A Lot On Your Plate - S3 Ep2: Meet our mums.....

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Welcome back to ALOYP! This week we are joined by our mothers…what were we thinking?? We discuss all things from our best & worst traits, embarrassing things they know about us and what’s their type on paper! Enjoy😘 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And here we go. Welcome back, happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday, guys! I hope you enjoyed last week's episode and thank you all so much for the love and the shares. We appreciate it so very much. People were so glad we're back and I'm glad as well as this. I'm absolutely buzzing tea back today.

Here we are. Here we are. We've got a sight in the ex... What? She's nervous. My mum's making me nervous. Don't play me. Because we've got exciting guests

our mothers sitting right beside us to the left. And it's so funny because they have walked in wearing pretty much the exact same thing. It is so cute. Bright orange, you know, an interesting choice of colour, but I'm here for it. I mean, I've never seen you in orange. That's the first time I've had this on

and I just, today I thought, you know, go right. I'm on holiday, holiday vibe. holiday vibe stars are aligning i love it so welcome to the podcast ladies they are both nervous how you feeling a little bit nervous yeah yeah deep breaths we've all been sat inside us before but calm before the storm yes so let's pour us a drink to calm these nerves shall we yeah take the edge off yeah let's take the edge off cheers maz cheers cheers cheers cheers chin chint chin i do like heavy head we've got the fancy glasses i know we've got like college cup we've got college red Cups from Gia and

mothers have an ice golden young and beautiful and we also have a little our first of the season small business shout out. We have a charcutory board here from one of our lovely listeners she wrote, Jess and Zoe I hope you enjoy

your charcutte box. How smart is that business name can I just say like charcutte? I absolutely love your podcast and listen every single week. Keep up the good work and then she just listed all of the today's cheeses This box includes dairy gluten, mustard and nuts, lots of love, Charcute and co.

Why are you not speaking, Mum? It's silent. You couldn't shudder up all bloody wheat. So we've just been away together for five days, and it's just been an chance. So, let's introduce yourself. Let's go with you first, Polly. Okay, yeah.

I'm Polly from Lester and I'm married. I've got a dating podcast. I said it because that's what you do on the... Do you remember Silla's... Silla Bligh. What's your age, please? I am about five weeks off 60. Woo!

Well, next up, me. So I am Suzanne. I'm not married. Hello! And, oh, yo, and... God, what are you jammer? I always forget this, don't I? I'm 57 right now.

now. Is that right? Yeah. And I'll be 58 at my birthday. Because for a while I was telling people I was a year older because I was in that year and I just kept getting confused. So it was a nice surprise when I realised. And how many children do you both have? Well, I've got three. Three? So he's the

middle child. Middle child syndrome. Yeah. So I've got an older son, Adam. He's 29. Zoe and Ben, who's 14. Oh. Big age gap. Yeah, I know. And I'm a mother of an only child which has said one over there

and I also have two stepchildren who are not really children but I've been in their life a fair while I get called the favourite child because you are the only child oh I don't think I get called the favourite child I think Ella is the favourite but I get called even though I'm not the only child you see ah what from both parents

you don't call the favourite child I'll see you and my favourite daughter I'm definitely your favourite my dad denies this but he has said words that I'm his favourite child and he has four kids yeah he's got more kids didn't he yeah I mean he can deny it all he wants but I think the person that says it most is you

and being asked me trying to convince it yeah well that's what I don't mean okay so can you tell us we start every episode asking you what's been a lot on your plate physically emotionally So shall we start with what you've physically been eating this week?

Yes, so I had a beautiful breakfast made for me this morning by my only child. And it was stunning. It was a bagel with shiracha mayonnaise and some bacon, some avocado and some eggy cheese. It was like a cheesy egg, wasn't it? She was like, wow, what is this? And snowed combo together. It was stunning. Yeah, it was really nice.

And then this week, we've eaten a lot out in the Isle of Lewis and I've had some pretty nice meals. But things that stand out for me, we had pizza from a pizza guy that was in the middle of nowhere called Crust. He needs a shout out because it was fantastic. It was amazing. I'm not shared it on my page yet, but I like the name. Yeah, a lot of people told us to go,

and it's just in the middle of literal nowhere, and it's just like a big unit. and he makes thin crust proper pizzas. The tomato base was amazing, wasn't it? We had hot honey on top. We loved it. I'm not a massive pizza fan, but I would say that I haven't eaten pizza

as good as that for 30 odd years. It was that good. Yeah, it was really good. Yeah, it was superb. Easy. Suzanne. So I'm going to skip back to last week because this past week I've just kind of lived on wine and chocolate really

probably all week. And by the way, when my mum says that, she generally does mean she won't have had a meal like that day, like she will just have snacked on chocolate throughout the day whilst working at home and then I have a glass of wine at night. And the odd baked potato with tuna. So that's been this week.

