A Lot On Your Plate - S3 Ep11: We got a lap dance in Amsterdam…

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

This week we chat about Jess’ surprise bday trip to Amsterdam, and Zoe was there too! Tune in to hear what we got upto, we may or may not have went to a sex show and a strip club…enjoy😈- - - - - - - - - - - - Recorded, Edited & Published By @CobaltMediaUK Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy, Happy Tuesday, Poppiggies, I hope you've been having a lovely week. How are you? Welcome back to Elot on your plane. We really hope that you enjoyed last week's two episodes with our wonderful guests. It had some fantastic feedback, and it was very insightful. We had our boobies measured, and we are a massive. I'm traumatised 30G

Of course it had to be the letter G didn't it Too often But we're not double G Were we? It was just single G But it's so funny Because what Jane was saying

Was about the back size And I said oh I'm the classic 36C And she was like never But the bra that I had on I think I said in the podcast I was wearing a 34 It wasn't it was a 32 And she said

You could actually go down to a 30 because you'd, she measured you to a 30. Yeah. So, yeah. To be fair, I have known I'm a 30, but you know what the problem is? Well, I was wearing a 32 double D, right? The problem is trying to get a 32 double D is hard enough,

never mind a 30 double D, so now we're going to need to get a 30 G. Fuck. Like, I'm still traumatised that I can't ever go into pre-mark and get a wee cute bra. I now can't even more. Well, what I will say is Jane gave us the bra and I wore that all week. just gone and I felt great with it under my clothes

I felt so supported I would admit it was quite tight on my back maybe like 30 I need to lose a little bit back job but were you putting on the tightest to the loosest

I think it was the loosest I think you told me the loosest I'd be just not used to like that feeling because I think you don't want to really feel your bra but I suppose for it to actually be supportive

you should you would probably need to feel it on you do you know what I mean and that brand fantasy is really nice the quality of the bras were great weren't they? Yeah.

And I've never heard of them before. So, today's Spirriss Wallow, we managed to get. I just got this for my birthday. And so did you. Well, somebody who bought it for my birthday, bought it for you. Yeah. Thanks, Elsa. It is the M&S Italian hazelnut cream.

And I will admit, I have been eating it all week in a little spoonful in my porridge. Well, I've not tried it yet, so you would get a true reaction for me. Oh, my God. You're in for a treat, you know? By the way, it smells exactly. How you imagined. like a Bueno. Yes. I know people are saying that's what it tastes like,

but it actually smells as it, I like it as well. So Zoe told me to go to the shop yesterday and get the M&S Dutch shortcakes, which I did, but I also saw these new hazelnut wafer mini rolls just picture like an adult Milky Way crispy roll filled with hazelnut filling. And we're going to dip in. I haven't done the dipping yet.

I've only tried the hazelnut creme on its own, okay? Right, okay. Jesus fuck, Zoe. I'm dipping it in. It's so soft Oh my God We're TikTok influencers See that was more of a scoop than a dip

Oh my gosh I'm sorry that's the best I've ever eaten in my life More This is my breakfast How bad Same And I wonder why I broke out At about 25 spots today

Oh my God It's absolutely worth of stress I'm trying to get that We're just pause here for five minutes to you finish it. Oh, I've rocked at him. Doinkey, doonky, doonky, doonky. Do you want to try it?

No. I'll take a biscuit, but I'll not take a dip. Oh, why? Not too much goo. Oh, yeah. Right, anyway, now I'm going to try the haz on that Woffer mini rolls. Woffer? Did you just say Woffer?

I was like, don't tell me that's how you Scottish people say that. No, it's wait for her. I just was in a trans, I think. Oh, my Lord. Eminet, you've done a great. I was in the shop yesterday. I actually now look out for the green label. You know where it says no? Because I just want to be in the know of all the newness.

And that was new. They're unbelievable. So that's a definite swanow for me. Do you know what? We haven't I had a spit since Jesus gave us those disgusting, salted things from Copenhagen. And by me, someone may I just say that they absolutely love them. And I just...

Oh, really? Sorry, what? They actually message us to say they knew as soon as G said what he'd got for us, that they knew what he were going to be. Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, we have so much to update you on. So if you remember last week, I said I was going on a surprise trip with Richard. I can't wait to tell you guys from start to finish what has just happened.

