A Lot On Your Plate - Ep 19: Soggy Ring, Debobbler & Twerk Pong

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

It’s our “penultimate” episode before we wrap up season 1 next week, but fear not, it’s an extra long one full of utter nonsense, your best and worst Christmas presents and ofcourse, we discuss our exciting Christmas charity competition!Raffle Tickets - https://www.winfitness.store/products/the-big-xmas-raffle- - - - - - - - - -Follow us on IG @alotonyourplatepodYour HostsJess (@JustJessFood)Zoe (@ZoeQuinnnn)Produced ByCobalt Creative (@cobaltmediauk)For Business Enquiries - [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the chart-topping show-stopping best podcast in the world. We're just getting to it. It's Tuesday and we are back. We are back, bids. Welcome back to a lot on your plate. This is our penultimate episode of season one. Can you explain to everyone what that means, Jessica? So I've been trying to explain to Zoe what penultimate means

and she's actually had the Google speech, you know, the Google speech out, penultimate. And she's been sat here for literally about half an hour trying to say it. Because you were... But you were just determined to get that word done. You could just say second last.

I didn't even think about that. You know what I'm likely pronouncing things as it is, so I thought that was quite good. You all have this episode to listen to the remaining of this from now on and one more until season one is capish. And then we've gone forever.

Your face. What? Getting sacked. Everyone's actually really sad about it. They are. And I think a few people are angry at me, and you as well, but for dropping it in like that last episode

and I'm really sorry. I know we didn't really explain we were going to do the season thing but obviously it's Christmas as well. We just need a bit of time off. Everyone's really busy. It's hard to all get together at the same time, you know? And also, I just feel like

we have a bit of time off. Me, Zoe, G and the day. team can plan the best season two ever. We don't really have much time in between each episode, do we? No. And actually you think we're going to be away for a while, but be four weeks? Yeah, it's actually going to be like four weeks. Yeah. After that.

Can't wait. It's going to be great. It's going to be even better. And we're going to finally get rid of that freaking jingle, because I hate that voice. Just a little bit of an insight into that actually. So if anyone that does know the welcome to that ridiculous bit. So when me and Zoe first came into this studio with

G and Simon, it was literally the first thing that I just said on the microphone as a joke and G decided to make it our jingle. So you can thank G for that. But no, we do love it, but it needs to go. I think it's good to switch it up. Definitely. A little refresh for the new year. Yep. New year and new pods, you know. And we've just been trying to take some some headshots of ourselves while G was in taking a class and we actually had, we couldn't find his tripod and we set up the phone between some fake grass plant he's got in this office on top of a

a jump box and one of his camera boxes it was just awful so anyway we apologize for them photos when they are released just knowing that scraping through the gas trying to get to the wild literally try to get to the button

anyway we just want to quickly discuss because I think everybody's seen this on Instagram and if you one of those people where you don't like seeing this every year and G is probably one of those people because he's just so hateful you know Spotify wrapped

I bet you hate that don't you he does you know what I fucking love seeing people's music taste give me them all he's pissing because he's exactly that you know I like seeing one then I know it's a thing it reminds me and then I don't need to see anymore

yeah but I like seeing my people are in too I like to do it, like we all discussed it and work because we all found it out, spoke about it but that's a better way. Yeah, me, okay. The everyone's story. Yeah, fine. And also, if you're like me and you don't want to share it, you're over it.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I just feel like, on the flip, my Spotify top five does not define me because I think that my Spotify playlist is played on a run or in my car when I'm literally doing gang signs, rapping about sex drugs.

You name it. That's me in my car. But when I'm in my kitchen, I'm more Amazon Alexa, Motown, yeah, country music, magic soul, Chris Stapleton, I'm loving life. So I'm very different, but they don't come up on my Spotify of the year, so I actually just look like I'm just into proper gangster. Gangster, which I am, but you know what I mean?

And also, I feel like it's quite unfair because if you repeat a song over and over and over and over, the song that in your light list, it will always play that song next, and that will then come up as your favourite. Yeah, and also, if you think about it, if you create a playlist, and that's what you listen to all the time, the chances of you getting the same song, even in that once a week, is slim. Yeah.

Wait to see if you're like, for example, me, if I was going to see someone, or a show or whatever, I would listen to the album on repeat. So that's already winning, you see. Yes. Well, G, so does our yearly rap of the podcast. I don't know how accurate it is to the point of how many episodes. Because I think he said 14 episodes, didn't it? actually on 18 but anyway let's just give you a little bit of it probably starts doing it

yeah maybe like a few weeks ago yeah obviously have time it's only 14 episodes and it's only Spotify so it doesn't take any consideration Apple oh yeah yes because we do have lots of listeners on Apple podcast and Amazon podcast and there's a few others but we don't actually know what they are and let us know but our number one episode is number one the Scottish one obviously and that's your Apple adventure um but I just think that's just because a lot people just listen to us at the start. And then, nosy, he knows, you know,

the nosy people on that one. Then episode two was the next and then our lovely Amelia was number three. Doesn't surprise me. Does not surprise me. Our podcast loves to travel. We have been heard in 37 countries

our top five are UK, Australia, Ireland, UAE and New Zealand. I couldn't name 37 countries. I couldn't. How many countries are in the world? Don't ask me questions. I don't know the answer to.

Jay. He doesn't know. I think I guess at 100. 80. I thought it was 100 and something. I'm Googling. 184. I'm going to say 186.

I'm going to say 149. 195. So you were the closest, Jess. Yes. Lovey right. 195? Wow, that's not. It's not more than I thought.

Fuck, Zoe. We're not global yet. No, but we're nearly in a quarter. Okay. Some of them countries don't have electricity. True. So we're definitely in a quarter of the world then. I'm saying it.

And they probably don't know what a podcast is. And just, we just need to just say something so fucking cute. Gee, you're going to die. I read you this. Is this completely unrelated to this podcasting? No. No, this is related. You know what it is? Let me find it. I've got it. I've got it. Hey, absolutely love the pod. Listen to it every week and has me laughing without a doubt. I was listening to last week's ep about the little bakery pies. I'm from Dumfries, so had to drop in to the try the famous pie. I told them about your podcast and that you gave them a shout out,

but they had no clue what a podcast was. He first thought it was a shout-out on the radio. Then I said, oh, no, no, it was on a lot on your plate podcast. And he said, oh, wow, a broadcast, he was so cute. No, that's our pie, man. That man breaks my heart. God, I love him. He needs to come on the podcast.

