A Lot On Your Plate - S4 Ep1: Back, Bigger & Better

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Welcome back piggies! We can’t believe we’re on to season 4, who would have thought?? We’re so excited to be back, bigger and better than ever before ahhhhh. If you'd like to watch and listen, you can now find our main episode in full video on YouTube and if you want some extra tea, sign up to our Patreon for our weekly side dish episode (available this Friday - 16.02)! Enjoy🐷 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday Poppiggies! We are back, we are bigger and better than ever before. Are you excited? Back for season four with a big fat bang. We have a new studio, new team and a whole fresh new look. I cannot actually cope with what we're sat in right now. Can you, Zoe? No, I can't. It's actually better than my humble abode at home. Same. I said to the guys, I said this is going to be my new second home. I simply can't wait.

I just think we'll be here all the time. Mm-hmm. And as you can probably tell, if you're... you're watching us on YouTube, we're now having our full videos so you can watch our lovely little faces. I'm looking at you right now. I know it's... It's a very professional set up and I'm actually quite stressed at being videoed for that period of time. A long period of time at all angles as well. Yeah, I know. I'm like, I'm sitting like I'm a statue because I want to look quite attractive. We've ensured that we're both on our better sides. Although we did have a little

run through and looked at our look at us back and it was quite hideous but you know we're gonna go with this. I just feel like it's got to the point that people see us in real life now. There's no point pretending I'm a supermodel when I'm not. You absolutely are. I'm five foot three and I've got a really round face. Do you what I mean? So there's, it can only get so good. And we've got so, so so so so so so so much to catch you up on. So much. Like we we do deeply apologize for how long it's taken us to come back what we thought we would come back day before valentines galantines give the girlies what they want give you a bit of love from us you know and the boysies we can't forget the boysies we do have some boysies we do have some boysies we do have some boisees so yeah we

apologize for the delay but we had a fantastic Christmas new year talking about it just gives us the it no point it's over it's been gone done we're cool for the next one they are the past one you know live shows are a success maybe we've got more things coming up maybe we do maybe we don't so with our new gorgeous setup you'll definitely be seeing more TikToks, Instagram clips you're going to be sick of seeing our faces every single week just a bit more like behind the scenes shite that no one really asked for but we'll give you it anyway absolutely we cannot wait

so we hope you missed us and we're going to be in for a ride for season 4 we've got so much to come exciting guests just come some events perhaps and I just can people let us know if like a studio set up as much as us. Zoe, I don't understand how you could not love it. It's just simply perfect. We're sat on these, how'd you say it? Bucle.

Bucle. Bouchle. Bishle. So is from Sterling home. Nice armchairs. And we do actually have some footstals as well, but maybe we'll put them into another episode and a whole sofa

that our manager, Becky, is sat on right now. Can you get a, oh, o'oy? Oh, yeah. So yeah, we've got a new management as well, everybody, the lovely Becky. We are now signed to thread talent. Very professional. And we will definitely introduce you to our new production team, but maybe we'll save that for side dish. Oh, leaving the goss for side dish.

Speaking of side dish, we do have to give you an update. It's going forever, kind of. I just had to tease you, you know. We're basically going to be introducing a Patreon service. that we would call it a subscription. Yep, big time. However, what we've got to call them? Patreon Piggy's. Patreon Pod Piggies. The three PPP, PPP. PPP. It's like when you get that phone call because you've not actually crashed your car, but I think you have, what's that called? PCP. No, it's not. Oh. Anyway, yeah, so we're going to be offering this new service

and included in that will be the side dish bonus episodes. Yeah. So you get at four? Four a month. Yeah. Full video of that. Yep. Monthly specials, for example, some maybe like vlog style content.

Q&A's. Anything that you want to see with. Q&A's, an active group chat, which we will be in. Definitely. We love a group chat. We love a group.

See when there's a new group chat, everyone's birthday. Can we not just use the ones from preview? That really bothers me. That stresses me out. But people leave them. I'm going to be getting people, I'm going to be what in the piggyes in the archive if they carry on.

Like, we can't, it can't annoy me. So it needs to be part. popping off and good gossip good chat no like moaning and groaning they're not here for that no I mean that's quite savage but you know what we're like moaning and groaning well like moaning about things is that not what you say moaning and groaning it's not making it sexual and it's not there's nothing sexual about that absolutely nothing and exclusive early access tickets for events that we may be doing and discount codes

all lengths to things. We're going to try our best to get as many discount codes as possible. And we've been having a little look around and we wanted to make sure that with the cost of living crisis. And we wanted to make sure that this was the most affordable,

probably the best one you're ever going to get price. It's going to be less than a coffee a month. And in return, this is going to be like a natural progression for our podcast. A lot of people do do it and it's a way to get better guests on.

It's enabled us to have an incredible new studio provide you with all this wonderful video footage. And we just want it to keep growing and getting naturally better and with that and your guy's support which we really appreciate that's the only way we can move forward and get some amazing people on and get you amazing discount codes and put on amazing events as well because i'm telling you right now with this new self-employed life seven months later i keep saying it's new yeah i'm no paying for this myself no zoie i'm just letting you all know that fair and square we've worked for free for two years

it can't happen anymore exhaustion takes over no we're kidding anyway speaking of events yes what we're doing what we're doing now there's just so much to update you on I'm actually overwhelmed myself so I hope you're still here and listening to this anyway we are going to be doing an event

in March more details to follow with one of our favourite places to go in Glasgow for dinner ghost ghost ghost and we would like to come join us basically yeah it's going to be it's going to be boozy

we'll give you a small insight it's like boozy brunch vibes yeah Paddy's weekend as well yep and it's St Paddy's weekend so you know what that means carnage I would say anyway

to get access to this we will be given first access first access we will be given to our Patreon pigs so if that's not encouragement I don't know what is so

limited numbers which is why we've chosen to do it this way So if we see you there, we'll see you there. Very limited numbers. Very exciting. Yeah. We need to decide really what we're going to do and what you're going to eat.

