A Lot On Your Plate - S6 Ep29: Work Affairs, Sneaky Links & Ghosting

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

Hey piggies 🐷💖 This week we've got some juicyyyy listener stories - from an office fling that turned serious, to long-distance sexting, friends stuck in bad relationships and sneaky links 👀We’re also catching up on all the latest openings in Glasgow, Edinburgh & Manchester - from dinner spots to new shops and bakeries.Don't forget, you can sign up to Patreon for an extra episode every week plus bonus vlog-style content, competitions, group chat, early access to tickets and looooads more! See you there piggies 💖👉 patreon.com/ALotOnYourPlate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Tuesday, Pod Piggy Happy Tuesday We're on another day, another Slay, Santa's Slay It's Christmas time It's time D-Din-Din-N-N-din-din-din-din-din-din-d-d- What date is it today? This pod comes out 11th of November.

Space-ly Christmas. It's Christmas Eve. 11th of November. Remember it's Day. Why we're not wearing our poppy? I'm wearing red. You are wearing red? Yeah.

Love it. We well get a poppy, though. So, on today's lovely little episode, we've got a few updates, but we've decided to do our, what we've been up to over on side dish this week. And we've both kind of been vlogging as well for the monthly special over on side dish, so we don't really want to keep repeating ourselves. So if you want to see what we're going up to, we can actually see it. Boring.

People are going to show it. Boring. Boring. But also, we've got to keep it. so much good stuff to talk about because you guys have been delivering so well with your dilemmas, your sexting, your office scandals, what's been a lot on your plates, things that you just want to ask us or tell us, and some updates from previous episodes. You've all been busy, busy, busy, busy. Busy bitches. And before we go into that, we want

to say, thank you for selling us out of our Christmas market in a matter of minutes. Thank you. It was... You, you, you. You. So good, actually, we are very, very happy with ourselves because it's going to be so good. Happy girls. But what we're going to tell you right now is our sponsors, Watermans, are giving away four tickets, two for each night.

Yeah. So if you missed out, go over to Waterman's Instagram and enter the giveaway there. Yep. There you go. That is your last chance in, guys. Their Instagram handles Waterman's official. So that's all you've got to do.

Go over there. Tag a friend who you want to take. Exactly There's two winners And if you are over on Patreon as well We are also giving away two tickets For a night of your choice So that's another way in

What's important to mention here is We don't actually have like six tickets spare We're just going over the capacity Because we're gnarry So Let's fucking go for it You've got a few little updates You want to tell us first

We're going to? A few things, right? One being mint hot chocolates back at Costa coffee. Delicious. Do you get the little mint chocolate with it as well? Budget cuts, I think. Oh, didn't it used to be an after-eight mint? Correct.

But the reason I'm telling you this is that I don't think the mint one was there last year. Wasn't it orange? Territic chocolate orange. That's still there this year. And the Blackberry or something like that? Forest. Black Forest, yeah. So I had one of them last night.

I went to the fort with my sister and it was delicious. I just love this time of year I think October and November is my favourite time of year December is good but I do think it is a little bit chaotic after Black Friday the shops just get mental

everyone gets a little bit stressed you've got all the pressures of fitting everyone in the social calendars it is a bit much but I think October and November is pure cosy season where you can really actually

get into the festive spirit I think I agree so if you don't know that go get one of them what else forgot to tell you oh did you see the Anthropologies She's opening on the 16th of November, I think. That's a good date before Christmas.

Princess Square. And Mezcal's opening at the fort. I saw that, you know. I think that's a good addition to the fort. It is. I just think, see when you're nipping up there and you are like, I'm about hungry. Where are you going?

Wagamamas, for me personally. No, I know same, but... Where is it going to be at the fort? Do you know? Not sure, actually. I actually walked by there yesterday because I went to Homemade which is also just opened as well

near Akiko so homemade by Caitlin it's in the West End it's also opened right near Akiko and Central Station but it's bang next door to Mezcal

when I walked by there I thought oh I remember I did a taco collaboration with them years ago I did my my charred corn and

that's a throwback in it yeah like battered prawn tacos it was well good with a frozen marguerite remember we all went with me you jelly

and that it was a really good night wow yeah so opening it Before. And then you went to Dishuim and had breakfast? I haven't had that in a good few years, I would say. But I would still say like it's amazing before I'd actually had it again, if you know what I mean?

Yeah. And it was, it was so good. And I said, can I have no coriander please, sir? And I didn't get coriander and it was just brilliant. Amazing. I had the sausage and egg one. Wow. And my friend Lindsay had the bacon and egg. The breakfast nan. Yeah, breakfast nan. And then we shared them beans, something beans, masala beans. Delicious. I don't know if that's the name of them. So good.

The breakfast menu is actually quite long. I was stood outside the other day because we were going to go in, but it stopped selling breakfast like 15 minutes after we were there. And, yeah, look, a really good breakfast menu. It was quite busy on the end as well, which I like to see. Busy. Because sometimes I think Glasgow wants these places and then they come and no one goes, if you know what I mean.

