A Lot On Your Plate - Ep 8: Dinner Parties, Desert Islands and Death Row Dinners

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

A chance for you guys to get to know us a little better by answering all the questions you've been sending into us. Nosey Buggers.....- - - - - - - - - -Kiwi & Co Website - Use code PLATE20 for 20% off 😁Kiwi & Co Instagram- - - - - - - - - -Follow us on IG @alotonyourplatepodYour HostsJess (@JustJessFood)Zoe (@ZoeQuinnnn)Produced ByCobalt Creative (@cobaltcreativeuk) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the chart topic show topic the best podcast in the world. We're just kidding, let's get it, just get it. This podcast is sponsored by Kiwi and Co, a gorgeous and fun online retailer with lots of standout pieces. We are big, big fans for the brand and it seems you guys are too. we have an exclusive 20% listener discount just for you the code is plate 20 so check it out and let us know if you treat yourself to anything nice welcome back to the pod everyone this week we are going to be talking about ourselves just what we love we asked you anything you wanted to know so we're just going to do a little bonus set covering off things about us

you can get to know us better and maybe we'll get to know each other better as well yes you've sent a lot of interesting questions for us both so we're excited to answer them because next week we have our second guest coming on the podcast and we simply cannot contain our excitement of how excited we are for this person to fly up and be with us and we can grow them and ask them so many questions so we thought it's a good time for you to ask questions about us before we grill someone else yeah really excited about that one it's going to be about crazy I actually can't wait but we're not telling you who it is you just have to wait well let's get started with describing each other in three words great

Here we go, she's going to abuse me. You describe me first so I can see what kind of anger you're going in. Oh, no, no, no, no, it doesn't work like that. I'm kidding, I have my words. Okay, so I would describe Zozo, Zosos, as laid back. Boring. No, that's not boring. You are laid back in many ways in the sense of just anything goes with you, I guess.

I know that. But in the next breath, my second word is you're quite opinionated, which... Right. Okay, but okay. I said to you that that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. You do have strong opinions on things, but in a good way. Like, if you like something, you really like it. If you don't, you are the person that will be in the group chat.

They're like, actually, I don't like that. Yeah, like I wouldn't just say, or I like it too because everyone else does. Yes. Yeah. Okay, okay. And then my last one, I certainly would say that you're very wise. I feel very comfortable talking to you about my problems. I feel like you give me good advice.

I would say you're one of my friends, very few, actually, that I could go to to ask advice or tell you my deepest darkest secrets. And I would trust that you would. to keep them to yourself and you'd give me your best, I don't know, wisdom about my issues. Okay, I'll take that. Was that quite nice? I feel like as a whole, people then, from the three words, would assume I'm boring. Absolutely not.

I think maybe I need to ramp it up a little. You're funny? Would that have been the fourth word? Yeah, I'll say you're funny. But your sense of humour is just... Dry. Yes. I don't intend to be funny.

Yeah. If I ever make someone laugh, I'm like, well, I don't even think that was funny. Yeah, okay. Well, my words for you would be, I'll just get that out of the way. chaotic. Great. I knew this was coming. Yeah.

Energetic. Yeah. And I'm trying to think what the best one is because I could do as loads, like, supportive. What does that mean? Like, I think you're very, like, support people's decisions, that you're very, like, there for them. Oh, that's nice. I don't know how to describe it. Like, kind of, like, thoughtful, caring, all of that in one.

That's lovely. Like, I think you need to get through some of the chaoticness to get to that point. Like, it doesn't necessarily come instantly. Like, I maybe have to say, remember I told you that. Yeah, okay. Like, remember, I've phoned you five times because I was in the bush dying. We didn't just answer the first time.

But it comes. It comes eventually. And it's good when it's there. And it's good when it's there. Oh, that's lovely does. That was kind of me. It was? Wow.

Gee, how would you describe me and Zoe in three words? As a pair or individually? Individually. Same for Zoe. Chilled, sensible. I don't know Zoe's where I know you because I see you in class every week. So what Zoe's had about you is dead on. Chaotic.

Everyone is a more positive word. enthusiastic you've ever seen that episode with your friends we've fun Bobby where everything's the best thing ever yeah I do have a glass half full kind of like look on life don't I yeah and I don't know what the word would be

but whatever the word is for somebody who's just late for everything to zero punctuality is that the word basically I'm just a hot mess slow just slow oh god see Okay, right. So the next one, death row meal. You're literally like in the film Green Mile right now

and you're being walked down to death row but you know that your meal that you could last have and your stomach is waiting at that electric chair. What is it? I think I would choose a Chinese takeaway. What is your Chinese takeaway? I would have chicken curry with onions. It has to have chunky onions in it. Okay. Chips, just normal chips. Not salt and chili chips? No, I never get them but when someone else does, I do really like them. So maybe I need to swim. switch it up to that because I do actually really enjoy them. Fried rice, noodles, and prawn crackers. That sounds a great, great takeaway.

And maybe a mini spring roll. That's something that, see if I'm really being good, that's something that I wish I could just have that. So I think if I was really walking and I was feeling that, I'd be like that would cheer me up a little before I get put to bed. I think mine would be, it's obvious, isn't it? I like a roast of some sort. But I do think I'd be similar in the sense of like,

A chippy, like a chippy takeaway, just love it. I think a roast is great, like, when that's what you want, but a lot more of the time you want something bad, like dirty. And that's like a takeaway. And I think if you were in that situation, you would crave something more like that. Yeah, really good chippy, at the best one I've ever had with some chippy sauce or even like curry sauce or, I don't know.

