A Lot On Your Plate - Ep 1: Jess' nipple adventure | People make Glasgow | Spit or Swallow

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

Welcome to our first episode!This week we talk about all things Scottish vs The English, what gives us the ick and listen to Zoe suffer for our first Spit or Swallow!Follow us on IG @alotonyourplatepodYour HostsJess (@JustJessFood)Zoe (@ZoeQuinnnn)Produced ByCobalt Creative (@cobaltcreativeuk) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the chart topic show topic the best podcast in the world We're just kidding, just get it just get it just get it Welcome to our first episode Thank you so much to everyone tune in to our pilot We had a great response thanks for so much for all the ratings The DMs and messages, it's been so wonderful. How are you today, Zoe? I'm a bit hung over.

A bit tired, but we're here. We're recording again. And I'm excited. I'm excited as well. So tell me what's been a lot on your plate recently, please. I was in London for work. So that was really busy, and it was about 35 degrees. So I was sweating the whole time.

Yeah. And we were just in a meeting room all day, so I couldn't really enjoy the sun, which was miserable. And I have a little niece. Yay! What's her name? Millie. Oh, congratulations.

Shout out to Millie. So I've just been seeing her quite a lot. And then on my physical plate, this week my favourite thing was sushi that had last night. Where was that? E sushi on Byer Road. In Glasgow. First time I've been there would recommend. That's nice.

What's been on your plate? Well, I've spent a week in Lanzarotti with some friends the past week. Friends that are not me. Friends that are not you, sorry. I'd invite you, but you declined. Did I invite you? No, he didn't. So I had a week in Lanzarotti, it was really fun.

I went with three, four friends, three of them from here in Scotland and one of my friends in Leicester, she brought her little girl, Violet. It was very wholesome half the time, and the second half, I just can't even talk about it. I was sunbathing, mind of my own business, and Violet decided to squirt me with a water gun up the port charging hole of my phone, and it decided to stop back. A few things you said in that sentence were questionable. And it decided to stop working, which wasn't fantastic. So my phone was out of use for three days,

which highly annoyed you because you needed to get in touch with me. A bit of a brace update. I can't even bring myself to say this. So, as if you've listened to the pilot episode, you will understand that a dog chewed my first retainer. I decided to take week two in week three with me to Lanzarotti because I thought I was there for a bit longer I thought I could swap it, righty, righty, rah.

Yep. Got absolutely wasted, didn't roll in until 7am and woke up. What we actually do until 7am? God knows. Zoe, the only way I know what happened was photo evidence on all the friend's phone. It was like something out of the hangover trying to piece it all together.

And then the third retainer, retainer. I decided to go to a restaurant the last night, you know, I thought I'm going to actually put week three in now and you know what? It actually fit better. Left it on the restaurant table didn't I? Messaged them the next day saying have you got it, found it, nope. They would have just left it with all the napkins. That's what they said. I knew that they definitely had it their line to me. A little bit about my night's out. Just before we went out we decided to have a group little picture. I'm wearing this lovely little oldenek woven top. Okay. Take a group photograph, slam up.

on Instagram. I think nothing of it, okay? I then, walking down the Lanzarity Strip, some guy, club promoters trying to get us into this bar. Wanted to free shot, lady, free shot. I'm like, no, I'm not coming into your shitty bar. And he says to me, goes, lady, there is something not saying hello to me,

but it's saying hi. No. I was like, what, what you're talking about? Was my erect nipple hanging out of this top? Why did you have to say a wreck? Because it was, I'm not, sticking through the top. just the left nip I was so embarrassed and mortified

that I then had to go into his bar for these free shots because I was bright red of embarrassment went into the did I leave that bar until 7 in the morning no I did not I stayed in that bar karaoke singing Mustang Sally

to an empty crowd stayed there until 7am strolling out it was just absolutely mortifying obviously you sent the picture and he must have been looking really closely but he was stood here right in front of me

I know but the top was like when it's that kind of like crochet or whatever it is you see skinned through it anyway so I know even though it was out of a wee bit but yeah it was obviously having a good snoop chaos as always and what's been on your physical plate

so my physical plate I have been eating a lot of canary and potatoes if you don't know what they are they're basically like salt baked new potatoes they're in the canary island it's like tennary flanserati what's the other one called Future Ventura.

I never know how to pronounce that thing. Fort Chaventure. I don't know. That one anyway. Fortaventura. They come with something like a green sauce and a red sauce. One's called Mojo sauce and it is dynamite. So not just like Potatoe's Pravas?

No, it's not. Okay. No. And I was sitting there mind of my own business, doing my makeup before we went on a night out. And Jess's little daughter come up to me and she went... She's such a divo, over. I'm sitting there.

So I'm wearing this little like shorts. little cropped up, she comes up to me and she whispers and she goes, Auntie Jess. I go, what? She goes, you look like you're having a baby. I was mortified. There's no more brutal honesty than a five-year-old child

and I was like, and Jess laughed her mom and was like, what did you just say? And I'm repeating it and she went, but when are you having the baby? No. I was like, you're kidding. You've just been called fat by five-year-old. I've been called fat by five-year-old. So now...

Did you change or no? Well, this is just like, you know, when you just wear something comfy to put your makeup on? Right, it's kind of like jammies situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so now I'm on a serious health kick. Right.