You're a little snake. G's a little snake. And it appears that every single person in my life is a little sneaky snake. I can't believe you kept it a secret from me. So anyway, the surprise. trip was to Amsterdam. I was so buzzing. That's where I really wanted to go because it was the place that me and Richard first ever went. Honestly, I thought to myself, I said to Zoe, said, he's not going to propose to me, is he, Zoe? Because I'm not having my Phil Mitchell's done and I need

them done big time. And she went, no, Jess, you're not getting proposed to, so I was like, okay sound. Yeah, which I knew for obvious reasons coming up now. Yes. And then, anyway, I get to the airport. I'm looking back thinking, Richard was not in any way stressed at all. Nothing was suspicious to me nothing at all you're not exactly the most observant person though do you know what I mean because he said to me that I bought this amazing

t-shirt from uniclo it's like a men's t-shirt and he was like well where's that from I like that oh it's a uniclo men's tea you can wear it if you want he went yeah I might wear it in Amsterdam apparently I did not even register what he said and he was literally stood there like fuck is anybody shocked

is anyone saying they're shot oh no I can't hear anyone I am tuned to the moon And anyway, got to the airport And roll it, well, you hear him in the video Because he goes to me I went, oh, there's apparently a new Pratt now at Glasgow Airport And he went, no, no, no, let's go in here, let's go and get a beer

And I went, oh, someone's on his Ollie Bops You can hear me say it in the video As I'm walking in, surprise, there's Zoe and Jason And I was honestly shook to my Do you know what, I thought it was weird in the morning as well You were not texting me very much because I had to do some work bits before I left as well and she wasn't being a very good mumma,

I was like, send me the brief, she wasn't doing it, I thought. Yeah, I was taking quite a while to reply and in my head, I'm like going to fucking shut up because I'm actually in the shower getting ready to meet you at the airport. And you're in text saying, TikTok, and I thought this is weird that I'm actually chasing Zoe for something. And meanwhile, my side of this story is

I've actually been scared to speak for about two months about Jessie's birthday or Jason's birthday. Jason knew he was going. Oh yeah, by the way, Jason's birthday as well. Jason's birthday the same day. Yeah. So it was like a birthday of the same day. weekend for him too but he was in on the surprise so when we recorded the last episode that was the

last time I was going to see Jess before her birthday trip and I gave her two guests a hug and went to go in my car and Jess was like um excuse me you've not gave me a hug and I was like oh yeah I'm not gave me a hug and I was like oh yeah I'm not going to see you before that area and she Just looked at me and I thought, she fucking knows. I didn't, sorry. I thought to myself, she knows that we are going and then I was like, great, shrewing, let's pretend, but we're all surprised, yay.

And then when we got to the airport and jumped out on her, I knew you didn't know because you were shocked to the core. And you know what was funny in that video? I actually, it looks like I look at you. Like, it looks like I'm looking at you as I'm walking, but I am looking at you, I think, but I'm not registering you. Not you, couldn't see us, though, because the way we were sitting,

there was like a wood sort of, like, we were in like the Wetherspins right in Glasgow Airport, which again we actually went in there just to hide at the start and then I thought I was saying Richard you take her to whatever she wants to go and we'll come up and sneak up on you but then I thought oh do you know what let's just get her drink we'll just tell them to come here so we were around the corner but the way I put my phone there was a wee like sneaky bit so my phone was out which is why it looks like

you can see me but you can't right okay and then we jumped out to be like hello surprise oh it was just the best I was shaking wasn't I I was so, like, shook to the core. And then some lovely man came over as well, didn't he? And he said that... He was a just-J-sford fan. And he was on the way to Amsterdam. And he said that my page had...

Because he was stuck in Amsterdam in COVID, wasn't he? And he said that him and his friend, my page, saved him through whatever, food-wise. But then he gave us some tips as well, some places to go. So anyway, sat there and I was like, oh, there's a few good supper clubs there as well. And then you looked at me and you were like, well, that's where we're going tonight. I thought, buzz him. Also equally few men because I didn't really bring any dressy outfits. I thought I was genuinely going on a couple's holiday.

Also, what I found was weird. Richard, I said, I'm going to pack my gym kit. Because I wanted to do some exercise. I did. And which I know is really off-brand. Chase does that for every single trip, by the way, puts the gym kit. And do you know what?

I do the same quite often, I have to admit. Do I ever use a gym? No, I don't. So it was quite often. But anyway, Richard turned around and said to me, wait, oh, we're going to do crossfit on me there anyway. went, no, I thought, something's not right. He would always want to do, or even take his kit.

Especially if you offered it up. He might be like, oh, I don't want to mention it. It's her birthday trip. Yeah. But the fact you've offered and he said, no, was quite suspicious also. So then it didn't stop there. So just, again, my point, Jess is, like, thanks be all relaxed because the surprise is out.

I'm still up to hideau, scared to speak. Jess, you can tell them why. But I didn't know. I thought you were just quiet usual self. I had my best acting skills on and luckily we were sitting in fact we'll mention this first we were sitting separate on the flight right so we booked it separate

whatever then I thought you know what I'm going to do I'm going to be that really annoying person that like gets the flight attendant to announce that it's Jason and Jessie's birthday right so I'm away at the toilet being all sneaky convinced the we want to do it she actually writes it on her hand your agees and everything

she does it and then Jason's all embarrassed we were up the back I saw, I heard loads of people clapping. Jess and that were down the front. And roundabout was the guy that knew Jess, like we were singing happy birthday and just embarrassing Jason. About ten minutes later, I got up to go and say to Jess, oh, did you hear an announcement?

