A Lot On Your Plate - S4 Ep17: Men in kilts

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

This week on ALOYP we share our thoughts on men in kilts, Jess gives us an update on the iconic Flo Rida story and we bring back our first ever topic, Scotland vs England. We'll leave it to your imagination who we vote as the winner...enjoy💖 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi guys, happy Tuesday. Welcome back to the best podcast in the world held. I feel like I'll put the giggles a bit. Why? I don't know. You are smiling a lot today. Ooh. They just came over the, oh, but the ooh.

Smiling, ooh. Ew. Stop being so nice. Anyway, we're back, we're here, it's another week. By the way, this is episode. 17 holy shit we've only got three more to go

I know can you believe it but guys the fun doesn't stop there if you are a Patreon lovely PPP then we're going to continue the podcast just for you

so head on over there absolutely yeah we decided haven't we we're going to continue it once a week whilst we're gone for a little bit of a break

because we do need a holiday but we still will be recording whether that's in the studio or not but we'll be doing something on Patreon and then we'll be back We need a refresh We need stories for you all We need

Life events in between And you know what We say these this right But we're never short of conversation Or chat No we're not Ever actually It's a strange thing this life

I've got We've been with each other Like four days this week And I've still got a long fucking list to speak to you about today I know I'm exhausted You've had a long week, haven't you? You've been agrafted with old crime management

this week Oh, I'm done in What really was the moment when I realised That I was too busy was when I was walking up Buchanan Street eating a chuna signage from M&S In between meetings And I thought I was eating it whilst walking

I thought I don't even have five minutes I sit and eat this today She's thriving That's grafting for you right there It is I was helping you out with a little bit of in your little shots for content day me and rich hand models

which is one thing I never thought I would be who'd the thought the fools who'd have thought they're not looking too bad I think they look quite good they look quite pretty they look quite pretty

these little fills it's just oh what are we talking of nails quickly by the way a little shout out when I was sorry I'm gonna have to move myself on the mic you're not getting your toes out are you

shut as if when did you put them there earlier product placement I went in to get my hair done by Mr Jackie Baxter Who's wedding it was his big Ken We can talk about that in a second And as I was waiting in the foyer He's now based at NAF

Which I've never been before House of NAF And there was this cuticle oil Called Dusk Guys I'm not really a cuticle oil girlie But my normal nail lady Lisa Has like little pens and they're so nice But anyway I ran out of that

So I tried this It is so good Did I make you try it the other day? Yeah, and it smells amazing. You know, I'm into my whole masculine smells. It's beautiful, and it just feels like you've got that nice oil perfume on throughout the day. I don't actually love oil on my hands either. But my cuticles need it, they're dry.

Yes, or mine. I probably should apply it more often. But highly recommend you get this. It's the, well, there's a few flavours, but my favourite is the dusk one. I don't know how much it was, maybe like, seven quid, unsure. that's quite good but recommend yeah

anyway spit or swallow for today if you're watching you'll be able to see it it's from long short black short long black how many times

you have to get that right Zoe short long black in the south side it's up there with one of my favourite bakeries coffee shops in Glasgow yeah it's just like a wee

take away their pan suisse is just phenomenal I never got that? It's amazing. Layers upon layers of pastry. Damn it, right. And also do a really good coffee.

Also, while we're just talking quickly about the YouTube, we would really, really, really appreciate it. If you are watching this on YouTube, please hit that bell button, that subscribe button. Because we nearly get a thousand subscribers. And over a thousand of you watch every week. So even if you're actually listening to this on Spotify or Apple Podcast or ever,

and you just fancy just going on YouTube and just subscribing. And I'll go and just do it. Just do it, please. Help us out. And see if I can keep being a subscriber from a personal YouTube. Not that I've uploaded, you know what I mean, I watch things on. And I like to unsubscribe to people who I don't watch anymore because I like all my videos to be watched.

Oh. You know how I'm like that. Yeah. With stuff like that. And I don't obviously watch all of ours back on YouTube because I've already watched it. So even though it triggers you, you still subscribe. Even though it triggers me, I will not unsubscribed. to myself. We made Jason and

Richard subscribe to it as well. I mean always unwatched. Probably for their own good. That's what I think. Anyway, we have a pistachio and dark chocolate cookie here. Just try to try this before we came on. And it was like, no.

And it was literally here and I went put that down. She did. And then I really sadly can't remember what this is called. However, it's like a sponge cake with cream jam and it's got something else in it as well is it like almond

yeah it's I'm certain we tried this on season two and it was from we got the one from Burnfield Bakery in Southside which is again beautiful this looks like the same sort of cake what is the name of it I can't remember

she took a picture can he mind right let me just break a bit of this cookie off hmm The cookies are actually green I wonder if it's got food colours in it or From the pistachio That looks so good

I'm going to have to go right in and a bit I need a sweet treat Oh this is so soft and moist Oh god Alan don't you dare be zooming on that camera right now Holy fucker Rudy No way that is amazing Take a bit of the cookie

Then pass me that back How the hell do they make that so moist I need to know I don't know how people can even make a cookie I can't even make a cookie from a packet mix Yeah you can Every time I try it fails I don't understand what I do wrong Right, cookies

When they get out of the oven they look raw So that's probably where you're going wrong they will always look raw you bash it on the side leave it for like five minutes and then they harden that's where you go wrong you're correct

because I don't bring them out until they look done yeah you fucked it mate and then it sat there and they're rocks all and you're hydrating even more yeah you only need to put a cookie in

for like eight minutes and that's coming from someone like myself that is not a baker Zoe how good is that that's good so good that was like a sigh of happiness

um guys Zoe shaved off 35 seconds of a 5K come we get a hole yeah Murray crap hell yeah yep we love it

I found it even worse yeah can I just say it was just me and Zoe on this one uh Heather didn't join the fun this week and I'll be honest we tried to on my Apple watch We actually did park run, didn't we, this time?

We managed we were on time. And you stopped a couple of times. I did like a, like I broke the run with a wee like do-dum-dum, couple of fast steps. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So I thought to myself, she's not going to do it. Because I said to you, look, even if we just get this done, it's fine. But I said, let's aim for 35 minutes.