But we've got so many wonderful ideas up us, Steve, and we can't wait. To see you again. Absolutely. We'll need to get... We're wearing costumes this time because I can't go through the outfit stress ever again. Costs too much. We'll need to get costumes so that we don't need to look for outfits. Okay.

Interesting. Do you not think? Yeah. I'm up for that. I'm up for anything. You know me. Sorry guys, I've got a bit of a back at the moment. I'm trying to, like, an old lady.

We've got like an invalid to you. Right, anyway, what's been a lot on your plate? First of all, we've got our first bit and swallow of the season. Just bringing this box in. We can't make sure, we can't make sure we cannot drop any of this on our beautiful cream cipher. It is stressing me out slightly. But let's open this. Show the camera, please.

A mash-up from non-a-scent. Also, guys, can we just say that our main episode is now on YouTube, so you don't have to be a Patreon member to see what we are seeing right now. So get on YouTube and see this, well, we've actually put loads of things in a box right now. Yeah, because we wanted to try about everything that we got. So what we got was a margarita, obviously, you can't not, right? You need please everyone. You can't beat it.

You can't beat it. Salt and chili chicken pizza. Oh. A lasagna pizza. Stop it. Fried... These were my pickles. Fried pickles guys.

Try one of them. Can I bite into the mic? Food porn. Oh you fuck are. Oh my god, that is so good. And you know what else we just had to get, which I've tried already soon. You need to try it? What?

The cheesy smiley faces. Yeah, I didn't try them a minute ago. On you go then, sister. Alright then. let's get right in a bit of that I'm going to try the salt and jelly me and Zoe actually tried to put headphones on a minute ago if anyone doesn't know why people

podcasts wear headphones it's so you can actually hear what you sound like on a microphone and we understand why you now get triggered by the what's that one you're using there salt and jelly pizza is on new Like a Chinese pizza. Mmm. Smiley faces, you can't be eating some kind of...

What do you call them? Kuntil dinners. Why can't I say that? Kunsel. Kuntil. Kuntil dinners. A kunzel dinner. I just call it a beige dinner.

I think you need to try the salt and chili, chicken one please. It's this one? Mm-hmm. You mean? Oh my god. I think that's great. Did you guys try this? You're good.

I'm sorry, there's about five breadinis on there. Spicer. Mmm. Guys, simply gorgeous. None of said, get yourself there. Mmm. That's really good. We'll go back to that later.

Mm-hmm. Would you care for a napkin? Mm-hmm. Thank you, Jim. It's really gorgeous. Right. My mouth's feel, I can't talk, sorry. I'll talk.

You'll tell me what you've been at, well, it's been a lot on your plate, physically first. Oh my God, guys. So this is one of those things that means how we're discussing, like what hell? do we tell you guys what we've eaten because it's been a few months so we thought we'd do like a standout thing that i've that i've been to um and recently well actually the weekend after the live shows i went to london with a few friends and i booked lpm which is a restaurant in mayfair very posh i was a little bit apprehensive to you know what i've said about white tablecloth restaurants i thought i can't be asked with them they're a bit too intent you know but i'd

heard great things and it's french and it's not really in the type of cuisine that I would probably choose. Anyway, went there. There is snails on the menu, Ratatouille, creme brulele, dough for more potatoes. And when I say it was one of the best

meals, and surprisingly not as expensive as I thought, considering it's French and in Mayfair, was honestly one of the best and tasties meals I've had in a long, long time. I know there's one in Dubai as well. But yeah, if I recommend a really like, well, nice restaurant to go

do that's a bit of a treat definitely check out LPM because it was beautiful it's actually called LPM was your name couldn't tell you I don't know if it must be short for something but L yeah LPM truly bloody gorgeous so that was my standout and then I was actually thinking of somewhere in Glasgow and I think we might have mentioned them before but kudos kudos on in Finiston brunch place where recently guys the asai bowl is unbeaten and I swear to God, it was even better than the first time I had it. Service is amazing. The people there are gorgeous. The offerings on the brunch menu are amazing. I think I said last time that it wasn't

the best place I'd went for brunch, but the Asai Bowl was great. And I still continued to have the Asiabal. But the other options that were coming out, I don't know, it just looked so flipping good. Yeah, I'll eat try that. Yeah, you should. So yeah, that was my two recommendations. Lovely. And emotionally, Jesus, guys, like, there's been a lot going on. Not all fun stuff. I'm not going to lie. There's been quite a lot of things going on in our lives, isn't there? But lots of change and we can probably discuss it more in future episodes, but there's been some sad news, some good news, there's been some changes at home. But, you know, we get in there. We move through it, through life and all these things happen for a reason, don't they? And

it's, yeah, new things are happening. Just card it to a building. Exactly. But yeah, we can definitely talk about that in the future. We wanted this, uh, this episode to be a bit positive. Positive. Positive. Positive vibes. Yeah, here. What about you? Fucking all right.

