A Lot On Your Plate - S5 Ep15: Christmas event debrief, a surprise guest & a relationship commitment dilemma

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

This week on ALOYP we chat through the success of our live Christmas Events, from huge charity donations to surprise appearances, it wasn't one to miss! We are also joined by a surprise guest who helps us navigate a listeners dilemma. What would you do after 11 years? Stay or leave? Let us know!!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are so excited to say that this podcast is sponsored by Watermans. Wait, the solicitors? Yeah, but they're not like regular solicitors, obviously. So not super serious and complicated? Yeah, I would say they're a bit more straightforward kind of vibe, our vibe. I can get bored with that. For straightforward legal advice, remember Watermans. Happy Tuesday, guys.

Hiya. We missed you. It's been a while since we sat in the seat together. How are you feeling, Zoe? I'm good, how are you? Bloody exhausted. No, I know I am done. And we can finally say that the events have done. They're over and they were a big success.

Frank, fuck, and we think we looked nice. Do you remember last people? We hope we looked nice. But I feel a little bit like I'll ask my voice the next day, you know? No, I did think that always happens to be after the week because I've never spoken so much of my life. But I always think it's to do with alcohol while we didn't have it. I barely had a sip of water. I was gasping at one point.

those two days, the lack of food and beverages we had was not okay. Scary! Not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. No, but seriously. I had eggs and toast

at like 10am on the Wednesday and I don't think I had Ed Nelson's on the Friday. I know. You just don't have time. No, we didn't. I actually had some Schwama fries on the market night and I... Well, I've got a picture of you eating them, actually. Have you? Do it awful? No, it's nice.

What? It's quite a try to. Wow. So, yeah, that's what we've been up to and it was, it's over and we feel really, really glad it's over. But I also have, no, I wouldn't say the blues, but because it's been our personality trait for a couple of months. What the hell do we do? But it was fun. Murray was with us for the duration of the two days, filming everything.

So we've got some nice content coming out, hopefully very soon. He had sword arms. Oh, no, bless him. We made him do a live stream on the second night and it was a bit much. so yeah we'll run you through a little bit about the event if you've got phoma and you missed out because I know loads of you were I had so many messages did you yeah just being like I didn't make this one it looks so good

so we re-shared a post that simple treasures the lovely Chloe who did the balloons for us for our set for my birthday and your birthday but she's rebranded which I think we said to soul creative so she's doing a little bit of content creation bless her yeah so she actually took some videos of the night she sent it to me and we re-shared it and I had lots of responses off that.

Like, this has captured it perfectly. No, it did. I thought the same. Yeah, and it was just wonderful. So I think that gave a lot of people phomo. It was a grand situation. We'll talk about that in a memento. So let's start with the market night, shall we?

Wow. That was busy. Mobbed. Yeah. Sardines. So busy, then maybe what we thought. Does nobody know what that means? What?

When a room's like sourdine. Yeah. Like you and you're a sardine and a tin. A few of people said to me, I don't know what that means. I'm like, no, they're all squashed in a tin. Oh. That was us and bads. Well, listen, it was an absolute success and we think busy is fantastic because all it means is it was great for the businesses. Yeah. And it was just so nice to see everyone together. The difficult part was there was definitely a time of the changeover where there was people from each session in the room, which probably wasn't managed how we thought it would have been. Like, we weren't. unable to get, unless you're dragging people out of the venue. And it was started off if you're finished with the shopping, please can you move up to the mezzanine or out to the courtyard and it was like, right, his knee to get fucking out. Literally. But we understand

that there was people still buying stuff. So anyway, when the changeover happened, there was just a big herd of people at one point. So I think it probably would have been overwhelming. Especially the two rows in between the middle. Yeah, it was quite tight in there I think in reflection. Even me and you

never got to speak to any of the businesses down that row. The next day I felt so bad because I just felt like I hadn't even met half of the people I know. Like obviously quite a lot of the business owners we've met and we know but other ones I was like I didn't even introduce myself for nothing and I felt terrible

but just you don't have time. They all have fantastic time now and everybody did well. So our two amazing charities we don't have the actual final figure just yet but we can give you what we have currently at the moment so raffle ticket night which was incredible we have some we got given

some amazing gifts to give away for that evening. Like, we're talking LED, current body face mask, Aviv bundle. Oh my God, it was just flipping endless. It never seemed to end the giveaways, which was amazing. But we raised over £2,000, wasn't it? We raised £2,107 and £2. That was just the raffle for the party night. Yep.