Let's try and get you 30 seconds off. When was that? Was that in the last K? Yeah, your fourth K was, was, slow, not slow but you really ramped it back but then the first K and the fifth K

you were fast so that's what saved you the time in the fourth first and second were faster than last year that's why I think I was done in after that yeah so it's a bit to slow down but you did it and you shaved off your time

and I said to you even if you don't shave off any seconds the fact you've done it consecutively well you were sitting meek come on don't stop or you won't beat your time and I was like I couldn't honestly give less of a single time. Do you know when it was Zoe? I understand that right and I'm not all about to say like you need to do it in this time but when we were 200 metres from the finish and you were walking it wasn't until that lady behind you said come on you've got 200 meters to go don't stop and I thought if you just do this you actually will beat your time but if you walk this next 200 metres you won't so what would you have preferred to die in the spot no you wouldn't whatever you say you're lying it was honestly so difficult that time Yeah, it was hot

And it was hot again It was piping hot from the start I had that wee zip thing off quick on the last time And that's saying something My back wasn't even tanned But you said to me yesterday You actually wanted, you were busy But you wanted to go for a run

Yeah, I planned to go a run yesterday But I was, excuse me, too busy So the point is You get in there I can't believe I've done two park runs I run through the week And I still don't have skinny legs we've discussed this wrong mindset to have right um so was it a wedding at the weekend tell us more

it was a party i wouldn't even say it was a wedding just a good time jack and abbey your family and friends are wild um but it was iconic very good that's what you want people to say a bit of a wedding i think yeah it just was a really super relaxed day. Nothing was too over the top. And it was one of those weddings where, in fact, I don't even know why I'm saying one of those weddings because I've never been to a wedding like this, but when the main finished, there was like singing secret waiters. So then waiters turned into a singer. So then everyone was up dancing. It was Abba. And then the dessert never happened. So then the table was getting cleared away and I'm thinking,

where's the dessert? And Abby went, this is the bride. Oh, fuck that. We don't need the dessert. So And then the tables were cleared. We all went into the other room in the bar. And yeah, I think the desserts came was sat around the edge of the tables at the end of the night. No one touched them. Just a big party. So much fun. But anyway, I wanted to ask you a couple things.

What are your thoughts on men that wear kilts at weddings? If you married Jason, would you want him to wear a kilt? Yep. Same. I just think it's not often. that guys really get an opportunity to do that unless you're up for wearing it at every wedding you go to which most people wouldn't

I also think especially for guys who do wear suits maybe to work you should be wearing a kilt yeah look you should look different on your wedding day but I just think for Jason I don't know would you want him to change halfway through the night no I would just keep the kilt on would you um and there was bagpipes at the wedding yeah I would have that down the aisle

of course, weeping, wet. For me, it's, you're Scottish, embrace it. No one else would do those things, really. Do you know what else they did at the end as well? Which I've never heard before. I can't remember what it's called, but they all had a shot. The father of Jack and Abbey had a shot of whiskey. They poured the whiskey into this silver bowl

and then they all took a sip of the silver bowl together at the end of the altar. I have actually, wait, is this just after they... They've already married at this point, yeah. But just, you're still in the kind of aisle bit. Yeah. Yeah, I have actually seen that before, I think. I don't know why that is.

It was a Scottish tradition, they were saying. But I quite like that. Yeah. And then the bagpipes center down the aisle. Obviously, I was just a blubbing mess because I just loved them so much. Bagpipes over a song. Yeah. Right, I quite like that.

Yeah, I'd never, because the guy was standing outside the, it was at the Bliveswood Hotel. So he was the one that was, well, you saw him when you dropped me off. He then came down with her. right okay and oh just and then her sister was it her sister or a cousin uh when you turn around and you see obviously jack at the end a sister just face just burst she was walking down the aisle absolutely roaring was jack crying no no but abby they were both nervous it was so cute would you want richard to cry no i know people say like if you don't cry or like if he doesn't cry I'd be disappointed I just don't know how...

No, I think a lot of women say that they're all... Yeah, a little bit. We can't say that. But you know women, when they're walking down the aisle, I am quite an emotional person. I feel quite deeply, so I'm roaring at anything when it comes... Do you know what it is? I know I say things about marriage and things.

I genuinely love weddings, and you know what it is? I love, love people celebrating love. So when I see two people in love or even the whole ceremony, I'm in bits. No, I know. And it's not, it doesn't ever mean that I don't want to get married. It's just, I don't know, I've got this weird connection with it. So I'm just absolutely crying my eyes out. Love that.

Spagpipes as well, isn't it? Yeah. But the reason I asked about the kill was because in our group chat, we said this a few months back. And two of our friends were like, absolutely no way chance in hell. And I thought, what? I would love Rich to wear a kid. kilt but I get it pictures and stuff your man's in a skirt that's what I was just about to say now that I think about it when I think about the pictures would I prefer a suit yeah then you would

you would so I think what I would say if this day ever came that it would be you wear a kilt with all your groomsmen and then when we're parting at night you put on your black tied dicky bow oh gorgeous because I'd change my dress probably same and also you You jumping about and a kilt is, I don't know about that. Dangerous. No, it's not even that. It's like it's swinging like a skirt. Because then it is a skirt.

Yeah. And you're wearing no pants? Well, traditionally they don't, do they? Sweat balls. Yeah. Ew. Ew. Anyway, what else has been on your plate?

Physically. I went to M&S yesterday and bought low... I did my food shop at M&S. I felt boozy as fuck. Is it even that more expensive? of these days? I'm going to say no. Yeah, it was. It was over 100 quid and I thought,

what the fuck have I just bought? Yeah, for like, how many days worth? I probably didn't strategically plan it well where it was like, this is meals. I just went in and just went wild. Yeah. It was like, oh, no, no, no, no. All the new shit. So much

good shit. Picnicky stuff. Yeah. Just bets. But yeah, it would last me a while. I'm trying to think, me and you were together on Saturday. We went to Ephes. That was really good. That was really good.