Here we go. Here we go. Physically, I would say a standout item of edibles that I have enjoyed recently is the corn ribs from Capow. Oh. I had them just before Christmas and I just can't stop thinking about them. And it's the sauce that's on them. I mean, I love sweet.

corn anyway. It's like a peanut sauce, isn't it? Well, this was like a lime and, um, coconut. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. But they were unreal. Yeah, they're amazing. Have you not had them before then? Well, I know we've been a couple of times, but I don't think, you know, the menu sometimes changes. I feel like the corn ribs have been a staple though. They may be had, but I must have never had them before. Amazing. But I was, I was quite blown away by them. Yeah. So I would say that's Probably physically. Emotionally, I'm just absolute drunt. You are.

By the way, I've had so many people keep messaging me like, is there available to table thousand to be? And I'm like, yeah, no problem at all. Yeah, you've too much. No time to do. You need an assistant. I know I do. So if anyone out there wants to work for Zosow,

maybe don't flurder in box, please. Good fucking luck, if you do. It's all I'm seeing. but I genuinely do think you need forget all that shit I said that time about being impatient and tolerant and all those negatives

I can actually be quite a good time I know no one will ever want to work with me ever again no I do think you should Zoe definitely I think just you know a wee part-time assistance would like I don't mean an assistant

as in like go get my coffee I mean like help me help me I'm poor you know what I mean this was always going to be the natural progression that you're good at your job and you've got some amazing in brands and people on your books, if you like.

So it's almost going to happen. Clientale. But I just think, yeah, you need some help with that, don't you? Yeah, I just feel we've been quiet on the podcast front, but everything else, Jesus. Well, that's not what I mean. Now we're back and better than ever. You're going to be crazy. Chris, I always say this to people, I can't remember, I still remember, obviously,

when you'd come and do a podcast at 7 p.m. Every freaking Tuesday after. That was that, that was absolutely trash. magic when you think back. I know. And I just can't believe people still listen after that period of time.

Good times. Good times, guys. I was exhausted. But I actually think I'm more exhausted now. But we were away there and we were laughing about all of us just saying that does everyone just CBA

doing anything in life? Yeah, we were saying this as we can. Like, nobody can be arched anymore. It's just a big shift in everyone that just can't be fucked. Like, if you actually read mine and Zoe's chat, all we say to each other is, what now?

Or I can't be. fucking asked. Just like B, B, A and catholic layers to everything. It's like, can you do this? CBA. Neither one could be asked to get dressed. Because like, what are you wearing? I was like, don't know, can't be asked. I'm like, what do you mean? I just can't be asked to get dressed. Like, neither of us. But we're not about that.

New year, new us. I feel we have started on a high, I would say. Oh, yeah, guys. I feel our routines being better. We're in our fitness, which we'll speak about more because Jess, obviously, that's her personality trait now. It's all I hear, see, breathe. It's exhausting.

And I just think we're absolutely sleigh, slay, slay. We do slay the day. So guys, I'm a fitness queen now, if you hadn't heard or seen on TikTok and Instagram. And what we were pissing ourselves at is the amount of times we've mown that we're fat, unable. Just quickly, just quickly, before we went at the pause, what was this? Still fat. However, can you on. Still fat, shattered.

But we are actually doing the things we said. And when I said it on the podcast, it was where I said, it was a bonus, wasn't it? side of the episode and I said that is it I'm sick of saying it I want to have performance goals and if you guys remember actually I've not told a lot of you poppigies but I did high rocks

if you went to the live show you would have known but it was the week after the live show wasn't it or the week before weekend four oh it was weekend for in Sweden guys it was hell enough it was really fucking hard Richard made it a complete and utter competition with another couple

at the same time and it was really tough however I did it and for some reason I decided to then book it again. Why not here? Just two weeks ago, Manchester, and we decided to book women's pro doubles, which is the same boring chat, but the same weights as the one I did with Richard, so it's heavy as fuck, right?

Anyway, I did it, and since November the 1st, I have been a consistent fitness queen, and I have been seeing performance goals. I completed a hierarchy for a start, booked another one, booked a half marathon, which I think the poppins, the podpiggies already know that so that's in like four weeks time in inverness god bless and you're going to walk back at the moment so that's broken back this morning i've got

numerous 5kps by doing part run and i just feel so much better like the fact that i'm no longer striving for this aesthetic weight loss that i've been trying to achieve for 33 years and it's never happened i think just using that shift in my mindset of saying i'm actually going to work out for my mind for my health and I'm actually going to try and achieve some goals that are realistic and sense of right I'm going to try and beat 20 seconds off this time yeah something that I've never ever even been bothered to look at or consider Richard in the meantime has also started a track session up at ravens craig and he does that every Tuesday Tuesday sorry Monday and Thursday and he's now got like 50 60 members in the group chat so any

podpigers that want to join you are more than welcome to come along message Richard for details but he does track sessions which really helps us improve our running our general fitness so he comes along as well she's been to a few hated every second of it

but I absolutely can't stand it but I'm trying my best we ran 7K together we did and it was hell but how good did you feel after you did it yeah good but

like good apart of the fact I'd hardly fucking breathe because this is the thing we're starting at we're starting at a hard time of year yeah let's put that out there the first one it was actually icing