And the last I heard we were at over $700 for cash for kids and over 300 for Glasgow City Mission and all that was was just people coming to play they could win a Charlotte Tilbury Advent calendar and they had to pay £5 a go and that was the cash for kids

but on top of the cash for kids and Glasgow City Mission you also could donate the new and unwrapped gifts for children up until they were 18 and they only bought one box because they just thought you know we're not sure loads of people will bring gifts it was overflowing of the like how generous our listeners are

the first night it was probably I would say three or four times the box yeah surrounding it and a lot of vendors came and bought some presents as well so thank you so much for that that's going to be amazing and me and so we're going to go to the distribution centre and actually have a look at it before they get distributed to the area so yeah we'll give you a final figure on that then probably share that on socials because we need to do all the calculations

but thank you for your generosity is all right Thank you. Do you guys that do this? Wonderful. And you know what? I realized that not only are we fantastic in putting on events. We are.

You are connected with it. But I think we're on to something with the small business markets. And I think we should do it more. So maybe we could do one in the summer. And then we will definitely probably do, no, I'm going to say it. We're definitely going to do it again at Christmas next year.

I think this was a learning curve in sense of. the busyness, yeah numbers. We'll make sure it's even bigger and better next year and make sure that you can all have a good enough time to see at each stall maybe spread it out

across three sessions and have a gap in between so we can get everybody out and then you're all back in. Replanish. Yeah. But yeah, we'll work on that one and make it bigger and better next year so if you do want to be part of it then give us a wee message I don't know in 10 months' time I thought you were going to say now

and be really organised I thought there's not enough space in the brain No And then Yeah Christmas party was Wild as always Definitely bigger and better

I just feel like people show up With the right attitude to that Everyone's drinking Loads of people had food as well Which I was surprised at But pleasantly surprised Yeah Like just making use of the facilities

Yep But it was great it was fantastic night we had oh we forgot to mention your mum came and sang on stage with Pete she did

Pete was amazing big shout out to Pete Zeri loves him and then we had Daniel the trumpeter who I found on Buchanan Street so he came and joined us for two days

God bless him lovely guy but you had said to my mum another week I would love if you would sing and she said to me I will sing but I need to be prepared

and obviously we didn't follow up with that because that's just us so then on the night I was like mum shouting from the stage we come up and sing and I just saw her look at me as if

this is the exact thing I told you not to do. She told me she was shaking like a leaf for about an hour afterwards. She was that nervous. But she's not really, do you know what I mean? It's the adrenaline. But only did you make her sing once. She made her sing twice.

I had no say in the second one. Okay. He was like, should we do a wee soul number? Aw. That was good, what was it? Was it heard it through the grape line or something? Eat in a mountain high enough, was it? I think it was.

Yeah. And then, so the party night, we had lots of different surprises. We played truth or dare game where we had to bash a big inflatable Christmas ball ball around everyone had to stand up

and keep it in the air. We had three. Thank God we bought three because two of them burst after like the second go. People were really rough with it because nobody wanted it to land on them. It was like,

past the parcel, hot potato when the music stops, wherever it lands on, tough tits, you're up. I don't know why there was prizes to be won. There were good prizes as well. And all you had to do

was a truth or a day. The truth's easy. But the dares maybe were a bit promiscuous. I mean, we had a full on lap dance going on. She was the best person to be chosen for that dare. Agree. Then we had

karaoke for rock DJ. Guilty Pleasure song, Robbie Williams rock DJ. She was amazing. Then we had perform your favourite sex position on a blow-up candy cane. Yep. That was the same girl actually. She didn't twice. That's right. Plank on...

Some girl near a plank where she planked on the... She's like the same. That's not easy by any way. She'll do like, talk jumps and that with it. But I still can't get over with a girl that did the strip tease. She was the chef's kiss. I wish we had the opposite view. Opposite view.

But all we could see was everyone's face is like, and according to my sister and my mom, who were front row view, she had the most perfect bum with the perfect little black, neat, lacey pants up and right around the bomb. and Ella was like my sister you know when you sometimes like one goes in one ass cheek she's like it wasn't even like that it was just perfectly placed and then she was strip teasing your sister-in-sister

yeah it was Jason's sister's pal but I did say she's the perfect person to do that she's always like pristine and I knew she would give it all as soon as I saw it was her and I thought this is going to be good I would crumble like nothing else I wouldn't need to leave

by the way what was your outfit for Where was your outfit from on day one? Day one was fourth and reckless. But I did actually end up getting on ASOS. Okay. Quicker delivery, and I pay for delivery as well on there. Yeah.

So there, and then night two was ASOS as L guys. You know what I'm like. But the jumper was Topshop. And it's actually a long jumper. I just tucked it into my bra. It's like a brown one. And then the trousers were just ASOS design, brown satin. Really like them.