Because I suppose I'll probably even get the battered sausage because I wouldn't even be caring too much about what I'm eating. Not that I really do anyway, but you know what I mean. That's what I mean. You're about to be trying to breathe. And I probably wouldn't really have that much of an appetit. time to have a dessert, to be honest. So yeah, gee, what would you have?

Dessert all the way. I wouldn't even have a meal. Just straight dessert. Really? Chocolate fudge cake and Ben and jerrys and fat kid inside, really. Forget the meal, just get the dessert then. I did have an Oreo gatto

from Carragans the other day. Carragans. Me and Jason went for dinner throughout the week and it's just like back from holiday, not caring, like it needs to stop. I'm still in that mode. Had a starter, sharing starter, platter thing. A main and then we both get a dessert

and I had a big slab of Oreo Gatto and it was one of the best things I've ever had. Was it like a sharing part of like onion, rings, potato skins and all that? It was chicken pecorah, garlic bread, mozzarella sticks and potato skins. Oh, you bastard. And then I had a chicken teak and masala as I mean. I love like a curry and a pub,

quite like a shite curry, but it's so good that it's an adjacent steak pie and then we both had had a big chocolate fudge cake. That's how? This was the day that the Queen died as well, so that was our toast. Jesus, I won't laugh. Anyway, moving on.

Desert Island. Five things. Now, we were just sort of like deliberating about this before. I would obviously choose my phone and my AirPods or my iPad of some sort, but I don't think that is allowed, is it? No, I think we need to drop it right back to... Survival tactics. Yeah.

I think I would probably go for, I sound ridiculous saying this, but I would like some sort of SPF, like, 50, because I do feel like I'm in the hope that I would see people again and I wouldn't want to be a big dried-up prune and bag of bones by the time people. saw me so I would probably like to protect the skin in the sun. I have put lip gloss because I am always not without my lip gloss but I don't think I'd really be caring too much what I was wearing makeup wise. Would you? Well my five are I would

want my brow gel. That makes me feel a lot better about my life. I would want moisturiser. It can be anything. Yeah that's a good shot actually yeah. Because you're going to dry up like a prune there. Yeah. I would want let not lip gloss like BAM. I'm thinking more of looking after myself here. Yeah. I hairbrush, and socks. Sox? Yeah. One pair?

Well, I'm not going to have anything else on. I want socks on. But are you naked on this island? I don't know, this is a thing. Like, have I just been washed up here from a boat, so maybe I'll have got a bikini on. So if I've got a bikini on, I want socks. Okay.

I don't, I always have socks on. Like, I'm not really a bare foot around the house person. I actually used to sleep with socks on. Do you know what I would need? What would be good? An endless box of matches or like a lighter with all the gas. I feel like having fire would. would be quite good.

So you could cook fish. Yep, true. And I would hope that the desert island had some sort of like coconut trees or something because if not, then I'm choosing an endless supply of water. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Fresh water, not sea water.

Also, actually a torch. Yes. Because I would hate, like, imagine having to move around in the complete darkness. Yeah. I would need a torch. Yeah, that's good shot, actually. Then what, have I get anything to, like, see if I need to go to the toilet,

have I get anything there to wipe my bum with? Because if so, if not, I want. Base wipes. Yeah, it'd be quite good to have some slightly, like, I want toilet roll. How would you be clean? You want a shower gel but then your shower gel would run out. A few bars of soap?

I'm thinking just a sponge or a white that you can kind of like keep using maybe like in the sea. Such girls. What would you choose then? Your survival tax would be like rope, duct tape. Obviously a knife, an axe, a lighter. Oh yeah, shit, we thought about that. A knife would be a good one, wouldn't it? Stuff that might keep you alive, you know, moisture.

Lip gloss. I hate us. I hate us too. Toothbrush. Come on. You need a toothbrush. toothbrush. Yeah, but then you're making two out of your items for the one thing because you need toothbrush and toothpaste.

Maybe you just need toothpaste. I wouldn't even care about the toothpaste. I would just brush the fluff off and the tongue. You know what I mean? You wouldn't really care how you smell. No, obviously not, but your teeth aren't clean without the toothpaste. Okay, so yeah, we maybe would need a knife, some sort of weapon. So maybe we'd change it.

I also put my cats on there, but I'm not sure they would survive without, with some lip gloss in SPF. And also, you would end up using the knife to eat them because you'd be starving. Moving on then, so that was your five. No, I've changed my five now. What then? To a knife, a torch, a lighter, a hairbrush and brow gel. That's ridiculous. Who's on your list?

List is in inverted commas. Now, there's another question coming up, which is our dinner party guests. Okay, now there's people coming up in the list that would also be at the dinner party. But we've been saying this, that the dinner party guests are not necessarily. people that I like, they're people that I want to question, and the rules would be to come to my dinner party would be. You would have to be up for answering every question that I ask you truthfully, regardless who I would tell. I wouldn't tell anyone, but you've got to tell me everything. So I'm going to separate my list here of the people that are on the list and people at dinner party, so that means I can give more guests at dinner party, okay?