No, what you're talking about? I was like, of course you didn't fucking hear that. You told me I needed to edit my content on the plane so I was doing my work with headphones in. I didn't even hear, but I heard clapping. I was like, ooh, what's going on? And I actually thought to myself, she won't hear this. Oh, I didn't. That's a shame for me.

Anyway, the effort was there. Carry on. Yes. So, we get to the hotel and... We're in a mad rush, by the way, to get ready for the booking. We are. Can we get there like, what? Quarter seven.

It took us over an hour to get through security, which was absolute jokes. That was a joke. And then we get a taxi to the hotel, and then we got to the hotel. You and actually get checked in, fine, so you were away getting ready. I checked in, paid for the hotel, and then the screen froze. It was like a self-checkout thing. Oh, yeah. we had to wait in the queue

in hotel reception is why are you so slow so slow so I think me and Jason literally had 25 minutes to get ready he did you look great though so then Richard's on the bed ready I'm literally air wrapping my hair the door knocks he goes babe get that

I'm buying something on my phone and I remember I was like looking at him like fucking idiot I've got an air wrap in my hair I open the door like pissed off and there was Holly and Kane stood there who is my best friend from Lester who also was being weird with me in the morning

like she's normally I don't know just a bit more OTT on your birthday yeah maybe but I don't know it was just weird and I was like I didn't really think too much into it but when I saw I was like

you sneaky fuckers this makes so much sense and then I we've shared the video I think you've probably seen it by now but yeah that that really shocked me you shocked me but I think because it was another surprise you weren't expecting it to happen again

you know when you look outside the door and I saw four people it took a second to register like wait what is going on how have you done this and then we went to supper club we had just such a good night didn't we I think the first night was my favourite in a way because we went there

we're just like drinking loads whatever it was a good atmosphere kind of weird that you lie on the beds and you get dinner there and you took your socks you took your shoes off so we had big white football socks on under a big sexy black boots

and she had sitting there in a black mini dress with white socks on. It was kind of around my vibe. And also because I got ready so fast, I didn't actually have time to have a shower. Yeah. So I was probably stinking. Anyway, we were sitting eating our dinner

and like our stuff was all kind of like wee kind of fancy plate so I felt like it wasn't as bad for us but like the guys had steak. So they would sit and eat in a steak on the bed. Yeah, it was a bit bizarre setup. And I do think it's quite a touristy overrated spot now. I think back a few years ago,

but you know what? In a group setting, as we were, it was a really good fun and they were really, you know, going over the top about our birthday. Yeah. Because, like, you'll have seen maybe from some of our stories as well that, or my TikTok if you watched that.

I loved that, Zoe. Right. That there's, like, a singer and there's, like, dancers and, like, girls with fire and stuff like that. So it's, like, quite entertaining and, like, a good laugh. And I do feel, like, that's a good thing to do on your first day somewhere because you kind of need the vibes to be high.

Yeah. Because you're tired from travelling, do you know what I mean? Yeah. that you kind of need the vibes to get lifted and like you get to get forced into like dancing stuff which we did and then we proceeded to play I'm horny, honoured

and as soon as that came on I was like wow get me on that stage we were all jumping on the bed it was if we were having a pillow fight you know that way and Abba came on for you and you were living the dream oh it was great we had that photo booth

it was just such a good laugh and like we hadn't mean Jason hadn't met Holly's boyfriend Kane before so it was just like a good opportunity to get to know each other. And they got on really well, didn't they? Yeah, he's really funny.

Cade's really similar to one of Jason's best friends. So we knew they'd get along. Yeah, so we knew that would be like two peas in the pod. And obviously Zoe gets on really well with Holly. We've been away together a few times now. So, yeah, then at this point, because I was drinking Miraval with you, wasn't I? And I'm not a wine drinker.

It's called Mirabal, isn't it? Yeah, we were on our, I want to say, third or fourth bottle of wine. Yeah. And I just thought, I'll just do something easy and drink with the girls because it was nice wine. It was. So I drank that and I think I was a different kind of drunk

because I was just overwhelmed and just giddy. I also haven't had much of an appetite for the past couple weeks so I haven't really eaten an awful lot and it was small plates as well so I think I was pretty pissed. Yeah. But good vibes pissed and then we left and what did we then do?

We went to go and find some space cakes, don't we? We did. We were on the hunt for a karaoke bar, obviously. But we thought on the way, what shall we do? We'll get right into Amsterdam's spur and get some space cakes And we asked a local guy outside Like where's good to go And he said

Because Kane told me about a place That somebody had recommended to him So I told it to this local guy He went that is the place you should go We turned up there Zoe Do you remember? It was like a They were in like white paper hats

It was like an exquisite cupcake shop Bright and white and clean The offerings were like red velvet Everything was like really cool It was kind of like that It was like a dingy little shop What is that like laudery or whatever in Paris, like pure fancy, when we were at each hour, like, mm-hmm, right.