So basically... Thanks, Violet. Yeah, thanks for that Violet. You've really given me some confidence and a kick up the ass to lose some timber. Shout out to Violet. So, yeah. And then I've come home,

I've decided I'm going to change my life. I've bought myself about 60 self-health books on Amazon to try and help the scatterbrain. What? I've got a new book called The Six-Minute Diary. I don't know if you've seen this on Amazon. No. And it's basically, every day you go in and you write what you're grateful for,

your affirmations, things like that. Stuff like that just doesn't do it for me. Me neither, Zoe, but something has to happen. What are you writing you're grateful for? Because what I see is people saying, but you should be grateful for, like, the little things, right, which is true, like a roof over my head, like all that stuff. But I'm not writing that down every day. Why not?

Because, like, I wrote it yesterday. so like I don't need to remind myself only 24 hours later that I'm grateful for the roof over my head because you naturally feel that I think anyway and I'm taking these new vitamins that I've been trying now for about three weeks and I'm liking them I can't decide if I'm feeling quite motivated

and energized because of these but something is changing in me and I'm ready come Christmas I'm going to be a 12 out of 10 maybe it must be the vitamins I think it is but I really... I actually need to start taking them

because I did get vitamins a couple months ago, right? I spent quite a large sum of money on these vitamins that I thought would change my life and obviously you know this but I can't take tablets out. You're like a child.

It's the biggest tablet I've ever seen and it's black. Right. Like the size of it and the fact it's so dark is scaring me. Okay, okay. I see.

I see it. Like, a tablet to me is white. A light colour. Because usually I see them in their white or they're that kind of like clear way. This was just so big and black. It's scary. So I've not taken them.

Okay. I've taken none of them. I tried and it like went all that dissolved away my mouth and I had to spin it out. We need to sort that out. Yeah. So I need to try and find... Are they ones you were taking?

What size are they? They're big. There's five of them as well. So you're going to struggle. Compare it to like a paracetamo. Bigger? Right, I can't take it then. No.

That's your problem. I need to get Jason. my paracemales for me because I can't take it whole it's just too large I have a question to ask you have you been watching Love Island yes I actually did catch up

yesterday because I wasn't really doing anything during the day so you've fully caught up I think I've missed a couple but I watched Thursday and Fridays I think so it was like the baby challenge which I hate because it's just screaming babies the full episode and I've got a headache at the end last. Who do you want to win? I don't know no in fact I do Econsoe and Davidey

but I think they will win on the outside, will they? No, I know. I have a confession, obviously, I was deeply invested in it for some time. Yeah. And then, am I the drama? Like, I do not like it when they all love each other. No. I like... But it's boring. Drama. I don't know if anyone else feels the same, but as soon as they all fall in love and it gets this stage, I'm not interested anymore. No, no. I always fall away then. And then I'll watch, like, the final just because I obviously want to see who wins or whatever. I know I could hate it anywhere, but I want to see it. But I always fall away at the last week. So when is the final? Is it to know?

night or tomorrow. When this podcast goes out I think it would have been done but it was, it's Monday so it's the first of August anyway, let's get into it a lot so I've actually got a funny story just to quickly tell you about Land's

which will tie it nicely into this week's fantastic topic just to briefly go over again obviously I am very English and Zoe is from she's a motherwell lass I'm a mother well assy

which is in Glasgow for any of like the it's actually outskirts Scottish people. Is it? Oh yes, so it is. It's North Atlanticshire. And I've lived here so for seven years and as we were saying in the pilot episode, I haven't, my accent hasn't changed at all, I don't think, but I definitely pick up Scottish phrases.

There is still some that's said to me here and there that I'm always been like, wait, what did you just say? And I think it's really funny. I understand that obviously I hear primarily Glasgow slang and there's also loads of different. ones from all over. But yeah, I just thought today's episode would be really funny if we just start comparing Scottish and English slang, but mostly more Scottish. So when I was in Lanzarotti, there was a cat. Obviously there's always a cat in the villa, cat near wherever you are. Have you seen this cat before? No, never. So it doesn't hang about that villa?

No. And one of my friends I was with is highly terrified of them. So they were trying to shrew them away but you know, I'm like crazy cat lady. I was like, come on. And it was coming over and It was doing this weird meow. And it was doing this very strange meow. Anyway, Violet, little girl, was like, I want to see the cat. And then Jess, the mom was like, no, no, no, we can't, we can't stroke, straight cats, my right.

Then one of my friends, Shiv, she went, Violet, do you want to go and see, do you want to go and see the cat? She went, yeah, she went, but remember to not clap it. Me and Jess looked at each other like, what? What did you say? Remember to not clap the cat? She went, and they all looked at them and they were like, yeah, you clap a cat. how and clap is either two hands clap or fucking chlamydia mate what are you talking about you've got

the clap you've got the clap you do not say that so we were all like absolutely pissing ourselves I said this is just so funny so I would never have known that that's a Scottish thing or Glasgow or whatever it is because obviously when we ask the question on our um Instagram I guess if you're from Scotland you don't really know what you're saying is is No. So for example, when I first moved here and I got a chippy, right? They said to me, is that a supper? I'm like, a what? A chippy supper? What is that? Yeah, it's from my dinner. It's my supper. Yeah, I was like, what? Is that a supper or is it? And I'm like, uh, yeah. Got it. Not only don't have one battered sausage, I had two. Like, that's not

a thing. And the chips underneath. And the chips underneath. That's not a thing. So what actually is, as a supper basically like, do you want to make it a meal and get the chips with Is that essentially what that is? No, that's not even a thing. You just ask for sausage and chips. And your sausage doesn't come battered unless you ask. Your sausage is without the battered, and then you have to say battered sausage.