However, last week I was in Sorrento. Yes. Oh my God. The food, food, food was everywhere. Everywhere was just unbelievable food and you just there's thousands of restaurants and every single one of them

just put out this. amazing food. Can you tell that my mum speaks poorer than me? I'm not even really doing my phone voice either. I don't know, I think you are quite well spoken though Zoe. More so than some people I've met up here anyway. Oh no, 100% I mean there's a wide variety up here but I think just mom's a bit more sitting. Yes, yes. Than I was say like I was sitting there. Yeah, you would. I mean it comes in

goes so yeah like see if a builder comes over at my mum's and like she's then like I've got my bother um you can come the mora like that's fine no but that's that's absolutely fine no worries might like but I think I think I don't do that you not you know so I mean I work for harvey Nichols and I speak to certain customers which which also the harvey nichols customers also range dramatically yeah I can just say they're not all you know princesses so some of them are but um genuine princesses i mean by that um so that has to that has to vary dramatically as well but we'll do that don't me whoever we're speaking to are you get and then you mom pronounces the letter at the end of the word so strongly she'll say think think you do it all

does it have a cayon yes yes it does anyway what's been on your plate emotionally it's intense as quite a good answer actually yeah but likewise trust me i've never met anyone that talks so much and it's it's no and i know you're all looking at me like i talk and it's not a bad thing i know but you know but it's the conversation i'm like what the hell how do we go from that to the next and i know it sounds like we're speaking about me but it's different this morning i'm trying to get ready i'm getting stressed and she's everything i'm trying to do is like have you got this, have you got that, have you got that? I'm like, Mom, just please breathe.

Breathe the second. So yeah, I think it works both ways when we say a week together is, it's been intense. But I grew up together with my mum, it was just me and my mum. So it was like we were sisters, wasn't it, when we grew up? We're just like, we've got that sort of relationship. Yeah, in a lot of ways. But then when you wanted to be mum, it didn't quite work. Oh, no.

Yeah, you're either one or the other. So, yeah. We actually watched the Tommy Fury documentary last night, and the daughter said something like strict parents raise um it's she said like naughty kids yeah strict parents raised like rebel kids and that is so true

like my mum was not strict with me so I was just very much what what she knows she knew everything everyone was around my house it was there was no I wasn't grew up in a strict household whatsoever although my mum did teach me right and wrong

and I was... Yeah and I spoke I had everything was corrected in terms of like how I spoke to people politeness that was all like drilled into me young but I think when it came to freedom of who I wanted to be and what I think that was very much a well she had no choice in the matter it was I'm I'm out I advocate that I think that's great to let her be a free spirit yeah yeah we were probably the same aren't you weren't that shocked well I feel as if I feel as if compared to some of my

friends when I look at their kids and how they behaved I just kind of think how could you let them do that? So I think when you were younger kids I was kind of expected they not to have tantrums although you did have your tantrum when I had to go away from work you had a screaming film. There was one time and Nana and Papa bring it up every time I see them as well.

You did have a tantrum and it was unusual though. I think when your children are young if you just teach them to behave and be polite and be still have fun and not be overly strict I think you then grow up not breaking loads of rules because you kind of know

where it's those boundaries, you know where they are. In your head, there's no really rules in place then if you're not that strict. Do you know what I mean? Whereas when you need to be strict you then, no, I shouldn't do that. But I agree with your mum in the sense that when, if you do the groundwork early, so like by four or five years of age, which I'd say was where I kind of let Ella, Ella. She just this all the time.

All the time. Well, let Jessica kind of start to sprout and grow to be who she was. Yeah, yeah. I brought you in the slip. But I think I agree with you in that sense that I did all the hard groundwork early on. And then so when her personality starts to show, I don't want to quash that.

I want that to flourish. Yeah. Flourished it did. I don't think I was ever really that bad. You weren't, not that I'm aware of. No, you were never really that bad. Apart from that one time. Apart from the party.

The one time. Oh, I heard. We have spoken about it when someone did shit on the floor. Yeah, yeah, that was it, yeah. Yeah, and destroyed some of the doors and the wood frames and the picture frame. So, yeah, there was quite a lot of damage. So there was that one time where that was a big one.