yeah it was ice cold so I'm quite a wheezy breathless person at the best of time so I ran three steps and was like you were easy so that didn't help and I ran with her the whole time can I say didn't you decide the 7k yeah the other day we ran together which was helpful because I'm the mind's not the mind's not there for me like look let's just be honest about it I'm six years behind Jess I'm still doing it for aesthetics yeah I've not got to that like mature mind it I just want to be a skinny bitch yeah I don't care how I become the skinny bitch I just want to be one so there's that however I'm trying to change that

best I can yeah we're not there yet I'm trying to drill it into her head but she's having it because I know it comes hand in hand absolutely but I've definitely just just a training and feeling looser for sure loosey goosey but do you know the problem is when you're training for this high rots because I know a lot of the poppigers listen to this there's high rocks Glasgow's in three weeks and I feel like every motherfucker is doing it that's into like fitness and it's going to be intense and I do feel like

you have to eat so much food to do this style of training because it's just it's basically a runner's workout for a start and it's just very intense stuff in between the 8K and for you to actually perform better you just need to eat carbs carbs carbs which is fantastic for me

because I bloody love a cab but I just think that in that sense that yeah I'm definitely losing the weight but it's just taking a little bit longer which is fine for me. Good on, you're in, absolutely. So that's the update on the fitness front.

So if anyone does want to join, come along. Might see Zoso wheezing along with us, but you're getting better. I mean, baby steps. And that's another thing as well, I will say. You know when people say to you constantly like, you see it on TikToks, everyone's into running at the minute, aren't they, on TikTok? And they say things like, consistency is key, it gets easier. And I'm like, does it fuck?

Does it fuck? I've never been like, no, it doesn't. And I probably ran like two, five Ks in my whole entire life. I'm like, no, it doesn't. But I can hand on heart tell you now. I ran, I don't know, what was it the other day? 11K. Something tragic.

And I thought, no way will I be able to do that. And I was absolutely fine. And I think I am actually getting fitter. I do. I can definitely get to a point in running and you all read. You feel the most fucked you're going to feel. So it's quite, you can kind of keep going to just at that fucked feeling. You know what I mean?

Yeah. By that. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I feel like my biggest life change and that this is a really severe one. And everyone should tune in right this second for this. I know, here we go. And I read. Can you believe it?

I have read two and a half books this year. More I've ever read them my whole entire lifetime. You read two in January, didn't you? Yeah. I read two in like the first three weeks of January. Which I just think is a huge achievement. Right, tell us what you've read that. person like me. Anyway, I read the first one was seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo.

Which I think helped because I started on a severe high so I just wanted to know, I wanted to know, I mean, spoiler alert, right? I needed to know the connection between the writer and Evelyn. Yeah. So I had to keep reading that to find out because I was doing my tits in. And can I just say, you will never guess. Like no one reading that book? No, you would never guess. And there's nobody that read that book that would have known the answer. No way. Not a single person. No. Then I read Verity.

Great book. Which I think's a close contender. I think Verity actually might be better. I'm not sure. No, I disagree. But it was strongly disagree. It was, if it's not the same, it's one point apart. I think the thing with Verity, right, again, spoiler alert,

I feel like I kind of knew what the outcome was going to be. I wasn't that shocked. I was like, okay, you've been gearing us up for that to be the ending anyway. But that was the first plot. That was the first twist. But then there was a second twist. However, I don't know if that was necessary. Yeah.

But I still really enjoyed the book. I think I read that one quicker than the first one. I think, is it Colleen Hoover? I feel like her books are quite an easy read, aren't they? Yeah. A bit for the beginners. Yeah, beginner level, like easy read, yeah. But now I'm reading, um...

I can't remember one. upstairs or something? Family upstairs. Girls who disappeared or... Yeah. There's loads of books like that in there. Something like that. I don't know. But I'm not really... I'm not finding myself reaching for that, do you know what I mean? It's on my bedside and I kind of give it the side down and I think, fuck it, TikTok's better. So I think I need to get another book because I don't think that one's doing it for me.

And I don't want to lose my interest on the video. You try and keep it up. Some books are harder to get into. No, I won't not finish it because that's not... because that's not, I just can't do that. Like, see if I put a series on, I don't like it, I need to finish it anyway regardless of when it's shite or not. Yeah. Because I just need to tick it off.

It's been and gone. And I'll tell you one thing that I've been doing at night time, guys. Me and Zoe got gifted. We did. The current body LED red light mask. If that's not saying you've made it in life, I don't fucking know what it's. We've fucking made it, honestly. I think on the bonus we need to wear it.

We'll have our 10 minutes shot each. Oh, right. Yeah. Because if anyone doesn't know, what it is, it's basically an LED mask you look like an absolute robot in it. It's quite tired of phones look at, I would say. Hideous, Rich is like, what the hell?

And honestly, I really want to get a silk bonnet as well for my hair, so I'm just going to look tragic going to bed soon. So a silk bonnet LED mask and some piggy pyjamas. Yep, absolutely. Anyway, so you just need like a 10 minutes of it in the morning or night and it basically helps reduce redness, fine lines and produces

more collagen. What keeps you young? Keeps us young. And I have to say, well, I say that, I've actually broke out in so many lumps and bumps on my forehead. Like, as I was looking up with the train yesterday, like, what has happened? It's very peculiar. And it's all in one area. Basically, we went to Leicester at the weekend and my mum sprayed some pillar spray.

We're obviously going to blame Pauli. And she sprayed it in my face. And it's the only thing I can think is what it is because I sleep on that side. It's very, very strange to have it on my forehead. But anyway, aside from that, I've been having quite good skin recently. And you think that's part to play, isn't that? Well, I think we should talk about this in the bonus because there's a lot of, this is the point, there's a lot of things that I've been buying recently.