But why would you just get a normal sausage from the chippy? Why not? You go to the chippy for the greasy battered food. Only you Scottish weirdos batter a pizza on a mars bar, okay? I've never had, what do you call it, as deep-fried marge bar they say? I've never had that. that doesn't appeal to me

but I do love a pizza crunch pizza crunch and then you have tomato sauce on it no no no no no that's what I could go right now in this hung overstated so yeah so basically we asked on our Instagram

and we're going to go through a few things always going to ask me some questions but there's also quite a lot of things on here there's quite a few that I that you don't know or I've heard it but I couldn't explain like what it is and there's also a couple that I don't even think I can

pronouns. Well, I certainly can't pronounce it. When I was actually in Landa, my friend said to me, oh, I'm just going to go out and just wear these joby catchers. I went, they're cuffed joggers. And just for anyone that doesn't know what a job is, it basically means a shit. So she's basically catching her poo

in the cuff bit of the leg of the jugger. I remember though that becoming like a thing, like do you remember? when there was a phase that guys wore chinos, white converse and the Rihanna t-shirt. No. Maybe that was like a thing that happened here. Maybe. Just around here.

But every, like when I was going out of the weekend, when I was school, literally all the boys were dressed the same. It was like this Rianity shirt from Top Man, the beige kind of chinos and then the white converse. Disgusting. But joby catchers were like a thing at that point. And everyone was wearing like... Like cuff chinos?

Yeah, like they can have really baggy joggies. Okay. With the cuffs. Uh-huh. But yeah, they did call them jobby catchers. but I didn't really ever say that. There's a couple of things that I think I do say as well that's now in my lingo

and that is things like get to fuck. But I can't say it how you say it. Get to fuck. Yeah, I'd just say get to fuck. But you would, surely you say that in England but you say that as well. No, we don't. Well, what I would like dart with

is absolute iconic. Your Das El Zayvon. Is that like some sort of weird insult at school? Yeah. I actually don't know the background of it to be honest but someone wrote in excuse me

your darcell's a one and then put the best comeback you'd give someone at school like someone would just be slag and you'd be like shut your darcels avon oh you'd just say that your mum you know what's another thing people would just go your maw your maw you would just people would say something you'd just be like your maw

It's literally no sense behind it. But yeah, your dad sells Avon. I think it's just like an insult because you're no one wanting your dad to go around the door selling Avon, do you know what I mean? If anyone's doing that, it's your mum. Or no one at this point, like is Avon still a thing? I don't know. I think maybe.

All sorts of pyramid scheme. That was like the old school pyramid scheme, wasn't it, back in the day? I actually tried to do Avon when I was younger for just a little side hustle when I was at school. But my mum ended up doing it for me because I was shit. A little wee disclaimer before we go into this. There is nobody in this, on this earth, maybe apart from William Wallace, that loves Scotland more than me. Okay. That is very true.

You love it. I love it. Like, I just wish I was quite so much. I just, everything about it. Maybe more so Glasgow, because that's all I'm really familiar with. But love it, the people, everything. But there are some fucking weird things you say. And today, we're going to sort it out.

For example, why do you end your sentences with the word, but, but how? to finish with something after it. Tell me. I'm going to the short butt. No. No. That makes no sense. I honestly don't have the answer.

And I need you to all write in and tell me why you say that. So listen, I googled it last night. The word but is used to introduce a phrase or clause contrasting with what has already been mentioned in said sentence. You then proceed to say nothing. Yeah, I would say he was always an asshole bit. I think Because you don't say the word

though But we do say though Like you could say Oh he was an actual though You know that That doesn't roll off your tongue correctly No it doesn't

So it isn't play to that Okay But I don't know why Right let's go Let's go I'm gonna be conscious Hit me with some No there is something as well

Somebody said to me I had to I had to plats At the front of my hair Why do you call them pleats They're plats, mate Braids No, braids

Is a colourful thing you get in the holiday Okay, so what do you call What do you call the things that you have in your darts In your skirt Pleats A pleats This is another funny one for you Say this word

This name C-A-R-L Now say this word C-A-R-O-L C-A-R-O-L Cattle For both well we can't say

Carl well some people would but it doesn't that doesn't come naturally to me to say Carl say Carl you have to put your tongue on the roof of your mouth Carl

yeah but you don't pronounce your ars we do yeah they do Carol no but that's a different name Carol no because Carol's got an O like O L so you're saying Carol Carol whereas Carol

it's just C-A-R-R-E-R-E- You just need to say, carl. That's so funny. But you would say like, Carl. Carl, yeah. Because you don't pronounce ar in that. Right, go on in.

It's going. Sorry, I keep going into you. Would you say like Guy's peace? Shut up. Yeah. Haneck is apparently an airshire word. It basically means get it up you. Or nail up.

Get it up ye's. But would you say to someone like, ha ha get it up you as if like you deserve that? No, I would say. No. Probably would now, though, I'll probably say, yeah, probably would have to be living here. But now I think we would probably just say, ah, oh, yours, or... Yeah.

But I've never heard her neck before. Okay. So you would say something, I'd be like, ha, ha, her neck. Go on, give me more. Another one is you would say, oh, you're your mum all over the back. And that's like... Saying, like, you're... Her double?