I know. He does. He needs to know how important he has to us. He needs to know what a podcast is. Absolutely flipping love that guy. He's a soul. Our podcast was in the top 5% most show. globally and most of you have shared it via WhatsApp, Instagram or you've text.

Who is the texts these days? But I love it. Maybe it's your dad. And we are in the 25% most followed podcasts. However, this is quite interesting. Only 23% of our listeners that I listen to us on Spotify followers. So please actually press that follow button. And we were scored overall top five.

And all of our listeners podcasts. So out there all the podcasts they listen to it at the moment, we listen at five. And we've reached three different charts. starts and we've peak position number two. That is just stunning. Great, hey? Stunning. Great, hey?

Nogarani. Right, so, moving on, but still kind of on the same, I want to know, Zoe, what your top five Spotify are. I told you this previously, and I honestly don't want to disclose information. Please. I've only done I've ever really witnessed you listen to music, except Westlife. I want you into, apart from the obvious, Abba. Right, but this is something I need to clear.

I don't actually listen to Abba, really. I like Abba, like, on a night, see if it comes in, on and a night out, or the radio or something, right, I would be like, oh, wee buzz. But I don't actually, like, I don't ever put Abba on my phone, in my headphones.

But it's just your favourite film, a musical. Yeah, I just really like the film. I really like the songs, but it's not. Wendy, just listen to Abba, unless you're... True. ...drunk, drunk.

One-go-bingo-type vibe. You're not on the commute at 8 o'clock in the morning, because obviously I'm a 95. And listen to... Like that's just not the vibes Unless it's the slow songs Anyway, what I like is I'm similar to you like Motown

Yeah I like what category do you put Like James Arthur James Morrison David Gray Depressing You're just basically You like Richard

Washed up reality I just There's so many of them I went to see all of them This year And they were all great There's just so many single male artists that do the same songs

So many of them I like them So what are they? That's what Richard guys as well. Indy? When I say it was like indie... Indy pop? Maybe.

And then I do like a boy band. Yeah. Who's left there? Who's a boy band these days? No, no. Well, West Life. Yeah. But old.

I like, I don't know. I couldn't tell you one song that's in the church for probably the last five years. Like I don't. And also, obviously, I'm not on TikTok. So then that doesn't educate me on the charts either. Like, see when you all sing all these stuff, I don't know.

I never heard it. Like, I actually don't know what you're talking about. She has no idea. She doesn't speak fluent TikTokanese like us. No, not at all. So I would say I've got a music taste like my mum and my dad. Cute. Like I'll listen to Magic Radio.

Yes. Yeah, but I love that as well. Do you know what? My Spotify called me The Adventurer. That's what I got called. Did you? I just think I just like all genres. Yeah, I do as well, to be fair.

And then I enjoy like Storms, etc. like you when the mood's right. Yeah. But again, that's never in my ear. His new album is a completely different mood. Not even listen to that. It's just slow and sad. Yeah, see, I'd probably like that. If you looked at what I listened to,

you would think that I was in a deep, dark, cold depression. Like you would... Are you not? No, I'm absolutely fine. I'm actually happy. So that's my music taste. Just quickly while we're on the Stormsy subject. Derry knows this, but I'm just going to tell you guys.

I was working yesterday on my iPad, and then my friend Haley messages me. She goes, oh, have you seen Stormsys Twitter? He's actually doing something. surprising at half 11. I thought, what is it? She was like, well, he's putting on this intimate show of his album,

somewhere in London for 200 people only, and you have to be on the ball to order these tickets at half 11, so I was like, fuck, I need these tickets. So no, she kept saying, onto it he kept delaying it and delaying it until half one. So people are going, wow, now he's got this big, everyone's now wanting these tickets.

I honestly had, and I know I'm his number one fan, but part of me just thought, after the Glastonbury dilemma, I didn't get the tickets. I thought, I'm not going to do this again and go for this heartbreak. Sat on my iPad, I thought I was going to go on website, refreshed it at half one. Did I get a fucking ticket? Yes, I did. One second. One ticket for

18 quid, 18 pounds to see my baby boy live with a hundred and nine of the people on my own. So I don't really know what I'm going to do and I went on Twitter and there was thousands of people like saying it was sold out in 0.1 second but the thing is if I press number two and then press ad to basket, I wouldn't have got it. No. So I just press ad to basket. soon as it went in, didn't realize it was one, tried to change it to two at the basket page and it said, all sold out. So anyway, my friend, he then put on another show the following day who's doing it on the Thursday and the Friday, she got the ticket for the Friday, one ticket. So now we're going to have to try and find someone, because surely there's loads of people on our boat

that will swap me a ticket, because I'm not missing this for the world. So if anyone's on this podcast that managed to get a ticket and wants to swap me a Thursday for Friday or a Friday for a Thursday, please make my ear. Yeah, because it's like 22nd of December, isn't it? Yes, in a month. In London? In Kingston. I can't, this is just my life. This is one of the things that even if you wanted to go to it so much, a normal person would think that's just not practical. It is, it's long.

Three days before Christmas. I know. I know. It's not cute, is it? But then if you think about how little people, 100, well, 200 people are. Well, I went to see Stormsy at Brixton 06 years ago. That's how much of a big fan I am. And I was there when there was barely anyone,

and he brought out Ed Shearing, Adele was in the crowd, gets, you wouldn't know who that is. No idea. But they all came on stage and I was like hyperventonating with my friend Holly but I thought at that moment I'm never going to witness this intimate because I knew he would be really famous

I knew he'd get really big. Can't cope. Anyway, 18 quid as well. Bargain. I'm buzzing. So that's your wrap up then, yeah? Of your Spotify. I'd like to actually know what your favourite musical is

because somebody asked us in the podcast and they said, please find out what Zoe's favourite musicals are. I would say my top ones Annie. What? It is. You ever seen it? Yeah, the film, but not the musical. Well, the thing is, I've actually never seen the musical either, but I was in the musical.