That's what I wanted to talk about. They'd been on my plate because I really enjoyed that. Yeah, you did, didn't you? And I liked just everything about the experience. It's the Turkish restaurant in Udingston, but there is also one in Merchant City. And it used to be Redstones. Or did it Radstone? No, that's the hotel, unsure.

But it was bloody roasting on Saturday. quite unexpectedly. Yeah, it was nice. So we walked along there and we sat outside. Yeah. Gorgeous view into the blue sky. And we'd spent the day in Lin Lithgow

because Richard was playing rugby so random. But we have done a vlog so that will be over on Patreon as the monthly special episode in a matter of days actually. Yeah, it'll be out before this. Yes. But yeah, we got, what did I get,

chicken sheesh? Yep. Which came with rice. We got a salad, which was like feta. That was good. What was that? Feta, cucumber. Fuck knows, but it was good. They also give you a salad.

And the balloon bread with the garlic butter. That was good. And it melted all in. And you didn't drink again? No drinking. You're not drunk at all this weekend? No drinking. Well done.

I've not drank since I last spoke to you all. Well done, Zoe. I think that's good. How do you? A week. And then we had dessert as well. Baclava And do we know the name

Another thing yet? No, I can't remember No, I can't But it's the beclava pastry That's more hairy Because we care, I think Canny mind? Yeah, it was like hay

But anyway, that's what was good On my plate in the last week I went to Sugo Did you? With your mother? Oh, Brutiel She went to theatre again I was back at the theatre

Unexpectedly right Before anyone comes from me My mum's friend the two tickets for the ballet, the ballette. And she couldn't make it, so mum asked me if wanted to go with her and I thought, oh, I know. Why know? So anyway, I went, first time at the ballet. It is ballet, by the way, I know that before anyone. I know, we can't make jokes, can we all this shit.

Just a wee joke. And it was Edward Scissorhan's theme. Which you hadn't seen the film before. I don't think I've seen the film. No. so anyway I went there and the first 10 15 minutes I will say I was a bit thrown off at the fact there was lots of things going on on the stage

but no one was speaking or singing I felt like how are they not dying just to be like oh yeah like I couldn't quite get my head around that but then as I got into it and the story started to unravel I was invested

and I enjoyed it and it's not your typical like Swan Lake where it's very ballet, like poinsches and all that. It was just like dancing. Right. Quite moving.

I'm almost crying at the end. Was she? Yeah. Well, it's quite an emotional story, is it not? Yeah. But you can't speak in the film, I'm sure. I don't know. I can't remember.

It's Johnny Depp? I need to watch it, but it's given Halloween. I feel like I should wait until that time of year. Anyway, yeah, so I went to the ballet and I would absolutely go again. Do you know where else I, I don't know if I've told you this? so when it was my anniversary on Friday but we went out in town on Thursday I went to

for lunch at Mamma san Mamma san Also did you eat there as well I thought you were just having a drinky poo So we were at end And which was like Where should we go and get some lunch

And I was tempted to go back to Misson Not surprised No But then as I walked by I thought I've never actually been in here I know there's I'm one of those people right Where something's overly hyped

When it opens I'm not arse about going and when it's been like year or two past I thought I'm never probably ever going to go and eat there yeah you know for it before it's even began so I walked by and I thought you know what I'm going to give this place a shot warts in it was dead which I thought is that a good sign it's a still scaffolding outside yeah which is a shame for them

it's a real shame I know it's been scaffolding outside there for years it's since it opened that's a shame I know because you can't really see in so anyway and we've eaten there before when it used to be cow CAU oh yeah and went in and the service was amazing, should be, we're any one's in there. Cocktails were great. I had this big green one with like a big bubble and it burst. It was very theatrical. And the guy said to us, order three to four plates. We ordered this chicken satay, the short rib, something short rib and this sweet, sticky caramel chicken, crispy chicken. Zoe, it was all brilliant. The short rib was that good. Richard

ordered another dish. And then we ordered the short rib, mamassan. Massa Man, sorry, curry. Lovely. Which was beautiful. So I highly recommend that. I'll definitely, definitely be going back. Right, just before we move on to our main part of the episode, I want to just to quickly discuss something that we have spoken about before an episode,

but it brought my memory back because there's been an update with the story. And the producers here have never heard this story. So I was at the wedding at the weekend and somebody said to me, oh, what did you do for your 30th, like surely your 30th must have been ruined with COVID. And I was like, well, actually it wasn't. I went to Antigua. It was on the green list at the time. And my friend, Tash, who lives in Leicester, she's Antiguan and her dad. He knew lots of people on the island and we managed to get this amazing penthouse. How would you call it? Like a four-story big villa in Hodges Bay. It was very bougie. It was

bougie. And you guys, if anyone listened to this has followed me for a long time, you'll remember But the story is it was boozy as fuck. If you followed me on my personal page, that was. So, Rich then said, oh, tell them about the time where you lost your passport. I was like, oh, yay, what a great conversation to have at a wedding. But I was like, yeah, so basically I was stuck in Antigua. And this was the same time I was getting the cats. Do you remember?

I ran in Wilson. So my passport got stolen. Bear in mind, there was nobody staying in this Hodges Bay place. It was COVID. still there was rules out there if we couldn't leave, the resort. Unfortunately, my passport was definitely stolen along with my card holder with lots of cash in it.

I then got ridiculously drunk that night and the next day all the team was meant to go to this water park. I couldn't go, so I stayed in this big, huge house on my own. I'm saying in the best room in the villa, of course, because it was my 30th, so I said, I want the top, wrap around penthouse, panicking is trying to find this passport. So I think for some reason maybe I was organised once in my life

and I put it in the safe. You never know. As I put my hand into the safe, I pull out this extremely heavy, huge diamond-encrusted ring, right? And I'm like, holy fuck. What is this? It weighed a ton.

So then I put it on my finger like, what the hell? It was hideous. It was the most ugliest thing I ever seen. Very bling, bling, black. It had diamonds all the way around it. And I'm looking at it thinking, what the hell? And I turned it to the side, and in-encrusted diamonds, it said, Flowrider.

