right okay so she's basically shagging someone that's just a bit mingin to make

it's like what she means No, she just means you could never do it without feelings unless there are two out of ten. Right, okay, okay, fair, fair, fair, fair. Was casually sleeping with my boss for about eight months until I caught feelings, don't recommend. And if you do, don't text every day, keep it physical. Yeah. I think that's what we're going to get here. No communication apart from the arranging of the shagging.

Yep. I used to shag a married man who had an open relationship and his wife knew about me. Wow. Wow. You know the world of open relationships and swingers is like a whole different world? It's apparently a very known thing. I saw a Facebook thread recently. I don't know if it was on that like Glasgow Girls Club where somebody had anonymously posted to basically say,

my boyfriend has suggested that we open our relationship up. Like what are the thoughts on this? And the comments really took me by surprise. Really? It was obviously there was people in it like saying absolutely never like this is just people that are really truly loyal. and things like that. And people were, a lot of people in the comments were saying, it's very normal, most people they know do it.

And I thought, is this just a world that I've just not ever been? Yeah, because I don't know anyone that does that. No, I don't. I don't think most people do, but. Well, that we know of. And they're all posting anonymously, but they were saying, yeah, like. But bear in mind, they were a little bit older. Yeah.

It may be as a thing when you are just bored of each other, but you love each other. Yeah. Oh, couldn't be a little bit fair thoughts. I don't know. 100% in my early 20s for the crack. Now I couldn't think of anything worse. Teahy! I've done with an ex-boyfriend when younger,

knew he didn't work as a couple but fabulous sex law. Oh my God. I have tried, but I feel you always end up getting attached in some form if you are attracted to them. I casually shagged two of my exes' best pals for about 0 out of 10 feelings, 10 out of 10 bans. Yes, during the first COVID lockdown, I'm a nurse, and he was a police officer.

Oh my God, please tell me you got your uniforms. I saw each other in work a few times, swiped right. My car broke down one night and he picked me up. Lasted three months, knowing we were breaking the rules, made it more fun, still the best sex of my life. Life went back to normal-ish and we just stopped texting and that was that. Wow. Wow.

Right. Yes, but I had to dissociate, so no texting in between. Literally, I'm horny, are you free? Ah! Yes, but if you have multiple on the go, it means you don't catch feelings, lull, but don't recommend that either. Yeah, but you also might catch STDs, bra. Yeah, I hope you're wearing a sock. I used to do this off Tinder, and those were my only interactions of it, lull, never dated anyone off it.

I never caught any feelings because I always knew it wasn't going to be anything serious, and I could tell straight away they weren't the one all right for me. It is hard to get rid of them sometimes, though. They linger in the DMs and a couple of months later, One of them asked me for a threesome with his current girlfriend. No, thanks, love. Oh, no. My fiancé was my friends with benefits lasted a month,

then feelings kicked in three years later and a seven-month-old. Well, see, Zoe. It's just not a given. I know. It's just not a given. Right, let's do the long ones. Since I became single last August, I have been having a lot of fun.

I did the wifie thing for nine years, so allow me. After a failed short-term situation ship at Christmas, I started having casual, wild sex with a friend of a friend. He was also recently out of a relationship and I was ready to sack it all off for a bit, so we agreed just sex. We met a few times for casual sex and it was so fun. He then managed to talk me into a threesome, him and another girl.

And honestly, it was the best experience I've ever had. What? He replies flirty to my stories and sends me filthy messages now, and then. I think because we both agreed sex from the start, I knew it would never be anything. I think once you realise men are losers, then it's quite easy to just use them for sex. It isn't particularly my type either, which makes it easier, but the sex is great and no one is getting hurt. I am living my absolute hot girl's single life and I'm not even sorry for it. For all of you girls and guys out of a long-term relationship, I highly recommend being single

and having fun before rushing into anything serious. I can do what I want. I can do whoever I want without committing to anything. So I replied. I was like, no, this is a fucking iconic. Obviously, I needed to know more about girl on girl. Yeah. She put honestly, my friends can't keep up with me. So he messaged me in February saying, hey, Trouble.

