A Lot On Your Plate - S2 Ep19: Eye Sex, Tunnels & Beige Flags

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

This week on ALOYP we hear all about Jess' recent holiday to Mallorca, chat through some things we're loving and more!- - - - - - - - -Follow us on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@alotonyourplatepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Your HostsJess (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@JustJessFood⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)Zoe (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@ZoeQuinnnn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)Produced ByCobalt Media (@cobaltmediauk)For Business Enquiries - [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday, everyone, and welcome back to a lot on your plate podcast. We have an audience today, just a small one, but we have some friends with us. Three people. Three people. What did I say? An audience. So we've got Heather. We speak about Heather quite a lot.

We've got Haley and we've got our friendship because we came unprepared for today's pod. we didn't really have anything to talk about and we had nothing to spit or swallow and we were downstairs in the gym and Heather goes, I know and I think they all three of them saw it as like a little bit of a challenge so they've gone off.

They've gone off and they've come back upstairs to join us with three plates so we're going to eat them now with you and Heather's convinced that we're going to love this one that's right in front of us G said no which has what? Toast and cheese with jam strawberry or raspberry jam

Strawberry. Oh really? So... What kind of cheese? Looks like a bed lester. Right, that's just picky, to be honest. Oh, it smells nice and it's still warm. So just to reiterate it is a toast with some sort of melted cheese and strawberry jam.

I think that's gorgeous. Mm-hmm. I would actually choose to eat that. It's like cheese in chutney though, isn't it? Same thing. I'm having a great time. This is stunning. Go on.

Do you try a bit? No. Why not? I wouldn't eat cheese and toast, never mind jam on top it. Oh God. You wouldn't eat cheek, what? I'm just going to eat the whole thing. This is going to sound well nice in the mic.

Right, next one. No, I'm sure this one, you need to caution out of this one. Oh, this is real spittle swallow. We haven't done this in ages. I think you've found you gravy granules. I'm a slice. Oh, I'm at two there. She's took it into this.

Okay Have you got to be drinking or something? Oh no, what is it? I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm talking about it. Have we got to guess what it is? Okay. Are you putting it in our mouth? Debbie, the sex episode was last week.

Hope you all enjoyed that, by the way. Gee, don't overreact. It's not the time. It's not the time on the place. Why are you walking back so slowly? It's really concerning. I need this to be over and done with. Give your hand.

Oh fuck. It's one of a wee like cocktail sticks or... Oh God, what is this? Right, go on. What the fuck is it? It's the mushroom in it? Oh! Put it on my favourite!

You're not evil! It's not just any mushroom though, it's a tinned bush. Oh! I felt that on my tongue! that on my tongue. My hand's all sweating. I'm clammy as well. That is right.

Bitches. That's actually nasty. That's mean. Did you chew that, Zoe? Yes, I chewed. No, I just felt the texture on the tongue and it was straight out. But I'm so glad you said,

someone said something, whoever it was. Oh, right, next. No, that's it. That's the tin. That's what I was just to show you the tent. Oh, I see. Okay, okay. I thought we're going to have a little,

well. Yeah, well, I'm finishing my toast. Say bye to the pod, girlies. Bye. Have a happy Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. I'm finishing my toast. Bye. Zoe's absolutely loving this toast.

If you want to eat that one as well, you can. So, anyway, hi guys. We just had a little bit of, you know, a few friends just join in there. But that was fun. Happy Tuesday. I hope you're all good and I hope you enjoyed last week's episode.

We're on episode 18. 19 and I can't speak from Toronto. Do you remember season one when I said to you, it is the, what was that word that I kept making you say? Penultimate. Say it again. Penultimate. Penultimate episode.

It's that again. Second last. And it's our birthday in a month's time. Different vibes this time because it was like Christmas last time, one of. Yes, it was. We had our big Christmas competition. What should we talk about today? I sat down and I said,

Stop to eat it so I can speak now. So he says, I've got nothing to talk about. I says, well, I've got a lot to talk about. No, well, I want to hear all about your holiday. I've not asked you any questions about it. Yeah, okay, so came back from New Yorker last night. And me and Zoe haven't hardly spoken because none of you will probably be surprised to hear,

but I ended up deleting WhatsApp. Best thing ever did. I ended up deleting TikTok. I deleted my email app. I deleted my personal and my cat Instagram page. Did you get rid of the pod one? I did, but I logged back in it yesterday because I thought, I actually don't know the password for that.