Right? And I'm like, Flo rider. I was in the flowrider. I was just going to say it the floor rider. Apple bottom jeans, flow rider. So I then put it on my finger, and I send it to the group chat, because bear in mind, they're all out at the villa. Like, I haven't found my passport girls, but I found this.

and it said MBA on the side so my friend's really good friend at the time loved NBA so she sent it to him like look at this ring Jess had just found and he was like no no no no no like you don't understand how rare this is like this is one in a million ring it's been designed for Flowrider

there's probably like 15 in the world if that it was awarded at something when it was the NBA championship or something that will be worth hundreds of thousands of pounds so I'm thinking but my passport I'm going to get a private jet home.

I'm going to sell this rather. In the back of my mind, I actually didn't care. All I wanted to do, I'm such a cat mom, but I wanted to get home to meet my cats. And it was just difficult time with COVID. All of the passport offices were shut. At that point, there was seriously no way I was going to get home. So my friend Jess then takes a picture of me on my phone with this ring on my finger.

She then tags Flowrider on Instagram and just when you find Flowrider's ring. He replies. like oh my god so i've missed a part of the story here flow rider was basically staying in the villa the night before i got there with a shanty to celebrate her 40th birthday in hodges bay they hired out the whole of hodges bay for a shanty's 40th and he must have left it in the safe he then replied to jess's story like oh my god please i need this ring back so i thought good karma i will give this ring back if it's worth hundreds of thousands of pounds and i'll explain the situation and he will get me a jet home

he will know somebody that will get me a private jet home so I replied to him like don't worry he sent a number here's a number to text my number he says and so I text him saying don't worry I've handed it into the Did you do it on WhatsApp? Was there a picture? No there was no picture and it was on WhatsApp And we sent the ring back to the guys Anyway

Long story short Did that fucker send a bottle of champagne Or even a thank you No he didn't I think that's absolutely shocking behaviour? Flowrider didn't even send a bottle of champagne, a thank you text back, even just tickets to one of his shows, nothing and still to this day. And then the point of this story was, the update is, Flowriders just won a lawsuit for an energy drink for eight to two

million pounds. And in his speech in the lawsuit where he's winning, he's wearing that ring on his pinky finger. I am like, so this is three years later, I'm like, you wouldn't have that on your If it wasn't for you. You clearly love this ring so much and you've just won 82 million pounds and you didn't even give me

tickets to your show. I was a good Samaritan and gave me that ring back. I feel like a million pounds doesn't even too much to ask. This ring was so rare. It's not even like you'd go and buy it again. So if you Google basically

Flowrider NBA ring my face is the first thing that comes up. And people are messaging me saying I'll give you five brand for that ring. Someone in less. message me saying I'll give you five grand now I was like five grand mate chance sir it's worth hundred grand see if you google it there's my big noggin and it's really bad selfie as well I was so hung over and I was like I think that's an iconic story see just quickly before we

go on to our topic of today can we just talk about the pressures of packing your shopping away quick enough at the tell on extreme to the other how the other half live no but seriously? Are we talking Aldi here? Yes. Well, any shop? If you've got more than one bag

of shopping the pressures of that really get to me. But I feel like the pressure is now because we're paying 5p or 10p for a bag my pressure is getting it all in one bag because I'm too embarrassed to buy another bag in a mid-defeet.

No, I know what you mean. But equally I'm like, I like to make sure heavy things are at the bottom to obviously not crush anything else. Yeah. So I'm trying to have a bit of a strategy going on in my bagpacking. Like cupboard stuff, fridge stuff.

And this person is actually like, ding, like they're getting faster and nothing else is changing. Isn't it true though that they're getting paid? They're getting paid for that? Aren't they getting paid for putting you through quicker? Audi and Liddle need to have a self-service checkout. They do. Because I'm never going into Audi for a pint of milk.

No, my Aldi does. What? The two Aldi's near me have self-checking. Shut up No they do But the other day I went and I was getting Where are you chopping

Fancy Aldi's Where's that? Near me I'm not telling you for security reasons Oh I'm like Pallas Grounds one Yeah No he doesn't I absolutely does now

So there's one up near me Oh yeah yeah Anyway What was going to say there Oh yeah, the other day I went in and I'd planned out some meals to have so I was getting quite a lot of things so I went to the person

because it's too much to do on my own and she was just batting them through and I just didn't have a minute to like gather my thoughts or my things and I just felt that really difficult it is stressful I actually now would get a trolley if I've got a pound

and I took a pound down and I lost it that's a shame in it I was You need to get one of those things like key ring I know I do but I actually think now if you can have a trollet you're better just shoving it all in the trolley and doing your packing at another stage

yeah well the Audi the whole point of the long shelf at the back of Audi is to pack your bits Liddle were the first to do that were they yeah off the back of that if you've got 10 million things and I've got a pint of milk let me go first I do do that

no good so da but I mean other people who don't do that in our sholes yeah but you shouldn't really be shopping that's what I meant I haven't been to an Audi where there's a self check out before so that is life-changing yeah anyway I had to get that off my chest because the other day I was quite struggles with that loves it right anyway we're actually here to go back to our very first topic because our video is actually going a little bit viral out we out with I was I was wondering what video you were

talking about there yeah it's going really very very well on TikTok and Instagram we've got some angry people in the comments as you do it is a word I'm like, yeah, it is a word to you, but it's not a word to me. Yes, it's a word, we get it, but it's not a word to me. If I've never ever heard it, I would never use it. And you wouldn't use it, yeah. So, anyway. We thought we would go back to chatting about English and Scottish phrases

that Jess has maybe picked up over the last year or two. And we asked you guys of any that you wanted to share with us as well. Quite a few we maybe have discussed before, so apologies. if we have but there's newbies here yeah so shall i begin yeah you start with your list because i've got a really long list here and i'm guessing some of it will be off that list god there's so many replies that was probably the most replies we've had on a question we're talking thousands i think yeah anyway you go first so when i first moved up here the very first thing somebody said to me was where'd you stay and that completely threw me off

And it's one of those situations where Scottish people don't understand that that is not... Normal? No, it's not that it's normal to an English person. You wouldn't say, where do you stay? It really threw me off. But now that's what I say. If I'm asking someone where they live, I would say where do you stay? And, yeah, we just wouldn't say that.