It was a bit strange. But anyway, we all did, I think we got like two, just two brownies between the six of us. I think Jason get a brownie, which is what I had a bit of... Red velvet? Red, Richard got red velvet. Oh, so he did. And I think Cade. I just say that Richard, as in Richard Tate, who has never touched any sort of thing in his entire life, bless his heart.

Class C. Is it a Class C drug? I don't know. I don't even know, but it's legal, so. he was like, okay, it was just the best. And I think it all hit us at the same time. I think we all thought nothing was going to happen as well, so we all kept having me nibbles.

And then at this point, we were in the karaoke bar and we were like 10 drinks down again because they just kept, we were ordering drinks and then Kane just kept ordering six beers. So we were drinking like a vodka kind of beer at the same time the whole night. Oh my God, yeah. Jason obviously got on the karaoke

because can I just say Jason's voice is fucking brilliant. He was really, really, really, really good singer. How much do you hate that as really? Yeah. I actually quite like it. She was like a fun guy and having her arm round him as you say that. I was, this is my man. No, I was.

I actually was. I like it when he sings the songs that I like and then I'm like, look everyone, look how good the singer my boyfriend is, right? When I don't like it is when we do a duet because I can hold a tune but I'm not a good singer. Do you know what I mean by that? Like I can hit those notes and like I'm not out of tune but I don't sound good. Yeah. So then I'm like, it's never knowing me.

me that you're, people are only, we're doing a duet and people are only listening to you. Yeah, he's brilliant. He's so confident as well and he was just, he was, the bar was packed and a lot of people in there were foreign and they didn't understand the song he was singing. What was it? Daniel Merriweather? No, it was last request?

Oh, was it? And there was people just watching him in awe but no one was singing along because they didn't know the words. Because he does that like, thing made his voice. But oh, we were all high on, like, well literally high. But we were high on line. for an iron space skates.

I think it all hit us at the same time and we just had the best night. I think that night as well was a bit wild because apparently you're not really supposed to drink and do that at the same time. So I think we were like, we were probably more drunk than we thought we were for a start and then added that into the mix

and then because we had added it into the mix we probably were just so unaware of the condition of ourselves so then we just kept drinking. Yeah. And I said, didn't I on the plane? I said, I want to be, what was the word I used? dumbfounded, I want to be dumbfounded by Amsterdam. I want to do everything possible, imaginable, that is crazy and wild.

Apart from a shagapuzzi, but I, you know, I would have probably have been up for it at some point. I think, I mean, on that last night, I think we could convince you to do that, for more honest. No, you nearly did, remember? Because Richard asked her how much she wasn't. Yeah, Richard asked how much she was, and he said, she was only £100 for 20 minutes. And do you don't remember, I was like, I would have gone that, and Holly was like, go on then, go on then. going together she said I said I would never

we would encouraging you both I mean I think you were close Jess kept just doing this thing and saying this is wild no no I said this is weird but I like it this is getting weird but I like it I did like it

honestly I was weird but then things just got even weirder as the weekend went on the next day I was a trooper I think I was so hungover Were you? I think we were all a bit rough around edgies so we forced herself to breakfast.

And we went to a place called... Which was delicious, actually. Box social, great recommendation, by the way. Really recommend that. So good, wasn't it? Went to the one in Jordan. There was two in Amsterdam, but we went to one that was in like a really cool area,

near the canals, I think. I have no idea where I went at any point. I was just following Jess. And also the girls actually booked me an amazing restaurant that I wanted to go to for so long for years.

I think it's called DeCass. Yeah. D-E. K-A-S. And it's sort of like a farm to table greenhouse-style restaurant

a little bit out of the way. It's been on my list for ages. Did we make it there? No. There was the Tommy Fury fight and the Logan Paul and then two rugby's because Kaine's really into rugby.

So we, the Saturday, yeah. Wait, we need to talk about the Friday. I can't even remember what we did Friday. Friday. Friday has a bit of a blur for about 7, 8 hours. That was the best. Alright, so we went for breakfast

and then we storted back in to the kind of main bit. We wanted to go to the Red Light District because we hadn't been there yet. And Jason's quite keen to see that. Can I also say that a lot of people in the group hadn't been to Amsterdam before so we were like, we need to take you to Amsterdam and then we walked past Casaroso, which is

is it Casaroso? Yeah, I think it is called that. It is the pink elephant and it is the main sex show on the tourist strip. I've been before, I went with Richard. It is awkward. It's just one of those things where it's not even, you don't get turned on by watching it at all.