What about you? First night I had a green. co-ward from Zara and then the second night was a dress from River Island black dress from River Island which was the wrong move to wear because it was so tight around

my shoulders but I was limited with options to be fair what would fit the book off the shoulder's so nice but it is annoying and restrictive isn't it because if you feel you're constantly having to like rejig yourself yeah my boobs aren't exactly small so I was very much like but it was fine I felt nice

and we had our hair hair and makeup, well the first night we, well I did my hair myself the first night, I wonder Murray did care a little bit for me actually, but makeup we did ourselves in the first night and Marie did our hair the first night. Second night Murray did our hair again. Murray Owens, he's really good

by the way and then Sam did our makeup on the second night. Sam Henry. But we had a little surprise for the evening. See, just before we were talking about that, did anyone notice I chalked? I don't think anybody could have missed that, Zoe. You were joking for it.

whole five minutes. It was your time to shine as well. When we said at the, when we were writing out on cue cards, I was like, you read at this and you read out this. And it was those bits where I had no idea what to say. It was actually really bad. You know, when you swallow and your sliver

just goes down the wrong way, that's all that happened. Oh, God. But I was a wee bit choked up. We had a wee bit of a cold all week. But I genuinely could not get a breath between coughs. And I wasn't really sure what to do about it. And then Natalie caught me and was like,

here's some water. But even after that, when I was trying to speak, you know, it keeps catch and you think it's going to fucking happen again. So if anyone noticed that, I hope it was comical. Oh, we had Alicia and Natalie from our ghost brunch back, because they were so good. They were just the perfect fit for our parties, I think. Yeah.

They get the crowd going, and they know what tunes we like. And Natalie's good at even just speaking a bit as well and encouraging. Yeah, dancing. So Alicia owns a company called, looks groove. So if you are on the lookout for I don't know, saxophone players, anything that... Any entertainment really? She's good at that.

Quite a good roster. So we had a little surprise up our sleeve. So we needed to get our presents for the raffle out from the back in Santa's sack. And we had a little Santa. Which was Zoe's brother managed to rope Adam into it. God bless him.

But what happened was Santa got tied up and the presents got stolen. The Grinch took over. The Grinch. took over and who better to be the Grinch than I'm Richard. He's actually sitting in the room by the way. He said and I think he'd hear he's like ferociously

typing fingers on his laptop. He's also got bright pink socks on which is just attention seeking. I know you just attention to seek it. But we we made him sit in two hours of prosthetic makeup with Sam

in the green room at the back and they were having a a crazy time in the back there practicing all the proper Grinch moves with one another. Murray was obviously then handed to live stream the backstage so it went on the big projector

so everybody could see that Santa was getting tied up by the Grinch. Them not knowing that they actually were in the vicinity because Holly, my best friend, came up from Leicester and she kept saying to me where's Richard? Richard left us in your house earlier and said he was on the way to the venue to help out.

Oh yeah, she must have been like weird the fuck and she's like I was texting him like I've been here for three hours like where is he and I at one point she came up to me I was like I don't know I have not seen him either and I ever thought of that and then he came on the screen and I watched her face because the only person that knew was me and your mom yeah my mom and your mom sorry and then I watched all the girls or because a lot of our friends were there and they were all like that's richard because he didn't have yellow contact scene so I guess you could maybe tell around the eye area See, his tattoos, a wee bit on his neck.

And because of his beard, you couldn't put the prosthetic nose under the lip. It had to hang because it wouldn't stick to the hair. But Rich, do you want to come on quickly and just say hello? I'll move out. I'll move out on my seat. I'll sit next to Zoe. We should just do this instead, what do you think? What could we call it? We could call it.

True love. Yeah. The one I should have had. The one that got away. Anyway, how was your Grinch experience? It was good. It was when Jess came and asked me, I was in bed at one point

and she was like, I've got a favour to ask. And I was like, this could be actually anything. Did not expect to be asked to be the Grinch. But now it was good. Enjoy getting your makeup done for two hours? Do you know what? I was dreading that, but I actually loved it. Sam was class.

Sam and Nicola were really good. I just had a good laugh, to be honest with her. I know, maybe you could chat in that, so it wasn't as if... No, they were really good. She did a really good job as well, and I think the moustache was possibly annoying her, yeah, because she wanted to kind of... To get under. Like, glue the lip to my lip, if you could find my lip.

But no, it was really good, and then, obviously, coming out was a little bit nerve-wracking, but... Were you nervous? I was, yeah. That's a shame. You didn't see, mate. I think when you get like makeup put on you obviously just like you think no one knows it's me

you're kind of hidden so it's like a fake yeah it's like an old to ego isn't it yeah I came out and I must have got 45 seconds in and I was like right I've run out of ideas here and then me and Adam had like a full on discussion of like what was going to happen so I was going to come out and prance about a bit and then he was going to come out and look for me

because I obviously stole the presents so he was going to chase me around I'd pick the bag up would go into the back I'd give him the bag and then I'd start chasing him out none of that happened I just went missing and I was like looking away like where's he got?

