A Lot On Your Plate - S2 Ep18: Missing Butt Plug, Mums Panties & Pink Eye

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

This week on ALOYP were bringing you, by popular demand, Sex Part 2! All we're saying is strap in tight...it gets juicy real quick. Enjoy!- - - - - - - - -Follow us on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@alotonyourplatepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Your HostsJess (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@JustJessFood⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)Zoe (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@ZoeQuinnnn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)Produced ByCobalt Media (@cobaltmediauk)For Business Enquiries - [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, here we go. I've been expecting that one. No, I was right. Try to hold like a feeling for so long. And if you feel like I feel, baby. Oh, let's get it all. Ah, no. Oh, sugar.

Happy Tuesday, people. Do that sugar bit again. Oh, sugar. I was just saying to G and Zoe there. I was like, you're not going to believe what's like I've got. Zoe wanted Tom Jones sex bum. Well, that just came out of my head. I was actually thinking on the train home.

what's a sex song and nothing, then. Marvin Gay, sexual healing as well. When I get that feeling, I want... Sexual healing. Gee, what's the sex song? I don't know, but I don't think these stories are going to be about sexual healing. They are certainly not. It is that time, everybody that you've been waiting for,

part two of the embarrassing sex stories. Embarrassing, there's some funny ones. In fact, I actually haven't read them. Zoe's read a couple, and I said, do you need to stop? I only really read that ones were coming in, that we were getting responses. Okay.

And then I stopped. So it's going to be our live reactions again because they were so... Yeah, that's the best. For us, Rizzlewler, we are drinking, of course, some Ponstar martinis. Pop!

Canned. Fucking hell. Oh, fucking well done, Zoe. She spilt it everywhere. Gee? Oh, my. Gee. Gee.

Why did you just not, why didn't you put it in the bowl you did? Just let it run all over the carpet. Never mind the table or the bowl or the actual glass you've got. Let's just pour it all over the floor. That is actually all down me. It's bright pink. Oh. Oh my.

We have to take a break. She's back. Got wet very quickly in this day. That was too far. Right, we'll start it with that. And if you guys remember, Graham purchased me and Zoe some pickles, and I thought it would be, you know,

on brand to bring the Big Papa. So we're going to shot some of this big boy and bite into it. I think you should see how far you can get that down your throat. Great. I don't have good gag reflex. I'm not doing that. Right, we have to shot a bit of the pickle juice.

This should be in your macro, Zoe. Protein. Why are we shot in the juice on it? Don't drink milk. Yeah. This is what they're doing on TikTok now. So the pickle was obviously a trend, but they're now shot in the sour and the hot pickle.

People are also promoting skin cancer if you have the sunbeds, so will we do that as well? No. Right, cheers for tears. Oh, you're fighter. There's fucking no chance. Just take a sip. It's not that bad, is it?

It's actually nice. Right, I'm gonna take a bite at the pickle and so with you. Oh. We've really started on the high. Look right into the camera. Ooh! That big boy. Could you see how I can get it in your throat? No, Zoe. Why don't you?

I'm used to the big boys. Jason! Right, ready? Oh. The bit as like celebrity, celebrity bit that came out your mouth there was disturbing. You know what? That isn't as good without the... Chewy bit, the sweets.

Mm. And the tijine. Oh, it's juicy. He's jizzing a bit. Fucking hell. Mm. Yeah, but I had the whole skin of that there. You've got the inner flesh.

Nice? I mean... It's a dill-flavoured one as well. I feel like I'm quite into the pickle thing now but I think taking a big bite of one like that and needs the sweets. Yeah, agree.

The chew, it needs the chewy bit and the spicy bit. Anyway, I said to Zoe, I was like, texted last night I was like, Zoe, I just feel like I've got so much to talk about and we haven't got enough time. And I said what?

What was going to talk about? she's like I don't have anything to say and I was like I have a list of things in my notes to talk about but I don't think we'll have the time today because you guys were sent us so many stories I think there's only one thing we can address and we should address is Tina Turner

RIP babes I'm gutting at that are you especially because we went to see the musical I know I feel we just got quite engrossed in our life and now she's pambreed I know she shouldn't laugh but yeah no she was a legend and did you see because you watch it Screek as well, don't you?