I feel like my makeup bag is my favourite makeup bag I've ever had today at the moment. Wow, that's all actually. My skincare routine is I feel like I've nailed it. Right. I've had a couple of new treatments. Jess has a different face. Jesse's face has changed for the better, shall I say? Yep.

No offence to old Jesse's face. No. but you need to talk about what there is we will do because I went actually for my nails the other day and they were looking at me funny and they were like something changed maybe had your Botox done and I was like nope and she was like you look so different and I was like

and when I was in Manchester with Heather and Rebecca just there I was looking at the mirror I was like I look so different I can't put my finger on it you look young you look significantly younger I do but we can't tell you why no we can't but just not right now we can't tell you right now we'll tell you in the bonus I'll tell the Patreon Piggy's definitely so yeah

I look significantly younger you do less harsh and Holly said it as well didn't she Holly said to me everyone who's seen you since they've said you look has noticed it I love that for me I love it for you as well

and if anyone's listened to the podcast you may know why that is something that I have think I've moaned about before you have said you were going to get done anyway we're being those annoying people let's move on yeah well let's talk about where we just were and then the traumatic journey home oh okay now PTSD already go on well you will have seen on our page already that why do you always need to play with the wires of the microphones I don't know I'm sorry I was actually just trying to move my

piggy slipper around there so I wasn't bashing that bar cart thing continue so So Jess took me home to Leicester, Leicestershire, Leicester Shite, Leicester Shite. No, actually it's a great time and I met your dad, your step-mom, I'd already met your sister, had a few sexies with them, we catch up, a wee kind of like tell me about yourself, sort of experience. What are your thoughts on Dad? I had a great time. I would quite like to go in holiday with them with you, I think, because I just think they seem, you know, quite party quite, you know, get the drinks flown.

Yeah, a good vibe. They'll show you all the bar and... The house is amazing. I mean, they have got a lovely house actually. Really nice house, like all glass back, really nice. So I was quite impressed with that. Because, by the way, can we just say, Zoe said that she wanted to come to Lester

because she wanted to get to know me better. She felt like she knows everything about me except... I think it's really weird that I've not about your dad. I think it's when you realise you know a lot about someone but it's nothing that's really that important. Like, see, for example, if you died, right.

Not to ring the mood down. And you went to my funeral, you wouldn't know who. Yeah, but like, imagine you died, I don't even want to say these things, right? But you know what I mean? You're getting where I'm coming from. And I was going to your funeral, like, I'd be looking going, is that our dad?

That's weird. That's a very peculiar position to be in, our friendship. Take me look like you to have or not? Not really, because you're just so at your mum. Yeah. But I can, a slight resemblance. Anyway, I had a great time there,

and then we were moving on to your. your mum's house. She's got a new house. All of a sudden I'd met your mum before and um she rolled out the red carpet for us-o-z-os. Oh she absolutely did. Not only was she going, not making one meal for you, she made ten. She made tapas. And it was perfect in every way. Yeah. And I just love that sort of food like all different wee bits, bits and bobs. Wine, I mean we'd already had two bottles of per seacle between us at your dad. We were a little bit pissed when we got there. Um, we had wine, loads of food, dessert. Yeah, Turamisu.

Tamasu and Eatin Mess. Yeah, eating mess. What you call it? So that was perfect. Met your sister and step sister and step brother there? Yeah, she got me a little present. Can you guys see that there? If you're watching the video, it is on display.

It is my beautiful sons, Owen and Wilson and Zoe's nephews, in a kilt. And she drew that for me. She's a little artist, is our Lishian. So yeah, so that's now in our little display. Yeah, you got on well with her. She's so cute. So we had an amazing dinner and then we all just snuggled up and watched Love Island,

didn't we? Love Island All-Stars. Then I had a bath. So you did when mum ran you a bath. Fucking unreal. Because I know I've mentioned I don't have a bath before

and it's just, it's actually such a sad life. Like it's miserable. Sad little life, Jane. It's a sad little life, yeah. So I had a bubble bath which I just had an absolute great time in there, although everything was a bit dampened by the fact I had allergic reaction to, I think, maybe the cat at your dad's.

Yeah. And one of my eyes was actually shut. A pink eye. And it was like, yeah, Jess farted in it. I should have just said that instead, be honest, you know. But it was like kind of stuck, like it was kind of giving conjunctivitis. Talking of farting, your gut issue still hasn't stopped. And can we just say that I told her, why are we back at this?

Well, I'm sorry, but I've been telling her that she should buy these probiotics and she did and she's, and she's not still just as bad. Have you taken your probiotics? I do take them sometimes. Sometimes it's not good enough. If you are able to remember to take the same thing every day for your whole life, you've not got enough going on in your life. That's a load of bollocks. So you'd prefer to have a shitty asshole for the rest of your life and didn't try to change it. But it'll be living my life to the max, absolutely.

Like I know how I'd rather be. be. Anyway, you had an allergic reaction and my eye was so puffy and like gunky and I didn't really want to look at anyone to speak to him because I looked weird. You didn't. I actually looked very bizarre, deranged. How bizarre? How bizarre? How bizarre? So then I was in the bath like the one eye shut but it was fine and then I woke up and I thought all was well but it was still like that on it. Yeah it was. It was a shame thing. Like see if I touched, what was that eye, but see if I touched under it.

