A Lot On Your Plate - Ep 12: Mummy’s boys, big spenders and pube nails

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

This week on a lot on your plate we chat about your red flags and how men just simply, can’t do anything right…enjoy!- - - - - - - - - -Follow us on IG @alotonyourplatepodYour HostsJess (@JustJessFood)Zoe (@ZoeQuinnnn)Produced ByCobalt Media (@cobaltcreativeuk)Business Enquiries - [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the chart-topping show-stopping best podcast in the world. We're just kidding, just get it, just get it. Hello everybody and happy Tuesday. Welcome back to your favorite podcast in the entire world. My name is Jess and I have my co-host here, Zozo Quinn. Hi, Zozo. Hi. I've got something to say. I don't like the Zozo thing anymore.

Why? Zosel? No, I don't mind it in person, but I don't like it in writing. Why? Because it's just not aesthetically pleasing enough for you. Yeah, I think that's it. You really have OZD. I know.

Zoe Quinn. Thank you. How are you? I'm good. I feel really good and fresh. You do look fresh today. Well, I've had quite a chilled weekend. What did you do yesterday?

Nothing. Actually, I didn't do anything. I just cleaned the flat, head to toe. and chilled. I watched that burnt. Oh yeah, what did you think of it? I quite liked it. Yeah, easy watch, isn't it? Yeah, it's an easy watch, but it's quite, um, I think he's good. Bradley Cooper. Yeah. Yeah. I'd watch anything at the time, I know. It got really, really bad ratings on that Rotten Tomatoes.

Did it? Yeah. But I really enjoyed it. I like an easy watch, so like something's actually quite shit. Yeah. Don't need to do a lot of thinking. So on Netflix. Yep. And Friday night, I went to see my mum's show. She does show. She's very theatrical. Oh, yeah. That was nice and wholesome I went for dinner before it which I did have a bottle of wine

Well I shared a bottle of wine So I'm still on this wine thing Riva and Bodwell Oh yeah Quite nice Yeah it's quite nice in there actually Your mum's show Was it a choir show?

No the choir's a separate thing This is like an amateur Dramatics Club Thing God I love her No what was so funny is She's usually like a part in it But she wasn't this year

Because she was choreographing Like the dance routines instead So she only jumped in background when she could but when she was in it everyone's doing like 80% no she's 200% she's like she is so extra like i was just like i kept looking at jason because that's the first time he's seen it in a show i think and i wanted to see his reaction he was just like what she like and you need to apologize to everyone because you still not posted your mom was cakes on the instagram yeah sorry that was why it's because she was too busy to look through the pictures

and she's also just sold her house so everything's a bit up in the air She has. So I will put them on. The Grand Piano House has been sold. But that's not getting sold. Don't worry. Where's that going to fit? She needs to find a house that fits it.

That's what she says. She's not getting rid of it. Did she say she's keeping it? I said, are you going to get rid of that? Because you're obviously going to downsize. No, that's coming. Brilliant. She's going to need to get like an extra bedroom for that.

Anyway, so that's what I've been up to. What have you been doing? You were out, galivanting as always. Yeah, I went out in Manchester this weekend. It was fabulous. It wasn't really for my birth. It was to meet my friend, Jess, who, She lives back where I'm from in Leicester.

We meet halfway. We always meet there. And as I said, she last time, it's been three years since I climbed Killy. So we met the guy that we climbed it with as well. And a few of the friends came as well. And yeah, we had a fantastic time. I've lost my voices.

You can probably tell. Got in at half two. I had, I think, something like 10, spicy McDonald's chicken nuggets, a wrap. And I remember I was that hungry that you're just shoveling it down your neck. That was having the Diet Coke to actually like let it like digest.

I'm that much of a pick. So I had that. But that saved my life because I didn't really have that much of a hangover yesterday but had lost my voice. I think eating after a night out is make her break though. I think if you're absolutely starving and you needed it, that helps to hangover.

But see if you did have like a big dinner and then do it as well. Then you just feel crap the next day. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not really a sicky person to be honest. So yeah, I drove back up yesterday and I was meant to go to the cinema last night

to see that new horror film smile. Now I, anyone that knows me knows I will, you have to pay me good money to go and watch a horror film. film so but everyone's talking about it because it's meant to be amazing and have you seen all the marketing that they're doing at the moment yeah in like basketball games and they're just standing there like that it's so creepy I saw as a trailer when I was at the cinema last time have you seen the bit when she's in like the car and they come up to the window yeah yeah no no so

I'm I'm going to see that tonight and well rich is making me go and I'm I'm shitting myself you'll need to tell me how it is I've never I don't think I've seen a horror film ever in the cinema I don't know if I have either actually or if I have it's been you know when like they're she's just quite shit. Yeah. It's just Halloween, isn't it? Yeah. I'm not really big on Halloween.

Are you? Like, do you go to Halloween events and things? I've actually never really been out as an adult dressed up. I don't think. I did have a Halloween party in my house one time. Bleeper. Mom probably doesn't know that. And it was just like shit dress up.

But then when my friends did go out one year, I was in L.A. for work. Remember that? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And that was amazing because they go wild there. Yeah, they love it. We went to Universal on Halloween. Oh.