That's so true. But no, it was pretty packed. Sticks and sushi is opening soon as well in George Square. That would be very, very soon. I think that's in a matter of days. And I saw that the old hag, weirdly, that I'd mentioned in last week's episode, the Scottish place in London is doing a takeover

in Stockbridge in Edinburgh for one month that's cool and they are partnering with tenants beer doing a square sausage curry worst the first ever it's cool

that is cool by the way and I also saw I feel like we're doing a little bit of a segment of new places here Lenan Bakery right they have opened

I think next door like a pantry it looks so chic sleek and delicious this is a time of year that I need the member to go to Edinburgh yes

Like I don't really, we'd get her to take head and any other time, but it's a good time of you to go. Anything else I've been in Edinburgh recently that we can think of? I couldn't you tell you? I'm just not an Edinburgh. No, but I do see, I follow a lot of people from Edinburgh, and I like to be in the know, that sort of stuff. But I know we've got a lot of Edinburgh listeners.

But yeah, really cool, really delicious and love it. Do you know what else I've heard as well? If you're down in Manchester, I've heard that Louie, the restaurant that I've definitely mentioned before when we've done our opening segments, it's the one where you can, a bit like Trocadero's, where you can go and sit and have like a jazz band and it's quite hard to get into.

Apparently their Sunday roast is excellent. Right, okay. Yep, so I want to go to there. And there's a couple of restaurants that are really high on my list, one called Stow, Stowe. And there's one near Hyde Way, which is near Ashton where Richard's from,

past a place that I really want to go to as well. But I will share it on the newsletter, my Manchester map, so you can see everywhere I've pinned. Perfect. Manchester's not that far. It's a great night out. So her house is uprope in Manchester as well now.

Manchester has just fun vibes in it, fun energy. It's quite like happy cool. It is cool. I've seen a lot of TikToks recently of people saying like Glasgow Nightlife is really, really bad and where can you go if you're like a mid-20s to the 30s? I know we've spoke about this, loads on the podcast and gave you a huge list.

But it is true. Like it's hard to mingle or know where to go. Well, I still don't know where to go. But then people are saying like you can go to Manchester and you always have a really good time. Yeah. I think we just don't have the. busyness that these places have so it's not the same in the sense of oh you can go anywhere

it'll be busy enough it's not always like that here yeah so you don't you can't really rely on it just being busy enough to bring the vibes you kind of need the actual place to also bring it to do you know what I mean last thing to say wicked tickets come out right I hope you all got your wicked tickets because I've got mine so on the 20th I'll see the doubler so you've got wicked and then you've got Wicked for good straight after it I'm fine with that and how long is that

six hours probably what I do need you know though is I would get in a wee like 15 minute break in between because like I'll need over to a supermarket and go and get all your snacks well I need more snacks

and I need a toilet but then I'm not panicking because I can go to the toilet during the first one I've watched it so many times like it's fine and then I'm going again on the Friday

to see it again I remember having to go to the toilet in the first one because it's so long and it's devastated they need to have just a five minute break for people to do that

or even just 10 but all the toilets would then mean more that's what I thought I know it is a difficult one because actually the thing that I like

snacking on the most at the cinema which is weird is just a big juice yeah but obviously it makes you pee but can't they come round and sell that to you

like have someone at the bottom like they used to with the big tray that's hanging off their body I know if you just decide you want another reason I know. I can.

Because I kind of go and I'm not a popcorn eater. So I'm quite limited. I'm not going to get, no, I don't like popcorn really. So I wouldn't buy it, never. So I'm quite limited. It's like you get a pick a mix, but you're only putting a few wee shovels in, do you know what I mean?

Picky mix, Zoe, I'm so shocked that you eat that. I know because it's the hygiene. Yeah. No, I know. That shit is riddled. But you know, when I would never eat it though in a shop. You know, like being eggs. Like Morrisons?

Yeah, like Morrisons or like B&M's in like corner shops. Maybe have a pick of mix, never in there. But I feel the cinema's a bit more like you're not just letting your kids do it in the cinema. Like you're in and out in the cinema. You're in for a reason. They're not just doing that whilst you're giving a shot them in. Well, cinema that I go to, they, well, you go to the same one, but like they have M&M machines and you can just pop them in your popcorn. Or I open a bag of Maltese's or minstrels, pop them in my sweet and salty popcorn.

Oh, but I also find in that. cinema the pick and mix station is like duplicate so i just go for the high ones yeah where the little kids are like rumbling the little fingers in but i'm totally on board of what you're saying yeah i'm shocked by that the girl that wipes the plain trays i know and won't drink a bottle of water the next day i might make my own pick a mix now actually and take it with me put me off by the way that would taste so much better as well those pick and mixes actually don't even taste that good to be fair there's only like two or three that i actually really want i just fill up with other stuff, like to give me a mixture.