But did you see, I can't remember his real name, but David, he posted the one where he was serenaded on stage by the guy in the really nice version of Simply the Best. He posted it on Instagram last night, and I was like, oh wow, what a song. Very nice version. Yeah, I've got a whole list of things I need to speak about, but I think maybe we should wait until next week's episode.

You're just going to eat you wait. We are. Or we're just maybe going to have to start having bonus episodes, Geream. Maybe that's coming. Maybe not. So let's get right stuck in about it. Right, well, we start on a high. It's actually a bit of a low.

Oh. But let's start with it, right? Oh, okay. So, me and my situation ship, we're getting frisky and decided to get the butt plug involved. We're getting all the 50 shades away, so he puts a blindfold on me and applies both lube and muscle relax onto my backside.

We started getting into it. it, I'm loving life. He then reaches down and pushes the butt plug in further. I'm caught up in the moment still with the blindfold on and next minute he goes, oops, I think that went fully in. I literally jump up, whip the blindfold off and scream, are you fucking

joking? I touch my butt and realise it's not there. It's not there. It's fully inside me. Complete panic comes over my body, my life flashed before my eyes and had visions of me up in A&E looking for the butt plug. I just couldn't believe a full object was floating around

inside my body. No. I feel weird even saying it. Luckily he was so calm and turned around and said, and said turn round and I'll get it out, which he did. That was the end of the butt plugs. How did he get it out? Fish around

in there? I just do not understand how that is all fitting up there. But doesn't like a boot plug have a base? Like a flat end to stop that happening? From a picture that got recently put in our chat yesterday I did think that but I'm

feeling like there must be ones that are just, you know, just like vibrate to bullets. I think people are using things for their butts it's not a butt plug. I think a plug's supposed to have the end on it. Yeah. But they're doing other things. Right. Regardless, I just, it's one thing I'm not sure

about. No, nothing's going in my ass. To be honest. Well, I'm glad it's out and I'm glad you're okay, do you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. That's the main thing here. I hope in my messages make sense and follow correctly for my sex part two entry. but if not my story is about going back with a guy on a night out we were at his place and he asked me to call him daddy

I was on all fours on his living room floor surrounded by pictures of his children I did partake in saying daddy on the occasion but mentally scarred from the pictures being there more than anything and had terrible carpet burns on the knees no that's fucking weird I think that's sick in the head can't believe I'm writing this redneck but it's too funny

was doing it with my boyfriend all of a sudden he stopped what he was doing started screaming and rolled and rolled himself up in the dovy like an actual caterpillar in a cocoon I was like what the actual fuck are you doing pal pure embarrassed thinking I broke his willy

and it turns out he'd seen a spider on the adjacent wall and freaked out safe to say we never could finish that night I was so shatty I think that would put you off I was about 18 having sex with my boyfriend at the time in my shared childhood bedroom. We were using a condom and I can't remember exactly what happened,

but he must have felt the condom come off his dick, so we stopped shagging. My boyfriend checked his dick and it wasn't there. He looked about the bed and still couldn't find it. I had a feeling in, I had a feeling my fanny, the words she's using. I had a feel in my fanny and it wasn't there either. We both got out of the bed And we're looking about the surrounding area I was panicking thinking it somehow flew over

To my sister's messy side of the room And it was lodged amongst her mess A few days past and there was still no sign of the condom I was starting to think it was stuck right in my fanny But surely not Anyway, I was in the Brayhead toilets And could feel something weird when I wiped There it was

The used days old scrunched-up condoms Stuck in my gooch Just to confirm I had washed since we shagged So fuck knows how I was wedged in my gooch for that long Disgusting Those bad shoes What a vocab Gouche

Why is that in there and how's it not came out When you've been in the shower? No idea So I've got a guy pal who I've never even kissed or slept with He's been with a few of my pals and then one night a few years go kiss one of my uni pals. We got in after a night out, ABC, I think it was propaganda, and he had pulled my pal.

