A Lot On Your Plate - Ep 18: Portuguese Fly, Pie Man & Our Big Xmas Raffle!!

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

This week on a lot on your plate, we catch up about Jess’ recent travels to Lisbon, speak a whole lot of nonsense when discussing a random thought of the week and we finally announce our HUGE charity Christmas raffle!! Win Fitness IG - @winfitnesshamilton- - - - - - - - - -Follow us on IG @alotonyourplatepodYour HostsJess (@JustJessFood)Zoe (@ZoeQuinnnn)Produced ByCobalt Creative (@cobaltmediauk)For Business Enquiries - [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the chart-topping show-stopping best podcast in the world. We're just getting to it. Hello and welcome back to your favourite ever podcast and lots on your plates. We are now on episode 18. We have two more to go until season one is over. Don't cry too much. Hi Zoe Hi

I feel you've just dropped the season bit in without an explanation Oh yeah by the way We're doing seasons We need a break We gotta quit No we're just taking a break over Christmas So we can enjoy the festivities

Because that's just absolute hard graft And then we'll be back In time for everyone when they're like New Year, new me And I drink five litres of water a day Turn my phone off at 10pm Listen to podcast You say that every single week

I know Basically I'm talking about me she's laughing because it's like we won't give a date though we won't give a date yeah because we don't have one or when we'll be back but we will return so don't worry but we just want to say that dumb dumb dumb we have hit

over 100,000 downloads in fact we're at 1,11111 in four months no it's 111,000 that's it yeah what did I say 111 what is that? I don't know but that's 1-1-1-0-0. Do you understand how large that is? Gee, how big is a football stadium, like, the biggest football stadium in, like, the world? Is it Camp New, where it's called?

Maybe, like, 80,000 and 90,000. Wow. So we've got more than that. More listens than that? More listens than all the folk in a stadium. So thank you so much, everyone. We are flabbergasted, honestly. That's mad, though, is it not?

We did say, though, at the end of season one, 20 episodes we would like to hit 50K, I think, we said. Do you remember when we first ever said that? Probably not on recording, but we definitely said something. Wild. But I don't think we said 100 anyway. No. And then G just says one day, oh, you're really 100. And we're like, what?

I'm sorry. Just like that. That was a tone of excitement. So yeah, we just cannot cope. But thank you so much. So keep sharing, keep telling your friends about it, because that was what will help us get to season two. Yeah.

And keep having your lovely Tuesdays with us. You're all just done it. See, whilst we'd be nice, I would like to actually say that someone wrote in it, a really lovely message. I wanted to give a shout out to a friend who recommended the podcast.

And that is Jenny Timony. So thank you Jenny. That's a lovely name. We appreciate you. We do appreciate you. So what have... Well, basically, me and Zoe have not stopped seeing each other

for the past two weeks. So I feel like everything we've done together, we already know, except I've been to Lisbon, obviously. But we went to see West Life, didn't we? That was the best night in my life. My life. I had that moment when you are just enjoying your life

and you think, I fucking love my life. I'm so lucky. Do you know what it was? Sorry, we were walking. basically our friends sorted as tickets and as we were walking through the hydro we just kept fucking walking and walking and i was like i was so embarrassed to look up because i like no no no i'm actually fucking sat on Shane's lap basically it was that close i was we were third row from the front i was i was that shook that how close you were i couldn't cope with it you just

could actually watch them do you know what i mean like even if you're quite close you still end up watching a screen because obviously it's so much more closer you see like their facial expressions and all that but that was like you just watched them they were actually right there right there I could see the beads of sweat running down their forehead it was the best way to watch a concert honestly it was great

in that abba section yeah so there's always a massive abba fan and then they did a whole abba section that came out in silver waistcoats oh it was unbelievable and I also felt they were just like taking the piss out of each other whilst doing it do you know what I mean it was like a comedy sketching between each song wasn't it and it was just great but also a girl my work

I say a girl, we're women a woman in my work went to see them on Friday in Newcastle and Mark was unwelling he wasn't doing it Can you imagine? Mark? You're singing you raise me up and Mark's no there Mark is the best for me I know everyone loves Nicky and Shane

but Mark, I couldn't stop looking at him because I kept saying it, he's amazing but then also Nicky he really took that place in my heart this time. You think? He just looks like a roughy boy for the scheme didn't you? He's quite nice.

I quite like that. But yeah, I just love Mark I think that bit he does him I'm flying without wings. Yeah, great. And it's like flying with our words. That was brilliant. But that bit,

my eyes were streaming like, wow, he's hit that note hard. I don't actually remember looking at you or jelly once. No, I don't think you did. There she's mentioned their podcast again. Fuck's sake. That's why I said

our friend sought us a ticket because I didn't want to say a name. I just didn't want to say a name. I was just having a great time watching them. It was just brilliant. And I also enjoyed El Hephe's, L. Jephys. We went to El Hephys before. We just like a new Mexican restaurant in Finiston,

which is near the Hydro. I think a lot of people message me saying, where's a good place to go for dinner before the Hydro? I obviously always recommend Finestin, there's loads of nice places there. But I think if you want to get in the mood, there was a live singer there. And apart, well, it was a Sunday night,

so we thought, must be here every night. Is it every night? Seven days a week? I love live music. I went there again this weekend. Our group chat were we have like our annual Christmas thing and we were meant to go out. So we was unwell so she didn't get to come.