Yeah, like, you're... That's just what you're like, that you're so like them. Right, okay. I don't really say that, but I would know, like, what someone meant if they said it. My auntie would say, my auntie says to me, you're so pecked out my ass. What? I know, and I'm like, what? What were they words you just said?

Say it again. Picked out my ass. Picked? Picked like a woodpecker? No. No. Obviously we say we all the time, like a small thing. Everything is we.

Up the road. I'm just going up the road. Yeah, now that is one thing that I had to get my head around a long time. Up the road, yeah, I would just say I'm going home now. We're going up the road now. What I do love, which I really struggled to. understand how to say it in because i don't want to say it because nobody else would understand what i'm saying but the boat or the book how you say it oh like she's giving me the book i love that

and it's like making you feel sick i love it i would maybe just say the ick yeah to be fair i think the x became more of a thing now as well for here really like when you would and also like you would say someone's fit whereas i've always thought that is quite an english thing but i think people are starting to say that here as well. What's the word that you say that means something really a weapon? Now where I'm from if we call someone a weapon it means they're absolutely gorgeous. Yeah whereas a weapon to us is like

my other way to say it's just so inappropriate it's just like so embarrassing like yeah okay cringy. Yeah it's so cringe like don't go near him he's a weapon. Okay don't you have to say that. You're like a roaster what's that? That's like the same thing that just see if someone's a roaster to me it's

quite like they're so annoying like they're so cringe and all you and like full on like too much being around them like they're a roaster they're roasting you like they're roasting your brain oh I would say you get a roasting would mean would either mean like you got hammered in terms of like

you've got a bantering like somebody was like a slagin yeah or I guess some sort of like spit roast or sexual thing you just didn't have to take it down that right now I'm sorry I was English I just what about I'm ready A riddy

Like embarrassed You get like a Like I'm hitting a riddy Like because I'm embarrassed And I'm getting like a red face What's a bulging mean? He's abulgian's like Is that not the same thing as riddy

No riddies Like if you're feeling embarrassed A bulging's like Oh I'm hitting a ruddy Like someone who's bold Oh okay So we would say Someone's abodging just if they're bold

And like they would do anything And they've got like no shame We wouldn't have a word for that either I think we would just say Oh my God I'm so embarrassed I think the problem is We shorten things into words To say like a whole sentence

Like he's a bolder you'd rather than you would say, oh, he just has no shame he would do everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we short and everything. Okay. The big one, the big one, diluting juice. No, we need to talk about this.

Just then a minute ago, our producer Graham just said to me, there's some juice in the fridge. I trot along to the fridge, just think I'm going to be pulling out some apple juice or orange juice. He's talking about fizzy pop. Fizzy pop in a can.

It's called pop. I cannot. I cannot. It's called cordial juice. stand the word pop for juice. Like I can't stand that you pop a balloon. Okay so what do you call you said to me earlier on when Starbucks

get me an apple juice. Is that a can of busy apple? Or is it apple squash? No, an apple juice is like fresh apple juice. Juice is just juice like juice is the header of all juices. Like juice is just juice and then within

juice you've got like I mean you can have categories if you want. Let's go, let's do it. Well, you could have dilutin juice. Fizzy juice. Fresh juice, fizzy juice. Okay, now you say like that, that's better. And then there's cordial, because cordial isn't dilutin juice.

Cordial is like lime cordial, like blackcurnt cordial maybe, like that you would mix with an alcohol to me. And then the old school phrase that you, which I didn't know about until probably six months ago, is a can of ginger. Oh yeah. That's like, I would say that's quite a scheme thing. It's like I would never say ginger for fizzy juice But I'm not really Like even though I'm from Motherwell right

Yeah are you sitting there talking about a scheme Even though I'm from Motherwell Otherwise called as Murder Well to some people right I would say there's two tiers And I wasn't in the lower tier Because my mum doesn't even let me swear And I'm 25 years old So I didn't say a can of ginger

I would say fizzy juice Okay But it's ginger does that mean iron brew Or does it mean like ginger beer Or does it just mean any sort of No, ginger's just fizzy juice. Yeah, diluting juice is like your apple and black currently you're putting water in. Right.

Your orange and pineapple. Because you're diluting it with the water. That's why it's called diluting juice. There's also one, when we're talking about alcohol, there is one thing that maybe anybody out there that's not Scottish, wouldn't understand if they came here. You cannot buy alcohol before 10 a.m. or after 10 p.m., unless it's in a bar.

so if you want to go before work and bring in a little bottle of Prosecco to the office for the evening you cannot buy it physically and after 10 you have to call up the little alcohol people don't you if you have a little house dialaboos

it's mental that's because you're all mad bastard and you just got up trusted that is actually why and no it's 5 and drive in England yeah you can't that's not true by the way don't say that it's gospel but you can't drink you know really there's like there is a limit

but see that limit you would go that with one drink almost so like you really just can't drink and drive at all here now and there's obviously the time limits and you can't drink on like public transport like on the trains or anything like that obviously people still do and then you also what'd you call it when you call it when you call it a cat on the train Rebecca or is it a tinny a tinny no she calls it something else a carryout oh I'm going to get my carry out yeah that's like you're going to get your booze for the weekend I need a carryout Right, okay.