That's what I thought, and I don't know either. No, I've kind of vaguely remembered that I think I made the page initially, so there's only going to be one word for that past word. I did also have the same thoughts, to be honest, which no one would ever guess because it's the most fucking random hangover. I really wish we could say our password names, but I'm sure everyone listened to this has that one weird word that you have as a password as a kid, it just always stays.

and then some random numbers next to it. I'd now have to put like an exclamation mark who's running it somewhere because now passwords require some weird letter or whatever. And if you ever forget it, you can't use the same one again, so then you're having to do a different variation. Quite stressful.

So, yeah. Anyway, I end up getting back into it. Anyway, shut off from the world. Shut up from the world. I had I message, so we spoke a little bit. And I can't honestly recommend it enough. I felt like I'm not really that type of person. I don't know why I all of a sudden hate WhatsApp

this past, like, a couple of years but I find it really overwhelming but I just thought I'm going to go away and I'm going to really relax and be present and I was although obviously I take pictures and stuff and that's what I enjoy doing that and I post it on my Instagram but I limited myself to an hour a day on just Jess so I could do updates of my yorka and yeah I've really enjoyed myself very much the weather was shit at the start but it ended up getting better ignore the weather like half half good weather then I would say three quarters good weather oh well that's good There was a storm like a couple of hours a day, some days,

but it was beautiful. And I stayed in the bikini hotel the whole time as well. The one thing I will say about that hotel is I love it so, so much, but fuck me, the pillows and the quilts are not it. Not it. Is it a sheet or is it a quilt? No, it's a quilt, but it's a single quilt each on a double bed. So they wrap it around.

I need to have a double quilt. I like to be in the quilt with Richard, even though I can't bear him touching me in the night because he twitches, but I just like knowing that he's there. No, I've had that before as well, and it's a strange experience. And the pillows are like the paper pillows

you get on an airplane, but bigger. I don't know if it's because it's a real eco-friendly hotel, but it's not cute. So I was grumpy bitch for half of it when I woke up in the morning. I was trying to think of my best days. Obviously, I've spoke all about this on my Instagram, so if you've missed it, go on check out my highlights.

but I saw lots of beautiful sunsets, drove up to Forementa, that was amazing. Really nice drive, beautiful sunset. The boat day was brilliant. We got a bit of a bigger boat this year because we had Jill and Andy joiners. And basically we had the boat 10 to 6, and then the captain said to us

he was really nice guy from L.A. actually. He was apparently best friends with Katie Perry. You know, it's one of them ways. Like, do you believe him or not? But I don't know, I do believe him. I don't really know that she's so many both of it. so I believe him. Yeah.

She's not that great, is she? Yeah, she can't lost it, I feel. Is she? She's like an aluminum eye. Yes, apparently she, isn't she? Anyway, maybe he was. He said, oh, by the way, guys, my sunset cruise have cancelled.

Richard was like a five-year-old kid. He had two beers by 11 o'clock. The guy was jumping over every chance of the boat you could possibly get. And he kept saying to me, every chance, I just don't know, the time's going too fast. And I was like, relax. Like, Richard's a completely different person

when he's drunk like completely different he's a walking ick and he was like he is and he was like the time's going so fast i was like babe just relax we're enjoying it's literally two o'clock he's like yeah we have to be off in four hours and anyway this tailor guy came over and guys if you want to stay on we can stay on for the sunset if you want i've got to pay him a bit extra he was ecstatic jumping about the boat leaping everywhere i'm so buzzing i listened back to the videos today because we're all so drunk i couldn't you know when you get the fear bit of four. Well, nobody had posted anything and I wasn't surprised because

Jellie Kina goes off her phone a bit in holiday as well which is obviously great but I thought we were just, the silence was a bit deafening. Was it? Because there was nothing in the chat either. I wasn't in the chat though. No I know but I just you know that way just when two your pals together

there's usually a wee picture in the church, there's usually that me something something and it was just nada. Oh we've got a lot. We've got so many and I think I'm a bit overwhelmed by it so I ended up looking through the videos this morning And I was like, in every single in the background, all you can hear is Richard singing, dancing, he's shouting how much he loves me or the captain.

The guy's off his nut. So, yeah, we had an amate, that was probably my favourite day. But the next, yesterday, which seems weird, we were hot, we were dying of a hangover. So we woke up, Richard was not sick, but he had a bad stomach. And then we ended up going to Palmer. So I was like, well, what can we do?

It was so hot. That was probably a bad decision. What came was your fight? Not till, um, Half five, I think, yeah, half five. So, walk around Palmer, dying. And then I just hit a brick wall. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to be spew everywhere.

I never did, thank God, but, you know, when you're in that way. That happens to you. Because I'm fine in the morning. I was jumping about, packing my case. I was like, yeah, I'm fine. And that hit me hard. And then we were both just dead. We came home last night and we watched a great film.