It was as if he'd gathered it all up for that one night and just went, you know... No, but I did actually people in quite a lot. Yeah. It just wasn't like that. Yeah. Like, we did actually have the party house, like, we did actually. Yeah, but anyway...

One time we had a house party, actually, and my mum let them all in, and she woke, it was so bad. So you say we as in like you and your mom had to play? Oh yeah, my mom was dancing around the washing pole line in the garden at one point. She came into me in the morning and she went, Jessica, just to let you know, the car's been stolen. I was like, what do you know that voice? Can we just deal with the voice, that voice?

That voice is not my voice. Can everyone hear that? That is not my voice. Jessica, can we just steal? I've never spoke like that. Let's get that shit sorted now. The aggressive points. Because when I hear that, it really grates me.

I'm thinking, why does she do my voice like that, like some fairy? Anyway, she goes, the car's been stolen. I was like, what do you mean the car's been? So she went, but shush, but around near the fireplace, what they'd done is they came to the party, they stole the keys, and they came back that night to get the car off the drive. So I went to sleep with my car on the drive. Yeah, and then what they'd done, there was a bottle of champagne

that had been down the fireplace for, what, at that point, what, 22 years. No, I was fewer than that champagne when I went on a maternity leave with you. I know champagne probably doesn't age well, but she kept it there and she said that we could open it one day and just spray it whenever it would. Apparently, they were caught down at Bosworth Water Park,

which is a big water park like Strathclyde Park, spraying this bottle of champagne. They had no idea like the sentiment of it in my mum's Perjo 206 softard. Do you remember? Spray there. Urinating over the back seeds. And then somebody had all my car boot clothes

that I was trying to make money. I used to do car boots every sudden It was all in the boot And my friend messaged me I remember his name was Tom and went Jess I think you're Because mom had a private plate T444 pole

And it says He said I think your mum's car Is at Bozhy Water Park And lads of spain champagne all over It was a magnum sized bottle of Maui Awful

So yeah we've had some We've had some stories And I actually They approached me With a ransom to get my car back Yeah so they did That's what little shits they were Oh my god

Got around it some out Didn't we Gave it back yeah anyway your days yes so we did have house parties yes

so Suzanne quickly what's been on your thing yeah just back to the holiday probably because it was just so good

just the whole experience Sorrento Pompey Capri Positano just an incredible place did you like Pompey

I loved it actually and it was really so much more than I expected and really different I went beyond

everything I expected we just jumped the local train to get there as well and that was quite nice quite nice um my favorite part of that is capri yeah well do you know when we went to capri we did the boat trip and it was great and then as soon as we landed my friend said to me well we just get a boat trip round island and i thought oh we just got off a boat okay then so i just said yes if she wanted to do it we just did it that was fabulous that boat trip because you saw the whole island the caves just the the rocks coming out the water everything it was fantastic and then by the time we got back from that we just had to go for drinks and food

down at the harbour so we actually never made out of us yeah right so we asked our lovely listeners to ask us what questions we need to ask you about us it's still about us it's all about us all about you but we can if you stick around for our first bonus episode we can hear a little bit more about them possibly and your guys a lot on your plates so zoie you go well the thing is i did send these to my mum a sort of prep situation because she was requesting that and mum said she was getting emotional so do we want to start with an emotional one or do we not

yeah the first question i read it was quite a kind of nice one and it just made me fill up anyone that knows me knows i just cry for everything and um it's a complete opposite to me like i know and i said you know i don't know if i want to read these because i'm feeling a bit emotional and she said oh you can't do that on the podcast, just get it out now. And I was like, have you met me? I can't get it out now. It's never

ending. I mean, it's just, there's a constant supply available, so there's no, I'm not really run out. I'm not going to use it all up and I'll be fine for tomorrow. It's not going to happen. So I just I just said, I'm just going to wing it. And it's going to be gin tears as well, we're going to... Yeah, we'll just go for it. Go for it. The first

question. I did write a few of your mind down, because like you, if I didn't, I'd probably get all tongue-tied and choky and so I'm still might do that. We can just read it and... Yeah. Yeah, done. Well, the first question is, we'll ask you first, Mum, what have I done that you're most proud of?

I know there's a list as long, like, as anyone can imagine. But just choose one thing for today. Yeah. Something you've done or something you are, or can be a bit of both. Done. I'm going to, right, I'm going to, okay. So I think probably, you know, we've talked about the fact that you've gone unemployed.