Yeah, me too. Okay, so anyone that you fancy can't be at the dinner party. So on my list, I would say, celebrity-wise, of course, Tom Hardy is one of them, love him, Anthony Joshua. Oh, yeah, bugger. No? No. Oh my God, yeah, I love him. I also love Tommy Shelby, but in character.

But I don't know if we're allowed to have fictional characters. Yeah, I'm the same. Him not in character is completely different. But Tommy Shelby, out of peekie blinders, in character. Just does something. Yeah. And also, I've got a little bit of a thing for, you're going to laugh, but I've got a bit of a thing for like little chavs, but I like H.

Absolutely get yourself out in this room. What? I like H. I've got a little thing. for um the austin butler out of elvis i've still not seen that oh ridiculous i might watch it tonight because i'm thinking about him for a few days afterwards no i don't think he's attractive what do you look prim and proper looking yeah no i do get that but he is sexy but yeah i would say maybe i wouldn't mind you know answering josh and tomari taking it in terms

that would be a soyan what about you here you just say that would be a soyan Okay, who... Mime would be, and I'll get the first one out the way because no one can disagree, David Beckham. I disagree. What? I liked him back in the day, but not anymore. I think he's aged a fine wine.

Yeah, he's nice. He is gorgeous, yeah. He bet if he was like... I wish of his mouth. I know, I know, I know. Second, a lot of people don't get this, but Jamie Dorman. Now, I googled this either day of the most fancied men in the world, and he's number one.

Now, that's definitely because of the character who plays of... I'm, like, I'm not. He's from 50 Shades of Grey for anyone that doesn't know. Like, I love the films, but it's not the weird bits that I love. It's just him. Really? Like, I like the possessive, like, mental character he is. And it's weird because you wouldn't want that, right?

But I just love, I just love it. Another man that people like, is that new film that kid? Is it at 365, the one people love him from Netflix. He is sexy, though, to be fair. Yeah, he's that, yeah. What's the name? Jamie Doran. Jamie Doran.

Yeah, he's nice, yeah. Not a bit of me, though. but... And I also really do like Braddocker. Gorgeous. I think Nora DiCaprio as well back in the day until he was a little bit of a... Nah.

Pervert. Not for me. I like this sort of rugged. Okay. Quite like when they grow their hair a bit and I'm like... I'm surprised you don't like Anthony Joshua. No, I know. Not into that.

No. Fair enough. Fair fucks. Okay. Dinner party guest. Dead or alive. Now I've got a few here and I want to talk you through them. Now remember what I said.

They're not people that I genuinely... Well, actually, to be fair, most of these are people that I love. would probably say Hitler, okay? But the reason for that is, so I could just spit at him and ask him every question under the sun. But he's not, he's uninvited. So number one is Freddie Mercury, 100%. He loves cats.

That's my number one as well. Is it? Yeah. Love him, just obsessed with everything about him so much. I just wish I could be his friend. Britney Spears. Okay, that's a good one. I think maybe her now.

Mm-hmm. Just because I just think she's sweet. There's obviously a lot going on, but... She would just be... She'd be a good day. Yeah, good guest to have. I would also like some sort of scientists or complete genius. So, someone like Brian Cox, who's alive, but then like Albert Einstein, who's dead.

So someone that I could ask him a thousand questions about space and just all these weird things I would like to know. A crush obviously would be Stormsy. Now, I don't fancy Stormsy, that's why he wasn't on my list. But I do love him and his energy. So I'd like him to be at the dinner party. Or someone like Kanye West, who, again, I don't really like, but I find his brain quite interesting. so I think he'd be quite a good dinner party guess. And last, I'm between Walt Disney or Tom Hanks.

I love Tom Hanks so much. So there. He's my favourite actor. Yeah, me too. And Robert De Nilo. Yes, he'd be good. So someone like that who, I just think, as a, you know, as a collected team at that dinner party, do you know who I do love her as a female?

And I've just watched this at the cinema the other day. It was called Nope. It's Kiki Palmer. Have you seen her? No. You'll see a lot about her now. I think she's going to be, she's been around Fradius, like a Nickelodeon. But her energy and just her as a person, she's so funny.

And she gets short here? Yeah, she wears it sometimes short, sometimes long. She is, honestly, I think hands down the most likable person I've seen on the internet. And I think she would be a great addition to the party to add a bit of fun and life and just normal. Yeah, she's great. Yeah, that's mine. What would you cook them? Oh, yeah, shit.

I would probably cook them tacos, I think, just like picky bits that I don't want, I don't want the conversation to be too much about the food. I want us all to help ourselves and just let the conversation flow. Right. Well, I'll tell you mine. Fred the Mercury is one of mine too. Whitney Houston. Yes.

Princess Diana. So you can ask you all the questions. I want to know everything and I want to know that my opinion's right because it definitely is. Christine Quinn. I would quite like Christine Quinn. Oh, she's a good shout. Because I listen to a few podcasts with her on

and she says like loads of the stuff that she does is twisted and all this and I just want to know the truth about her. Right. Like, is she that person on Sally on Sunset or is she not? Is it like, is it an act? Yeah, because she portrays that it basically is an act and that they make her do things so that she seems worse and she's like it's actually not like that.

So I need to know the truth. Michael Jackson. Brilliant. I just need to know more about him. Yeah. Because remember he can tell you everything. Yeah. He's got to be honest with you.