I think I've said that in the chat. The, oh, gee, you would love it. It's called the, how do you say that word? Covenant. How did you say it? Covenant. Covenant. Yeah, the Covenant.

Have you seen it, do you? No, I've seen it on advertised on Amazon. It's Amazon, yeah. The Covenant, and it's a Guy Ritchie film. And Richard said, oh, I'm about to start this film. And I said, oh, was it that film that I've seen on people writing on Instagram? It's like, yeah, it's brilliant. Really recommend it.

You should watch it. Okay, good, because I have nothing to watch and it drives me insane. Yeah, really, really good. Who's like the actor in it? Jake Ginds with G Gillen Hall Yeah that's it

He's the main guy He's really good in it Yeah he's really good in it He's a really good actor I think It's a true story just about The US troops that went over to Afghanistan After 9-11 And they were there for like 20 years

But it was about the People that were like They interpreted between the US Army And the Afghanistan So they were Like the US hired 50,000 of them of Afghans to obviously be like translators if you like and then it's just basically about the one relationship

between one main guy and another and it's really good I won't give you any more details but it's true story that can be a wee weekend watch you know I have to watch it with subtitles though because some of those sort of films where I'm not really into like war or things I have to really like

concentrate I watch everything with subtitles now same it's better though don't you think it's so much better because I know you're reading the subtitles right but you can see the bad background, visual and read at the same time. I just absorb it way easier. They're the best.

See when there's like a new show and there's like people's names and stuff, you catch everything so much quicker. Do you do subtitles as well? Only if I'm watching myself. I'm not allowed when Jen is watching. Oh really? It used to be a thing that annoyed me as well,

but years ago, whereas I've watched them for years now. Yeah, watched with them for years now. Richard doesn't mind doing them now either. I honestly think it's way easy to watch film with them. She's taking everything. Agree. You follow the story much better. I need to remove that cheese and jam because you want to eat it.

No, because it's made me feel slightly weird. Oh, okay. But it's just sitting on the table with like no plate or anything there. And I can just see it and I know it's also on the video. Just like in the floor next to when you spilled that drink last week. There's another thing that I watched on the plane, which you watch as well, the inside man. I love that. Really good.

The ending though. I know we can't say what it is, but that must mean there's going to be another one. It's got to be. I don't know. I've got answers. I need answers, sorry. I've got questions. I don't know. I see that as a one-off, but then the ending could be another one. Well, it had to be. Does it never explain why he killed his wife? And the main woman, she's there. Why is she there? She's there for a reason. She's asking him a question. Do you don't remember that bit?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, right, okay. Yeah? The trap's women. Yes. Okay, I'm with you. a question about a certain someone. You're like, well, where's that come from? So then it's all linked.

Yes. And that's what makes you think. So yeah, I watched that. I also read, finished Verity. I know you don't really like reading books, but Verity is a brilliant book by that Colleen Hoover, the one that I refuse to read the other two books because everyone raves about them,

but Julie put me off saying they were written like a five-year-old. So now I'm like, well, I can't read that now because that'll be in my head. Verity love it. The Way Body Cream. Oh yes, I smelled this before you were going. So you did. Amazing.

Body wash, body cream. I said in the travel podcast, I'm very particular about my sense and that now reminds me of my holiday. I also do think a good body cream in holiday as you feel good with that one. Yeah. When you're going out at night?

Use that tan looks glow, oil as well on my legs at night. Did you like it? Loved it. You don't need a lot of it either. No, it goes a long way. Yeah. It's a nice application as well.

Because it's expensive, but one pump would genuinely do your whole arm. Yep, a wee shimmer. Yep, I like that. I also, before I went away, I was using retinal, told you what, from Fiona that Fiona gave me and Zoe some of the Zio retinal.

And I am not joking. Have you started it using it yet? No, I'm terrified. Zoe, I was but ugly for like two weeks. I know now you're going to convince me that you like it? Yes and no. What I'm going to say to you was, I started then shedding, coming out in a few spots,

and I just felt like I looked so ugly. I was like, what the fuck? And I've heard about the retinal uglies and I was like, no, I am ugly. And then I went on a holiday and then obviously I had to stop a few days before because you can't use that in the sun. And then use my SPF 50

and then I started to get a bit of a tan. Now my skin then started to shed slightly. And then it's clear again now. But all the dark marks and everything had gone. And I was like, maybe you do have to go for that two-week phase of being but ugly. I just don't know if I have got to end. Not now. Not in the summer. I'm a bit fragile at the moment. So I'm not having two weeks

of ugliness. So I think you need to wait until winter. I've got a bob of a haircut and I have a haircut. So I can't do the uglies at the moment. So your hair looks really nice. Put it around the front. It's not it isn't that short but it's a lot shorter than what it was when you had. Surely not. What you don't reckon you don't, you don't. I haven't class that it's short. No, but long. It's short compared to what it was. Yeah, your hair was down of your bum. I was nearly sitting on it and I did look like and I probably will offend people but watch new right