And that, no, that was terrifying. fine. Oh. Oh because it was like the chase one where they run after you? They chased around with like chainsaws and all that. That's traumatic. It was actually really scary. But the house decorations there are wild. Like there was one that had a swing set up with like

a fake child on the swing like swinging back and forth like creepily laughing. We were all at each other like no. Veracons are weird. But I mean I kind of like to celebrate everything as much as I can so I do pumpkins around my house which I've seen that on your Instagram. What's this one about please?

I think it's good. New little candle burners in every corner of your house. Well, we bought like a fair amount, but then obviously, like... Where from? Like B&M? Yeah, and like TK.K. Max, like, random places like that. But you know what Jason's like? He's just a massive child. He is, yeah.

He came back the next three more. I'm like, we just didn't need the extra three. You two together are just like two big kids. But they were actually wax melt, like burners that he got, which is quite good because then it smells nice. Yeah. I actually got a pumpkin spice wax melt and it smells nice. It smells tacky as hell, but love.

By the way, have you seen this new TikTok train? I know you're not massive on TikTok, but I think I actually saw it on Instagram Reels where it's, you need to ask your boyfriend or whoever you're close to, girlfriend, whatever, what they remind you of. And then they just put like loads of different collages of that particular answer.

So someone's like, I asked my boyfriend what color I would be if I was a color and then it would be like beige. And then it would be like loads and loads of different clips of beige things. What's my favorite time of the day? Blah, blah, blah. So that's why you asked me, Andrew? Yeah, so I decided to ask Richard last night.

I was flicking through Instagram and I was like, I want, Richard, I'm going to ask you some questions. And by the way, the real that I watched of this girl, it was so romantic and all the pictures were wonderful. I was like, babe, and he's like, muh. I'm like, you know, if I was a colour, what would I be? And it's like, why ask you me that? I was like, just answer these questions.

Why can you never just answer a question, please? He's like, uh, orange. I went, why? Um, because you look good when you got a tan in it. I'm like, oh, okay, thanks. What time a day would I be? Midday. Why? That's when you wake up. Then he says, Acuna.

Yeah. What would I be if I was a flower? So I was thinking he's going to picture something really beautiful. He went, what are them ones called that I've got the pollen and it goes everywhere? And it's like it makes a right mess. I went, oh, well, Lily, you went, yeah, one of them. I went, what weather would I be? And then this was nice. He went, sun, because you're like a sunshine.

I was like, okay, we're getting there, we're getting there. What food would I be? steak pie beans and chips I went why because you're warm and cozy I went so I'm basically fat and then I says what film would I be

you went to the hangover and he says honestly you just get savages and more savage it goes on what country would I be America because you've lost the plot what holiday would I be Christmas because you get all excited

you have lots of food and lots of booze and party and then you're knackered and then boom it's New Year's Eve and then you're at it again that's you a week in the life of Jess says, then I says, right, if I was an object, what would I be? What are them fucking black hair grip things called? Because they're fucking everywhere in this house

and they're annoying and I've never seen one in your hair. I was like, oh my God, thank you. I sound gorgeous. So yeah, and I said to Sarah was like, I needed to add to Jason what you are these things and she was like, he was so nice. Well, it was kind of like, come and go. Okay. So my colour is yellow because yellow equals fun. Cute. But this comes from, because SpongeBob's yellow and I remind Jason of SpongeBob. Great.

So then, I'm not sure what that means, but he loves SpongeBob. So, okay. What is it, time of year? Yeah. Winter because he likes being cozy. Yeah. Food, chocolate because I'm sweet. Yes. Weather, lightning because of my farts. Thank you. Thank you very much

Love it Yeah Oh this was interesting Flower Eucalyptus because I like saying that word What the fuck It's more about him than you Well that's just my life

It just become Everything that comes around using Yeah Time of day, night Because I'm always tired True Object Piggybank because I steal all of his money

Perfect I was like that And you like pigs And I like pigs So it works Place was Iceland because I'm always freezing I was going to say because you're cold-hearted bitch That works

Maybe that's why I'm always freezing Maybe and a film Did you do a film? Yeah the hangover Oh yeah Big because I'm a big kid at heart Nice Okay that was half nice

With the mix Quite a good mix in there Yeah so anyone listening to the part We want to hear your answers Ask whoever you are with or someone close And send us the funny objects Yeah the objects That's like the describe me in three words

Yeah. We did that and work all the time, but like you've asked the people. So this pod, we thought, we would talk a little bit about red flags because I think there's a fine line between icks and red flags. And I think red flags are a little bit more serious. Ix are just a bit more, because they can be anything, just ridiculous things. And I sat there last night and I was saying to Rich, I was like, because I was obviously thinking about what, be a red flag for a guy.

And I was thinking, I wonder if I'm any of them. And he went, what you're talking a bit? I'm sitting there like, obviously I'm annoyinging me with all these questions. He's like, what are you talking about red flags? I says, we goes, well, you're just a walking red flag. Everything that you do, you are a red flag. I was like, you're probably correct. And then I thought, I don't have a red flag.

