A Lot On Your Plate - S4 Ep19: Spice up your sex life

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Welcome to our deep dive into relationships, part two! This week we focus on marriage and the biggest one of all, SEX. We share more of our social poll results and read through messages and advice from our lovely listeners. We hope you and enjoy and as always, hope this advice and open conversation helps you or a friend🫶🏻  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday, Podpiggies. Happy Tuesday! We are back and ready to go. Let's get ready. Let's get ready. Let's get ready to rumbo. Also, a very important note at the start of this. This is our, and if you know, you know, the ultimate episodes.

That big long word. That caused a lot of confusion a few seasons ago. It really did. Because did you not just blurt it out and I'll be, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. I've got on a big iPad if you're looking on the YouTube. So do you think I look a bit? profess because we get so triggered by the phones by the way we're going to have

we're going to have Q cards next season for sure because we are aware that some if you watch it does sometimes look like we're not interested looking at our phone but we've got a very structured note on our phone each week of what to talk about so that is why we look there we're not just you know scroll and tick-tuck and do you think I look good in red guys because she does I do my mother always told me that when I was younger and he's like no I hate red but now I do think it compliments my skin tone my mum looks really good in red too and you are similar and also

what's really lucky at what did you say? I said very similar I thought you went don't say that it's like that's nasty or that we actually brought the same outfit today but thankfully Jess at the second option she also brought this exact shirt

and the dark jeans we would have and the black jeans and we've got like operators on anyway so anyway mudflowers are the week we haven't had them for a couple of weeks but we have but we've just had mixed recording dates

but to me they are beautiful actually they look like white roses eucalyptus I think there's a couple of white peonies in there and we're not quite sure what the other small flowers are not baby's breath is it no it's not baby's breath interesting that's called we I think it is that's kind of giving me like a bride's bouquet

it's really beautiful and can I just say thought of the week was what a fantastic job a flower delivery man has or woman because when are you ever disappointed when you receive a big bunch of flowers they must have some right responses

absolutely never by the way you're right that's a really nice job to have so I was actually mopping my shutter door bit and so my door was open and he came and he just lent in and he gets Jess and I was like oh my God they're beautiful and I thought I wonder how many people

actually have that sort of reaction and it probably lifts their spirits as well yeah and he was laughing at me like oh have a nice day oh that is nice anyway this week's spitter swallow was actually a bit of a last minute addition

to today's episode because we just weren't going to have one because the timing we've just eaten whatever anyway we passed Big Bear Bakery in the West End in Partrick and we got a cherry bakewell almond croissant

it does look dynamite to be fair pass that up um but next season right you know how we like to support small businesses and initially this whole spit or swallow segment was meant to be to try foods that were a little bit controversial and we ended up doing it more where we support small businesses and of course we do love that so much but if there's anything that you want us to try please send it to us anything viral but also if you have a small business please send it our way we will happily support you gives a go then that is nice is it it's always been really good with her um eating for a few weeks now aren't you and all i want is a bad of daily milk have it then last week's

episode was we thought it was great we listened to it back a lot um there was a few cuts made because as you can imagine, there's things that we share that we maybe didn't want to put out there into the world. But there was a lot we kept in because we felt like it would be quite relatable and help a lot of you guys. But thankfully, and we knew it would be, the feedback we've had from that episode has been probably the best we've had yet. A lot of you guys love it, female and males.

We showed a little bit more of a vulnerable side. It wasn't less of the producers alike. It was not very much a more of a ha-ha episode like we usually do. But I think we like that from time to time, don't we? Yeah, I think it's just difficult, like, see when you listen back, it's so hard to not be like, have I ever shared. But that's kind of like how we feel every week. Like we just obviously want to make sure that we're not saying something that we shouldn't or whatever. Yeah.

And conversations like that, it's even more difficult because you're talking about other people. Yeah. And even past experiences, yeah, they probably won't even know, listen, whatever. But you just don't want to be too disrespectful or we're both in a relationship now. Of course. So you don't want to overshare on your current or your past because of that. So we hope that we were open enough about experience. I think we were.

And we'll try and keep it that way moving forward. Yeah. So we just want to read out a couple of messages that we've had from you guys. And bear in mind this episode has been out a couple of days. So I know it takes you a while to catch up. But already we've had the amount of views on the YouTube that we'd probably take for a week to get, wouldn't we? Yeah. It's been good.

I think people are just wanting to see you. Have a little fear. love that for me anyway we were actually debating cutting that out but I thought you know what

it is what it is isn't it well I said to you I think it's nice to keep that and it's raw and also you weren't like

breaking down in tears you were just emotional about an emotional time yeah that I think it would be different

if you weren't out of that yeah exactly because you can look back and flex and whatever on it's not there's nothing wrong with having a cry

we all should be sharing our motions from time to time absolutely so love this episode so much also appreciate how raw and open the conversation between you both was that can't have been easy to put that out for the world to hear so thank you on behalf of your listeners because that's going to help so many people i love that needed to hear this episode needed in capitals that's important so much right now i've been with my boyfriend for x amount of years this year and have been going through those exact in capitals again feelings you guys brought up this episode i'm definitely going to try the midweek date night idea to bring us closer together and the note to get all my feelings out there thank you so much for sharing insights into your relationships

and making me feel a little bit more normal about having a wobble I love that today's episode wall had me right in the feels and has actually made me realise I'm going through a seven-year blip at the moment with her 10-month-old baby thrown into the mix I need to make sure we do date nights

and spend more time just us too I feel like our world has done a whole three-sixth of the past few years and I really needed to put us first even if it's once a fortnight so I really needed to listen to this today thanks girlies stop and this one's a nice one I just wanted to reach out and say thank you for today's podcast. I was at exactly where Jess was this time last year

and didn't feel like I could talk to my friends about it. Thankfully, out the other side now, but it's oddly refreshing to know that all couples do go through the same thing. See? And then we had one from our loyal, lovely male listener. We have a lot of male listeners, but one in particular we love. We enter that quite a lot. And we're not going to share the name because, you know.

But what a brilliant episode, one of the best, Really interesting and insightful, but as always bloody hilarious. So good to hear relationships discussed at a relatable level with the advice that you can use versus it being deep in psychological theory and therapists speak. Also good for it not being boy bashing. We love men. We said we didn't do it and we didn't do it. We can touch on it, but it won't go full pelt.

Exactly. But anyway, thank you so much. We love hearing all your feedback. Yeah. Makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside, I'd say. It does, because when you have a vial video go out on Instagram, let me tell you some comments aren't very good for the old noggin. Jesus Christ, guys. The past two videos you've put out, the back of five and the out with, and even the kilt one, wow.