I do love a strawberry. Strob, like a big straw. Yeah, or sour cherry. Yum. I love a sour cherry. Do you know, I took a picture of this dimension, by the way, and Silverburn. Did you see it? No.

The big harribal shop. No? There's now, like, a harribal shop. Okay. A horrible shop's quite cool, like for the kids and that. Like, a few really interactive bits, but I went to wander. And, you know, they make boxes of just the strawberries, say. Yeah.

And you can buy the big straws and stuff. The only thing they don't have separate is the fuzzy cherries. You know the ones you get in Tang Fasics? Yeah, why is that? I don't know. I'm fuming because I love them. I love them. That's all I want from tan fastics.

It's a fuzzy cherries. Do you know, talking of Harry Bowen, it's reminding me of, like, jelly cat, right? Did you see on Alicia's story that Jellycat have now bought out as Selfridge's jellycat? That is such an amazing gift for someone that just is an adult. I know a lot of adults love jelly cats. You can imagine that and people, you know, like the wardrobes that are all set in. and they've got all their bags sitting and then you get a wee jelly cat. It's basically, if you've not seen it, it's a yellow iconic Selfage's bag,

but it's got the little legs dangling from it in arms. The bag's basically the body of the little jellycat. Cute's tits. I do think these things, like, yeah, I mean, loboobos are different. Jelly cats, to me, are a cute we add on to, like, your pal's gift. If it's something they really, really like, say there is a pig one, like that'd be cute if someone want me that. Because they'll have pigs, you know what I mean?

Whereas, like, other ones, I'm like, it's just... And they also feel so nice. I went into the one in Trafford Centre with Rich. There's a jellycat within it. And in Selfage's, sorry. And it was the cues, it was mobbed. So weird, I know. Yeah.

But they were so soft. And OK priced. Let's get into it, shall we? Regarding this week's podcast, my placenta was definitely just thrown in the bin. They were meant to check if the baby was racist negative. And they forgot. Sorry if I've pronounced it.

that wrong um when i reminded them to check they had to pull it out all the bin bags until they found my placenta laid the placenta on the floor and tried to draw blood from it oh my god but it had dried my husband managed to manage to manage the full birth without passing out but that absolutely made him by the way no that's man and my friend also mentioned me like just to let you know that they get um incinerated your tits and my placenta well what does that i hate my placenta but well burnt but I don't believe it proof please send me proof you're like a video over the process

you can tell me that what you want but send me proof someone also meshes saying the post op pumps are a real thing they literally use air and surgery to create space open the tissues and see what they're doing whilst creating the pocket so you're full of air right explains a lot but isn't that more you though

versus me because all they did was slice me open and pull a child out for you. They maybe still do put air in to give them to create almost like a bubble effect

to be easier to get the child out potentially but they also said clinical waste and NHS it's not that deep so everything just goes to waste obviously

prove it go on then prove it yeah you can tell us this all you want but we don't believe you we obviously know that this is what they're telling you

prove it send me a little video on your shift we don't fucking believe you right? Just kidding. That's lulls. Just kidding!

Right, another Christmas party, office relationship, drama slash situation. Love it. Was listening to your pod on workplace relationships slash office Christmas parties. When I started at my current workplace,

me and a guy had good friendly banter slash flirtatious banter but never went any further as he was in a long-term relationship. I knew from speaking to others in the office he wasn't happy, but still not somewhere I was willing to go. good egg.

Qa work night out, far too many tequila shots and we're the last two left out which ended with several very drunken kisses after he walked me to the bus station. The next morning rolls around and I have the worst hangover known to man and the anxiety was real. Went into the office on Monday morning and did everything

in my power to avoid him. I was a new girl and didn't want to muck up any working relationships and I really love my job. Cut a long story short he asked to meet me in a meeting room in front of others so I really couldn't say no. He then tells me he's liked me for ages and is ending things with his girlfriend

which he did that very day fast forward seven years we're now married with a wee girl and both still work in the same office so things can work out. Oh that's lovely when you know you know that is when and we spoke about it sorry to the other girl

exactly what I'm going to say like yes he has a girlfriend and it's not nice but sometimes you do just catch someone at a time where they're already unhappy they were all ready going to leave and it kind of seems like you've made it happen or other people would say well they left her for her

but it's not always necessarily that though do you know what I mean? I know it's still shit for everyone involved but that just shows you that maybe as just you were with the wrong person yeah fucking love that for you hen and I can guarantee you now

the other girl is also probably very happy as well because you obviously weren't yeah exactly like in it the same or maybe she also felt the same you never know Yeah. Right, this is such a good one, guys.

I want to know if anybody else has been in this situation. I started talking to this guy online who lives in Long Island. We'd speak daily for years and built up such a connection and it felt really real. We'd share fantasies with each other and sex and have the seemiest phone sex too. He loved my Scottish accent. Ha! I'd be up all night talking to him about all the kinky things we do when we finally met. Oh, right.