I did look like I'm 13 and I'm going to the first year at high school and I'm not being allowed to ever get highlights so I just put lemon juice in my hair when I'm in holiday and I'm only allowed to get a trim every three months so that's what I look like from the back and very specific and I missed the key part I've got six horses and two ponies at the back

that is actually what I looked like from the back you didn't but now you said it I can't unsee it it was just a bit too O Natural and too long whereas I've got the O Natural short now but what I'm going to do is get a few highlights before my holiday you see yeah that would be nice for the summer

but a sun kissed yep so anyway I'm not ready for the ugly's wash then so there's a few things I noted down in my notes when I was away to speak about that I find we know how we spoke about things that annoy you that shouldn't

and one of them is your boyfriend or anyone asking you to put sun cream on the back I fucking can't stand it it's like I want you to put it on mine but don't say straight away so can you do me

like don't it's annoying you know what I'm just comfortable and then he plunks his ass on muscle lounger you know his back's facing and he's like right shove it I'm like I don't want to do that I don't want to sit up

it is about it as well because people say like oh well you're at it yeah no but I wasn't at it with you I was at it with me yeah you've got an absolute cheek all the time she's put a fake hand on you well barely yeah I was afraid you's doing that on the back actually I get attitude every time for that so

yeah rightly so good for Jason but you know what it is who thinks I've not got what the extendable arms and you've got a dirty hand and a big you've got a mat on your hand but then the motherfuckers have the cheats go and jump in the pool and do that little thing that they want to show off about

And then they jump back out and they go, oh, can you cream my back? No! You literally just put it on 10 minutes ago. And do you know what else? It's the pressure of any sort of redness comes. You must have not put that on properly. No, you're just Scottish.

And then he's got like a little wart on his head and I was like putting the 5th Factor 50 on the water and I was like, and he was like, you're making me self-conscious. I'm like, well, you're the one with the water on your head, mate, not me. If you want me to cream you, how cream you properly. No, listen. He gets ripped apart on this, it's a shame. Gee, have you.

have you noticed Richard's hair's looking thick two seas thick he's been using rosemary oil now for two months I said do this it's seen it on TikTok

he's been putting rosemary oil in his hair every single night and I shit you not I cannot wait to show him before and after because it is so different and even his hairdresser went your hair is actually thicker and I'm like oh my god

this stuff actually works because I'm obviously not like bold enough to really see the difference with rosemary. I like doing it in my scalp and I can definitely tell my hair condition feels better. But to do it on someone's hair that is thinning and bolding,

it is miraculous. Wow. And I'm going to show you the difference. And even he says when he puts a gel through his hair, he's like, wow. So if any of the girl who listens to this podcast or guys are going a bit bold, get that rosemary oil with,

I think it's got peppermint in it. You can get it from just Amazon, can you not? Yep. And he does it every night without fail. gets a little head massager does his little scalp Oh don't, that's a sin Yes, gee, he does, I'm additional the secrets

But it's getting better And he's actually making him feel a bit better about it as well I love that The thing is, from the front you wouldn't know No, it's when he bends down It's only when you can see above his head Which most people won't be able to So that's fine

Apart from obviously everyone Who's watched him on the pitching On the screen for 20 years That's a shame And when it gets wet, it's a little bit more But the problem is he looks nice He looks nice with his blonde hair And it's a shame

and I He looked so gorgeous on holiday I'm glad that it's maybe going to prolong the the hair experience and then the next thing that I noticed that I wanted to discuss was an awkward thing happened right

where we were coming back from what was I coming back home going through the passport control anyway and it was the Spanish side and you know when you do that walk and it's your turn to walk to the passport office to get checked and they stare at you in the eye

as you're walking. But you then feel so weird because you know you have to stare at them to show your face so they can look at your passport. And you've literally convinced yourself that you've killed five people and you've got a hundred gram of cocaine in your bedroom. Yes. And then you look down but they're still looking at you and you sort of look up but then you go all sheepish

but this guy would not stop staring at me. I was convinced he was fucking me with his eyes right? Because I felt so uncomfortable that then I started looking up and I started to smirk. We were just smacking at one another. Richard was behind me.

And I was like, oh my God, why is his stare lasting so long? I don't dare look down now because he's staring at me. No. Maybe is he staring at me because he's staring at me because he's working at if I look like my passport pick. And as I walked to I went, Richard, that was well awkward. He went, you were there for a while. I went, he was really staring at me into my soul.