It's actually the most boring thing I've ever witnessed. I think, actually. But it was a daytime show for 40 euros and you got two strip shows, strip tease shows, and then one live sex show. And we thought, okay, let's go in. It's a really small little.

tiny room maybe you could have fit 20 people max in there yeah it's like a wee mini theatre in a tiny little stage that rotates open and there they are first girl was quite good she was pulling beads out of her nun who were like right in here then the best way to describe these beads are you know the bit on your blind yeah that you pull your blind down with that that's what these were and they just kept coming out and out and out I just don't understand how she got them up there without tangling them to then get them because she wasn't it didn't just come out and I won her it was coming out like bit by bit as and it was one big string

but she was just pulling it out you know as she pleased signing a professional I know but I don't need some signs behind that so anyone knows she was a little bit you know she dance probably like Taylor Swift a bit stiff but she needed a bit more rhythm into it

didn't she? And there wasn't any facial it was very straight face no facial expressions and then the next woman came out she was a bit sexier she was a bit more into it I would say and then she whacked out this gigantic clear dildo that she just smacked

on the floor and it sucked to the floor and then she started bouncing on it doing all sorts of things and I was like whoa whoa it was a lot and then I think me I could feel like my bum hole like

actually turning inside out I was like this is awkward the boys were all like whoa I do feel like yeah that's the one that made us feel a bit awkward but I'm like you did what you're meant to do you did a good job there hen. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, she did. Whereas the one before, I was like, right, I need you off

because you make me feel awkward now because you've done the same thing for 10 minutes. Yeah. Then we got on to the sex show, well, speaking of awkward. Do you know what it was? I was really hoping to see a really gorgeous man, but he was, he was dead when he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, I thought he'd be, like, packing well and he wasn't, and he was just, like, a skinny. This skinny wee guy, but, like,

I feel like he had, like, a nose-dring, and he had, like, a half, you know, like bottom of his head was shaved, top was long and it was in a bun. But he had tattoos and all that, but he wasn't like built. He didn't have anything to him. Again, facial expression did not move. Did nothing. Did no.

And she looked bored as hell. And the whole time they just did doggie. The whole 20 minutes of the same, like, I would say it was like a happy hardcore type song where it just kept going faster, fast, fast, fast. The only thing that was entertaining about it is when the beat dropped, he went faster. But they genuinely stayed in that position the whole time until the curtains shut

and it was like, you started to look about, like I feel like a creep watching this at this point because it actually does just feel as if people are just shagging. They didn't feel like a sex show, is what I mean? Well, then we decided to go to the classic Bulldog Cath. We've got a really good seat at the back, didn't we? And I started drinking the desperado. Desperado is my favourite beer in the world, which also smells like weed, I think. I think we're just about weed in the brain.

at this point. And then we just said to, Zoe was like, right, I want to play cards. Classic. I always take a pack of cards and we usually, but we didn't. So you went and bought some. And we sat in there for hours. And we didn't actually smoke any weed in there. No, we didn't. But we sat there for hours playing cards. And this group of like

three, I would say like little dweeby men came in bless them. And they had pints. I kid you not, they probably took one sip of their beer. And all of a sudden this guy just collapsed on the floor, crawling across the floor and I was like, oh my God, what's going on? That did make me feel a bit uneasy. Yeah, me too. He took a few

what, drawers of his... Yeah, and he'd whited. He was fine, though. I know, because then two minutes later, he came back for his beer and I was like... Yeah. I'd never witnessed that before. If that was in Glasgow, I would have had you in an ambulance, do you know what I mean? Where it's over there, it's just

quite normal for that to happen to people. So I think we were just... We were in such a good spirit because were hot boxed basically in there. Yeah, we were. So yeah, and then what did we do that night? That was the night we stotted to the food market and it took us about 35 minutes to walk there.

Food halen. Food halen. Really good usually actually. Got something to eat and then left and walked back. That's right. That's right. We went back around the Red Light District because Richard was Adamant.

He was obsessed with it, as was Jason. Both of them, they were just obsessed with the Red Light District. They wanted to go... It is quite fascinating, but I think... but I think they just... I mean, I think I like seeing the girls in the windows just as much as they did. Yeah, same.

And at night time, the real sexy ones came out. And then we... What did we do after that? I think we went home, didn't we? We caught it a bit of a night because we were still a little bit hung over. I think by that point because we'd walked about and sat

and the pubs and all that for so long were a bit wealthy, do you know? But food halen is really good, by the way. If you do go there, try and get a table early because it is massive, but it was so busy, wasn't it? It is a really good vibe, but I think because... and we were hot. We'd been like out and drinking all day

and we kind of forgot we were actually a bit hung over so we were all about like at that point by the time we got there so we just wanted in food and out. You did about 25,000 steps as well no joke. And that was no two step and that was full walking.

Yeah. Full walking. And you got a really nice burger and I got some amazing fried chicken oh my God it was so good. Yeah the food was amazing you should definitely go there if you go to Amsterdam.