We got in and we were so drunk, went to bed and went to sleep. I woke up about 5am and could hear this weird noise and felt my back was wet, turned round and he was wanking whilst lying beside me. He was supposed to be on the pool out bed in the living room and I was in one of those black bodysuits that was covered in his spunk. I chucked him out and then didn't speak for a year. I was so horrified. We do speak now.

also I was a skynch student at the time so I just washed and continued to wear the spunky bodies. That is disgusting. Why would you spunk all over someone, sorry? Got some weird fitting. So basically, long story short, I matched this guy on hinge. We were talking for quite a while and finally went on a date. We went into Liverpool for some drinks and ended up getting far too drunk,

which is when he suggested we go to Chinatown and got some food around 1am. We never made it to Chinatown and ended up back at his apartment. He's a scouser, so we get in, he tells Electra to play The Beatles. Next minute, he was taking my clothes off. Obviously, one thing led to another, and then we fell asleep. I woke up at 4 a.m. with Hey Jude playing still, and could not find my knickers anywhere. He was fast asleep next to me, and I was creeping around his bedroom in the dark looking for my knickers,

that were nowhere to be seen, so I put my outfit back on, snuck out his apartment, and got in the Uber without my knickers. I text him in the morning to let him know that my underwear may be lying around his room somewhere, which is when I got this voice note Yeah, you know where your fucking niggas are I threw them out of the window when I fucking took them off they're on a building site

Yeah, you know where When he took them off He launched them out of his bedroom by accident which was down onto a building site to say when he looked later on they'd gone Fuck's sake Someone's always sniffing them when I was honestly about 17 and still living in my mum's

I was blind drunk after being out one night and me and my neighbour ended up having sex in the front room on the pool out bed I had no awareness of noise or anything like that since I was so steaming it only dawned me that someone had entered the room when the big light came on I looked up to see my mum standing in the doorway while I'm giving it and talk with my tits out

and she's telling the boy to go home after being woken up by the noise we were making. As we had been rudely interrupted we decided to go over to his instead to finish what we'd started It was dark in the room And to be honest I got to a point

Where I just wanted to go to sleep So I turned over And left him to sort of self out As I started to drift off to sleep With the faint sound of wanking behind me I very suddenly went deaf in one ear At first I was confused Almost panicked

Then I realised that Without him known because it was dark He'd unintentionally ejaculated into my ear And made me deaf That's opportunery Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha no she said what i washed that ear out for days oh my god are you like lying on your side as well or something you're like all guppy oh poor cow no so basically i was in magloof i was probably the most drunk i've ever been in my life

that's a lie but one of the most drunk i've ever been in my life all those unlimited sexes on the beach and vodka red bulls so I take this guy back to my hotel room, get down to business you know, Magalus Shagaluf and I was doing bits and I was sick while this thing was in my mouth bearing in mind I just had the cabab with this

geyser and it was like filling up my cheeks and I was like oh my God the only thing I can do here is either one, if I move, if I open my lips it's going all over him in his penis and then I was like right so I just had to swallow it and he's like and then he said to me your mouth is so wet

like this is so good and I was like oh my god this guy has fucking no idea so I just finished up and I said I need to go find my friends

and he got out and oh my God worst experience in my life we've got another bit bearing in mind the spew was pure chunky so how he didn't feel that I've got no idea

I give myself the fear if you don't laugh fuck Honestly. Cabab dick. She's a cabb dick. She, imagine if he'd like actually done his business in her mouth as well and she swallowed kebab and spunkers.

