A Lot On Your Plate - S5 Ep21: ALOYP X Girls Overheard

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

This week on ALOYP we are joined by the amazing Ash, Eilidh & Lauren from fellow Glasgow based podcast, Girl's Overheard. We get the 411 on how they all met and what made them start a podcast together. We also pick their brains about motherhood and find out what their top tips for all mums-to-be are! P.s. they are a barrel of laughs. Enjoy💖  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday, guys. Welcome back to a lot on your plate, but this time it is a lot of girls on your plate. We have the girls over heard. Girlie's here with us today. Say hi, girl. Hello. Right, girlies, this has been a long time coming.

It has. We're going to do this. But when did it be last meet? Was that in the summer? It was the Scottish Influencer Awards. It was March, April. None of us fucking won. It's the loser's table.

Actually, never we get pat in the back room. We had nowhere to that. That was terrible. It was, wasn't it? We slammed it in a. No, it was just poor that we didn't get a seat. Yeah. Because we never paid for the ticket, though, to be there to the award ceremony that we got invited to.

Oh, Lauren. Is that tea getting spilled over there? We've said it before as well. We've said it in ours. Yeah. It wasn't the best. It wasn't. It wasn't.

We could do what we could do. We could actually, we could have our own little awards right now. We take her own awards. And then all we do, right, is go to, like, Timpsons or, like, you know, like a key cut in place? I'm going to get in the middle. We'll just go there and buy a trophy and then just get our own engraving

and say, pop podcast in Scotland. Girls on your plate, boom, sit at the table. Nobody's going to know. Nobody's going to dispute that. We could have a full wall of plaques behind us and nobody's going to know. We've also certificates and stuff. Like, health and safety.

Like, we could do all of that. It's not funny you could just literally make up and awards her. and just be like and then the next thing it's the fucking BAFTAs and the bio and all that's what they've done two times award winning

it means we got to meet exactly and here we are silver linens share the studio with the up next sorry our producers are the same up next studio guys this is what we have a little pop-up set

if you're looking on YouTube you can see that we've got a little bit of a mismatch going on I really like it I actually really like it and it's huge it's like we added an extension onto our house

yeah so we're room for activities proper living room we love it so how did you guys How did you guys start doing this? You were in before us, weren't you? Yeah, so we've been here now almost a year, isn't it?

I think it was, well, we joined, we started back this season in February a year ago. Yeah, so we were looking for a new studio. Long story short, we ended up, it was a very weird, like somebody was speaking to me about a studio set, I got an email, and I thought, you know what, I'll just follow this up. The guys had never done a podcast before, so we came and met them, and we were blown away, weren't we?

And it's been a life-changing experience. Yeah. But you know what? You live and you learn? think that's even the same with us like we started in like a little studio no video nothing in the fact we started doing our own clips simply on socials uh-huh we literally had out a three individual cameras that we'd set up on time on earth we should have got a clapper actually that would have made it so much different than sitting there going one two three go no loran

we did do that and then we made their own clapper we're going toppy and then someone would be out of time obviously haley that would be the hardest bit I was trying to clap at the same time I used to go back because I've got all those clips and I want to get all the claps and make a compilation of class you should you should

please just do ALE's though out of time we used to do that and we used to edit on our phones the three separate tracks on like whatever app it was and it would take us hours because you were trying to line them all up

did you guys edit your own podcast then before no we had nothing to edit in the audio but we used to do the clips we never had any video whatsoever so then I got it like having video was completely different.

Yeah. And we actually liked it more. Because you record something completely different. At the beginning, the good motherhood. The good motherhood. The good motherhood.

With Ailey Wells, Ashreed and Lauren Kerr. Is that how you made it? You had a kernel. I don't need to go back. See if you do go back. Please don't. It's fucking embarrassing.

We've got completely different voices. We were so, not paranoid, but we were so aware of our accents. First of all, talking too fast, which now we just do freely and people still see

to understand. but we spoke so slow. Why? Because you had English listeners. Yeah, I don't know why. I had a lisp on one episode. I don't know why. We listened back to it and we were like,

we were all sitting together and we were going, and we're going to mention Ely's got a list. Stop it. How did that happen? I must have just tried to be quirky for one day. And I gave myself a week. Yeah. I do think having a podcast gives you a right complex though.

It's taken us some time, hasn't it? Yeah. Let's talk about the connections here. So pet everyone, our listeners know a little bit about you because I only found out that you two were sister-in-laws a couple weeks ago. As Mrs. Got married. Well, it only became official a couple of weeks ago, to be fair.

There was no law before. There was no law. What do you mean? They were sister-in-law. Right, you know, don't be a cunt about it, Ely. Let's explain that then, right? So, Ash, your husband, Fraser, is... No, sorry, that's the wrong way round.

Ash and Lauren... Got me to explain, really? Yeah. I forgot. I just know. I don't know each other. I'm going to teach Ailey the connection here. by the way, because she doesn't know.

But basically, my brother, only brother, I've only got one sibling, Chris, is married to Lauren. Gorgeous. Married. We only actually, I know, hi, Mrs. I've got a husband. Hubby, hubster. You actually, we didn't know each other prior to you getting together

because the first night I ever met Lauren, she was friends with people that I was friends with through work because you went to school with them. So we went in the same night out, I've seen her, and then all of a sudden my brother picked her up from the night out. He'd pick me up but we're not going to get into it because I like her now

but she was a bitch the first night. You kept staring at me and I was like why does that girl keep saying to know the reason why you kept staring at me because you were going I'm going to shag her brother that's why you kept looking at me. She doesn't even know it yet and she doesn't even know it. This girl is literally living her life holding on to the ceiling in common slut dropping for her life and drinking pound drinks

and I had no idea what was to come zero taxi. it feels like yesterday when I start talking about it again because the anger goes to my veins but truly it was 15 years ago 15 years and you're similar ages you too

yeah I'm a year older yeah really yeah because you're pregnant I'll let you away with it but see that reaction what you're older than her that actually gave up really wrong you're older than crampus

hey wrinkles I came out wrong I came out really wrong but you do give me your energy just be glad you've got baby on George. How old are you? How old are you?

How old are you? Guess. Okay. Don't do that. No, I hate that. I hate the guessing game. You've got two kids. Well, that doesn't matter.

You're 30. How old am I? I'm going to say similar to me, probably. 31? My 31? You're 32. By the way, I keep forgetting. That's so bad, doesn't it?

Yeah, but as soon as you go over there, I feel like you forget. Yeah, but I don't really know. I don't feel like I feel 34 either. I think I'm still 28. Yeah. How old are you? 35 am I the oldest here how old are you sorry do you want to try that again

28 oh yeah I'm the oldest one here I'm 36 this year this is why you're in the middle because you're the you're the one that's holding this I can't move her neck that much I'm grandma and this is my house this is my living room welcome everyone all your grandkids come and out you see you so now we've got that straight so tell us how you three actually started your podcast

and what it's about what's the connection to really Oh, yeah. Oh, there's none who just picked it up. Can't get fucking rid of it? No, my husband, Andy, his best friends with Ash's husband for a. Oh, right. So they've been best friends literally since like nursery.

Yeah, since we were a baby here. They've lived in the same street and all that. So we had like all cross pass a few times when we were younger, hadn't we? We hadn't ever like become close until like the last maybe a few years. But there's pictures of us all together at various like families. family things, like Ella's first birthday. Baby showers and all that.