It was like, kind of like a water balloon I feel. Like it was all puffy and all that. Anyway, that died down. So the photo in the dump that I'm in the back of the car doing my excited thing. If you zoom in you can see. If you see. I do look a bit strange in that because my eye was puffy and gunky and disgusting and itchy as hell. Anyways, moving on.

We then drove to Soho Farmhouse. Mojy bitchies for a friend Holly's birthday and that was just lovely, wasn't it? It was a gorgeous time. actually yeah we uh went to soho farmhouse so we got to see the piggies our dance we stayed in a little cabin we had spa treatments you had the face gym facial face jam facial can't recommend more i had my pig trotters done i had a nice pedicure and she gave me like a head massage at the same time it's really gorgeous anyway we were then meant to get my friend mel to drive us to rugby train station which is basically in between it's like oxford way the farmhouse in between lester so we got to

We could go to rugby, direct train to Motherwell. It should have been a seamless, stress-free experience. Seamless. But obviously it's us. It doesn't go to plan. I'm just... Well, I don't know, because you are the type of person. If you're on a plane with me, I know I'll not die on that plane.

Like, there's a couple of people in life that you just know if you're with them. Yeah. There's no risk of death. There's no risk of severe trauma. And you think that's me? And I do think you are one of those people. Wow. I just don't think you would die young.

I just don't. Do you not? No, I just don't. I like that. But, I mean, it wasn't life or death, this situation. Let's be honest here, but it wasn't ideal. No. So, we're sitting on this train to rugby.

Bear in mind, it wasn't direct this one. Sorry, we had to change it crew. Had to change it crew. So we're sitting on the train. I'm like, fuck's sake, Zoe. The train's delayed five minutes. What's the changing time at crew? She went, oh, 12 minutes.

Obviously 12 minutes went by. We still hadn't moved. I'm like, okay. Right, what do we do here? We either get off and go and stay at my mums or we go and see if we can get another train somewhere to like Manchester. Cloth it at home, at least.

Then they announced this train is cancelled, so I'm like, fuck off. And it was also the last train that we could get because we wanted to spend as much time with my friends as possible. Much and reflection was quite a silly mistake. Anyway, get off, we go to the customer service. He goes, right, what you need to do is you need to go and get a train to crew, blah, blah, blah, speak to the team there.

They'll then get you from crew to Preston and then from Preston to up north and we're like, okay, we've checked for the trains but there's no possible way to do that by train he's like, we'll get you there by road. I was like... I was thinking, what? What's going on here then? He's like, I'm thinking coach.

So we take it into our own hands and we're like, right, actually just get this, let's get this train to Manchester. We get to Manchester. The team were lovely, weren't they? We got off a pick of dilly. They were like, yep, no worries. They were all of anti-West Coast.

That's fine. Now go and get a train to Preston. So we got another train to Preston. Got to Preston. He was like, can't help you. Nope. Not our problem. The train that was counselled was another blah, blah, and we're like, fantastic.

And if he'd stayed, if you went on the train to crew, you could have got, they put a bus on for you. Anyway, it was a load of absolute nonsense. It never happened. We were so close to just giving up. And I thought, no, I actually had a little bit of smoke coming out. And I was like, no, we are two females. I am not being stranded in Preston at midnight. This can't happen.

I need to get to Scotland because we needed to record for the poppiggies today. By the way, this was all last night, guys. And anyway, we were just about to go and book a hotel in Preston and then get the morning train. Anyway, thank God he came back after huffing and puffing. And he was like, Monty Postcodes. I was like, really? I thought I had to try to be nice.

Thank you so much. And he was like, yes, that's fine. You know, this is like a 300 pound cab that we're paying for, blah, blah, blah. But we'll let it slip this time. Got in a black cab. We thought it was going to be like a nice little car. I thought we were getting like chauffured about. It was a gigantic black cab with zero heating.

Zero heating. It was Baltic the whole time. We were shivering for three and a half hours. Like actually shivering, weren't we? Yeah, it was freezing. We connected to hotspot. We watched Love Island All Stars, which we can talk about another time because Jesus Christ, what a roller coaster that is.

And then you were like, I'm going to try to get to sleep. And there was just, I didn't really want to put this into the universe, right? But I was thinking, not a single soul in this world. can track our journey right now. Like, you know, if you get, like, an Uber or you've booked it through an app or some shit. Like, someone knows what driver you're with, where you're going, what stage in the journey are. And maybe he's got a wee system, but it was nothing to do with, like, us, if you know what I mean? Yeah.

So I was thinking, I don't know if I want to go to sleep if you're sleeping, because I was kind of looking at the signs as we go back and make sure we were on the right track. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And then I was also thinking, well, I can't sleep because I'm actually ice cold. Yeah, it was freezing. And I couldn't think about anything else, but the fact that I couldn't feel my feet anymore. And I was getting that, like, achy ankle way, you know, when you're freezing.

I was getting pins and needles non-stop. Yeah, it was achy and I was actually. But then we got to Motherwell, he decided to drop us off at Motherwell station. Can we bear in mind this was half two in the morning? Yep, 2.30 am. This morning. So I looked at him, I was like, why are you dropping us off at a train station? Where are the foot we're going to go?

Like, there's no trains. Well, so you're just going to drop. And he was like, well, this is where I need to drop you. I was like, oh my God. Anyway, you were like, I live two minutes away from the station. She'd drop you off. Drops Zoe off. He's like, tenor.