Okay. But we really cared about each other. And at times it felt like one day somehow we'd meet in person and make it work together. Fast forward to today. I'm 30 with a husband and a little boy who's eight months and so happy. He's also married with a little boy. We sadly never met and we drifted. We grew up.

We still have each other on social media and support each other quietly from afar. Oh my goodness. We text maybe once every six months to check in and say hi. I've never told anybody in my life about this. or him so strange how someone can be a big part of your life having never met them keep me in on if you decide to feed this out so they're actually still connected about them yeah they must have got each other on Facebook or I'm guessing Facebook if it's all those years ago but then what are you thinking about them chatting every so often fine oh I don't know

I'm the wrong person to ask that do you know what I mean though no I know what you mean is or I don't know it's because you kind of met them before but it's unfinished business and it was sexual sexual very sexual by the sounds of things you were young it's like a it's almost a bit like a fantasy when you're that young

but then I also feel like at that age and because it was almost like pen pal I feel like people who've had pen pals or like done that sort of met someone abroad study or whatever it might be I feel there's like a really deep connection there yeah do you know what I mean

so then I'm like maybe it is okay It's giving film. Yeah, if you're both being appropriate, then it's fine. Yeah. Somebody wrote on tours on Patreon chat like, girls, you're way too chill on the whole X with photos thing. It's not a fucking chance. No, I know.

I do think it's so easy to say how you would be, though, when you're not in the situation. That is something I will caveat everything with. Yes. Like, if that ever happens to me, I'll let you know how I actually react. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's hard to say what you would be like.

It's all willing to sit in there saying, yeah, it would be sad. We'd probably be like, yeah. That's a fuck. No, I know. Office scandal for you girls, please be anonymous. My ex-how met at work. Didn't know he was married. He lived in Glasgow and I didn't.

He was here for work a lot and I was there for work quite often too. Found out he was married but swore they lived separate lives from the same house for the sake of the kids. We had holidays together, etc. Which made me convince myself that it was genuine. One year in and I'm accepting a relocation from work and looking at houses for us to get together. After me told that I had to come there so he could keep the relationship with his kids. then all of a sudden he turns cold no explanation other than he stressed with work

I was gaslit to hell by this man I came down on a work trip and we caught up after him implying that he may not want to see me so I knew exactly where this was heading decision made a few hours together I knew it was over neither of us said it I got out of his car and had blocked

hadn't blocked by the time I got into my hotel I was heartbroken fast forward five six months and I'd healed just met the man for me but was constantly very ill covered in a rash exhausted and picking up every illness going my immune system was in the gutter it took my doctor's ages to figure out what it was

it was syphilis my god sorry the married man was cheating on his wife with me and managed to give me syphilis it was in my brain and making me really ill what I got treated my new partner also needed treated

he was the sweetest guy ever I had no idea how anyone would react to being told they'd been exposed to a serious STI The NHS took over the notification to my ex and I made sure they knew he was married so that they couldn't get away with not telling his wife to get treated so that's my experience with office romance 0 out of 10 would not recommend

syphilis Yeah that's dead serious by the way And her brain I've never heard of that What the flying fuck? No I'd kill You'd be dead You'd be dead You'd be dead

That's shocking This is the thing we're cheating by the way right like we forget STIs are a thing sometimes I feel as we're older yeah like you can't just shag about and not expect something like that to come of it eventually especially if you're shagging a good few folk yeah that's absolutely bang out of order by the way

that's a shame that I'm really sorry right love the pod girls I just discovered you recently and I am hooked thank you thank you very much right so a few years ago at an old job I no longer work there we had a staff Christmas night out

husband and wife, we'll call them Mark and Diane. A lot of fake names. Both worked in the same department of the company. We had all been out for a meal and pubs and then went back to one of the guy's houses for afters that also worked in their department. We will call him Ben. Oh, hi Ben. Welcome. Welcome to the chat then. Mark, the husband, went home as it was getting late in the night, but his wife Diane stayed out.

A bit later at this point, in the night, everyone was a bit worse for where. then Diane and Ben started kissing. Oh, right. Oh. Everyone was uncomfortable and didn't know what to do as she was married to Mark who had been there not long before. Fucking hell.

Diane then got upset not long after I'd admitted to everyone that her and Ben had been having an affair behind Marks back for months. Oh my God. It made for a very awkward Monday back at work as everyone knew what had happened but didn't know what to say to Mark. I can't remember exactly what happened

as it was a while back but he eventually found out and they'd split up Ben and Diane have been together ever since and seem to be happy but I do feel for Mark

though Oh my God Per Mark Wow That's a bit of No that is a shame because that's happened to on front of all of his colleagues

And they both worked in the same department as well And he's just left the house And then they've started to kissing Oh my God I wonder how that started at work by the way Like how under the same roof Where are you shit as the other man?