I don't have any red flags. And Zoe said, that just says everything about me as a person. Yeah, because you just think everything's great and everyone's great. I definitely see something bad on everyone. You do. But in a don't be an idiot way. Not in like a negative. Yeah.

Because I also see the good on everyone too. Of course. But I do have a lot, but I will keep it quite. Okay, I'll have to let you steer this one because I know we can obviously talk about what everyone else broke in, but I don't really have many. Unless, actually, the only one would be if somebody said to me, they didn't like animals

or they didn't like food, I think I'd find that weird. Well, you would just find it hard to relate then, haven't you? But I mean, my biggest one, and it's especially when, obviously you think about red flags when you're first kind of seeing someone. So my main one is like, all talk, no action. Yes. Stop saying, do you want to do something,

do something to never actually do it. Okay, yeah. Or don't speak to me for eight months and never asked to meet me. That's weird. Yeah. Like, I don't want a pen pal, thanks. Yeah. You do not want a girl talk pen pal.

That's not for me. Another, which is maybe an ick thing, but slightly puts me off as shite shoes. Yeah, but that's an ick. Not that's a red flag for me. Okay. Because you obviously have no sense of the world. Yeah. Shoes is a massive thing for me, but that's more of an ick, I think.

Can't drive, no license. Yes. That's a red flag for me because, what if something happened? How would you get to me quick? Yeah. Or if something happens to your family, how would you get to me quick? you get to them quick. Yeah.

Or if I want a McDonald's after a night out, who takes me? Because the taxi driver does not. You are a diva. So you need to hold a driver's license? Yeah. I do agree with that. And the last one that I've wrote down, I mean, this, I could go on for honestly 10 hours. It's just no chat.

Yeah. I can't continue if you've got no chat. The conversation definitely needs to flow. Like you need to be funny and have a sense of humour. Yeah, a humour. It's a big thing. And don't be too nice. That puts me off. Yeah, you get the icky, don't you know that one.

I've just made myself sound great. No, I think that was totally normal unfair. Okay, I'll take that. So, yeah, we asked you guys what were your red flags, and Zoe's going to read them out because I can't find it right now. I was like, right, I'm hosting this myself today. Yes. A few, in fact, quite a lot of people have said mommy's boys.

Yeah, I've never really experienced that, to be fair, so unsure how I'd feel about it. I'm going to say I've not either just because... You love Jason's mom. The mother of Jason listens every week. Hello. We love you. I actually don't think he is really that much.

I think he's the typical boy of got everything done for him. Yeah. But he's got a sister, hasn't he? Yeah. So he's adapted to not that quite well. Whereas I think it's more when boys are like obsessed with their mum. Like, or better ask what my mum thinks or I need to go see my mum all the time. I've never experienced that in my life.

I think it's more when mums only have boys. Yeah. I have heard this. No, like girls in there. kind of balancing it out and like kind of talking them out of thinking of their boys the world. But you know, I can kind of understand as well. I think if I was a mum of boys and then, I don't know, not a lot of bothers me anyway, but I feel like if they then grew up and they were always with the girlfriend's mum's side and they had a baby, for example, they'd always give it to the

mum's because that tends to be kind of what happens, isn't it? Yeah, I suppose. I think you probably would be a little bit, I don't know, needy for your son because you want that connection. What's the saying? Like, your son's your son, until he meets a wife, your Your daughter's your daughter for life or something like that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So your son is kind of the one that leaves the family to have his own. Yeah. With the girl in their family, whereas you kind of,

girl stick with their mum a bit more. Maybe that's why, I don't know, but we've definitely got friends who really think that. Yeah, they really do. What about this? Over 25 and they ask for your Snapchat. No, that is a major red flag. And this is a shout out to any of my friends out there. Females, why have you still got Snapchat?

You're older the age of 30. Do you want to just tag me next day? Yeah, I need to. Although I'm actually not over 30, so maybe I get away with it. Yeah, you get away with it. No, I actually do want to get rid of it, but my friends have a group chat on Snapchat still. Not that we chatting, but just send stupid pictures or...

But why can't you just do on Instagram close friends? Like, I love that. I know, but I do use that a bit, but they don't. Is it because there's Snapchat filters and things? No, because I don't use that. I honestly don't know. I think it's like everyone would need you make a pack to delete it or no one can.

I don't know why it's. me so much because it shouldn't but I think it's probably because my sister who is 18 years younger than me she's what she's 14 13 14 now and she uses it all the time so I'm just probably seen it yeah I'm just probably comparing it to that but they the youngians these days they use that to chat like they don't use WhatsApp or I message or whatever it's literally Snapchat which says I'm the only person at WhatsApp so I'm like it disappears after 24 hours the chat I don't get anyone that uses I message either. I know you do, but I'm confused with that. Can I want eye messages me?

I won't see that. I'll never open that app. Weird. But I do only I message to be fair, like my mum, my brother and Jason I think. Really? Like that's it. But that's because Jason's not a big WhatsApp user. My dad doesn't have an iPhone, he's a Samsung like will not change to iPhone.