I want to know everything and I want to know if he has actually a paedophile. God, yeah. Because I don't think he is. Do you not? Not really. Oh, I don't know. I can't get anything. That's a bit political.

Yeah. Anyway, maybe, like, Julia Roberts. She's lovely, isn't she? Yeah, just for, like, a wee nice moment for the eye. Because I like her. I do like her. And what I would make, like, kids food, I'd make, like, chicken nuggets, smiley potato faces,

spaghetti hoops, scarlet bread. Would you? Yeah. Why? Because it's just funny. Like, you're all these, like, big people and I'm just making eat, like, smiley faces. Potato alphabets.

I saw her TikTok yesterday, and it was a girl doing, like, a trend, and she was making beans on toast. And in the comments, obviously it must have gone viral, so many Americans were like, are you actually pouring beans on bread? That's partly not a thing. Beans on toast is underrated to me,

especially about cheese on top. Cheesy beano. That's the Scottish thing, that. Yeah. But yeah, I didn't know that. I thought that was a worldwide thing. Yeah, me too. Jay.

Yeah, this is going to be interesting. First is Jesus. Good one. Because, first of all, I'd be interested whether he showed up or no. That would tell you a lot, right? So if he shows up, they're good. And if he does show up, then you can find out a lot of shit.

Non-religious, but obviously if he did live 2,000 years ago, there's some questions to be answered, you know. Absolutely. Then Donald Trump. Yes, good one. That is a good one. Just because I want to know, is that real, like, there's somebody actually live their life like that. Okay. And then that'd be some conversation between him and Jesus.

Tom Brady. Who? Tom Brady. Oh, they... Quarterback for, what was Tampa Bay and now, but it was. Yeah. Yeah. He's just the greatest athlete of all time. No questions.

And then when you said, Can You West, I love Kanye, like music-wise. I've just seen Richard's shoes for the other day as well. His fashion's horrendous. The Yeezys. But he is like, he's obviously an absolute genius, but he's went off the ranch sort of thing, so I think it'd be interesting, I love them.

And then it's either be Tiger Woods, same as Tom Brady, just somebody who's just amazing at what they do, or Eminem, just because they're a massive family. They're really good. That would be a great dinner party. He had no women there, though. I did think that. Sandra Bullock, just for fun.

Ashie. She needs several food. Naked. You've been eating sushi off her. Wine on the table. Imagine that. I'm Donald Trump, Jesus. And G.

He ensuci off you. Okay. I love that question. What would you make them? I mean, if Jesus comes or having wine and bread, then we're right. Right.

Your ideal night out. Now this says your night out Glasgow. I'm aware we have a lot of listeners on here that aren't from Glasgow, but my ideal night out in Glasgow would easily be Ross's bar. For anyone that doesn't know what that is, it's just a bit of like a divey pub that does karaoke and it's just great fun. I just love it there. I just love all, I just love those sort of nights out. But if I am trying to be a, you know, a bit more cafe, then I love hide and seek, which is a sort of like late night bar. It's probably definitely better later it gets. It's open until four. Yeah, it's kind of like

clubby. Yeah. But that's quite a new thing. Apart from that, just good food. I don't like any of the clubs in Glasgow. No, me neither. Mine would be the same. Like, pub, kind of more casual would be Rossi's Bar. Yeah.

Singing karaoke. And then more, like, for maybe an occasional, but maybe like West End, the parlour. Yeah, that's nice, actually. Ashton Lane's nice, isn't it? Most disappointing meal you've ever had out, Zoe. Do you remember it? No.

Food just doesn't, like, I don't get that disappointed. I don't really get that hyped up for a meal. to be honest. Why are you, my friend? But, like, I do love food, but I'm kind of like, oh, that wasn't that good. Then I'm over it.

Yeah. And I don't think I'm that passionate enough about a specific question or, yeah, that I would be like, I'm so disappointed by that. It is if it's maybe cost a lot or like stuff like that and you're about like, okay, that's fair. It wasn't worth it.

I do think I'm a bit like that too, to be fair. I don't think too much into it. There's nothing coming to me with that one. I have one, but I'm not going to name and shame. But there is one place in Glasgow that I went to... Just name and shame. I can't do that. But I went to five guys afterwards because it was so bad.

And I'm one of those people where I'll find the goodness... I'll find goodness in something. That's kind of what I'm like with food. I'm like... Yeah. Oh, at least I had the chapsie. But no, there was not one thing I can even tell you. The restaurant itself, the service was awful.

The food was tragic. It was expensive. It's quite a popular place in Glasgow. Italian, I'll give you that. Awful. It was like microwave food. and I was, I can't stop thinking about how tragic it was. I know, Adam, and people love it.

And I was like, no, I can't believe they love this place. Maybe it was a bad day, but just everything, it was just shit. So yeah, that was it for me. But apart from that, I would say, I find everything's got a bit of good about it. Yeah. Now, we might need Graham to help us out on this next question because somebody wrote him, would you take the blue or red pill? Now, I'm aware this is from the Matrix.