Again. Unwell again. I'm just not really a sick person either and that's me being physically sick. Yeah, you were throwing up. Twice properly in the last month. So she hasn't been too much of a carb queen this week. So I haven't really got a lot to ask what's been on a plate. There's nothing.

My whole body's empty. It just won't fill up anymore. Skinny. I was like, what's the perks of this? I know. Skinny regrettable. I need your diet. Yeah, so that's what we got up to

What else did we do? You went to Lisbon. Oh yeah, I went to Lisbon. Absolutely fantastic place. I've actually not asked you anything about it. I know. It was amazing, do I feel like me and Richard, right? I think all couples will probably relate to this

but the holiday me and Richard are a great me and Richard. Yeah. We get on so well. Well, everyone's just happier when they're in holiday and they're carefree. Yeah, get on so well, we just, it's like we're young love again. As soon as we get back into the house and then you see the washing baskets for,

but no, it was fine. So we went there, had the best time. The food was great at about 5,000 pastel dinata, whatever you could say it? No idea what that is. The little custard tarts. I tried every single one, so there was three places that I meant to be the best.

I tried every single one, and the one that I was the least expected to be the best was the best. But I'll post about on Instagram next week. Rained three out of the four days, which was a bit crap. Yeah, that's annoying. I also saw that you were cross-fitting. we went to a cross-foot box one day wasn't a very good workout I'm not gonna lie

no I could have done it in my can't you just take a day off I did that's probably more aimed at bitchers because you should take a day on sometimes but why why because he needs to stay fit doesn't he I guess

you're away for three days four days I don't blame him as you do I didn't want to go too fair it was nice I liked it but it was a bit boring it was a bit of a boring workout

But yeah, it was... Are you just always going to have that husky, wheezy cough? I'm still not well. It wasn't the banana ice. Maybe it was. No, I just... I think this is my voice now. And yeah, so we had an amazing week in Lisbon.

Food was great. Weather was a bit crap. But I'd like to get back in the summer. We say we want to go back for a girl's trip for our friend's Thirtia. Lots of nice rooftop bars. And I could have pictured like the sea... Not the seafront, but whatever it is, there's an area where...

There's loads of bars, but they were all closed. So I think it was out of season. Yeah, and I'd like to go to the beach. That's like 20 minutes away. I wanted to go to Cintra, but the weather was crappers. What was the other place? Porto, yeah, that's a bit further than Cintra. Apparently, it's a good change on you way, but maybe a bit further.

I think if you spent a week there, there's so many things you could do. And I spoke to lots of taxi drivers and locals and spoke to everyone in restaurants, that's that like, obviously showed them my list. This is my list. What do you think? And they were like, yep, yep, nope, nope, nope. so kind of got my list of 100 places down to 10 and I managed to take them all off, which is good.

I did see you put that in your answer to story saying you should speak to like the taxi drivers and stuff and that's actually a good hint, I think. They know everything. They're so passionate about it as well. Because they like the local places. Yeah. And I would say the Portuguese

were probably one of the nicest people I've come across. So much so that they probably spoke a bit too much and that's saying a lot coming from me. Like going to win the taxi is also a bit like, Wow, this guy hasn't stopped talking. Then we got into another taxi the following day and he was the same. They just wanted to chat and give you options.

I thought you're so nice. I think if you give any indication that you want to know about the place you are, they will tell you everything. Yeah. You'll drag by, they'll tell you a big story about it. But I do feel like a lot of the taxi drivers then gave me a business car at the end of the trip

and it was like, we do do day tours for X, Y, Z. So I thought, okay, this is sales pitch. So yeah, I came back from Lisbon, quite late. Richard went back to Manchester because he'd finally did his level two. Do you remember when I said on the pod that he was going to originally go to Barcelona and do it? Yes.

He did it in Manchester with Jenna, which is his wife. And he absolutely loved it. I've never seen someone come back so fucking excited. It was the text that you received. Guys, I received a text and in capital letters, the boy wrote, I fucking love CrossFit. That is the ick. I can't with him.