And then the next day we went for some brunch again. We did a really nice place. place called Oof which means egg in French but we did initially

go to this it's a really cool area it's just near the Heineken experience if you go can't remember what it's actually cool but I would say it's more like

picture it a bit like Glasgow's finished in West End where everyone there's quite local it's really cool and there was two places called bakers and roasters

and local or locale and factory girl those three places we tried all three of them because that's where we were going to go queue out the door

it was a Saturday though so all the locals were there but they are unreal brunch places and then as we were walking to factory girl we realised it was vegan veggie which a few of the lads wouldn't have done so we then started queuing up for oof oof and we got a table inside and that

was so good it was so good I had Shaq Sugar yes and it was unbelievable yours looked great I had a croc monsieur and we had mimosa so you had a bellini did you? Yeah I had a bluini we just thought okay let's get back on it. Why not? You're only in Amsterdam once.

And this was the day where I think was our craziest. No, I think the day before but who knows, we ended up so we went back into the kind of centre bit, didn't we? And we wondered about.

And then we wanted to find we kind of wanted to find a sports bar that we knew we could then watch the boxing in. We went to some nice shops so didn't we? We went to Arquette. Oh, we went a wee bit of shopping actually. Ganny.

There's loads of... If you put in the maps, if you go Amsterdam, and put Ganny in or I think it was Gany because Archit was a little bit further but just go to there and all the shops around those streets I think it's called the nine streets or something. They are

really nice boutique shops really really cool so go there and go for some shopping because we loved it there didn't we? Yeah we had to be wandered actually that day you're right and then we wanted to find a sports bar which we did but we must have in there about

honestly I would say two o'clock yeah and we didn't leave it until seven-ish. Seven. In fact, a wee bit later than that time. And the Tommy Fury fight wasn't going on until like nine. No, it was half 11 in our time. And the only reason we left is because it was this guy

that was just been an absolute dick and he was annoying us and we just thought. Oh, yeah. I just don't like that. And the way we were sitting, he was behind us and he was really weird. And he was just making me feel on edge. And I was like, let's just go and get a change of the scene,

and I get away from this weird. Good sports father, though. What was that called? Coco or something. Yeah, it was in the same. square you'll find the main square of all the touristy bars it was in there bit like um like

outback style Australiany would you say yeah it was and we actually got some food in there as well like just pick a wee at and that was really nice I would recommend and then we thought right change your scenery let's go for a wander around the red light district again because we've not been there enough right um this is where things got really word we basically knew the girl's names at this point

so anyway our transport to there was quite questionable we got on little bikes. Oh, the little took-took-tuk bikes! Yep, so the girls were in one, the guys, and another. And I don't know what was wrong with a guy, but he was huffing and puffing. He had three walruses in the back. He was just knackard.

He was absolutely done, and he actually got off the bike and walked out at one point. And I thought, is it because of, like, the way the roads are right now, or is it us? And I think it was us. Anyway, we all got off that and we met again. So we were... Two of the crazy bars. We went to other bars, more drinks, more beers, whatever. I'd went from Salt to Desperado at this point,

so we were just trying about everything. At this point as well, can I just say the lads were all on the same wavelength and they were all just making friends with every single person they came across. So we couldn't get them out of every bar that we were in. But then we were just like... You know, when you just laugh at absolutely everything that happens,

like we just found everything that hit. It was the bike. Yeah. That bike situation put us into like a chance of laughter. We just couldn't get out of it. Anyway, we're walking up the street of the Red District right and Jess, obviously. I want to go to shippers.

So then we were like, right, let's go then. Like, you know, we're in Amsterdam. What's a better time? So then we found one, but Jess said it's two touristy. It's the one that's right on the street by the glamour. We're like, they're all the fucking same. Let's go in. So here we go.

30 euros each in. You go in, you get a drink. No, guys, I can't explain to you how much I regretted it instantly when I walked through that door, did you? obviously I didn't indeed by the end of it when we first walked in I was like oh my god I didn't see any form of regret in your facial expressions whatsoever no but the first second when you walked in

it wasn't what I pictured it to be like yeah so I've definitely never been as strippers before but from what you guys it's not like that at all I suppose it was more like it all just happened in front of your eyes whereas usually it's more they're further away and it's a bit of a show

so how the strippers I go to is a little bit more I'd say classier darker like nice velvety seats and it's there's areas that you can go in but this was up some crookedy little stairs the tiniest little bar and as soon as you walk in there was nobody there except us and shit you not 25 strippers and as soon as you walk in it's like a cattle market and they are on you and I walked in like oh my god 25 people are begging for 35 euros to dance on you so the lads go walking first and as we the girls get in all the lads have got girls surrounding them and I was like no no no I don't know if I like this straight away we've

bought you we've bought you girls a dance I was like oh my god my lesbian dreams are coming true if anyone wants to imagine how I felt at this point what you're imagining is correct Zoe you were the best for on that trip honestly like I'm a very chill person I would do anything and everything right like but I didn't think you do that though I love getting involved like you say jump I'll say how high you see jump off a bridge I'll jump right I'm that person I'm a yes girl from head to toe but do I want to touch bare tits