I've never. That's not my genre. Now, G's sort of described this to us in a way, we can understand would you like to give us the ultimatum so if this life you live right now is a simulation and you somebody tells you that this is actually fake there's a real world somewhere you're actually plugged in and gives you the option of do you want to continue living in this world unaware and just live your life or do you want to be unplugged and see what the real world and that's the two pills the blue pill is see the real world the red pills just continue

to live your life unaware blue for me what was that one again that I go to the real world Hell no. I'm red. Fuck it. I might take both and see where it takes me. Risk it all. Dead. No, I think I was saying this before, but I like this life. I think I would just like to still hear in pure ignorance and can carry on living the dream.

I suppose you wouldn't know, but I couldn't go on with life known that that was also a thing. So if you had the choice, I would need to... But if I could do the pill, though, G, would I forget that there was another? I think that's the choice. You've now been told that information. can you take the pill to just go back and just you forget that conversation never happens so you never know there's another world but you're being offered the opportunity to see

potentially what it's like like I know I would forget if I took the other one and I would never know this conversation happened right but at that moment in time I'd be thinking I can't go on knowing this even though I would forget but at that time I would think no I need to imagine seriously having somebody giving you that question then maybe I would be like oh so this is fake this is a root this is a dream what's waiting out there for me and imagine if it was just holy shit you'd be like take me back but you wouldn't know oh yeah you wouldn't know would you if you go and see the real world you can never go back

but you would you know you always know that you're now in the real real world oh but if you take the other pool you stay in this world and you don't know there's another world oh I'm not continuing this conversation it's a film is it

is actually a really famous critical thinking problem like it's the Matrix who's used it when it supports don't get in my head I won't sleep tonight I think things like space and anything like that just messes with my head. Don't start saying like where did the word like wall come from or where did the word car come from?

No, but what I mean is, like, let's not. You know when you go on Google F and you zoom out and then it zooms out to the globe and then you think, holy hell, you are just standing on a floating ball of fire in the middle of loads of other floating balls? We're not fire. Well, sorry, we're floating around a ball of fire. Do you know what I mean? I'm going to be awake all night I do often think and it's a conversation you can't get too deep in

like how do things just start but that's just that as a whole The bread's in the beath Do you know my name in Greeks Eve In my village office called Adam So technically about Adam and Eve And that was unintentional I started this world

I'm as important as whatever God there is up there You're like Jesus Yeah Jesus What is your go-to star books order. We know what that is. Apple juice. Apple juice or a peppermint tea for me. I'm not a coffee drinker. And I always think tea from somewhere like that, like just breakfast tea is shocking. I do agree with you, especially when it's served in paper cups. Yeah, the ratio is never right.

Even if you're in a cafe or something and you're putting your own milk and sugar in, it's still shocking. It's only good in the house. Yeah. I wonder why that is? I'm thinking too much. I think of what you do this now. Is it because you get, so say we're at a caffeine, you get like a teapot, maybe for me it's too strong, like it's been in the water for too long because I don't really leave it in that long really in the house. I think it's that because it's too much of a, kind of like a metal taste. I think it's all to do with the cup that you drink it out of. Yeah, maybe.

So yeah, I'm just an apple juice of peppermint tea. Unless I'm really needing a kick up the bum, I'll get a coffee and I would get an oat milk cappuccino, so it's not exciting anyway. Well, yeah, you do that oatmeal, don't you actually? I'm one of those basic bitches, where we've spoke about this before, I am hands down a marketer's dream when it comes to anything that's new or on trend or are like

if I'm in something like boots and there's an end of counter like I don't know it's advertising the world's best mascara 8 to 9% of women said this produced long lashes in two days I'm like sold I believe everything so when it comes to Starbucks

and I'm at that crucial moment where you're looking at the menu I'm like oh a pumpkin salted maple caramel deluxe coffee. Can I have that, please, with whipped cream? I'm just one of them. So I'm a pumpkin spice girl at the moment.

But if I am being a basic bitch, I would have an almond latte or iced. I've been trying to be good and have just a merrikano recently. Is that just black? Yeah, but then I'd have a bit of almond milk in it because too much heaviness does annoy me. Am I gut?

Yeah, if I ever have a coffee, it's kind of like it's replacing my breakfast. Yeah. Because I find it's a lot more, like, thicker than tea. Next question. What did you want to be when you were growing up? A singer. Did you?

Yeah. I still wish I was a singer. Can you sing? No. I can hold a tune and maybe like harmonise. Like I could be in the chorus. But I don't want to be in the chorus. I want to be the lead singer.

So it's either all or nothing and I just can't, I will never be that lead singer. There's always mum's in the choir. It's so cute. It's the cutest thing ever. Yeah, I'm coming from quite a musical background. You've got a piano in your living room, you posh bitch. That is true. She actually has a grand piano in a living room.

I remember when we first all went around yours when it was your birthday and we were like, you kept this quiet? What do you want me to say? Hi, I'm Zoe. I've got a grand piano. My living room. Yes! Just so you know my mum bought that one time.

Yeah, so that's always background. But nobody plays it and she just gets like a guy to come over and retune it because you need to do that. It's like every six months or something like that. So then when he's in he retunes, he then like sits and plays like a tune to make sure it's all bloody lovely that. What? So we actually just play as a tune.

Is it piano when he... Yeah, then he'll play for like a good few minutes to make sure like all the strings are in the right place, whatever and it's really a stunning thing to witness because it's just like what you need to play. Wow. And then the next thing you're like my little brother playing, Mary had a little lamb.