Met a guy on Grindr who I had kind of thought had a boyfriend. But it's the gay world, so fuck it, anything goes. I arrived at his house and was about to chat the door. When he texts me saying, I'm in my neighbours. I was like, um, okay. He said he's away on holiday. took the dog so I was thinking what the fuck are we going to shag on your neighbour's bed but okay

obliged to go to the neighbour's gaff where he then gets a phone call from the boyfriend saying he's just seen me on the fucking ring doorbell I wanted the ground to swallow me on me. Me and my friend went out uptown and got chatting to a big group of guys

who were on a staggedo from Wales such nice guys buying his drinks all night we both got closer to two guys got chatting and found out guy I was chatting to was a porn star so you can imagine all the questions we were asking the pub was shutting and we thought fuck it we're both single let's invite them back to the flat have a drink and see where the night takes us after loads of drinks we all know what was going to happen we slept together and I made a joke saying show me some of your moves and whack I got a slap straight across the face with the dick no I think

maybe with his hand oh we then went to sleep and at six in the morning his phone starts to buzz like mad he then jumps up and says i need to go i didn't tell you but i've got a girlfriend so you can imagine the rage after he said he was single to me when we first met i was standing but naked screaming at him to get out the flat and picked up his stuff and launched it out the flat door i then go wake up my friend and the guy she's with to tell her and told his friend to leave little did we know he also had a girlfriend we only found out he did after we hunted them down on facebook after they both leave i noticed a message request my into dm's it was the girlfriend She had stalked his followers

And so he had followed someone new So of course I told her everything And how sorry I was I'd be cheating on before And didn't wish it upon everyone Long story short Don't sleep with a porn star As he was as shit as shag I've ever had

And never trust a word they say Oh my God She also has sheered his TikTok Has she! Let me see Let me see So we can out him if we want When was this? When did she say From the...

Oh! Is he gay? No, he's that girlfriend? I need to know if the slap across the face was with the hand or a dick. Wow. Oh yeah, there's the girlfriend. So this was only my second ever sexual encounter. The guy I was dating at the time was significantly older than me.

I was on my period and looking back, he was obviously either a concerning horny devil or some sort of cannibal freak. This guy wanted to have period sex, which I'm just not into, especially when on a heavy flow, if you know, you know. No. After swiftly declining the offer, he then suggested to go down.

me to which you can imagine my horrified reaction as surely nobody offers this after being declined sex. However, somehow after 10 minutes of begging and him stating that he actually enjoys doing it yuck, and that it'll be fine with a tibble down I finally gave in. It lasted all of

20 seconds before enough was enough and all I could think about was the blood that was leaving my body. I jumped up and turned the light on to see to see all I can compare to is a massacre. Blood on the bed sheets. Blood all in his face hair and even worse under these fingernails. No. I draw the line.

I draw the line. He had the audacity to try and kiss me after to console a horrified me. Safe to say I was mortified and now scarred for life. Not sure about you but sex is best kept for non-time of the month. Watch your thoughts on sex on time of the month. It's a no for me.

No for me. Absolutely not. That's about five days out of the month. Surely you don't need of sex any days. Richard's also very anti that as well. I know some guys have a bit of a weird kink. But no. But also, I just feel like shit when I'm on my period. Like...

I'm horny as hell. I am. So it's terrible. That is meant to be a thing, is it not? Bad timing. Really bad timing. I was giving my ex-boyfriend a blowjob. This was actually years ago,

and my face is bright red even thinking about it. Anyways, it's getting to the crucial moment. And just as he's about to come, I start having to fight the urge to sleep. I tried to hold it in and keep going, but this was, for this one, in hindsight, a huge error. Anyway, he comes and I sneeze at the exact same time. And what fell like a guillon of cums of cums shot out my nose. Bernie a sensation error and I've since found out that.

people do this intentionally and it's called the white dragon that is fucking brilliant oh thank you for that oh my lordy lord oh my god back in the good old house party days drinking cheap vodka and not a care in the world chaty to a boy lay to kissing with boy and ended the night once others had left having the quickest, quickie on the couch. As he moved off, he pulled off the condom and threw it on the floor, only for me to see

over his shoulder or family dog walk in the room. Two drunk slash hungover to care. I rolled over and had an uncomfy few hours sleep together on the couch, only to be faced the next morning with having to pull, said condom out of the dog's bum in the local park. Just glad my parents were away and it wasn't my dad that had to do it.