He went. He didn't look at me once. I thank you fancied you. But that's reminded me, though, of all the times where I do walk, I'm like that when I walk out of a shop as well when the bleepers I feel like I've stole something in the shop

and I'm like, I freeze up I tense up and I'm like fuck almost a bit bleeps because I'm not saw anything but I feel like the same in that passport situation It is the airport makes you feel a lot of ways

like you can convince yourself that you've done a million things and you've not I get, it beeps every time I walk through the security and I need to stand in that machine with my arms and my legs wide open

not you know you know what I mean and I just think every time like someone's planted something in my pocket or maybe I've just got like a metal bone and no one's told me because it happens to me every single time without fail why is that?

I don't know but I do think you do get a bit shaken up when I left Presswick as well yesterday there was two policemen waiting outside of the airport and I thought they're there for me they're there for me and obviously they stare at you and you walk by and I'm like do they think I've smuggled drugs

why do you get like that? Probably checking you're fucking alive because you went dead to the world for a week. Zoe's got the search party out. I've sent them to make sure you're there. So yeah, I find that really strange. Anything else you've been watching? Lovan has started yesterday.

We know we weren't going to speak about it, don't you worry. Who can't start the game? Because we hit the winter one, you see, now we've got the summer one. It's doing the same year. Yeah, don't you think it's quite tight this one? It's quite close together. Yeah, it does seem really close together.

The only reason I'm happy is because, as I said earlier, I don't have anything I'm watching right now and it pains me every night to try and find something so I'm like a wee hour 9 to 10. Kill the time. That's that sorted. And I felt like last season it became quite a big thing because my jammer came on board. That was a really

big thing to change. She can have made it a thing again, didn't she? It didn't feel like it was in South Africa, it did feel like it was in Spain but it usually is. The only thing to talk about did you catch up? No, I've not watched it. I forgot. Well, what was quite good was the public voted

for the couples this time. Oh. You know at the start, they usually pick each other and it's typical. The public did it this time, which was a bit different, and when the guy

coupled up with the Scottish girl, or vice versa, I can't remember. They introduced each other to each other, obviously, and the girl was like, we've met before. Awkward. And he was like, have we? She was like, yeah, we'll speak about it later.

No. And he still couldn't remember, which is awkward. Richard did a trespass shoot with her. all right they did a modelling thing together and I was like oh did you now was she the one that was your wife all over the campaign around Trespah and he was like no

wasn't her I was going to say she a bit young yeah no no they were just like four of them on my campaign one time yeah yeah me models in that but anyway it's just something to watch and I don't imagine like I won't lose sleepless I won't have sleepless nights if I miss an episode do you know what I'm yeah I might

watch it I think I will watch it I don't ever miss it I think it's like you say it's something to watch every night. I do quite like that the chat pops off when it's on, not that Molly isn't speaking in at 24 hours a day anyway. But I do quite like when everyone's watching something, there's like a running commentary going on. And everyone sends in like, oh my God, oh my God. Yes.

Hundreds of faces and all that. Quite enjoy that part. Next little topic. I had a random thought when I was on holiday, and I don't know if we've discussed this before, but I'm hoping G. Love it when he popped around that screen like, fuck. I was hoping you could help

with your construction background did we ever discuss tunnels no we discussed bridges we just discussed how things stay up and in that's right the build that they've been built in but

like ceilings and floors and stuff like levels that's right so when I was at the port there's a really really long tunnel to get to it goes through the mountains that doesn't really baffle me that much because I could probably somehow, in my wild brain, work out how they built a tunnel under a mountain.

How the fuck do you build a tunnel underwater? How is the Euro tunnel built that goes from London to France? How do you build something underwater without the water going within it? How do you stop it? Do you build like a dam? I need to know. A best guess would be if it's in the water but on top of the seabed, I think they just sink it and it's full of water

and they join it all up when it's full of water and then drain the water out of it. That euro tunnel star thing. I don't think I could ever. Really, I'd be on it, it's all right? I like the ease of it. I like the concept and everything right,

but I need it to not be underwater. Like, I just know, I would need to go on that with no one speaking about it and I would need to be forgetting what I'm about to do. Whereas if I went in, it's like when I go on a plane

and I realize I can't have fresh year for however long I'm on that plane. It's even worse because I'm on. underwater. Mm-hmm. Like, it's the claustophobia. Oh, my God. Does it feel like that?

Is there windows? Are you looking out to the... There is windows, yeah. And are you looking out to... No, it's dark. It's a tunnel. It's just... You're very aware.