I can't even discuss any further. He texts. It's a text. It's a text. It's green. But then also, if he's sending a picture it goes to WhatsApp. So we have a bit of both going on. So then I don't know. I don't No, whether I'm coming or going with him. And then, yeah, Jason's just not a WhatsApp user. Like, his group chats are still on, like, Facebook Messenger.

Really? Yeah, my mom does that. My mom messages me on every sort of social media platform possible to try and get through to me. Yeah. So, I do get the Snapchat thing because if someone puts up a Snapchat story, I'm dead. That's me. I'm like, I've died that you're putting up a Snapchat story. Oh, so you don't put stories up now, then.

Is that not a thing? I've not put a story up for at least five years. So what do they use it for, then, just a form of communicating? I think just to send, like, your pals pictures quickly, that just then disappear. Honestly, I don't know, I'm not really on either. Guys, you're all weird. Not on it either, okay? We're wearing a seatbelt and a Glasgow taxi.

What? Safety fast. Imagine, though. Imagine if you did put a seatbelt on in a black cab. You do really get in a taxi and forget a seatbelt's a thing, don't you? That's true, actually, you do. But then Uber sometimes are like, you'd put a sheep belt on because it's beeping. Yeah, I think on Uber I would always put a belt on, actually, but a black cab, I would never.

Is there a belt in a black cab? There's no. There must be. There must be, but see, when you're sitting on the seat that you pull down, I'm like, well, that's dangerous enough. as well, keep my seat built off. Someone's like, where to start, can't drive, no ambition to act on social media, commentates with gifts,

rather than actually being an adult, apologising for being a dick. Are you single? I think this, I think a red flag as well, again, borderline it, is selfies. Now, if I go on someone's Instagram and they've got loads of, like, Jim Mirror selfies,

girls, it's only for girls. We're allowed to take as many selfies as we want. Even though I don't take that many, but when it's a full feed of guys taking selfies, I'm like, that's bizarre, you love yourself more than you could ever love me. agree. So that's a no.

And I also think the only time it is ever so slightly acceptable as if you dress cool as fuck. Yes. And your head's not in it. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just like the outfit. But that's like you've got like baggy clothes on and like big cool trainers and that. That's only way.

But the thing is though back in the day when Instagram first started, everyone did selfie. It's just become a thing. We've all just got. No. But get so icky quick. Guys in the mirror like this. On their like dating profile pics. And they've got like a blazer on with a shirt open.

No, after a sec, every real. Simon's looking at it as like, that's me. He's like, delete, delete. Delete, delete. Okay, by the way, we want to introduce Simon to the pod because I know we always speak about G, he's telling me to the fuck off. But Simon and G are business partners, so sometimes Simon, it's sometimes G. So we have Simon here today.

He's not going to say hello because he's shuddering himself. So that's why we just keep saying on for Simon. Anyway, dozo, continue. I agree with this one. when you put water into like a juice bottle. So like you've got a fanta bottle and you emptied it and you rins it out and then you fill it with water. Oh, I do that.

Jess, what? You would put water in an empty Coke bottle? If it was in my car and I was running into something I'd be like, yeah, shit, no, maybe not, maybe not. No. I don't really have empty Coke bottles. I'd have empty water bustles in my car and I'd fill it up with water.

That's water into water. It's like the water in a juice bottle. Oh, okay, sorry. Sorry, you're throwing me off with the word juice because you know that we don't, we don't say the same thing here. Juice to me, I thought you meant ribena. You're putting dilutin juice in water. So you don't mean that.

You're not pouring diluting juice into water. No, you're pouring still clear water. Into a coca zero bottle? Yes. Yeah, that's okay. So you've got the label and everything, but inside it is just water. Yeah, okay. I mean, sometimes desperate times.

No, that freaks me out. But yeah, I know what you mean, yeah. That is a bit of the ick. Being tight with money. Yeah. Not giving tips. I am probably the most generous human being on earth with money. I couldn't get shit.

And I think if somebody is, well, I do. go out with the tightest man in the world. He's Scottish, so sorry. Do you think Scottish men are tight? Well, I've had a rumour yet that they are, and then I do happen to go out with one, so potentially. I think there's like a way of being tight that I wish I was. He's a good saver.

Yeah, because Jason's the same, but he's not tight with me, so that's fine. Yeah, yeah, I need to cut him with some sack. He's not tight with me at all, actually. But I'm the one that's like, you're going to leave a tip. Right, yeah. But I don't even think I don't even think it's going to his mind because he's just like, I've paid it, let's go, and I'm like, no, no, no. Yeah. I said a Fussy eater. Welcome to my

fucking life. Like, Zoe, I categorically don't know how you go out of that man because of this. Jason, I'm calling you out. It's so bad. I could never go out with someone that wouldn't even eat rice. You're like, I just, I can't get into it anymore because it

consumed my life for a long time. And now what I've realised is there's two nights a week that one probably he's at the physical football, another he's playing football and maybe another that I'm out for dinner. So see you on the nights we don't cross over. I have my ice I have my pestle pasta

and that's fine You don't even eat Pesto pasta? Jessica The only pasta he will eat is spaghetti And I don't mean

Oh we're talking shapes We're talking shapes and textures We're not talking sauces sides ingredients We're talking shapes and textures

So you won't even eat a penny No Does he say I've never had penny Pono before Won't eat a penny Won't eat a shell

Won't even eat What's like the flat spaghetti Tagotelli Or Linguini won't even eat that only spaghetti no categorically not okay

so what we did branch out to actually was spaghetti and meatballs which was quite good and then another thing we branched out to one time was haggis sure that's come from one extreme to the other so we added that into the mix which was quite helpful as well

and what else have we added in recently we look at you what have we added in recently I'm like we even though I would eat any of this since I was three years old I'm not sure but he also likes poached eggs which I think is quite a thing. Anyway, move on because... Wow, I'm gobsmacked.