So the poor dog ate the fucking condom. Why do dogs eat anything? Why do they just eat anything? But it smells they're attracted to. Not that that helps the situation, but that is why. So I met this boy in Magger a few years ago. Bit of flirting, etc. and then decided we'd go back to his hotel room.

Started getting a bit saucy. Doing the deed, quickly realised this was not going the way I planned. After a shite attempt at fingering, he decided he'd try to. and put his whole fist up me. Got the bloody fright of me. He's apologising, and next thing you know, the bed sheets are covered in blood, absolutely fucking mortified.

I frantically stripped the bed as he apologised and tried to convince me to stay and finish what we started. I literally sprinted home and took the bed sheets off the balcony en route so much fear. So he obviously had a weird kink for fisting. How does that felt? But like,

Obviously, you could get a fist up there. Well, if a baby head comes out. Well, exactly. I suppose then you're sort of dilating, aren't you? No, the same thing. I know, but. It's like, fist, baby's head. Well, I mean, the vagina could stretch that lodge

if you needed it to. Your head bone's also a shift when you're breaking this way. Well, that is true. Oh, well, I mean, it obviously wasn't meant to happen because she was bleeding everywhere. But also, I know this is getting quite technical, right? I can't believe what I'm about to say actually, but fingering. Yes.

The purpose really is to, you know, go quite far in. And that's how it becomes enjoyable, right? A fist, there's not really a bit that a fist doesn't really get in that bit. Do you know what I mean? It must just be like we say a weird kick. Maybe they go a bit further and get the arm up there. Up to the elbow. And then what's your own?

You're in. yeah maybe it's in not that's what people do it in and then they expand spirit fungus that's giving me that absolute fear no so I was back at my

now husband's mum and dad's house at 4am we got at it in these utility cupboard area which attached his kitchen so open the cupboard doors to the doorway between the kitchen and utility was blocked off because it's all open plan

anyways I was bent over only had my top half of clothing on basically doubled in half and got banged that hard I basically done a 180 flip upside down into the mop bucket and brushes in the cupboard. I was upside down stuck with my legs in the air, flour hanging out and balanced on one shoulder

when the next thing I heard was his dad run in the kitchen thinking someone had broke in. My boyfriend tells his dad we were just cooking and he dropped the bag of chicken gougon's which was what the loud bang was. This is all whilst I'm upside down half naked shut on the utility cupboard. Anyways, got picked

up and put to bed along with the chicken gujohns that we did end up making. And when I went down to breakfast the next morning, my granny pants were lying on the kitchen table, neatly folded. And his mum said, I think you dropped something on the way in last night. No. To which his dad replied, I, along with the chicken gujon. No. No eye contact was made for at least a few weeks and mortified.

We've never ever repeated this type of behaviour since. To us still together. Love that. sex story lull but have a small cleaning business and have a few stories one that comes to mind i was polishing in one of my customers bedrooms not a customer anymore ha ha ha and just casually sitting on his bedside cabinet was his flesh light basically a rubber fanny for him to pump pubes and everything couldn't look him in the eye again certainly don't get paid enough to polish that polish that bad boy a fake fanny me pubes that is disgust why would you want pubes on it surely if you can

chose to have what they might think of like a fresh fanny all the time you would want it put pubules. Went over to the guy I was seeing's house for some dinner. After dinner, things were getting heated, as they do until he decided to fully teabagg me. Again, I'm not fully not. I'm fully not into this, so during my time of balsification,

I soon realised this was not going to work out, nor progress any further. He tried to move to bedroom to which I replied, what's the time? I'm just going to boost. Safe to say, I've never seen said guy again. He comes up on my Tinder all the time, and every time I see his face,

I can't help but think about his tiscos being loved in my face. Fell out of bed whilst my legs were wrapped around my boyfriend's neck. Knee, myself, and the eye, with his whole body waiting top of me. Boyfriend went to the hotel reception for an ice pack at 3 a.m. When it occurred, and they asked why. He panicked thinking he'd think he'd barred me and said he'd hurt his knee. Faked a limp till we checked out the next day, had a huge black eye for two weeks,

and had to openly admit to many people I had. a mad shag in accident so they don't think I was a part-time street scrapper. So about the third time sleeping with my Nile boyfriend, both steaming. I go down but still have my chewing gum in my mouth, which fell out and I didn't realize. So we finished the deed. He gets up and goes, I think there is something in my ass off. And I'm like, shut up, how could there be? He starts walking to the bathroom and comes back and goes, nah, there's death row is.