Even if someone went, I fucking love football, you would be like, shut up. And he just came back last night. He bounced through the door. He's waffled on, telling me how amazing this coach guy was. Honestly, I thought, I really wish I made you this happy. He's probably in there right now, given the class of his life. He said, PG said this morning, we were like,

he's going to come in thinking he's the best coach. He's going to act exactly like that coached him. Like, he'll take everything on board that he's seen from him. But yeah, I came back to the gym this morning Just speaking of that So I came back to CrossFit this week, new week, new me Congratulations Yeah, it was a hard workout this morning, hell

And then I had my smear I wasn't, I mean, listen At least I went, it was over in literally 10 seconds But the thought of it As the quickest thing ever Because I had to come to the gym Obviously I had to go back and shower I'm not going to then go to spread my legs

To the nurse So I went and had a shower and I was like, shit I'm going to be late Got in I was like hi and she was like oh I was like because I feel like I've not had a smear I only had a smear like two years ago

but she said to me it was back in 2015 but it definitely wasn't and then she says oh you have to put your knees close to your I'm sorry gee this is a bit TMI and then she's like no like now flop your legs literally that way

to your knees and I'm like wow this poor woman in she goes tent she said to me and she's inside me so what are you doing for Christmas day I'm like

love you for this But you're not listening to a word I'm saying. And it was, I swear, I'm alive, anyone. It was over in five seconds. And I thought, you know what, Fairfox? It is the easiest thing. It's not even that uncomfortable, but what I will say is. I've only had one because they obviously up the age.

Oh, yeah, so they have. So I only had the first one. Maybe it was last year or this year, I don't know. And they obviously then put the swab in the little, like, test tube thing. And she dropped mine, so she had to do it again. No, Zoe. I was like, it's absolutely no problem at all. she was like just get into that position again

and I was like all right fucking legs open again oh but it is fine it was just awkward but it is actually so fine yeah I feel like if anyone talks about it now I'm like I'm like an advocate like how it's fine it is yeah and she did actually say to me

as I left she went I said oh it's never that pleasant is it doing this but when you've done it you realise how easy it is and she went well at least she came she said you would never believe the amount of people that don't come and they're now changing it from three years to five years so can you just imagine like Why are they putting everything up?

Just because I think the strain on the NHS She said there's only two labs in the whole of Scotland that actually are now doing the screening results So she said it will probably take about seven to eight weeks to get my results I think that's maybe why I don't actually know, don't quote me on that way Yeah, maybe probably is.

So yeah, if you have had your letter for you smear fucking go for it because if you wait in five years time honestly it's just not worth it is it? Absolutely not. So yeah, that's it from me really. How's your Christmas decorating doing? Wonderful.

I'm having a great time So I've decorated my whole shelf. You saw my hall in the group chat. We need to post this on the Instagram because... But it's not finished yet. It's great. It'll be finished by it at the end of the week. So I've done a bit of DIY which isn't very like me.

I've put slices of orange on a string. Dried slices of orange. I didn't obviously make them. I bought them out of a packet. But put them on a string. I've hung them. I've hung little mini bells. I've got candles.

Those candles are nice, by the way. The ones with the dried oranges inside it. That was ASDA. Asda price. I think. I think Rebecca was telling me about this, aren't they the dupe of the white company candles that are like 50 quid? I don't know. And everyone's buying these ASDA ones at the minute.

What, worth the fruit inside? Yeah. I'm never seen a white company one. Anyway, I was distracted by the face. She was making me there when I was talking about my oranges. What's with the oranges? On a string. We'll have to show you.

They're like dehydrated oranges, pink orange segments. She's put a hole through the middle of it and made like a little... I can understand what I'm probably... What was like a new Christmas? Basically, why? Well, a Christmas cent is like orange cinnamon, nutmeg so I looked on Pinterest

I looked for, oh, if you know what, it's just wasted on a guy. You just don't understand but everyone else will, okay? And then what else I'm going to tell you is, honestly pathetic, is I got a jar, a glass jar and filled it with acorns.

Is that what you call them? Acorns. Dried orange. slices, cinnamon sticks and there was some other weird thing in there but I chucked it in anyway and the whole flat smell's great. That's lovely. I got this very expensive

scented orange oil that you put over your papery bowl. What's really orange? When did the orange become a Christmas thing? Look! Yes it has! It has! Orange has come from like hot climates in the summer?

Honestly I don't have the answer for you but I just I've seen it loads at Christmas time like People put it in there. Well, why is it in that bag of potpourri? Don't know. Gee, shh. He's wrong.

Anyway, I shall post a picture once it's finished. Yes, because we're going to hang our stockings there and then the tree will go up this Sunday. Speaking of trees. Speaking of trees. So, basically, I posted on my Instagram. So I'm not allowed a real tree. I think I said that in last episode.

So I posted on my Instagram about where can they get a really, really, really good fake tree that looks basically real. Lots of people were saying, You can't. However, so many people told me about this place called Balsam Hill. Never heard of it in my life. So I checked the price. I checked the website.

The prices are extortionate. One and a half grand, we're talking for a tree. Some of them weren't that expensive. They were like 300, 400, 500, whatever. But depending on like the foot of the, or if it was prelit, whatnot, and how full it was. And there's this particular one that I liked. I think it was called Blue. I can't remember.