Yeah, I don't really say that much actually when you think about it, but people do. Yeah. But you also can't drink on the streets in Glasgow. You can in Edinburgh. Really? Yeah, but you can in Glasgow. But that's another thing because everyone's mental.

Yeah, that is true. And also the prices. What do you mean? The prices all changed, maybe a few years ago now, actually, of alcohol it went that you had to have some per unit. It had to be minimum of, like, best cost. and that was to try and stop people buying it but obviously it didn't because you're just going to spend more money on it

and where is it is it here that you can't promote yeah Glasgow as well you can't promote happy hours no you can't have bottomless brunches I think it's happy hours as well yeah maybe both because when you can have a bottomless brunch but you've got a limit of five drinks yeah something like that and because when my the market director my work was coming over and she's from New York or she works New York I think she's from there actually

she was like let's book somewhere for a happy hour and I think to be fair that is just a phrase that they also use just for like one hour after work like an after work drink but obviously you actually don't get half I've never seen that actually thinking about it you don't get happy hours we're all crazy you are

another thing you say is I'm going to go and lift money what would you say get money out of the wall yeah but it's the wall thing people say is it a hole in the wall cash machine it's just a bank machine I think it's just... Another thing, also one more thing

that I think I definitely say now is in my vocab is patched. I patched it. We'll probably say, sacked it off. Yeah, that's definitely an English thing sacked it off. I don't think we would say that much. But other ones we say that all kind of mean the same thing

as like hack it, bogging. Bogging, I like that one. Like mock it. What's that? That's just like, if something was so dirty like if we went and like walk and our trainers were like covered in dirt I'd be like they're mock it

really I've never heard that I've not heard that phrase it's the same as like bogging or hack it really and don't you say the word mink because I say mink is an endearing phrase but you call it as somebody

that's a bit scrooty you're a bit of a mink you're a wee mink yeah but I call her mates my mate's nickname's a mink hey minky but you make

everything sound different you put on that stupid voice fuck off yeah loads of people have said starting and ending a sentence with but so what do you say if somebody's got the arse

I would say well this is probably What do you mean with got the arse okay so where I'm from in Leicester this is probably a Leicester or maybe

maybe not so much Lester but down that way Mardi so I'm she's Mardi with you? Or I've got the arse, got the hump.

Oh right, okay, like in a mood. In a mood. In a mood. So I've got one here that's from Edinburgh and they say it's Rage. Well, that's just short for raging, isn't it? Oh yeah, you say raging. That's definitely a Scottish thing. What, you wouldn't use the word raging?

Not so much as you do. I'm raging. Yeah, I would say it a lot. Like they're raging, I'm raging. Yeah, that's definitely a... Yeah, out of your. Chum me here, like, come with me. I think that's a kind of Edinburgh way.

Like, I'll chum me to the shop, I'll walk with you to the shop. I don't think I've got, I don't think Glasgow-wise, I've got, you would say that for that. I think I would just say, like, do you want to come with me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please come. Shan. This is, by the way, these are all Edinburgh, by the way.

Shan is, means that cruel. That was so Shan. What would you say that? I would say that's so stink. I would say that's shite. I bet that is just so shite. And chored, to steal something. I chored your...

Yeah, but you would say, like, you nicked it. I'd say, nicked it, yeah. I mean, I would probably just say you took it, or you stole it. Yeah. But I would say, like, a glass of Ouijian comparison would be nicked. Yeah. Shout out to Richard's friend, Flinney, there, for those Edinburgh phrases,

because I had no idea what anything were. I like this one. It's blowing a hulae. What? It's like it's blowing a hoolie out there. No, is it? See if it was like really windy. You would say like,

it's blown a hula out there. I love that. But that's like quite a wee like granny thing. What did your mum say when you were younger then when you used to come back to the house? She'd be like, it's like blackball illuminations in here. Oh yeah. Would you say that?

Yeah, yeah. Would you? When there's like, like, like, on everything yeah yeah yeah definitely would say that um okay well this is another foody thing that we have to discuss because this is across the UK board no I need to tell I need to say this one because I just think this is funny that people call pigs and blankets kilted sausages because it's like a wee yeah that's cute I like that one I haven't heard that though there was one that scunnered yeah like that

is like fed up yeah she's scunnered this is like Aber Okay. They would say fit like and that means how are you? No. Like I can't comprehend that. Hi, hi fit like. Is that Gaelic? So when I was in Ibiza one year and my pals we like became pals with a group of boys and they were from Yeah, Aberdeen and they used to always say that. What? Fit like and I was always like pardon like. I think they were calling me, they'd be saying I was fit or something. I bet, thanks.

Fit like is, how are you? I'm like, but why? Like, where is that come from? I'm sure. Because it's not even like a shortened. Like, it's not like, how's you? Like, it's totally different words. Yeah.

And then someone just said, fit, fit, fit, fit, fit, fit fit, fit. Fit, fit, fit. And that means, which foot. Which foot fits, which foot? What? Fit, fit, fit, fit, fit, fit, fit, fit. Here's another one. Foo's your do's, and that means, how are you as well?

Just say, how are you? Say that again. Foo's your do's? Fooze. No. Like, foos, F-O-O-S. You're just making all this up now. Your.

Why? I are, do's, D-W-O-S, who's your do's? And then another one that people say after, everything is like A. Yeah, they do that in like Perth. Yeah. I've noticed that.