Right. You can't just drop that bum on us. No, I was in it and it was a professional musical. Who with? Do you know who Sue Pollard is? Yes. Her. She was Miss Hannigan, the orphanage, crazy woman. Right. Where is it? Where are we talking there? Is it Motherwell Country Club or something? No, it was actually in Hamilton Town House.

right no it was actually a professional musical I got into it through like my dancing much kind of like a theatre school type thing and you wouldn't know who I played I actually had the part I wasn't just one of the many orphans I was one

did I have a ginger asshole sorry I was the orphan called pepper who's the bully shot horror and I had a solo line in it well just one line

no I spoke quite a bit and then I sang a solo line just one short line Well, when I was a kid, right, there was a, you know how you did your end of year play, whatever? Well, I had to audition for Bugsy Malone, and I got the part of Blousey Brown. I was absolutely delighted. You know me wanting to be central attention, all that. So I was like, wow, I've got the main part.

It was a Christmas play. It got to literally two weeks before, and all the teachers had to have a conversation because we didn't have time to learn our lines. We actually did a show for our parents miming. So there was two people that got the part of blouse around me and another girl called Grace Johnson, I still remember her and she read the script whilst I saw on stage going yap, yap, yap, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fucking terrible. They didn't be dirty on there. That's a shame. I thought it's my big moment and then I'm miming on stage. Grace took my shine. It's a shame that. I know. I mean, I feel like that is a hard question to ask

because I've got loads but that's just the one that comes around. What's your second favourite? Whenever they ask you, which your favourite, rephrase the question is, what musical would you always recommend somebody go see? Cute! I would always recommend someone go see Wicked. Ah, see, I've never ever seen. Which a lot of people probably think, oh, like you hear about it all the time,

but honestly, that is up there. Is it? That's the best musical. I've seen it twice. You went to see with money, didn't you? Yeah, quite recently. And it was unbelievable. And the songs in it are just great.

I don't know any of the songs, except the last one. And what else up... Yeah, once you would physically go see are different. Like, because if you think about films, that kind of throws you off. Like Mama Mia's great in the theatre as well but it's better at the film whereas like going to see it in London say

Wicked's great the Lion King's great Matilda, the musical's actually great I've seen like King The Book of Mormon I know a lot of people write about that I didn't like that I've not seen that

it wasn't a bit of me I felt it was too like uni ho ho-ho type banter I just didn't quite get it The Bodyguard's really good too Yes I've seen that It was Alexandra Burke that I've seen it It was Beverly Knight

when I went to see it Try I think what else I've seen. I've seen loads, but I think if someone was going to London and they asked and they weren't that into musicals and they didn't want to see it, I would say Wicked or the Lion King. But then apparently, Mulan Rouge is meant to be so good. Oh, yes. Well, you know Amelia, who is on our, as our guest pod guest, sorry,

she wrote in about the best and worst Christmas gifts that we asked on her Instagram, and she said that somebody bought her, or she bought tickets for her friends to see Pretty Woman, and she said it was the worst musical she's ever, ever seen, and they all had to walk out. Yeah, I've heard that. Which is just shite because the film's so good,

they just should have left it at the film. Yeah, that is a shame. Another musical that's good, the most time one. Oh, we don't want to see that with my mum. That's good. Is it good? Because it's just all the songs, and they just have like a slight storyline,

but it's not like, yeah. It's kind of like the share one. That was like a story, but obviously the songs are great, so that was good too. And I'm going to see a show on Tuesday, the commitments.

Where's this? And the Kings. Oh, okay. I need to start paying ransom. That's a film, I think. But I've never seen it. My mum wanted to go, so we're gone. I love that for you too.

I just love a musical. You do. So, just going back to episode 18, a lot of people are loving that last episode, by the way. I think when we just talk a load of fucking nonsense, people like it. And all people do prefer that. Yeah.

But anyway, a lovely lady message in about our smear test, but what we said that we think the NHS has strained. Apparently that's not the case. She said, hi, hi, Doie and Jess. I can tell you why the smear test has changed to fire. yearly. Now when you have your smear, you are tested for abnormal cells in the cervix and for HPV. If you are negative for HPV, it significantly reduces your risk of having cervical cancer. You then get five yearly smears. However, if you test positive, you continue to get a smear

every three years. Most people who are now at the age of getting their first smear have had the HPV vaccine. So mostly they'll be testing negative. Also raging you're getting a bousam hill tree for 100 quits. By the way, it arrived today, everyone. Not yet, but by the time his podcast goes out, it'll be up and thriving and I'll put it on the podcast, but it was in the balsam tree box. So it's real. I'm going to make my mud wreath and my new tree

for a new program that we're going to start watching together. So yeah. You've got your mud wreaths, but it's on my car for you. I can't wait. Although it is actually hard. It is, it's a graft. But can you tell me, does this one come with the base already done,

or are you doing it from scratch? It comes with all the posies. Like, she's already built... She's already to put the sort of soggy bit on. Yeah. No. you get the bag of the soggy stuff and you put the soggy stuff around the ring

not the soggy ring oh fucksing then you attach the posies around the soggy ring with your rope what the fuck is this oh yeah it's in my car for you. Can't wait.

Oh God. Also, I know we moved on from the Spotify thing but we actually didn't say what our top ones were and what my top one actually was as a musical that I didn't even mention there. What is it? My top five songs and five artists are all from the same musical.

What? The waitress. I don't even know what that is. I went to see that this year with my mum, had never heard anything about it so listen to the songs before going then I went fucking loved it and then listened to the album on repeat

probably for a couple of weeks but this is what I mean if you listen to an album on repeat for just even like two or three weeks the amount of times you've listened to these songs or minutes you've spent on the artist and all that that's how they work it out and that's why I looked at it and I was like I'm so embarrassed

it's like five of them sing number one no sing it Go on. No, I can't even think there is, though. Oh, you can't love it. You can't love it that much. So anyway, you need to put that in there

a musical to see because that's probably underrated, I think. Okay. Or it is here anyway. I will consider, because I do love a musical. So, what you've been up to today, Zoe? What you've been up to since we last recorded the pod? What you've been eating and what have you been up to?

What I've been eating tonight for dinner? I made that salmon thing you posted about. Right, right, right, right, right, right. I'm going to call you out here. Zoe said to me, I've made that salmon thing but I didn't have this and I didn't have this and I didn't have this, this, this, this, this. I just had the rice salmon and syracia mayo. What the fuck?