I would say no right this this is something maybe I draw the line here but then I went to the bar to get me and Jason's drink because you get it with your wee ticket token thing I came back and Jess and Holly were in deep conversation with these three girls and this was our girls I was getting a dance there was no question

and I did kind of I feel like I was instantly sober if you know what I mean like you know when you just get that fear come over you and I was like oh my fucking God I'm going to need to do it this is just life come on embrace it but it was making me feel weird that people could see us do you know what I mean yeah because they don't take you away into a room I mean I would not have an in a room

don't get me wrong but and it was only 35 euros as well so you can picture you could imagine like just how it was and like yeah and they would just say like 35 euros and you can touch and I was like I don't know if I want to touch you I'll look but not touch but anyway I'm quite intrigued by this like the sort of can I

sexual working world right so same i'm open to anything and seeing what happens and kind of getting a better understanding but the thought of it being like on me i was about like e but anyway she comes up to me and she's like just that's her she's sitting on top of me and i'm like right at one point she was this woman was swinging from a bar and putting her you know what in zoe's face and she was like right no but while she was doing this the woman was saying to me Where you from? And I'm like, your vagina, your Fanny Wani is actually in my face right now

you're going to ask me where I'm from and I'm like, Glasgow, hey, nigh. She then proceeds to say to me, I like the shy ones, I was like, fucking hell, do you? And the next minute, I look at Zoe to my right. So, very much, I've got a woman on me. I look to my right, I've got my big shades on as well, just trying to hide my embarrassment.

Zoe's got her teeth, bare teeth, and she's like, squeeze them. So Zoe's looking at me, like, squeezing these teeth. It was just, I wish I could just get everyone to witness that moment. I actually feel sorry for the girl because see when she was like moving direction, you know, it would be like, depending on where she is, a guy wouldn't actually put like their hands on their arsh or like on the boobs or whatever. My hands were down by my side unless she picked them up and put them on her.

And like that is a shame so I was about like you obviously know that I don't want to touch you. It wasn't her. It's just why would I think to do that? Yeah, it was just weird. But the one thing I'll say, her skin was so. You kept saying that, she was like, I scared, baby. I actually really wanted to ask her what's used on her skin, right? But I thought, is that inappropriate?

Like, I think I was kind of overthinking what's inappropriate and inappropriate to say. Yeah. Because I know there's definitely things that you probably shouldn't say or ask or do, do you know what I mean? Anyway, we proceeded to then it was, Jason was like, what's that turn now? Well, we were just sat there. All of a sudden, Jason's walking over to the till with a chosen girl. I was like, I'm getting a dance now. I thought, n'n't bother me.

You know, me losin. And she was fit. as well, wasn't she? She was like, cavacious, sexy. Apparently, I picked her because she'd boobs arch a nice face, like his Zoe. I was like, nay, bother. Yes, sure, hon, sure. That's why. So next minute, and I remember I was saying to Richard and Cain, like, oh, well, if Jason's going to get a dance, we'll get you one.

Well, then I was a bit like, hold on a minute, are all the boys getting a dance? And Jason was like, aye, aye, but then we looked at them and they were, they were like, no, no, no. one and I was like no I want you to get one I think I would have felt weird if Jason did get one but they didn't yeah I did feel okay with it don't get me wrong I didn't really watch because not because I was jealous because it made I felt it was awkward it was a bit awkward at the start because I think he was the first one to do it and we were all just stood there watching because they didn't watch us get our dance no Jason did watch me oh did he he was up sitting

at the bar was he what he was loving it I honestly think that's weird no he was loving it But then I said to Because she was so nice The girl wasn't she She came over to which she's like I like it when the girlfriend's here Like let us know anything that you don't want us to do And you were like

Do whatever you want Anyway So next minute I said But I'm gonna buy Richard her Yeah Because I really liked her She was Sam weren't she She was actually really nice

And then so I know this might sound So crazy to a lot of people by though Because you wrote it in our group chat And two of our friends were like We love the fact that you embrace the experience But we could never allow our man And I was like, they don't get like hard on or anything. And also you literally stood there watching them.

It's just... I think as well, because as Jess said, the way that atmosphere is definitely. They probably do get that if they're in a room on their own, by the way. No, of course. Yeah, he's like, oh yeah, they do. But not while your girlfriend stood there watching you. No, I know. And Jason put it perfectly.