He kept down on the microphone like Santa come and help like hello he said I thought because the bag was like laying on the side he thought I'd went back in oh no I'd love to see if Murray followed him

like what he was doing and I know I kept looking to the side like Santa where are you we need you and the next minute you were just in the middle centre stage on the table everyone's looking up at you

and there's some really good photos of you just on it. That is. Yeah. You did, well done. Honestly, we're very grateful to you babes. We owe you forever. Thanks. I appreciate it.

It was good fun. And how is it getting all the makeup off? A nightmare. Absolute nightmare. I've actually got sore skin from scrubbing. It feels like I've got a rash, but... Oh, my God. Worth it for us.

Anything for you can also. Did you enjoy the events? Although the problem is now, and I'd said this, he was like, they're going to ask us to do more shit. I guess to be more characters so Easter make it get my bunny suit sort of it

You said it not I said it that's your idea Rich are you excited to be a father Yeah I know yeah While we've got you here Should we just ask you Yeah I am

I'm scared But I'm excited Because our friends have just had a baby Well one of Rich's best friends actually And literally two days ago So congratulations Grimmie and Courtney and they FaceTime us last night

and watching Richard with seeing his best mate with the baby and you were like you went I've changed her nappy three times already today and he went mate I can't believe you I've just changed like shooting nappies and run like five days ago you'll have never changed nappy in your life that's going to be me

and it's going to be you I know he said that bless him he said that my friend's a bit of like a he is quite soft but he's a hard exterior and he said mate honestly I'll be in the kitchen

and she'll just be lying down and he said I'll just start crying and like, I nearly made me start crying I was like bloody hell lad You will be emotional You were exactly like that though Oh no yeah I'll be great and I'm looking forward to it

I'm scared like me and Jess have been doing hypnoborffing Or we've done one we've done one session You found that really beneficial I didn't know what it was I thought it was like I can hypnotise me this is going to be rubbish or Tell her what you said it was

I thought it was like a water thing So I was like waiting for this paddling pool to get filled up I almost went and got my trunks imagine it sat my trunks so I nearly went and got them but it was really important essentially just telling you

everything that happens in birth well because Jess will forget all of that's you that needs to remember that's what she said I messes Jess after because I had to leave her client and I was like this birth thing's going to be a piece of piss yeah for you maybe if someone can give birth on a comb

Well, then you can do it when you're awake. That's what she told us, you know. Somebody gave birth in a coma. Apparently, your muscles do it. Your body knows what to do. But... You'll smash it. Yeah, so hopefully.

But I was actually saying to my friend last night because my friend sent me a video of her giving birth, which is just lull. And I thought to myself, I'm so excited to see you in that situation because if I do give birth vaginally, I'm very intriguing to see if you faint or not.

So I feel like you're quite a fainty person. Yeah, especially in hospital and stuff that I'll be... No, we can't be having that. I'll be hitting the deck. I think if you feel like you just need to stop witnessing it for a minute. Like, shut your eyes. Yeah, it's hard doing it once your blood pressure goes, that's you gone. Oh, God.

Sent it a few times. But we have a dilemma, so what I'll do is I'll sit back in my seat. I'll read out the dilemma. Me and Zoe will give our answer, and then we might get you back on to give you a male perspective if that's okay. Yeah, I probably don't want my... Yeah, we do. We do, won't you answer? Right, well, let's see what it is first.

Okay. Well, anyway, just a big massive thanks to everyone who came with our events and supported us as always. It's a pleasure. It's a pleasure, and hopefully we'll see you again next year. You'll have a baby then. Good God. By the way, so many pregnant girlies.

So many. Honestly, I am shocked by that. so many girls coming up to me saying that they're due the similar time to me or they're pregnant and then oh my god we've missed a massive part so we did we had a little note on everyone's like table place saying why should you be on the naughty list this year so it was kind of like confessions or like embarrassing stories or whatever and there was one saying I'm pregnant and nobody knows yes I'm with all my friends tonight and no one knows that I'm pregnant

and we were like, oh, who is it? And everyone was looking around at their pals, like, is it you? And you went, if your friend's not drinking, it's them? Shit. That's a bad confession. We'll read a couple of the confessions out because they're actually really funny.