There's pictures of us together. Weirdly, actually, we live not that far from each other. We're literally in neighbouring villages. Yeah. But grew up in those, like, all went to different schools, completely different schools, but we live, like, not that far from each other. And we're all kind of like similar ages as well. Never once knew each other.

That's weird because you usually do. Like, I would know people from the next town along just because that's where my school was. Never knew who Ely was, never knew who Lorne was. But now when we talk about stories, sometimes similar characters were in both of our lives. It's really weird. I always thought that you three knew each other through Instagram. Yeah, that was just coincidental.

Yeah. Anyway, so, like, the chances of all of that happening for the pod to come together was really slim. Do you know what I mean? I suggested in a podcast. Me? Yeah. And it was back when, it was a weird,

I always say that this is like the butterfly effect, right? you know that like one thing can happen and it can change everything i had started speaking to a friend that i used to work with like 10 15 years before like ages got back in touch with i was like how are you blah blah blah and um off the back of that conversation he then phoned me back a week later and he was like i've got a friend who's starting a podcast company and he's wondering like who could do a podcast and i suggested you and i was like all right okay well like lauren and ash would be great for that like I've already got friends that are kind of doing Instagram sort of thing and off the back of that one phone call like just messaging him

and being like how are you and stuff we ended up with the podcast it's brilliant and that was four years ago five years ago that was this is the fifth year yeah yeah yeah this is the fifth year it was just after lockdown and it doesn't feel like it's been like real until the last year yeah girls overhaired has only been the last maybe like two years it's strange do you three do this full time with your instagram yeah oh that's amazing What were you guys? How did you meet? We used to work together.

Where am I from? Lester. And when did you move here? Eight years ago. Just eight years ago. Just eight years ago. Just gone there, yeah. Oh, girl. I came in for love. Which list? Does that down the bottom?

It's in the Midlands, like near Birmingham, Coventry, all that way. Oh, you don't say. I'm very, like, um, medicine. No, you don't recommend. No, I do love, I do love Lester Shire, like the outskirts of it. But the city centres, I wouldn't, I wouldn't recommend a night out of there. but I moved up here for Rich he is Scottish but he played football down south

in Cambridge at the time and I was in Leicester then I moved to London for two years and then I moved up here with him when he signed for Motherwell so he signed there for five years so I think that was like a good enough time for me to be like right I'll pack my bags I'll leave London move up and then we were quite lucky because I think in the football world a lot of girls that do move with their partner

they tend to have to go and move their life again after a year because it's just not dead certain you know what you know how it is like sport but we got really lucky so we've never had to move and so I felt like I could really settle and make a life here got a job at quiz

because I was always in the fashion industry and that's where I met Zoe Oh my God, did you work at quiz? Yeah for about four years feeling of my friend then Kerry McShinn Me and Kerry were like the closest Oh Kerry's my actual best pal for uni

That's the weirdest thing Yeah so me and then is that how you made like jelly and you're all pals to do New York Me and Kerry were really close Like she was my buyer I was the international department She was international buyer

We went to New York together We stayed at hotel rooms Like she was probably my closest working relationship at quiz. So, yeah, so I went to quiz for four or five years in the international department. At Zoe, so he was really a real

young pup there. We went on a work trip to New York together and we got close there, didn't we? Yeah, well, I started. I did an internship when I was 20 there. And then I went and volunteered in the Caribbean, being a tennis coach for a month. Oh, what the phone? Oh, just dropped that in there.

Yeah, she loves to just throw that in every now and again. By the way, are you playing badminton quite obvious? It's very good. Oh, there's a plot twist here. Oh. I'd never played tennis before. It's just like when people say I'm going to go and teach English in China. Yeah.

And they've never been a teacher. Yeah. It was exactly that. And don't speak. I just wanted to go and be in the Caribbean for a month. And it was just like that sort of Camp America, but in the Caribbean. So me and my pal just said, well, we actually picked netball as our first sport. You played that?

Never. Which, by the way, thank fuck because they did tournaments and all. It's hard. They've got positions. Yeah, there's rules. Yeah. And then... You can't you, aren't you, and that?

Yeah, like, we had no idea. And then you picked a second one, and we picked tennis. And it was for a month, and it was great. But anyway, when I came back, someone from the team at Quiz was leaving, so I went for that job when I got it, and I just turned 21. So that's when I met you. Yeah. I didn't really know you for a while.

No. And then we went to New York, I think, a few months later. It was at Christmas time for work. Yes, so basically, I used to work in the international, like, buying sort of side, completely away from you actually nowhere near you but I was doing a pop-up shop in Macy's Lord and Taylor sorry

with sort of like did a takeover but Zoe managed influencers so I went over there on my own it might have been with Kerry actually and then you came over with all the influences and that's how we sort of that was with Kay because I remember seen it on Instagram how weird that I would have seen pictures of you

and just not have it ever connected to those bad isn't it? It's not weird and how did you end up doing the podcast? So yeah so anyway I ended up leaving I also ended up leaving quiz a few years later she went to Future Beauty Labs

which is Tanlux, Isle Paradise, Tanologist because that's based in Glasgow. So we went there, did the influencer there and then I ended up moving over a few months later. Yeah, like a year later. We always stayed in contact, we were good friends and then... What I don't understand, those where our group chat came from

with the quiz girls, it must be well before that. Yeah, no, it was. I think just because everyone left and we always wanted to stay in contact for something. Yeah. or other. Anyway, I then had Just Just Food on the side. So for any of your listeners that don't know, don't know me, but I have an Instagram which is like a Food and Travel sort of thing called Just Just

Food, which was sort of picking up over COVID and it got so big in like 2020, 2020, so big. Yeah, but it got because everyone was talking about it. It got big. It was doing well because a lot of people are making food at home. Anyway, I ended up leaving Future Beauty, Lasbe, as I was to go full time with it in 2021. Got to the point where I didn't have management. I mean, you go to. know how it works with Instagram. I didn't know. And people were asking me for fees of things.

I had no idea what I was doing. I would have done anything for fucking phrase. She takes piss at me all the time. And Zoe used to manage influencers. So she was like, listen, I'll just help you out a little bit. So she was always helping me out. Like contracts and shit. And then one time Zoe was like quite unhappy in her job.

And she's like, I want to do something extra. I was like, how about you actually come and manage me? I'll employ you. I didn't know that. I'm a manager still. Even style. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. So then Zoe did that for a bit. and ended up leaving future beauty labs and starting Quinn management. But I wanted to expand just in a way where I could show my personality a bit more and podcasts were becoming really popular but I thought, you know what,

I want to get in at the right time. And I said to her, I need somebody that I can bounce off with somebody that's completely different to me like ying and yang, which we are, but we work well. And I thought, would you do it with me? Zoe, like anyone knew Zoe from like even two years ago

they would have laughed until they were blue in the face if you said that Zoe was going to be on a podcast because of just how mellow she is and just... I'm just behind the camera. Yeah. Not in front. And I can't even believe

I still convince you to this day to do it. Well, I'd bought you a podcast mic as part of a secret satana and I think you should do a podcast. Yeah. Show your personality more, blah, blah, blah. And then there was a couple of months of I'm going to do it but I don't know who with.