I'm going to get grasped on by his mother. Guys who are irresponsible with their money, now that is like gambling and... Oh, yeah. Obviously, like, the odd bet on the app or whatever, but when they say to the casino and stuff every weekend, I don't know that I've come across many, but that's, well, that's an issue, but yeah.

I also do think when you're young, you want a guy to, like, have a social life and drink as much as you do and blah, blah, blah. But I think when you get to a certain point, Like I wouldn't want to be with someone who was out Friday to Sunday At this age anymore Like when I was doing it didn't really care Because I wasn't seeing you anyway

But I think that's a red flag Because either like one, you don't want to spend any time with me at the weekend Why? Or two, like are you actually just miserable Because I feel they're going out and drinking for hours and days And weeks on end is like an unhappy thing Yeah Not for everyone but do you know what I mean by that?

Yeah, of course I do. Because you just want to be steaming all the time And not actually think of life Yeah, don't I have a handover every Sunday? Sounds like me. Men with their children's face is tattooed on them, please. Now, this is going to sound so fucking bad.

But Richard is going to have a tattoo in a few weeks with our cats on his leg, our children. I was like, what, their actual, like, faces? He was like, yeah. I don't know, in a Wilson on the legs. Retro's nose, but I'm just going to see it again. Aved out to hear her tattoos. Like, when are they going to end?

The only thing that isn't tattooed is his face and is, you know what? Ding dong. Ding dong. But also, the legs didn't even need happen. They didn't, I know. What was that a big thing? He got any sign I met him when he was just, like, can you fuck off? It is a humongous T-Rex.

That's it. Head. When I say humongous, it is the size of his whole thigh with a sword going through the cheek of the T-Rex or something like that. By the way, his tattoo artist is extremely talented. So this is no shame on his tattooist's work. It's just excessive. Yeah, his tattoos are good.

Yeah, they're gorgeous. And I said this to my last time I see them, remember. I'm like, I can't even see the results of the fitness fanatic. I know. Slashive weirdo that you now are. Yeah. Because I can't see anything. Can't see anything.

And when we look back at old pictures where he didn't have his, like, torso tattooed, and I'm like, wow, look at them abs. You wouldn't even know now. No, you can't see them. Anyway, he's still gorgeous. We'll let him do what he wants. Men in white jeans. Yeah.

That's an ick. I know, but I suppose. I suppose there's, like, some people are so, so, like, shallow and picky like that, like me. Yeah. Who would be, like, the first state, they can't even talk to you. Okay, right, I see. They wouldn't, you wouldn't even entertain it. Yeah, I couldn't.

Yeah. Someone else's wrote here, not liking dogs or animals in general. That is a humongous red flag. Unless they have some sort of trauma from being attacked by a dog as a child or something, that's fair. Yeah. Or they actually have a complete, they're scared of them. That's fine. Rude to waiting staff, shop, staff.

I think they spoke like this before, haven't we? that's like one of our pet peeves. I just think there's no need. No. Like, take a deep breath and get over it. Coming on too strong at the beginning, yeah, guys, you've got to play it cool. Oh, this is a red flag and not a nick 100% keeps you off his social media. Never, ever would I entertain that?

No, I am plaster all over your feet whether you like it or not. You're being hidden. No. Look, you're hid. No one can see. He's definitely messaging other girls. I'm sorry, but that's just the truth. And they're like, private life is a happy life.

No. You change it. to say oh on this day this is the conversation we haven't told each her we loved each her 10 million times yeah no no no that's that's also a red flag hears us on holiday like end of story yeah but it's when it's like it's purpose it's them away on holiday but you're not it's like you're not even there

it's like it's on his own story yeah never a nothing I do think it's fair if you don't want to post your relationship that's fine but it's when you're actively with that person somewhere and it's like you're purposely avoiding them in the shot I think the worst thing is obviously on Instagram it's this thing where when post then you can reshare that story so why can't you even do that

you're not even having to do all the position in your meal and getting the glass in and all that you just need to reshade it they're talking to someone else that's what it is yeah mm-hmm kissing his mum and sister on the lips do you find that weird I'm not sure what I will say and I'm just going to put it out there is for Scottish people completely unacceptable

do not do that you're freaking me out I can see you doing that as an English person Yeah, I do. My mum just try and kiss me in the lips sometimes, but I don't actually like it. Sorry, Mum. She does, but I'm like, yeah, I am very kissy-kissy, but yeah, I'm not, I'm not sure. Like, I'm not sure, like, I wouldn't want my dad to kiss me on the lips. Oh, no. So it's just the same thing, but... Yeah, depends what I'm in. No. Yeah, actually, should never kiss your kids on the lips anyway. Like, you shouldn't kiss a baby on the lips because it's, like, dangerous because it's so unhygienic. Is it? Mm-hmm. See, when you go out of hospital, they'll say, like, don't kiss the face. Oh, mm-hmm. Didn't know that.