Tenor. I suppose like, I'm not paying you a tenor. Just drop me off. So he goes, why are you not getting out of the car? Went, well, I don't live here. So I need you to drop me off at my house. Where was the logic from that person? We got to mine.

He went, 25 quits. I was like, you fucking take you the piss. That was just, 300 pound. He was getting a weird for something for that. Listen, planes, trains and automobiles was going to get us here today. Absolutely. So this is what we had to make it. happen and we have unveiled the most wonderful studio space you've ever seen in your whole

entire life we've been working hard with the team to design it and it's just everything our dreams ever designed this is what dreams are made are made on i was when i was like we were sitting here for like 10 minutes earlier i was pretty much like gasping the whole time couldn't believe my eyes and everywhere we looked there was something new and like gorgeous little details i'm still obsessed fully i personally think the peg behind me is the best thing. I just think the whole thing is amazing. One funny thing to finish on, right, guys, and I absolutely

made it in life. So I was on the way down to the train in Leicester, and my old neighbour messages me. Oh, fucking I know what you're going to say. Guys, I've made it. An old neighbour messaged me, and she went a screenshot, and it was me

on a dating profile, right? They didn't even bother to change my name. It was Jess. 33. They outed me. Great selfie as me as me as well. And I was like, okay, what is this? And she went, this is my niece, lesbian dating app. I thought, fucking buzzing. I've made it.

I've made it on the lesbian dating app. The girl is getting off on me. I couldn't be happier. I think that's more of a compliment than guys. 100%. So yeah, I'm thriving sisters. I'm absolutely buzzing. Sadly, it's not me on there, but it's believable.

Somebody listens to the podcast and has catfish me, but it said that they were in Colville. stink of that but I say Lester it's not the best but I'm not from Colville I'm in Scotland but yeah Jess 33 on this lesbian dating app is thriving I wish you could get

some like background information on how many people are interested in you at the top it had like 128 heart things so I don't know if that means like the person that it was had that many hearts to give maybe it's like Tinder or something I don't know how it works now

I'm not sure I've never been on that But they chose an excellent selfie. I'm so keen to know what they wrote in the bio about me. Do you know what I just think, though, who's behind that? Like, who's thought, well, it's obviously someone that knows you and else they wouldn't choose you. Yeah. Because they wouldn't know you existed.

I've been fully catfished, but in the sense that they're still using my true age and name. No, they're not even scared at all, are they? Perfect. No, no, no, fuck's given. No, fucksgiving. And do you know what happened to me whilst we're talking about, like, funny stories? Yep. I don't know if it's funny or.

embarrassing or what this is, right? Anyway, I'm in Nottingham a few weeks ago for my cousin's baby shower. He's having a baby. So me and my mum go down and then my other cousin Talley, I was like, why don't we go out after it for dinner and some drinks? Because we don't see each other

that often really, so we thought we'll get away from like the adults and that. I know we're adults, but you know what I mean? And we'll have a night out and Nottingham. Because actually they live like half an hour out of Nottingham. So we go to hers, have some cocktails perfect, get spruced up. get a taxi into knocky

and we're having a bottle of beseco in the back not a bother taxi driver sings to us as well bizarre and then we go here for a couple of drinks perfect cocktails loving life then we thought we'll go to this place for food

they gave us a wee buzzer thing because we had to wait like 40 minutes on a table but you can go like so far so we could go to another bar yeah did that a drink in there a wee dance about and honestly I'd go as far as saying I was sober right I mean obviously

someone else could have thought different but we soon find out however I felt fine I'm not a stumbly slurry You're not really a miss a drunk client No Like I could say I was sober and you'd believe me and I'd be absolutely pissed inside

But anyway We go to this restaurant Sit down, we'd already looked at the menu a bit Like we knew that we were just getting like bits and bobs Talia goes there all the time So like she knows what they do Ask what cocktail they recommended

Blah blah blah So they bring the cocktail over and as they put it down the guy says just to let you know this will be your first and your last alcoholic beverage and I was we looked at each hour like and you know you just

like nothing comes to say like you're not prepared to speak because you're shocked and then he was like cause as like a team we just make these calls and we think you're inebriated what a word honestly number one

so we just looked at him like and then he walked away right so number one we looked at each other and I was like what the fuck does that mean like that's a very serious word then obviously we work out that it means obviously means you're too drunk and number two I was like what a load of shike

because like honestly genuinely we were not and see inebriated that means like that's the person on the side of the curb that needs an ambulance to get home like paralytic yeah like that's never me I'm not that person because I can handle my drink madness and we weren't at all

like we weren't being roundy. Who are they? What's it called? Bar Eberico or something like that it's called. It's kind of like a tapass place. I would call it down the Northcomb strip. Not sure if that... The lace market?

I have no idea but that's... It felt like a strip to me. It was quite a nice, busy, lively area. Anyway, but we were sitting in like a corner of the restaurant. People around us, like no one was looking at us, like, I know for a fact we were absolutely fine. Because I just do. They obviously thought different.

My cousin asked if the guy at the bar was Pete Wicks and she's convinced that's what threw them off. I saw him actually at the weekend. Yeah, you did actually. And I just thought, I don't think that's the reason. Anyway, so we asked for the guy. Well, I said, I'm not eating in here. You don't call me inebriated when I'm quite clearly not.