I've got loads of foodie friends out there, like take your pick. I didn't really want it to be purely food-focused because I can chat shit about everything. Because of my background with fashion and beauty, I've just travel, it wasn't just food I didn't want to talk about but I still want it to be a lot on your plate

which can be referred to as offloading dilemmas as well as what's been eating so I thought that's perfect It's the best name It's good, isn't it? That took is a while as well And see the thing is it's funny right You see when you actually think of a podcast name

You always overthink it But as soon as you get something It doesn't matter what it is I mean how many businesses have you seen before you go That's a bit of a shit name But it just sticks As soon as you've got it It's like we have got it

It's like we have had so many, how many panic meetings did we have? Oh, yeah. What, when you be branded all originally? Even the first time now, it's so hard to end up the good motherhood or what it even meant. To be honest. Did you change it because? What does it mean? What does it mean?

How did we end up on that? Who knows? Is that because you girls like, obviously initially started it because you had something coming with being like new mums? Yeah. But then maybe just started talking about all this shit when your kids were getting older. Yeah. It was actually our listeners actually directed the way the podcast went it wasn't really us.

Because we would eventually tell a funny story and then someone would say, oh, what about this that happened at my weekend or whatever and then we would read that out and then eventually it would be like nothing to do with the kids. I just had to tell you this funny story and then before you know it, we went down big nostalgia holes

of like all the things we did at school. And then it would be like, before you knew it, it just kind of steps so far away from the mum stuff. I think we also, when we first started, we always thought that you had to have a topic. So we would, before we went in like, what are we talking about tonight? And we would plan like, right,

will we talk about, and it would always be something motherhood related, and we'd plan every section of it. And then before we know, we were like, ah, it was like, taller tantrums. It's very embarrassing. Do you remember we did an entire, an entire episode about Kate Middleton?

What? What? No, not about Kate Middleton. Megan Markle. It was after that big documentary came out. Oh, yeah. We were like, we'll do an episode on that. We spoke for the full hour. And then I think eventually we realized, we don't need a topic. And even now, we don't get topics. We just come in, We don't do it off later, really.

We worry, though, because we say, we haven't got anything to talk about it. I'm like, Zoe, even more he laughs and we're like, and the bonus, what I'm going to talk about, we just waffle on. I know. For fucking England. And that can't chat people like.

And they love it. Yeah. And sometimes when we're like, what do you prefer? They're like, we just want to hear you two talk. Yeah. I know. And sometimes you think that you chat shit, but it's not. Well, it is.

It's a great. It's a company. It's almost like the same version of like the pure car crash telly that we watched. Yes. But just in audio form. Exactly. I know. like that. Whenever we meet people out and about

they're like, it just feels like I'm listening to voice to my pals. Yeah. Yeah. Which is the best. I think that's what's going on. When you listen start to understand you as a person and your personality you don't, you know, you start being a little bit less like unfiltered and yeah. I don't know it's just oh we were terrified to say anything at the start weren't we? Yeah. We used to get back and we would call it PPSD.

Post podcast. Stress disorder. Stress disorder. That's brilliant. I don't believe we said that, but it was this it was the slightest thing that we'd be like you need to take that out because somebody could be offended by that. And now we're a lot, we still do it sometimes. Yeah, we do as well. But not anywhere near as much as we used to at the start.

No, we used to have 50 cuts. Yeah, it's us. And we used to have mental breakdowns. Remember there was a time before when we spoke about the first time you'd ever smoke the fag. We were going, we can't say fag? Having literally a cobra meeting, can we say fag? I'm like, it means cigarette, but can we say it?

I know. Is it an explicit content episode now because we've said fag. Exactly. too when we just one more time I just fucking know but yeah now I think the mentality

is see if someone's listening to the podcast and they're offended by it maybe this is just not the podcast for you exactly you're just not the right vibe for this which is fine just move on

I just think that everything I say is right so you're wrong if you think it's really right she does she does she does she does I think the other thing we spoke about last week as well like see just generally that whole like notion

that everything that you consume online on audible whatever however you're listening to stuff the fact that you think that other people's opinions need to match yours is such a self-centered way to be. How narcissistic

are you that you have to scroll down your TikTok and be like well I don't agree with this and I have to say something about it. It's not for you. Like not everything's for you. It's so weird. Everyone's offended by everything up now these days. Yeah, exactly. I wonder how many people are listening that listen to both of our podcast. Well I was going to say that next actually. I thought we've got a very

definitely a very similar demographic but the problem the problem. The difference is me and Zoe aren't married and we don't have children. Now I'm going into that sort of motherhood. I think I'm even learning so much stuff every single week and I'm talking

about it. And you realize the amount of people that message you and they're like, they're all moms and I'm like, I didn't realize how many people were moms that listen to our podcast because maybe it's just a release for them to listen to something that's not about motherhood or they're now feeling like they can join in because it's relatable to them. I don't know.

But yeah, I definitely think that's a crossover for sure. Yeah, it's weird, our demographic is definitely the same as yours, but also we've got a lot of really young girls that listen. Have you? Yeah, because quite often we'll get people saying, like, can we come to the live show? What's the age limit? I'm 16, can I come? Really?

Do you think that's because they see you on TikTok? Probably, but then we also have the other side of it, like, my mum's 60, and loads of her pals all listen. Yeah, I've got some, like, way, like, even older than, and guys, we get loads of, it's weird, we actually went through a phase where I think we must have shouted that out in the podcast, and said, like, we have loads of guys who do long-distance

driving that listen, right? And then after that, we get, like, another guy saying, I drive at an Arctic and I listen to you too. And then before, with all these messages, like, I listen to you and I'm a driver. Wow. So strange that you would just never,

I would never see somebody getting out of an Arctic at, like, services and think, better listening to your podcast. It's so weird. Because when you are sitting in this room, you're just having a conversation, you just completely forget the amount of people

it goes out to. I know, so strange. But don't see if you overthink about it. So you do then start to go shouldn't really be saying that. I shouldn't say that. I have moments all the time when I'm like, why the fuck am I on YouTube?

Yeah. Like, why the fuck is my face on YouTube? And then my Instagram goes private and then I'm like, to the world. And then the next day you're like, no, it's fine. You put your Instagram private sometimes? It was private for like six months here, yeah. Mine's been private for a couple years.

What? Really? Well, you're just Jess one? No, God, no, no, no. Oh, hey, okay. A personal one, yeah. Oh yeah, I don't have a personal one. That is just like there is no work-life balance with me.

Yeah, it's just all in going cung-ho as Lauren would say Even on my personal I still only mostly use close friends on it Yeah, I just think it's got But I'm happy to share a lot of my life It's just, I don't know It's weird, when you put so much out there

Sometimes you need to reserve a little bit, I feel You're sure your guys Yeah, you don't know, do you? I don't ever, just don't ever do it And it's so funny Because the day, I just don't want to It's not his thing, it's my thing Yeah, I love that

It's my thing Also, it's so funny The other day I had a little bit of contact dermatitis under my finger because I hadn't like dried my hand properly I'd did a lot of cleaning. Yeah. It's not ooh. It's just sore.

It's not ooh. It was just itchy, right? In phase it was like if it's itchy, take your wedding rings off and your engagement and just leave it for a few days. You wouldn't know that she only just got married off of her. Exactly. Give it one man. Where's your wrinkles?