I'll post it anyway. It was like 600 quid. I would never ever pay that. But apparently they last forever and they're really good quality and they just look really good. Lots of people were saying home-based being Q

and as it's a Black Friday there was a lot of 50% off this weekend. Anyway, I then got a message on my Instagram. I don't think I've told you who the message was from though Zoe, so stand by. So I got a message on my Instagram off a guy just basically saying

Hi Jess, I work for an auction company down in Sheffield and we basically every year they work where they work with dissolve companies that go into liquidation or they dissolve. They basically buy all their stock from them and they sell it on. There's always these balsam hill trees because they must stock them in other places. And he says, I'll get any delivery today.

It's going to be live on the auction site at 4pm. I was like, okay. So they were going to put it to auction? Yeah, there's loads of them. There's all of them on there. They're on the website right now. And you go on there and then you bid and you can get a tree that was worth something like £700 for literally 100 quid. And obviously they last you forever.

So I'm getting one seven foot pre-lit balsam hill tree for like 100. quid. That's just perfect. How fripping good is that? So I will definitely share the link to their auction page tomorrow and they're delivering it to me from England. I can't believe it. There must be loads of websites like this that do that sort of thing.

And when are you getting it? This week. You're going to put it up this week? Yeah. Friday. I can't wait to see. I have to be honest with you. When people were sending me, I was like, I actually said I want a well-priced that doesn't

cost me the earth. Fake, real looking. tree and everyone was saying this i was like you guys are having me on who on earth is going to spend that sort of money i just would never never i could be a millionaire and i probably still the amount of people that have them i was shook and the cost over the years though real tree's what 30 quid i couldn't even justify it that way it's not still doesn't add it anyway you're sorted anyway i'm getting it so i'm buzzing just a fancy little as well i haven't got to faff about with those wired lights that is a dream because that's the worst part you need to have someone

standing still and passioning them and you're walking about and too much i got stressed light in my nice garland on my shelf with my oranges hopefully it's not a scam we'll find out this week anyway I'll let you know you may or may not post a link I may or may not post a link or the tree but I didn't even get it so I'm like what the fuck is that that's nice oh I also got a cute wee tree

so you did from home base and it's like frosty and it's just to sit on a table and it's just so cute the tree you sent me a picture of in homebase actually look really decent my friend got one from there last year she just moved in her house and it's really nice the thing with fake ones is you want it to look full Yeah, that's the problem, yeah. But their ones are quite full.

Nice, that's where I've got my oranges as well. Homebase, if anyone's interested in sliced oranges. Slice dried oranges. Or you can use your air fry and dehydrate them. Right. It's unnecessary. Right, so we've decided that every single episode, because obviously I have a bizarre brain,

that I'm going to start telling you my thought of the week. And there's a lot of thoughts of the weeks that I have. But sometimes I'm too embarrassed to say them out loud because I think that nobody else thinks them. But I had a little think, okay, Have you ever thought about this, right? When you're on the plane, this probably is a thing. But there was a fly on my plane.

Yep. That fly flew from Glasgow to Lisbon, right? He survived the journey. Where does that fly then go? He's now just Portuguese. He was a Scottish fly. He's now in Portugal. Where the fuck am I?

But maybe he came from Portugal. Maybe. Maybe he's been on that flight all day. Maybe he just got a return flight back. Back and forth, back and forth. And he's actually Portuguese. But have you never thought that? No, I actually have had a thought of a fly on a flight

because I've also seen one on and that made me feel weird that you couldn't like open anything and then that fly was also stuck on that plane and then I started having on my plane thoughts and claustrophobia and all that but I have seen a fly on a flight and I did think. I reckon a fly would die that height though, no?

If they flew out of the plane at that height would it survive? I don't know, let's just say there was a window, right? I have no idea, like how high the flies fly? That's what I mean, I don't know. So that's my random thought of the week. I want to know now where that fly is. Is he met a new little Portuguese family

and making little stepkids or what? How do they communicate? I'm just going to be the one to say it. I don't think flies live like that. I think flies are lone soldiers. Right, okay, let's say if it was a bird then, it got caught in the engine. Well, it's dead.

There's feathers everywhere and it's absolutely dead. Anyway, that was my random thought of the week. Okay, I don't know if I've, I need to now have this in my head and I'll jot down mine because I definitely, I have the kind of how do the words come about and how do things start quite often, but I try not to get in it. As in, why's grass called grass, wise, like,

who came first to chicken her leg, do you know what I mean? I was saying this to Richard, Lisbon, to us is spelled L-I-S-B-O-N. It's Lisboa, L-I-S-B-O-A, yeah, in Lisbon. But why is that? Exactly, why? Why can't we all just call it Lisbon? Well, what I actually said in what they're a day Lisboa, however they say it If it's Lisboa and their language

We should call it what their language is Exactly Because we're going to them Exactly I was saying this to Richard He's like yeah but England is Angles In French and I'm like But it should be England

Everyone can say it Because Instagram is called Instagram globally Did you know that I think anyway I'm not sure about China But I believe everyone will call it Everyone will call it Instagram

Right I see Right? So why do we not call every country what each country called it? Honestly, I agree and I'm not sure but what I also thought is why can we not just all speak the same fucking language? I know.