Right, well, first of all, I had the sticky ice which I managed to get in ASDA. Yeah, how good? Wonderful. A salmon, which I did put Dijon. Yeah, she said she didn't like that. Dijon mustard on. No one's going to like a salmon fill it with Dijon mustard on top. But then it also put some ppipiprika.

Okay. Why can't I say that? Paprika on top. Okay, the wrong spice, but yeah. Anyway, I couldn't get that to jean or whatever it is you were banging on about. Then I did do the avocado thing and try to slice it. And it didn't work. No, but it does the job.

And then, obviously, I had, whatever missed out. All of the garnish. Then I just did serachamil because basically what you did was make serracia meal with all four saucies, just buy the syracia meal. No, no, no, no, I didn't. It was more tangy. But I don't like lime juice and things. So that's why I went for the cratchmail.

Then I'll explain why I didn't have the little pink and red circle things that you had in it. Radishes. Radishes. The spring onions. Yeah. So Zoe said that she doesn't want to buy a spring onion because she uses a tiny fingernail of it. And the rest of it just goes away. So there's no point in buying it.

Like, what on earth? That's correct. Can you tell me where I'm putting spring onion in? A stir fry. Right. Noodles. That is a stir fry. I only eat that if I'm in on my own because that doesn't get eaten by.

Jason as we know. True. So this is what I mean. All right. I'm going to let you off. Can I not buy one spring onion? No, you can. I don't go to the seal

with one spring onion. But they come in like a rope of fat. And do you know what? I have to agree with you on that. They do think it's quite excessive. They're in a rope of five. Yeah, it's a bit much, isn't it? And who's having spring onions that much?

And how long did it last five days? There should actually be a shop invented, right? For people that live alone. Single people. They can just buy a single. You know what I mean? Because obviously if you have that, shit hello fresh they do actually give you like the actual portion sizes but same with a cucumber

which i have bought before when i've had salads and stuff in summer and i use it more but even if i bought that i'm not going to use that for ages yeah and then it's done by that point so that's why i didn't have the extras and then i've also made i made two salmon fillets or whatever you call them because we're only take one for my lunch tomorrow so i'm going to rehab it for my lunch okay well i'll let you want that's on my plate and actually today i was supposed to go for lunch with my dad yes but he cancelled on me. Jerry, what are you doing? It's quite upsetting isn't it? Mm-hmm. I didn't take my lunch in with me, because I thought, don't me too.

Oh, that's a shame. I'm going out at my dad and then he texts me saying can we reschedule, I decided to work from home. Oh, we'll let him off because he's cute. What's been emotionally on your plate? Emotionally on my plate, I've been quite stressed about the garland that I was banging on about. For a fuck, sick, not that again.

Because what I've now realised is there's two things actually. Do you know what she said to me, because obviously I wanted to share all the stories on the podcast, on the roundup of episode 18 and she's like no I simply cannot share it just yet Jess it's not quite right blah blah blah and I'm like oh for God's sake well it's still not right and I'll tell you why

reason one being I'm now looking at it and I'm seeing that really fake garland look You know what I mean? I've got to that orange is no not them yet I'm not got to that part yet whereas now I'm thinking I wish I got more of like a fluffy type looking one Oh right but maybe I just need accept that's for next year

so that's the number one thing that's been stressed about because I look at it when I'm watching TV above me every night. The other thing is my dried orange slices are starting to look a bit brown. Am I supposed to be doing some sort of taking care method with him? No. But maybe it's just in my head. I think it is in your head.

So I was concerned about that. And thirdly, my winter print from my shelf that is completing the look hasn't quite arrived yet, which is why I can't share it yet either. Okay. That sounds like a really stressful week you've had. And on top of that, All my bedroom furniture is in the living room, the hall, the kitchen because my bedroom just got plastered

and now Jason's the process of painting it. What colour we going for? Well, I'm just doing three walls white at the moment but then another wall is going to be a greeny colour. Can you believe I'm getting green in my house? I cannot. Well, just to clarify, Jason is a massive rangers fan. Won't wear green, doesn't like the colour of green. I'm surprised I'm allowed a plant. Which I actually doesn't like that either. And now I've actually got, I'm getting a green wall. What shade of green, though? Well, the thing was, I actually did suggest it to be that kind of dark,

is it navy, is it green kind of colour? Do you know what I mean? But then when we actually went to pick them, we went for more like an actual green, like I say it's green. Oh, nice. So you're not saying, is that blue or green, you're saying that's fucking green. And I'm getting panelling on that wall, and I'm going to get me wall lights. Yes.

Like, you know the ones that you see the wire? Yes, nice. I'm going to get them. So I'm trying to get all crisps staying like my underwear drawers on the floor and my jammies are all hanging out in my living room, do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a bit annoying, isn't it? I don't really like the full decor thing. No.

And Jason wants me to help paint. I don't want to do that. No, I can't paint. And people say they'll help you, I'm like, the thing is, I don't want help, I just don't want to do it. Yeah. So you can do it if you want, but I'm not helping. I'm not helping you.

I'm not. Gee, he's quite a DIY man. We need to get him to do everything for our house. Can I paint, no. Can you not paint? I'm not allowed to paint. That's your main general rule. Do everything else I can't paint.

The thing is, I painted my living room and my hall really. really and when you get into it with a big roller with a long handle is actually really quick and easy but then I get all perfectionist about it and I'm like oh there's a real line there and it just stressed now but then who was plastered in our room we asked he got his son to come and help him

at the end and he's a painter and decorator and Jason just asked out curiosity how much would this bedroom be and he said about I'm sure he said 500 to 600 pound so I was like no wonder I'm getting the brushes yeah no blipping wonder for a bedroom that's ridiculous four walls one to three four walls

Ridiculous. Anyway, that's supposed to be on my plate mentally and physically. As usual, not eating anything to that's an accident, but that's just me, isn't it? Tell me what's been on yours, please. Talking on the decorating, I'll order my sofa swatches finally. So I'm going to be finally getting my new sofa in my lighter living room that I've been dreaming of. Where will it come? I don't know.