So I put my torch on my phone and look And what's smushed in between his cheeks Is my chewing gum I had to give him a fresh razor And he had to shave to get it all off Because he was stuck to his hair We still absolutely piss ourselves To this day and I'm no longer allowed to chew gum

P.S. Love the Pod Thank you You know it's funny We didn't through some of these stories right So many of the girls are saying Like we're now married or We've been together for 10 years since. So any really bad, embarrassing sex stories, you know,

they're not always bad. People are probably just staying together because they don't ever want to, like... And you want to find out what happened. Yeah, they don't want to leave the person in case they fucking tell everyone. This one's funny. When me and my now husband first started going out,

we were texting one day and he asked me to send him a Belfy. Sorry, I was very young and innocent, and since he sent me this at 7 a.m. in the morning, I assumed Belfy meant breakfast selfie, so I sent him a picture of my cereal bowl instead of my ass. Sorry Sorry I never realised

Belfi meant that either To be fair Say that whole thing again So I was very young and innocent And since he sent He sent me this text Asking for a Belfy

At a 7am I assumed Belfy meant Breakfast selfie So I sent him a picture With my cereal bowl People wanted a picture of her ass What so does it mean Bum selfie

It must be yeah What a fucking weird thing I ask. It's so weird. Belfy. I stayed over with my boyfriend a Sunday night after she's been out with his pals all weekend. He still lives with his mum and on the Monday morning I got up early to go to work.

Later that same day he texts me all horned up saying thanks for leaving your pants behind. I've been sniffing them all day. I'm shocked by this in this type of chat as was totally out of character for him slash us. I'm a bit mortified by the whole situation. Later on I'm emptying my overnight bag to find my underwear from the day before. said bag.

Was he sniffing? So who the fuck snickers has he got in his room? I text him raging because clearly he's taking a girl back to his moz and fucking cheated on me. This was evidence. Anyway, he proceeds to deny all allegations and tell him he's been a complete mix-up and in actual fact the pants

belonged to his mother and they'd got mixed up in the wash piles. For a second I believed the story until I remembered he'd been texting these pants all fucking afternoon. Safe to say that's not the only lie he'd ever told me. So wait.

So you would rather say you were sniffing your ma's pants than except you've cheated on someone. Right, so he was cheating on her and sniffing someone else's neck is, I thought he was sniffing, actually was sniffing his mum's news pants. Either way. I think he was cheating, but like, see at that point, own up to the cheating, don't say you're sniffing your

mum's fucking shite pants, you know what I mean? That is, yeah, that is so. bad. I would actually rather get told yeah, okay, I was cheating on you then I'm sniffing my mum's pants. Yeah, one million percent. That's freaking me out. My ex-used to like getting a bit kinky with bondage. We split but decided to keep meeting up as a friend

with benefits. Do not recommend. But anyways, one time in the dark of his room, he went to get a tie out of the wardrobe, standard. I'm standing at the head of the bed, get my wrist tied together. The doggy starts, but I can feel my legs slipping as he pulls me up by the tie around my wrists.

All this flashing start. and jingle bells blaring I get dropped head first into the bed both of his pissing ourselves as he'd used his Christmas tie by accident as it continued to play the tune mortified no what an absolute off put that isn't off fucking jingle bells was being looked out from behind by a friend's bro and farted in his face he got pink eye and friend told us all her bro bro bro He got pink eye and told And friend told us All her bro had an eye infection But it was from my thoughts This same person Snapped a lads banjo

And he had a fucking fit on the bathroom floor Oh I've had a few stories of people doing that To be to lads Oh that's awful Do you not need to get circumstays if that happens. I don't know, do you, Graham? You've been quiet this episode, she actually.