But you know what? You're not in the tunnel the whole time. So you would leave London and you go out for a good... I would say, I can't remember because it was a years ago, but I think it's a good 20 minute, half an hour out.

Normal train experience. And then all of a sudden it just goes dark for a good... But not that long, actually. It's even were you on it, like is that just a passenger yeah if you drive in it's even worse because you drive into basically like a it feels like an underground car park and you drive in and it's all like kind of all the cars and buses not pressed in but you're allowed to get out your car but there's nowhere to really go

so you're just like in the train and all the cars are stacked in and you're like to walk about the cars and stuff whilst the whole thing's moving it's weird I just I really don't think I could ever go on that even driving on a ferry and parking makes me feel claustrophic yeah and I can get on at the top of the maybe and jump off if I want. But I do love how quick and easy people say it is. Have you seen the new trains? There's London, that thing they're building. The high-speed rail, HS2 they're calling it.

That's going from, like, Reading? London to Birmingham first, I think. But most of that's underground. Most of it's a tunnel. No way. But it's like the fastest train in Europe sort of thing. That's brilliant. It's pretty cool.

Because you can get from Leicester where I live to St. Panker's in 55 minutes overground. I think they're saying it's going to be like, 25 minutes from London to Birmingham or something That's amazing I mean they do need to up the train speed Yeah they do Why is it now went from four hours to get to London

To back to like five and a half six hours Why is that? I was going to ask somebody about this other day I've noticed that as well When I go to book a train It's no longer four anymore And quite often they put a change in Yeah

Is it just really Probably train strikes though Train strikes haven't got to staff Fair Fox Do you know what I'm? Anyway, apart from that, I think that's all we've really got to talk about. I'm going for a really nice massage tomorrow. I'm going for one of those lymphatic drainage massages.

I was talking about that in work today, actually. Amy got one, my friend, Amy, and it looked great, the before and after. He talked about the before and after ones. Did she go to charisma? At the belly area. Yeah, I bet she did, yeah. I think she might have. And, wow.

The difference? I can't believe that, but there must be a way. that how can you make that stay forever? No, I don't think you can, but I honestly do get so swollen all the time. Like, it's actually madness. And I went there the other week for that E-L-L-M pedicure. It's E-L-I-M, and it's basically like one of those pedicures where they do it for like a facial for your face, but on your feet.

Had like a clay mask, like a peel, ped, and then obviously the shellac, the scrub. Did your feet feel nice after that? Amazing. No dry skin? No, none at all. They take it all off. It's about, you're in there for about an hour and a half. They put hot boots on.

Is it techily? Yes. She kept scraping my foot at one point and I was like, oh, you know, just like, look, should her? And she was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah. And then I booked him for the lymphatic while I was there. And that's tomorrow.

And then my sister comes on Thursday, who was desperate to come on this podcast. I was like, Zara, we can't be speaking Roadman on a podcast for an hour. We can't really not. So she's not coming on But one day we probably should get either our mums on Or our teenage sisters What happened to the boys coming on?

Is that not supposed to happen? We would love the boys to come on the podcast It's whether the boys want to come on the pod. That's the problem. Maybe we'll do it for the big finale. If we can convince them, that would be great. Which would be next week. Richard would definitely come on.

It would be Jason, you'd be convincing on what day it is. Some days he's like this world is all about me. Like this is my world and you're all just living in it. I would say more often than not, he's in that kind of attitude. Other times, he's very, like, you see a lot about, like, your private life on that podcast. No, she is.

And now everyone, like, knows everything about you. Like, I'm just not into like that. And I'm like, if you had the opportunity to have a podcast, you would tell the world every detail about your life. Don't joke. Like, don't kid me on. You would as well. So we just need to work out a good time to ask.

Maybe we should do a lot, like a Mr and Mrs. That's what I think we should do I think we should get the listeners to write in questions for the boys to ask us Questions about you Yes For them to answer

Should be like what's the worst thing they do What's like the best thing they do Or like Would you don't have a feel day with me though All your red flags Yeah All our icks Richard said his biggest ick

Is me saying the word ick If I said to Jason That you gave him an act there Would be so offended He would as well He's that way's like, why would you be with someone to give you? I'm like, I meant one thing. I mean you as a person.

And Rich is the complete opposite where he wouldn't give a flying fuck, what I say. But also, I feel we've committed to this now. I'm in. Shit, we have. One of my favourite things you know on Instagram is, have you seen it, beige flags? Yes, I've seen that. So what does that mean? Like, it's obviously like red flags, like serious.

It's just like, it's basically like X. It's another thing for it. Okay, a beige flag. So like it wouldn't put you off, but it's a bit of a like, oh. Okay. Let's keep a note with that one, you know. When we were on the boat just there, we were talking about Ix, because Jilly's Andy loves this podcast.