Yeah, we think we hear them to you. We had a few male pod pigs there. We love it. 4 a.m. on Grindr after a Halloween party, cross-dressed as Beyonce, had some fun. Tell the girls about it the next day and they say,

oh my God, I know him. He's straight. has a girlfriend and he's got kids five years later he's still active on the apps and regularly post vids Beyonce had fun though you hear about that quite a lot I saw a picture of said Beyonce and it was iconic

oh my God speaking of pictures that you've seen if you're on Patreon you'll have heard about the girl that faked her pregnancy for the full 14 weeks we saw photo evidence of the friend said friend holding the bump She actually said she had to delete the picture of her kiss in the bump because it gave her the ick that much

I'm not surprised it was just a fat belly I like oh my God but it was It was actually a perfectly round No it did look like a bump Like I will give the girl that But in reflection like no disrespect It was just a fat belly

Yeah well yeah well of course it was Shit myself and Matelan and had to phone a friend But friendie phone in that situation I'd be mortified My God A lot of people shit in changing rooms they do when I used to work

and a lot of people used to pee a lot of people used to pee a lot of people pee in changing rooms I'll be honest there's been a few times I've went to try something on and I've had to not because it's like you know when you just need a pee when it's so inconvenient

yeah and I thought I will end up peeing myself in these clothes if I get changed what happens is I'm trying to get changed back into mine and it's so fucking stressful Do you know where other people find pee a lot, sunbed shops in the bin? I was told that as well.

I have dabbled in a sunbed before and had to use a toilet all to keep it in. Remember when we were on stage and I couldn't find you for 10 minutes? I was like, anyone who knows there he is? And everyone was like, yeah, she's in the loo. I was like, you're an infection, we'll leave her to it. Oh, this was a good one.

Hinge date, first time meeting for lunch. Few aparol spritz later. Ended up back at the Radisson at 4pm. I had to stay all night because he felt bad because he was from Dunund so you had to get the ferry home But to make it worse I got on the train home the next day once I escaped He texted me telling me to check my pocket

And there it was a napkin that read I really like you, love Kieran, Ick Also he said I love you in the hotel room I know I'm good but I'm not that good Oh good God E brother Had the one night stand and had to text my boss the next morning FYI, I'm a pharmacist

thought he had fucking given me scabies turns out I just took a reaction to his aftershave boss texts me saying don't worry it's not scabies glad you had a good night though My God So she knows that you were shagging

Fair Fox I accidentally sent a full vaj I accidentally sent a full vaj pick on Snapchat to a colleague and said my boyfriend in brackets now husband I panicked my account because Google said that would work the suspense got the better of me

so I logged back in only to find out he had screenshotsed it I'm absolutely mortified so I messaged him to say I obviously never meant to send that to you he told me he would delete it but who knows he might still have my fanny pick

thankfully I never saw him again I moved back from London and it was never spoken about until my best he revealed it to my whole family at my hendoo fuck my life and we were saying this on the night but at the event

at the gust brunch a girl confessed that she'd sent her whole naked bod to her dad I wouldn't be a living being anymore I couldn't take another breath again I'd be a goner right last one

my friend's late with someone he kept insisting she called him daddy call me daddy daddy daddy does it good and she blurted out my dad's fucking dead oh my gosh no

that's tragic so that was a few of many confessions that we read out but there was loads buying your own house and flat can be so stressful so stressful and I feel like as adults were just supposed to know all this stuff did you know that it's considered

one of the most stressful things you can ever do in your life I can believe that by the way all the paperwork lawyers and all that it's too much it's a total minefield well don't worry I have a solution that will make everything feel easier

just let our sponsors Waterman's hands on at all. Will they pack my boxes too? Not quite, Lizzie. But they'll definitely take care of everything else. Perfect. We have a dilemma from one of our lovely listeners.

Hi, girls. Hi. Hey. How you doing? And I feel like this is quite relatable to a lot of people in our lives. Not us, but just our age group. Okay. Absolutely love the podcast.

I'm looking for some advice for something that has been a lot on my plate for a while now. I turned 30 this year and me and my boyfriend have just celebrated our 11th anniversary together. I honestly thought by now that we would have been engaged slash started a family together. Every time we go on a holiday or have a nice date night, I always get my hopes

up that he's going to propose and then he doesn't and I get really upset. All of my friends are either engaged or married and now have children and whenever they ask me when it's my turn I just laugh it off and pretend like I'm not really interested in being married or having kids. I do know they probably realise that this is just

act. That's a shame. Every time I approach the subject of marriage and kids with him, he just tries to swear to the subject or says he's not sure about what he wants yet. I find it really difficult to understand how you can be with someone for so long and not be sure about what you want yet. Every time I put my foot down and tell him to be straight with me, he asks me to give him time to think, yet he doesn't approach the subject ever again. I know deep down I'm probably being really stupid staying with someone for so long, but it breaks my heart to think of as not being together. I love our life we have together but I'm so scared of going into another year

of nothing changing and being in my 30s in the same position. Any advice would be appreciated even if it's harsh. Lull. It's a tough one that. It's a tough one for a few reasons because there's the age situation that she's mentioned

societal pressures which we speak about quite a lot. Yeah. You've got all your friends that are in a different situation to you. so you're probably feeling more so like why them and not me. Yeah. And also you're saying that you love him and you love your life together.