Thank God I don't love them anymore. Oh, I love him. Obviously I had many. Something to do with animals growing up like a vet. I think I said that in the previous episode. And then, yeah, I wanted to be famous. I just thought I could see my name in lights when I was young.

And don't you feel the complete opposite now? Because I do. A million percent. I would never, I think the only way I'd want to be famous now and I actually was something I do regret. My mom did put me in like acting school. It was like drama school.

I think acting is the only sort of famous role where I think you're respected. Yeah. You kind of have a little bit of peace. You can kind of live. You kind of come and go from it like depending on. Yeah.

Like a lot of actors have their one moment and that's just kind of them for life. you kind of left to your own, you know, devices, aren't you? Like, singers are, like, pestered and everything about their life is so invasive. But if you're an actress, I think some of them, obviously there's some that are really famous. But people think, like, Tom Hanks, like, you don't know what he's up to. He's not in the daily mail every bloody week. But also, an actor, an actress, your job is actually not in the public eye.

You do all that behind the scenes. So then once it comes out, people are watching it on, like, screens. Whereas a singer, you're having to perform live. is live and it's actually physically you that's in front of these people. That's very true. An actress is between. And they're also acting.

They're not actually being themselves. Yeah. So yeah. But what I will say, actors and actresses do tend to be pretty odd characters. A lot of them... Because they probably lose their own identity because you're playing all these different people.

I think now if I had to choose a job, if I could go into something completely different, I would want to do, like, I would want to be some sort of surgeon. Would you? But that's from watching Grey's anatomy. But more like the way they do it, I wouldn't want to actually...

What, you don't mind cutting up stuff and stitches? No, I don't want to think about the deepness of it. I just want to, when I watch Grey's Anatomy, I wish that was me. Okay. But then if I actually had to do it, then... I've never watched Grey's Anatomy. I've heard it's brilliant.

But there's so much to watch. Because I had stopped, and then when, like, lockdown and everything had, I picked it back up at where I'd left off, and oh, so good. Need you watch it. Yeah, I might do. Well, you know, I can't concentrate for longer than 10 minutes, I might struggle for 55 seasons of Grey's Anatomy, but... Yeah, true.

I just wish I did something that helped. Like, was like, a service. Yeah. To people. Okay. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Talking of seasons, the greatest of all time is coming back in a few days.

Handmaid's Tale. Yes. Anyone out there that hasn't watched Handmaid's Tale, why are you doing it? It's truly the best, one of the best, Caesar's series I've ever watched. It is. I agree.

Messed up. So messed up, but it's so intense. It's kind of, that was definitely my favourite until I was finally convinced to watch Stranger Things and there's nothing better than that. Richard said that as well. And that is so not a me thing. Like I'm not in Harry Potter.

Star Wars, all that. I'm surprised you like that. Weird cult shit that people are into. It took me a long time to get into strangers things and it was actually Jason that suggested that I nearly fell off the couch when he said because he's really not into all that stuff either.

Best thing I've ever watched. Really? I don't know if I could get on board with watching like little kids. No, but it completely goes away from that. Like it's definitely not a children's show. It's scary. Sci-fi though.

I know it's not for me either but it's so good. Maybe I'll give it a wee bash. A wee bash. Thoughts on a solo holiday. Absolutely. Maybe now I'm older. I think I would love that.

Yeah, I couldn't have done it younger. I think you want to be around people so much more. But now when you've got things to like switch off from, you feel like life can be quite busy, like overwhelming. That's perfect. I think the only daunting side would be, obviously, when you go out, let's say there's restaurants you want to try. That's very true.

And you book for a table for one. I don't think I'd like that. No, I would. Yeah, but equally, I could, I can, talk, both of us really, you can talk to anyone. I do like meeting new people, maybe not so much. I would never spark a conversation to someone. Would you know? That I don't know. No way. I would always like, don't get me wrong. I'll speak back to like someone that's maybe like serving me my dinner, whatever. I'm not cold to them. So you never go, so what's you, what are you up to

then? Absolutely no way. Bloody hell I ask of everything. I get up to a door at like a cafe whatever and I'm like, no, you go first. Do you? It's just, I don't know what it is. But I'm saying I would love a solo holiday, right? But that's because if I go away with work on my own, or even if I'm not on my own, a lot of the time, if we're really busy, we don't get there late, I'll have like, I deliver out to the hotel myself. And I love that. Like, I love just that, like,

me time. Put like a series on that I'm watching, catch up, have a meal on my own. But if I did it all the time, I wouldn't want to go out for dinner on my own. No, yeah. Me neither to be fair. I find having dinner also quite sociable. Yeah. Yeah. But I think loads of people do it nowadays. You see lots of people

doing solo holidays more than ever. Well, interestingly, I went to Ibitha last summer. It was honestly brilliant, and I went, I flew from Glasgow, and I was sat between two girls, so there was one girl to my left and to my right, I was in the middle, and I got talking to both of them, and the girl on my left, bless her heart, she's amazing, I actually saw her in Ibithra again this year, she was still out there, I was like, oh, so what you up to? And she says, oh, I'm just, no, I just thought, fuck it, I'm just going to go off and work a season in Ibith. I was like, she was young, she must have been about 22.