He says it's actually brilliant. He listens to it every single week. I was so shook. He was like, no, Jess, like I genuinely love the podcast. And he says to me, I was obsessed with the Ix episode. He goes, I'd never heard of Ix in my entire life. And I went on like a YouTube, like deep dive into Ix afterward. It ended up listening to like several Iq podcasts.

YouTube videos and he was howling he ended up getting on a YouTube video about a guy that did all his icks and his girlfriend and he said to us that his ick for his girlfriend was how she runs upstairs but she does two at a time and I'm like I fucking do that and he was like no you don't Jess I was like yeah I do I only ever go upstairs two at a time

surely it's more of an ick if you're like do do do do do do like me tiny tiny steps like ding ding ding but he's like now he's never even thought about it but now it's just like obsessed with it So we need to try and get people to really dig deep into these icks. I will honestly stand by for something in a shop and they don't have it.

He mentioned that to me. That makes me actually die. He said he cannot fucking believe that you go into a shop, you ask for a shoe size and if they come back and say they haven't got it, you are dying. And he was just dying at that. I don't know what it is. Like it's nobody's fault.

But honestly, it makes me actually want the ground to open into a big massive hole and swallowing me up and never to appear again. No. That doesn't bother me at all. I just don't know. It's like the waiting for them to come back and then see them coming back with nothing in their hands. I'm being like, oh, sorry, we don't have it.

I just feel more sorry for them just waited a good 10 minute of their shift. Find something for you that they ain't got. Oh, as a wee sales assistant, that's a wee sky about the back. Yeah, true. You're grabbing a drink, checking your phone in that 10 minutes. One million per cent. You and knew you didn't have that show before you went back there. That's true.

Actually, when I used to work in River Island, I used to go into the stock room and just, I knew for a fact we had none of that shoe. And I would just chill on my phone like, do, de-de-de-de-de-de. Yeah. Suckers. So we skive.

Yeah. Right, what else I forgot to speak about? But I've not really been doing much since you've been away, Jess, to be honest. Have you not? You enjoyed the sun? No, I heard the weather was gorgeous. I just enjoyed the sun. I just used everyone for their back garden, really.

I went to Jason's mum's one day, played a little Millie. I do. I can't appreciate the babies are cute now. Really? I can't. No, I still don't want a child. but I think she's cute and she doesn't do a lot of crying

although she did cry a wee bit when I had my sunglasses on but she probably just didn't recognise me to know she was splashing around the pool and that so that was cute then another day I went to my dad's for barbecue and I actually had a drink for the first time in four weeks well it's a quite a long time I think I had like three or four vodkas

and then I continued the night at my friend Louise's flat where I had Prosecco Oh. So I had a bit of a kind of... You know when you don't have a hangover, but you do. Like, you just need... You just feel a bit... Fully the next day.

Yeah. Like, you need, like, a water and an apple juice, a bottle of Likaze and, like, a Diet Coke. Uh-huh. You need them all. You need all the fluids. I was quite like that, but I still had a great time. And then went to my mum's for another barbecue on Sunday.

Mm-hmm. That was just Sunday there. Lovely gorgeous day. Because I feel like you were only really away for during the week. Yeah. Like, my week, if you know what I mean? Yeah. So I was just, you know, bashed in the gym, you know me, you know how it goes.

With that, you see results? Do you know what? I'm trusting the process. Well, I've seen some before and after and you definitely have results. But I feel like that's one day and it's different than next. Yeah, that's just life. Yeah, that is life. So I've got just under eight weeks to my holiday, that's still, I feel it's not coming round in time. I feel like I've been saying it's eight weeks away for about ten weeks.

But anyway, I'm quite glad because it means I've still got time. Yeah. I just want myself out. Just feel a bit better, don't you? You want to feel a little bit more confident, don't you? Yeah. I mean, you spend most of the time virtually naked when you think about it. You wouldn't walk around about here with your brown pants on,

so it is a big change each year. Million per cent. Actually, speaking about kids there, when I was on the flight back, there was a child behind me, and she was cute, but fuck me. She cried the whole time, and obviously we both had stinking hangovers. And I was like, no, this. I need to understand, so I know we spoke briefly about like children

and how we both are quite unsure and the pressures of people saying things to you. And I just feel like as I'm getting older, it appeals far less to me to have a child. And I need to understand, will that change? Because I'm 33 in October and I'm like, what the fuck, when will I ever want to have a child?