Do you know what I've noticed? Maybe not just TikTok, but I've noticed TikTok is definitely going down the route of, like, a bit how Facebook is. There's a lot of older people on there that have really strong. nasty opinions and they voice it so vocally and they have their little call of just trolls together and it always seems to be the people that have like snapchat filter display pictures and you're never going to be able to really fully make them out yeah and they just have like two followers i'm not talking like fake accounts i'm talking like it is really them yeah but it might have like a rangers um shirt as their dp and they're just talking really horrendous about us and

And I just think, Jesus, get a life, like, what? I just think it says more about them than us. And I've told you before, these people saying these things are pleasure in themselves. Whatever is? Yeah. I don't know about that. But anyway, I just find the open trolling on a viral video is so savage. People get angry about things that don't matter.

It's just not that deep. It's also just their opinion. It doesn't matter. It's a lighthearted conversation. and there's a lot more to the conversation if you listen to the podcast that's not that one clip is not the whole episode anyway moving on

this week we're going to speak more about the sexual side of relationships but also covering a bit on marriage too yep because we put out the polls for last week's ep and we included marriage and some sexual bits we did so we'll dive right into that shall we

so the first one was is getting married important to you we had yes always wanted to not really fuss but wouldn't say no partner wants it more than me and not for me so we had 54% saying yes always wanted to interesting 37% not really fuss but wouldn't say no that's probably where i'm at yeah three percent partner wants it more than me and six percent not for me interesting yeah i just feel like a lot of people now are probably they're not really fast but wouldn't say no yeah like it's not that you don't want to marry the person it's just that you're not bothered about marriage in general and there was a couple of messages on response to that saying I'm a little bit different to any of these um answers

I've been married before and I'm divorced but I probably would marry again or I don't see the point in marry again marrying again yeah right so we're going to read out a few messages from our listeners in each segment of this episode because there was a lot a listener's message on marriage love this question as it's always spoke about my friend group none of us are married but all in long-term relationships my four best friends think marriage is so important and really want it me on the other hand is not too bothered i don't know why maybe because i've spoke about it with my boyfriend and he's got the same thoughts as me when you love each other as much as you do just now why should you get married it shouldn't change anything like just because you're married shouldn't mean you love them even more than being in a long-term relationship your love for each other other should always be unconditional and loyal whether you're married or not. One of my girls says she just wants to be married because of thought of being in your 80s and referring to your man as my boyfriend is quite icky, which to be honest, yes, that's maybe true.

So looking forward to this discussion on the pod. I call Richard my partner though a lot of the times. Yeah, you do do that actually. Check that's like came with age. Yeah, definitely. It was my BF. My man, my man. I don't know.

Yeah, I would just still always say boyfriend. but I do think when you say it in a situation with like someone you don't know at all and you would say me and my boyfriend have been there because you wouldn't say their name because you don't know who that is I do sometimes feel about like

What are your thoughts Zoe when someone gets engaged and they start referring to them as their fiancé I just don't know if I could say it I know same but then if you call your boyfriend then it's like your friends would be like wait a minute

you're engaged no I know I think just stick with maybe we go up to partner at that stage Yeah. I just agree with this, right. Listen, I am in the same 37% of I'm not really fussed, but I definitely wouldn't say no to marry him, of course.

But, yeah, I just don't know what that would change for me in Richard. But people have said that when they get married, that it just feels different. When you say out loud, that's my husband or that's my wife, it just feels different and you have this sort of like really nice bond from the wedding day, the honeymoon. if you have all that. I think the issue is when people marry the wrong person

or they've like committed to the marriage before it's even happened and then they still go through with it. Once that newlywed bubble's gone people then don't work because without that sort of bubble of marriage around them they actually realise that that's not real life to an extent. Yeah.

Like once all that fun and games is gone then a relationship should just be a relationship. Yeah. So unless you're kind of, working already the way you should be to get married you then maybe feel like it falls apart about it but these 54% of that I've always wanted to that definitely will stem from them probably being a little girl no I know always seen their parents as well being married I might have looked up to them thinking I want that love what my parents have got see I don't have that so I don't know

if that is the reason but I mean it could it can send from anything but they might have loved romantic films and thought I want that sort of love or they want the whole wedding It's just never been I've never had that dream Like the little girl dream That we're talking about just now I've not But there might not even be a reason for that

I think it's just It is what you like what you like I mean see to be honest I thought of picking a fucking wedding dress Is enough to put me off I wouldn't know what the hell to wear I'd want to put a suit on I think I'm saying

Right we have another lovely message here I split up from my husband Around Christmas time After just getting married in October 2022 and buying a new house the following year. Loll, nightmare. And I was absolutely mortified because I was worried what people would think and because I'm 30. We were together for 10 years and he wasn't, isn't a bad guy whatsoever, but I just wasn't right for me in the end. I think we'd just grown apart. I fell out of love

and couldn't see a way past it. At first people were like, what the actual fuck? But to be honest, I'm five minutes on now and back in my old room at my mum and dad's, which isn't ideal, but I honestly cannot remember the last time I was discontent and happy which people are noticing. at the gym. I've done a girl's trip. I'm going to somewhere with the family and have another girl's trip booked for somewhere in November. Things I've always wanted to do, but couldn't because of responsibilities, financial, etc., and now living with my absolute best life. My advice would be fuck what people think and do what's best for you and what makes you happy, even if you think you're going to upset people, it's only short term. It's so cliche, but you are only here once,

so it may as well make the most of it. I'm not interested in the slightest right now, but from a future partner I just want them to enjoy living life and doing fun things making memories and not taking things too seriously love the pod I think that's a really nice message same and I think that hopefully brings comfort to people too totally because I'm at that age now where I've got friends going through this sort of same experience where they got married and they divorced really quick yeah or they have been with a long-term long-term partner who they've probably only ever been with and it's quite daunting to think what is life without them yeah and they've split from them and they've got this whole new life and yes it's not easy but they are coming out of

the other side now and like she says you do only live once we spoke about settling in the last episode that if you're brave enough and i know it's it's easier said than done but you will always get through the other side absolutely even if you do have to move back in with your parents or somewhere, then you will start getting back on your feet and finding your next path in life. I mean, people say a breakup to an extent is like grief. Yeah. You're grieving your old life. Yeah. And you're also grieving that person because to you, the typical way to break up with someone is to cut them out your life. Yeah. Unless there's ties there that you can't avoid. So to you, you almost act as if they are dead. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And like even

know there's social media and all that now typically speaking you probably won't interact anymore or you'll delete them off it or whatever so they're just gone so it is going to be a big adjustment it's a big change and it will be hard whether you're the one that made the decision or not yeah very interesting the change of it that's hard I think yeah yeah with most no totally now let's move on a little bit to children and marriage so a couple people messages about marriage as well, but it also involved children or wanting to have children, which I think just puts a bit of a different spin on

it too. Yeah. So someone messages saying, not being able to have kids, it was a huge shock and took a long time to figure out what was next. After exploring adoption for two years, which was the most heartbreaking experience to discover that it was not right for us, having to rewrite our future and get excited for a new chapter took us through so many lows and I almost lost all hope.