Yeah, because they can catch all this stuff and people, like, die. Oh, I always kiss babies. Not on their lips, so. No, I think if you do, like, the head or... I think it's more when they're, like, a newborn fresh out the... Oh, right, okay. Moving on. Controlling.

Red flag. Yeah, big time. That's definitely one thing, I feel, because a lot of people always question me, like, oh my gosh, like, how do you live your life like you do? And then, you know, Richard's not bothered with it. And I'm like, I can do whatever I want to do. If a guy actually said to me, you're not going away with your friends, you're not going on night out, I wouldn't be with him.

No. That also would just make me do it. Exactly. And I don't really, I would never stop him doing anything either. No. Can do what you want. So I think, I know there's a fine line. If there's something happened in the relationship where you've lost a bit of trust, for example,

then you question it. Yeah. But there hasn't so. I think jealousy is a very flag too. Yeah. I think you have to have a... A little bit of their jealousy. I like the feeling.

little bit jealous sometimes. I'm like, just go on a night out and go and speak to that girl, go on. I think that's something I like lacked and when you lack it completely you know you're not interested. Right. Whereas now I wouldn't say I'm jealous

but I would say like who's the girl on the back of the picture then? Yes, yeah. But I'm joking but at least I'm asking me before I'd be like, don't give a fucking sweet turn on you go. Yeah, yeah. So like I think A little sprinkle of jealousy is quite healthy.

Yeah, if you're like into your relationship enough you will have a little bit Like Jason was in a picture with a girl at the football one Do you remember? Yeah, I remember you weren't happy with that way. I was like, sorry, who's that? That was really funny.

Drinking fizzy juice before 10 a.m. What are your thoughts on people drinking Red Bull for breakfast? Because I know there's a lot of people out there and I'm not judging. I know my little sister will literally have a monster's can by a bedside table and be sipping it throughout the night. That is minging.

But I can't physically do it. The heartburn says no. Do not drink Red Bull or Monster or any of that shit in your whole existence, never mind before breakfast. I don't mind it if a lot of people drink Monster when they have like pre-workouts or is it Monster? There's another pre-workout

can that a lot of people drink knockos. Nocos, yeah, there's another knock. A lot of people drink them. That's fair. I just think that's a little the nonsense. But... Have a banana. I have about five coffees a day that's equally as bad. My anxiety's through the roof. All of it. I'm just not involved. It's just like a hot version.

still hot version of a monster but why is it bad that we drink them because you know coffee's just as bad well not full of shy but I don't know but I'm just not on like the energy drink thing it freaks me out and the can thing leads me on to cans at the side of the bed cans and loads of glasses on the bed

so when was the last time you took them down oh yeah I have to do that every Richard keeps a lot on this bedside table but I do I have to take it every morning annoying as hell no no no no what about I actually do find this a bit of a red flag for me is when a boy constantly goes on

about how psychies ex was because then I start to think and I've seen it happen to people you are the psycho it's actually the boy that's the problem I wonder if anybody out there has ever spoken about you being the psycho ex or me

yeah I wonder if our exes I've ever spoken about to their new this is that we are a psycho ex I certainly was one I could nearly put my life on that I'm not because I'm just too chilled for it Yeah I've never really been a psycho

But I think when you were younger And you're with people when you were like Yeah I'm talking when I was young I'm like there's probably times that On a drunk night I've like kicked off and whatever And maybe that maybe the branding me cycle then But I'm like an overall psycho girl girl I'm just not sure No

I hope it's not because I really wouldn't put myself in that bracket I wouldn't say you were either But if I was I would admit it I mean loads people say they are Yeah No I'm definitely not a psycho girl but I think I've and psycho behaviour before as I'm younger.

I've also just never been a fishing around on social media for things I don't want to see. I'm just a very like, you do that, I think you're the problem, not me. Yeah. Just casually going through

their following every now and then. Oh, I do that you followed then? How do you know where? You don't go out? Why do you meet her? I've never done that. Oh my God, no, I love it. Only maybe like once every six months

a little quick checkup. What? Still now? Yes, of course I do. What? He's like, I don't know, I met, when? When? When was that? You don't talk to anyone but me? Maybe I should, maybe I'm missing something here. Trust me, there's a lot of girls out there that I'm doing the same as me.