The majority of the world speak English. I think that was because back in the day, do you all probably know the answer to this? It's a cultural thing. Yeah, no, I think it's because everyone was obviously like fighting maybe back in the day and they needed to like the escaliber language. So basically they did a language

like a scala where nobody else would understand what they were saying so they could communicate without, you know, the rivals knowing, correct? Yeah, yes. Well, we actually googled it and worked because I said that, you know, everyone looks like, I wish I didn't share that.

And it is to do with culture. It's just a cultural thing. Because someone was like, if everyone spoke the same language, the world wouldn't work. And I was like, not, it definitely would. But it would work, but. But, you know, people say, like, if money,

to do with the value of money, then the world didn't work because money makes the world go around and all that. that they were saying it's basically the same language and I was like it's actually not because everyone could just speak the same now because a lot of culture things are like historical as well

do you know what I mean? Like a lot of cultures are quite similar now whereas they used to be so different so surely you could all speak the same language now but I'm not a geographical scientist so to answer all of your questions in the past 30 things I have no idea I reckon people that listen to this

will know the answer they will know if the fly would survive and they would know why England is called English I actually respect you for not killing the fly on the flight I would never kill a fly What? No If a fly was buzzing around me the first thing I would think I'd give me a magazine and I'll whack it

No I have two cats They eat it in 10 seconds But I can't I've got to this age in my life now Where I cannot simply kill things And you know how much I hate spiders I can't do it Zoe But I've told you this

A spider you find in your flat When you lift that up and put it outside It's dead anyway Because they're house though It might not die But they're house spiders. So unless that instantly crawls back inside, it's dead.

I don't believe you. I can't do it anymore. If you started killing them maybe one day, they would run out. You'd get them anymore? I can't do it. But the only thing is, obviously, I still eat meat. But, yeah.

So, yeah, that was my random thought of the week. Right. And we did also something else together. We did the, I know we shared it on the Instagram, but we did the Win for Autism Event. I've been thinking about that since we started recording this, and I was just hoping it was never one. We need to update everyone. How was it Zoe? That was honestly I thought see when it was just

the two different exercises I thought okay. So it was wearing and burpees for anyone that's interested but it was burpying over some large bar that was unnecessary but it was a bar higher than a barbell. That didn't need be there. A wooden plank. Anyway so I did the road and I thought I can do this. I'm actually I went to the gym all week prepared myself trained so I was training and then five burpees and I had the worst stitch I've ever felt my whole entire life up both sides. You did as well. Of my stomach. And she was like I'm not taking this jumper off

all workout next week. It was off after five burpees. Well, the rowing I completed. Yeah, he did well in that. The burpees, I would say I probably did 60 out of 100. He did 65. If that. It was a really hard workout though. Thanks, she appreciate it. And if you want to know the truth, Joy, actually did awesome. Thank you very much.

She did do awesome and it was hard. as well because I think the adrenaline you've got literally about 100 people watching you do it it's quite exciting I also just think it was hot in there as well I used to do like

hit classes and circuit classes and all that kind of stuff and you do that kind of thing in it whereas now I don't do anything like that the way I exercise has completely changed so I couldn't honestly tell you the last time I'd done a burpee and I've never just choose to do it at the gym

do you know what I mean yeah no who's choosing that nobody it's a firm no I will cooperate when it's for a good cause cause and when I can be of assessment yes nothing else however the money raised

what did it reach in the end we finished on 4,200 wow and all that money as G said last episode it's all going towards the events for the next year for all the kids and the families actually I was going to ask you a question G so if there is anyone listening to this podcast

that does have like an autistic brother-sister how do they get in touch with you to then be part of that yeah so we've got a a newsletter that goes out so Jenna sends out a newsletter of when the events are and stuff so if anybody is listening

and want to just jump on the wind fitness Instagram and drop us a message and we'll add you to the mailing list right I did one of that and Zoe's brother Daniel came with her dad it was so lovely he did I actually text my dad

saying it's so loud and full of people and then next minute I turned down he was right next to me I was like sure you came I think Daniel found it a little bit overwhelming and he was a bit noisy but then when he left you wanted to come back in didn't he

then when he was going to the car I was like no dad was like what right Right, where'd I go? But you met my dad, you'd never met him before. Loved him. You're double. I know. He really is. He really is.

So I just want to speak about something that's been on my plate. I finally tried them at Krispy that we spoke about last episode in Manchester. Quite underwhelmed, I'm not going to lie. It was definitely delicious. I had the cheese on it and the extra mayonnaise that I said that you needed to have. And it was delicious. Is it like southern fried? Yeah, southern fried, yeah.

Sourdough bun, extra peppery mayo. And it was delicious, but had it was sweet. resource but it wasn't as great as everyone was making out but it was still nice okay I have to try it yeah you should and there's definitely a key right so we went out in Manchester and the girls I was with was like right we're going to get a deliverer of McDonald's and I was like simply not the only way you can get a McDonald's after a night out has to be you're making your taxi go for a drive-thru getting a McDonald's on deliverer or just the is the worst thing ever don't you think it always comes and it's just never that good it's cold it's dry it soggy soggy yeah and I kid you not

got to the drive-thro, and I said to the woman, please can I have McCrispy, I think I ordered everything, like 20 nuggets, chickens and snacks, cheese bites, and everything, okay? And then I says, but I need them to be hot. I want the out-the-friar chips. They do listen to you and you say it and it was the best McDonald's I've ever had in my life.