But the reason, whether you've done that or not done that, the reason I'm so proud of the fact you've done it is because it was a brave thing to do. You weren't sure, you knew it was a risk, you were in a good job, and you had that security, and I'm proud of you for doing it because you took the risk and you believed in yourself. That's the reason.

They've been unemployed, been employed, doing whatever you want to do. It doesn't matter to me. It's just that you did it. You went for it. that's what I'm really most proud of off. Thanks, that's nice, ma'am. What about you, Paulie? Scripted.

I would say that, first and foremost, I'd say being the woman that she's turned out to be would be the first thing I would say. That's lovely. Because she is some woman. But to narrow it down for a few things, I think the popularity of being kind and warm-hearted, I'm really proud of that part of her

because she's kind. She's kind. And I watched her when ever we saw animals last week, she's just got a lovely way about her with people and things. And it doesn't matter what she's achieved for me. Yeah. I'm like that. I'm like, I just love that part of her.

It's very natural. She's very full on. I do love an animal. We can all love a little bitch about probably things and people on TV or whatever, but I can honestly say that she's got a kind thing to say about most people. You do see her good than everyone. She finds a good thing to say. So even if I'm saying something, bitch, you'll say, yeah, but mom and she'll really like correct.

And I like that part of her. Yeah. The part of her that's probably not in me, but I like that. So, yeah, I'm proud of like, like Suzanne Ann. proud of the career path that she's taken um i'm really proud that she achieved killy because i know that means a lot to her um oh you forget about that you know yeah so to coin a phrase and i will say it i'm proud of her for being just being jess oh like it that's nice just jess yes yes nice quite emotional isn't it was that was very good one well done and what's your favorite memory

with me mum so I think there's different ones and there's not really a specific event but I love to think back on when you were just probably about three four five years old and you had to I used to put your hair up in little like alien

buns up on top of your head and you just you know how you talk about how you hate when you scrunch up your face and your eyes all scrunch up they've always been like that but I think it's perfect but in a cute way I think it's really cute I think it's cute as well it's really cute you scrunch up and you're your little cheesy smile

and that hasn't really changed. Mum, that is when I look most like you. Except when you do that cheesy smile you do look exactly the same. That's the smile she tries not to do most of the time now because she tries to do this other controlled one which is quite... And I'll say, why you're doing that smile again?

Why are you doing that smile? Do you know what it is? Yeah. It's the one. It's my favourite smile of yours. She does this. does that? Yeah.

Like what I could do in that smile? Because she's got such a lovely smile when she does. You know, anyway. But then I think probably more recently as an adult a few years ago we went to Alcanti

and this was actually a trip that we arranged as a I still owe you New York for your 21st. Which by the way, she still owes me I still look. We're doing it next year

and there were lots of reasons why we didn't do it at the time. No, I know. I have spoken for that. But we decided we would do a little trip in between times just to kind of keep us in the mood so we went to alacanthi and that was really the first time we really had done anything substantial as adults together yeah and that was just a whole weekend like 1920 or something no because it was after you 21st oh night yeah so you

must have been about 22 because I think we went the year after your birthday we said let's do that in the meantime and we just had an amazing weekend didn't we yeah it was one of those ones where we went to the end of January and we were in like shorts and t-shirts and buying sun tan cream urgently and all the Spaniards were walking about in puffer coats and all sorts of things. But it was roasted. It was really warm. We just had a fabulous weekend together and having drinks and just sitting at the harbour side didn't me and it was just such a lovely time. And we always kind of say like remember like when we did that now I can't you know when you can't relate back to it. We went there and it was amazing. So that's

probably one of my favourite memories. Aw. What about you, Polly? I was sitting this morning trying to think about a bit like yours beginning and end so my favourite memory is I've got two that stand out for me more than anything and the first one and this is where I might get emotional is the week she was born

and I remember very clearly the naked baby on my holding her like perhaps nursing her but Mariah McKee and I don't even know if she's Scottish with a name like that. But she brought a song out that was number one in the charts.

Show me have a girl over me. Give me breathless. And I used to dance around the lounge with this little baby and like just feeling her on my skin. I was a cute little baby as well to be fair. And I just, I can still remember that feeling. I can still feel her there now.

Oh. So that's like one of my earliest. And it is the cutest thing. I'm a tank now. You want me able to pick me on? So, like, I have that as a very vivid... Do you know when you talk about it quite often on these shows about that, being in the moment?