It would be where do you live? I actually think I say where do you live. Yeah, you do. Or Mabbitt. You say that a lot. Do you want to come over at Mabit? Mabbitt. meaning...

Or will we go to your bet? And does that mean my house or... Yeah. Habit. That's weird, isn't it? Yeah. Bet? My bet.

Um... And this is very similar to the sense of where I'm from in Leicester, I was brought up in a way where there were certain phrases that were class as common. So my mum would kick it out of me. If I would say certain things, it wouldn't be allowed. So I'll talk about some slang. from Lester but there's also slang here that I know you don't say but there's people that we hang about with that do speak like this but you're saying common yeah

to us people maybe would say you would call it schemy yeah we would say like yeah maybe just like rough yeah but then that sounds a bit savage I wouldn't call someone rough but I would say yeah we would call them common yeah but that is kind of the equivalent of course yeah I'm about like council about rough council I want you just like never dream of calling someone council. That's like, that's like savage. That common is just like the equivalent, no really. No, I know.

And I know that's why what grass regions call people like schemy, kunzel. Yeah. Council. Why'd you call it kunzel? That's just the slang way of saying it. It's just someone like me who I don't really speak that slang. Okay, so let's use Heather, for example, because she would say council.

She is someone that I hang about with a lot who I really struggles to this day to understand. she's from Mother Well and she will say how no and that for me throws me off if I say anything to her she'd be like how no meaning why not yeah how no

I don't want to go out tonight how no and when she used to start speaking to me she'll love this but I just really struggle to understand her I don't understand why I mean Heather speaks so definitely though because your mother goes to the theatre although Heather's mum's really nice

and like proper. Well-spoken, I know. It just depends, oh, I don't know. It does just depend your surroundings and everything, I suppose. Yeah. But anyway.

She says a lot and you say this, I think. Couldn't and wouldn't would be couldny, wouldn't. I don't think I do do that. Would you say couldn't? I couldn't do that. Couldn't? Yeah, you'd go couldn't.

Couldn't? I wouldn't be like couldn't. But I don't think I would say could do that. No, you wouldn't actually. Couldney, wouldn'ty? Staying through, again, staying through Mabit. Are you staying through? I would be, I would say, this is what I mean,

my brain's so mashed now that I don't even know what I say. I know, but I'm the same because I'm like, do I speak? But staying through in Leicester, I would say. Staying over. Are you coming to, are you coming here? Or you going there? I wouldn't say staying through. No, I think staying through is like staying over.

You would say you're staying through in Edinburgh, for example, are you having an overnight in Edinburgh or? Right, okay. Yeah, I wouldn't say staying through. The wheels of my brain are going at 100 miles an hour. Folk. All right. You refer to a lot of people as folk.

We don't do that at all. Like there was a lot of folk in there? Yeah. We'd just say people. So boring being English You do this You do this a lot You get me a complex in these situations

No I like it Zoe I like it because I say this stuff now You know that way You do that a lot Yeah You say something like Oh you know when you just feel good You know that way

It does just feel good you know that way it does the job it does the job so does out with it does the job it's like when you say I don't really feel that hungover but I just have that sort of like

I was drinking the night before you know that way yeah another thing that sort of relates to that is giving me the boat or geese me the boat or knocks me sick knocks me sick's a great one

but I don't think that's just Scottish I think that is actually quite a northern thing. Knocks me sick, yeah. And giving me the boke, I wish I could say it in your accent because it sounds so much better, but that is a phrase

that I really wish was as useful as like Outwith because I don't know what I would refer to that now if I'm back home. If someone was giving me the boat. He's giving me the boke. But then I would say

oh, he's giving me the ick but that word is new. I never used to use that. Did I leviat would actually make that thing? Fuck knows. Probably. But giving me the boat is such an amazing sentence. Exception?

Yeah. No one or not as. And I really wish it was acceptable for me to use that back home. You just need to make up then. But I would get absolutely hammered to fuck. Now this is a good one. I would like to know what everyone in this podcast calls when you are on a bicycle, when you're a kid,

and somebody gets on the back or the front. A backy. A backy. You're on the back? Okay, what was if it's on the front? Still a backy? Yeah, probably, actually. Fronty.

So we call it a croggy. Coggy. That's just the accent, but it's Croggy. But what does that mean? I don't know. What does Boak mean? Sick, gag. Does it?

Yeah. Coggy is our terminology for a backy. A cog to me is reminding me of a grog, like a grog or like yeah. So I wonder why that is. Or what's a wheelie? Is that not a thing? A wheel is where you're going up on your back wheel. Oh yeah that is. Um and would you say that? Yeah, called it a weedy yeah. Right. Another thing that I cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot get my head around and I still to the day I'm so confused when you say it. Don't say it. What? But no. Okay good because I've got a complex. No.

The but is one thing that just fries my brain. You end a sentence with but when the word is though. But it's when you say the back of five. What the fuck does that mean? The back of five? Like, is it five past five? Is it five to five? Is it half five?

I'll be at yours at the back of five. I'm like, I have no idea what time's be ready. The back of five to me is between five and five-fifteen. The back of five. So it's just after. The back of. But that seems the front of, like the beginning of five. The back of five is nearly at the end to six.

No. The back kind of means the end. So why would you say it's at the front? The back of, I know, but it's just, it's more like just after. I think anyway. It's just one thing that I can't get my head around. So you're saying it's then, If somebody said to me, I'll be at yours at the back of six,

it would be, they'll be there between six and quarter past. That's what I would take from it. And if I said that that's what I would mean, I don't actually say that. I'm more of a like, I'll be there at, I would just put five-fifteen. Yeah. Or I would say five-ish. Yeah.