No, wait, I can't believe she farted in his face and gave the whole family pink eye. An ex-boyfriend had a safe in his room, always wondered what was in it, till one night he unlocked it and brought out a big purple dildo, didn't know whether to laugh or cry, used it and then got the absolute

fear and wondered how many other people had used it. Oh, here's another pink eye. with my boyfriend I treated him to a wee blowy one night and the fucker shot he's loaded my eye and gave me fucking big guy imagine that you first holly together you walk around with a manky eye one guy had to pull a condom

out of me after sex because it had fell off and said I feel like a midwife left a film running during the chill part of the evening and the credits rolled to you can do it put you back into Can't carry on from laughing so traumatised when the song comes on. My ex sent me a video of him pegging himself with my bottle of hair serum.

Never hated my frizzy hair more. Switched brands ASAP and became single. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's pegging? I'm assuming shoving up his arshall. Graham? What's pegging? Google it.

I'll need to Google that. What does that mean? Imagine Richard's at home. in your hair. Fucking growth serum up his arsh. Great gorgeous, up his boop. Got a secretary dress

up kit for man Summers to add a little spice. Came with fake glasses. Without glass in the frame. Sit and having a cup of with my mill. What does that mean? Oh, aye.

Mother-in-law and my toddler came in wearing the glasses and a suspender belt round his head because it was in the big house. But I think that's it. I think we've actually gone through them all.

I think that should just be like an ongoing subject we have. What? Just embarrassing sex stories. Yep. Just turn around in a sex podcast. Yeah. I couldn't cope with it being every week. No, I can't.

But that was absolutely funny as fuck. Thank you so much for that. We will continue to do this maybe every few months. Every quarter. Every quarter? Yeah, that's nice. What episode is this now, 18? Yeah.

Guys! How can that's only be 18? I don't understand. No, I mean, how has that 18? It is. But we need a little bit of a break, don't we? Graham's got a big project working on. He's making a humongous gym. And Graham, as he does, decides to not only own a business, be a dad, run multiple other things in between. This podcast decides to build the fucker himself.

So, yeah, it's going to take some time. So Graham, he needs a bit of a break. He needs a bit of a break. He's not actually said that, to be fair, it's us, but we're going to give him a bit of space. Thank you. But he actually said to us, I went, you're going to miss us, Graham? And he went, well, yeah, we didn't really want to go, did he? No.

And then... I think me blatant up your dees. We definitely do. We give him a little bit of freedom from this CrossFit Wanker world. And then we're going on holiday. I'm going to New Yorker on Sunday. I'm going to New York in a couple of weeks. I said that on the podcast yet.

In fact, I've not told anyone, but except you. I'm going to New York. My friend works for Mulberry, so she's getting a transfer for eight weeks. Lucky girl. So I'm going to go and stay with her for four days. I'm looking forward to that. And then you go to, where do you go? Croatia, Dubrovnik.

What date do you go there? Not until we're finished. What date is that? End of July. End of July. Yeah. Yeah, so we're back with a bang. We can't wait.

We'll be chilling all that time and then that's us right back to it. Season three, here we go. We won't be gone long, don't worry, just like last time. But yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed that episode because we love doing that so much. People are just severely saucy. they are as what have you like I still like

we're all friends now aren't me and we're all comfortable one another so if you actually think about the very first episode we did which was actually

nearly a year ago and our birthday I think is in July isn't our end of July yeah end of July so that would be our first birthday but it's not that I was really afraid to be my true self

because that's not the case but we've really loosened up yeah especially I would say I say this to Graham all the time Graham knows more about me than anyone and there's a lot of stuff that gets cut out

as well. That is true. And for me... We should release that as a special episode to end the season. Yeah, to keep you going in between the seasons. Well, everything's been cut out. Oh, God, would be cancelled.

Yeah, I would be cancelled. And dumped. Cancelled and dumped. Jobless. Yes. Not great, but yeah, we're going to miss you. But we've got two episodes left. We're so excited.

And we will see you next Tuesday. Way. Bye, guys. Bye!