What else has been up to today? As you know, I've been quite busy. You've got lots of planning some exciting recipes with a few lovely brands. Christmasy so yeah that's coming very soon you've been hard at the graft yeah and it's every single brief is quite long so kitchen's a shit hole and then I went for to get my nails in today I just love being a nail salon don't you just love the chat they're so funny in there I suppose you just go to Kiki don't you so it's just but the nail salon I go into oh it's just so fun I do like going in and chatting with her but I must say I hate getting

any beauty treatment done oh same hate getting my hair and it's not because of the people it's the length of time, especially nails because I can't, you obviously can't do anything else, or if you're getting, when you're getting LVL. Oh, or Lash extensions. If I start thinking about the fact that I can't open my eyes for too long, yeah, I would need to say get everything off me

so I can look my eyes. It makes me feel caustrophic. What's LVL? It's like a lash lift. So they tint your lashes. They basically perm your lashes. Right. And then you feel them like,

they use a wee thing and they put something sticky on your eye. That actually makes me feel sick when they fold it. Fold it up on your island so that it sticks and then it's like a curl, so that it's all curly. No, that feeling makes me vomit, but when they peel it off at the end, oh, God, it's fantastic.

And it's worth it, but sometimes, I don't know. No, actually, like Elvia when I first get it done, however, when my eyelashes grow back, they grow back curly at the tip and then straight at the root and a mascot, it's a shambles for me. So they look a bit, like a split end does? Yeah, I don't like it.

Yeah, I've had that. But you shouldn't get it too much because that's why. It'll like frazzle your lashes So you should only get it Like maybe I have a couple A few times a year And then I have my laser hair Which as you know

I absolutely bang on about Life-changing treatment I have it everywhere I'm a dolphin My arm And you know what is so terrible I said so today I went I feel so sorry if you Liz

How many assholes You've had to laser over your time You actually have to bend over G and spread your bum cheeks apart Can you tell me the benefit Of getting your arsule laser I have no idea But it's the first time I sat there

And she was like right This is like this is like the smear that spread your legs I'm like oh Liz and then she goes right and turn over and I'm like no no you she's like pull it I was like no there's just no way I can't tell you I got a wax down there once and it's you know what it was it wasn't even the dignity thing because that goes out the window of us in two seconds the pain of that I've heard it's awful ever ever ever get that again she did one bit and I nearly said can you stop I've never had wax on there I've had legs And that was not pleasant.

She kept asking me like, are you sure you're okay? I wasn't okay. And I was on my lunch break. And the girls in work had recommended her. It's not her fault, obviously. But the more you do it, the better it is. The less it hurts. No.

But I'd never had it done before, honestly. Yeah, I just can't. And what I will say, without getting too graphic, I was black and blue. Oh my God. I was bruised. I think what I will say about laser hair is it's not pleasant. It's Bernie, but it takes two seconds. What did you just say?

I don't know. I think Jesus just dying because it's just dying. with us. Oh, you've got a wife, you've got to what? My, I think my mum said to me one time, like, what happens if, like, do you get like a landing strip?

I love this voice apart from my mum because she has something like this. Like, do you have it like all done? Do you have like a little landing strip? I'm like, no, mum, I'm fully gone, I'm bold. She's like, like, why on this is it come back in fashion? That will never come back in fashion for me, and maybe in the 70s, but no.

But I just think, for me, I'm quite lucky. I've never had even growing hairs, but you know, even like the dots on your legs that you get from shaving, they go after having laser hair removal. And it's cheap. Well, I say cheap. It's actually really good value for money. It's like 45 pounds for one area.

So let's say your armpits every six weeks. So you can just put that aside every month. And in eight sessions, you will be hair free forever. I can't explain to you to come to the gym. Having to shave my armpits every day or forgetting, it was just the worst thing. See, cause I'm quite fair-haired. It probably doesn't work on that, though, if you've got fair hair. Yeah, it's not.

I'm not, my legs and stuff aren't, in fact my legs are quite fair, but even my armpits are quite fair so I could, like if I forgot to shave, for example, you wouldn't really notice it unless I pointed out. Right, yeah. I don't, I do think shaving's uncomfortable, like, in all areas. Like, I even get itchy legs, I get itchy armpits down there, and obviously everyone knows problems, but I just, nothing's worth, I would drive for this my life. Yeah, then, I can't take any pain like that. Yeah, it's over in a few seconds, though. But yeah, she's, um, she's, people might ask, but I go to Ministry of Laser and Liz and just make sure you go to someone

that has this particular machine I can't remember what it's called but a lot of these places actually lower the, what's it called? They lower the temperature of the laser. So you keep coming back for session after session but she does not fuck about like you're in and you're done in eight sessions.

Right then, so let's move on to our topic of the week. We've been speaking about it now and already. I know, but I'd like to have a nice long episode. So let's go on to our topic of the week, and I thought I would quickly go into this by speaking about my random thought of the week. Let's see it. Do you think the people in the marketing team

at Lynx HQ, just release Links Africa for Bance? Why? Where did this come from? Because every year there's always some meme or some like joke on the internet about Links Africa. Like don't get me a Link's Africa.

set or I got a link to South Africa set. Do you think they just release it because they just know that people are buying them for jokes and bans? Because who the fuck wants that? But remember it was a thing? Like that was such a thing. Like Charlie Red? Yeah, it was such a thing. But it's still a thing now

and it's always going to be a thing. So I just think the marketing team are literally rubbing their hands together every Christmas because they're thinking we don't give a fuck if you take the piss. We're earning cash monies. I think so because it'll be like we grandies and aunties and all that who don't don't even understand like they don't need they don't have social media and they don't

they don't know any of this chat's happening and they just buy it for their yeah it does actually smell bad it's actually all right big fan are you are you oh do you actually like it oh i actually do smell nice though and the the shower in the gym there's like three tubsy links africa showers you so there is uh we need to give an and the deodorant it is not i think all men's fragrance is smell good though. Oh my god, do you remember one million? Lady million? No, one million was the man's version. Oh yeah, and the little gold tub thing. Every single boy. Paco Raban?

wore that. They did. But that was good. That was really good. That has actually a good smell. Honestly. But it just takes me back now. Do you remember? I think we said, was it John Paul Gautier. That was a good smell. Versace blue jeans, red jeans. Anyway, so that was my random thought of the week. I just thought, that's probably going to ties in nicely to a question that we ask on our podcast early this week of what is the best and worst gifts you've ever received or been ever given. Sorry, what's yours? Do you have any? I have a general hate to receive and it's gift sets.