Which kind of covers from like 10 to 5 to maybe quarter past 5. Okay. That's five-ish to me. Okay. But that's, you know, another thing like that that's quite annoying. When people don't know when to say this weekend the next weekend. yeah so like when's next Saturday are you um so what day we on now Tuesday so not this Saturday next yeah same whereas some people mean like the next Saturday as in like coming up

the next Saturday in life which is Saturday coming but that's wrong that is wrong yeah that's this Saturday yeah correct you've got this Saturday and next Saturday okay thank you You've got the one after. Then you've got three weeks from now. Something that you guys make as well that I, you probably be shocked that no one else really has. Is an egg in a cup? What?

What a boiled egg in a wee holder? No, that's a boiled egg. But you know, you call it an egg in a cup. But that's what it is? It's not. It's like a mashed up egg with butter in a cup. Oh right, once you mash it up and all that's interesting. You call it.

I think you hold it an egg in a cup. Yeah, I think we do, but actually what I would take from that is a boiled egg and a wee holder that you would dip the soldiers, aren't they? But I'm not. I think I'm wrong then. Yeah. I forget that's an option. That's quite good on toast, actually. Never had it before. You could do that, but avocado.

You could make that quite nice. Fancy. Not schemy no more. I'm not schemy. Never have I ever been. Are you kunzel? No. What are you? Posh.

Just the theatre, just the theatre, kid. You said to me yesterday and I like it. You say when someone is being wide. Wide, a wide-o. What does that mean? Like getting brave? Yeah, like not nasty, just like a bit cheeky, like a bit twisted. Yeah, like kind of overstepping the mark of you.

Yeah. But if someone's like winding you up, you'd maybe say that I'll stop being wide. Okay. I feel like that's dying actually. I've not heard that in a while. Bring it back. I did say it yesterday, I think. Let's bring it back.

Right. Why do? You don't use this either, but Richard's family do. Adiniken. Says it a lot, an awful lot. And that's, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like he just drops it in random bits of the sentence.

No, that does mean I don't know. Dini Ken. Yeah, that is that. Rocket. I've heard you say that before. This is where. English and Scottish extremely differ

because it's rocket not something that English people use as a compliment No that's weapon weapon and a rocket weapon in a rocket you would say it as in like

they are fit attractive but that would probably be more about a men a man a southern man Cockney Geese are talking about a woman Yeah, we don't really use that in Leicester where I'm from But yeah, if I heard a guy saying that

I would think he was referring to someone being really fit Like a weapon is like top of the top dog Like worldy woman No A weapon and a rocket here is like An absolute Like embarrassment Like an absolute

Gimp Not even like just A weapon like a pain in the arsh like annoying embarrassing like making an arsh himself like just I don't know how I'll subscribe it's hard

that's all I can really say a weapon love it he's a weapon I know we can't really say this word but the CUNT I feel like it is we use it in a positive way

yeah like if someone's a good you can beat this out if someone's a good like it's a really endearing phrase to say but for us because

I think and I feel like Londoners as well when they say they would say can't and it sounds a lot more softer but where I'm from I've got such a it's just aggressive

and I don't think there's any way you could say it quite endearing but does that not if you look that up in the dictionary does that not actually mean vagina it does yeah in a really awful way so it's actually a really disgusting word

to use so we should never use it but yeah next is I like this as well and I said I accidentally use this either day to my at. Wynching. Wynching. Snogging. A wee winch at the weekend. We would say snog. We would say snog as well though. Would you?

Snog's a bit more like, ooh. Yeah, isn't it? Wynch is more like, oh wee hot kiss than the club. Okay. Wains, love that. He turned the wanes against us. My friend just came up the other day and I think it might have been Heather Schock, was talking to something gibberish and then she said wanes and my friend looked. like what did you just say and I was like that meets kids the kids the wains the wains

um shite bag if you didn't he we would say pussy ol if you don't pussy all pussy hole pussy hole pussy hole

which is awful as well I know but as a kid we would like pussy old if you don't there's nothing better then when someone won't do something when you say your shite bag then there's just nothing better

there's no worse insult shite bag now this is one always gets everyone riled up what do you call a dressing gown I call it a dressing gown what would you call it Marie now rich calls it a goony right I have heard that before

and weirdos call it a housecoat that has to stop I'm sorry I think that's so bizarre do you as a Scottish person you would never say housecoat I'm dressing gown. I think it's weird and people say how he's cool. I know that it's a thing

but I think it's strange. Is that schemy? I don't know actually. No, I think that's just there's two options. What one do you say? What one were you taught to say? Yeah.

I don't know if that's a difference in class in finance. Did you see someone actually messaged us? Was it on Patreon or Instagram? And you know how we were talking about the skitters? Yep. And then they said, that their mom calls someone at work skittalips because they chat so much shit.

I like that. That was brilliant, skittal lips. Um, now, Zoe, would you say, if I said the word mithering to you, what would you, what would that mean? What? Mithering. Don't even know what that is. What? But that could just be me being thick.

No, it's not you being thick. I've heard this is a Lester phrase or where I, where maybe like, English. But I, do you know what that is Murray? Nope, never heard of it. Wow. So, how do you even spell that? I would say something like, stop mithering me. Like annoying.

Stop bothering me, yeah. And I thought that was like a proper word, but it's obviously not. Another one that I think is just where I'm from is how would you say if you were brushing your hair and there was knots in it? What would you call that? Toggy. Tuggy. I would say all my hair is so tuggy. What?

Well, mine's worse. We would say cotty. I've got cots in my hair. I don't like that. Tangles, yeah. Tangle teasers. Yeah, cutty. Yeah, I'd maybe say, like, oh, that's different.

I feel like if I was, like, taking a bobble out and wet hair, I'd be like, oh, it's all tangled. Yeah. And if I was brushing it, I'd be, like, so tuggy. I love it so much. But how do you say, I would say, can you put a pleat in my hair? Platt. And, yeah. another thing you call. What are those things you call?

Curbys. Curbys? It's a grip to me. It's a curby grip. A curby grip. And what do you call a hair bubble? A bobble. A bobble? Not a hair tie. No, and not a hair band. A hair band goes around your hair.