Don't leave me hanging. I just like the fact that she was on my side there like you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know because you're just fetched. Who about as well? I'm married. I don't wear him here. Do not. No, never.

A least loving. You actually gave me such a, you gave me such a complex because Lauren was like, why do you never wear your wedding rings? I just, mine are white gold so they don't match my gold. You never wear yours

and you never get the message of why you're not wearing your wedding ring. No, I don't know if you ever asks. I've had that a couple of times. I have had a few times. And then he needs that they got a message. Hi, this lovely picture. Why are you not wearing your wedding though?

No way. No way. I'm like, what was that I replied? Because I'm going to do a divorce. Shut the fuck out. Oh, you said he wouldn't let me watch Love Island last night? Well, that was it for me to be honest. Do you guys get a lot of negativity on Instagram?

Not anymore. No? No. You're fucking welcome at Jess. I actually do. I do. I do think that it's like, see, there's something about being in numbers now. Honestly, I believe this.

See, since we got the podcast and it's the three of us, I feel like we don't individually get... No. ...stick because it's like, I feel as if when somebody was to give me stick out of each of us individually, it's like, but they've got another two with them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And there's like approaching a group to slap. Scream!

Scream! Leave them all! The reason I ask is because I totally agree with you on that as well because when you're on a podcast you open up and it's like what else could you possibly say? I can tell you everything.

But it's more, since I've become pregnant, I cannot believe the amount of messages or interest that it's created. Yeah. You can tell you things. Yeah, yeah.

Don't do this. Don't do that. Which, to be fair, it's not been bad. I know it comes from a good place and I have said openly like I don't want to hear it and I think you've respected that. But I don't have respected that.

But, I just think, you know, because all three of you have, is your Instagram handle so, ma'am I read, or is it changed now? Like, if you get anything to do with, like, your children or... Oh, wait, so the worst one you'll get, it'll be car seat stuff. Oh, yeah, well...

Don't watch them in their car seat. Just don't show them in their car seat. I don't care how cute they are when they're sleeping. Don't show them in their car seat because you'll absolutely get sick. What's wrong with the car seat? Oh, their belt's not sitting properly, that needs to be lowered down. This should be in a bus day. Oh, you know, all I hate that is mum's saying

stuff that you're saying, so I'm like, where are these other mum's coming from. Yeah. They're not moms? They're not, yeah, they're just in the trenches somewhere I don't know. They're under a bridge. Honestly, they literally are. That would be a whole new thing for you though, Jess. Like, see when you, if you start

posting stuff about it, you do get, especially in baby days, there's something about that era that she... She didn't have a cardigan on in the car seat. Yeah, she have a jack-on. People would love to correct you on that. See, if you ask for it, like, oh, like any tips on getting the baby to sleep, people will... I won't be doing that, though. No, don't know. Honestly, ask your pals.

Ask your pals before you ask anyone. So what do you think of this? This is my theory, right? So I'm unsure about showing my children on social media. I'm still undecided on that one. Knowing me, I'll probably think they're cute as fuck and I'd be like, oh my God, love. Oh, my God, yeah.

But I'm still undecided on, well, I have decided that for the first two weeks I'm not having any visitors at all. Oh, perfect. I wish. I love that boundary. That's perfect. You think?

Yes. Because, like, we've spoke about that before, like, the amount of times that you feel that you have to please other people when you've just had a baby. Do whatever you want to do. also, like, see the thing is as well, like, you won't realize until you've had the baby, right? But your emotions might make you feel pissed off and resentful to everyone else.

The fact that they'll walk in and the first thing they do is going to look at the baby. And I know that sounds dead self-centered, right? But see when you've literally just been through the whole thing, you just feel a wee bit, like, ah, right? So at least two weeks in, you're going, right, hormones have settled down a bit, kind of in my flow, know what I'm doing. It does feel better to handle a two-week baby rather than a two-day. Yeah, but you're more confident as well. Like, yeah.

Because remember, I'm up here with just me and Richard's no family. So if they come up, they'd have to physically stay. So I was thinking, right, I'm going to set that boundary. All I've seen on any videos of mum was ever saying, like, if I did this the second time around, this is what I would change. And that seems to be always the first one. Boundaries with visitors. And I think I'm going to actually take that advice and do that because I think I'll regret it. I'll never get this time back, just Richard and Ryan, if I had another child donated down the line,

then you've got that other child to think about. So it's never going to be just the three of you. Yeah. Do you what I mean? Yep. But that's what I'm going to do. He's not going to have a lot of time off work either in that first couple weeks. And it's very difficult to get him just pinned down and stay.

And I think this might make him stay. Fuck knows, fluke. I want to say. I'm still wondering if it's his. I'm not the ones that even it won't. Exactly. Honestly, it was a fluke. But yeah, I just thought interested in that because everyone that I've told that

have been like the same reaction as you. Like, absolutely. even my mum took it quite well. Yeah. That would be the only ones that would take it as well as like eager grandparents I think that is the only difference

but I think see like external visitors like friends of friends and all that to be honest you're kind of giving them a bit extra time as well because they'll feel the pressure of going oh my God she had the baby a week ago and I've still not seen it yet. Yeah that's true. So sometimes people actually quite like that

I've gone like alright okay just like what you were saying about like posting are you going to post pictures of your baby or are you thinking or you're not going to do that? I'm still undecided on that one. See I always like Matt, right, everyone obviously has their own thing on how they think, but I always think, say with a baby

when people cover their baby's face. Yeah, we've spoke about this. I don't see the point on putting a baby on. Here's my baby in the cot and then putting a big emoji over its face. You said that as well not, you might as well not post it. You know, feel free not to post that. Like the emoji can be removed. Yeah.

It's the same, like, when, remember there was that video about was it not the girl or something doing the like striptease dance? Yeah, with the red light. Oh, that was black and the red light. And basically, are you worried about your other career? I'm like, and they were able to pull it off and then change all the lighting. So it was basically just if she was dancing in this room. Do you know what we're talking about when they do the flicker and it literally goes red light?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was about two years ago in TikTok. Apparently if you do put emoji over your children, you need to screenshot the picture of that and then post that. Oh, that effort just so much work. Either post your kids or don't. I don't. Seeing the best well in the world as well, even they're a baby, they don't fucking look like that

in the next, like, three months anyway. Nobody's going to be like, oh, I recognise you. I saw a photo you when you were six weeks old. That's not going to happen. You're going to worry about that at that age. See, really, they're grown up in a world where they're going to have a digital footprint anyway. They're not going to not have one. So, like, I just think really, it's not, like,

I think each to their own. But for me, I'm just like, they're going to have this stuff anyway. I've got a nearly 10-year-old and she pure loves, like, don't make me dance video centre. pals, what's that, and all that. Like, you can't escape it. I think it's so dependent on the child as well. Like, and what you post. It's very dependent on what you're putting on. 100%. I have two. And I have one who constantly, Marcus is constantly like,

mom, take a photo with this, take a video with this. Put me all over TikTok is literally what he tells me. And I'm like, stop for a second. Whereas my older boy doesn't want photos taking, he doesn't like it. So I wouldn't be taking, I wouldn't force him to get photos taking or videos, whatever if you don't like it. Unless it was a day where he was just wanting to stand for it anyway. Yeah. But my other one is all for it. So I'm like it just completely depends. One thing I would say I cannot bear it when it's like

because I see this quite a lot God I don't even know how to say it out loud but you know when you go to like dance competitions and that kind of thing right not L as a group but you do see it because they'll be like I don't know thousands of people there right and they'll be going stand stand still but do your do your heel stretch

pull it higher pull it higher and their poor moaning their kids going right right smile smile smile smile and then do it right happy happy it's like the mom's not happy with the picture the mom's fucking raging about the photo post it my world my little angel

so talented my world Lauren you've got three kids fuck off yeah what are their ages so Jack's the eldest and he is he's only 14 this year and I don't really post him that much anymore purely because his pals follow me

in Instagram so he doesn't want to be embarrassed I think that's not a age where it becomes embarrassing there's nothing. Yeah. But um and then the girls like they're what age is she just turned seven and Willis is almost six so. Why is just my child?