So it's not like you're deeply and happy. Another thing to add is your body clock. Yeah. If you do really want kids. Yeah. And you're already in your 30s and you're feeling you're getting no further forward. You're not going to have the option forever.

True. But you know, you can have children up to whenever. No, of course. But what exact age is you right now? And if he's shown no. signs of creation over the last five years or whatever. Yeah. I would say the children thing for me is probably,

I don't know which one she's wanting more, maybe the proposal or the children, maybe a bit of both, but more so than likely a lot of women who want to get married, they probably want to do that first with four children, don't they? Yeah, I think so really. Yeah. If you are that sort of person who likes everything planned out,

I think typically you want marriage then kids, don't you? It's really difficult for us to even answer this question when we don't know you both personally and by the sounds of things it's not like you're in a really bad relationship it sounds like you're in a healthy relationship in a way where you're both happy and you enjoy it

and I think you know deep down that you obviously love a lot you have a lot of love for him so you wouldn't stay with him either for this length of time but equally I don't think he would stay with you too if he was so unhappy but I'm just trying to speak from someone

who isn't bothered about marriage, which is myself. And I wasn't that overly bothered about children either. Yeah. So I think for me, it's hard for me to relate because it's never something that I've always dreamed of and that I've wanted. And if me and Richard never had children or never had, never got, get married,

I still believe that me and him will be stronger than ever. I don't feel like that would change us in any way. Yes, it might make you better and make things different for you, but I believe that we have a good enough relationship where that that part wouldn't have mattered. It could have just been the two of you forever. Yeah. So if that's what you really want though,

and I know for a fact, if I really wanted it, as did Richard, I know we would both do it. Yeah. I'm not saying I won't ever marry him one day. I would maybe will, but we just never really discuss it because, do you know what I'm saying? And either of you are that bothered, but if one of you were, you would do it for the other?

course. I think even though you've tried to speak to him I think it needs to be a bit of a make or break yeah kind of conversation of like put it out there that you are happy in your relationship and you do think you have a great time

etc etc but then follow up with but it's so important to me in my life as a whole to get married one day, have kids one day and I want that to be with you but anytime we have this conversation you brush it under the carpet

or it's like give me time, give me time but we're now 11 years down the line like when is the time and also we're not getting any younger all you need to know from him is see even if he said I can't give you a day that I'm going to wake up and be like

right I'm going to propose but it is going to happen for us like I want it to be with you then you can maybe settle a bit and know that it will come but the issue is guys a lot of the time just are happy the way things are

and the thought of these conversations push them away more then so it's hard I've heard from quite a few men say that and this is not all men because I know Jason wants to get married but a lot of men realistically

only marry because they're trying to keep their partner happy and they have a wonderful day and they love the marriage and they love being married to them and do you really want that but growing up they don't aspire to the same thing as like a woman does no I know because the day really is more about the bride isn't it? And children I relate like it's daunting it's a daunting

thing you don't know probably how good it's going to be until you do it so I always try and think about the guy in in a different position and think that he might just not want that it might not be something he wants however I think it's difficult to try and get my head around when he knows that's what that's what you want and that's quite hurtful because if he cares so much about you and he would probably be like you know what you are the one for me and I know this is what's going to make you happy and you stay with me. Yeah. Let's do it.

Maybe he's worried about money. Maybe he's worried about the cost of an engagement ring, the cost of the wedding. These things cost of fucking so much money. Also, children, again, some men just don't want them. Point blank, don't want them. So. And if that's so important to you that even if you've got a great relationship, see if he does say, I don't want kids, but you do, you need to move on.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. And, you know, the sad part of that is, the moment that happens, that might give him some time to reflect and actually be like, you know what, actually you are, she is what I want. And it's worth it. Yeah. And it's sad that it has to get to that point sometimes. But sometimes when you actually make a firm stance, this is what I want and this is what I deserve. I'm 30 now. I'm not going to fucking remain. Then they're like, shit. I love her. And he's going to meet another woman. I'll do it. It's very unlikely he's going to meet another woman.

the woman where she might not want, she might want the same as her as well. Yeah, no, the chances are higher than wanting it than not wanting it, probably. And that sort of age group anyway. Yeah. Rich, would you like to come and have a little, um, show your opinion on that one? We've got Richard back. I'm back again. From a male perspective.