If it wasn't for the fact that I married my best friend and we make the most solid team, I don't know we could have survived the last four years. We decided to make a huge leap of faith and start a new chapter in Dubai. We move in a few months' time and can't wait to have this adventure with my gorgeous husband.

I'm so proud of us. Life throws us obstacles when we least expect it and I react to things completely differently from other half. But I'm living time and space to heal as individuals and also as a couple has actually made us stronger than ever and I'm so grateful I get to do life with him, communication and allow space.

Oh, that's a lovely message. It's obviously really upsetting this. situation but they're making the best of what they can and i think that is a great move to Dubai it's a great place with people that um probably don't have children or a bit more like an expat community yeah and i think they'll thrive in that okay so we asked for some advice from our listeners for keeping the relationship alive long term so we actually had a message on our patreon direct messages this was this was nice i wanted to share some relationship advice i've given to friends before, but only when they've asked. I've been in relationship with my husband for 11 and a half

years and I've been married for five. Number one, communicate openly about expectations you have for each other, especially when if you live together, even if you might think something is common knowledge slash sense, courtesy, always communicate whatever it is with your partner. Two, find hobbies and interests to share together, but also have your own hobbies and interests. You can enjoy without them, which we both massively agree, don't we? Yeah. Three, it can. It can't can be healthy to fight and argue, but only when you and your partner are able to learn and grow from the fight together. I like that one.

And never sleep on it. Obviously there is so much more that goes into having a healthy and happy relationship, but those are the three bits of advice I found myself giving to others when they've asked. That's very wise. Yes. I also like how they've said when they've asked. Yeah. Because I do think because you want advice and stuff from your friends, you want to go to them.

but there's nothing worse than when you kind of turn unsolicited advice yeah or like turn their opinion so badly that then it's just negative every time after that which I feel as adults I've not really experienced luckily

and I hope that I don't give that off either but I remember when you were younger going out with people and they would like do something it was like I hate them I just hate them I mean I would never say that to you now even if I thought Richard could do things better I wouldn't be like I hate him

do you know what I mean that's probably why a lot of friends by the way are afraid to speak to their friends about their relationship because judgment they don't want number one and their family they actually don't want their family or friends to think bad of their partner

because they might be going through a blip and there's maybe certain things said in a relationship that other people can't forgive they're like oh remember that time when he said that to you there you do always have those friends that remember the bad stuff all the time and I think that can be quite toxic I think when you just want to have and they want to mend you of it yeah and all you want to do is just have a friend there

just to give you some advice. But maybe that's why a lot of people find comfort in messaging us because we don't know them that deep. We'll never judge their partner. But it is sad that some people feel like they can't talk to, you know, and they keep it with bottled up. Unless it was just all the time this person was just toxic and you're always falling out.

There's only so much that your friend can take before they're like, come on, like you two are not made for one another. or like it's just like the person that cries wolf they'll always you're running to your friends for help and advice only when you're having a shit time yeah and all it's like the information falls on deaf is what we tell you you never gonna listen to me anyway so why you've got to the point where I'm not bothered anymore I know and are you using me I don't know yeah gets like that another bit of advice always protect a small piece of yourself and keep you Keep it safe just for you. Never rely solely on one person to provide your happiness. You should always be your number one priority. That is so true. You will never find true happiness if, well, firstly, happiness is not a destination.

It's a way of life. I like that. There we go. But you have to put yourself first. And if you're not happy within yourself to some extent, you'll never really find happiness truly with your partner because you're depending on that from them. and I think that's when like generally speaking

that's when relationships don't work and that's why people say don't jump into something after you've just ended something either because there's no the chance of you being happy after just ending something as slim so then you're going to just fill that void with another person yeah rebounding and then it just all comes crumbling down yeah I know a lot of people that jump from relationship to relationship

and I'm not saying it's a bad thing because it might just be right person, right time or whatnot. But, yeah, I think that they haven't really grieved or taken a step back about that past relationship and just thought, this is why it didn't work. You actually deflected on what they liked, didn't like, why it didn't work, why it worked, like all that sort of thing. I think that's really important to do that.

Yeah, so quite a few people messaged us about couples therapy and I think, again, going back to the age thing, I think if I was a bit younger, that would have never been an option. And I think therapy is now quite widely spoken about in terms of just like individual therapy as well as couples therapy. I do know a lot of people that have been and have,

there is nobody that has ever come away from therapy from what I know and haven't found it useful in some way. If you go to a good therapist, that is, I'd imagine. But I do think that that doesn't ever mean that it's failed. I think it's just a way of, openly speaking to somebody that is like a devil's advocate. Yeah, definitely. That will give you some advice and help.

And I don't think it means you've failed in your relationship, but I actually think it's really brave to do that. I was just going to say, like, how can anyone look at you trying to make something work or trying to better yourself or better your relationship or whatever as a negative? But there is a lot of, I'm going to say guys here because I've heard them, but they're like, we don't need therapy. Oh, fuck that. I'm not going to go and speak to a stranger about

and I understand that's quite daunting I get it and I think I'd probably feel that way as well I don't want to sit in a room with a stranger but if you really struggle to communicate with your partner and you're constantly rowing having somebody there to listen and keep it calm and you can just voice your frustration to somebody else whilst I sat there listening

and the therapist is saying to them right you be quiet that is a really good way of it is it like the mediocre of the room yeah they're stopping you from just heading back with what you want to say. I also feel like it's important as well to think not everyone's been brought up the same either. So you've maybe been allowed to speak that way to your parents

or your siblings or whatever or you've not. Or like you had an upbringing where you witnessed a lot of that behaviour so you think it's okay. So that's where therapy's helpful too I'd imagine for people. Because it's not just that you two as a couple aren't getting along. It's like no you two as people need help and how it handle situations.