Yeah, the present moment, like, what you can feel, what you can smell. And, like, just look at my skin now, thinking of that, I go goosebumps. Because it was my little baby, a week old. And, yeah, so that song and that moment and that memory is just the best. And then to add to that, in contrast... I think I know what's coming because it's just contrast. We had a week in Ibiza together and we did have some laughs. So if you look on, I don't think she posted this on her page,

but I have a picture which I will share with you, which you can share with the listeners. Please. We obviously shared a hotel room and we had the Ibitha Concierge company organise our trip. It was fantastic. Yeah, he's amazing. I'm going to say Usher, but I know that's not right. Ashwire, everyone. And so she got me raving.

The Calvin Harris. Yeah, it was fantastic. Well, I've written one down because I didn't, I couldn't think of many. I mean, we had a good life together, me and her. I enjoyed, I enjoyed her mates and everything coming around. But I'm going to go for a bit younger than that. So probably between four to say eight years of age. She was a bloody nightmare when you were on the phone.

I was! On the phone. Mom, Mom, who's that? Who's that, who's that, mum? I'm like, go away. No, no, no, tell me who it is. Tell me who it is. I actually remember being like that, and I remember being so, I couldn't bear my mum going in a bedroom and her speaking to someone I not knowing who it was.

Oh, you're not being involved in the conversation? Yeah, I couldn't bear it. I always remember being on, and I actually remember that for years. It was so good taste in. Like, even if you tried to put the rule in, no, do not interrupt me when I'm on the phone. Relentless, honestly, she was relentless until you told me. Mother? You know, you weren't, you just weren't.

I mean, I really would love to come up with something that could really be horrible, but what's funny is, people think with the way I am just now that I would have been a little shit when I was younger. But you just weren't. Do you know the thing that I found annoying probably latterly? Well, not maybe, not as a grown-up, but

just when we were at that age where when my last relationship and he had a different approach to discipline than I did and I was probably a lot more chilled and I think I used to hate it and it only happened a couple of where you would say, I'm going to my dad's.

Yeah. And she would, and she did. And she went to her dad's. And I hated that because it was like, that was hard. Yeah. Oh. I do say the most least emotional question. She's crying, by the way.

It's going to know anything like you and I'm trying. And I'm crying because I'm a bit of emotional. And I get tears from laughter. also bearing in mind mom and dad are like weirdly best pals so like it wasn't like we do that I know it because we do got on so well this is like therapy so it's not like I was going there my dad would be take your side I know he probably would he would would phone me up about it and we'd be like what's going on here we know because we do go on really well but that was hard next question what similarities do you see between us and you

I'll get my mum and manage to get my thoughts I'll just keep drinking my gin I think I'm not fantastic at bigging myself up but I would say that she definitely takes after me for her kindness and her thoughtfulness I think she gets up from me you're very

I hate this phrase selfless because I don't like people that are selfless but you are that way but to the point where it's actually become sort of like your bad trait I think you know that now yeah I do yeah she puts everyone before her except herself and that is the problem in so many things I would say that was the thing that

we're similar on whereas Jessica's got the balance on it. Kind of kind of yeah and I'd say that the banter side and the party side is definitely her dad. I'd say that the more serious side is me out of

the parents so it's not a bad thing but I'd say she gets that that bantery party animal part from her father I think we'd really like actually personality wise um probably resilience were just kind of just got on with it yeah i think i've kind of brought up my kids to be a bit like that as well just get up going with it you know just keep going yeah i really have little sympathy with people who can't just and i don't mean in serious

situations obviously but like come on you all right now just just no you know don't let anything put you down just go on with it just rise above it yeah just just keep going um but I do think we're really similar. And what about if we weren't called Jess and Zoe? If that wasn't our names, what would you call us? You're going to feel like this. So I actually, I thought that was just a jokey question. So I was going to say, like, hod it and dodd it.

But did you have any other baby names? Yeah, so that's what Zoe then said to me, no, we actually mean what was she supposed to be called. So she would have been called Olivia. Oh, that's nice. Well, I had two actually. I think it was probably Olivia at that point in time. What was I, mother?