And you know sometimes when you wake up after a night out, you think, oh, shouldn't have had that? Not that shouldn't have had that because sometimes it makes the hangover better when you do eat, but you do feel a bit like, oh, a bit groggy. I felt on top of the fucking world. I did. I swear it was the best McDonald's ever had. I can't stop thinking about it.

The McChrysby obviously was part of that and it was delicious. I think everyone's hyped up so much. That always happens though. Is it a limited edition thing? No, I think it's replacing the chicken legend. Wow. I don't know, don't quote me on it. I mean...

I don't understand the people that say they never ate McDonald's. It's just such an easy thing to eat. I know. I have to admit, though, there was a good few years on my life where I hadn't had one. I don't really have it often. No. I don't. I definitely go through stages but after a night out it's just great. Really good. And then today I had an amazing lunch at Naked Soup. Did you see that on my Instagram? I did say that. I do like Naked Soup. It was so good. It was amazing. The soup that they do there was like sweet potato, coconut, something else and it was tomato. No, sun dried tomato, mascaponi and pasta in a soup. It was basically like a big rich Sugo sauce soup. It was amazing with a bagel, chicken, arioli.

That's the one I've had before, on you. Oh, I can't, I can't. It's such, like, a wee small, cute place as well. And have you noticed that you can drink there at night? Yeah. Like, they do them. Proper hipster in there. It is.

Very hipsa. Is it a bit too west end for us? It's very west end, yeah. You would definitely look out the wind and see someone walk around when no shoes on. Oh, brilliant percent. But yeah, I loved that. That was definitely yours, but on my plate this week, and I made myself a roast dinner. You did?

And I was shocked at the vegetables. You just had lying around the alive chicken that was. So Zoe came over. We went to Udington Food Market yesterday together and we bought some pies from the most cutest guy. Zoe, please tell them about him. He's just this cute little old guy. There's always like a cue down the whole market.

It was a bit quite yesterday so we went earlier, later. He's got no one helping him. He's like, and he must be 70 odd. Definitely. Maybe like late 70s. And he's just like he's really like grey like hardly there here. And then he's just tiny like wee round guy.

and he's just like, bang, big, yes, pet, I'll get that for your pet and then he's like putting them all in the bag and then he's got a pie chart. He has a little pie chart. You ever thought about how smart that is? Oh yeah, that is smart. And then...

I honestly love stuff. He's got a pie tub, they look like diagrams. You're so smart. And all these different, like, types of pies he has, you know, like a cross embedded in the pastry or like lines or, I don't know, a circle or whatever. And he's got a pie chart. So if you get more than one flavor,

you know what pie is what? And it's like chicken and haggis, chicken and trit. and chili chicken, steak and ale pie, curry, everything. I had steak and ale, got Jason two of the chicken and haggis with pepper corn sauce, and that's why I went, he's obsessed with him, they pies, talks about him every week. I don't even know his name to give him a shout out, but if you ever go to Udison, he must go to other food markets.

I'll tell you right now, but it is. And it's, the Uddington food markets on every last Sunday of the month, but there's loads of food markets around Glasgow, isn't there? So he must be at one of them. He needs to get someone to help him as well. When he gets his little car machine, when you can't give him cash, it breaks my heart. He's probably thinking give me cash He's probably thinking, shut up

I'm not late 70s Right, here we go He is called I'm going to follow him right now The Little Bakery Dumfries Stop it! He's got three posters No

The Little Bakery Dumfries Look at his little face On the evening standard paper Aww I actually looked up where his bakery was Once to try and get the pies And it is Dumfries

Guys he's not posted since 2016 I don't know if he's I don't know who's active anymore. Maybe he's active on Facebook. Although his tag picks, look at his tag picks. I'm just looking at that right now, and you can see... Wow. Look, there they are.

This guy doesn't need no fucking... There's the pie chart, G. It's so lot of tasty pie. It's unbelievable. We're going to get you one next time. We love you, pie man. You love you pie, man. Look at there he is G!

Let's see him. Oh, maybe he's not that old. No, he is. Anyway. Anyway. So anyway, we went to the auditing some food market together. We came back and I'd, you know what? I was having a real wholesome weekend.

I thrive when Richard's not at home. I absolutely love life. I know it sounds bad. I love living alone. So I got my oven on and I thought, I'm going to make myself a roast because, you know what? I am precious about my roast. However, it wasn't one of my best.