I'm not eating here. No way. So, no way. So we get away just over and I was like, excuse me, can we cancel our food order? We don't want to eat here anymore. And she was just about like, um, yeah.

the staff were obviously talking about us because everyone looked like see when they were walking by you could almost tell they were like not wanting to catch an eye and come over so anyway cancelled order and tally was like can you also get the guy back over who told us we were inebriated please so he comes over and she's like obviously i sat there fucking no see anything and she was like i actually think this is ridiculous we're absolutely fine and if we were that bad why did you serve as a cocktail in the first place like you wouldn't have let us in if we were inebriated um like my cousins all the way from Scotland and like I brought her here because I love it here like you know milking it and he was like yeah you actually seem all right

she was like what from 10 minutes ago like what's the difference we just need to make a call as a team though fucking madness and we were just back and forth with him and he was like no we just need to make a call as a team and once we've said it we've said it like there's no going back she was just like well I won't be back can you fucking believe that I'm like ooh I know we walked We walked out with, like, our tail between our legs. But see, when I get back to the hotel, I told my mum, obviously, because I was like, you never guess what just happened to us, because it was only like half 11, so she was shocked with her back.

And she was absolutely pissing herself because she was like, if you were an, obviously I didn't really, how do you say, an inebriated, I didn't really understand the extent of the word until my mum was like, literally dead on the floor laughing at me. She was like, if you were inebrated, you would not be standing there, tell me this story. And at half 11 wasn't it? Yeah, I know. But then obviously we went to bed and woke up in the morning. She was like, you must be so hungover because you were inebriated last night. And I was like, that's just going to become a thing. But I thought that was actually quite shocking behaviour

from that place. Fuck him. You won't be back. I won't be back. Do you know what I wished we'd access to though, like the cameras on the street or like the cameras of the restaurant? Because I do, I do think, like, I'm almost certain with an absolute right, but I'm like, is it a will for Wall Street situation? yeah what you like is that what you're really like is it what like I'm almost sure but then there's a 1% that could

I could be wrong and I think would they've said over nothing but I can't help but think it was just because we were quite lively and we're like well if this is you know like just quite fast at ordering and just maybe a bit much bit intimidating for like the child that was serving as clearly

well you won't be back though no Zazazzo I won't be back anyway I just had to note that down to remember to tell you guys i thought that was quite insulting silly i hope we can get inebriated on this podcast one time in this season because we've got a gorgeous bar cart in front of us with lots of booze on it we do okay here we go even be able to speak that's the thing and speaking just before we finish up this gorgeous episode um update on hertility all fucking out la la la la la la la la la la la still going on i try to email them the day saying hi um it's me again the one that can't prick her own finger

um can i please order a nurse i'm on day three of my period and they were like you need to give us five days notice. So it's happening next month. I've paid for the extra nurse appointment. Yeah. My next cycle is December. So we're going to read out the results live on the potty wadi wadi wadi. I'm going to need something good to come of this because it's been a really long wind. It's been a long winded. Yep. And I've got a very important doctor's appointment tomorrow that I need to tell you what all about next week and we'll let you know on that one and the results on that. Women's health. Women's health. It's important thing. Very important. I also had just keeping this going here

I also got a letter through for another smear test right and I'm only 27 youthful as you all know and right let me just get this correct information here and I was in the cut off that I didn't get my first one until I was

25 years of age right right and then it's meant to be every five years I believe I couldn't tell you it's either every three years or every five unsure but Then it was literally a year and a half later and a letter went to my mum's old house and one day we got all the mail from there

and it was from July last year but I didn't see it until like November say to go for another one so I had another one in December I mean I'm not complaining you should complain no not complaining but I did think is anyone getting any information on that? What was that episode where

they swabbed you but they didn't get it right my first mere chest they swabbed obviously the swab was going deep into your vaginal past and it's quite uncomfortable experience. Not, I wouldn't actually say physically, I just mean like you've got your legs open in front of a stranger. Yeah, and now scraping your vagina wall. Yep.

This is what it is. This is also our first time with her new producers. They're going to be like, what the actual fucking fuck. I think they've heard it all by now. Anyway, and she put the, say it's a cotton bud, because it's kind of like that into, into the formula that they need to send away, and she knocked it over.

So she had to do it all again And that was my first experience I just cun up with that Of someone putting something out of my vagina So anyway Let's send that there then Before we ramble on any further About vaginas

Yes I could talk about it all day To be honest Same same same same same same Same same same Anyway we hope you enjoyed our first episode back And please Please make sure that you

Follow us on Instagram After all the important bits You like and subscribe on YouTube. I think that's how it works. That's a new one that. Give us a five-star rating on Spotify or Apple Podcasts wherever you listen

or stream your wonderful episode of us. And please, pretty, pretty please, we'd love you to listen to the bonus episode and be one of our Patreon Piggies. Mm-hmm. You promise it'll be worth your three quid. And I don't know if it's possible, but I think we will get a bit more personal

on that platform. It will feel more like a safe space. This feels like a safe space anyway. but I don't know it just feel like a bit more it's just it's actually just quite like a social platform like yeah we can post like posts yeah so like we'll just be a bit more active on there as well to give like our kind of community a bit more

updates of our life and whatever things don't cover and I just feel like we've got so much we want to talk about and so little time and there's so many like I said to you like things that I've tried treatments makeup bags things that we've bought because you guys love all that recommendations yeah and it's been it's been a long time so we've got a lot to catch up on bits and bobs things that have happened since we've gone

that we want to tell you but obviously you still be sharing everything on the main episode as well that's still going to be absolutely perfect but just extra juicy bits absolutely right well i've been staring at your face for too long so let's fuck off okay let's fuck off see you later guys bye