Are you actually doing him dirty like that? The man to man I'm talking about here. I also just feel sorry for him as well because she's probably thought, thank fuck he's away. I know, that's this. So I can now get with my man Ben. Do you know what I mean?

But we have just said previously to the other dilemma when you know, you know. I think it's just more that you shouldn't be taking any action until you're both not in a situation. At a Christmas party in front of it, all of your colleagues as well, that's tight. Anyway You know it wasn't he tight

Or fucking funny Fucking too tight And bastard Anyway Sorry No That's not acceptable Right Alice

Oh no we've read Alice Right I don't hang in at you cut that out Actually Sorry Sorry Right let's go into some dilemmas now then shall we I've got a good one here for you Zos

Go for it I reckon a lot of people will be able to relate to this that listen to the pod My good friend is in a relationship And for the last year and a half Since they've been together, it's just been constant problems We'll get drunk and she'll say She's not sure she wants to be with him

And that's forgotten the next day He's terrible at communicating And has her constantly upset And he just doesn't make an effort Never mind the fact He's actually the most boring guy I've ever met in my life I've tried with the guy

But now as time goes on I'm just feeling like I'm not really interested And spending time with him I'll speak to her For days about an issue They are having Because I want to support her

But I'm really struggling With the balance of being a good friend And supporting her But also getting so frustrated And slowly watching her Hangabout potential And not realizing she could do so much better What is the best way to go about this?

Oh my God I would imagine right You're the only person that she can probably trust and lean on in this situation. How long did she say she'd been with this guy for a year and a half? So it's quite fresh. I would honestly say, like, you shouldn't be having,

she shouldn't be moaning about somebody she's been with for a year and a half. Not to that extent. No. Yeah. They're clearly unhappy. I don't know why she's wasting her time. Yeah. To be totally honest.

I don't know how I would probably word that to my friend, but surely your friend also knows that. I think I would just see what you've said. I would just be saying the way you feel about him and the issues you're having imagine these 10 years down the line yeah

because we all have these like moments of is this right like we're maybe arguing a lot or whatever but it shouldn't happen that early on in my opinion I think all of that comes when you start living with someone maybe having kids and it's like you're just kind of like battling against each other for a while yeah but early stages are just

it really should be like to honeymoon I know. And I know that's annoying to say because it's like well it doesn't last forever anyway but it should last for a good amount of time at least. Like what are the issues about? Yeah.

What is there to have issues about when you're supposed to be so... Well I think she said he doesn't treat him right does he? I know she's... If he's boring then they've probably got absolutely nothing in common. You're fucking boring. You're boring?

Yeah, I just feel as well in the early stages that's when you do get treated the best as well. Just in terms of be like romantic gestures, more effort. Yeah. Because it is so early on and you just absolutely love each other at that stage. So if that's already dropped, as you said, what's it going to be like in fucking two years,

never mind ten? I wonder how old they are. I know. I wonder if it's quite a young relationship or if they're a bit older. I do think it is difficult with your pal because you obviously want to be there for them. But if it was me, I would just say like I'm, the ears are open always. But this is how I feel about them and I don't think that's ever going to change. Yeah. So I just want you to know that.

That I'll always be almost like against him and these arguments because I genuinely believe that you're maybe not right for each other. This is the thing with telling friends stuff about your relationship with people because you almost, and everyone thinks it, you vent to your friends and you vent to your family. Yeah. But then you always kind of hold back slightly because you want somebody to speak to about it but you also don't want them to not like that person.

I know. And it's really difficult as a friend to forget it, but you should. Because everyone goes through these things in the relationships. But if it's just constant, surely you're going to have to sit down with them and say, look, you're clearly not happy here. He's not making you happy.

You have nothing in common. I think as your friend, you deserve better. I want to see you happy. I want to see you do better. He's clearly maybe not happy with you either. Maybe you're the problem as well. So you're maybe not bringing the best out in him either. So how about you seriously sit down with him and just say,

look, what the hell are we doing? Because I don't like you. I love you, but I don't like you. I think it's difficult if your friend really can't see any positives. That's not a great sign. Because we all of our moments like, yeah, I really don't agree with that or they should never have said that or spoke to you like that or whatever. But then it's like, but you do really get along.

Like maybe it's just a bad stage or like we've all been through it. This just seems as if there's no positives going on. Yeah. But maybe she's just too scared to let him go and be on her own again. I just think you need to be honest. Honesty's the best policy, as they say. We also

asked where your dating life's at. Keeps us young. Keeps us young, do you know what I mean? Right. Dating is going surprisingly well. Met a guy on Hinge and about to go on a third date this weekend. First ever third day since I joined the apps

six months ago. My question is is it weird that we haven't kissed yet? My friends asked me after the first two dates if he had but it just wasn't the right vibe. They were both casual daytime vibes and I don't really fancy a big kiss in broad daylight in public, lull. Now I'm overthinking in my head about if we're

going to kiss this weekend. I'm sure it will just happen naturally if it's going to but I feel like a 15-node thinking about my first kiss. We're going out for dinner and drinks so I'm hoping it's a bit more serious, romantic vibes and maybe a bit of liquid courage will help. Yeah.