and life, not just with each other. Yeah. Quick shout out for my mother. She'd kill me if I do. But my mum actually is a qualified therapist and she is wanting to specialise in couples. That woman has been through an awful lot in her life and she's amazing at conversations

and getting right in an abutate. She gets deep and I like that. See, I struggle with that because I'm obviously her daughter but having like a therapist as a mom or somebody that's interested. like psychology. She has been since years and years and years. But obviously she isn't able to give me therapy. You can't give your family therapy. And I don't know anything about people she's given therapy to because of client confidentiality. But what I do know is I've seen like reviews and messages of how much she's changed people's lives and just help them. So

yeah, she's a really good person. If you are looking for someone, you don't even know where to start with couples therapy or even just therapy in general. the way um she's she can relate to an awful lot in her life um she might be somebody she's at conversations with polly on instagram so you can give her a little message good on her and she i won't know anything because she isn't allowed to say anything she hasn't allowed to say i not even if she wants to yeah she does zoom calls but if you are based in east midlands you could do face-to-face i think but yeah she'll be a fully um qualified psychotherapist next year but she's i think a level four therapist at the moment if people care about credentials i don't know what

it means. No idea but I'm sure it is important. Yeah. Anyway there you go, mother. She would like that. She'll be buzzing. She will be buzzing. Anyway, let's move on to the nitty gritty. The dirtiness. Yeah, go on there. The naughtiness. Yep. The subject

we all call SEX. Sex. Okay, so anyone wasn't sure. Anyway, we're back to the stats. I hope people enjoy these stats because I do. I do. It's really interesting. interesting. No, it is. And I think it's important because again, it just shows that...

I was quite relieved by this one. There's never a one person. Yeah. And we're just looking at our group of followers, listeners, whatever. So you widen that, it's only going to get wider for each category, right? So we've got, we asked, how often you have sex and this is for people living together and in a relationship. only because we're focused on relationships and how to keep them working but also if you're single it's quite hard to gauge like are you just you dating someone and you're having mad sex all the time

or are you single and just not what I'm interested like it would make more sense of you know keeping the spark alive was kind of the topic so that would tend to be like a long term relationship absolutely yeah so we had most days which was 7%

thank God I was believing I saw that I thought, God. Who can be arsed? I can be fucked. We're busy. Who can be barked? One to two times a week. I'm going to go with that once.

Let's round it down. 51%. That was over a thousand people, by the way. Good on you. One to two times a month was 30%. And it's been a while was 11%. And that was like, Nearly 300 people.

Yep. But one to two times a month was still a higher number. 6.40. I just think all these things you need to take a lot of things in into consideration, right? One being schedule. Schedule. People work away, people work different hours, people work different schedules. What did it mean scheduling sex, by the way?

I mean just our general live schedule, yeah. You're maybe nights out there or not. You get home, they're sleeping. blah, blah, blah. There must be at least like shift patterns and things. Yeah, five days a month where you're not going to bed or in that sort of head space together.

There's also five days a month where you're probably on your period. Exactly, that's what I was going to say. As women, if anyone's like me, there's about 30 days a month that you've got a urine infection. Kid on, that's just not related to. I just can't even relate them anymore. But then there's also things

like holidays, travelling there's just so many different things so that if people... But there's also, let's take into consideration here that they may be having a bit of a tough time with their partner, so it's been a while because they've lost that. That's what else I was

going to say. If you're going through a blip that you feel, or even if you're not going through a blip, right, you have a stupid argument over something. There's one or two days gone. Yeah. Out of a week. And then you go away with your friends for a week or then they do. Exactly. You're knack-knackard.

Guys, I'm knackard. Fat and shattered. Fat and shattered and knackered. And I look disgusting in my fluffy pajamas. I don't want to shaggy right now. Like, we all feel the same. That's not lie. We do.

And we did say this actually, Zoe. We forgot to ask this. But do you guys sleep naked? Because I listened to a podcast once that was initiating how to re-light a spark in a relationship. And they said that sleep naked. like as Richard does Skin to skin skin is actually a very intimate thing

and I think that does and I do I'll share this but if I do for some reason have get hot or take my top off because I do wear like pajamas but not I'm not talking like flipping onesie here but it just

why not a little bra top up but if I do have my top off or whatnot Richard is like hello hello hello hello my girls and it just feel nice it just feel nice so I knew it like spooning away

but I think if I did that every single night I'd be at it like rabbits I'm sure I don't know maybe not but just tell us in DMs do you sleep naked do you find that spice up your sex up a bit more or your pyjamas girly maybe your man's a pajama boy I've said it before we love pyjamas

yeah like when we have done what we need to do for the day it's pajama time yeah we like to like I just like wearing pajamas me too we watch the telly in our pajamas like that's just that's our chill clothes essentially do you feel cold naked because I do

Baltic yeah but I do get quite hot and bothered a lot at night which I will take my top off sometimes but I wouldn't say it's that often but I don't think I would ever get into bed top it's more like a middle of the night half sleeping tops off then I wake up like oh fuck let the girls out during the night

but I do definitely think that would spice things up I think it would it would for me anyway like I do think it would. But I mean the average, well, more than half was one to two times a week. That's great.

Good for you. Good for fucking you. Who initiates it? Me, 10%. I'm guessing that was mostly women. That would make sense. 10%. Partner, 51%.

Horny men? Both of us, 13%. 39% That's nice That's nice, yeah I would say I am Honestly, I am a mix

Between all three of them Honestly, I am So I would say I'm all three of them No, I would agree with you then It just depends on my Mood I'm a horny pig

When I'm on my period But he didn't want to go there I know A lot of people say that And it's really unfortunate It is, isn't it? It's shit actually Yeah, I don't know

I would say I'm all three no same i just think it depends on circumstances and it also will come to this with a message that we had but i think both is important i think this started the you asked a question you're going to ask a question of do you have sex sometimes to just tick a box because let's be honest here a lot of women i have an awful lot of friends we've had this conversation where they'll say oh just really can't be asked or I'm not up for it and so many women fear that that's an issue or they worry that there's something wrong with them or they don't fancy their partner but they do it's just they just their libido is low and honestly I don't really have like a humongously

high sex drive but we all go through it we all go through stages where we just really just are not up for it doesn't mean that we don't fancy our partner maybe you maybe you don't but I definitely do I think there's quite a hard balance as well because a lot of people say to not leave it until you're getting into bed because with that point one of you out the two if not the both of you are probably shattered but anyway this goes on quite nicely to we were chatting about how did someone write it in or did we heed it somewhere about how four play starts in the day yeah which I'm a big advocate for this actually I'm the same I really can't I can't relate to this that much because I feel like Richard does is really great with all those things that we've written down. But I'm going to try and relate to somebody in a situation where their partner doesn't give them much attention or compliments or... But I think even if they do,

it's quite important to maybe realize that that's kind of what's happening. That's maybe not the intent, but it's quite a good thing. If you feel you get that but don't give it, then maybe you should, maybe it'll kind of re-like that for them. Because we were saying... It's more of like men's expectations that a woman would have sex with them when it's like, wait a minute, you've fucked me off all day. Yeah.