So in the day, back in the day, there was no, you couldn't actually know what sex of the baby you were having. So only in special circumstances. So you convince yourself what you were having. So I actually, throughout my entire pregnancy, was having a boy. You basically have. And I seriously wanted a boy. And my bump was called JJ. So he was going to be Joshua James.

and so yeah he was going to be a boy and then obviously day of birth it comes out a girl I'm like holy god it's a girl but my grandma was called jesse and I wanted her to be called jesse after my grandma but because we live in lester and people a bit like parts of Scotland where you know this sort of slang it would have been jesse so I didn't want her to be called jesse so my mom's always called me jessica I never ever called Jess. The only person in my whole life that called me Jess was my friends and my dad. Everyone else called me my family, Jessica.

Yeah, I don't like shortening names very much. What do you wish you passed on to us that hasn't happened? I think confidence. Oh. I don't, yeah. I don't, I, self-belief and confidence. As a young person, I was quite similar to Zoe and always, you know, full of a lot of self-doubt

and just kind of lacking in confidence and she shouldn't feel that way and I really wish I could instill that in her because she's amazing. She is amazing. You think you are. Aw. That's nice, Mom, thanks.

I agree with that. You do thank the sandshade. She doesn't know what? So she should. I thought she was going to go And I feel the same It would know I would say that

I haven't had a week with her I know what this is going to do And this is definitely Definitely something that I would love For her to change about herself Is to drive And put her phone into the Bluetooth And not have her phone in her hand and drive

I'm not really sure We're allowed to say it happens You might cut this out but it's relevant. But the nerves, that gives me... I wouldn't say I put my phone in my hand at all on this trip, though. Oh, it's just the map. I'm just checking where we're going.

There's a bloody slap nerve. No, but what it was, Mum, is because I had it all mapped out. I was like, I just don't give. I'm the passenger in that car. And you're looking and looking and looking and looking. And I'm like, no. There's a Bluetooth. I asked her that many times to do this.

And that many times, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really well. I'm really low on battery. No, please. Well, I never said that. No, on battery. I didn't have any charge in the car. So, yeah, if I could pass anything on to her,

it would be don't drive without Bluetooth. I don't, I don't, when it's my car, Mom. But this wasn't my car. No, the facility. It said Jessie's iPhone. You connected your phone to your music. Likewise, I put yours in, too. This is a proper debate.

But I really, it gives me nerves. And do you know when she leaves? You're not a good job, Bridgett. She said I was brilliant. we're on one track roads what I will say is and there's a mom she leaves Leicester to get back

to Scotland and I have fear I are constantly worry about her in her car conducting her business while she's driving like please if I could take Mom this whole bit is going to get cut anyway

so you might be shut up anyway that one thing but to make it positive which I genuinely thought you were going to say the OCD About me Passing that on to you

I would give that to anyone No but how untidy I am Well yeah but I honestly thought that's what you would say We can say that as well But I would say that There's nothing She's way up front on every level

Than me I was a slow slaster on everything So for me Fashion everything She's got it But wasn't it What you wish Yeah but your mum

I don't need to pass anything on to you because you know it. I wish I had your cleanliness there. You've answered. I went to your... I wish I had your... Tidiness. I wish I had your organisation. I think it would have come to mine.

It would have come to mine. It would have my first thing if I lived with her. No, not good. It's on point. My timekeeping is on point. No. My time... I know. My punctuation is shot to shit.

It is shot to shit. I want to change. I mean, I'm not actually the best of that either. My mum is more on your level. Yeah. Like, her half an hour, three hours, but... Yeah, I'm bad. And I have you both on Find My Friends,

which is so helpful to my life. Because you've left, but you've not. I also know that you're where you are. Sometimes I leave my phone behind if I don't know, if I don't want you, know where I'm. I take my work phone instead. Oh, the secrets are coming out! Where do you go that I can't know where you are?

I went in a date once and I thought, I just don't... it was a daytime once I knew I was safe and she does it so that she knows I'm safe I think primarily it's actually for safety I don't know that I do that I do know that but on this occasion

I'll never do it again I promise I only did it this once I'll never do it again because A all my my Apple pay was on my phone and when I then tried to

pay for something it then wanted to send I know to my it was my train ticket where I wanted to buy my train ticket. I couldn't because it was wanting to send a notification to my app on my phone to confirm the payment. It was a £4 train ticket and my app was on my phone which I'd left in the house and instantly I just thought this is a disaster. I'm actually a disaster.