But then people call that a headband. Yeah, I'd call that a headband. A hair band, I would call the one that the fabric one. No, a hair band, I would call the plastic one that goes behind your ears and you push it back. Yeah, it's going to be spiky bits in it. A headband. That'd be a hairband for me. Oh.

A headband would be like the ones that we wear it, it'd be cool. Yeah, interesting. What about get it up you? Love it. Get it up, yeah. Get it fucking up, yeah. Or get it round you. What's that mean?

Just same back to fuck off. What happens if I was stood here, right, and I just got your trousers and yanked them down? What's that called? Skanked. Skanked. I'd call it skanked as well. That's so weird you'd say that,

There's definitely other words for that. So there's a few. So my message does it say this. Skegged? Yeah. Breaked. No. Kegged.

And scanted. What would you call it? Scant. Scant. What about the phrase he doesn't know if he needs a shite or a haircut? Like he doesn't know his head from his ass. Yeah.

But I've never heard that before. What would you call a condom? A johnny. So we'd call a condom. like a dubber? Dubber. Why? I don't know. When I was younger it was like, is he got a dubber? But again, I wouldn't say Johnny. I would just say condom.

Of course you would. What do you call so a little tiny alleyway? I would just say a street. No, like a little one where you walk down. Path? No. It's in between houses and it's like close? No. We're. We'd call it a jitty.

Or some people call it an entry or an alleyway. I would just say an alleyway, I think. Interesting. Is there something that you think we call it? No, never heard it. But I would say the jitty. I mean, a close is more what our flat has. Like once you're...

In the close. In the first door, that's a close. Kind of like a hallway. but obviously it's not a hallway because it's different flats. Oh, you'd call an inside thing a close. I would you? Really? So a close to me is like a road where you can't get out of it until you turn back.

There's no other way through the close. I used to live on a road called Bracken Close. What, the dead end? Yeah, sorry, yeah, dead end. Coldysack. Coldysack. Yeah. Okay.

Venal. Never heard of that. Venil's a wee alleyway. Never heard of that. What about this? I'll wait and take your heed for a shite. A way and, yeah, like, go on and sort your head out. Yeah, I haven't really used that.

I like it. What do you call a plastic? A plastic band. A plastic band. We call it a laggy band. No, I think it's just plastic band. But this is more or less. stuff now I'm saying

well what's the are you talking about like the brown ones you buy yeah now I don't know I think it's just a plastic band laggy band um what if I was to say there's a chap at the door

what would that mean to Jess well I know that's Scottish but yeah I would never have had that before I moved here you knock at the door so you would say knock go knock the door yeah because chap down south means

man A man, yeah, a bloke. So the cap of the door would mean there's a man at the door. God, it's so close yet so far than his place. Do you know what else I love about English people as well? You've picked this up because Molly's psychic, but we always shorten words and make it just daft, like say no's.

There's a big thing going around on TikTok about the general lecture and being the Jenny Leck. Cost of Living Crisis is the cause he lives. I call an off-license the off-y. like weird shit like that I think we do that as well but just with different things yeah

but I can't really think what right now but I do quite like that we've spoke lots about this is again if you're quite common from Lester but you would say oh he's got a cob on meaning oh he's got the ump

did you say that no I wouldn't say any the arse um I would just believe he's in a mood in a mood yeah I wouldn't say that and what do you call a swimming costume bathing suit

I call it a swimming costume people call it a cosy yeah we'd call it a cosy or a coggy why what's with a cot I feel like you've said cocky for about ten things croggy coggy yeah

everything for me merges into one yeah yeah what's that one you just said do you want out yeah like that's just a noise but what you're actually seeing as do do you want anything

I said that a lot still Go and shop John out The problem is when you add the shop But at the start because it's just one noise It's like go and shop on it And it's like pardon And I would say things like go in bed I'm going bed

Yeah the two doesn't exist You don't know the word two But none of us do Like we're all the same Anyone listen to this that's Lester We are all the same Like we just are lazy It's weird

And more ways than one Do you want her as well? Do you want her? Do you want to? We would say do you want to. Do you want to? Do you want to do that? Do you know what Jason says, which I couldn't,

took me a while getting bored with this? The back door being the back garden. What? So like, do you want to sit out at the back door at such a nice day? I'm like, no, the door's the door. The door is the physical door that opens and shuts. But I always say, do you want to sit at the back? I would say out the back.

Yeah. You don't even need to say garden. Out the back's fine. Yeah. But like, the back door to him and his family and his pals and stuff is the garden. What? But he's from near you. I know, but the speech is different.

It is different. He says core for car. He does. And I'm like, the what, sorry? He's really, really glad to be you in. Yeah, he is. I don't even know if it's Glasgow. I think he does just have that sort of like slang about him. Yeah. I just don't really. And it's weird because my dad and his side definitely do speak quite slang. I think my mum's just kind of always connected me. And we're not posh at all. Like people obviously like Jason will be like, you just think you're posh. I'm like, it's not. She just has made me speak right. Properly. I don't speak proxly. Yeah, I speak properly.

but what I hate is people say instead of and you do it but I think it's an English thing so I try and not pick you up on it I would say like thick rather than thick yeah but that is thick

but I know English people it's kind of part of the way you're from sometimes down there but if people up here do it I think that I'm like you're uneducated like see when people have a business and they chat to the camera

and stuff and they do that I'm like, you've, I'm unsold. Yeah. Like you would put me off using you and your business because you don't know how to speak. You're giving snob. That's what you're giving. No, but that is annoying.

Like, I'm thinking about. Yeah, that is bad actually, thinking. That's so long. I don't say that. I don't go thinking. I do not, Zoe. I think sometimes you're honourable, we do. Yeah, I think, yeah, maybe.

I think, I think, I won't say thinking. No, but I think it's more the whole, the whole word's different for you, obviously, from your accent. Yeah. So something like Cockney, all do that. Yeah, they do. That's part of it. That's part of, you've learned that way.