You've not cleaned the house or done whatever you were meant to do. You've not said one nice thing to me. You've not asked me how my day was. I've cooked your dinner. You've not, you left your plate. Why the hell do you think I'm going to then spread my legs for you, mate? You can fuck off. Absolutely.

It is true though, Zoe. Well, if you're in that mindset, you don't feel good about someone. By the way. Yeah. I'm just talking from our perspective here, but. That's what I mean. Like, having arguments or your partner's behavior. and day-to-day life will and can affect your sex life

because if you're not feeling good about them or they're not doing anything for you to fancy them that day obviously as a whole you fancy your partner because it's the main reason you've ended up together as with a nationally fancing each other but you still need to fancy them day to day and like them whereas you go through days you don't like your partner because they're annoying you

yeah I mean you're not going to have then have sex of them but I don't know I wouldn't that just wouldn't feel right for me no me too so what we were saying was foreplay isn't just the touching each other up it's like the compliments a bit flirting your behaviour towards each other nice gestures

and just treating you well like an all rounder that all leads to then wanting to touch each other wanting to kiss and yeah be like ooh bloody bloody have you seen that page on Instagram with the little chicks or

no is it little chicks or ducks or something like that and it's like it's just all these videos about this wee couple yeah but they're obviously chicks say

and it's like when when you're going to sleep so then one tries to fall asleep and then one's like so then that like say it's the guy puts the phone down

yeah oh I've seen this light goes off something else and then they keep doing it until it's like they turn round the cuddle in but there's a

Jason showed me last night there's a whole page on videos I fucking love it it's just really relatable well isn't it? Because we're all the same as women, aren't we? We are. I want to go to sleep with you like cuddled into me, like not whilst you're on your phone. Get off your phone.

Yeah, unless I'm shattered down what you do, but you want it on my way. But when I put my phone down, we're just like your battery's gone, hasn't it? I'm like, yes. This leads us on nicely to make up sex. What are your thoughts on having makeup sex? I feel like this is where the sort of like women comes out in me. Yeah. Because I just don't necessarily agree.

obviously it depends circumstances whatever right but I just feel like yeah it'll come obviously because it naturally will but I just kind of rush into that on the night of also having the blazing row

just feels off for me yeah I think then you would naturally have a nicer day the next day when you're almost like oh that's us back in love like we've got rid of that problem and then you have like a nice And then it would just naturally lead into that, whereas I just really don't like girls that, again, we're talking women to men here, but I just don't like when they almost feel like that sort of gets them back in the good book. Yeah. And like gives the man what they want.

I agree with you. Yeah, it's probably not actually going to happen because you've maybe got that sort of like excitement, passion of like, yay, we like each other again. But I don't know that I like the term makeup set. Yeah. But then there is some women that really love it because they're getting a really good shag out of me. And it's kind of that sort of like angry passion. Right, we've got a funny question here. Two people wrote this in.

Is a small dick a deal breaker? Shouldn't laugh because, you know, poor sods I can't help it, but... Can't help. We've got a chode. Chode. Hmm. Any personal experience or thoughts on that one? yeah it is final answer

for me personally yeah it was is yeah yeah shame real shame but like we say

it's a massive part of a relationship and if it's just not there no pun intended then it's really difficult but we had a message

from somebody yeah right here we're go. So I've met someone whilst travelling at the start of the year. Unexpectedly we kept in touch and we met up last weekend. The boy bloody flew five hours across

Australia to see me. He is so perfect, very handsome, family man, so funny, but there's just a small issue. His manhood is a little small and I know it's not all about the sex and I wish I could look past it but I'm not really sure what I should do, help.

Aw, that's a tough one. I think it's I don't think overall you would say it's an issue if you know what I mean because it's like well if you don't really if you personally don't really notice it in a situation or it's not

actually tiny you maybe just think it's a bit smaller or whatever but how small are we talking here this is a thing like no I know like a micro penis I don't know how can that physically go in a hole I just don't want to be mean because I know it's like they can't help it and that's a really

real shame. It's not like, you know, like people have a flat chest, they can go and get a boob job. I know. I do feel it's really bad. Like, can you get a, a willy job? Willey growth? Probably. Turkey. But I don't know. To answer her question, I feel like there's other ways that you can be in a relationship with someone. Doesn't always have to be like penis penetration. You could, you could experience things differently. Well, that's what I was going to see if it doesn't affect your attraction to them yeah that's a shame

I don't know I know it's quite a hard one right but see if you're still like see if that happened then once you found that out you were looking at them and all you could think about was fuck he's got a small dick that was too much swearing him one I'm sorry then there's your answer

no you can't see past it but even your nice words about this person you're quite clearly still into them and attracted to them so as you said is there ways around it like can you get a toy and just pretend it's the willy yeah maybe you could

that's an option I mean the guy's going to know he's got a small willy if it's small enough for you to yeah if it's worried about what you're making it out yeah so I wouldn't say end it just yet honey I would say if he's all he sounds like a really nice person yeah then definitely just

keep trying person of you hope that you wake up one day and it's bigger hey listen I love honey there's some massive deal knows you can right we had a really good message here about the importance of keeping sex alive in a relationship from a female point of view I think it's so important for both people

to make an effort with sex being the only instigator and rejected on a regular basis so this is a woman speaking here whether their reason is because they've got an early night get up they are tired or simply not in the mood it can be absolutely soul destroying when you are just trying to keep the physical love alive I think sex is crucial to a loving, healthy relationship

and can be so much more than just a physical act thank you for letting me say my peace I love you guys and the real honesty on the podcast I think that's very valid information hearing it from a female perspective of being the one that was rejected I mean we don't hear that often because I suppose we're not really speaking to

guys where they're saying oh my partner doesn't want to have sex with me or whatever but it also makes you think about it from my guy's point of view as well because as we've said typically speaking the guy is the one initiates it more, is pushing for it more it's probably more up for it day to day so it's like

they will feel that too yeah eventually if it was constantly getting rejected yeah it can be very nice for yourself esteem and also just thinking like what's the point I know exactly and I think that's actually important to keep in mind like as a woman if you feel that you maybe do the rejection quite a lot then try and use summer advice today to sort of spice it up and just give it a fucking good

go give them a good ride ride's your life right then how to spice up the sex life spice it up get it going to keep it alive do you know what I think just come out of my mind I think it's really important you never know when the last time you're going to have sexes and I'll be at it all the time you're going to have sexes and I'll be at it all the time Let's actually mention, like, let's say you do have a low libido, by the way, because a lot of us women do, maybe it's... Labido? Libido. It's quite an official word.