Obviously there's like Ken. Adinny Ken. Richard says that lot. Which is like, I don't know. Adinikin. Yeah. His dad says that lot. And Richard's from the borders, like Kelso.

Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Right. I mean, I think we would say like Okay. E? What's all I mean? Okay.

Okay. I would say that as if like... Oh yeah. Okay. Or like, oh, whatever. Okay. It's just like, so soft. Okay.

Okay. And obviously you've got a classic mad wit. Mad we, I love that so much. Mad wee. Yeah. W-A-E-W. That is it? W-A-E.

Mad way, we it. Yeah, I love that one. And then we could just end. the responses with the classic ball bag you're a ball bag you're a ball bag is it all boar bags

bunch of boar bags bunch of boar bags so there is one that I need to say and it is the whole rolling sausage sausage roll bacon bat bacon butty it is

a bacon cob okay where I'm from cobs corn and the cob no where I'm from it is There's a bacon and sausage cob. I understand, though, that is only where I'm from. But some people call it breadcake. What?

Yeah, I know. A bread cake. Obviously, you've got a sandwich. You've got a roll. But where I'm from, it's like a crusty cob. But if it was a soft cob, it would be a bap. But you call it a roll. That's just a wet take.

So when people come up to here and they want to know what you call a sausage roll, as in like the pastry one. The pastry one's a sausage roll. and a roll with a sausage within the roll as a roll and sausage. Okay. So I would say a sausage roll as the pastry and then a roll and sausage

as like the roll and the sausage. Okay. But I wouldn't say anything else apart from roll. Wait, what did you say like butty? Yeah, chipped butty. That would be if it was like a chit with butter in it and it was like a chipped butty.

Bacon butter actually, yeah. Sauscious butty, yeah. I don't know if that's the thing or if I'm just... You've just heard of it. I just have heard of it because of, like, you. But I think roll. You just say roll.

And you've got, like, a soft roll or a crispy roll. Yeah, crispy. You say crispy. I say crusty. Yeah, but who wants to get a crusty? Like, if you said to me, do you want a crusty roll, I would be like, that is absolutely disgusting. Like, that's vile, no thanks.

There is one thing I will say. You Scots can do unbelievable crusty cubs. What are they called? The, what are the two brands of McGee's? McGee's, and what's the other one? Morton Morton roll Oh my God

A well-fired A well-fired We've already had this chat Well-fired Crispy roll I took my dad into Tunnocks I took my dad into these like So fucking funny and bold

But he we walked into the tonnex Bulgin He's a bulging And he walked into the Tunnox Cafe around the corner in Udingston I said to my dad That's a well-fired roll up there And then he went

What you fucking mean Bird And then the two ladies with a little apron on behind looks completely gone out. I was like, oh my God, shut up. But at that, I do actually agree because I don't enjoy any blackness on my food that's burnt to me, like, I don't want to eat that.

Do you know what I mean? It's meant to be really bad for you, but apparently it's really nice with, like, Lurpak, butter. Yeah. And, like, crisp, like, those co-opers sort of vinegar crisps and with ham or cheese. I do like a crispy roll, actually. I think I'd quite like it.

I would always have went with, I used to like the really soft, kind of like, flowery ones. Oh yeah like with the flour on top but now I would maybe choose crispy but then also we have like potato scones Oh

iconic What I don't understand is you actually can't get them in England No you cannot But England All square sausage Yeah but They've got

Tescos and Azdas and so do we So why can't they just have them Because you have Scottish food producers Even though it's the same shop They use different Yeah Yeah of course But there's definitely a demand for them

Oh, for sure, for certain. Like, my uncle lives in Nottingham, and every time he comes up or someone goes down, he literally takes back, like, packs of... That's because he's Scottish, though. I know, but there will be, like, quite a lot of people who... Are Scottish at England. Or they've been here, had it in mid...

I'm sad. Come back to Scotland. I know. I don't know. I don't know how you could do it. And then there's Iron Brew, but I think you can get that. Oh, yeah, of course. Everywhere now, really. Of course, you can. Yeah, but you never used to be able to. I love Iron Brew. I really do.

I think it's nice. I don't really mind it right but explaining me what it tastes like you can't. But same like Coca-Cola you can't describe that either. No you can't really know but because that's just such a loved thing you don't need to describe it whereas people are like yeah but what is actually I'm brew

I'm like just drinking shut up and get your kilt on while you're at it you know what I mean? What else is Scottish food? Haggis. Can't forget Haggis I love Haggis. I love haggis Haggis nips and tatties with whiskey sauce. Yep and see when you get it in a place and it's like they've layered it yeah and that's iconic yeah with the sauce over

the top we always do um like my dad my stepmom they always do like a burns night each year just because like you know like why not yeah of course not that we're robert the bruce but and she always makes it as a wee start and i just i love it and a wee dish and it's likeas bonbons when you dip it in the sauce i love a haggis bonbon i actually convinced jason to try a haggis bonbon once you know what he's like Did he like it? And he loved it. Now he loves haggis. And he'll have it as part of breakfast and stuff.

You know if you have like a fry-up. Well, would you call it a fry-up? Yeah. English breakfast. And for anyone that doesn't know what haggis is, I'm sure you will do. But if you don't... Don't look it up, just eat it. Just eat it.

We don't look at what it is because you'll never want to breathe again. Is it any more we can talk about? Does it anything else on your list? That was kind of the main ones. Yeah. That's all I've got on here, really. If anybody has any other suggestions, The suggestion's like, you know, joby, obviously we've got joby catchers.