I have to admit, I wasn't over. I thought it was bloody great. I know. The amount of messages I received about that gravy, I am shook to my core. I can't believe it. but I thought, I don't really want to close this. You were in the kitchen for three seconds

and I came in and there was chopped carrots. There was some green thing. I don't even know what it is. Celery. He then started putting leaves on top of the chicken and then you were like, oh, you actually don't even use the vegetables. You actually just use them to make the gravy and you put it flour in and then you all swive it all swivel around

and then you put it through a sieve. And then you just talk the vegetables in the bin. That's how you make gravy. I will never cut up vegetables. Take that precious time to put them in the bin. Are you joking? No, no, no, no. You can blend it in the gravy.

If you want it to make really thick gravy, you can blend it, but I just sieve it through. You can actually blend those vegetables after and make a really nice sauce with it. Do you know what? A tub of gravy granules is just perfect. No, okay. All right then. Similar to the Let's Try Diet Coke Coke Zero. You try my gravy versus your fucking Bisto and you tell me otherwise. All you do is invite me over for a roast. It's not that difficult. But anyway, I made an amazing roast.

I even made my little cute homemade Yorkshire puddings. I did the batter. I was so proud of myself. I sat there in my living room with my little. table, pulled it up with a little knife and fork, and I was like, I am so happy right now, content, no boyfriend in my earhole, my roast dinner that I cook myself, cats, my TV, it was the perfect moment. See, this time next year, that will be minus the cats, and I probably will have a boyfriend

I'm at earhole, but that will be me because I told you, I'm going to go to patience classes. And you're going to learn to cook? And I'm going to learn to cook, and I'm going to be great in the kitchen. When you can nail homemade gravy, you've made it in life. Let me tell you that. I'm so passionate about getting good in the kitchen. I don't think you're that bad, sorry.

Bad passion that I'm not snatched, is it yet? Yeah, but you live with someone that won't try your food. He's the cook. Exactly. Says it all. So, moving on swiftly, we have an amazing announcement. So last episode we did talk about

we're going to be doing an amazing giveaway. But when I say it's amazing, it's like actual mind-blowing. And we've worked our little butts off, getting some amazing prizes in the pipeline. We have. And we're going to be doing a, a raffle. So it's going to be a raffle and the proceeds are going to go to our lovely friends at Wynn for Autism and the Trussle Trust charity. We have, Dowie, do you want to, drumroll please?

This is what you can win. We're going to have, we want to have at least around 20 winners. We don't know what we want. We want to try and spread the love to as many people as possible, but this is just some of the prizes that we have secured. And basically what will happen is there'll be, we'll share a link to a raffle which we'll follow up with and you can buy a raffle ticket which obviously goes to charity and it's up to you how many you buy. Yes.

So the more tickets, the more chance of winning. So I'm not going to tell them everything, Jessica. Okay, fine. Because I think there needs to be some next day within this. Okay, next episode then we do announce it all officially but here's just a little teaser.

So we've got an amazing overnight for you to win for two people. In Edinburgh. We won't say where though. but it's amazing. Really, really great. We have a voucher, 50 pound voucher for somewhere. We have a couple of gifts from our favourite florists, mud, festive vibes, you know what I'm saying? A little facial voucher. A very good facial voucher. You've probably seen Jess punt on about it. Which you can get available in London and Glasgow for any of our southern listeners. Our global listener.

And then we have some amazing hampers. But when we say amazing, we mean worth over 500 pounds. Like Christmas Day is sorted type hamper. That's what I'm saying. And like New Year, New Me is sorted. New Year New Me is sorted. Like new year new... Beauty regimes are sorted. Hair is sorted.

Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, if you know what we're saying? Like hair growth. And what we would also like to say is... I don't think any of these are worth under 50 quid. No, not one. We've really done well for you guys. You have.

So please get involved. And we'll share all the details ASAP once, um... We can work out how to do it. No, we will share very soon. So just as we're on the topic of Christmas, I read this really lovely meme. And I'm going to read it to you because I know we spoke about the pressures of Christmas.

Yeah, I thought this was really lovely. Money is a worry this year, so please don't fall into the trap of believing December must be all matching pyjamas, expensive suarez, perfect festive tableware, and gifts galore. Christmas is a feeling, an open door to a house full of love. It's far more wonderful than an overstretched host,

frail at the edges with worry, exhaustion and overwhelm. Keep your gift simple and thoughtful. Buy from small businesses where you can, pop a much-needed item into the food bank collection as you shop. That circle of goodwill is important right now. It will come back to you, I promise. We can ride this wave, the old-fashioned way, together, with kindness, and find joy in the moments because that's where she lives.

Isn't that nice? Oh, that's stunning. It brought a tear to a glass. Did you like that, Jay? He's like that. I mean, you said, cool, it was like, what a paragraph, but it was great. Sorry, it was paragraph.

But I read that and I thought, that is so nice. I also just think, and I feel strongly about this, get, like, for example, I mean, he told me to get it so I can say it. My dad said to get him and my stepmom just a voucher for a restaurant. He's like, that gets us it. Yeah. Like, just do that. Making memories.