Yeah, but it's what it is. Like, your sex drive then. Let's, there is way, there might be reasons as to why that is, by the way. So, I believe it's worth getting your hormone balance checked. I think that's something that you can look into. And what's other things like alcohol can, I know the next. day after alcohol we're all up for it or at it being well why is everyone up for it when they're like pure smelly and hung over you're sensitive it's a

thing yeah you need the vac you need like all validation you can get sensitivity and neediness I think um contraceptive pill can be quite bad for low of your sex drive yeah it's a common one it is yeah I mean I'm not been on it for years and I don't have a humongously high one but I know it's help for a lot of people yeah um but yeah there's have a little look into it again we're not experts so we can't really speak on this, but that aside, let's just say there might be a reason. But to keep it alive,

things that I've done in the past or what friends have done, more date nights. So date nights, dating one another, have a nice intimate date, like we said last episode, weekly. After that, when you come home, you're way more up for it then. I also think that kind of takes you back to the stage

where, say, you're living together now, when you do a date night like that, You should be doing them anyway, right? But that's what you used to do when you're first going with someone. And that is probably when most people, I know, are sexually active with their partner is when you're first together because you just want it all the time. So that I feel like that kind of keeps it alive because you almost feel back to those times. Yeah.

And you've got that excitement again. And you've had a really nice night out together. So you want to go home and, like, end it off in a saucy way. Dressing up, nice underwear. I mean, if dressing up in a full-on outfit, it's your thing. thing then honey go for it nurse's outfit devil's outfit whatever i however would feel like a big twat i would walkie and pissing myself yeah there's no way that i could do that seriously no i'd be like screwing in like he he he he i would just feel like baby voice yes to go i would just

feel like i'm your child and i'm dressing up to be like i'm putting on a show for you whereas i know you should be putting on a show but it should be section yeah i just couldn't i think I'd piss myself. But I do definitely think if you've got a nice overnight or even see if you've not got the financial benefits of going out on date nights a lot

make a cute dinner, stick a candle on the table. Yeah. Like make a nice meal that you maybe wouldn't typically have during the week or whatever like that. Stick a nice movie on candles

round the house or whatever. And then tell them something naughty across the table. Exactly a wee whisper. But the underwear thing for me is like, see if you want to spend 80 quid. on a nice underwear set for me yeah feel free

it's expensive aren't they exactly you feel free you do that I'll put it on off in two seconds off pointless that annoys me so buy crotchless if you want me to do that and for it to be beneficial it can't have pants in it keep them on boy I feel like shower sex is nice um I feel like shagging in the shower especially like if you're in a hotel or whatnot and you just get up with them one listen they're in the shower just go in

you're getting a wash anyway invite yourself in join them they're not going to say no well they might no guy in the right mind well there you go

no guy I think would be in the shower and not welcome you in with open arms they'll be saying soap me up baby yeah soop me up baby

soap me up that smell of raspberry bubbles is gorgeous soop me up right What I will say is by the way What I will say is If you're having sex in the bath

Be careful Be careful Because before you know That head is under What head? No Jessica No The head

With the face Okay Okay Right Right Right Introducing toys into a relationship

we put a little poll out there thoughts it can be a brave move for people it can be and it can be intimidating for a guy to you know if you to ask a guy to go can I bring in a sex toy

into our relationship they'd be like what do you need that for I'm not good enough I know I think it definitely has a sort of like bit of a manhood thing yeah I feel like a lot of guys would definitely get the impression

then they're not really delivering on the... But that's actually not the case at all. Not at all. Not for me anyway. I think especially if people need something to spice up, that's a good avenue to go down. Yeah. It feels brilliant.

It does. Try it. Honestly. And then just try to stick how he's up his arshould as well and see how he likes it. If you know, you know on that one. Something golden. Yeah.

Other things that people have said, we've mentioned, in our sex episode episode in season two or three. People watch porn together. I've not done that, but I could imagine that probably is quite kinky for you. Like, I could imagine people get a bit of a kick out of that. Get inspiration.

Well, I don't know, maybe you, like, imagine if you watch porn right, you would get turned on by that. So watching it with your partner, I think I would find that like watching a movie and you're watching somebody have the sex scene. I get embarrassed by it. I don't care who's in the room with me. I don't like watching two people have sex in a movie whilst I've got people sat next to me.

Roll play as well, I could get in about that, for sure. Speaking? No, but more of like a, not like you've been a really naughty boy, like that. But more of a, but more of a, like, masseuse role. Having a massage and, ooh, what's that in my back? what's that up by vagina you're getting two and one then you're getting a massage

and you get to chat by the way a massage is a very good tip for people even a wee introduction to the sex shal intercourse I like that it's like a little bit of role play

but it's not you just lie there and imagine it's a masseuse absolutely gorgeous well someone did write into to say be honest about fantasies a whole new level of spice

for you both but I don't know what my fantasy is no but you might not have any being porn. Then what? But you might not have any yourself or they might or you might not speak about it.

So I feel like if you've got them then let them know. Mm. Share them. The toy pole then? The toy pole. Toy pole. The toy pole. What did our listeners say?

Right. So we asked, do you use sex toys with your partner? We've got for sure 53%. Wow. That's a lot more. I thought. 24% never

and 22% open to it but don't know how to start. Right. Very interesting one. We then asked if you do use toys who initiated them. Me, 33%. My partner, 18%.

I'm going to guess me's woman. Yeah, yeah. Totally. So that's very telling. Both, 49%. Interesting. That is interesting actually. it was definitely

Richard in mine I think he suggested it yeah he just bought them one day and I was like oh I actually remember that I was like okay that was all for it

I just think don't knock it until you try it I think if someone wants to do that sort of thing as well like as much as you would want them to respect you not wanting to do it I think you almost need to have the respect as well that they want to try something and probably they're only doing it

to make your experience better but also remember when we talk about sex toys here we're not always talking about a big vibrating dildo there is so much out there you've got those vibrating balls you've got what they called anal bits soakers anal beads you've got cock rings

oh my God there's loads I don't know I mean I'm not really been on scrolled love honey for a while but we need to get a nice love honey discount code by the way because we we shout them out an awful lot that would be a good a good ad I'll add that to my fucking

to do list somebody wrote in after the poll saying every fucking time we joke the toys are the third person in our marriage let's be honest

it's just not as fun without them there you go if you're swithering whether to go for it that's your answer so going off the kinks we've had a really

really interesting conversation with somebody in our messages and we've already thank them so much for being really open with us but yeah this is going to be amazing one of our lovely listeners said that she now swings with her husband okay so message just saying would you actually mind telling me a little bit more about this I had so many questions what made this conversation come up yeah how does that make you feel do you get jealous I need to know I need