And I was like, oh, here we fucking go. He said, I have recently slept with a girl who was also talking about it and asked if he knew anyone he trusted to have one with. We ended up in a group chat with some. Flirty, filthy and picks going down. What? We met that weekend. She picked me up and we'd never met.

We met him nearby and then went to his. We started it in the car. Oh my God. He was all over me from the minute I got in, so things started from the get-go. We actually all got on so well, which made things better as it was so easy and obviously I'm hilarious.

So just laugh my way through it. All I can say is the guy has got stamina. I also weirdly enjoy watching them, which I didn't know how I'd find it, but it was like watching live porn. Honestly, we went on for hours, and it was also my first girl-on-girl experience and hers too, which I've always wanted to try.

Loll. Honestly, it was such a 10 out-a-10 experience. What? He also bought as a KFC in flowers, an iconic gent with some great stamina. He'll make a great husband one day. But honestly, I just drop all this shit on my friends, and they were like,

Beeb, what the actual fuck. We always now have weekly updates about it. I've been wanting to write about my antics in for so long, but I've been waiting for the right topic to come up. That is crazy behaviour, by the way, but I love that for her. I love that for her. How amazing? Like, what a good time for her.

I know. Just embracing it and going with it and having fun. She's also a mum of two as well. Sleigh Queen! She's a mother? She is a mother. Fair, fuck she-in. Get yourself out there

and get your... I told you, your hold your hole's a goal. How amazing is that? That's a great story. But please send us in anything like this. Like I want to know, I actually would love to know more about threesome stories and is it awkward? Is it your first, like girl and girl experience?

Obviously we'll keep them all anonymous, but I'm fascinated by this world. I know this is quite an obvious question, right? Yeah. But if you were involved in a threesome And the other people are doing their bit And you're watching Yes

What you're doing when you're watching Like are you having to be sexual on yourself Or is it normal just to sit and watch Like what's the etiquette there? I know, I don't know actually Would you be I feel like maybe they would probably Like have one hand fondling you though

At the same time as you're watching Like I think they would keep you involved though Because that's the whole point of a threesome now No. I just can't tell you how awkward I would be. And it's not about, but you would get into it, no. I wouldn't. No, I just wouldn't. I don't know. It depends how if I had quite a bit of alcohol probably. I mean, maybe if there was alcohol, you could get involved, but if there wasn't.

I know we always talk about my fantasies of lesbian porn, but I actually, and I'm fascinated by this world, but I don't know if I could do girl on girl. I don't think I'd know what to do. No, I wouldn't. But then they say that and apparently you just know. Well, you know because you know what's nice for you. Yeah. But then I'd be like, oh my good? Do you want me to do it again?

Any feedback? See, before I head off, any feedback? Any learnings from that experience? How many stars out of five? What would you rate me? God, it's good on them, honestly. They keep his young. They do.

Right. Next. here we go so basically got a super like on Tinder one day and thought weird I recognised her but couldn't put two and two and two together at the point what's a super like I love

I think it's where you can yeah maybe almost like boost your like God knows probably need to pay for that she's fit so thought fuck it and liked her back it was only when I matched her back and read her bio did it click who she was we exchanged a few texts

and eventually met up two days later after she'd been out and we had a little fondle in my car. But now we love car fondles. Kinge, I know. We kept texting and kept things very casual, just meeting for sex as and when we both wanted to. Now's the time to tell you

about her bio, it said, in a loving long-term relationship with my boyfriend, but looking to experience my bisexual side. My God! Happy days for me as I was out of a long-term relationship and wanted fun. So she used to ring me and he'd be

there chatting to me as well, very odd. Anyway, went on the school run to pick my niece up one day and she came out with this girl next to me chatting away I said, oh new friends, she looks nice and my niece said yes, she is, we've got really close lo and behold, I turned around and there was a woman I'd been shagging.