Oh, another one is people saying, what's for tea? Okay, and people are like, is that, are you asking, like, for tea, if I want, like, milk and sugar, or you ask what I'm having for my dinner? That's also, I think, a confusion where I'm from, too. So we would say... So it's actually more like you're either brought up saying it or you're not. Yeah. It's not really a Scottish-English thing.

Yeah. What's for tea? If somebody said to me, what's for tea, I would presume they mean dinner. Yeah, if they said it, I know they would be talk about dinner, but I'm like, can you just say dinner. Like, tea's a cup of tea for me. So we also, every week, want to talk about what's on people's plates, our listeners. We'll pick one physically that we love and we'll pick one, not mentally, but...

What's been a lot on your plate at the moment, darling, darling? Yeah, like what's going on, like, a bit of a dilemma. Yeah. So I've got quite a few ones here. We have a few, but we're going to pick, we just one a week and one food discussion, so we keep it quite short and sweet. So I would like to talk about this physical one because I need to know more about the air fry. situation. Okay. So this is air-fried salmon and sticky rice bowl. Wow. That sounds a dream to me.

I love salmon and I love rice. I actually love sticky rice as well. Okay, what do you need to know about an air-friar then? I can't get my head around it. I mean, I don't have one, so I've not experimented, but... Let me give you a little quick summary. If anyone out there that is debating an air-friar, number one, you need one. They're amazing. But it's the same as you're saying, you could, if you wanted to, grill a salmon, you could bake it, you could fry it. It's It's just a different method of cooking. It actually does make it taste different, as does all those three things.

It tastes different. I would say it's more crispy and it cooks in, not kidding you, half the time. This is what I don't understand, but the main thing I don't understand is people are saying, like, oh, you cut up all your veg, you cut up all your, put all your spices in, and then you put your meat in,

and you shove it all in at the one time. Yeah, you could do that if you wanted to. Same as you could if you put it in an oven in a frying pan. But it genuinely does cook the time in half. I'm not kidding you. how if I cook, cut up raw potatoes and I want to make some wedges, they would take 40 minutes in the oven. Yeah. They take 20 minutes in an air fryer. No joke. In my ninja one anyway,

it does. It's a beast. But with my one that I've got, you can sort of like bake, you can oven. I don't use those functions because that is pretty pointless. And the negative is, it's a massive piece of equipment. Yeah. If you're not going to use it, don't bother buying one. But I would say we really enjoy using it. I really do. You just hear a lot, like a lot of people saying it's so easy, like, and it's so quick, which is why I want one. But when I was still living at home, my mum did get one, but she only really used it to try and make chips, like, in a healthier way than, like, deep, well. Deep fry, yeah. And I think... You don't have to use that much oil in it either. I think that's why she get put off,

which meant we obviously didn't really use it, and I didn't ever use it either, is that you just don't get the same, because I suppose it's not like a healthier way to fry. healthier and also it doesn't make... So you don't really get the crispy grease that you would obviously get from a deep fat dryer. It doesn't taste as good as that. So it's like that's not what you're expecting to get from it. And also it doesn't make your house smell.

Right, okay. I think because it's quite compact. Well, that sells it to me because I cannot stand. Stinky salmon. Food smells in the house that linger. I mean, obviously there's some scent, but it doesn't smell as bad. But even like... You fried it, frying makes your house weak.

Even cooking chicken a seasoning. It's actually two hours later and I can smell it and I've got every window open. candle on. Get an air fry, mate. Can you get me one for free or what? No. I don't even have a discount. I did a ninja advert.

I didn't even get a fucking 5% discount. Is their stuff not quite expensive as well? Yeah, extortion it. It looks like the best of the best, isn't it? Yeah. So then I watch on your plate dilemma. I think this one's quite good. Okay, let's do it.

Can't decide if I want to be single or not. Kind of seen someone just now, but I'm just not sure. And all I honestly have to say to that is... How old, did she say her at her age? No. but also if you are not sure then you're not into the person enough because then you'd be sure

I mean I get like depending on what age you're at it's like see if you were still quite young you're maybe like don't know if I want to get in a long deep relationship right now like I want to I've got different priorities but then it's like well don't see someone then yeah they either be you're either open to it you're not or maybe she's really enjoyed single life

and now she's thinking fuck I really like this person but I'm just not sure maybe she's never been in a relationship maybe she's not seen him enough yeah you never know they probably don't know each other quite well yet yeah i mean read a bit more background yeah we do i think if you're not sure my first thought would be he's not enough yeah i don't like him enough yeah it's not taking all the box yet there's things missing because like you just know when you know you know yeah well you definitely did don't have that way all right then but you did didn't you no but you did and you were seeing people before and you were like oh but then you met jason you were like oh my god he's the one yeah and also

I'm not like an emotional kind of person so I think if you don't believe that when you know you know things real it is for someone that doesn't really like people that much and it takes a lot yeah you're a good person to ask that advice I would just say maybe don't give up on it just yet

a couple more dates or whatever you're up to just continue it don't give up just yet because you might be really nice guy but they never know you might get the ick you might get the moke and you probably will get the ick at some point but sometimes you just need to you know

ride through the ick right through the ick why are we bonkers women aren't we you pick apart absolutely everything yeah well I've got a question to ask you what is the first thing about a guy that you notice

and if it's wrong they're out teeth but also I'm also quite shallow with things like that Like, for example, the first time I went out with Jason, he picked me up. You're not going to rip his teeth, are you? On the pod. Oh, no, he's got nice teeth.