know everything. I think the big one for that is that people would wonder is how did this conversation start? Who brought it up? We were playing a spicy quiz app on our phones. In the app we could only see to other's answers if they were matched. One of the questions were would you introduce another person to the bedroom and we both answered yes. We were both surprised the other was up for it as it was never been mentioned before. Initially I know initially I meant I'd like someone to watch and play with themselves but as conversation got deeper we realized the thought of watching one another with someone else would turn us on dot dot dot a lot this actually made me flash back a little bit to rich in the strippers in amsterdam and i found that well sexy we had watched the open

house series and signed up to the swing hub app swing hub app great for making sure everyone is genuine no fake profiles we started talking to a couple on there which we was we really clicked with, arranged to meet them three months later, drinks with potential to play, if everyone felt okay. We got back to the hotel room, played sexy truth or dare card game, and got started. When I see my husband lick the other woman's... See it. Pussy, it sent me wild. No jealousy at all. I was nervous, I'd be jealous, but we had all agreed if anyone felt uncomfy we would just say we wanted to stop communication is the only way this works communicate every thought or feeling and if something crops up that we didn't like we just talk it

through and make sure it doesn't happen again before this i would have thought seeing my husband touch another woman would have ruined me but it's actually been the complete opposite i suppose you know never know to you try eh um so anyway i obviously had to go in a bit deeper we need more how often do you bring someone else in right and do you each go off with a different partner or you're having a threesome. Okay, yeah. We both have our own businesses and have three kids. So life only allows us to play two or three times a year.

Right, okay, interesting. Quite often we meet the same couple. So we prefer to meet couples rather than just another woman. We fully swap husbands and play with the woman. By this, I've learned I am bisexual at the age of 37. Good fucking on you, him. My husband is straight though, so he only plays with me and the other woman. Always in the same room, fun.

so they're having like a gang bang gang bang well don't know what would you call that so I said this is iconic and I'm really interested how did you find the couple so they already answered that question in the app and are you in an open relationship now or are you just agreed to swing this few times a year right and she put we found them through the swing a hub app it's like Tinder for Swingers I suppose they have an Instagram page if you want to look at it no we are not in an open relationship we only play together in the same room a few times a year I look at I love talking to you about it as none of my friends or family know so I don't ever get a chance to speak about it ever and by the way I did ask her permission to speak by this podcast and she was absolutely fine we have played sober before quite often we play via WhatsApp videos

and picks with other couples a few drinks is good too drunk sex is always more wild isn't it and yeah she just then went off to say like a few of the bits about the app and you can't screenshot it it's all private this app three strikes and you like get blocked from it that's good

And there's a swingers club in Glasgow and one in Edinburgh and I'd need to know what this is. Intrigued. That is really quite interesting. Yeah. So, fantastic. Absolutely love that. And again, if that's your thing,

if you go for it. Like she says, don't knock it to you try it. The only thing is, it's risky, isn't it? Like, imagine one of you just, you tried it, then one of you just couldn't. And I said that to you, a friend of mine's parents. Years later went back to the person they swang with when they were younger. Yeah.

Or you just couldn't get over it And it just felt like you couldn't get that image Of seeing them with someone else out your head Yeah Because I remember being at school And I just always You know you hear those mad stories at school And it was people like

They'd a threesome with their best pal And then they couldn't look at the best pal the same And I thought they won her Jesus Christ Anyway Right now we're just going to end with a few Other messages that we've got Wrap this episode up

A few random questions So the first one So my question was whether to keep following someone on Instagram who you used to date I don't know if it makes too much of a statement if I remove him as a follower slash stop following him does it show that I care enough to do that

I don't want to give that impression there's also a part of me that wants to see him doing well and show what he's missed out on but that's toxic I know and does he even care probably not thoughts so she's seeing someone else now or not she's not mentioned that but I think the issue here is right you've been dating someone enough for

you to think about it right and you've still got them in social media is removing them just like you look as if you care you don't want to see what they're up to because it affects you but do you still want to have them because equally you're also not interested in their life anymore

and is it then awkward when you do both have a new partner it's a weird one because I suppose I can't really relate to that because I've been with Rich so long that Instagram really wasn't a thing before him so I mean if I split from Rich now then yeah, I would remove him because that would be

a lot deeper than that, do you know what I mean? And it would be hurtful to still see I think if you've had feelings involved and you were upset that something ended as much as it's quite deep, I think you should remove them because I think that constant reminder

is then going to be hard for you to go over in the situation. You could mute their stories and posts. But just stop them from being able to come up. But equally, I do know what people mean about. Does that look as if I care? I think it looks like you care more if you follow them I know that's what I mean I don't know actually two ways

you could be like they might be thinking she doesn't give a fuck about me she shouldn't follow me I don't actually really think I follow anyone that I've been involved with in the past no I don't know if I do either but again a few were kind of like before like the time of it really been that big a thing or I also feel like when I got into like

an ex-relationship in that age that I was in I was kind of like get rid of all the past yeah maybe there is definitely people on my Instagram though that I've like been with before but not like dated no I know same I haven't like you've maybe had a bit of a fling with or something like that but I think maybe like proper seeing kind of situation relationship relationship level I guess it depends how it ends isn't it I know if it ended like amicably then there's no reason why you should just mute him but if it was like a real toxic ending and you still like him

and he left you then I would probably just unfollow him for your own From this message I get the impression that she's maybe still slightly interested because she said show him what he's missed out on you've still got a bit of interest there you care about what he sees

thanks and feels I agree so my advice to you would be remove him because you're hanging on to that and you want to move on yeah totally whereas if you don't care keep him there

it's nice to be nice I was single all the way up until I was 33 This is a nice message by the way I've been with my boyfriend now for nearly a year And I'm so happy I wish I'd stop worrying in my 20s about meeting someone And if it was all going to work out If anyone is in the same situation as I was

Please just relax and enjoy being free and single Go on your holidays with your pals Go on fun dates and make sure you have stories to tell Later on when your life is quieter Everything will fall into place That's gorgeous Couldn't agree more I mean,

you get that printed and stuck towel. Yeah. That's really nice. Right. Next. Me and my current boyfriend went to uni together in 2016.

I was 18 and had another boyfriend at the time. Yeah. We'd done different courses but some of our lectures were the same. He was one of the few little boys in the lecture hall and I said to my friends,

oh my God, who is he? She needed to know. Couldn't stop staring at him. I remember having a feeling that I was so sad I didn't know him. My friend had told me It was her friend's ex-boyfriend. I don't think she told me his name.