I have shagged my niece's best friend's mum safe to say I no longer do the school run anymore so that's an open relationship so what app is that? Tinder? In a loving long-term relationship with my boyfriend but looking to experience my bisexual side. But then she also said that she used to ring her and he'd be there chatting away as well. Wow. People are crazy. But do you think he thought she was just a friend or do you think he knew?

I don't know. Well, I mean if you're so boldly on Tinder, somebody could screenshot that and send it to her man and be like, what she misses all about? He'll know. I think he knows and it's a bit of a... Maybe it's a kink. I think it's an experiment. I think he's allowing her to go and experiment because it's always been a what-if situation. What the hell?

People are very trusting. You know, I've got a story actually about someone that I know who lost her virginity to her now husband but before they got married he gave her a whole pass to go and shag someone because he didn't want her to ever have, marry him

and have down. that she's only ever been with him. So he let her sleep with somebody else. Right. I actually think if I remember rightly, I don't think she ever went through with it. I think she maybe had a bit of fun, but I don't think she ever actually slept with someone in the end.

Right, okay. But, yeah. And it was almost like I have a feeling that later on in life, you wonder what it's like to be with another man. And I would hate us to ever, like, break up, or if we, you know, we end up having children or crazy. easy mindset, but listen for Fawkes, if that's what, if that's how your mind works and you're cool with it, then fine. I guess it's like you've met them at the wrong time.

Well, they were together since they were really young. Yeah, so it's maybe like, and I think he'd been with other people. Yeah. So it just feels almost a bit off balance, maybe. Maybe. But also what I think so important is, I'd hate, I'd, yeah, but sorry to interrupt, but I'd hate that he would say that to me, but like, why would you want me to do that though? I know. And what I think so important is that you actually, I think the thought of wanting to would be so much more than the result of doing it. Imagine if it was shit, shag. Like, I think you would do it and then think I didn't need to experience that. And then you'd probably just feel like violated and a bit like, oh.

And a bit like you've almost cheated on your man even though he's allowed you to because actually I think when you're then in a loving relationship, like you kind of wish you had only been. with them? Maybe it was a test. Maybe it was a test. And he thought, I want to see if you actually will do it. It probably was that, you know. We're playing games, right, okay, we're playing games. Interesting.

I just struggled to know of a guy that'd be okay with that. But some people have a bit of a kink of the thought of their woman being with someone else. And maybe he almost wanted her to have a bit more experience. Like, maybe that was why important to him. Ride him dirty. Yeah, maybe you just thought you could go, maybe learn a few things. Oh my God. Come back to me, maybe be a better shag.

Maybe he thought, maybe he thought she was a shagg and thought, I love you, but I need you to be better in that department, go and learn some bits off other folk. It could really be going one way or another here. Our minds are going crazy. Who knows? Whatever floats your boat. A lot goes on in this world that we don't know about.

I know. The dark world of sex. Right. Someone said yes. with one guy. He was hot and we had crazy chemistry. But I was never going to date him as he was younger than me and not boyfriend material. I was so happy being single at the time after a long-term relationship. It was fun but then he started asking me to go out for dinner and dates etc. And I just wasn't up for it so I ended it. Yeah. So yeah, she detached. She detached hard.

See ya. Never ever thought I'd be able to. Never had a one-night stand in my full 34 years of living. Then I watched Olivia Atwood's program and got this second wind. I'm single through choice because I can't be fucked with men. No kids, good career and earning good money living away from home. So I thought fuck it and join that seeking

website. Oh, seeking arrangements. Is that what that is? Yeah. Wow. I've flown to London for two dates with this guy and get paid for a girlfriend experience. Dinner and drinks and nice places treats me good and values my time. I fly back home the next day, £600.