Yeah. Which kind of links back to that. Ha ha ha. No pun intended. Um, just because I feel like there's only ever, if even one thing in it that you would want or use. I think it depends what sort of gift set you're talking about. Let's say you had a, I don't know, like an iconic London gift set or a rify gift set.

I think as adults now what I would get now I'd maybe like more but I think as that kind of like even like a few years ago it's like someone just gets you When you're to debby numbers and boots and they've got those gift sets

yeah they don't need to be bought no I agree but then it's something that people do buy them because we do like Christmas kits we call them work and we sell them every year and they get sold

so as a thing and people do love like it's great for Shrek of Santa's and like all that kind of stuff right but I just hate getting it and I hate when it comes in an actual box What am I doing? Where if I put that? It's just wasteful in it.

It's annoying as hell. It really bothers me. I would rather, at this age I'd rather, honestly, there's a 20 quid Amazon voucher. Yeah. I'll spend that, no bother. Yeah. Whereas I also think you have an age period where gift vouchers seem unthoughtful. And then I think you get to being a proper adult and you would take anything that avoid you spending your own money.

Million percent. Do you get what I mean by that? I do know what you mean. I just think, I went on Etsy last night actually and I typed in CrossFit. And, no, just for SecretSantic, there is so many little companies that make cute little things. I typed in vegan and I typed in anyone of my friends that are a particular thing or into something. There's so many cool things on that website. What's my particular thing?

Pigs. Rat. Perfect. If I was found a bison for you for Secret Sanswer, I would definitely buy you something piggy. And then maybe something nice, like a nice lip gloss or a makeup item that I know you like. But yeah, I think Etsy's quite a good shout for, you know, like little things, rather than getting a gift set from boots and wasting 20 quid. I do think that as well.

I do get, not now, actually, because my mum buys for me and then gives it to, like, my nan and papa to give to me, if you know what I mean? Or I buy myself and then give it to them because they don't know what to buy anymore and they're not that way, they're strolling around the shops anymore. But she did just to get, and we would all get one, like, all the girls. And it was like, you know, they're like twisty scarfs and, like, clips with, like, shapes on them and, like, do you know, like, just loads of stuff like that. and it was always just such a waste of money

because you just literally got rid of it. Mm-hmm. And actually it's just a shame because you're like, you'd be as well just leaving that extra shite out and just give what you were going to give. Yeah, exactly. Right, so let's go into some people's answers. There's so many, but we'll try and cut out a few.

Worst Xmas gift I received was from a guy I was seeing. We'd only been seen each other for a month. So I was going to get him... So I wasn't going to get him anything for Christmas. However, the week before, he dropped into Convo that he'd got me something for Christmas. So I was like, shit, I better go and get him something. I've got him something cool. I can't remember what it was now, but I spent at least

50 quid, which I thought was reasonable and not too OTT, considering it was still early days. Exmas Eve comes and we exchange gifts. He loves his gifts. Me? Not so much. A mini bottle of Echo Falls and a tiny bottle of Lindor chocolates. I had to turn on the fake. Oh my God, wow. Thank you so much. I felt so embarrassed. I'd actually thought about something nice for him and mine was shitty bottle of wine. He turned out to be a massive twat anyway. Do you not think that's an actual thing that if you over-gift, it's just as awkward as like under-gifting?

Yes. Like, I remember you would be like going out with someone at school and it'd be like Valentine's Day and you'd be like, should I get them like a wee and it was mortifying. Motifying. Remember them forever friends?

Teddy bears used to get in yeah. No, was it forever friends? The little brown ones used to get in Carl Clinton cards. Me to you bears. Me to you bear, that's it. Every Christmas I've got one of them. Yeah, overgifting is mortifying. Worst Christmas gift, packet of highlighters and post-it notes.

He owned a stationary company. He could not believe it. It was my sister's fiancée's need as to say that wedding got fucked off. This is too long for the box, but I was once given a clearance after shave from next by a family member. I'm a girl. The same family member also once bought me, age 16, a mini leopard print velvet skirt. It was skin tight and looked like cats. later from me to tenders. Too big for the question box but my grand who is now

passed used to give us the funniest gifts and we would all go down on boxing day and sit around as she would hand them out. Some crackers were my husband who is a big guy size 10 pair of ladies jeans he had a three year old Guinness book of records subscription to animals going in Stink magazine, extinct magazines cleaning April and garlic pills. They really made our Christmas. My now husband gave me a promise ring for our first Christmas together, saying we would get married one day. Now 18 years later, married for 10 years with kids and dogs. Very sweet.

This one is a bit of both. I used to work for the North Face, and we did a secret Santa every year. I think the budget was a tenor. So it was just a small thing, but everyone's presents were so thoughtful and beautifully wrapped. One of the boys I worked with had me, and he legit just walked in with a bottle of Bondi's fake tan. No bag, no wrapping, no card, nothing. He just came in and sat it on the table. Everyone was pissing.

When he gave it to me, was like, you smell like my girlfriend, so I've got you the same tan as her. She definitely smelled of biscuits. That's well cute. That's what you get. Literally screaming, very observant. That's what you get.

Literally screaming, very observant, but funny as hell. Best present, a telescope from my husband. I would fucking love that. I get on my work, got her dad a telescope for his birthday the other week there. Really? Did he love it?

How nice a present's that? And she wrapped it in like starry paper. How cute is that? I love that. I thought that was just... That's about something you'd like, isn't it, G? You're into space? No, really.

Oh, you know what? Would you star giz? Too many horoscopes up there. Worst tea towels when I didn't even own a home. You'd be like, what the fuck? Asked my family for money. I was given a floor lamp. My ex is grand, we now know she had early dementia at the time,

used to buy me sexy lingerie, and I had to open it in front of the whole family. I would collapse. Collapse. I would be dead. I get, when you put their stuff, on the page, my friend in work, Amy said that her boyfriend

got her gold light switches. Oh, she wrote it into this as well. Like for in the flat and there was something else house related and she was that you can decide whether I was pleased or not. I reckon she would have been pleased. She was fucking buzzing.