She's the same age as Charlie and um yeah they I've got a load of videos on my phone of like Willis going like twice the night before Christmas and all through the house like I've got a full Grinch story and everything she loves doing that but they're not I don't mind posting them. Yeah yeah but I feel like my I feel like I probably

started off when the kids were babies and did a lot of like baby stuff like Nora was raging Nora at that point and everybody seemed to love that but I feel like my family stuff 's kind of dropped off a wee bit it's because we're not with them as much through school all day

yeah that is your whole life I think it's more for me is the people giving me advice or responses that I just can't deal with I'm also taking time off Instagram as well for the first few weeks maybe months that's good don't do it I'm actually gonna like give myself

from maternity and be like, see ya. But this is the thing, I think that is such a good thing to do, because I think most of the time the reason why we don't do that, even at Christmas and stuff, I wasn't well, and I had to say the guilt of going back online, I was like, I feel like I'm going back in my tail between my legs. I've missed out on so much and, like, no one's

going to be there anymore. Yeah. But it's you don't miss out in much. That's more for my mental state, I think, scrolling and comparing. I've said this on some of episodes before, but I've saved so many, like, people's morning fucking routines and stuff, and I'm like, maybe I'll I'll refer back to that then when a baby's born.

I'm like, no, I won't. Do it my way. I can't keep sitting there. And I'll waste all this time scrolling on TikTok, Instagram. Because we all waste hours of our life doing stuff like that. And I think if I could just be really strict with myself and be like, right, social media is my job at the end of the day. I'm going to have time off the podcast, time off Instagram. Even if it's just for like four weeks, then that will give me time back that I'll never, you know, that time I'll never ever get back.

Exactly. And instead of constantly thinking, oh, I should upload to flip an Instagram today, what my newborn, how it should. shat in the night or I'm like no one gives a fuck yeah the other thing as well see those videos I remember actually watching someone way back like nine years ago when I had Ella and someone had actually put on their morning routine right and they were like this is what I do in the morning however the way I've filmed it actually took me the entire day to film it right so they're like whereas actually genuinely when I filmed a morning routine with the kids it's like I'm literally just moving the tripod around and it's like so much cutting to do at the end but this person was like

I wanted to make it feel nice to watch but it took me all day to film in the morning routine. So they started literally seven o'clock with their kid and they finished it like three. So when you're watching these things back like it's majorly like take it with a pinch of salt because a lot of the time they're just trying to make it feel and look worth something worth watching.

It's like what do you like aspirational content. So a lot of people that are putting that out are like giving you something this is what you could try and do. It's almost like presenting you with the best case scenario. But people are watching that going oh my god is that how your day goes? Like mine never goes like that Would you have a wee bit of advice on baby stuff

Would you have like not that you You don't want this advice But I'm going to give it to you What is your like one tip Because I'm going to give mine Yeah I'd like this Right not in the first few weeks right But once you're like

You should have loads of tips You've got three of them By the way I don't remember I don't remember having children I'm going to say my honestly right Yeah This is my main thing

Was first of all Edon you can do the night before Like five minutes at night time five minutes the morning two different units of management like that is not the same time I swear to God put all your clothes out

like literally leg in t-shirt shack it right night before try like if I don't know how your baby's going to sleep right but mine would usually wake up at like six I'd set my alarm quarter to six

I'd be a quick shower throw my clothes on see no matter what if I had my clothes on I felt like I was like ready to tackle the day like that right literally 10 minutes just fling yourself on that was my one thing

and then also I remember thinking maybe like three months in if I didn't get out by half ten I couldn't then get back out until like half two because they would then need fed changed sleep so I always tried to get out in the morning if I needed to go anywhere

that was like my two things and I remember putting that online and some of them was like people would come back and go that was like the best advice because it is good advice see being in your jammies for the first few weeks is actually lovely yeah

but see after that you end up you just feel a bit of a bit of slow yeah so and I think that's like mental state thing, isn't it? I would say, see, for the first two weeks have loads of nice loungewear outfits so that you still feel nice. Yeah. Do you know what I would say though, right? So see what I remember is

see when Oliver was first born and I was like, first time didn't have a clue what I was doing, Oliver didn't sleep well at all. I was on all these different Facebook groups where people would give you tips on how to get your kids to sleep through the night and all that. And I remember there was this one girl and your name by the end of it because she would comment on every single post where somebody would say, my child's not sleeping like should I try controlled crying and she would be like please don't try controlled crying with your child this is so unfair it is going against nature it is

basically the biggest guilt trip ever she would comment on every single person right whereas all the other comments would be like oh I tried controlled crying and it was really hard for two days but now it's perfect and like my child sleeps really well and blah blah blah you know eventually after months of her guilt tripping anyone who said that she put on her own post and she was like, guys, I think I'm going to end up getting divorced. I'm really low. My kids don't sleep.

I spend every night holding their hands to get them to sleep. I fall asleep on the floor. I haven't seen my husband for months because we don't cross past because basically your child not sleeping is ruining your life. Yeah. And she's handing that advice out. That's her own fault though. Exactly. And you're just like, see when you're taking.

What the fuck is control crime, please. Oh my God. So this is like when you go to put your baby down and they're kind of like, okay, they'll start and as soon as you leave the room, they scream. Right, and you leave them or not? Well, up to you, but I left mine for like five minutes. I'd go in, quick pat on the back, you're fine,

back down again, out for ten minutes. Same thing, just can I increase the time and see by like the third night you'd put them down, they just knew. It's that cold control crying. It's almost like letting them know, that you're not disappearing for the rest of their life because they've been so used to being next.

This is when they're going to their own bed Honestly They do, they do that for puppies Yeah, exactly same thing You just go in You let them know that you're still here And then eventually And it does work

I'm sorry but I should go in say I'm still here I go in go Shut the fuck up To the dogs Not babies No The dog I actually said it to Nora last night

Shut the fuck up Mabel Oh you told the dogs I was like Is your dog's about Mabel Shut the fuck up Nora she came down last night and she was like Charlie showed me this really scary granny that eats children and I went

mad Charlie there? Oh my God, when did you do that? I went At Nana's house and I went it's not real grannies do not eat children and then she came back down again with like eight stuffed animals and I went for the love of God know that I am not dealing with this

tonight go and she's like oh this is my kids my kids are the biggest dollars ever. They're like, just wanted to give you another hug because I'm not going to see you until the morning. I'm like, oh, okay. Fraser's like that. Just try and watch squid game and pump your maw.