But that probably speaks more volumes about me than him. Cycle. What about talking about exes? Yeah, red flag, I don't have that problem. I must say I think there's a fine line. I think it's also a bit of a red flag if you're so against ever. And it's not that you just bring them up for the sake. of it but I think if her situation relates

to a previous situation or even if like you pass them I'd be like my fucking god, there's my ex. I think if you didn't do that it's weird. I would rather know I'm about to walk past your ex. Yeah and I think the difference with me is I have a lot of friends that are still in circles with some of mine so if I'm talking to Richard about friends or he'd like oh how do you know that person I'm like oh they were friends with my ex or yeah but the opposite he doesn't really have an ex so. You actually just made me think. I think, I have no idea of what Richard was doing before you.

I don't. Girl-wise? Is anyone out there now? Relationship-wise? Me neither. There's a couple, but I mean, I'm not really that bothered to know because we haven't really got many mutual friends at all. Yeah, you both come from such separate lives.

It's a very ideal situation, girl, is if you want to find a guy, go on Tinder, get your radius up to 180 miles and meet someone far fucking away. It's perfect. When a guy doesn't like football. Now, this actually is probably many girls' ideal situation to not have a guy that's into sport but I think when they do tell you, you're a bit like, wow, that's a bit weird.

Why don't you like football? I'm a very, someone who's in rugby's a red flag for me. I like a football boy. Yeah, I like a football boy too. I don't get rugby. I've never understood it. And I just, I think rugby people, rugby people for me are like private school people.

They're quite posh. Football is scheme. And I love... A skiing, Crystal Boy. You're a bit rough. Yeah, I like you. Very true. That's just me.

That's just me. Yeah, I do think, I don't really come up, but I don't think I really socialise in circles with many rugby boys, so. No. But also, I'm surprised you don't think the opposite now, because football obviously is Richard's life. But he's not, he doesn't watch football. Yeah, he's actually not really a basketball.

No, really. No, but fucking CrossFit, I'm a CrossFit widow. You're also. a crossfit wanker. I'm not though. Yeah. He doesn't want to be. You push so far to try not to be and now you are. I think you think that because I hang about with the girls at the gym

but I'm not actually a crossfit wanking in the sense of like I don't sit and track what sort of weights I'm lifting that like I could not give a shit. But what that means to me is you're in the cult and you are the cult. You are now the cult. Somebody sounds jealous.

I'm not jealous of this She says sat in a crossfit gym recording this podcast. I'm like, can't wait to go? You be careful. They're coming for you. It's not happening. I'll stick to my walks. Changing passwords and not letting you see or touch their phone.

I've actually, hand on heart, never been in this relationship, being somebody, or actually any, to be honest, where I've been a phone checker. I'm not either. Like, I've never gone through his phone or really been, like, look, like, looked over his shoulder for his password. I've never experienced someone hiding a phone from the... No, I've not. His phone is always up the way, like...

Like, I can just see it when they're on it. Yeah. Like, it's just always been that way. Yeah. I think people have been in really, like, severely toxic situations. Yeah. And I can understand, you know,

when your gut instinct says something and a girl is saying, like, I did something bad, I went through his phone, but I found something. I think that's fair. It's like, if you have that good instinct, then go for it. If you think there's something there

and you really want the proof, then fine but just make sure you do something about it don't just be forgive him yeah I think yeah I agree I think you just can't just go through it for no reason yeah like it'd be a regular of course but if there is it'll be a bit shady

yeah then fair fair fox I'll be sitting there trying to find the password I'd be blocking it and be like babe why has my phone been disabled for five hours um Cat's pause. When your gut feeling is screaming.

That's what someone said. Now, yeah, exactly. If you have that feeling when you instantly meet someone, run. Run for the hills. I think I'm the red flag in this situation. Someone who doesn't have the ability to have an in-depth conversation.

You think you're that person. Yeah. At the start, I don't want to talk anything deep. Don't talk to me in a deep feeling situation. Yeah, and maybe the same actually. It makes me awkward. I don't, I can't even. look see at the start of like seeing someone

I'll probably give them one second of eye contact in three hours like I'm that awkward person who would like hug but from like the back like I would be sitting like with the back it's weird because you actually are quite a good deep person to have a chat with though no sorry you're not a deep person

you're a good person to have a deep chat with for advice and things yeah but I just don't want to do it like at the beginning of a situation or even with certain people who I just don't really want to be on a deep level with yeah I'm just like oh or when you're on a night out

and someone gets you in a deep chat and you just can't get away from them you're looking at your friends like help me help me make an excuse but it's so why do people want to do that I've no idea I mean I'm sure we've all done it but when you're on at this even end

of not being the person who wants to chat yeah it's really quite a wind up like I just want to go up and dance to the spice girls or mammaia living the dream this one's made me laugh because this has happened to me a few times but now this is what I mean

where I said I wouldn't see this as a red flag I'd be like wow discovering his mugshot on the national news website I'd be like oh my god I love him stay toxic kids he's a bit of me but I need no why he's on there because he's a thug and that's fucking gorgeous oh no I'm quite into that as well I don't mind

a bit of a thug life obviously if it was like something terrible then no but if it's a murder I'm out I don't think he'd be out meeting you true if it's just like a little you've been in a bit of a fight a bit of a brawl after the night out you're one pint too many and you win the fight I'm all in for them