And I mean I don't just sit looking at it either all day. It's only really when it's relevant. I just thought she's going to ask me why I was in town and who I was with and I just don't know what to talk about it. You tell me every other time. I know, I know. I've told you about it since. Are you fully single at the moment? Yeah. Do anyone on listening and got any single dads

that want to hook them up with Suzanne we could use this as a bit of a dating show. I know, but only if... She's an actual catch by the way. I know and think about... I'm not trying to make this about me, but... Oh, fuck off, I don't know that you can be.

No, but these listers need to think about me in this situation as well. Like, only if your dad is like sound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, they're not going to recommend a movie as an absolute knob. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, based in Scotland would be ideal, please Well, yeah, definitely Yeah But also she doesn't mind if he's really into something That means he's only in the country Maybe like once or twice a month Yeah, like a golfer for example It's ideal because they'll go away for the whole Saturday

Because I'm quite a busy person And I've got a own social life going on So I don't really want someone that's there All the time because that would just be really annoying Yeah Yeah I think this is a great idea Send in your dads

DILFW Can I just say one provisal? Yeah. They have to be single. Yes. Because. Not married to you, mum. Yeah.

That wouldn't be ideal. When I was in Sorrento, I had a little bit of attention from two waiters. One of them was just a waiter guy. But the other one was actually the head kind of waiter guy at the hotel. Mm-hmm. So every day we were, by the pool, we would get loads of little snacks brought out to us and all of that. And we were in this really lovely bar one night. And the next day we were up in the,

the rooftop bar and he said to me oh I saw you in the square last night I said oh did it um and I said oh why don't you you should have said something he said oh yeah I didn't you know I don't know and he said um oh you should have come and we could have joined on with us had a drink or something like that um and then he said um I didn't um I would have I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me on my scooter and I would have taken you out to Potitano so you could see the lights at night. And did you?

No, he was married. Oh! I said to my you, looked it up in my dualingo to see her you married, you know? And he said it. And he said, yeah, and I was like, well, no then. What's the most embarrassing thing

about us that you know, but we don't know that you know it? Here we go. I don't think it's an embarrassing thing. It's just the fact that, you know, I think when it comes to set, right I had this naive notion that you were still not there yet but my friends who well I mean it was a while ago now but the ceiling lights said otherwise yeah no it was just

more of the fact that I know I did and you know and I was speaking to my friends who you know they're so he has as friends with their daughter and so same age yeah yeah and um we talk about these things and she was saying what was when I was like no he's always like she doesn't like boys and she was like are you actually having a laugh and I said no I'm sure she's not it's like she's can I just also point out at this point I was going out with a boy and had been for I think about four or five years I know but I just had this naive notion that she still didn't like boys yeah yeah so that's just so so so so then I kind of she I'm like my friend kind of you know the realisation setting that I probably was

been really naive and you did ask me at that point and then you lied I think you went no no I didn't I know exactly what I said I said I'm not having this conversation for one and two I have been with whoever it was

for however long so that was kind of like take what you were yeah because I think what I was saying she was if you are do are you doing you okay It's like the moment I mean he was like you want a condo You're like do you need

I mean do you know And you were just like We don't need It's fine mum We don't need to have this conversation And that was that was over We could never discuss it again Hmm

Where's your list Oh no no I don't need a list for this one So We don't have to go back that far Because this was during COVID I came up at the time

when Richard and Jessica were moving house Oh God And I know what this is Do you know I'm not even that embarrassed because No because I haven't listened to all these episodes of the podcast Oh you know you listen

This girl will not be embarrassed No But I was embarrassed So Jessica and Richard had gone away And I had the luxury Of looking after their flat While they were away

They didn't have cats then But I was just there for a few days and I was helping with re-organising the kitchen, etc. And doing all these jobs. Do my OCD bits, which Jessica does love off. And then I don't know what I was looking for. And quite wrongly, I went into Jessica's bedside drawer. Oh, sure.

And I opened this drawing. You found my little special box. I thought, what the hell is that? And there was all these things staring at me. And I have never seen anything like it in my life. Yeah. There's a right selection. in there.