Was she? I would love, like, see stuff that means I don't need to buy it. Yeah. I'm happy. I need to replace my switches with gold as well I've only done in one room. I've got gold.

It's so expensive. Amazon ones are all right. My auntie gave me the perfume to it. of the year before. You can still tell when someone's re-gifting. Yes. My husband framed photos of me as a child with my mum.

I cried so much. That's sweet. Very thoughtful. My mum was gifted a new kettle by my stepdad. Let me tell you she rioted. He would be fuming. That's just... Although I do love a kettle.

So it depends what kind of kettle. I actually used your kettle for the first time that I did there. And are they buttons necessary? Zoe. There's six buttons or something on it. That is a bit excessive. But if I want a good... green tea, right, I don't want it 100 degrees piping hot,

I can actually just press it at 60. Smart. There was a button that said, stay hot. I don't keep hot or something. I don't know what it is. I filled it up. That's using my electricity. Yeah, I know. I filled it up and I didn't know what to press, just to get a boil.

I just wanted a wee cup of tea. I know it's a bit, a bit more. This is, oh, God's sake, we're going to have to mention a fucking name. This is Jilly. Andy got me a blue north-faced hiking jacket instead of the cool crop one one year, like the Anorac.

Like the ones that your geography teach war, I would be fuming. I'm sure it was one of the ones that came in the bag. You know, like an an ananaac all folds up and goes in a wee draw-string bag. I'm honestly almost certain it was one of them. Oh, God, love him. I remember of putting it into the chat. My sister-in-law read gifts, perfume, she doesn't want. Smart.

A hamper of expired products from my mother-in-law. No. Well, like tins in that? Probably. Oh, this is savage, this one. Scales. But when I opened them, I thought there were scales for cooking, but my mum actually gave me scales for weighing myself.

I can be doing my pair of skills right enough. Well, this one's awkward. Twerk Pong from my boyfriend of two months' mother. She sounds like my kind of mother-in-law. She's wanting a grand win. A grand way. What's so funny about that? That's just fucking funny.

A grand way. Oh God. You Scottish, crack me up. A one-size canvas selfie of me and my ex when we were still together. Honestly, canvases make me sick. Oh, my mum's got one of me and Adam like on the one thing

and it's like a selfie that we took at one party I had in the house while she was gone. So we're both drunk. Adam's like smiting in it. Thinking he looks all like sexy. It's fucking weird. And then she's got a massive one

and Ben is a baby who, which is a shame. because he actually has a squint. Now, he obviously has glasses and he did from a young age, but at this point he didn't. And she's like, I'm taking it to my new house. Both of them.

I'm going to, they'll just get lost in the move. Why do, like, mum's, my nan actually has a picture of me on her, I'm going to have to show you this story because I don't, actually, I'm too embarrassed to show anyone over the years. But there was a school picture of me that was such a bad angle.

And the night before, I'd cut my fringe and, you know, when you were a little kid, you decided to cut your head and I had a little tuft. and it's framed it, it's been on there for, you know, 20 years, 25 years and it is the worst picture ever. I'm going to have to post it on the podcast page. I'm brave enough to do it now, but it is the worst thing. I look like Bruce Bogtrotter with a tour.

There's a lot of people writing things in here as well, like things that they didn't like at the time, but have become quite in handy, things like crocs. So you would be like, uh, but they say that they love them now, a printer, uh, I mean, electric toothbrush, someone's great. about that I'd be buzzing about that I don't use an electric toothbrush oh I do now game changing honestly I just well someone needs to buy me that then yeah someone by Zoe you can get them cheap from boots like 40 quid for quite a really decent one I can

just think of so many other ways to spend that money this is a decent one and somebody's slagging this but I like this an electric fabric debobbler and a lint brush I really want a fabric debubbler I'm really whistling tonight A debobbler Debobla How did I say it in a Jamaican accent I really want to fabric debubla I want one

Because I've got a... I didn't know that was a thing What? You hear people... I could be doing it for this blazer You hear people using a razor Try, didn't work Well, her and I think you've got a great gift there

And you'll get a debobler And I'll borrow it Okay, got my friend A limited edition Alice in Wonderland Makeup case It's her faith film Only to find her listing it for saying A Facebook Disney Group a year later

Fantastic. Oh my God. I don't know if they're happy or sad about this, but someone, I would be buzzing about this. A nose trimmer. Now, as we know, I've got humongous nostrils. So nose hair is key. Me and my best friend Holly used to get a nose trimmer

and shave our nose hair all the time about when we lived in London and then we used to text each other and say that we'd sit at a desk. No, I feel out what you're going to say. Because there was no hair in our nose. I'm funny. I can't believe I'm sharing this. We felt like bokees were not. but we'd just fall out of my eyes.

And we'd be like, there's just nothing there to stop it happening. And do you know what else we used to do? She reminded about me this other day. Oh, this is fucking brilliant. And so many people will relate to this. We have the same hair, one hair that grows out of our chin every few weeks, right? And our whole teenage life, we would pluck this hair. We would go home or go to our desk.

would put it next to a ruler and we would do a competition of who's got the longest chin hair and I think at one point mine was nearly touching one and a half centimetres and then we'd just send them every... That is so fucked up.

And then she told me that one time she had this fucking corker of hair and she was driving back from work and she had it in a... Between her little fingers the whole time driving like a lunatic trying to hold onto this hair and she lost it

and she was so pissed off because all she wanted to do was show because she thought she'd won the competition. That's, this is Holly who I have the escala of a language with, by the way. By the way, what I need to know about this story is, you're staying driving home from work. What age were we here? Oh, we're adults.

So, Holly, we were about, when we lived in London, we were like 22 to 26? Well, she was 22 to 26. I was about 22 to 24. We still do it now. I've still got this one hair. I should get laser on that, actually. Yours are fucking mental. I know.

A heated throw. I'd love one of them. I couldn't get any. my bed if I had that absolutely no way oh no, too cosy-wozy. But also I couldn't like when do people use it because I'm roasting in my bed and then I couldn't put it in the morning because I'm having to get up in the morning but if you could

put it on the couch Oh, that'd be good. I love a hot water bottle. So, most important part of the episodes you will have seen and hopefully clicked on a raffle link for the biggest raffle of the year. Love your life.