Like, join things, like an experience. Doesn't it be like a fancy gift. It just simply doesn't. And another thing I also want to say about Christmas presents, because this happened to my dad a few years back and I saw it on that Zara McDermott's story. I don't know if you saw it a few weeks ago. She went shopping in, probably Harrod's or Selfage or something,

and she went into a shopping bag on her car. As she sat in the car, she was looking down at her phone. As she looked up, there was four guys, all doors. She said, she don't know why she got in a car, but she locked her daughters instantly for some bizarre reason. They were there waiting for anyone to get into their cars and they go and raid your boot and your doors as soon as you sit in your car. Never ever leave Christmas presents in your boot overnight to hide them on Christmas Eve.

because of actual people go around and they do break into your cars and steal it. It happened to my dad, Christmas Eve, about 10 years ago now. It was quite a long time ago, to be fair. But all of my sisters and stepbrother and sisters' presents, stepmoms, all gone, all stolen.

What did he say about Santa? I know. Do I think Santa's sleigh broke down that night? But yeah, sad times for him. That's terrible. It happened to the whole street. They raided all the cars. Honestly.

See if that happened to, like, even if I was old enough to know, like, I'd be, my heart would be broken for my parents or whoever. I know. Like, imagine that. So every time I've been getting in my car now since seeing Zara's story, I go in and instantly lock my door because it only locks the moment I drive off.

It doesn't lock when you sit in it. Christmas is a big time for thieves and ring doorbells as well. Rachel, my friend. Her ring doorbells are now being taken away. So she got a notification on her phone to say someone's at your thing. All she sees is a big gardener glove reaching for the doorbell. They take the ring doorbell off and they'll come back the following day to actually rob your house.

What is honestly wrong with people? I know, but it's this time of year it's rife. just need to be on the ball, lock your car as soon as you get in. Bad karma will come from all these rats. Don't keep your presents in your car, safety first. I think it's very important. Presence not get kept in the car anyway, so they get kept in Sandysley. That's true. And put down the chimneys. Yeah guys, just thought I'd let that say that one because since I saw that, that really helped me, so I thought... That's very wise of you. It is. And your professional outfit today.

I know, she's saying to me that she's never seen me in tights. I don't think I've seen myself in tights either for a long time, but I look gorgeous, so that's fine. Yeah, I actually do look quite nice, quite nice legs in tights, actually. These are the, what are they? Caledonia. Caledonia tights. No, Calzidona. Calzidonia. I don't know. Italian made tights, like, don't fray, apparently. They are about 10 quid a pair, but... You'll also find a way to fray them. Of course I will. It's me. It's time for spit or swallow.

Everybody has been so excited about this, Zoe. Apart from me. And it's payback. I'm not sure I'm not. I need you to hold your nose. What? Just because... Oh! No, Jessica Tedds, what is it?

Don't look. Can you remember that I've been severely ill for the last few days? No, no, what is it? Is it actually going to make me sick? No, no, no, no, it's going to make you sick. My heart's pulsing out my chest. Also, where are you? Right, close your nose.

Promise me it's edible for a human. I promise it's edible. For a human. Yeah. Close your nose now. I need you to open your mouth. Chew. What? Oh, is it?

It's dripping down my face. Wow, you're eating it. Is that cat food? No! Smells like it though. Is it not tuna? No. How is it? Delicious.

Is it? What is it? Well, I'm glad it's delicious because it told me it was delicious. Portugal is known for sardines. So it's tinned sardines. There's shops full of them. And this is the one in olive oil. You can get all sorts of different, but they told me to get

That is honestly lovely. They told me to get the classic... I'm taking that whole for my dinner. Really? Absolutely. That was literally about seven euro for that tin, so you better take it home and eat it. Match you have meatballs.

And they were like, oh, these are the best quality ones that we have. No, you have to try that. Okay. Everyone will be disappointed that I didn't hate it, but I think that's great. Oh my God, they're amazing! I think that's so good. It's like soft buttery tuna.

That is? It's like fancy tuna. Mmm. Imagine that on like a little oat cake. Yum, wow We really took it We'd done an absolute tournament No but I didn't want you to dislike it

I wanted to be You know, get something that You should have got me from Copenhagen I thought I'm going to get something that I've travelled And what they're known for And I thought it was either Pashtaldinat or a tin sardine

And obviously it was going to be a tin sardine Well I had a great time They are nice I was thoroughly uptight And now I'm relaxed And happy Well there we go I'll post a pick of what they are

In case you want to go and get a tin When you go and travel list Wonderful, wonderful. Thanks for that. Pleasure. Anyway, we'll wrap it up, shall we? Yeah. And the next couple of episodes, it'll be all Christmas. Christmas themed. Christmas time. Missal toe and wine.

We just get your mum on here to do a choir. Right. She'll got a carried away by herself. She'll love this. Okay, well, I guess we'll see you next Tuesday. Yeah, and let us know if you have any weird thoughts of the week as well. and let me know if you do know if a flight would make the flight. And still be Portuguese, who knows?

Yeah, who knows? Okay, well, see you next Tuesday. Bye. Bye.