I think you've maybe been past obviously I've not experienced this yet but I think you've maybe went past that sort of in between stage that people kind of come round to the idea because when we were first getting quite closest friends you weren't against kids

you weren't no so I think we've not still by the way can I know but you were quite like yeah I'll definitely kids yeah whereas I think we haven't passed that maybe like kind of 20, 29 stage. And now that it's not happened because obviously you've not tried for it to happen.

We're now at like, oh fuck it, I'm enjoying my life. I think there's a kind of key stage in between those. There is. You're so right. That people just go for it and accept that's her life now whereas you've just went past that and you don't want to waste your life. And you know, I'd probably feel different as well. And I know it's important to say that I'd probably feel different if I was single. and we're actually going to potentially get one of my friends on the podcast in season three

I won't say her name yet but she can speak about it when she comes on but she just recently had her eggs frozen and she wants to come on and speak about it because she thinks it's important that as women we can discuss these options or she can just talk about how she's been feeling she is single and she does want children in fact she's pretty desperate to have children but she's going through the process now of egg freezing so if anyone else is going through that process she can talk all the way through it but she told me to buy this test and I did, which is quite interesting if I say what I'm doing, because then I can talk about it next season.

But I bought a test called Hurtility. I don't know if you've seen it on Instagram. They've got a lot of ads at the moment. But it's basically like thinking like a food allergy test. But it's not just about showing your egg count, but it's also showing things like your hormone imbalances as well. So if anyone's worried about if your hormones are in balance, let's say you've noticed like you're probably putting on excessive amounts of weight

or your skin's really bad, all sorts of things that your hormones could do. your mood must be, could be tragic, you're tired. So I have taken that decision to buy this test. It might not be that great, but I've bought it so we can, we can see what the results are. I need to do it tomorrow. Yeah. But I think in season three, it would be good to get my friend on.

Or anyone else that's listened to this, that I've gone through that or want to talk about that, we can do an episode on that, because I think it's quite important. I mean, I really know nothing about it. No. I know it's an option in life, but I don't know any details how it actually works, what it means for you, because, I'm sure on a program I was watching or... I don't know when I saw a snippet of it,

but they were saying like it actually affects your body and your weight and your mood and all that. Which I would just assume they'd get the eggs out and the freeze them and that's it, do you know? Yeah, no, no, no. But it's a process. Oh, it's a real big process, yeah, yeah. Like, it's quite hard on the body. She had the collecting day, I think, day before yesterday

and she couldn't drink for like the week before. Not I'm saying she drinks all the time, but, you know... My God, 70s. Whoa. But, you know, you can't put your body through any sort of... stress I think before they do all of that and then then you get told how many eggs they all manage to retrieve and then you need to pay rent as well so this is so obviously it costs a lot of money that's just yes gee did you not know this why can't you freeze them in your own freezer you can't

freeze them in your own freezer why not see this is what I mean like she needs to come on this because I'm yeah I need them I've got questions and then you pay rent a freezer space I've got a lot every year and then to unfreeze them costs costly costly process but there is obviously there's a lot of people that can get this done on the NHS I would imagine if you were going through IVF probably I don't know this is what I mean I have no idea so I think it's probably quite interesting to have somebody on the podcast that can talk about it yeah so we could maybe get my friend and some expert as well so if anybody listen to this knows of anyone that all wants to come on and talk about it then yeah like a hormone specialist yeah that would be

It would be great, yeah, hormone specialist, or let's say you work at a hospital where you do IVF or anything, yeah, let's get them on because I would love to learn about that. Anyway, we are going to do that in season three. Please message us if you want to be involved in that podcast or have any ideas or know of anyone. I think it would be really important thing to discuss, especially with how I'm feeling and how you're feeling. Because I'll have to have this conversation from you in a few years as well, I'm sure. Five years. Yeah. Okay, well.

five years of freedom happiness young dumb and gorgeous can't finish it because I'm not a male

young dumb and usually say full of cum if you're a male I did not think you're going to say that but also another one is young dumb and full of cum young dumb

maybe that could be the title of today's episode anyway that's enough for me I think Yeah, it's hot in this room. We're wrapping this up and I'll be wrapping up going forward when I'm having sex as well.

So yours on the floor. It just, it took me a couple of seconds more than it should have to comprehend what you meant there. We're wrapping up. You get it? There's also a phrase about that and I can't think what that is either.

Fucking hell, Zoe. Anyway, we'll see you next shows before the last episode. we'll see you next season what should we do oh we're going to get the boys we're going to try and get the boys if not if not we'll give you an absolute

false hope there so I apologise in advance yeah I hope you like that little blabbing hour of a podcast that we had no structure to whatsoever but you know sometimes it needs to be that way oh that's the best one it is all right then well

love you so much see you next Tuesday bye bye Thank you.