This is not a regular thing, by the way. This is, well, hopefully not. You never know. What we're thinking, White, when I go on my maternity, Zoe, needs a co-host for a few episodes. daddy could do what's the point in daddy doing it when mommy could do it that's very fucking true Zoe that's very fucking true

I don't know why I'm shouting at me you're the one I said Richard wasn't really in the plan because you will be together looking after baby male perspective on the dilemma please from what she said to me I'm going to be probably a little bit harsher and I might be completely wrong she said that's my opinion

one he doesn't want children two he probably doesn't want to get married but he just doesn't want to probably doesn't want to have a conversation because he doesn't want to hurt her and he probably thinks if he says this then that's their relationship over do you know what I mean yeah he's probably comfortable

but on the other hand they're 30 years old like what are you in a rush for like why are you rushing to get married ultimately what's going to change if you get married like what fuck all apart from the fact you get a ring and you have a big wedding and from a guy's point of view

it's probably that's what she wants as just a big party and a big wedding and it's like we're going to spend all this money for something that's not really going to change like the amount of people that I know that I've got married I say oh how's married just the same nothing's changed

we just had a big party and spent a lot of money do you know what I mean so just maybe give them a wee bit of a break or just say to them like listen I don't want to put pressure on you but someday I do want to get married maybe more of a compromise I think it's because she wants to and every time they're out on a day

or they go on holiday or something she's wanting that to happen he just wants to go holiday and enjoy Lisbon is that thing? The boy just wants some past old thanat is not like that. Does that make sense? Yeah, like she's assuming

that it's on the plans and it's actually maybe completely not. Like maybe he just never wants to. You know, the regs maybe never coming? Do you know what else as well when women are expecting something for so long they stop enjoying themselves in this situation because they get themselves so worked up

and then I just feel like it will come when you least expect it so if you actually just loosen up and relax probably be as well as well as friends are saying oh this this will be the holiday that he proposes this will be the word get your nails done it's like mate I just want to fucking enjoy the view while we have dinner

yeah and we've all been in those situations of our pals as well and you can be the friend who's also doing that which is annoying that might be wrong he might want to get married at some point you're only I don't know how old the boy is but you're 30 years old

like what are you in a rush for maybe he's got the ring and he's throwing her off scent maybe we'll probably make he's in a putting good job I don't know I hope he proposes

and I hope you have kids I think you need to have a stay in conversation that Skedong let's put it on the other foot then let's pretend like I'm in this situation you are the way you are

and I said to you listen I really want to get married and have children, what would you say to me? Because we've been together the same amount of time as this girl as well. What would you do? I'd say I'll tell you I'm not really that bothered about one having get married and two like if we have children great like at some point you probably get to a stage where you like I'd actually do. But it's not just it's not because you don't not into that person. Do you know what I mean? Um, marriage wise.

it'd be a compromise between like, right, okay, we'll get married, that's fine. But I'm not having a big wedding. It's not going to be expensive. Like if we're going to get married, it's going to be me or you, three or four other people. Me. Yeah, so it. And then that'll be it. I genuinely do think people just want to get married to have this whole big Disney bollocks.

Yeah. I do think a lot of girls are like... Sorry if you've had that. I mean, I hope you had a good time. But you know when you said you've heard a lot of guys say that, It's just the same. I have heard that too, but I have also heard a lot of people say

it's just different. They just feel different. I spoke to one of my older friends about marriage ages and ages ago. Oh, yeah? And he said, because I was saying the same thing to him. I was like, what's changed?

He said, you're not married you on. What's the difference? And it's just having the whole, he said he feels like he, it's not just him going through life. It's horror as well, do you know what I mean? Yeah. he said anytime I want to

it sounds ridiculous but anytime I'm on a plane I know that if this plane crashes she'll be okay oh yeah because there's a lot of legal things with marriage isn't there yeah but then that's what makes me think like well it's all just a legal thing well it is though rich

yeah so he said it's nice in one angle but if you look at another it's just fucking paperwork like if you turn around to me today and said like I want you to wear like say we're married say you're my wife and wear a ring and do it oh thousands and thousands of pounds saved

but you love you me. Do you what I mean? Like I would wear it and be like, yeah, I'm maddie. You'd look quite sexy with me. There's been a lot of lots of people who said like, how's your wife doing? I'm sorry. Yeah, she's so. She's getting on all right. I think men in rings are hot as far. I think saying husband,

I used to think that was E and now I think it's quite attractive. Yeah, I suppose when I'm 15 and I'm still calling you my boyfriend. That might have to partner. I say partner though and you You take the piss out of me for saying that. Spouse. Is it spouse?