Anyway, three years later, we were in our last year of uni and I had never seen him since that year. I had became single a few months before, and I said to my other friends, remember that boy from our lecture I used to fancy. Why do we never see him anymore? I went home that night and downloaded Tinder as I had been let down with people previously

and he was the first person who came up. I was screaming, and I immediately matched with him and the rest of history. We've been together five and a half years. Oh, that's lovely. That is lovely. and that is what you call fate and what's for you will not go by you, sisters.

We wanted to read this one out because we asked her permission again if we could read this out and she said absolutely yes because she feels like there'll be other girls or people in the situation that can absolutely relate. It's more about second chances and cheating. So, hi girls, love today's episode and it really struck a call with me.

How did we greet in the car on the way home and everything, and I don't know why, but something's telling me to share my story with you, so grab a cup. So I've always been a bit black and white when it comes to cheating. If that had happened to me, I'd be a goner.

The disrespect and not being able to forget, bringing it up after a drink and all that. Very, very true to me. That rings very true to me. And then it happened. When I tell you, I had no idea, and my whole world was freaking shook. We had been married for 10 years in December

and together for 12, a bloody beautiful marriage as well. Great sex, good job, no argument. and the best of times and this dumb ass motherfucker in bracket sorry downloaded Tinder

he used someone else's photos got chatting to a girl over four days and then ghosted her by this time he'd added her on Snapchat in brackets ick what the fuck does a 35 year old man need with snap and she then knew his identity

I don't know if she was pissed at being ghosted or being a real girl's girl but she found me on Instagram and told me this was in August last year and honestly I'm not okay most of the time I was so black and white and now it's all very very grey I love this man our life and everything we have built but he has fallen ass over tit off the pedestal I had with him

he fests up straight away he owned it and sent himself to therapy where he's been going weekly ever since he has a history of being reckless impulsive stuff usually money related but has always landed on his feet and I think this is the first time the consequences of his actions have truly been bit him in the ass I take some, in brackets question mark, comfort that he has realized what he's doing

and cut it all off after a few days but I don't know if him naive to think it's the only time he's done it. I guess I'll never know and if I'm saying I need to take him at face value until he gives me a reason not to trust him until you don't. Yep.

I meant my marriage vows and for me marriage is wise if it's not him, it's not anyone. So here I am. Some days I'm doing okay and others not so much. He is trying and I know this, but I look at him differently now. And as I said, it's such a grey area and I don't know what the future holds.

I'm trying to be more independent, which I've never really been great at, because I've been with him since I was 21. And prepare for the worst, hoping the best, but who knows? If you have any advice, I'll welcome it, but just wanted to share my experience of where I truly never ever thought I'd be in this position and that if it was to happen, I'd be a bad bitch who would wash that man right away out of her hair, but yet here I am. same with a man who's disrespected me in the worst way

and feeling weak as fuck like I'm letting myself down by doing so but feeling loyal to my vows and the promise I made in front of all of his friends and family anyway thank you for coming to my TED talk and keep on smashing it oh so that's a hard one

I genuinely feel that you should absolutely not feel like you're letting yourself down because like you say you did these vows and you stick by them and I think we've said before on a podcast I do genuinely believe in second chances. I would, however, agree with you in the sense that I would probably feel naive enough and the fact that is this his only thing he's done because that's quite a, like going on Tinder

and a random act to just do once and in that one time so unluckily get caught. It was like he was so, he wanted to crave this sort of attention or wanted maybe a secret letter affair, then did it by a false identity, shat himself, go through. to this woman realised maybe he was making a mistake and didn't get away with it but he's took himself to therapy which a lot of men wouldn't

he's got a history of being reckless and like she says this is the only time where she thinks he's not fell on his feet he's been caught out he's thinking I'm going to lose the better that's ever happened to me I do strongly believe in second chances and I believe that he can come away from this

especially if it sounds like he's got underlying issues yeah I think second chances are a good thing to give when the person who needs the second chance realizes what they've done and has taken action like a lot of guys in his position

would not have took themselves to therapy over now and they just wouldn't have they would have just thought an apology would be enough I'm not actually physically done anything doesn't matter yeah that's still cheating and also I think as she said

it does realize what the consequence of this could be but my advice I think if it was me and I was feeling the way she is right now would be to just give it time yeah and I know she said she can't really look at him the same but that might change if his actions keep changing for the positive but I think if you get to a certain stage and it's just never going to be something you go over it might you might need look at a different yeah totally I think it is possible to work through something like this yeah especially if there was as you not aware but there was no physical cheating as what it's what you're aware of

which maybe softens the blow slightly but either way there is some women out there and that's honestly fair enough they could never forgive and that's just their decision but if this is a decision you've done and what you believe is right

then that is the right decision don't feel like you're letting yourself down just because other people feel differently that's what you want to do and put your trust in that decision if he does it again then definitely wipe the flipping floor with him get him to fuck

Yeah. Right, well, I think that's us covered all bases of relationships. Whoa, there's a lot to unpack. I know. If we were having this chat earlier over coffee, but we were quite intrigued in, if you've found out somebody's having an affair, like, how have you found out?

If you've been cheated on, have you sat and digested this information and come back with a big, like, revenge? Or have you, your head's gone and you've straight away messaged and rang them? like I really like hold my hands up to these women that can really watch something go on for a week's if they know someone's having a fair and then get all their information then boom yeah I couldn't I'm a hothead

hmm I think I could do that what weeks maybe not weeks but I would always approach the situation calmly would you yeah oh no I'd be I'd be a better like I've just to let you know I've just found out yeah that this has happened and I'm just letting you know that I'm just about to pack my bags and I'll be away and you'll never see me again

and I'll put the keys through the letterbox and that's us over so have a nice life iconic I could definitely hold that together obviously inside I'd be like yeah totally but I would like to know

I would like to think I could act like that but my emotions would be gone with me again depends on the situation I know exactly but what I would like to know is if you have found out that your partner's cheating have you messaged

or contacted the other cheatee yeah if they've got a partner or told their partner that they were being cheated on with your partner are you having an affair and you've been caught yeah tell us

we won't tell anyone it's anonymous and just tell us like any mad revenge shit you've done even if it's maybe not as deep as in an affair or it can be a past boyfriend story. Yeah, something that crazy that you've done just to get some revenge because we've got some great, I've got some great ones from my friends that they've done, but we're going to save this for series five. Can you believe it? Yeah, five. So I message it, you've got a few

weeks. Well, that was lovely. That was great. I hope you guys enjoyed that one and again found it helpful. An extra long one for you before we leave you for good. We're coming back. I'm joking. Right, well, we'll see you on Friday. If we see you on Friday and if not, We'll see you next Tuesday. Bye!