heavier. I'll never settle for someone's dusty ass son treating me like shite again. Wow. She's finessing. That's a bit of a an escort shall we say. Yeah. Yeah. We know someone that does the girlfriend experience. Wow. And they absolutely love it because no sex is involved. Well I apologize. It can. It can. It depends. Depends. Your rules and regulations. But some people just want to be seen in a restaurant with somebody beautiful on their arm and they will pay

they will have nice chats it's almost like they want to be feel to have that thing that they're probably missing yeah they maybe want to enjoy like a really nice restaurant but they haven't got anyone to go with

so they just pay someone to join with them that looks good six hundred pounds back up the road and you've had a nice meal would you do that's no I would never I'd be too afraid to be seen no it's not that for me

it's more just I don't enjoy interactions with people that I'm not comfortable with. Yeah. And I know she's maybe feeling comfortable with this guy after a couple of times, but just knowing that set up, I would just really struggle to snap out of like the awkwardness. To me, I feel like you've got a bit of an,

you've got like acting skills. Yeah. Going on here. It's like a transaction, isn't it? Because you're playing a part. I just can't switch that on. Just like live roleplay, essentially. Yeah.

Crazy. But I think people, people, I think if you've honestly got the skill to do that. Yeah. And you've got no relationship. 600 quid, by the way. No nothing that is like involved in that at all. Why the fuck not?

Get your, get a nice meal, a nice drink, your travel paid for, get your dough and get up the roads. What a set up? Wow. Fair fucks you. Let us know, guys, if you do this as well, like what, have you ever had to do that? I mean, I think we've spoken a little bit before about OnlyFans

and people maybe selling feet picks and things to try and cover like student bloody living in student accommodation and trying to actually just live. Yeah. But yeah, let us know if you are a fine

finessa. I have zero judgment on that side of life at all. I think do what you want to do. I think I absolutely have zero. And I actually think Olivia Atwood's program really even though she has questioned all these people

and a lot of it you're kind of like gasping at I think she actually displays it in quite a positive way almost. Yeah, of course. A lot of it, which I like for the people involved. Yeah. Good on them. Totally. Who are we to judge? So,

I have done this a couple of times. You need to get the right balance where it's someone you enjoy sleeping with, but they also have something about them that you know you wouldn't want in a partner. And I don't mean that they're a dicker because if they were, they don't deserve a shack. Correct. Yep. That helps maintain a mental

distinction between casually sleeping together slash spending time together and actually dating. You also need to not message each other all the time, as that can create a false sense of closeness. I think the above is easier when you are happy being single and are also a little bit older, so you have an understanding of the qualities and values you would need in a partner, and more importantly, what you don't want. And also, you should be in a place where you have other things going on, whether that's work or travel or pursuing goals, so they don't feel like such a prominent part of your life causing you to fix excite on them.

I love that. I love that too. Yeah. Yeah. Because I actually think that's why a lot of people end up catching feelings because they're actually shagging them to fill a void. Yeah. And that void can only be filled if we text a lot.

And you ask me to stay for dinner after then you think, yeah. Maybe he's actually a bit more into me. That's because that's what you want. Yeah. Whereas if you're not wanting that, then you're not looking for it then, are you? See, I've got a question for you then now. Another question, right, okay.

This relates and I want everyone's opinion on this because I have my opinion. If you found out your partner cheated on you, okay, what would you be more upset about? And I know you'd be upset about regardless of how it was. Would you be more upset about a one-night stand, drunken one-night stand, or finding messages, emotional connection messages

on their phone from like weeks and months, planning to meet up. You can see they've got feelings for each other. They've maybe met up. They haven't maybe actually had sex yet, but they're soberly messaging behind your back. Which one would you be more upset with? Because I know my answer.

I mean, that's a hard question. Initially, I think, the long term situation because you're actually invested in someone else. And I think I still stand by that being my more upset answer. But actually the thought of you being so fucking stupid. Yeah. When you're drunk, what you were so

drunk, you wanted to have sex with someone so badly when you could have just came home and had sex with me. Yeah. It's just as... Now what I think the difference with those two emotions from us is the shagging makes us angry. We're angry and annoyed at it. Like, we're fuming at them. The long term's so hurtful. The long term,

so hurtful. Like, that actually hurts my heart. Yeah, like I'm deep, deep, deep, a heavy heart by you. Yeah. At that thought. Because to me, the drunken shag doesn't necessarily mean you're missing anything with me. Yeah. But the long-term chat, emotional connection, you're missing something for me.