And I might just say, why the fuck if you're not kissing me yet? What do you think about that? How many dates three? The third ones this weekend. Oh, I think that's fine. I think it's fine as well. I do agree that if you've been out during the day...

It's a bit awkward, isn't it? Yeah, when are we kissing? Sober as well? Also, don't kiss me in the daylight. I totally agree with you. Yeah, no, I agree. I don't think that's weird. No, I do also believe, like, when you're a bit older in dating as well,

like I'm not just kissing you. I think you like go home and evaluate. It's so intimate. Kissing is so intimate. I don't want to touch anyone's mouth that I don't need to. It's disgusting. Yeah, especially a snog.

I'm sorry. And a first kiss is always going to be a snog which is so passionate. That for me needs to be the right setting, the right time. Yeah. I would have nothing to worry about. You do it in your own time

and I think the liquid courage. Yeah, I would probably be the same. I think I would have my first kiss after a beverage. Yeah. I think you need to know that you fanci at that point too because if you try and kiss me and I'm not there yet we're done

that's it because you've gave me that but if it feels right on the first date money then fucking go for it no 100% I think either or is fine but I think what you've explained not a problem I just don't think that's weird no you just got to do what's right for you

agree need some advice from a struggling 23 year old pod piggy match with a guy on hinge and started chatting whilst I was working in the US over summer and got a wee bit ghosted for a few weeks. Sitting in the airport on the way home, he messaged me to say he didn't want to be an asshole and was seen someone else. Felt this was a decent thing for him to do.

He's 26, by the way. A few weeks after I got home, he messaged again and said, full disclosure, I've been single for a few weeks and can't stop thinking about you. Don't want a relationship, but up for some fun. I'm very much in the same place as I'm just out of a five-year relationship. We chatted for a few days and then replied got slower and slower. I ended up needing some emergency surgery. and he'd been so nice, but the replies are once a day

or once every two days, and it doesn't feel flirty or fun when I'm sending snaps and cute underwear and waiting three to five working days for a response. It's not even like he's just wanted to or dry. He's asking questions the messages, but I'm sure where to go from here, as I've mentioned once or twice, if he wants me to stop messaging, and he said he's just been

a bit busy or not acknowledge it. Do I just ignore the next time he messages? You either want to chat or you don't, but it's weird, seeming like you want to and then I have to wait for replies. It's killing me, and he knows I've just surgery and can't do anything as I'm in bed for a wee while. He's also my type

a rugby player and genuinely one of the sexiest men I've ever laid like eyes on. Sincerely, I very confused piggy who hasn't flushed in five years is this just the way dating life is in mid-early mid-20s. Okay, I think we need to give us some tips here. Me too. And I think this is

because you're 23 and I hate, I actually hate having to be this way, but honey, never ask a man, shall you stop texting him? never ask that question because they the ball is in their court

they know you're a puppet on a string laying in bed they know you're helpless do never never let a man know that you're so available to him okay point blank stop that right now yeah yeah and that is probably all I'm going to say

on that matter you have made yourself so available to him and you're sending sexy underwear pictures to him and he's not retaliating in any way. Stop that. Yeah, like, why we're still doing that when you're not getting anything back?

Stop it. And that's why you feel so belittled. Yeah. Because you're being quite vulnerable. You are being vulnerable and you're wanting this attention back from him and you're not getting it. Yeah.

And also, it's just not going to make you feel any better. You're giving too much. You are. Like, to send people stuff like that, in my opinion, like, you need, I mean, we've already discussed this that would have been happening, right? But you would need to be so far down the line for me to trust you.

And for that to be a thing that we've discussed and both want to do. whereas you're doing that and not even sure he's going to text you back no I'm sorry we've got to pay the field

a little bit here from your elder sisters yeah stop it I've been in this market a long time now yeah I know how men work

not all men okay I'm not all men the reason I ended up being with Richard because he wasn't the opposite he wasn't a game player but I was older

at that point well I was actually probably some rage to her actually saying that but yeah I was but I had been with the people

before that fucked me around I was a little bit like you I would wait to get a text back from people it's just not the way to be We've all done the texting thing like staring at your phone and they're going to text back of the not but it is like almost everything

in hindsight once you've not had to do that with someone you realize like what the fuck was I thinking like why was I putting myself through such a painful situation actually makes you feel worthless makes you feel the size of fucking pee to then get nothing

from it. I agree. It's almost like self-sabotage. Like, why don't it's yourself? I think you need to bin him off. You've had surgery. Hope you're well-bye them. I don't think you need to bin him off, actually. What I think you need to do is, well, you're essentially binning him off. Stop texting back. He will come crawling back to you and I promise you by that point, you are not going to be interested. Yeah. Listen, focus on getting yourself better first from your surgery. You're going to feel like a piece of poo on your shoe right now anyway. You're maybe looking for a bit of attention, a bit of love and whatever, but what you actually need to realize is

if you zoom out, right? He's not giving you that. No. All he's actually doing is making you sit and guess yourself, making you feel shit and making you sit and wonder, like, what's coming next. That's not making you feel good. Nope.