Pump you more. Do you three think you'll ever have any more children? I literally said last month, we're just going to see what happens. Don't see that. We actually, we did have a big in-depth chat last night. Last night, yeah. I thought it was kiboshed. It was, and then I keep swaying. Because I'm like sorry, you can decide if that's going in or not.

This is his last chance saloon. I'm like, I've got a few years. And he's just saying anything so he can actually get his whole. He did say that. He was like, do you know what? Haley. Not even joking. Was he had to snap yet?

No, but we spoke about it. Because this could be a whole violation. No, he, he, um, imagine that. He was on the wait list. Yeah, he went on the wait list because he was like, we were both set on not having anymore. And then we've been speaking about it. because I'm like

this would be the last chance like the age gap right now my youngest is six so I'm like if we're about having more the thing is if I was to have another one I'd probably want another two oh yeah so they have four yeah I agree

because I would like to have the two together why we're sure I'm not the other two but they'll be driving by that point you had Jack and then you had the two girls together so the two girls have got each other and I would always love the idea of having like two boys and then two girls

I've got two boys now I would love to have two girls next obviously you can't pick talking about the SNIP thing I don't know if I'll keep this in or not but remember like there was a situation where one of the family

weren't feeling very well and Andy had messaged in our chat just saying that's old boy all good feeling better it was Andy's dad I didn't want to say that

right it was Andy's dad he's like that's all boy all good all good went well right and I went oh congratulate

like I thought he'd get the SNAP so I was like fucking weird like he's telling us this but that's so boy what did that right back I thought he was referring to his dick

I went oh my god did you get the SNAP congrats and he's like no my dad's out hospital ash but I don't know

I think the SNM was calling he's Willie the old boy they're in and out it's so quickly what would forget to get the

snap they're in and out within like hours oh God sounds horrendous though Like, what do they snip? What part gets snit?

They literally go in with like a pair of long, sharp scissors and they pierce the ball and then they do some kind of weird twisty thing. I thought it went up the hole at the pier. Yeah, so did I. I thought we'd go down the urethra. It's in the, all the tadpoles are in the ball. Yeah, true.

Oh my God, the tadpoles. What happens? Do they just tie a knot? They tie a knot. The ball's not getting huge then? They go black. They go black and then. all off. I'm joking they go black. They go black, yeah. But see what taste goes? Not forever. Just like while they're bruised and stuff and then that's it.

Does stuff still come out after the snip? Yeah, but I think it's not as like, I don't know. It's not as salty. It doesn't taste as good. It doesn't work after that. Is that what we're saying? Also, it's not a hundred percent. It doesn't always work. So it's still a gamble. It's microscopic, isn't it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure one could squeeze its way out. So you might have more kids in? I might, I don't know.

What about you? Oh, I don't know. I kind of think I went through a phase of going like, oh, let's see what happens. And then nothing happened. I tried to talk to us into it, though. Like last week, I was like, Steve, I'm going to do it. Can you just have one more? I don't have any baby friends now.

We were just laughing. You'd be the only one. Maybe I'll join you. It's so funny. Remember we were talking about this, how like, the babies literally would even have their eyes open. They would be like two weeks old. need to have them at baby sensory, it's just you and the other mum's all singing. I've never been that mum, sorry.

I'm not going to be that mum either. No, don't. You don't go to get him better. Just for me, don't breathe. Baby sensory glasses actually give me the fair I say to the time. I can't, I can't picture myself there. Maybe I'll change my mind, but I cannot picture them. Everyone just needs to put their hand up and go,

we just all want to look for new pills. Yeah. It's just mum pals, that's where we're all looking for. We're not looking to show a rattle in our baby's faces. We have them at home. I get major sensory overload. I'd be chaos in there. I'd hate it.

That wouldn't be good for you. I'd be like, fucking get me out of here. Oh, the lights and all that? No, it's too much. It's way too much. It's exciting times for you. Buzzing. Do you know what you're having?

Anyone that doesn't actually know, that's your listener. How many weeks am I? 36 weeks pregnant. But wait, do you know what you're having? No. Not a clue. A surprise. I know.

That's when I had Markers' baby 36 weeks. Ely, shut the fuck up! Another baby shower this begins. You feel fully done. Like, when are you 37 weeks in? So when this comes out, the Sunday. So that's like full term, isn't it? Yeah.

Oh my God. I know. That is exciting. You cannot have that child on this. Can I just say, we fucking love the labour. Yes, I was going to ask you this now. I'd like to know. Collectively is a good.

Jay is I'm actually jealous that you're going. Really? Really? Let's start this conversation right where I've also said on the pod that I think we cut it out last week actually but I was just basically saying that I've had to take myself away a little bit off TikTok because I'm searching for positive birth stories to try and keep my mindset right to go into this next few weeks but I'm finding and almost searching for the negative comments which is just toxic to my own self so I'm looking at it thinking.

Yeah exactly saying toxic and I'm like right this can't be happening. so I just feel like I need to hear your birth story and whether it's negative or positive or whatever just tell me I've actually vlog my by the way you can go and watch it is crunch the brows are questionable however you've vlogged it yeah I've blocked the whole thing oh you should vlog yours I don't even if you don't want to put it out what do you mean vlog like my birth

or you mean my birth no I literally went like in the morning I was like it's four in the morning I've got contractions I think I'm having my baby today like I've got a good feeling I'll get like a sweep two days ago I think I'm going into labour And then this was two days after my due date. And then literally it was like a few hours later I was on the ball. I was like, I've just phoned them. They said I can go in but just try and hold off as long as possible.

And then it was like seven in the morning by the time I got in. And then I had them at half nine. I think we left mine at seven. I had them by half nine. So it was quite amazing. What was it like? Amazing. Like actually amazing.

The contraction, the pushing bit's not sore. Like you can, you'll handle it. I think the contractions are slower than the actual pushing. Yeah, I've heard that. The pushing feels like a relief. Yeah. It feels like a big poo. there's say but it's like it's out with your control the contractions

like you kind of go I think that's the worst part is the fact you go oh I didn't know that was happening but the pushing bits of the relief honestly so you know something I learned as well being into this journey when people say I was in labour for 30 hours I thought they're in like severe pain for 30 hours but you're not all you it's like waves no your actual delivery time is like so much shorter like really is truly interesting by the way see if you're in depth of all of our birth stories it's on episode one I've got a lisp and we speak really slow but it's actually probably quite...

Episode one. I think it is episode one, isn't it? Oh, if girls who've heard or... Yeah, of the good motherhood. Whenever you're going... It's three individual ones. Oh, we did. Whenever you're going in,

yeah. Whenever you're going in, try and avoid the speed bumps. Because that was the worst part for me. Do you know what Matt, see what we were saying about advice news we were saying about, stop looking at stuff. Go in so naive that you know nothing.

Oh, Lauren. You remember the one bit we always said, the brick wall. Remember there's a bit that they say, the pain of your contractions get so much that you go, I don't think I can take another bit I don't think I can take another bit of this. Isn't that when it's like it's coming?

And you go, oh my God, and then eventually you get to a point where the pain threshold of your body, literally the decibels of pain goes to whatever it is and that's when your adrenaline kicks in. So see if you allow yourself to experience the pain, your own agenalin kicks in and it's really weird.