You're okay, Jason. I'm going to say, poor, Jason. You're in a safe space here. But he'd just got a car. Right. A new car that day, which I love a car and I drive it, so thanks. But before that, he had, I'm not going to say the name, right. I don't want to offend anyone.

But he's a car that's quite like first car vibes. But we were like 23. And I was like, that would do. I have to be honest that would have just put me off like there's nothing wrong with it but it was just quite like young boy like first car vines

like you're out racing me your pals and like you've all got the same car but you've got the black wheels to try and make it like sporty I just think if anyone drives a white car aka Richard it gives me the ick

I've got a white car I don't give me the ink I like white cars for females but if a guy drives a white car I'm not as shallow as that anymore footwear trainers oh yeah oh honestly you're like hiding your feet they're nice they're nice he's got some Jordan's on

honestly and I'm not I'm like the least shallowest person when it comes to anything like I'm definitely not shallow anymore my range of my ex-boyfriends all look completely different I don't have a tie I'm not into things like that but footwear oh my gosh if your trainers aren't it you're out I know yeah agony oh I think it's just like and it's a good job which has got a trainer addiction yeah But then that actually borderline pisses me off. Yeah, that annoys you as well because it's like one step too far.

It's too much. But I like that because I'm quite like that. Yeah. I would buy trainer after trainer. Like Jason's like you literally have ones that look exactly like that. I know but the tics different colour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like it's small things. But I agree with the trainer thing actually. That's a big thing because also... It doesn't have to be trainers. Just whatever you've got on your feet. Any footwear. Like I hate like they wee slip on. No.

Like... Tom's. Do you remember Tom's? Like, you can almost see the knuckles and your toes through them. Like, why? You'd be as well wearing nice sock, toe socks. Okay. It's horrific. I hate...

No, I just can't deal with the feet. If someone was in a shop and they asked, like, do you have this and a size, whatever? And the person said, like, went away and looked. He came back and said, no. I'd be, like, swallow me. The ground needs to open up swallow me. What? I just found that so awkward.

and like it gives me the ick for the person who's asked for the size it's not their fault they don't have it but it's just that is icky like that's icky you've just asked for shuttling now you can't get it no this is what's wrong with the world women like Zoe people like me like watching someone

look through a clothes rail on a shop and they don't have the size oh oh yeah and you're like do too do too do you okay right then let's round up this week's episode just by it quickly. I've got one little thing to do to Zoe.

What? To do? Do it to me? Spit or swallow. You're going to have to make a little jingle for this. Spit or swallow. Right, stand by. Close your eyes. Why did we choose today of all days to do this, please?

You're going to need your water with you. So just quickly, to recap, I asked on, I actually found out it was actually February 2021. I asked people on Insta what was their weird food combination obsession. So if you want to keep continuing sending them in, because this is what we're going to feature on our spit or swallow section of the pod. There was loads coming in of things that they eat like, for example, this is quite a nice one maybe, but people like eating chocolate digestives and they put butter in between it and sandwich it together, things like that. Or salt and vinegar crisp with a piece of chocolate. But I went through them earlier to find the more.

Okay, that's fucking rank. When you text me earlier saying to me, I'm hoover. I thought, this is perfect. Perfect, perfect. Perfect, perfect. Perfect, perfect. I want you to close your eyes, Zoe, and I do not want you to peek. For the camera, that is watching, this is multiple people's weird obsession. I don't know when or why.

I'm going to be stuck everywhere, and I don't even know what it is. Open wide! Eat. What a fuck of that! What I'm up? What I'm that? What I'm up? No! Smolet!

Spotted it? Is that gravy granules? He's turning into gravy with your spits. Getting thicker with thicker. That is the worst thing I've ever had my mouth. But you know what I will say? I'm actually quite relieved because I thought it was like cat food or something. No!

Do that to you! This is general people's. People eat that! And I was swallowing through them and there was multiple responses saying that. I was like, no, surely not. Now when you drink that, you have a gravy in your tummy. Now that, no, that, like, what it is. It's not bad. It's okay, but see, even that that fell into my mouth.

I could have been sick everywhere. And also, this challenge just isn't good for the bevel. Right, so we're going to round up the episode now. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed episode one with myself and Mrs. Zoe hungover Quinn. And we will be back next week. We're actually about to record a second episode, and it's so exciting. I'm really looking forward to doing it.

It's going to be a little bit more on a deeper level, deeper chat. Still keeping it nice and lighthearted, but we asked you a question earlier today, and we have had so many amazing responses, so I'm really looking forward to speaking about it. So make sure you tune in next Tuesday for that one. Yep. And please just keep writing in. You can DM us, like it doesn't need to be, if we put a question up, any ideas, anything you want to hear, and keep sharing the load. Yeah, anything that you actually loved about the pod, let us know.

and we will continue doing so and if you have any other Scottish quotes that you think we may have missed we can always speak about them later we have also confirmed two exciting guests this week as well so they will be up and coming soon we've got one person flying up from London

which I'm really excited about global baby and that's it but thank you so much please remember to rate the pod comment the pod share the pod tell everyone you know thank you so much love you bye

bye Thank you.