Oh, wow, good for you, that was amazing. and the girl to my right was on her own and she just joined a Facebook group of single travellers and she was also going to Ibiza on her own to meet up with this Facebook group and I caught up with them but I've obviously followed them both on Instagram afterwards

and both of them had the time of their life and they met so many people the one girl to my left is now still out there with a boyfriend, loads of friends, the girl to my right, I think she had the best somewhere ever and met so many people that were also travelling on their own. So I just thought it was wonderful and I was actually travelling on my own

because I was meeting my friend at the side but I just thought, God, you girls are so brave. The girl, to my right, she was a bit older than me. And I just thought, that is amazing that you could do that. Yeah, they had the best summer ever. So if you're thinking about doing it, I would suggest doing it or joining a group if you feel uncomfortable when you want to meet other people there.

I did actually when I went to Australia, I wasn't meeting my cousin. Like, I went for a month. I don't think I forget as well. I wasn't meeting my cousin for maybe like three days. But to be fair, I obviously had the major jet lag. So I think for the first day, I was kind of like sleeping through the day and then just went for a walk at night and whatever. But the other like two or three days I was on my own

and I think I just got like takeaway food that I could walk around with so that I wasn't sitting in place on my own. I definitely didn't sit in a restaurant on my own. But that was also before that I had done quite a good bit of travelling work so now I probably, maybe I would go out in a restaurant maybe in another country. Yeah, maybe not around in Scotland. Yeah. I really enjoyed that. I just walked about solid of things myself

and no one was even awake because of the time difference on my phone and it was like hard at first but then I got used to I quite like, because I was like, I'm not even just sitting on my phone somewhere. I'm actually just looking around me and taking it. Exploring. I would recommend it. I think it's very good for the mind. I love that.

So a couple of individual questions that were asked. Sorry, what is your job? I think a lot of people would like to know. I work in marketing for a beauty brand. Yes. Based in Glasgow. And I do, I'm the brand manager of the brand, so I do all the marketing stuff. Events, influencer, retail, load of stuff.

So what does a day in the life look like in your office? absolute chaos but it's great yeah no day's the same no days the same obviously you've worked at the same company so you know but it's just you get pulled into loads of things that you don't even know are happening and you're just split all over the place but it's good fun and all the girls and guys I work with are great and it's a very like collaborative yeah industry so very um innovative company you're always working on like new exciting projects working with amazing people um I go to london a lot because obviously the industry is like much bigger down there. And you're going on a work trip soon, aren't you? Where you go in? I'm going to Can.

Oh my God. South France. That's so cool. Which has never been before and I've got quite a lot of free time so I'm really excited about that and I think my friend's going to join me. That's not right. Actually on my own. So yeah that's my job without saying too much. And what did you study at, did you go to uni? Yeah. I studied international fashion brandon at Glasgow Cali uni which is why I went into a fashion at quiz clothing at first. Yeah, where we met. Yeah. But I, beauty's harder than fashion because you're not just saying where they're and take a picture or you're not just doing like photo shoots for clothes that you just change all the time whereas

it's a lot more science led i'd say yeah it was very overwhelming when i went from fashion to beauty there i couldn't believe the difference you need to know like i really need to know all the ingredients what they all do like what happens with different skin tones different skin types and the company that um zoi works for that i used to there's actually four brands under that umbrella as well so there's you have to kind of know all the different things don't you yeah especially on this role that i'm in now I used to only do, like, influence our marketing. Yeah. But now that I do the brand stuff,

I need to know literally everything that's going on with the brand. Yeah. Like, I need to be across everything and make sure everything, like, aligns, and the marketing is working. It's more like target-led. Basically, I'm just very important. You are, darling. Quick, random question.

I'm sure Zoe's Instagram has been swarmed with, she's actually told me she's had, like, over a thousand new followers on your Instagram. People love me now. I'm actually... I'm the nation's sweetheart. You are! So, somebody wants to know where your black loavers were from,

that you posted you the day. I can't tell you, it's a secret. Kid, and it's just H-N-M. We'll put a little link on the story. I wish I could say they were like... Prada. Prada, but they're not. But we'll link you up.

Yeah. And they're cheap, but like 24 pounds or something. I love it. But put plaster on your heels, that's all I'll say. Would you rather take an inch off his height or an inch of his dick? That is highly disturbing. Why would you ask my question like that? I just wanted to see your face.

I would take it off of his, Willey's. Why, because it's massive! I'm not having this conversation anymore. I actually don't know what I would say either. Maybe Willie. It's packing all right. Because I don't think he's packing too well in the height department, so. Okay.

You have got questions, I'll ask you. Go on then. Are you going to stay in Scotland forever? Honestly, I would love to. Please do. Everyone tell Jess you has to stay in Scotland forever. Oh, no, I would love to, and that is the plan. I hope so anyway.

But you just don't know. like I don't have any family up here either, so if and when I was thinking about having a child or could, yeah, I think I would find that quite difficult. Yeah, I get that. So the problem is, and if I move back down south, which I haven't done for so long, I think I would really, really miss Scotland. It's so difficult, especially with Richard being Scottish as well, I just don't know. But he doesn't really have much family here either, so it's not like we're staying up here

for a family. We are genuinely here for his job and my other job, obviously now I can work wherever, but I love Scotland and everyone from him. So that's primarily like most of people that follow me as well from here. The answer is yes. Sad times. We don't want to think about that. What a morbid question.