But if you, you should speak how you write. Yeah. And that thinking triggers me as soon as someone on a video or something on it and my presence says that, I'm like, oh. You're thick. Forts. What's your thoughts? Imagine I said to you, what's your thoughts?

That's so wrong. I think I actually do that. And another one with that is three. Three. One, two, three, four. One, two, three. Grow up. I'd also say, um, if we were going out, I'd go, Yungre.

Younger. You're like, Yungri rather than you hungry. Oh, you hungry? Younger. Younger, elf. Youngry, me, look. What was that last bit there? Me doc.

That's what my grandma will call me. What's, is it? just you that calls your mum goose or is that a thing? No, it's called mum goose. But someone else in your group or something referred to their mum or someone as goose and I thought, is that a thing down there now? No, no.

Mother goose. Mother hen. Yeah, I mean, makes sense. What's the other thing? I went to Croatia to this festival and met this guy there that was from Aberdeen. And everything he said here was like everything at the end of each end.

is eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, and I, to the point when I thought, is this banter? Is he wind me up? Because, no, that's just what happens up there. Yeah. A lot of things happen up there. I drink, eh? From my Aberdeen, eh?

And it means, like, fick and like is how are you, I'm sure. What? But obviously they say it fast, it's like, it's like, how are you? And it's, how are you? And you're like. Yeah. It's just a completely different word.

I mean, lovely, lovely guy, mind you, but at the end of it, I thought, I thought, I thought, I couldn't get on board with it. No. Anyway. I think that's us. But you all continue to amaze me every single day. I think the conclusion of that conversation is that we've got the better banter, and that's just a given. For sure. I'm not even going to disagree. I think your banter is definitely better, but when you do get a bunch of Lester people together, it's so funny.

like we change the we say that put cackle on but that is just us joking but we'll talk like we're from like coronation street

pop cackle yeah when we're around like you Holly and Cain all at once it gets a bit but that for me is my favourite

because you all start shouting babby and all that's too much you're like babby I love the Lester Swang like there's nothing about it more

that makes me smile so much I love it but it is the same as you like if you wanting to take the piss and act a bit rough you would purposely

talk more slang. Yeah, there's times where I catch myself speaking more slang. You do when you're around Jason, big time. The whole accent changes. Ooh, that's minging. Yeah, you do. When you're on the phone to him, I'm like, who is this person? A, I hate that. You won't notice you do it though. No, I do actually notice I do it. I think it's because if he said something to me like, no, I can't he do that, can you do this? I'd be like, no, I can't he do it? Yeah, and you don't speak like that?

No, I don't really. It does depend too. But I don't like noticing other people change their accent. Yeah. I find that quite triggering, so I need to stop that. We spoke about it before, but the Glasgow Uni accent. I'm still unsure what that is, but that seems to get rinsed all the time online. You've instantly lost me when you start speaking like that.

But what is it? Because it's a fake accent. But what is it? It's just like, I can't even. You can? All you need to do is put one foot could be in the West End, one foot could, be out of it and you'll hear it instantly. Just speak like it then. I can't because I can't think right now. Say I can't think right now. I can't, can't. I can't think right now.

Stop! I got to Glasgow uni. I know exactly what you mean. Do you like go to naked suit for lunch? A upward infliction. It's going to be marvellous. It's just there's just this like annoying twang at the end of each word. I think that's it that might have been wrong but everyone who's listening and has experienced it

or has put the accent on will know exactly what we're talking about so you fuckers you better stop it well thanks for that guys we hope you enjoyed those English Scottish phrases I'm sure there's going to be many more weird and wonderful things

as time goes on but before we go I'm going to pass over to Zoe we've got exciting news big news huge anyway we touched on it last week and we've got an

event coming where you can join us and pester us kisses and kisses oh zoie so much yay anyway we are doing an event a food festival shall we call it a mini food festival a mini food festival with dot guard social yay how fun because they both love that place anyway love love love love and thank it's perfect few little piggies so especially perfect for the summer as well I hope it's sunny and the shirt-shank came up and it's just like sunny day vibes. Anyway, it's the 21st of July, Sunday. And it's two sittings.

There's 12 until half two. Yep. Half two until five. So you can choose which one suits you west. Yep. We will be there for both of them and the same energy, the same mood.

Whoop, whoop. For the both. Unless Jess gets pushed for the second one. Excuse me, speak for yourself, honey. I don't drink anymore. You will be drinking at that? No, I won't be. Why?

Because I don't drink any more. Shut up. You said you were drinking till your holiday and that would have been and gone. Just. Anyway, so we are going to be there. It's going to be super fun. We want to actively encourage you

to bring your other halves with you as well. We don't want this to just be always full of girlies. I mean, your other half might be a girly. You never know. But bring just, we want it to just be more like a nice social day thing. A nice Sunday activity Yeah And I mean

You are more than welcome To go and get absolutely If you really fucking want to I'm sure there'll be many people doing that Which I might join you on that one But we want it to be more of a Summer day vibes Sunday

Really good food Really good chat Nice music We can all mingle Great venue So yeah let's just have it And maybe a few surprises from us Yeah

Just maybe. Yeah. Just want it to be more like a little social get-together as opposed to a big, huge party-party. Tickets will be on sale this Friday from 12 unless you're a PPP and you're on Patreon. You will get access at 9am.

So you've got three hours to secure your tickets. And there isn't many at all. I think in total, across the two sittings, 500 yeah so 250 each sitting um and yeah there's thousands of you guys so bear that in mind be quack don't mess around and it's a really nice value for money as well yeah tickets will be 20 pound and that's your entry and a drink yeah and then we're going to have some fun wee foodie bits at each of the vendors and we'll design a dish with each of the vendor and then there'll be like a special price as well be really nice day out well well we hope to see you

You can also bring your dogs or cats. Just if anyone has, let me know so I can take some pirating before you arrive or else I'll actually collapse. But that's fine. It's part of the fun. Absolutely. Okay. Well, thanks for tuning in to another week of a lot on your plate. And we hope to see you on Friday.

If not, see you next Tuesday. Bye! Bye!