Bye-bye. Honestly, bye-bye. Take it from your big sister here who's the queen of flirting. Listen, men love it when you give a bit of shit back. They love it and when you don't text back. You've got to just be in control at all time. yeah you have especially at 23 i think just protect yourself get yourself better don't ever tell him you are available as much as you are doing

sis stop that right now it's attractive if you're not so much more attractive and i know we've said it so many times that is what i know that's so annoying that we have to be this way could you almost pretend you're not available when you are you deserve a man to to text you back straight to you deserve a man that tells you beautiful when you send those sort of vulnerable photographs. Why you're pretending you're not on your phone because you're... Yeah.

Stop it. You deserve better, is what I'm saying. But at your age, I think it's fun to learn this sort of stuff. It's fun to... Sometimes to feel a little bit of shit about a bloke. Sometimes it is good because it makes you realise actually what you want and what you're worth. It's fun yet if it's not getting you down

and you come out of it with a strong mindset. Yeah, fuck that man. But there's a fine line of how it makes people feel and move forward. You won't become a... on this bloke forever. Yes, you might be hot and gorgeous to look at, but women age better.

Don't pine after him, no. Right, so somebody messages in saying on the dating response, I'm currently sneaky linking with my best friend's fiance's best friend. Right, okay, yeah. So I replied like, sis, we need more context. Yeah, more. Tell us more.

So basically, I'm also mutual friends with his girl best friend. and they may have slept with each other a few times The vibe is that she liked him more than he liked her But there was never any labels on it He was always flirty with me But recently things changed And he admitted he actually liked me

And things have progressed from there I just feel like a shit friend of a sneaky linking With a guy who has some sort of history With a mutual friend of mine So for both of our sakes We are keeping it a secret from all of our friends But I'm actually enjoying the excitement of it I just feel like I need some big sense

sister advice on whether this is actually really stupid of me or should I go for it because technically they were never together and nobody should be getting hurt because we're together. Right. Okay. I really think this is a little bit different than being official and putting a label on it. Listen, if it was me in my, where in my hometown where I'm from, I probably couldn't even walk five yards with seeing a guy that hanshagged somebody that I knew mutually. Yeah.

It's just very difficult in your. hometown to find somebody that is untouched should we say from somebody that you know yeah um and that wouldn't have stopped me it would definitely stop me if it was a good friend of mine's x and they've been together a long time that's a no-go zone in my opinion i could do it's just not for me right but i think this is fine i think this is fine for now if you're happy keeping it secretly on the on the down until you probably both know a little bit more but i do think you i do think the information should have come from yourself to this girl first before she finds out. That's all I'm going to say.

I think it's best it comes from you. Well, I feel there's two situations here because you're sneaking around behind your couple friends. Yep. His friend and your friend who are a couple. Yep. Them I wouldn't worry about. Once you both know if you actually like each other and it could be something serious, you go to them and you say, look, we've been doing this.

We didn't want to tell anyone until we knew what it actually was. Yeah. And now we're like kind of seen each other. other we really like each other they would be like yay couple friends love it no issues i would imagine the other girl yeah as you said i would tell her from yourself how close you are though do you think you should let the couple friends tell her or do you think he should tell her you know that dynamic better than us so maybe you can decide that but i think if you think she's a good friend of yours and you speak regularly then i would let it come from you yeah me too because i guess as

you said if you live in quite a small place like there's going to be a connection somewhere always right but also if they were quite casual it's the same situation I wouldn't be telling her or having someone tell her until again you're maybe actually seeing each other or it's going to be something

because again like you're allowed to shag him too if it's just shagging you're allowed to shag him yeah if you're both single if their situation was just shagging as well yeah yeah I guess it depends if the other girl she's saying obviously she didn't want to hurt her feelings because she liked him a lot more and he liked her. So he's obviously telling her, look, listen, we were nothing.

We were just sleeping together. But she's probably thinking, well, I've actually spoken to her before and I know she really liked you. And I know this will hurt her feelings. So that's why I think maybe it should come from you. So is it as if it's like she's going with, it's like me going with one of your friends?

Oh, I can't quite like that out as Oz. My brain ain't braining for that. It's like this girl's a mutual friend to her. So it's a friend through a friend. Is that right? Yeah. But she knows her though. That is difficult.

Okay. I, you obviously both clearly really like each other and you shouldn't... Like, what would be the point of you never been together? If you really like each other, she's probably going to move on with someone else anyway. He doesn't want to be with her. Yeah.