I'm all in for it we're awful once I'm with you that stops but if you've done it in your previous life that excites me we are the worst kind of humans guys with long nails hold your hands up Simon

okay they're nice now my man said to me one time she says Jessica If you want to meet a lovely man Always look at his nails If they're clean and they're healthy He is going to be a good man Yeah I do have a guy They're a bit short

They give me the ick a little bit I do tell him that If you are 10 out of 10 But your nails are ming But I can't talk Because I'm a nail biter Very true I like a nail biter

But just see when you've literally got Like a pubic for a nail Like that's too far Yeah And they're dirty and that. And the skin is like bulging around the pub. Although if they are like a worker and they're working like the trade

and they're like a plumber and they're a bit rough and dirty. Oh yeah, like that. Yeah, that's kind of nice too. You really can't win. We can't win. Guys, I'm really sorry. You can do it. You can have long nails if you're this,

but you can only have short nails if you're this. Yeah. So pick your battles. Married men. Well, I mean, no shit. if a married man is coming up to you it's even worse when he took his ring off but then how do you

well you would probably find out from somebody else what's that film Adam Sandor one and he actually carries around a ring to try and get him women yeah because there are women like that yeah I can't remember I'll need to come back I'm not sure but yeah I mean you shouldn't go by a married man should you really

people saying hingy all the time you need to read this out because it's Scottish people that say hingy all the time instead of using correct words, that hingy. Oh, I do, no, I hate that as well. Yeah. Like, hingy, you know, that hing, mind when that happened. Yeah, we were at that hing.

You're like, what thing? See, people who can't finish their sentence. Guilty. And I was saying, and then we were saying that, so then when I was saying that, and then, yeah, we met up after that. I don't know anything in between that. Can you please expand and give me the information?

Someone's right here seeing this guy we went to play Babbinton and he took a fancy bottle filled with water. Yes, see. Also, imagine going to play... Babbinton? I'm not playing a sport with you and we're just seeing.

Right, Zoe. I'm never playing a sport with you. People have hobbies out there. No, everything makes me die at the start. Everything makes me die. Being in a restaurant and them ordered in their food, that makes me die. What?

That's awkward when you ask for something and they don't have it left. I would still die. I feel, you remember you saying this. I feel like, Scottish women and English women, we're a different breed to one another. Oh, you're telling me. I'm so bullsey

when it comes to things. I've got a friend as well that wouldn't even text a guy and type the words out, what time are we meeting? I would simply never do that. Sorry, no, what time are you out? And I was like, why? Why are you not going to she was like, absolutely not? I was like, why are you not going to just write what time are you out?

They were texting loads and I'm like, that doesn't make any sense to me. What else you meant to say? I wouldn't do things of that either. You women are weird. anything like I'm not giving you anything you need to give me I'm not sure I'm into this at all

like you need to like make this happen that's how it is well but it is a Scottish thing because you would just go up to someone to be like I fancy do what I'm going to do no no I wouldn't absolutely not I would go up to them and say you are gorgeous but there is nobody else in the world that would say that apart from me so that's fine

but I think if I genuinely really fancy somebody I probably wouldn't I'm just a wind up yeah true but I do think Scottish people in general have like a what's the word like they don't really want to build themselves up but they also don't want to build someone else up either I don't know how to describe it like the girl just wants to like sit back but it's not like oh you kiss my feet and do everything it's more just like it's an ego thing it's like I don't want to put it out there I want you to put it out there I don't know I don't know how to describe it but all these Scots out there will know exactly what I mean I know, I know they will.

To be fair, I have got quite a lot of friends that do say to me like, Jess, you just, you're us, but times 10. I'm a bit much, but I've got 11 or 10 out of boyfriend, so I'm fine. I'm obviously doing something right. I got him in the end, galies. He's also borderline, not fully Scottish either. No, true. He's on the border of Scotland, England.

He is. So I think that's how you get away with it. Palm Angels T-shirts, they need to get in the bin. I knew you'd say that I'm not sure I still wears them now but I will go home and put them in the bin now Yeah no But you know what it is actually

They're actually not bad t-shirts It's because that everybody's wearing them now And I'm pretty certain it's a red flag When a guy sees a girl probably all wearing I don't know whatever trend we're into That particular week He's probably thinking oh god she's one of them The problem with guys is they all buy into the same

brand same like specific t-shirt At the same time So Palm Angels is one, Essentials is another that everyone wears But that stuff is nice It is nice Rich came home with a track suit of essentials And I was quite shook

Because he does have his own little trend going on And I was like wow I'm really surprised you bought that I think he buys into the trends But it doesn't in his own way But he looks good in it But yeah I do know what you mean about the Palm Angels T-shirt Does it give us drug dealer vibes

But then again quite sexy compensates with gifts well thanks so much for listening and tuning in thank you so much cannot wait next week we have a very exciting guest coming on the part we're going to be talking all things fashion dilemmas how to build a capsule wardrobe

how to shop sustainably and maybe some of the juicy bits but you'll just have to wait and see and I bet none of you can guess so it is because it's just so mysterious same hysterias well thanks again for listening and please remember to

rate, like, share do whatever you want to do right in to us we love hearing from you and we'll see you next week see you next Tuesday again