Trickery, like you wouldn't believe. No, Anne Summers has got nothing on this straw. What I say, though, they're all fucking layered with dust. So I'm not bothered that you saw it. There might be one that's not. Does she not wash those? The special golden dildo

was fresh out of Glen Eagles hotel room. So when I looked at them, I'm thinking, oh, she's having a good time. I'm not even bothered about that. No, I didn't think you. would be. But I was. For weeks it traumatised me. Your vibrator used to go off in your bedroom when I was a kid and she had the wooden floor in her bedroom and he used to go brrrr and all my friends

he said like, what's that noise? What and what do you say your types are? What's your type on paper? So, so for me and I know my husband's never going to listen to this so that's good. I always had a type and my ideal sort of star type you know the poster on the bedroom wall would have been John Travolta just hands down John Travolta just think

there's something about his aura I just think he's amazing so yeah he's my type kind of like yeah to look at I like the bigger chunky type guy mainly dark head men tall dark handsome type man gee

she just winked it to you across the room can we just say but yeah giving it away everyone thinks you short fat with a beard but actually

what's ironic is that Jessica's dad is tall but blonde and my husband is average eye and blonde so I didn't have

my type I didn't actually marry my type I think there's something about that though yeah like because I think

but now like Stormers in I've married I'm married I mean I'm basically with him yeah that's I think you've got like

your type that like you're never going to be with storms they like sorry to speak for you it's going to burst your bubble there but so you've kind of get your type there

John Travolta's weird out there's an opportunity there yeah there's not you no rumour has it but no no I'll never accept that

he's not really me neither me neither I've got a friend for life yeah she like that Travelda oh yeah Yeah.

Woo-ho! Yeah. It's just, it's so lovely, personality-wise. It's amazing. And what about you, mum? I mean, I just do not have a type when you think to my

sort of three main relationships in life. They're all completely different, looks-wise, and their roles in whatever. I think I just like someone who, definitely someone who makes me laugh and who will talk to me. I need to have someone that can actually talk to

to and have conversations with. and that would that wants to it's maybe quite driven I think I've always been the driver in a relationship and I always wanted I was always about kind of

oh you do it you do I want someone to say let's do this and for me to say okay yeah and then make the suggestions and you know go with it looks wise I think just I always look at someone because I'm on a couple of dating sites

right and I just I think I'm maybe better in person I'm not sure the dating site thing I just don't know if it really works for me but I mean someone will message you saying hi lovely and you just won't apply to them because that's put you off. I do look at the photos and I look at their background and their living room and their sofa and I'm... That is literally you Zoe.

Yeah, I'm just not sure that's going to be a match and, you know, I just... So someone, I do look for kind eyes. I look for kindness. You always say that. I always say look for, you know, I'll zoom in in their eyes, I think. Oh, that's cute. Kind eyes because I think that can say a lot sometimes. So yeah, it's a hard one. I'm open to suggestions.

Lovely answer. And then there's me and Zoe that just look at guys' footwear. Oh, absolutely. If they've got nice trainers, then they're in. If they're out. Shallow. I know, we shallow. Right, let's end on our final one.

What do you wish for us both in life? Well, I'll go first. To just go for it. Just never, just don't hesitate. Live your life. Grab every opportunity. you know it's that thing whatever the saying is don't regret the things well you don't do

whatever it is you know the thing just really just go for it be happy live your life to the full and experience and I think you're already doing a lot of that a lot more than I did at your age and I'm probably doing more of it now than I did when I was younger as well just saying yeah I'm going to book that holiday

yeah I'm going to do it and obviously we've all got limits but just go for it just go for it and live your life and just don't regret it. Yep. And I'll do just that. Absolutely. Mother. Yeah. Yeah. More or less mirroring all of that. I would say that your health and your happiness is of paramount importance at the top there. I will say that I would like Jessica to experience motherhood.

I knew it was born in a car. Her two hands were on her head as she answered that question. And the reason I say is because when you can. get old, what event anyone to look after you when you're old? Get stoffed. I've got loads of mates. So, no, no. I mean, yeah, okay, sounds selfish, but I

think if she could experience that Mariah Carey moment, like I did. Or was it Mariah Carey? Mariah McKee, sorry. Yeah, you never know. Maybe one day. So that's the selfish one, but yeah. Yeah. Well, that was pretty lovely.

Thank you so much for coming on to our podcast. Thank you for having us. I feel like I'll ease up a bit halfway through there. The nerves still there. I'll have cried once. That was good for me. That was really good for you. Really good for you.

I feel like we could have flipped the switch and asked you loads of questions about your life. But we can maybe ask a couple in the bonus episode. If you guys stay tuned for that on Friday, our first one yet of the season. We're so excited. Yeah, the ladies will be back with us. It's a good or bad thing, I'm not sure.

But they're going to be here to answer all of you a lot on your plate. It's going to be a nice quick, so please stay tuned keep reviewing us keep sharing the love thank you so much say bye ladies bye thank you for having us

I was so polite she sounds waving on a podcast bye guys bye bye bye