It was like, you're just finding it a laugh and finding it like fun and part of the experience when... Because by this point, by the way, there was loads of people in the strip club. They all get dances. And they're all getting dances. So like everyone, it was very open and people were just there. for the experience. It was a bit more of a laugh, wasn't it? And obviously we were there and it was like,

not that we were like taking the piss out of the girls around the pole. I know that we were absolutely cheating them on but I think it was more like an experience for us to with each other rather than oh I'm in here to get like aroused. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Like it was a different thing. So then Richard's turn and Zoe I was just in a like a state of I don't know, sexual shock. You were like a woman possessed. I couldn't cope with how sexy it was I was obsessed with it and I know I'm not normal

but I was watching him like oh I couldn't didn't care about her couldn't take my eyes off him he looked so sexy from that position and I was like you are so gorgeous I was obsessed with it a girl's bum watching him like

touch her in that I was like wow I'm so obsessed that you get another one yeah no he bought me her no he bought me her so Richie was like obviously was not blessing, we didn't feel and comfortable, he loved it because I was like, just, just go for it.

Just, I know, but we're kind of like, enjoy it. Stop, like, thinking, oh, you can't touch your place. Yeah. It's like a bit of skin, come on. And then Kane came over and had one, but she was so good. She was more of like a little, like, gymnast, wasn't she? Yeah.

So then I said, I, Richard goes, I'm going to get you her, Jess, because I was, I loved her. And then I was like, no, I can't go through that again. It was a bit embarrassed. No, it's too awkward. So then I said, you, he'd paid for it. So, like, you have her. and then he had her

and it was just so fun to watch but he preferred the first girl though because she was more like curvy and Tiddy and Tidinus. I do actually think as well like from a girl's point of view they're performing and I know like I... So magic mic

if you got one to say to a magic mic and I do think yeah if you were going to like I would not be okay if Jason could take into a room like that would be a different thing for me I don't think I would be okay with that and let's put it into perspective the cost of going into a room was

800 euros and it was 35 euros for a dance sat there you can imagine like what it was like it wasn't really i know this is weird to say but it wasn't really that sexual if you know what i mean nah well i don't know like they were sexy as hell no the girls in that were sexy but like it wasn't like the guys weren't sitting like oh like pure struggling and keep them feeling their fucking no not at all it was just more like laughing it was just more like this is fine anyway we were so club we did it and even the next day we would decide that was wild we loved it we just really did amsterdam the way you should do it and like i know that that part of the strip club or whatever not for everyone but it doesn't mean anything like it's a laugh yeah so but i said to him like you

ain't you ain't going on your own i mean i know he does i mean i'm pretty sure many men do but i'm not stupid but i mean i got a dance i love a strip club exactly i'd get danced by magic mic for sure Maybe not in a private room I don't know Maybe I would So yeah basically What do we do the Sunday Sunday we just wondered about

We were going home that day So we went to the shops again Did we get some nice food in a bit Oh we'd for that breakfast club place And it was just Yours and Jason's wasn't very good was it Nah I just don't think

See by that point when I'm away I know we don't need that much right But I'm like I just want a wee bit of toast in the house Yeah Do you know what I mean? But all in all guys we couldn't wait to tell you this trip

because it was just was the best trip ever we did so many other crazy things as well just loads of other shit but we won't be here all day we did just laugh and start to finish like I know it's quite kind of to say but we didn't we did Holly actually messaged in our group chat

like me hearn Mitch was the one that we had planned that saying I asked Richard if I could be added into that and he said no it's just for you three and they called the group chat crossfit lull because in case it cropped upon his phone I would know that I wouldn't I wouldn't give a fuck about something to do with the crossplay.

I know. Well, they wrote in it this morning saying not over the weekend, keep laughing. We play the Blinder, well done team. And I was like, you're absolutely right, hen. We really did. I'm so glad Richard was on top form as well. He was up for anything, bless him. So, yeah. That was it, really. If you were wondering, if you should go to Amsterdam,

well, there's your sign. Yep, 100%. And then I think I've been up to much else. I came back. I went to Luke Combs on Monday. That was really good. He's a country singer for those I don't know. Like the Hydro. didn't do much else we've got my night out this weekend on Saturday which

lol I was about to cancel and I text and voice like to all my friends saying listen I'm done in I can't be bothered which is a shame because I'm so looking forward to it and then Jiddy texts me like no no no no no you can't I get a text off my friend Alicia who lives down in London

like screenshots of her flight confirmation like I was actually coming to surprise you so I've ruined that surprise so I'm still going we are still going out Once we're out, we'll be fine. I know. And I'm excited now. I think I was just being, you know...

But it's also because you didn't know you were celebrating your birthday with your pals at that point when you planned it. Like, you didn't know we were going to be in Amsterdam, some of us. So... That's what I said to the girls. I said, I feel like I've celebrated now with my friends. But I know I haven't.

I mean, two friends out of fucking 58. CBA. We'll get through it. We'll be patting hard. Like, there's no tomorrow. Hey, so I think that's it then. We'll wrap up there. Jesus.

I'm done in. We'll see you on Friday for the gorgeous bonus episode. See ya. See ya. Looking for a community that has it all, welcome to Crossings, the Urban Hub of West Lethbridge. At Crossings, you'll find a vibrant village designed for living, working and connecting. With top-notch schools, a state-of-the-art rec center, retail spaces and parks,

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