It was a midwife that told me that. She was like, you'll get to a point where you go, this is like, I can't control this and it's like unbearable. And then just hits. they obviously like peak and then drops see when it gets that peak see that drops even though that's still like a contraction feel good in that moment it's such a good feeling yeah yeah such a good feeling and did you have an epidural did you nothing like that gas and air gas in air for

my last two i had an epidural with my first and why was that just because you because i was what fucking 19 yeah i was scared a baby i know my mom always says that the first time like you had jack she walked out of the room the night before because you were getting induced, remember? Poor crying, I was it, she's like, she just looks so young. I mean, she's sitting in that bed and she's just looked, I've never seen her look younger. She just looks like a wee girl, and I just wish I could go

and swap places with her, and I was actually getting tearful thinking of that, because it's actually, like, not that far away from the ages our kids are now. Yeah, it's like, that's Ella in nine years. Like, see, actually thinking about that. Five years for Jack. For eyes, my brain. What the fuck. I do you know what I mean, though? Yeah, that is weird about the way.

If you were looking at a 19-year-old now, I would be in my element if you became a grand in the next few years after. I wouldn't be a gran I would like to be called glamour. Glamma. Also, why is that the, is that a Kevin Bridges thing? And it's like they're all going to the granny's 40th. They're all put into the same tracks.

No, definitely. Go a naive. Stop looking things up, honestly. Really? I think you should vlog it. Even if you don't put it out, video it's so that you can look back because it'll be cool nice. And get me to look at it.

but actually look over. Coming out. Yeah, I think you will. Yeah. My God, guys, I'm nervous. Don't know, no, no, honestly. I would be so excited that you actually can't wait for it. This is nice, positive chat, I like it.

Excitement and nerves are the same feeling, whether you're happy or sad in your head. Yeah, that's the feeling of like when you've just had the baby and everyone's kind of gone and it's just you. Oh my God, you're going to get the tea in the toast. Yeah. What is this 10 toast? Oh, don't need to take myself some butter on your...

It's sunblets. Fuck your spicy chicken, your meatballs, anything like that. Just Jess, nothing? Yeah, fuck that. Just Jess, you get nothing on this. Fuck just Jess, just get tea and toast. It is, it's like crack. It says, it's the shit is bread.

The shit is butter. I'm not even sure it's milk. It's a little U.H.T. It will be. It is just, it's like the life nectar. Do you think that's because we're all off our tits and gas in there? It's a bit like munchy? No, it is.

It's something. I think it might be. And see if you really compliment them. one of them sometimes they'll bring you a wee second round. And if Rich gets hungry, tell him we have a wee bit of banter with him and he'll maybe get a wee round of them. Oh, he'll have them all week at the knees. I know he will. Yeah. That was Fraser.

They were all like, oh, are we okay, Dad? They'll call you mum. And they'll call him Dad. Oh, yeah. That's what I do. Ow! Wow, baby! Yeah, they'll call him dad. And they'll call him. She doesn't like Daddy chat. You'll be sleeping in the morning and they'll come in and go, hi, mum. I've just popped just some toast at the end of your bed. They call you, mum. Mum. Like you're there

The nurses, they'll do that. They'll be like, who, me? And I did, yeah, hi, mum. Where's my mom? I told you not to come here for two weeks, you bitch. Your fucking bags outside. Nightmen! Yeah, they'll call you, mum, and they'll call him dad.

Fraser felt, I remember I was it Charlie's. I think because it was such a rush getting in there, he was a bit kind of ho. And then I was, I don't know what happened. I can't remember what happened, but he went a wee bit like lightheaded. I don't know why, right? It's a bit, I'm doing, fuck all. You're doing nothing, right?

But I think cause, like, it's a weird thing for them. to watch you go through it. Like, it's quite unnerving for them. So anyway, he looked and he was like, right, and he went in the bathroom, they splashed water in his face. He was like, having a chat to yourself, slap me his face. Get a grip.

Come on. And he went back out and he was like, oh, I feel a bit weird. And the nurses all fled round to him. They were all round them going, are you okay, Dad, are you okay? She's literally smashing under that brick wall. Just put your head between your knees,

a wee minute, dad. I was like, oh, fucking mad. I'd be fucking mad. I know, I was so jealous. What the fuck are you doing? And you know, obviously, you have the baby, right? Is it true that the dad, when they witness the birth, they feel completely different towards you for maybe a short period of time? You're a queen in the sense of

in a good way, an amazing way. They admit it, like, he will be so proud of you. Yeah, they look at you like, how the fuck did you just do that? Because at the moment, I feel like he has no idea, fair enough, what the fuck's going on. Yeah. It doesn't feel real to him, it won't feel real to him until he's got a baby in his arms and I'm like, mate, I'm preparing myself, I know what's coming. life is going to change like that. I think that's the best way to be. Yeah, well, I just think, will he then look at me and be like, oh my God, I get it what you've been going through for the next time once?

Yeah, 100%. 100%. Because they can't do anything than out. I know. And it's different feeling it like out with your stomach than feeling it inside as well. Like it's... We were saying it's a bit like being a surrogate. How they must feel when you hand it a baby.

Yeah, they're not going to do with it right now, really. My God. Who's that? Is it? What do I do? It's so strange. Oh my God, amazing. It's funny because it'll change the way that you talk on your pod as well

because you'll have different chat now, which keeps it fresh, interesting. I know, but then I need to try and... It's hard though, isn't it? When your whole life, especially in this third trimester, your whole life is consumed by what's going on. There's nothing... When I come on every week, it's always like,

what's been a lot on you play? I'm like, well, there's nothing else I can really talk to you about about sort of motherhood stuff because that's what I'm heavily experiencing right now. Yeah, of course it is. That's why it's so unfair when they say people like, oh, you've just had a baby. And now all they talk about is baby life. It's your whole life.

You've made it your whole personalities, like a thing that people say. But it is your whole life. See when you just have a baby, it literally is. It consumes you. It consumed you at 24 hours a day. So it makes sense. Especially if you don't have a lot of support. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd love a night, nanny. Oh, my God. Oh, 100%. Do you know, see what I had. Fuck that. Are that you maternal at all? Couldn't be less maternal.

So are you worried about when the baby comes? comes that she's going to make you hold them. You get to be the cool, aren't you? No, she's... No, I can be okay. I can hold. Yeah. I can hold and I would change a napi if you needed.

I've never changed a napi. Ever? No. I'm the least maternal person here. If it's a boy, make sure you get the pads of paper ready for the wee linky. As soon as you open it, it's fresh air. You don't know. If it is a boy, that is the case.

Because I did get pissed all over. Do I have a feeling? Three waves. I think it's a girl, but I feel like I'm a boy mum. Yeah, that's what I think about you too I thought you'd say you don't know They actually kicking me right now Like, shut up bitch

I thought you were I thought I'd seen it that you were having a boy Really? Like I said We're having a boy That's why I was asking earlier Did you find out what you were having? Weirdy

But now that I see you I'm like that looks a bit like a girl bump A lot of people are saying that It looks like a girl bump Yeah I think it looks like a girl bump It was pineapple Anything fruity, sweet. Yes, that was my girl.

She's maleficent. I had a sweet tooth before but not in the mornings and now I'm like, I love it. Pineapple. That's really good though, I suppose. Also, pineapple is what you want to have loads of before you go into it. I had tons of it.

Tons of it drank the juice and I swear to God this is disgusting. So brace yourself, guys. It makes your cervix super like juicy. How did you know? that? Because they told me. They're like, you've got some juice of civics in there.