That's if you're married, though. No, that's if you're married. Right, I'm away, guys. Thanks very much, Richard. Thanks, Mickey. You know, another funny old phrase that my nan says to me, my grandma, sorry, my dad's mom,

you're still courting then? Like, what? Cauting? I mean, you're still dating? Oh, like, that is old. That is old, but she still says it to me now. I'm like, yeah, grandma, I've got a baby in my belly wolf.

still courting still shagging right I think that's enough for today yeah and if you want more we'll be on Patreon with some more dilemmas

please actually send in your we love to hear what you guys think as well because it's not always our opinion that it's just our opinion

should I say you know we're not experts on this sort of stuff it doesn't mean we're right if you've been in that situation

let us know how you got out of it one way or another. And neither me or you are married, neither me and you are really that bothered about it. So it's one of those things where we can't truly relate and I know there'll be some girls

that would answer that and be going fuck him off, like, fuck him off, but you don't want you. Which is absolutely fair enough. It's different as well because I know I will get married. Yeah.

But there's no, neither of us are in any rush. We just know we will get married one day. That's lovely. And if Jason proposed tomorrow, I'd be happy. If he proposed these in five years, I'd be happy.

Yeah. that's the same with me in which you felt I'm happy if he proposed me but I just don't there's just no pressure for me I'm not yeah it's what you're spending on a ring right now we've got a bathroom to do you know what I mean Morrie can I ask you a question you do have to answer and don't you dare cut yourself out you're married to Kay right

do you feel different when you got married no really I thought you'd be a different I thought you'd answer different to that but just nice though do you like calling how your wife makes no difference to my vocabulary or how I appeal a bit of her so. So that's nice. Did you want marriage or

did she or both? A mutual thing. I proposed it was, we've been a long distance for five or so years so I just felt like the next natural progression. Was to marry, yeah. But that's true he doesn't feel any different towards. He still loved her whether they were married or not.

I hate to say it, but I do think people look for the next step because something's missing a lot of the time. But I agree, Zoe, but also society. I don't want you to feel pressure because your friends are like that. I think people just think it's the next thing they do. Yeah, Rich put his hand up like he was in school there. They're not doing it then.

They're not moving forward when it's not the case route. Yeah. You might not have heard him there, but he said if he feels like it's the next best thing people want to do, if you're not doing it, you're not moving forward. But there's no progression in your relationship. And everyone feels like in life it's like you're born, you go to school, you go to uni by the way

this is the path to success should they say in quotations then you meet you lose your virginity at the right time with your love of your life and then you get married or propose to

married then the children come because God forbid you have a children before you get married and then you have a little dog and you live in that perfect little house and you both have wonderful fucking jobs that you needed to go to uni for

and there's no issues in between but listen guys that's all in the movies. That's all the shite. Before we finish, actually, speaking of dogs. Oh, fucking how! I've got a dog.

Yay! A pup. And by the way, apologies to anyone I've ever said in life that dogs are boys because I've got a girl dog. You said what? I always say dogs are boys.

Interesting. I've got a girl. Oh, wee girl. Called Cookie. Can we put a picture on screen? Insert a picture here. Thanks, Murray. My child.

Aww. She's so cute. What sort of dog is it placed? She's a push-on. Which is a mix between a toy poodle and a bejeon. And fun fact, the only two dogs we've had as a family are a toy puddle and a bejeon. So it's a mix of the two. Oh.

I didn't know that. I thought you meant you've had that mix. No. On the other two dogs that you had. No. So you had Bailey and Niro. Niro was a toy poodle black and Bailey was a bejeon white, obviously. And now cookies are wee like apricot.

colour. Aw. Ginger. That's lovely. She's so cute. She's nibbly though. And she's a diva. She has a diva.

And we went to pick her up. The woman did say like she's getting at you and I thought perfect. Perfect. We love her. Does Jason love her? Yeah, he loves her. And he was all I'm not bothered about a dog. We're no getting a dog and then he was the one that went to let's sack off getting a Christmas tree. We're going to see

the dog. I went, come on there. You put your tree up today? I think I will. I'm not got one yet. I was supposed to go up to Duff trees and pick it up yesterday and we had to go see the dog instead oh bloody hell speaking of duff trees by the way we forgot to mention they gave us cute wee four many trees we did for the event

we decorated them with the prizes for the games yeah they were lovely we had loads of wee bubbles from space and k like beauty bubbles yeah and if you've not get your tree yet when you're listening to this because you might not if you get a real one duff trees is about an hour away from Glasgow and that's what they do all year grow all the Christmas trees

and you go and pick the one you want and they cut it down for you bit like pumpkin patching but go and pick your tree But they've got pizza there and coffee and hot chocolate and all that's quite like a thing. That's a day out? Yep. Oh, that's a nice day out there. That's a good idea. They also gave us a prize for someone to win that, which was nice.

Oh, they did, like a duff tree experience. Anyway, God. Hope you enjoyed that long episode there. Thanks for listening as always. And we'll see you over on the bonus. Love you. Okay, bye. Bye.

Say bye, Rich. Hi.