And we're just going to talk through exactly what you can win. And some T's and Cs, I suppose. Yes. So T's and C's first are, unfortunately, you have to be UK-based. Or if you live somewhere else, have a UK address. You can get a potential prize delivered to. You can enter as many times as you want. Sure thing.

Tickets are £2 each, but it's up to how many entries. And we will have posted by this point, but go back on our page to see it exactly what you need to do to be entered. And proceeds, of course, we'll go to charity. Autism and the Trussle Trust. 50-50. Very, very. Love it. So I'm going to list the prizes.

Here we go. Are you ready? An overnight hamper at House of God's Hotel Edinburgh. A £50 £5pm voucher. Wow. Which you can spend on... Are you going to do this for everyone? I've got a different noise after everyone.

Okay. Which you can spend on an overnight. A meal out. Yes. A spa treatment. I think you can just buy things from there. Unsure, but possibly. But anyway, it's completely up to you.

A mud, wreath kit. To make your front door stunning. Yes, we love them. Stoning. Stone in. A mud gift set. Perfect, perfect, perfect. They actually did the Christmas tree

and all the Christmas decorations in my office. Did they? And it's stunning. They're the best of the best. Stungalina Julie. A hydrophacial voucher at the aesthetics club. Cannot rave about them enough. There is one in Notting Hill and one in Bear's Den.

Which is Glasgow. Did you know Bear's Den is 55 minutes from here? Because I did not. It's just so long. But hydrophatials are honestly one of the best. and it's worth over, I think it's like 140, is it 100 quare, or 150 pounds. Is it? Yeah.

And if you want skin like Jessica Ted's, that should answer. A Kansla gift set. Kansler, one of my best friends, small business candle company, which is the best candles ever that are going to be stocked in John Lewis and Harvey Nix very soon. That's it. That's really a big time. That's an exclusive. I know.

She's done so well, I'm so proud of her. She's also got a very fancy job too. She has. She has a very, very big job. So, love that for me, Rachel. there is wonderful. Yeah. The makeup role

by Amphonsor Alicia Lame which is stunning. You can have it in any skin tone that you choose. I think she has like five or six colour ways. Yeah. And the idea obviously is

you wear it when you're tanning putting makeup on and you don't get all the nasty stains. Yes. Love it. An ESPA gift set? Yep.

A bundle full of spa. Like bath oils, spa stuff. Your dream really, Jess, isn't it? Yes, I love ESFA so much. You hate spa smells? No, but I love ESPA. I love the bath oils. Okay, very particular.

A grow gorgeous hamper For those luscious locks Oh, this is my favourite bits An Isle of Paradise hamper Yep, you can obviously choose the shade that you want There's light, medium or dark, peach green, violet Mm-hmm A lovely hoodie jumper from a new brand

A'Vu A'Vu It's a self-love brand Lots of really gorgeous Loungewear jumpers, loads of cute colours With nice self-love quotes on the back All that things that we love That's lovely that.

Yeah. It's really nice stuff actually. A Liberty and Blush voucher. Yep. For some nice jewelry. Really gorgeous bits. You wear that quite a lot, don't you? Yes, I wear Liberty and Blush all the time, actually.

And last, but absolutely not least, I used to be a daily hamper. Now, when we say this hamper is the best fucking thing you've ever seen or heard of in your life, it's actually worth 500 pounds, and it's, I think she said it's like your Christmas day. Every single day of Christmas is sorted, basically, with this hamper. It's like your Christmas dinner for four essentially

But it's huge Huge Honestly they are so generous For giving us that Thank you so much One of the best restaurants in Glasgow FYI Yeah it's delicious

Up there with probably the best I would say I would agree Even for a wee coffee and cake Just love them Perfect right next to the park We coffee, week cake We stroll

Fabulous Lovely Sunday morning Anyway that is all our prizes Yes All of which are over 50 pounds Yep So please be kind

And donate and be in the raffle. You will, just to be clear, actually, you'll win, there'll be a winner for each prize. You won't win at all. Great guts. And yeah, that's it. And we will announce the winners on our next episode.

Yes. We did say that we'd have a special guest pulling out the winners, but be my struggle with that. And we'll tell you why in the next step. We can also put it on our Instagram so that if you... Yes, you miss out.

Well, they shouldn't miss because they should be listening to every episode. should yet. Well, I hope you've enjoyed this extra long episode. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. Just to let everyone know, it is 10 to 10 at night. This is a school night. Do you understand? What that means? Gee, you're teaching in the morning? No. Oh, well, we can stay all night then! No, no, no, I've got to spend class at 6 a.m. I'm thinking I might cancel. Right, I've got a quick spit or swallow for you. I forgot. See, when's this ending? It's my thought. This is actually quite fitting because I felt like this is actually nothing horrible and I don't really want to go down that route.

anymore. I've decided I want to do more like foodie trends or new things. So if any of you guys want us to try anything new and rate it or, you know, discuss it, let us know. For season two, obviously. But I'm going to try this little thing that I absolutely obsessed with. Wait, so you like it? Yes. Interesting. My eyes are shut. And I need you to bite this, okay? Keep your eyes shut. I get so nervous. Take a big bite and eat. Open wide. Two. Two. Two. What is hot. Two. There's quite a lot there for you, to be fair. What are the facts on the top of that?

That's tijine, honey. That's the spice you can't find. Tijin on watermelon. It's meant to be amazing on mango and pineapple. No way. You don't like it. I think it was maybe the... Spit or swallow?

That amount you... Well, that was swallowed it. I think it's the amount you forced into my mouth potentially. Maybe it gave you a bit too much there. but I honestly loved this snack. If anyone's got it in the cupboard, have it with mango or pineapple as well. I'm actually not a massive fan of watermelon either.

Well, okay. But this sounds nice on the microphone. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anyway, see ya. That's a shame. This is a shank glass episode and you're just saying, see ya.

As if the listeners don't mean all the world to us. They do mean the world to us. I just fucking love it. Do you? we should have a sleepover sleep over in the studio one time and get candles and that on make it all I'm really get cans and cans tannies tinnies that's some tinnies anyway we will actually round it up because I've got bed to be because she's got a nine to five if she has no reason okay well see you next Tuesday see you next Tuesday oh I'm sad

right stop crying bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you.