Yes. No, I do agree with you. It's different emotions, I think, if we're asking what's more hurtful, 100% long term. I also want to know if you've been in that situation

and you've moved forward. Yeah. You've not broken up. How did that move forward then? And does it ever get brought up again or have you completely swept it under the carpet? Or any tips for anybody

going through that and how they can move forward from it if they want to. People do move forward. There's things in life where they want to give a second chance, what not. But there's some people that completely cannot ever see passes.

They know themselves well enough to know that they'll never ever forgive you. Yeah. And that's also fair. I think you also know your partner well enough to know if they would forgive you for something like that. And also if they would do it again. Yeah.

They can know people that would maybe be able to forgive someone and just like what they have is enough. And I know people who would simply am out. straight away. Yeah. And they also know how they're, like, I know exactly what Jason would do

in that situation. I just know exactly how they'd act. Yeah. Never speak to you again. Yeah. Because I just, you just know, you just know. But I think that's why sometimes people do it as well

because they almost, they know they can get away with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Not always, obviously. Of course. And I'm sure someone could surprise you as well in their reactions to things,

but that is an interesting one. Yeah, let us know, please. Mm-hmm. give me next weeks. I never had a one-night stand. Was in a shitty situation ship for years, fully loyal to him. Eventually, I was like, fuck this. I'm going to have a one-night stand.

Twelve years later, we are getting married. Loll, so much for a one-night stand? Sometimes you're just no that kind of last, you know what I mean? Yeah. People just aren't that person. Brilliant. You must have been a good shack by now.

I know. Right, last one. Okay, we've got one more then. Treating us. I had a friends with benefits for two. years we would go home together after nights out or he would come over to mine every now and then would get food and do the deed i never seen him as someone i would want as a boyfriend so made it easy for me to unattach from that but i ended it because he got jealous of another guy in a night out we were

on and wouldn't admit he had feelings right guys with pride yeah there you go by the way all i got from that was you ate food and then did the deed every time i just could not i could never i'm What, you're getting like a Chinese takeaway and then you're going to go and ride each other till the dawn. I'm sorry, I'm bloated. I'm farting. Yeah. I've got garlic breath. It's the wind. Right, right, right, right.

We actually have a really cute little shout out to end on. We don't do this often, but for special people we do. Yeah, don't start sending them in. Here we go. Here we go. Hey girls. Hey. It's one of my really good pals.

weekends in just over a week. Fun. And she loves the pod. She listens every Tuesday and Friday without fail, and she's a loyal pod piggy. So we head out on the ninth. So if you could do a shout out on today, Tuesday, before it would be absolutely unreal. I hope you girls haven't recorded already. You're in luck, honey.

So the shoutout is for the absolute legend and icon that is Katie Ferguson. We can't wait to celebrate with you in a top secret location. and it's going to be an absolute riot in the best possible way. Lots of love, the hen girlies. Yay! That's so fun. Let's have a little clap. Congratulations, have the best time.

Don't do anything we wouldn't, which isn't a lot. That's fun. Listen, your challenge is do something fucking wild. We want video evidence. And we want to hear it all. Your friend has said that it's going to be a riot in the best way possible. show us then. Yeah. Challenge, accepted. Show us the money.

Right, well we hope you have a lovely time and thank you guys for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to hear more from us, we are back on Friday for Side Dish over on Patreon. Please remember to like and subscribe this episode. We would appreciate it so much. We love you. And thank you. Thanks for sending all your messages in and your dilemmas.

Keep it up. Very good content. We love. It is good content. We need this to keep this pod going. Like we said, we're back for good. and if we are going to be back for good, back for good, we need you guys stories. And like today, I absolutely love that episode so much. Yeah, that's fun. We're just wee old grannies at home every weekend. We've got nothing to bring.

Hey, honey, we're going south of France, live our hot girls at work. We are. Take that back. We're getting a yacht, I'm telling you that for nothing. Right. Okay, well, love you, bye. Bye!