She checked it before. No, Lauren had to give praise that I feel like what would you even call that? Pep Talk on the phone. I was basically like that like let's fucking do this. We're riding until this baby comes out because I need...

But shagging. Yes. It's one of the best ways to get it moving. Yeah, you have something to do with how like the sperm is meant to like... It's off as you're sparm, isn't it? Yeah, but also it's meant to like, was it prostate glandans?

Is that the right word? the hormones in the tadpoles. I think it's also... Stimulates the cervix. I think it's also if they manage to make you come as well, it does something that... What do you manage to? Love it. I know it every time thing.

What if fuck those are? Why is it always me? So, I don't go into detail to defend myself. So she throws it out. I don't even think she's kissed Andy. So here's the thing. This is what you meant to but I remember. We were good

because I couldn't get on for a sweep, right? I was like, I can't be that hard. They literally just, they just poke you. They're that vigorously finger you? Yeah. But I was like, pray. Right, and Fraser was clean the car. You not had any.

And I shouted on him and I was like, Fraser. I was like, come here. I went, go to my favour. Like, you just literally, you just poke. That's it. But this huge big glove on right up to your elbow and go for it. But here's the thing.

He then went and got a fucking rubber glove. And I was like, right. We don't normally do this. What is going on? This is fucking weird. So anyway, I was like, Like, right, do that, whatever, that was fine. And, um, but I, like, you need to, like, literally touch the cervix.

How the fuck? Touch the cervix. Do you know what the worst thing is? So, if I was to do that to somebody, I don't know what cervix is. I know, but you have, you have the bits. No, different bits. It's the opening the very top, basically the top of the roof. It opens.

How far, is that? What roof opens, though? It's as far up as you can go. Far up so you can ever go. And then, so here's the thing. I feel like I've got a bit of a shallow pit. Oh, shallow pits. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Why is that? That's a DIYie. Shallow pit should be as embarrassing as my penis, but it's not. It feels like a flex. Do you know what I mean? I've got a pure tiny, fanny.

That's so funny. She might not for long. She might get a burden. That's hilarious. Maybe Richard's just got a massive cop. Yeah, exactly. We. We?

I love that. Maybe we have. But yeah, I remember I was like that, Lauren, I phoned her and I was like, do you know he'll not pump me? Like he says, it's just. weird now because I'm basically just using it for the sperm thing and she was like

put him on. Loram's like Braser, get it pumped and old brother-in-law, I know it's weird conversation. She doesn't have to start riding him so yeah. Yeah. Did you have sex quite a lot when pregnant or not? Yeah. What? You get so horny. No! No, that's not happened for me.

Really? No. Yeah, really. Is that that a sign of having a girl? I was... Boy, I used to leave college to go need this at the flat. Are you joking? Yeah. No, my pal palmed by me a vibrator

When I was in college my birthday? What kind of, Lauren? What kind of, what kind of vibrator? It was a big corn in the cup. Oh, that feels like a joke person. If she loved you, if the joke was on them. No. They went on my bed.

They got to get you the joke present and she went home early. Aye. I'm not hony at all. If she loves you, she would have on your Lelo, not a fucking corn in the car. Yeah, I think you get at a certain stage when it's all ribbed. It's not that I don't want to do it. It's just I'm sore and I'm like, how is that nice for him. man I'm like oh one minute

just laying over like that and hop on and he always be thinking well he loves it oh he loves it but oh just not sure maybe I'll do it tonight yeah that's all get you ready don't plan it they plan it it's never

work out yeah they don't do now well honey it's a Thursday and you know what that means nine o'clock it's go time what about after after um I find give it

leave it like a long time you're not. Yeah. You know, remember the girl who went viral because she was like, I've never felt more in love after having a baby. They'd done it in the bed after. Yeah, I've seen that. I don't even think at that point it's closed up. No, I know. No, you're not like too.

And everyone was like, what is wrong with you? Why did you do that? And she was like, no, I really wanted to. Like, we were so in love. How soon after can you actually do it, though? I don't know what the rule is. You're bleeding for three. Not like six weeks. If you're not a fan of that, you need to wait. They basically get like a sex week period after it. Oh my goodness.

Listen, I'm not sure I've used my vibrator often. And I've heard that that's really good to use for like perineal massaging. Oh yeah, yeah. That's it. I'm not playing. I am having a perineal massage right now. This is for the baby. He walks in and I'm like, do, do, do, do what you're doing?

I'm like, I'm literally just vigorously. I am stretching, okay? I'm just paying for a labour. You don't even need to do any of this. selfish. What's hard work I'm having to do? Yeah, maybe it'll kick in soon. That's so funny. Do you get quite a lot of embarrassing

stories in the pod that are like sex-related? What's the ones that said to you? What, a sex-related dilemma? Garlic trotters is quite a stick-out-old. What's garlic troders? Someone was cooking and dropped garlic on the floor but didn't realize it had touched her feet, their bare feet.

And then when we went to have sex, the guy was stuck in their toes and like have you been cooking garlic? No, it... Was it not? Couldn't you smell the garlic on his breath or something? No, it was him was sucking the garlic toes and he was like, what the fuck? Why don't your toe smell of garlic? And the boldy toe one, that cracked me up.

What was that again? Well, we're sucking her toe again, but her toenhead fell off like the week before. And he went down and he was like, just sucking this baldy toe. That says a lot about your demographic that you have multiple toll sucker stories. We've got a lot of who stories. Yeah. I don't know we've got a lot of sick on dick. I've got one that sticks out actually

and it's literally because I've looked at the curtains right so someone quite recently had, I don't know if she confirmed it was doggy right but I think it was and they done it in her apartment with the curtains shut and then the next day they got a letter from their neighbour saying hi basically telling her that she'd put on

an X rated puppet show the night before we had that light had shone on them we had the same story yep how we don't know as often this happens by the day We must definitely have the same listeners. Yeah. You know, we don't be quite nice now for us to the own chat about some of our stories

in this week's episodes, but like we'll do it on your side dish. Yeah. And we'll do it on our confession sessions. Yeah. So if you want to go and get that, you can go and click below and get both of them on the respective platforms and then follow each other. This has been so fun. I love it.

We should do this again when you've... When we've popped one out. I know. We'll be sure it's two weeks after, though. Yeah. Don't you deck on my boundaries. We know the boundaries. We know the boundaries.

Help me. Well, I hope you enjoyed that guys and definitely give the garries a little listen if you don't know them already, I'm sure you do. Those girls have heard. And you guys are a lot on your plate? A lot on your plate. A lot on your plate pods. A lot on your plate pod on Instagram, yeah. Oh my God, how fun would it be if we did like an event together? We should.

It's a big, massive one. Don't tell. That could be a hint or could not be a hint, who knows. And it's literally just coming my head then now. A lot of girls on your way. I feel like we've got about motherhood there. Zeri's just like, we've said to her that she's going to be an absolute expert when the day ever comes for her. Oh, yeah.

Expert level 90. A step. I can't say that. Brought it on, to be honest. I'm still not maternal. It's a followers over on Patreon where you can find confession sessions and what's ours called?

Side dish. Side dish. And we talk a lot about dilemmas and I'm guessing you girls talk about confessions. Yeah, funny stories. We'll meet you over there. See you later. Bye, guys.

Bye. Thank you.