Next, how did you get any cooking? So my mother, my mother dearest, is a chef. So I've always been brought up around nice, lovely food. But then my mum actually married her husband. And she moved weirdly, the house that he lived in for 20 years. It was on the street next to where we live. But they'd never ever bumped into each other except in the pub that New Year's Eve. It was very strange.

So anyway she ended up moving out But when I say moving out She literally moved to the next street So I lived in my house on my own And a friend of mine moved in with me So I obviously had to cook a lot more for myself At the same time I was quite interested in going to the gym And eating a lot more healthier

So I was experimenting loads then I would say I've always been into cooking But my mum always cooked for me if you like And then I started experimenting and cooking things Like in a healthier way And then when I moved up here I then obviously had to cook for me and Richard And yeah I think I just I guess it's just in my blood

But I would say the just Jess Food page came about from just cooking for me and Richard every night and posting about it on my story and then became quite popular people were just saying oh how did you make that and I thought oh okay this is quite a good idea and now it's my job what the hell what the hell crazy crazy crazy crazy girl I really

hate cooking so much I wish I was you I just don't do it it's just not for me who does it then Jason Jason mostly cooks yeah I have to admit I do fall in and out of love with it I wouldn't say I'm every day I'm like yes I can't wait to go home and make a big fucking ragu like I'm not like that I definitely go through phases of where I'm feeling really inspired. Or sometimes I just genuinely love, me and Richard love, salmon, rice and roasted veg.

Or there's a teakar paste that I'm obsessed with and I make chicken teaka with peas and right, like, just basic stuff. Yeah. Don't sit there and think that I'm eating three courses of posh food every night because I'm absolutely not. I love the simple things as well. I think it's because also Jason works from home, so he's there to like start the process before I'm home. Yeah. So if he wasn't and I was living on my own or even if it was vice versa and he was at the office and I was and I would need to do it

Yeah So it's probably just that I've not really had to Yeah And if I ever do do the cooking It is quite simple stuff But I suppose that's fine I'm getting fed, that's the main thing That's the main thing

Malnourished Do you attend Richard's football games Jess? Do you support your lovely boyfriend in his career? I don't enjoy football personally gives me anxiety also I have no one really to go with to the games

so I used to go with his dad quite a bit but so I don't really have anyone that I can drag along and remember when I used to work in the office the Saturdays was my day to myself so it was the day to go and get my nails done the weekends were my time for me to go and get my nails done my hair done etc etc so for me I just felt like I wanted that day for myself

but you know when I do go and watch him I have this immense pride and I really really do love it and I'm still to this day would love to witness him score a goal doesn't happen often but it has happened So, yeah, the answer is, I do go, but since COVID starts, I couldn't go and watch him for two years, and I do genuinely feel like I forgot about it now. So when he goes, I'm going to work, I just kind of forget that I can go.

Yeah. So the answer is, yes, I am actually a very supportive girlfriend, and I love that. But no, I don't go and watch every game. I probably should go a bit more, but I would just need somebody to go with me. I actually met some lovely girls, actually, in the football industry. I actually think you do it well, because I agree, like your life shouldn't be around. going and watching your boys and play football when it's their job as well because it's like

that's the norm to them yeah he actually doesn't mind me not going all the time but he says that when i'm there he loves it so that one breaks my so yeah i should i should go a bit more also let's remember i'm i don't tend to have many weekends free um see my mates always sit around in absolutely nothing i don't see him very much in fact this is the first weekend in ages i've spent with him he's actually waiting outside right now for me to go and spend the rest of the day with him bless him someone's a lot on your plate i've just had a question come in question for jess for the pod i think you mentioned you have polycystic ovaries is there anything you do to reduce symptoms etc and how did you know you had it and did you find it hard to get it diagnosed um diagnosis so i was diagnosed with

polysicic ovaries back in 2014 had very irregular period so i always knew there was something wrong down there um but i just didn't really know much about it i would say that there's things that i would notice are I carry weight a lot around my middle, so that's quite a sign. I really struggle to lose weight around my mid. Occasionally have a few hairs sprouting out of my chin. I know some people have full on beards, don't they? I know that's quite a normal thing, but yeah, that's quite a sign as well, like hairs. I used to have quite painful periods, used to be quite heavy, and what I did was, that was around the time to answer the question about me eating a lot more healthier. I definitely changed my diet. I reduced my sugar intake and I just was just a bit more wary of what I was eating. That can

definitely help reduce the cysts on your ovaries. I would also say get regular checkups. And now, honestly, I got checked about three years ago and they said they couldn't see any cysts on my ovaries anymore. So I do need to get another check. But I would say that I get regular periods now and I do think that definitely looking after myself a bit better. And exercising really helps. I've managed to maintain it. So fingers crossed, I have no difficulty in the future. But yeah, I know a lot of women have it. So definitely, if you feel like you do, definitely go and get it checked up and get a scan. And you need to get it checked up every year.

Sorry, a little bit of a rant. Anyway, that brings us to the end of the podcast about us. I hope you enjoyed it, learn more about us. And next week we have our other guests. So that's really exciting. So please tune in. Keep sharing reviews. Tell us how much you love it.

Don't tell us if you don't love it. Because we don't want to hear it. And that's all from us this week. Yes, I will see you next Tuesday. Bye. Bye. Thank you.