They were never together. Yes, she really liked him. He's not chosen between him and her. He doesn't want her. I also need to know, like, the time frame. How long ago were they sleeping together? And how close are we all? Is she over it?

Or was it a couple years back? Do you think she might be close to meeting someone or is she still tied to this guy? You've got to ask those questions. I feel like it's like a hard blow to someone these things but equally I agree. It's like if we're all a bit older now, everyone's looking for their partner.

The right partner, right? Yeah. Let's just be honest about that. Why would you stop potentially meeting someone that could be that person because someone you know has shagged them before. That's essentially what's happening here. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, there's maybe feelings and it might be a bit like shit for her for the literal error she finds out. And you might lose her as a friend. She might not ever be able to be comfortable enough in your company with each other. And you've got to ask yourself, like, do you want to lose her as a friend?

Is she important enough to you? Like, if that happens. I feel like man pressure would be that they're not that close because if they were that close, she wouldn't be shagging him. That's right. End the story. Well, you'd hope.

well exactly so that's what I'm going to take from it and in that case I think it's fine just make sure it comes from you sorted good luck too I hope that's your big sis advice sorted let's know actually like yeah we give all this advice we're not flipping experts we're just giving you our friendly advice like you guys tell us as well like you listen to this podcast comment on it send us a DM what's your thoughts on everything we discuss we're never always going to be right so don't take what we say as gospel just it's just our opinion I would love to, I wish we could always sit in a room. Maybe it could be like a live shirt of all the listeners and just be like,

right, what do you think? Stand up. You're only invited if you've read out your dilemma. Yes. This is a funny one, by the way, about dating. I got the it because a man wants to take me bowling. I'm 35. Surely I can't be bowling in this life. And one similar as well. Disastrous, spoke to a guy. He seemed decent. He suggested Pizza Hut or Tony Max for first date. I'm sorry, that's a no.

You're not getting an apply for me. That's a no for especially for me. Good grief. No. Isn't Pizza Hut closing down? I said, didn't I hear? Three months of amazing dates and contact all day and night and then got ghosted on Halloween. Oh, spooky. He's dead.

He's dead. It's got to be. It's been an explanation. Yeah. Me and Zoe were actually talking about this before the pod earlier, and it ties in quite nicely to everything that we've discussed. But I don't know if you guys have actually read Shantae Joseph's article for Vogue about is having a boyfriend embarrassing now. And the up for all that it's caused, it's gone viral everywhere. and I read it

and could so relate to so much of it it really made not I don't mean in my situation per se but what I mean is I can understand what she's writing about it's a lot deeper than what you actually think yeah because initially I was reading the

headline which obviously draws you in because you're like I'm not embarrassed to have a boyfriend because I'm not but all these things that we talk about and all the dilemmas which mostly do evolve around men probably letting women down in some way or another I'm embarrassed for us

I'm embarrassed that we have to change our way to be at this level half the time I'm embarrassed we're the ones always getting light down why is that

most cases what I need to happen was for having a boyfriend to not become actually embarrassing because I think heaven's embarrassing anyway as you said so what's going to happen here is I'm going to end up alone

I'll have the ick and you're like you're embarrassing by yeah I know we have been with you but I do agree though saying you're single is such a flex. I agree. It is not a slur. No. I genuinely, when somebody says they're single, I'm like, slays this. That is so cool to me. I agree. And message, I feel. We had endless people

messaging as like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm dreading it. I've just been dumped from my relationship. I don't know what to do. I've split for my husband after 20 years. I'm dreading being single again. My boyfriend and I are breaking up. He moves out in a month and we're still living together. It's really hard. I've just broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years at 34. I still so, feel so behind, but knowing it's right thing to do after so much shit. Like, girls, all I'm going to say to you is, you're about to enter the most superior time of your life. Absolutely. If you choose it to be. It's mindset. It is mindset. And honestly, you are not alone. There's so many girls and so many of my friends as well that have completely done a 180 of their life at this age.

I'm talking like mid 30s. And they have found somebody else now. They are happy. than ever or they've gone through a stage where they were really working on themselves to find someone that's right for them or they're single and absolutely thriving their tits off or they've moved to the other side of the world and thriving their absolute hits off like you it's going to be difficult and you have every right and it's okay to be sad of course but I do think you are about to enter such an amazing time of your life you actually don't need to deal with anyone else like that is amazing you make all your own decisions you'll only need to think about your own diary, you're only responsible for yourself.

Yeah, it's fucking perfect. And what the article says, like, it's embarrassing that we are, we have been made to think that not having a boyfriend is embarrassing. Yeah. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Right, we're going to, we've got a couple more to read over on Side Dish. So we're going to go, but I hope you enjoyed the episode.

As we always say, we are not experts. We are just your friends, giving you our friendly, lovely advice. Please let us know your thoughts in the comments. And if you like this episode, please like and subscribe on YouTube. join us over on Side of some Patreon for more extra Goss and chat Follow us on Instagram if you don't already Comment our posts, like them, share them with friends

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